Jurassic World: Rebirth

Five years after the mess that was Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), we're back in the land of toothy nostalgia. This time, an expedition heads into remote equatorial regions to extract DNA from three colossal prehistoric creatures in the name of a "groundbreaking medical breakthrough."

Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard are mercifully gone (finally), and in their place we get Scarlett Johansson, stepping in as the new face of the franchise for round seven of the Jurassic Park/World saga. Gareth Edwards takes the director's chair, and while he's always known how to stage a good spectacle, even his talents can't fully save this dino-soaked popcorn flick.

Let's talk visuals. There's certainly no shortage of giant set pieces and dinosaur mayhem-but when your dinosaurs look like glossy, overcooked cartoon rejects, all the action in the world can't make it feel real. Hollywood still hasn't learned that audiences are burnt out on soulless green-screen overloads, and the actors, forced to react to nothing, stumble through half-baked expressions of terror. You can practically see them wondering where the tennis ball on a stick went.

Character-wise, it's a wash. Most of them are either grating or entirely forgettable, spouting cringey, rapid-fire dialogue that exists solely to shuttle us from one set piece to the next. And while Rebirth does manage to attempt something new and different, it still feels like we're just circling the same prehistoric drain. It's entertaining, sure-but it just isn't that exciting.

That said, it's still a step up from Fallen Kingdom and Dominion, which isn't saying much, but at least it's something. At this point, though, it's time Universal grew a pair and gave us the R-rated, blood-splattered dinosaur horror epic we deserve-because the stakes never feel high when your carnivores are sanitized for mass consumption.

Here's hoping the next one finally evolves. But I'm not holding my breath. It's best to turn your brain off and enjoy this one for what it is.

6/10.

Honestly, the first half felt all over the place - too much talking, too many introductions, and pacing that dragged. But once they hit the island, it got better: dinosaur action scenes were intense and visual effects impressive, especially that river chase and cliff sequence.

Scarlett Johansson and Jonathan Bailey were solid, with Bailey bringing unexpected charm despite some forced emotional lines. The movie leans heavily on spectacle and nostalgia, yet the human characters felt shallow and underwritten - I never truly cared about them.

It's entertaining as a summer blockbuster if you just want dinosaur chaos, but it lacks depth. Still, worth the watch for the action and visuals.

Holy cow! This is more abysmal than i thought would be. None of the actors give good performance. The plot is pathetic. No twists, surprise, addition of a 'family' as if we should care about a bunch of no-name actors with nothing to add to the plot. Hard to believe this is written by David koepp, a master in his own craft. The first flop of this franchise. Universal deserves every piece of criticism it is getting. Horrendous CGI is an added disaster for this slop. I had high expectations after the previous two garbage entries in this franchise but i never felt any excitement in the trailer so naturally the movie is even pathetic i thought it would be.

Let's face it, this franchise always triumphs despite the criticism.

I think that since the original "Jurassic Park," none of the films have received good reviews, but they always have incredible box office returns.

After the disastrous previous trilogy, where the first part lived off nostalgia and reliving moments, and "Fallen Kingdom" and "Dominion" were complete narrative disasters, it was obvious we were getting a new film.

On the one hand, there are successes: the casting is excellent, with S. Johansson, M. Ali, and J. Bailey as the main trio. There's great chemistry, and it works well. On the other hand, G. Edwards' direction knows how to work well with blockbusters.

But on the other hand, there are major omissions, a somewhat absurd script that closely mimics "Jurassic Park 3." A family, if not, that we know will survive. Few deaths, which I think would have favored the narrative and improved the atmosphere. The CGI, while good, is far from the animatronics we fell in love with. Many sequences are homages/rip-offs that many will enjoy, while others won't.

Overall, I found the film entertaining. I think they're still exaggerating the hybrids and that the trailers had shown everything, including 100% of the dinosaurs that would appear.

Unfortunately, I think the franchise is closer to "Fast and Furious" than to Michael Crichton's books, and that's a shame.

I didn't go in with very high expectations, but this still should have been better considering David Koepp was returning as a writer and Gareth Edwards is a good choice for director. I even liked his 2014 Godzilla movie more than most people, so I am far from a hater.

I'll break this down into three pros and cons to keep this short.

Pros:

1) There are dinosaurs.

2) Some great location photography, especially in Thailand.

3) There are a couple of great moments of grandeur, although the best one for me (revealing a herd in a valley) relies on a lot of nostalgia farming. Still, it's effective. There's also a sequence with a raft that feels like Spielberg could have directed it, in a good way.

Cons:

1) The script is bad. Lots of exposition, despite the fact that the plot is very simplistic. Some of the characters are annoying. Everything is very predictable, to the point that there's really not a single surprise. There's little tension or sense of danger or even mystery.

2) The cast. Most of them seem to be here to collect a paycheck. Scarlett Johansson seems a little miscast for the character she's playing, though I'd still primarily blame the writing rather than her performance. Jonathan Bailey is a non-entity. Mahershala Ali is wasted. None of these characters are memorable. The best character is probably a tiny dinosaur they meet along the way that gets a few easy "aww" moments. It's cheap, but it works.

3) The special effects. As far as I could tell, the dinosaurs are 100% CGI (or close to it). Dominion was far from good but the mix of practical and CGI effects was nice to see, and a step in the right direction. I was hoping for more of that here, especially since there are several opportunities for practical effects once they get on the island. Everything looks artificial. It's also one of those movies where despite the great location photography, some of the environments still look really fake.

Anyway... the last three movies in this franchise have all been pretty bad. I don't expect something on par with the first Jurassic Park, but I think we could do a little better than this!

5/10.