Jurassic World: Rebirth

Honestly, the first half felt all over the place - too much talking, too many introductions, and pacing that dragged. But once they hit the island, it got better: dinosaur action scenes were intense and visual effects impressive, especially that river chase and cliff sequence.

Scarlett Johansson and Jonathan Bailey were solid, with Bailey bringing unexpected charm despite some forced emotional lines. The movie leans heavily on spectacle and nostalgia, yet the human characters felt shallow and underwritten - I never truly cared about them.

It's entertaining as a summer blockbuster if you just want dinosaur chaos, but it lacks depth. Still, worth the watch for the action and visuals.

PROS: -The Cinematography is Spectacular!!!

-The T-Rex sequence is TERRIFYING!!!

-Heavy "Jaws" influence during the Mosasaur sequence.

-The Dinosaur effects are great.

CONS: -I'm really tired of mutants/hybrids in my Dinosaur Movies.

-Script tries to undo the fallout of "Fallen Kingdom/Dominion".

-All the characters feel like caricatures.

-The inclusion of an annoying family and a baby dino.

This was a frustrating experience. For every positive in the film, there was a corresponding negative. Gareth Edwards is always on point with cinematography and shot composition. The fact that this was shot on film was noticeable in a positive way. The visuals looked bright during the day, avoiding that blue-tinted filter most blockbusters use these days.

The Mosasaur and T-Rex sequences are actually thrilling, with the T-Rex being legitimately terrifying for the first time since "The Lost World". The effects for the dinosaurs were great, though I do miss the use of practical effects. What I don't miss is the inclusion of mutants and hybrids. I go to these movies to see dinosaurs, not monsters. There are plenty of other franchises for that. The Mutadons and D-Rex serve the same narrative purpose as the raptors (who got completely sidelined here) and the T-Rex. If they had simply swapped them out for those two in the third act, I'd have been much happier.

Also not helping were the characters. The family subplot could-and should-have been removed entirely. They add nothing to the story and waste screentime. The expedition team are all stereotypes, but Mahershala Ali at least stands out. Honestly, I think he would've been fantastic as the lead here instead of Scarlett Johansson.

All that said, I went in with no expectations and still found myself mildly entertained. I can't help but smile when the John Williams "Jurassic Park" score plays and it made a few welcome appearances here. This is definitely a 'paint-by-numbers' Jurassic movie, but I wouldn't be upset if Gareth Edwards got another chance to direct one. 7/10.

I wish I could take a previous review for a Jurassic park clone and insert it here to get across the effort the studio is putting into these now. It's just a cheap cash in for some money. Very boring and predictable. The CGI actually looked worse than the 1993 movie. How is that even possible you ask? By just having gratuitous CGI constantly. It just looks bad and I'm actually depressed after watching this. Something about it all just felt cynical and like it somehow ruined my love of the original a little bit. With that said, this is the last ride for me on this franchise. It hasn't been good for decades as I look back and think about these films.

I'm genuinely furious. This film is a full-on disaster for common sense. Everything is absurdly stupid - from the script to the characters' behavior.

There's hardly any plot to speak of. Instead of a coherent story, we get a pathetic excuse for intrigue - something about "collecting blood samples." The rest is just empty space, disconnected scenes, and aimless noise. It feels like the writers just gave up, hoping that big names and dinosaurs would carry the film.

But even the dinosaurs are missing. What we get instead are grotesque mutant creatures that inspire neither fear nor awe - only disgust. Where's the grandeur of the ancient world? Where's the spirit of adventure? Everything is drowned in a CGI mess.

And let's not forget the behavior of the main characters. It's not just stupid - it's insulting. It feels like they're competing to see who can make the dumbest decision every minute. Watching it is physically painful.

And then there's the architecture and technology. Are you kidding me? You're on an island full of predators, and everything makes noise - doors bang, systems whir, everything clatters. It's as if the designers intentionally made it easier for dinosaurs to find and eat everyone. Total nonsense.

In conclusion: this film is hollow, annoying, and completely disrespectful to the audience. No plot, no sensible characters, no proper dinosaurs. Just noise, stupidity, and monstrosities. A "rebirth"... into something much, much worse.

I didn't go in with very high expectations, but this still should have been better considering David Koepp was returning as a writer and Gareth Edwards is a good choice for director. I even liked his 2014 Godzilla movie more than most people, so I am far from a hater.

I'll break this down into three pros and cons to keep this short.

Pros:

1) There are dinosaurs.

2) Some great location photography, especially in Thailand.

3) There are a couple of great moments of grandeur, although the best one for me (revealing a herd in a valley) relies on a lot of nostalgia farming. Still, it's effective. There's also a sequence with a raft that feels like Spielberg could have directed it, in a good way.

Cons:

1) The script is bad. Lots of exposition, despite the fact that the plot is very simplistic. Some of the characters are annoying. Everything is very predictable, to the point that there's really not a single surprise. There's little tension or sense of danger or even mystery.

2) The cast. Most of them seem to be here to collect a paycheck. Scarlett Johansson seems a little miscast for the character she's playing, though I'd still primarily blame the writing rather than her performance. Jonathan Bailey is a non-entity. Mahershala Ali is wasted. None of these characters are memorable. The best character is probably a tiny dinosaur they meet along the way that gets a few easy "aww" moments. It's cheap, but it works.

3) The special effects. As far as I could tell, the dinosaurs are 100% CGI (or close to it). Dominion was far from good but the mix of practical and CGI effects was nice to see, and a step in the right direction. I was hoping for more of that here, especially since there are several opportunities for practical effects once they get on the island. Everything looks artificial. It's also one of those movies where despite the great location photography, some of the environments still look really fake.

Anyway... the last three movies in this franchise have all been pretty bad. I don't expect something on par with the first Jurassic Park, but I think we could do a little better than this!

5/10.