Jurassic World: Rebirth

I'm genuinely furious. This film is a full-on disaster for common sense. Everything is absurdly stupid - from the script to the characters' behavior.

There's hardly any plot to speak of. Instead of a coherent story, we get a pathetic excuse for intrigue - something about "collecting blood samples." The rest is just empty space, disconnected scenes, and aimless noise. It feels like the writers just gave up, hoping that big names and dinosaurs would carry the film.

But even the dinosaurs are missing. What we get instead are grotesque mutant creatures that inspire neither fear nor awe - only disgust. Where's the grandeur of the ancient world? Where's the spirit of adventure? Everything is drowned in a CGI mess.

And let's not forget the behavior of the main characters. It's not just stupid - it's insulting. It feels like they're competing to see who can make the dumbest decision every minute. Watching it is physically painful.

And then there's the architecture and technology. Are you kidding me? You're on an island full of predators, and everything makes noise - doors bang, systems whir, everything clatters. It's as if the designers intentionally made it easier for dinosaurs to find and eat everyone. Total nonsense.

In conclusion: this film is hollow, annoying, and completely disrespectful to the audience. No plot, no sensible characters, no proper dinosaurs. Just noise, stupidity, and monstrosities. A "rebirth"... into something much, much worse.

Honestly, the first half felt all over the place - too much talking, too many introductions, and pacing that dragged. But once they hit the island, it got better: dinosaur action scenes were intense and visual effects impressive, especially that river chase and cliff sequence.

Scarlett Johansson and Jonathan Bailey were solid, with Bailey bringing unexpected charm despite some forced emotional lines. The movie leans heavily on spectacle and nostalgia, yet the human characters felt shallow and underwritten - I never truly cared about them.

It's entertaining as a summer blockbuster if you just want dinosaur chaos, but it lacks depth. Still, worth the watch for the action and visuals.

Let's face it, this franchise always triumphs despite the criticism.

I think that since the original "Jurassic Park," none of the films have received good reviews, but they always have incredible box office returns.

After the disastrous previous trilogy, where the first part lived off nostalgia and reliving moments, and "Fallen Kingdom" and "Dominion" were complete narrative disasters, it was obvious we were getting a new film.

On the one hand, there are successes: the casting is excellent, with S. Johansson, M. Ali, and J. Bailey as the main trio. There's great chemistry, and it works well. On the other hand, G. Edwards' direction knows how to work well with blockbusters.

But on the other hand, there are major omissions, a somewhat absurd script that closely mimics "Jurassic Park 3." A family, if not, that we know will survive. Few deaths, which I think would have favored the narrative and improved the atmosphere. The CGI, while good, is far from the animatronics we fell in love with. Many sequences are homages/rip-offs that many will enjoy, while others won't.

Overall, I found the film entertaining. I think they're still exaggerating the hybrids and that the trailers had shown everything, including 100% of the dinosaurs that would appear.

Unfortunately, I think the franchise is closer to "Fast and Furious" than to Michael Crichton's books, and that's a shame.

As someone who's watched every entry in the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World franchises, I have to say, this latest installment is the most disappointing of them all. But should you skip it entirely? Absolutely not. It still works as a decent popcorn flick if you're just in the mood for some dino-action without expecting much else.

When Scarlett Johansson was announced as part of the cast, I had high hopes for a standout performance, especially given her strong track record and the charisma Chris Pratt brought to the previous Jurassic World films. Unfortunately, the film doesn't give her much to work with, and her potential feels underutilized.

What really lets this movie down is its tone. The signature humor that helped balance the tension in earlier films is noticeably absent. Even worse, the horror and suspense hallmarks of any good dinosaur movie are dialed way down, leaving the action feeling flat.

The story itself is a mess. It stumbles at the start, never quite finds its rhythm, and ends without impact. The plot feels disjointed, and the characters are poorly developed, you never feel emotionally invested in what's happening.

And then there's the CGI. For a franchise known for groundbreaking visual effects, this entry is shockingly subpar. The effects are shabby and unconvincing, which really takes you out of the experience.

Bottom line: it's a missed opportunity in almost every way. Still, if you're a fan of the series or just want to see dinosaurs on screen, it's worth a one-time watch, just lower your expectations.

Five years after the mess that was Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), we're back in the land of toothy nostalgia. This time, an expedition heads into remote equatorial regions to extract DNA from three colossal prehistoric creatures in the name of a "groundbreaking medical breakthrough."

Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard are mercifully gone (finally), and in their place we get Scarlett Johansson, stepping in as the new face of the franchise for round seven of the Jurassic Park/World saga. Gareth Edwards takes the director's chair, and while he's always known how to stage a good spectacle, even his talents can't fully save this dino-soaked popcorn flick.

Let's talk visuals. There's certainly no shortage of giant set pieces and dinosaur mayhem-but when your dinosaurs look like glossy, overcooked cartoon rejects, all the action in the world can't make it feel real. Hollywood still hasn't learned that audiences are burnt out on soulless green-screen overloads, and the actors, forced to react to nothing, stumble through half-baked expressions of terror. You can practically see them wondering where the tennis ball on a stick went.

Character-wise, it's a wash. Most of them are either grating or entirely forgettable, spouting cringey, rapid-fire dialogue that exists solely to shuttle us from one set piece to the next. And while Rebirth does manage to attempt something new and different, it still feels like we're just circling the same prehistoric drain. It's entertaining, sure-but it just isn't that exciting.

That said, it's still a step up from Fallen Kingdom and Dominion, which isn't saying much, but at least it's something. At this point, though, it's time Universal grew a pair and gave us the R-rated, blood-splattered dinosaur horror epic we deserve-because the stakes never feel high when your carnivores are sanitized for mass consumption.

Here's hoping the next one finally evolves. But I'm not holding my breath. It's best to turn your brain off and enjoy this one for what it is.

6/10.