- Nancy: Oh, damn it, Stuart! You have to be the dumbest, most gullible peace of trash I've ever known, and I was married to the village idiot!
- Samantha: Jay, have you been taking long showers or something?
- Jay Arondekar: You think I'm taking long showers? I got a bunch of invisible people creeping on me. I wear a bathing suit in there.
- Flower: People are so uptight about nudity. In the cult, we used to take group showers. It really helped to clean those hard to reach places.
- Minister Nathaniel: You are joyless and severe, I agree. But even for us Puritans, there's such a thing a too severe. I mean, you wanted us to execute Miss Elizabeth Prue.
- Patience: She was talking to a doll! 'Tis surely a sign of witchcraft.
- Minister Nathaniel: She's five!
- Patience: And on a path most dark!
- Minister Nathaniel: The point is, you have to leave. I'm sorry.
- Patience: Then fine. I shall start my own colony, where there will be no smiling, no laughter. And all the handles of the butter churns shall be rough hewn so that thoust shalt feel the pain of sin with every stroke!
- Minister Nathaniel: Well, I think people are going to really enjoy that. Or not enjoy it, whatever you wish. Anyway, banishment. Next!
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