- Jeff: I really enjoyed being a jack.
- Finch: You do make a good jack.
- Finch: We should consider giving you a name.
- Jeff: I would like that very much.
- Finch: Well, how about Jack?
- Jeff: No, Jack is a tool's name. How about William Shakespeare? Will you call me William Shakespeare?
- Finch: That's taken. Maybe something a little less complicated. You know? Keep it simple.
- Jeff: Napoleon Bonaparte.
- Finch: Napoleon was short.
- Jeff: And what is wrong with being short?
- Finch: Nothing at all. It's just that you are not short. You're very tall.
- Finch: Look, things will happen to you. Things that you cannot control. Raw emotions will find you. When it does, how you deal with it, what you do will define who you are.
- Finch: Tell me something interesting about you.
- Jeff: I have four primary d-- directives.
- Finch: What is the first directive?
- Jeff: First directive: A robot cannot harm a human or, through inaction, allow a human to be harmed.
- Finch: What about the fourth directive?
- Jeff: In Finch's absence, robot must protect the welfare of dog. This directive supersedes all other directives.
- Finch: [Jeff, Goodyear barking] Hey, hey, hey! What's going on with all the fuss?
- Jeff: I thought our communication might improve if I learn to talk dog. I have made a comparative analysis. I believe I have isolated several root phonetic units. However, it seems to have misunderstood everything I have said. What is the matter with it, Finch?
- Finch: It's not an "it." It's a "him." There's no such thing as dog talk.