- Melina Vostokoff: Good boy, Alexei. Good boy.
- Alexei Shostakov: You named a pig after me?
- Melina Vostokoff: You don't see the resemblance?
- Natasha Romanoff: Here's what's going to happen.
- Melina Vostokoff: Natasha, don't slouch!
- Natasha Romanoff: I'm not slouching!
- Melina Vostokoff: You're going to get a back hunch.
- Alexei Shostakov: Listen to your mother.
- Natasha Romanoff: Oh my God, this...
- Alexei Shostakov: Up, up!
- Natasha Romanoff: All right, enough! All of you!
- Yelena Belova: I didn't say anything, that's not fair!
- Alexei Shostakov: Why the aggression, huh? Is it your time of the month?
- Yelena Belova: I don't get my period, dipshit. I don't have a uterus.
- Natasha Romanoff: Or ovaries.
- Yelena Belova: That's what happens when the Red Room gives you an involuntarily hysterectomy. They kinda just go in and rip out all your reproductive organs. They just get right in there and chop them all away. So you can't have babies.
- Alexei Shostakov: OK, OK, you don't have to get so clinical and nasty!
- Yelena Belova: I was just going to talk about fallopian tubes...
- Alexei Shostakov: I want to say something right off the bat. You haven't aged a day, huh? You're just as beautiful and as supple as the day they staged our marriage.
- Melina Vostokoff: You got fat.
- Yelena Belova: Why do you always do that thing?
- Natasha Romanoff: What thing?
- Yelena Belova: That thing you do when you're fighting. The... like... the thing you do...
- Yelena Belova: [gets down to the floor to strike a pose and whips her head back and forth]
- Yelena Belova: When you whip your hair when you're fighting and you do like a fighting pose. It's a fighting pose. You're a total poser.
- Natasha Romanoff: I'm not a poser.
- Yelena Belova: Ha ha! I mean they are great poses but it does look like you think everyone's looking at you, like all the time.
- Natasha Romanoff: All that time that I spent posing, I was actually trying to do something good. To make up for all the pain and suffering that we caused. Trying to be more than just a trained killer.
- Yelena Belova: Well, then you were fooling yourself. Because pain and suffering is every day and we are both still a trained killer. Except I'm not the one who's on the cover of a magazine. I'm not the killer little girls call their hero.
- Yelena Belova: Okay, you got a plan, or shall I just stay, duck, and cover?
- Natasha Romanoff: My plan was to drive us away!
- Yelena Belova: It's a shit plan.
- Yelena Belova: You were my real mother. The closest thing I ever had to one. The best part of my life was fake. And none of you told me.
- Alexei Shostakov: Come on, now. If we're just going to press buttons and hack computers...
- Melina Vostokoff: Yes.
- Alexei Shostakov: I mean, I don't know. There's nothing for me to do. I want to... I want to break something.
- Melina Vostokoff: Oh, you do?
- Alexei Shostakov: [grunts]
- Melina Vostokoff: [footsteps, Antonia/Taskmaster approaching] Oh, there is something you can break.
- Yelena Belova: [to Natasha] I've never had control over my own life before, and now I do. I want to do things.
- Natasha Romanoff: [to Melina] I wish I could believe that you cared. But you're not even the first mother that abandoned me.
- Alexei Shostakov: You're gonna be all right. Do you know why it's gonna be all right? Because my girls are the toughest girls in the world. You're gonna take care of each other, okay? And everything, everything's gonna be fine.
- Yelena Belova: [to Natasha] Pain and suffering is every day and we are both still a trained killer. Except I'm not the one that's on the cover of a magazine.
- Natasha Romanoff: I'm just finding it hard to believe he could stay off my radar.
- Yelena Belova: Well it's not smart to attack an Avenger if you want to stay hidden. I mean the clue is in the name. Dreykov kills you and one of the big ones comes to avenge you.
- Natasha Romanoff: Wait, what are the big ones?
- Yelena Belova: Well I doubt that the god from space has to take an ibuprofen after a fight.
- Dreykov: Real power comes from undetectable influence.
- Natasha Romanoff: If no one's noticed, then why even do it? You're nothing. You have nothing.
- Melina Vostokoff: What about Romanoff?
- Dreykov: She's a traitor. She turned her back on her people. On her blood. She had nothing. I gave her home. I gave her love. Put that thing in her you do. You know, uh, chemicals. Turn her into one of your pigs.
- Alexei Shostakov: Never family, huh? In my heart, I am simple man. And I think that for a couple deep undercover Russian agents I think we did pretty great as parents, huh?
- Melina Vostokoff: Yes, we had our orders, and we played our roles to perfection.
- Natasha Romanoff: Who cares? That wasn't real.
- Yelena Belova: What?
- Natasha Romanoff: That wasn't real. Who cares?
- Yelena Belova: Don't say that. Please don't say that. It was real. It was real to me. You are my mother. You were my real mother. The closest thing I ever had to one. The best part of my life was fake. And none of you told me.
- Natasha Romanoff: You can't just steal a guy's car.
- Yelena Belova: So you want me to chase him down and un-steal it?
- Melina Vostokoff: Tell me how did you keep your heart?
- Natasha Romanoff: Pain only makes us stronger. Didn't you tell us that? What you told me kept me alive.
- Yelena Belova: You know, this is the first piece of clothing I've ever bought for myself.
- Natasha Romanoff: That?
- Yelena Belova: Yeah. You don't like it?
- Natasha Romanoff: Is that like a... Is it army surplus, or...
- Yelena Belova: Okay, it has a lot of pockets. But I use them all the time, and I made some of my own modifications.
- Natasha Romanoff: Oh, yeah? Whatever.
- Yelena Belova: Shut up. The point is, I've never... I've never had control over my own life before, and now I do. I want to do things.
- Natasha Romanoff: I like your vest.
- Yelena Belova: I knew it. I knew you did. It's so cool, right?
- Natasha Romanoff: It's good. Yes. I like it.
- Yelena Belova: And you can put so much stuff in there. You wouldn't even know.
- Melina Vostokoff: Yelena, slight change of plan. I completely demolished one of the engines and we are going into a controlled crash.
- Yelena Belova: Fantastic.
- Alexei Shostakov: So, there I am ice fishing with my father. It's very cold day in this little ice shed. Cold even for Russia, you know? Keep the vodka by the fire, my father would say to me.
- Yelena Belova: Please stop talking.
- Alexei Shostakov: Please wait. Please wait.
- Yelena Belova: Please, no. Please, I don't want to talk.
- Alexei Shostakov: Please. Please. There is a reason why I'm telling you this, okay? Trust me. I am reaching for fish. Oh! I lose balance. Ah! Splash! My hands go in the river. In this weather, frostbite sets in quick. My father, he go toilet on my hands.
- Yelena Belova: Oh, my God.
- Alexei Shostakov: Urine is 35 degrees Celsius, staves off the frostbite.
- Yelena Belova: How is this relevant?
- Alexei Shostakov: You know, fathers.
- Dreykov: Oh you find this amusing? Why are you smiling?
- Natasha Romanoff: Don't take this personal, but uh, thank you for your cooperation. You weren't quite strong enough, so... I'll have to finish it myself.
- Dreykov: [chuckles] What are you going to do?
- Natasha Romanoff: [Natasha looks around for a moment and then smashes her face on the desk, breaking her nose]
- Natasha Romanoff: Sever the nerve.
- [Dreykov reaches for the controls and Natasha punches him]
- Dreykov: It's my network of widows that help me control the scales of power. One command, the oil and stock markets crumble. One command, and a quarter of the planet will starve. My widows can start and end wars. They can make and break kings.
- Dreykov: When you look into the eyes of a child you have raised, no mask in the world can hide that.
- Secretary Ross: Yeah?
- Natasha Romanoff: Don't do this.
- Secretary Ross: Do what?
- Natasha Romanoff: Come after me. I mean, you're embarrassing yourself. It looks desperate.
- Secretary Ross: Thought maybe you'd be calling me to cut a deal. 'Cause from my vantage point, it's the federal fugitive who's desperate.
- Natasha Romanoff: From my vantage point, you look like you could use some bed rest. What is this, your second triple bypass?
- Secretary Ross: I wouldn't worry about me. We got Barton, we got Wilson and that other guy, the incredible shrinking convict. Rogers is on the run. You got no friends. Where you gonna go?
- Natasha Romanoff: I've lived a lot of lives before I met you, Ross. You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble. I'm done.
- Secretary Ross: Romanoff?
- Alexei Shostakov: You haven't aged a day, huh? You're just as beautiful and as supple as the day they staged our marriage.
- Melina Vostokoff: You got fat. But still good.
- Alexei Shostakov: I just got out of prison. I, uh... I have a lot of energy.
- Melina Vostokoff: Oh!
- Natasha Romanoff: Please don't do that.
- Alexei Shostakov: Melina, if this is the last time that we...
- [reaching left arm to empty space]
- Alexei Shostakov: Ah, damn it.
- Natasha Romanoff: You've always been a really good friend to me.
- Mason: That's what every man wants to hear.
- Dreykov: I own this world. Me.
- Natasha Romanoff: You seem desperate to impress me.
- Dreykov: I don't need to impress you. I don't need to impress anyone. These world leaders, these great men, they answer to me and my widows. Look at them. These girls were trash. They are thrown out into the street. I recycle the trash. And I give them purpose. I give them a life.
- Yelena Belova: Where are my keys?
- [Natasha produces them by juggling them in the air]
- Yelena Belova: [in Russian] Ah, bitch.
- Natasha Romanoff: Did you get everything on my list?
- Mason: Got passports, entry visas, a couple of local driver's licenses. Mix and match, you should be able to stretch it to 20 or so identities.
- Natasha Romanoff: Fanny Longbottom?
- Mason: What?
- Natasha Romanoff: What, are you 12?
- Mason: That is a legitimate name.