Jack Black credited as playing...
- Steve: Chicken Jockey!
- [from trailer]
- Steve: As a child, I yearned for the mines.
- Henry: Woah, is he some sort of king?
- [a pig with a crown walks by]
- Steve: No. That's a legend.
- Steve: Water Bucket... Release!
- Steve: First we mine, then we craft. LET'S MINECRAFT!
- Steve: That is an Ender Pearl. Transports you to wherever you throw it.
- Steve: Full man sandwich!
- Steve: Anything you can dream about here, you can make.
- Steve: This... is a crafting table!
- Garrett: Garrett: What's this thing?
- Steve: Steve: That's my diamond sword.
- Steve: [Steve]
- [about the villagers]
- Steve: They love crushing loaf.
- Steve: Diamond armor. Full set!
- [Steve's Lava Chicken song]
- Steve: La-la-la-lava. Ch-ch-ch-chicken. Steve's Lava Chicken, yeah, it's tasty as hell. Oh, mamacita, now you're ringing the bell. Crispy and juicy, now you're having a snack. Oh, super spicy, it's a lava attack!
- Malgosha: You'll never be happy. Deep down you know. To hope, to dream, to create, is to suffer.
- Steve: You're right. It is harder to create than to destroy. That's why cowards tend to chose the deuce.
