- Sheldon Cooper: [after Howard learns his mother died] May I say something?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Not now, Sheldon.
- Howard Wolowitz: No, it's okay. Go ahead.
- Sheldon Cooper: When my father died, I had no friends to help me through it. You do.
- Penny: [Crying] I really thought he was going to say "let it go."
- Penny: How's Howard holding up?
- Raj Koothrappali: He's hanging in there.
- Leonard Hofstadter: How are you doing, Stuart?
- Stuart Bloom: Still can't believe she's gone. I mean, that woman took me in. If it wasn't for her, I, I would have been homeless.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: One of us would have taken you in.
- Stuart Bloom: Yeah, I don't recall any offers. But, you know what, uh, I, I'm glad it worked out the way it did because I got to know this wonderful person.
- Raj Koothrappali: Yeah. Mrs. Wolowitz was pretty special. When I first moved to America, Howard was my only friend and she made me feel so welcome in her home. Which says a lot, because, those first few years, she thought I was the gardener.
- Penny: Whenever I saw her, she'd say I was too skinny and try and feed me.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: She did that to me, too.
- Penny: Don't take this away from me.
- Sheldon Cooper: I didn't care for her yelling. But now that I'm not going to hear it again, I'm sad.
- Leonard Hofstadter: If you want, I can yell at you later.
- Sheldon Cooper: It won't be as good.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Let's have a toast. To Mrs. Wolowitz. A loving mother to all of us. We'll miss you.
- Sheldon Cooper: Is that all you have, shopworn tidbits like "talk to her" and "let it go"? Gee, Penny, life's given me lemons, what should I do?
- Penny: Well, you could shove 'em somewhere.
- Sheldon Cooper: Okay, now you're getting creative.
- Sheldon Cooper: Why didn't you help me out when I was stuck in string theory?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I did. You said the only math biologists know is when they have three frogs and one hops away and you have two frogs.
- Sheldon Cooper: That is funny, it does sound like me.
- [Opening lines]
- Sheldon Cooper: I invented a new science joke. Would you like to hear it?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Of course
- Sheldon Cooper: How many Edisons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: How many?
- Sheldon Cooper: None, because he stole the idea for the lightbulb and doesn't deserve his own joke.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Is that true?
- Sheldon Cooper: Of course. That's how you know it's a good joke. It entertains and educates.
- Penny: What's going on?
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm mad at Amy.
- Penny: Did she leave pit stains in your favorite crop top too?
- Penny: I can't believe you were testing me against a chimp.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well excuse me, Amy was testing you. I was rooting for you. Good job on that banana box, by the way.
- Penny: Imagine your problems are a pen.
- Sheldon Cooper: Okay.
- Penny: Now imagine you're holding that pen.
- [Sheldon holds up his hand as if he were holding a pen]
- Penny: Now open your hand and let it go.
- Sheldon Cooper: But I just got this pen! It's got my initials on it and everything. Look.
- [Holds up empty hand]
- Sheldon Cooper: That doesn't mean that you should be standing on street corners handing out your math to whatever guy comes along.
- Penny: Try thinking about something else.
- Sheldon Cooper: Can I think about the spiny anteater?
- Penny: Sure.
- Sheldon Cooper: The spiny anteater... did not go behind my back and help Barry Kripke. That did not help at all.
- Raj Koothrappali: Don't see why he's so grumpy. I got mistaken for that guy in Life of Pi once. I'm still floating.
- Howard Wolowitz: That is a good point. But I didn't marry you for good points. I married you to blindly support me no matter how ridiculous I'm being!
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: This is why I had to rewrite our wedding vows.