Antonio Banderas credited as playing...
Puss in Boots
- The Big Bad Wolf: I was there to witness all of them. Each frivolous end. But you didn't even notice me, because Puss in Boots laughs in the face of death, right? But you're not laughing now.
- Puss in Boots: You are no bounty hunter. You are...
- The Big Bad Wolf: Death. And I don't mean it metaphorically or rhetorically or poetically or theoretically or any other fancy way. I'M DEATH. STRAIGHT UP! And I've come for you, Puss in Boots.
- Puss in Boots: But... I'm still alive...
- The Big Bad Wolf: [chuckles] You know, I'm not really a cat person. I find the very idea of NINE lives absurd.
- [angrily]
- The Big Bad Wolf: And you didn't value ANY of them. So why don't I do us both a favor, and take this last one now?
- [Puss remembers his time with Kitty and Perrito]
- The Big Bad Wolf: What's the matter? Lives flashing before your eyes?
- Puss in Boots: No... just one. I'm done running.
- [Puss drops the Wishing Star map and picks up his sword]
- Puss in Boots: [points his sword at the Wolf] FEAR ME IF YOU DARE!
- Goldilocks: [to Kitty] I thought you were on a spiritual retreat.
- Kitty Softpaws: Namaste.
- Goldilocks: And you're supposed to be dead!
- Puss in Boots: I got better?
- Puss in Boots: Um... meow?
- [the cats are shocked]
- Ohhh Cat: Ohhh...
- Puss in Boots: What? Did I say something salty? It's my second language.
- Puss in Boots: Okay, okay, one more number. I call this one, "The Legend Will Never Di..."
- [a huge bell falls on him]
- Perrito: I'm Puss's best friend!
- Puss in Boots: No, he isn't!
- Perrito: And his therapy dog.
- Puss in Boots: Definitely not!
- Kitty Softpaws: Finally! You need therapy!
- Kitty Softpaws: [looks in the sky] I hate to say it... but should we make a wish?
- Puss in Boots: Kitty, one life spent with you is all I could ever wish for.
- [Puss meets his past eight lives]
- Puss in Boots: You guys are jerks, which makes this very conflicting for me!
- Puss in Boots: [courts a lady] Hola, señorita. Do you like gazpacho?
- [gets crushed by a stampeding bull]
- Puss in Boots: [wins a poker game with dogs by cheating] This is not your night, huh, fellas?
- [the dogs tear him apart]
- Puss in Boots: [drunk] A cat always lands on its feet. Watch!
- [walks off a tower]
- Puss in Boots: [about to weight-lift] No, Puss in Boots does not need a spotter. Watch!
- [gets crushed]
- Puss in Boots: [about to be fired from a cannon] This will revolutionize travel. Watch!
- [he is blown up]
- Puss in Boots: [his face swollen from eating seafood] Excuse me, does this have shellfish in it?
- [keeps eating]
- Puss in Boots: [cooking] I am a master of the baking. Watch!
- [opens a hot oven and is burned to death]
- Puss in Boots: And then there was the giant.
- Kitty Softpaws: [Regarding Puss' beard] What is this? Are you a pirate now?
- Puss in Boots: I think it looks... distinguished.
- Kitty Softpaws: It looks like a possum crawled on your face and died. Of shame.
- Puss in Boots: Please mock me quietly.
- Gingy: Puss, I think you set the oven too high!
- Puss in Boots: I am a master of the baking. Watch.
- [opens the oven door, fire explodes out and Gingy screams]
- The Big Bad Wolf: I came here for an arrogant little legend who thought he was immortal.
- [sighs]
- The Big Bad Wolf: But I don't see him anymore.
- [puts away his scythes]
- The Big Bad Wolf: Live your life, Puss in Boots. Live it well. You know we will meet again, right?
- Puss in Boots: Si, hasta la muerte.
- The Big Bad Wolf: Well, well. If it isn't Puss in Boots himself.
- [chuckling]
- The Big Bad Wolf: In the flesh!
- Puss in Boots: Uh, hey.
- The Big Bad Wolf: There's the famous hat, the feather and, of course, the boots.