MeMyselfOnline

The 'infinite monkey theorem' suggests that a monkey hitting typewriter keys at random for an infinite amount of time would almost surely write any given text at some point, including the complete works of Shakespeare.

What people *don't* know about this theorem is that it also suggests that it would take that same monkey around only 3½ hours (including a 15-minute lunch break for a banana and a Kit Kat) to write the average 4-part drama for Channel 5.

And in the case of Love Rat, average is being kind.

It's abysmal. Whoever told Neil Morrissey he could act was a bare faced liar, as even up against the rest of this wooden cast he was particularly dreadful.

The daughter has to be one of the most unlikeable characters ever written (better luck next time, monkey) but thankfully she's not in it much. Less thankfully that means more time for the mother to waddle around Cyprus bouncing from gullible to stupid along the way.

I saw the ending coming from a mile away despite it being utterly ridiculous, and as for the final scenes - well, perhaps the monkey had had a lobotomy.

3/10

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Maybe it's because I haven't been overseas for years, but I found myself really relaxing into Amanda & Alan's Italian Job.

I've always liked Alan Carr and it was different to see a little insight into his personal life following the breakdown of his marriage. As for Amanda, I often try to not like her but fail to do so - she's not afraid to laugh at herself and that's a quality I like in people.

All in all this show offered a little bit of everything in 8 bite-size chunks. Some sightseeing, some interior design, gorgeous vistas, some emotional bits... I just thought it was a really easy show to watch and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

If I had to have one gripe it's that they never tell us how much they spent in total and how much it's now worth, and that's the only reason it's not getting full marks.

9/10.

Somehow, I missed The Fall on its original airing, so have come across it with its recent addition to Netflix.

Season 1 started out very well and it was easy to see what all the hype was about, and Gillian Anderson knocks it out of the park.

Season 2 was weaker but still able to hold my attention, though it waivered here and there with one too many dragged out scenes, side stories or pregnant pauses during dialogue.

Then came season 3 and it fell off a cliff. Absolutely boring, with hardly anything new added to the mix until a few snippets in the 5th episode, and then a fizzle rather than a bang for episode 6.

Such a shame, as S1 was probably a 9/10, S1 & S2 taken as a whole would probably have merited an 8/10, but taking the whole three seasons in their entirety is barely scrapes a 6/10.

It's also worth adding that although, as mentioned, Anderson is amazing, some of the other cast (the daughter in particular) are wooden in the extreme. As for Dornon, I've no idea what the fascination was with him, and I'm not surprised his career has hardly been stellar beyond the tacky Fifty Shades franchise.