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Buzz Vinard
Reviews
Penn & Teller: Bullshit! (2003)
Skepticism = Critical Thinking
I've been a skeptical atheist for a while, now. It is great to have a show that, at the very least, confirms that I am not alone out here.
Penn and Teller are also skeptical atheists, so no one should be expecting an expose of religion to turn into an episode on the religious conversion of the duo. I don't understand many of the reviews here, suggesting that "thoughtful debate" should be the order of the day on this show. The show is called "Bullshit!" for a reason. You can count on any topic presented here as being something to be taken apart, limb by bloody limb.
The methodology they use is appropriate to their subjects. I personally hate PeTA and other extremist groups like them. The show about PeTA focused on the hypocrisy in their actions, since what they essentially offer is an extremist opinion, not science. PeTA euthanizes animals? PeTA gave financial support to convicted arsonist Rodney Cronado? PeTA vice-president Mary Beth Sweetland uses animal-based insulin, despite PeTAs firm stance that animals are "not ours to usefor food, clothing, entertainment, experimentation, or any other reason"? Holy cow!
The show about AA took a hard look at the success rate of the program, as well as focusing on the religious-based nature of the program itself, calling into question whether or not it is right for courts to order folks into it.
The debate on evolution vs. creationism being taught in public school was fascinating. The point being made, lost on many, was that creationism, "intelligent design", or any other theory that involves a divine creator is religious in nature, and therefore has no place being taught in public schools. What was seen as the outrage was that the prevailing majority religious viewpoint was being pushed to the front as a fact that all, regardless of religion, were going to be taught. This is as offensive as bizarre attempts to round off the value of pi by legislative coup.
Holistic/alternative medicine is a huge business in my home state. I know a lady who has used these remedies to help her back. I've known her for ten years, and she's been a strict adherent to these methods for at least that long. Her back has hurt for ten years, and it still does, today. There is no science at all on the side of the vast majority of these remedies. Some were even shown on this show to be aggravating to the conditions they were supposed to treat. Basic anatomy classes will show that there are no chakra points on the body, or any reflexology nerve pathways in the foot.
The main thing the guys want to get across is to use some common sense. Think critically about these kinds of things. Look at them from all angles. If a group of people offer an extremest and absolute point of view, but make exceptions for themselves, ASK WHY! If science is being trampled by religion, ASK WHY! If someone wanted your money to sell you a car, you'd have it checked out first, right? Do the same with anything holistic and/or psychic. Dig. Find some real answers. ASK WHY! And if someone wants to take your freedoms away, say NO!
When it comes to matters of opinion, Penn and Teller are not shy about their own. But they don't condescend the audience, telling what opinions they SHOULD have, just asking them to question the opinions and beliefs they DO have. Opinions and beliefs that can stand up to critical thinking deserve to be held on to. Those that can't are bullshit. That's the whole point of the show.
I do hope that the show returns soon. It's still at the top of my Tivo list, though an episode has not aired in months.
And if either of you guys read your own reviews, check it out: The two men who founded "Exodus International", a Christian "gay conversion" group ended up leaving the organization and their wives for each other. Please do a show about this!
Sparks: The Price of Passion (1990)
Ok, let's play "Spot the Latino"!
I'm not native to Albuquerque, but I've lived here for eight years. The poor story and imbecillic plot contivances notwithstanding, I watched part of this a few days ago and wondered, "what happened to all the hispanic people?". I haven't seen a scene so white since the last time I opened a loaf of Wonder bread! Not to mention the utter implausibility of a non-corrupt New Mexico politician...
There's more faux western wear on display here than a Friday night at the Roundup. And what's with the cowboy lingo and hats? It looks and sounds like an Ann Richards campaign ad on steroids. If you are a New Mexican, you know what the waiter always asks after you order food: "red or green?". Does the mayor like red chile or green chile? She never says! The people want to know!
The area was settled by Spain, and first inhabited by Native Americans. White people came much later, but from this TV movie, you'd assume that we're the only ones who have been here. If the writing wasn't so bad, I'd call the misrepresentation of racial demographic to be the worst part of the film. Albuquerque is merely a backdrop, and a poorly represented one at that, for Victoria's faux-cultured silliness. When the FBI agent refers to a building as "the biggest lump of stucco", she corrects him by telling him that it's not stucco, it's "adob-ay". No, honey. It's "adob-ee". Sort of like hearing an actress do a fake southern drawl and give herself away by saying "you all", rather than the commonly used "y'all", the backdrop becomes meaningless and laughable. They should have used the more generic-looking Denver.
There's actually more drama in a week at the Albuquerque city council than in this movie. It's too bad that they didn't film THAT! And by the way Victoria, it really IS a lump of stucco...do you know what real adobe construction costs these days?
Blue Velvet (1986)
Thoughroughly American
American cinema is known for some great achievements, and maybe more so for cheap thrill, popcorn munching joyrides.
"Blue Velvet", which should have won the best picture Oscar, and probably would have, had it followed "The Silence of the Lambs" to the voting table, falls into the "great achievements" category. Lynch takes wholesome Americana visions of mom and apple pie and focuses in close-up to show us that sometimes the apples in that pie are rotten.
More importantly, this is a film that transcends style to become a hellishly realistic vision of Americans, and how we view and interact with the world around us. We simultaneously fear and are fascinated by the dark elements of our society. Jeffrey Beaumont does what others wont: he steps clear of the tree-lined streets full of single-family homes built for nice people like him to explore the the monolithic apartment building on the corner, which contains stories both beautiful and grotesque. Literally and figuratively, he becomes part of one of those stories, as Lynch transforms Jeffrey as the voyeur to the camera as voyeur.
The specifics of Jeffrey's adventure are irrelevant, and the plot seems an overblown version of the film noir mom is watching on TV. What is important is Jeffrey dirtying himself in the hidden underbelly of the community he thought he knew, and how this changes him. Isabella Rossellini is a Mrs. Robinson from hell, enmeshing her protege in things Benjamin Braddock would have never dreamed of. Jeffrey's epiphany rivals that of Neo in "The Matrix": while Neo can finally understand the feelings he's had all of his life because reality wasn't real, Jeffrey's reality and his happy-go-lucky demeanor are called into question violently. He is forever changed not just by what he's seen, but by the new perceptions he has of reality, and the fact that what he has seen defies any explanation that would have been offered in his ordinary world.
The ending of the film is a constant source of debate for viewers. Does it represent the removal of those rotten apples, or just the bliss of choosing to ignore them and dig in? It's in the eye of the beholder, but either view can represent the same thing, depending on how badly the viewer wants to see this film world returned to its "normal" state.
Acting is dead-on for what Lynch wants to achieve. The story is solid, and the direction is beyond reproach. Some filming styles were considered experimental at the time, but are much more mainstream today (Fincher, etc.). Nevertheless, they are used to great effect and their impact is not lost with time.
This film ranks with Hitchcock's "Vertigo" as an all-time classic example of American storytelling on film. It is so much an American perspective, that I imagine that while not impossible for the rest of the world to appreciate, it is better understood by those of us who grew up in the Lumberton's of our country.
Must see.
Graham Goes to Dollywood (2001)
Impressed with Graham's affection for Americans, and Dolly's affection for Graham
Many of us Americans have great respect for the business woman Dolly Parton is, and for the personally wonderful woman she is reported to be.
Even so, that respect doesn't always translate into being a fan of Dolly's music. I'm simply not a country/western fan. Though I've never been to Dollywood, the concept always seemed to me to be rather corny, and not my first pick of vacation destinations.
Graham, however, finds it endearing. From the mile-high platinum wigs, to the butterfly motifs (only a half-step up from unicorns, really), to the non-alcoholic dinner show, to the rope-lit red, white, and blue finale, it all genuinely brings a tear to his eye. "Say what you want, but these kinds of things are very important to Americans, and they do them very well." It's a telling quote. I suppose we do hold our public displays of patriotism in fairly high regard, which I guess is something of a dated notion to some of our European cousins.
I have to give huge credit to Dolly for her tolerant attitude, as well. Many country musicians flee from anything smacking of an alternative lifestyle. Dolly is either too big in the business, or simply too sweet to have a negative attitude about it. All of her fans are precious to her, and the things that make Graham who his is are special gifts from God. What a warm heart, and what a wonderful human being. God bless her.
Dolly takes the time to show Graham around personally as a guest of honor, sings with him, exchanges gifts, and guest-stars him in a Christmas music video. Along the way, she shares the story of her life and success with him. For Dolly fans, it may be a strange journey watching her cavort with a gay Irish chat-show host. Graham fans may find themselves to be too sophisticated for Dollywood. This special is most likely to be enjoyed by American casual Graham viewers, like me!
Maybe I've been too cynical. Perhaps the spouse and I should take a trip to Dollywood. (But there is someplace to get a drink around there, right?)
Doing Time on Maple Drive (1992)
Did I watch something different?
I grew up gay in a straight-laced family, so when I saw this film advertised, I decided that I would have to watch it. As it happens, there was a lot more than a gay son involved in the plot. Not only was EVERYONE in the story messed up, but cliches abounded, and the over-acting put Charleton Heston and Rod Steiger to shame!
And who did William McNamara's clothes and hair? I don't think even Boy George would dress THAT gay. He turned out to be quite the crusader, though. First, his sexuality is such a burden that he tries to kill himself. Then, he's proclaiming to his dad, "I AM normal!". Well, three cheers for you, Evan Wolfson!
Had the film aspired to true drama (and a degree of truth), Matt should have died and left his secrets to be discovered in the wake of his death. I'd love to have seen how the individuals in the family would have reacted to that. Without such a tragedy, we are left with the impression that this streotypical dysfunctional family will somehow survive and grow. Warm fuzzies all around!
For an honest view of this situation, I'd recommend turning off the TV and reading 'Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son'.
The Fly (1986)
A great remake...of Icarus
Much modern drama is not really so new. In this case, Cronenberg took the original plot of "The Fly" and used it as a framework for the retelling of Icarus.
Goldblum is the genius who flies so high...higher than anyone before him. Even the telepod is bottom-lit, as if he were flying over the sun.
But flying so high has a price, and he pays it in spades. The film's focus is more on his descent than on his rise. The end is inevitable: you know at least half way in that Seth Brundle is deluding himself about becoming a new, better creature. You know what waits for him as he falls.
The ending is as traditional greek tragedy as it gets. Seth has met his fate, and Veronica's life is shattered.
I know a lot of people who disliked this film for its ending. Granted, it was abrupt and tragic, but that was the story. God bless Fox for not insisting on a happy ending, as is the case with so many films these days.
London Kills Me (1991)
No more complaints about American cinema, please.
Although my exposure to world cultures is limited, I do try. This was a film that I tried and hated. Worst of all, after hearing so many people decry the shallowness of typical Hollywood fare and its stereotypical caricatures, I saw characters too outrageous for "Eastenders" being paraded as realistic.
Clint wants out of the drug life and to do this he aspires to be a waiter. Aim high, I always say. Brad Dorif, or a faxed photo of him, or quite possibly a curly wig on a stick, it was hard to tell, offers to hire Clint if he gets a pair of shoes.
Clint, and a huge entourage, apparently wander the whole of England trying to get him some shoes. Eventually, they end up at a suburban home. Whose isn't clear. Mum helps a girl shoot up. Oh, now THERE'S some realism for you! Mrs. Brady may have been a ridiculous stereotype of American housewives, but she never helped Marsha tie off and find a vein. Good God! Dad comes home and sings some Elvis tunes and then chases the kids away.
Why didn't Clint borrow some money and buy shoes at a second hand store? Why didn't he go to a church and ask a kindly nun for some help? Why didn't he hang out in front of a shoe store and panhandle? I just don't know! None of these things seemed to be beneath him. Benevolent groups, like Goodwill and the Salvation Army have stores to help people. I know people who work there! If someone with no money showed up and needed shoes, the staff would give the person some shoes. Maybe not Prada or Gucci, but some form of foot covering. Not many of these groups hand out cell phones to the underprivileged, but shoes are usually no problem. What a dumb concept. The world, or at least the western part of it, simply isn't that cruel. In England, maybe it's from "The Queen's Royal Charity" rather than Goodwill, but people who need shoes do get them.
Aside from the quest for shoes, there was no discernable plot to get in the way of the action. Not that it made the movie any quicker or more bearable, mind you. Despite checking the tape jacket several times, I was not watching the 20-hour extended version, it only seemed that way.
Did Clint get his shoes? Did the cardboard cutout of Brad Dourif hire him at the restaurant? Did I ever watch anything else foreign ever again?
Yes, yes, and yes.
As for the fate of this particular film, I decided to end it all. I took out my S&W .45 and shot a half-inch hole through the cassette. Blammo! (I made sure to rewind it first.) I put it back in the tape sleeve, returned it to the rental store, and amazingly NO ONE EVER CALLED TO ASK ABOUT IT!!! Meaning, of course, that no one else rented it for at least the remaining three years I lived in that city. Others knew something that I didn't. Live and learn.
BTW, if you rent something you've never seen before and someone has actually put a bullet through it, take it as a sign. And if you work at the Kroger video department, I'm just kidding.
Footnote: this classic has yet to see the light of day on DVD, for which we should be eternally thankful to the digital gods.
White Water Summer (1987)
If a log fell on this movie, would anyone care?
Ah, Kevin Bacon...the American Michael Caine.
Like his English counterpart, Kevin Bacon has apparently never met a movie script he didn't like. Nothing is too hammy for the Bacon! Oooh, I'm bad...sorry!
This shotgun approach to accepting scripts leads to some excellent roles (Sleepers, Apollo 13, A Few Good Men), a lot of mediocre ones (Hollow Man, Stir of Echoes, The River Wild), and a few real stinkburgers.
This porker (ouch!) is one of the worst of the lot. Mr. Bacon plays a new-age outdoor guide to help kids. Sort of like outward bound, but even more pointless. He is constantly endangering the kids in situations that would make extreme sports participants sweat and engender countless lawsuits from parents. The idea is to teach the kids a lesson. (Lesson: your parents hate you.)
The film is very expressive. Its pointlessness is expressed cleverly by the dullness of the script and the plodding pace of the direction. Waterfalls cannot save the film. A "Lord of the Flies" ending with the kids killing Vic and becoming feral wouldn't have helped either, as the kids were almost as unlikable as Vic.
No, the best way to end this film would have been...about an hour sooner. Just stop after about a half-hour and have director Jeff Bleckner come onscreen and apologize. End film. Roll credits. Having Mr. Bleckner apologize for future projects, like "The Beast" (yes, the giant squid was his baby) would have been even better.
Root canals are more entertaining than this.
Isis (1975)
The original body piercing goddess...
Today's tribal kiddies have nothing on Isis for piercing endurance. That woman wore earrings the size of soup tureens...and flew! How could she do that? I just don't know!
Seriously, it was a fun show, perfectly targeted for its audience.
Isis also had good advice for the kids, like "don't talk to strangers", "don't prank call the police", or "don't share needles with the junkie ho's on south avenue". She was way ahead of her time.
But I think Trinity could have kicked her ass.
Werewolf (1995)
Not bad, if you get the Special Edition DVD, "A Native-American Werewolf in Flagstaff"
I brought home the "Werewolf" Special Edition DVD basically just to build up my collection. Who would have thought ANY DVD would sell for ninety-nine cents? Oh, well.
I put the movie into my two-disc Toshiba player and fired that baby up! As soon as I saw that the film was in a 1.33:1 aspect ratio, I became upset (I'm a widescreen fanatic, you know). Also, I started to become confused. When did Martin Sheen get so fat? How does day suddenly turn into night? Why did the full moon last for a week? Who moved Flagstaff away from the mountains and into a low-elevation desert? I've heard of people in extreme situations speaking in tongues...but SCREAMING in tongues? Multiple tongues? At the same time? I just don't know!
I started pushing all kinds of buttons on my DVD remote, trying to improve what I was seeing on the screen.
I pushed an up-arrow button labeled "Plot Comprehensibility" to no effect. A similar button labeled "Acting Talent" was also uneffective, as were buttons for "Direction", "Lighting", "Special Effects", and "Cinematography". Finally, I pushed a button labeled "Disc Select". I didn't know what that was, but I figured it was worth a try, too. The machine whirred, the screen turned grey, and then suddenly all of my problems were fixed! I had finally hit on the "Special Features" section. The special features of the DVD include:
animorphic widescreen presentation,
Dolby Digital 5.1 sound,
an alternate ending,
an alternate script,
alternate actors,
an alternate director, and
an alternate title: "An American Werewolf in London".
I guess "An American Werewolf in London" was the original title. I have to admit I like the final title, "Werewolf", better. It's more to the point and doesn't focus on nationalities, which is kind of racist. Also, the movie really took place in Flagstaff, which isn't very close to London, at all.
I think all of the people who have been so critical of the film should see it like this. It was very entertaining. I was thrilled and frightened. I even laughed sometimes, and I think the director meant for me to!
I can't wait to show this movie to my spouse. He loves werewolf films and watches them all the time. I'm always finding those werewolf movie DVDs lying around!
One odd thing is that the DVD is apparently a two-disc set, but the case only has room for one disc. When I ejected the movie, two discs were in the player instead of one. I could have sworn I'd only put one disc in the player. Oh, well. I tossed both of them into the case and put it on the shelf. Can't wait to see this one again!
The Clonus Horror (1979)
The Worst Bewitched Episode I've Ever Seen!
This "Bewitched" movie was really bad! Dick Sargent reprised his role as Dr. "Darrin" Jameson (Stevens), but was the only original cast member to return for this sad reunion flick. Not only that, but he spent the entire movie working on an advertising campaign for a cloning colony, which he never completed! Peter Graves made a passable Mr. Tate, and I guess Lurene Tuttle was an OK Mrs. Cravitz, though she wasn't quite as nosy as her TV counterpart. But who was Paulette Breen supposed to be? Samantha? Serena? I just don't know!
There was more death and dismemberment in this movie than in the typical "Bewitched" episode, so I can't say it's for the kids, or that it will be running on 'Nick at Nite' any time soon. Thank goodness innocent little Tabitha was nowhere in sight! (Unless Paulette Breen was really Tabitha grown up...oh no!)
This movie sure could have used a heavy dose of that wacky Paul Lynde as Uncle Arthur! It sure would have been a lot funnier!
Oh, well. Since just about the entire original "Bewitched" cast is now dead, I suppose a reunion movie would be pretty lifeless (ha-ha, get it?), so it's "Parts: the Bewitched Clonus Horror" or nothing for us "Bewitched" fans.
The Giant Spider Invasion (1975)
Bruising Ecological Documentary
Spiders from space begin to appear in Wisconsin through a black hole. Why they have arrived remains a mystery, for before anyone bothers to ask: "what are they escaping from?", or even: "is this David Bowie's touring band?", a predictable over-reaction to a few local human deaths leads to the conclusion that the newcomers must die. No one even bothered to ask if this was a natural occurrence and therefore should be left alone. The only scientist visible was intent on destroying the spiders and their entry point.
Tragically, P.E.T.A.S. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids and Spiders) was unable to intervene, as they did not yet exist. I believe this documentary was instrumental in their formation, however.
Man's inhumanity to arachnid has never been so fully documented as it is here. I hope everyone who sees this will recoil in horror. I know I certainly did. I can barely bring myself to watch it without weeping. On a positive note, I was unaware that the Skipper or anyone else had escaped La Isla Gilligan until I saw this film.
Certainly not for the faint of heart.
Sssssss (1973)
Moisturize, Moisturize, Moisturize!
This was so bad, I had to wonder whether or not another studio had deleted their logo and inserted Universal's so they could take the blame. Ugh! A lot of these movies, like "SSSSSSS", "The Screaming Skull", and "Night of the Lepus", supposedly inspire horror in viewers of the single-digit age range. That's a hell of a demographic! Personally, I was eight when this celluloid travesty made it to network television. Scared? Nah. I remember laughing hysterically when the somber-sounding TV announcer, trying as hard as he could to sound scary, would say: "We now return, to...S-S-S-S-S-S-S!!" I wondered, even at that tender age, what the price was on self-humiliation. However, the announcer only had to sound 'SSSSSSStupid'. The actors got two hours of 'SSSSSSScreen-time SSSSSSStupidity'.
This is one I surely wish MST3K would have lampooned before it's expiration.
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964)
The Incredibly Bad Movie That Made Me Want a Drink
This movie would have been perfect, had it been edited into a video for "Rusholme Ruffians", by The Smiths. That would have reduced it's running time to, what, 2 and a half minutes and excluded all dialog and that skanky ho of a hypnotist.
Why were suburban housewives watching stripper acts with no strippers?
Why did the greaseball sidekick keep losing his accent?
Why didn't the hypno-ho just try getting her dates drunk, rather than throwing acid on them? You catch more flies with honey, you know...
Why was I watching this and still sober?
But the answers to these questions remain as elusive as the plot of this film. I began entertaining notions of plot improvements via a roller coaster crash, or maybe an atom bomb...send the whole slag-fest out like a David Lynch experiment. Perhaps the throwing of acid on Ray Dennis Steckler was a statement of opinion from the actress, rather than a plot device.
Love, Sidney (1981)
No wonder I stayed in the closet until 1995...
This was one of the first attempts at a gay leading character in a prime-time television series. Tony Randal played Sidney, a middle-aged gay man with some sort of relationship with a straight woman. The woman had a small daughter, or something.
The image that has lasted in my mind for years was of Sidney having a party and inviting his mother's friends. You see, he was gay and therefore had no friends of his own. Right.
It was the last days of disco, this guy was gay, and couldn't scare up enough friends for a party? Right.
It was really sad that the series implied that gay people are to be pitied because we have no friends and that a meaningful relationship, platonic as it may be, is only possible with a straight person.
I know a lot of gay people who hated "The Living End", which featured fatalist gay people shooting up stuff with guns. "Too violent," they say. I say that I prefer the "Living End" image over "Love Sidney". Maybe if Sidney would have had a gun and shot up a few gay bashers it would have been more interesting.
And in all seriousness, this stupid TV show left indelible images on a gay 13 year-old's mind that stuck for years, leaving him afraid and ashamed. That 13 year-old was me. Though I'm now out and happy, I think the show's creative team should issue a public apology for this crap.
The Sin Eater (1997)
A double commentary on English religion and cuisine.
I got to see this one on Sci-Fi's "Exposure" series. The Sin Eater is a man destined by ancient English religious custom to eat a meal on the coffin of the recently deceased, thereby consuming the sins of the dead and ensuring safe passage to heaven, rather than hell. Soon after the death of Kate's husband, the Sin Eater arrives to consume the dead man's sins, via a plate of really gross-looking English food. Kate is unfamiliar with this custom and meets the Sin Eater privately, convincing him to try consuming the sins of the living, namely her own. He reluctantly agrees and instead of boiled mutton and potatoes, Kate prepares Thai food as the sin transport. The Sin Eater is enchanted both by the delicious food and Kate's "delicious sins". It was a fun story and a well-acted and directed film. I'm sure opportunities to see it will be limited, but it's worth pausing for if you get the chance.
Nunzio's Second Cousin (1994)
Exploring the motive for bashing in an amusing way.
Other than D'Onofrio's character looking really out of place with his date, I thought the film was very funny. Eileen Brennan is a riot as D'Onofrio's mother who utters the phrase that titles the film. D'Onofrio, one of today's best actors, is very intense in his role as an angry gay cop who just might consider himself outside the law. The teenager brought to dinner keeps the "deer in headlights" look throughout the film. Funnier might have been putting Seth Green into that role and letting him have some input into the character. However, I believe this short was filmed well prior to its release date of 1997, and Mr. Green's comedic talent was not as well known during filming as it is now. Thusly, his role is extremely brief.
This film is likely a shock for all the straight people who are used to seeing us gay people in "Will and Grace" type roles, and don't expect us to show up in more macho professions or looking like Vincent D'Onofrio. It's also probably too close to the bone for some "straight" men who lash out at gays, but take as many legitimate opportunities to get physical and "bond" with other men as possible. Great work.