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Coralknight
Reviews
History of the World: Part II (2023)
The fact this is on Hulu says it all
If there were a singular word to denote being buried alive while choking on one's own vomit, that would still be a merciful way to describe this digital dumpster-fire. First, Mel Brooks just isn't funny anymore...times have changed and he's just not relatable. Second, his racist, sexist bawdy humor WAS funny once upon a time...because it was acceptable. Trying to replace that with "woke" sermons does not make it funny. I gave this 2 stars because sadly there are several members of MadTV who apparently had nothing else going on. Just not worth watching...and it took a LOT to get through the first episode (and that's all they get from me).
All American (2018)
Goes from great to horribly wrong
The first and second seasons were thought-provoking, well-written and you almost believe there is a consultant on staff who lived in S Central LA that gave insight into life there as opposed to the typical Hollywood cliches. The background character studies were in depth for the principle cast and the sub-plot about the family issues made the series very 3-dimensional (although at times typically sappy and predictable as once would expect from a TV series). But in season 3, the show "jumps the shark" and becomes a typical mouthpiece for Hollywood elites, crying for "defund the police" and citing a police "war on our people" (the typical talking-points of the left) and forget about the actual depth of the previous character study. Watch the first 2 seasons...then pretend the rest don't exist.
KinnPorsche the Series La 'forte (2022)
Interestingly odd
This is one of the better Thai BL series; there's definitely an interesting plot (i.e. Not someone secretly lusting after someone else at school) and a lot of action sequences to keep interest. And it's very odd that the writer actually added actual Sicilian dialogue to this movie (albeit classless and racist, since there is literally no Sicilian mafia running Thai casinos..that would be the Chinese and Russians). Unfortunately, they got the WORST "pasticcione fiorentino" actor to play the role, who speaks Sicilian as bad as the character of Kinn speaks English (the words are correct, but mispronounced horribly). Other than that, interesting choice of casting and a lot of surprises if you stick it through.
Goodbye Seventies (2020)
As interesting as waiting in line at the DMV
If someone decided to create an extremely low-budget movie about waiting in line at the DMV that ran for an hour and a half, it would still be less painful to watch than this. To call it self-indulgent would be a drastic understatement. There are so many stories about the excesses of the seventies in New York City and the consequences that came after, and this is probably the most boringly tedious of them all. Bad acting, horrible script, hideous cast and even worse editing made this a film to miss at all cost.
One Day at a Time (2017)
When the remake eclipses the original...
I guess during the cultural and intellectual wasteland that was 1970's sit-com TV "One Day at a Time" was considered relevant, if not mildly funny, given it stuck to the approved formula of the lead of Ann Romano (played of course by jewess, Bonnie Franklin...hey, can't have Italians playing their own significant parts in Hollywood) constantly sticking it to the patriarchy through one-liners, contrived melodrama and plenty of "boob" jokes to capitalize on the teenage actresses in the entourage. But this new rendition actually has substance, style and HUMOR. The acting coming from 90% of the cast is amazing (you just can't lose when you put Rita Moreno in) which definitely carries the flatter actors (Marcel definitely needs to go back to acting school and stop riding on his parents' contacts...definitely didn't deserve this part). The fact that the family is Cuban and throws in a lot of Spanish makes this all the more relevant (sorry middle-America...it's coming, so deal). The situations, topic and dialogue are sometimes "over the top" but at the same time relatable. The only part I disliked was the constant ultra-liberal Hollywood propaganda machine which has become a visible extension of the Democratic party. Meaning, for Latinos to have representation on TV, they/we always have to appear to be die-hard leftists who think and say everything you'd read in the Huffington post...and for a family of supposedly Cuban immigrants that is sincerely a stretch to say the least (note: Puerto Ricans should not play Cubans unless they actually take the time to do their homework). So yes, plenty of eye-rolls, but also plenty of laughs here...SO MUCH better than the original could ever aspire to.
All in Good Taste (1983)
Proof that anyone can make it in Show Business...
...if you are literally willing to do anything. Yes, this film "features" (not "stars") Jim Carrey...for maybe 3 minutes. He has no lines, just an odd, almost needless extra piece of flesh among piles of sagging, jiggling flesh. Why they wanted Jim Carrey's naked body here (at the time/1983 he was just some nameless, skinny nobody with a micro-penis) rather than paying a model/ANYONE else is really puzzling. Then again, this film is so bad it's not really worth asking such questions.
Star Trek: Renegades (2015)
Boldly proving CGI can't fix acting
The good part about this series is it shows how a concept can in fact turn into reality through the advances of CGI. The acting is surprisingly bad throughout; even from the veterans. A lot of this is due to the extremely poor editing (which is odd considering the high investment in CGI). And while the story/plot is relatively simple (and in fact pretty commonplace): the govt is in trouble, so they resort to non-governmental outsiders to fulfill a mission "off the grid", the writing is actually pretty good, being pretty faithful and paying specific detail to the story-arks from previous iterations of the series. So, A for effort, but D for overall product, unfortunately.
Unorthodox (2020)
Meandering, sappy and odd
Branded as a real-life story taken from the memoirs of a woman who left the Ultra-Orthodox community of Williamsburg, this film just doesn't know what it wants to be. The creepy, repulsive and ridiculous nature of Ultra-Orthodox jewish life is at this point very well documented (a good start would be "In Satmar Custody"), so this film just came up short on too many levels. The main character, played by actress, Shira Hass just seems off (diminutive, frail and not much presence as a lead), and the full-frontal nudity just seemed out of place and self-indulgent...but for whom??? I mean who would possibly want to see that? Even more puzzling is the male full frontal with the pudgy, pasty Jeff Willbusch. Were the producers just trying to get an "R" rating there? Just odd. Anyway much better and more focused films on this topic out there, so I really wouldn't bother with this.
Coming 2 America (2021)
Cultural appropriation and commercialization
First, in the 21st century, why does Hollywood still have to resort to making up fictitious African countries like Zumunda or Wakanda? Why not make up fictitious American states like Texaseepi? Second, why does Hollywood believe that by filling a film with black actors gives them a right to culturally appropriate and commercialize REAL African cultures? It was beautiful that the set designers or whomever it was decided to use derivative African artwork (i.e. the Benin bronzes) but having Eddie Murphy wear an Ethiopian cross around his neck the entire film (and the "Zumundian" crest/McDonald's with Amharic/Ethiopian script in gibberish) was crossing a line. Wesley Snipes (who actually lived in South Africa) was the ONLY American actor that came off remotely African. And it wasn't at all surprising Trevor Noah took the opportunity to show exactly what a sell-out he really is by participating in this mess.
Cheat (2020)
Odd but a good try
This series is not very typical for a BL offering. While the acting is pretty campy and amateur, the special effects, editing and overall feel is very polished. It just doesn't feel like it knew where they wanted to go.
F#*@bois (2019)
Reality?
This film was definitely difficult to watch as it very well could have been true in its time and place. It begins on a very frivolous tone that gives the viewers a baseline as to how shallow and predatory the entertainment industry is in any culture. The fact this is set in the Philippines, a country where human life is cheap and expendable, underscores the logical direction that this industry can (and does) take. The lead actors are superb in their roles and despite the tone come off as extremely sympathetic. The entire film does an excellent job of illustrating how power is abused in a society where willing participants simply look the other way when it is to their immediate benefit.
Test (2013)
A BORING look at the AIDS pandemic
Out of all the fascinating, extravagant, wild and simply unbelievable stories that took place in the gay sub-culture of San Francisco during the 80s, this is by far the most dull...and I know this first-hand since I lived it. A large portion of the film (probably 1/3rd) is just watching modern ballet dancing...as if that's what anyone did in SF. The music (except for one accurate tune), the hair, the clothing and the attitudes of this film are just OFF...nothing like the mid-80s....not even close. I'd say watch an actual movie about the AIDS pandemic MADE closer to the 80s (Long Time Companion, And the Band Played On, etc) if you really want to get a sense of what it was like. This just doesn't do it.
Kiss Me, Kill Me (2015)
Not quite engaging
This is a virtual "who's who" of gay Hollywood C-listers; people who have had either been on reality TV or been in their own web-series just enough to be kind of recognizable....kind of. But once the novelty of "oh! That's that guy...from...um..." wears off, we're left with a REALLY bad script, horrible acting and very stale dialogue. Not sure who or how this was greenlit, but it has a very amateur feel and I wouldn't recommend it at all.
Versailles (2015)
Oppulently sloppy
Like many of the recent caliber of period dramas, Versailles is heavy on titillation and shock-value which often trumps reality and authenticity to historic fact. Yet to its credit, the series does manage to get a bit of the real history, fashion and observations correct (many of which came from the letters of the actual residents at Versailles). But the biggest drawback to overcome is the lead actor playing Louis XIV; he plays the typical British aristocratic archetype and neither displays nor knows anything about the people and culture he is representing...there is literally NOTHING remotely French about him. This goes equally for MANY of the others in the cast, as if they can just play a 1-to-1 British to French Fop (even the peasants brandish a cockney accent to underscore their class...because it MUST be that way everywhere if it's like that in London...right?) The VERY British writers just can't seem to understand the mindset or motivations of French, aristocrats, Catholics or pretty much anything they are trying to represent here. I really wanted to expect more from this since Canal+ participated, but sadly it just boils down to being a British period soap opera that could have been set anywhere.
Steam Room Stories: The Movie (2019)
Not sure how (or why) this was made
Sometimes film-makers really need to understand when to stay in their lane. My guess is the creator of the mildly amusing (and that is being generous) web series of the same name always had the aspiration to turn it into a feature...but why? All the series itself was comprised of short 2 - 3 minute set-ups to a homoerotic joke...hardly a backbone for a feature-length film. And if you are looking to be disappointed, then this film doesn't disappoint...pretty much all I can say there.
Strapped for Danger (2017)
Just watch gay porn instead
There really is nothing good to say about this ridiculous pile of garbage other than it's surprising it was ever given a green light to begin with. It appears to be a soft-gay-porn/comedy fetish-film for people who enjoy men with small penises and the fantasy of fraternity life. That's it.
Room 303 (2012)
Nothing new...nothing good
I feel bad for the actors who participated in this short; they did as good a job as could have possibly been expected. This is simply a bad script and film. As in unsalvageable. I'm sure the writer felt there was some poignant and deep meaning here somewhere that we all just don't understand. But no...it just sucked.
La catedral del mar (2018)
A horrible windsock for historical drama
Sadly, there are very few historical dramas made today with any shred of credibility or attempt towards reality. This is sad, given the ease at which anyone can create a historical drama and get it made, so they are more pervasive now than ever before. This is simply a leftist's dime-store vaudevillian pile of garbage. It literally could have taken place in almost any era, but the 14th century was chosen. The entire premise begins with a rape, committed by some powerful aristocrat which happens in front of an entire wedding entourage...which could have very easily overpowered everyone who showed up (remember; no guns...just swords). And we are to believe that in this era the elite could simply do whatever they wanted to the peasants with impunity. By all historical accounts (and there are MANY) that's just not the way life was back then. But of course historical revisionism sells, especially when it comes down to stories about bringing down 'the man'/patriarchy.
Reign (2013)
A typically awful costume drama
I don't know who started the trend of "historical drama" being completely devoid of history. This horrific mess is so completely wrong, it's almost like a version of the 90's classic "Clueless" (no offense to anyone involved in Clueless) meets a high school version of MacBeth. Everything from the costumes, the music (modern rock riffs) the scenery (the castles and monuments were NEW then...not in ruins they are in today!) and above all, the dialogue is just plain off. Nothing new being said, and certainly nothing worth watching.
Frontier (2016)
Redundant and formulaic
This one of those long, drawn-out "successes" that should have stopped after episode 3 when it ran out of things to say. The topic of the early Canadian frontier is incredibly interesting on many levels. But this quickly devolved into an ultra-PC "woke"-fest, where all the men are hot-headed, brawlers (including the lead, Jason Momoa, who is great, FYI), and all the women hold the real key to power, and they of course had to throw in constant anti-Catholic bigotry (what is a Catholic priest doing in a British fort anyway? This is just stupid) for good measure (the kidnapping nuns were a perfect touch). The quotes at the beginning set the tone, catering to BLM-style "wokeness" so you really know where this is going. I'm just glad Jason went on to better things despite this mess.
Frontier (2016)
Redundant and formulaic
This one of those long, drawn-out "successes" that should have stopped after episode 3 when it ran out of things to say. The topic of the early Canadian frontier is incredibly interesting on many levels. But this quickly devolved into an ultra-PC "woke"-fest, where all the men are hot-headed, brawlers (including the lead, Jason Momoa, who is great, FYI), and all the women hold the real key to power, and they of course had to throw in constant anti-Catholic bigotry (what is a Catholic priest doing in a British fort anyway? This is just stupid) for good measure (the kidnapping nuns were a perfect touch). The quotes at the beginning set the tone, catering to BLM-style "wokeness" so you really know where this is going. I'm just glad Jason went on to better things despite this mess.
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (1979)
Underrated classic
I seriously don't know why there are only 6 reviews as of this writing. The book is of course a well-known masterpiece of its own right, but this movie should not be overlooked. As it was originally made for TV, many of the more graphic and gut-wrenching details were left out, which IMHO didn't change the visceral nature of the scenes. The acting is perfect; the cast could not have been better. There is no "made for TV" feel to this movie and it should rank with all the other classics.
The Last Kingdom (2015)
Predictable docudrama
This subject matter COULD have been very compelling, given it's a period in time that few people tend to hear about; namely the Danish/Viking invasions of what is now Great Britain. Yet in our ultra-PC era, the story-line and message of anti-Christianity, anti-religion, anti-civilization etc are just too blatant and pandering. All the female pagan "wicca" characters always come to save the day, while all the male Christians are fumbling hypocritical fanatics. It has some good fight scenes, but not much else going for it in the way of actual historical content.
Luce (2019)
WAY out of their league
This film was not only very poorly written but also extremely miscast. While the story centers around a supposed refugee from Eritrea, neither the facts nor the reality match up with this story-line, since a) Eritrea is not in any way "war torn" (they had a border war with Ethiopia with mostly military casualties) b) Eritrea has never deployed the use of child soldiers. c) the lead neither looks Eritrean (or African for that matter) nor does he sound like an immigrant raised by white parents (sorry...but he definitely needs some diction courses). Even though there is a Nigerian producer involved in this project, it's almost as if they literally picked an African country at random, thinking they all must have SOME civil war going on. Aside from that, without going into details, the dynamics of this "family" just don't add up. Now, despite this poorly contrived script, there are some AMAZING performances from Andrea Bang, Marsha Stephanie Blake and Octavia Spencer (seriously...does she ever NOT give an amazing performance?), so this alone is worth the 5 stars.
The Great (2020)
A historic comedy that asks the difficult questions...
...such as who could possibly think this was a good idea? Anyone who has an interest in historic pieces is by nature higher in intellect than someone who spends their day watching Tik-tok videos, which is why this horrible, crude farce with no redeeming historic or comedic value makes me scratch my head. There's nothing in it for history buffs (of any ages). The humor is very low-grade (just above fart jokes, but well below anything that would make you think). So, why put all the time and effort into something when the humor and plot overall is so dull and dim-witted? Just doesn't make any sense.