HumbleSolipsist

Giantess Battle Attack is idiotic, immature, and obnoxious... but it did manage to wring a few reluctant laughs out of me. Most of it is basically gibberish - even more nonsensical than it's predecessor, Attack of the 50 Foot CamGirl. Still, I felt it was a little more entertaining, mainly due to the inclusion of a few sympathetic characters and an increased focus on the humour. Some will no doubt be drawn to this film because of the sex-appeal, but I can't really recommend it even on that front... After all, it features one of the least sexy sex scenes I've ever seen in a movie (a power drill???), which it reuses a second time à la The Room (an homage, perhaps? Either way, it makes for awkward viewing). All-in-all, it's pretty bad, but I guess it's at least not as insufferable as the first one.

At it's core what we have here is a classic-style kaiju film set in Norway. It was expertly executed, with visuals that really wowed me, endearing characters, and a sprinkling of humour that gave the film just enough levity without getting in the way of the more dramatic scenes. On the other hand, it's woefully lacking in originality, with most of the scenes borrowing heavily from preestablished tropes. If you've seen a few other kaiju flics, this won't hold many surprises for you. I'd definitely recommend it if you're looking for a fun action movie, but don't go in expecting anything revelatory.

This movie didn't have to be bad. Derivative, yes, but not bad. After all, the same general formula has been used before in Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold and Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader, both of which were surprisingly entertaining. When comparing Attack of the 50 Foot Camgirl to those films, the plot makes even less sense (starting from an already low baseline), far fewer of the jokes land (almost none, in fact), and the acting... Well, the acting is a serious contender for the worst I've ever seen.

The fatal flaw of this film, however, is the fact that none of the characters are at all likeable. They're so awful that it takes the experience from boring to unpleasant. It's obvious that we're supposed to hate our protagonist's 2-timing slimeball husband, and his sadistic, envy-stricken mistress, but even the protagonist herself is vile! On top of just generally being mean and dismissive to all the other characters, she's portrayed as incredibly arrogant, going as far as to monologue about how she will be worshiped as a god the world over. Meanwhile the side-characters are just obnoxious and gross.

At the end of the day, if you're looking for a good giantess film, you have lots of options... and this is the worst one. You can safely skip it.