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tpsimpleman's profile image

tpsimpleman

Joined Jul 2022
Name: Tim
Born: April 17, 1908 — during a lightning storm and possibly an opera.

Mini Bio:
Tim is a cinematic legend, time traveler, and part-time monarch. Born wearing a crown and quoting Shakespeare, he made his stage debut in the womb (reviews were mixed).

With a career spanning over a century — yes, a century — he’s appeared in thousands of films, including Titanic 2: Jack’s Revenge, Fast & the Gloriously Elderly, and the 1931 silent classic The Mysterious Cabbage.

He once played every role in a movie — even the background trees. Method acting? He invented it, then forgot he did, then reinvented it out of boredom.

Fun Facts:
   •   Owns the moon (bought it in ’62 with spare change).
   •   Once arm-wrestled Marlon Brando using only his pinky.
   •   Immortal but insists on using moisturizer “just in case.”

Trademark:
Regal charisma, timeless eyebrows, and a voice that can calm angry bears.

Still acting. Still charming. Still 39.
Welcome to the new profile
Our updates are still in development. While the previous version of the profile is no longer accessible, we're actively working on improvements, and some of the missing features will be returning soon! Stay tuned for their return. In the meantime, the Ratings Analysis is still available on our iOS and Android apps, found on the profile page. To view your Rating Distribution(s) by Year and Genre, please refer to our new Help guide.

Badges5

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Ratings160

tpsimpleman's rating
The Amateur
6.59
The Amateur
That Dirty Black Bag
7.14
That Dirty Black Bag
American Primeval
8.09
American Primeval
Christmas Eve in Miller's Point
5.66
Christmas Eve in Miller's Point
The Sisters Brothers
6.97
The Sisters Brothers
Landman
8.210
Landman
Tombstone
7.810
Tombstone
Orion and the Dark
6.39
Orion and the Dark
Trap
5.89
Trap
The Recall
4.28
The Recall
Alien Encounters: Fact or Fiction
5.58
Alien Encounters: Fact or Fiction
The Comancheros
6.89
The Comancheros
Dark Waters
7.69
Dark Waters
3:10 to Yuma
7.610
3:10 to Yuma
How the West Was Won
7.110
How the West Was Won
The Invisible Guardian
6.48
The Invisible Guardian
One Fast Move
5.08
One Fast Move
All Quiet on the Western Front
7.88
All Quiet on the Western Front
Force of Nature: The Dry 2
5.99
Force of Nature: The Dry 2
Kelly's Heroes
7.610
Kelly's Heroes
Justified: City Primeval
7.39
Justified: City Primeval
The Convict
7.19
The Convict
Wicked Little Letters
7.08
Wicked Little Letters
Your Lucky Day
5.99
Your Lucky Day
My Spy: The Eternal City
5.79
My Spy: The Eternal City

Watchlist34

Atomic Blonde
6.7
Atomic Blonde
Bad Man
Bad Man
Leanne
7.1
Leanne
The Secret Agent
6.1
The Secret Agent
Young Guns: Dead or Alive
Young Guns: Dead or Alive
Implosion: The Titanic Sub Disaster
6.8
Implosion: The Titanic Sub Disaster
American Primeval
8.0
American Primeval
Landman
8.2
Landman
Warpigs: Block to Block in Fallujah
8.7
Warpigs: Block to Block in Fallujah
Alien Encounters: Fact or Fiction
5.5
Alien Encounters: Fact or Fiction
Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson
2.9
Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson
The Terminal List: Dark Wolf
The Terminal List: Dark Wolf
Eddie and the Cruisers
6.9
Eddie and the Cruisers
Man of Tai Chi
6.0
Man of Tai Chi
Most Terrifying Places
7.1
Most Terrifying Places
Monsters Within
Monsters Within
Star Wars: Underworld
Scorched Earth
4.4
Scorched Earth
The Great Escape
8.2
The Great Escape
Luann and Sonja: Welcome to Crappie Lake
6.6
Luann and Sonja: Welcome to Crappie Lake
Once Upon a Time in the West
8.5
Once Upon a Time in the West
Fisk
7.9
Fisk
What Just Happened
5.6
What Just Happened
Arizona
5.8
Arizona
Somewhere in Queens
6.8
Somewhere in Queens
The Fighting Preacher
6.0
The Fighting Preacher
Prizefighter: The Life of Jem Belcher
5.5
Prizefighter: The Life of Jem Belcher
Portals to Hell
6.3
Portals to Hell
Sitting in Bars with Cake
6.5
Sitting in Bars with Cake
The People We Hate at the Wedding
5.8
The People We Hate at the Wedding

Lists3

  • Action
    • 0 people
    • Public
    • Modified Nov 19, 2023
  • Jude Law, Joshua Pickering, Jacobi Jupe, Ever Anderson, Alyssa Wapanatâhk, and Alexander Molony in Peter Pan & Wendy (2023)
    Holidays
    • 5 titles
    • Public
    • Modified Nov 19, 2023
  • Jeeper Creepers Reborn
    • 0 people
    • Public
    • Modified Oct 12, 2022

Reviews132

tpsimpleman's rating
That Dirty Black Bag

That Dirty Black Bag

7.1
4
  • May 13, 2025
  • That Dirty Black Bag

    That Dirty Black Bag is a slow-burn, blood-soaked Western that delivers a gritty and atmospheric ride from start to finish. With strong nods to classic spaghetti Westerns, it builds its own identity through a haunting score, stylish visuals, and a morally gray world where vengeance overshadows justice. Douglas Booth brings intensity to Red Bill, a silent and tormented bounty hunter, while Dominic Cooper adds emotional weight as Sheriff McCoy, a man battling demons from a dark past. The show takes its time developing characters and tension, but the payoff is satisfying and often brutal. It's not just about shootouts and revenge-it's about the weight of guilt, the thirst for redemption, and how far a man will go when he's lost everything. The storytelling, though occasionally uneven, feels ambitious and rewarding. If you enjoy dark, character-driven Westerns with a cinematic edge, this series is worth saddling up for.
    American Primeval

    American Primeval

    8.0
    9
  • Feb 1, 2025
  • American Primeval

    If you're a fan of gritty, raw, and emotionally charged Westerns, American Primeval on Netflix is a must-watch. This limited series dives deep into the untamed American frontier, where survival is brutal, and freedom comes at a price. Incredible performances, stunning cinematography, and a story that keeps you hooked from start to finish. Highly recommended.

    Review:

    Netflix's American Primeval is a gripping, intense, and beautifully crafted Western that doesn't shy away from the harsh realities of frontier life. The story follows a mother and her son as they flee their past, forging a new path while encountering both the best and worst of humanity in a land where survival is never guaranteed.

    The cinematography is stunning, capturing the rugged beauty of the untamed West while immersing viewers in its unforgiving nature. The performances are top-notch, with every character feeling raw and real. The storytelling balances action, emotion, and historical grit perfectly, making it one of the most compelling Westerns in recent years.

    If you love Westerns with depth, authenticity, and heart, American Primeval is a must-watch. Netflix has truly delivered something special with this series.
    Christmas Eve in Miller's Point

    Christmas Eve in Miller's Point

    5.6
    6
  • Dec 14, 2024
  • Christmas Eve in Miller's Point

    Christmas Eve in Miller's Point (2024) is a quirky holiday dramedy directed by Tyler Taormina that has received mixed but intriguing reviews. Set in the mid-2000s, it follows a large family's last Christmas gathering at their longtime home before it's sold, blending nostalgia with hints of realism and sentimentality. The film excels at creating a genuine, lived-in family dynamic, with heartfelt moments balanced by understated humor. Critics have praised the naturalistic performances and the film's ability to avoid overly sentimental holiday tropes, capturing both the warmth and bittersweet realities of family life.

    However, some found its structure and tonal shifts uneven. Scenes outside the family home, particularly involving teenagers wandering town, feel less grounded and overly constructed compared to the richer, more nuanced moments within the house. While the film avoids becoming overly cliché, its meandering plot-more a collection of small moments than a cohesive narrative-may leave some viewers wanting more direction.

    Overall, Christmas Eve in Miller's Point offers a unique, slightly offbeat holiday experience, appealing to those who enjoy indie films with emotional depth, even if it occasionally feels uneven. If you're looking for something less conventional this holiday season, it's worth considering.
    See all reviews

    Check-ins7

    • The Amateur
      Jul 18, 2025
    • Animal Control
      May 8, 2024
    • Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
      Dec 3, 2023
    • Babylon
      Jan 25, 2023
    • Emancipation
      Jan 12, 2023
    See all check-ins

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