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The Lies We Tell Ourselves is an avant-garde treat about how it feels to be deep in the trenches of the creative process.

It's easy to see how people that don't share Lamberg's experiences could find this film unapproachable with its jarring, meta-ironic humour and surreal, postmodernist style. The film is constantly interrupted by the director herself with title cards, voiceover, and scene changes. At points, it's as if the audience is seeing the editing process happen live as the film unfolds. It never allows you to settle into a relaxed viewing. Alongside a score that wouldn't feel out of place in a horror movie, The Lies We Tell Ourselves paints a picture of the pressures Lamberg feels as she tries to juggle life and creativity. It's a film drenched in anxiety and self-doubt.

I was struck by just how painfully relatable the piece was when it came to demonstrating what it is to create art. More than a few times, I felt my own struggles and shortcomings reflected back at me. I have never made a feature film, but I am currently studying to become a professional writer. Lamberg is not afraid to be frank about the self-destruction that seems inherent with creating art; the constant strive to be better and the constant feelings of inadequacy when you can never quite get there.

One particular scene that stuck out to me was when Saara visits her friend for a drink. The friend brings up that she's concerned for Saara's professional reputation considering she is constantly posting nude scenes from her films online. Saara gets defensive. Creating these films is Saara's profession, and the friend doesn't understand that.

Throughout, we see the amount of effort Lamberg puts into her film in front of and behind the camera compared to the lack of support she gets from the people around her. We feel her frustration when the film industry refuses to help. In some ways, The Lies We Tell Ourselves is a darkly funny sketch show about fighting to get your work taken seriously. If your art is an extension of yourself and no one respects it, what does that say about how they see you?

If you fall on the red carpet, will anyone be there to catch you?

The Lies We Tell Ourselves is a unique visual experience and work of creative self-expression composed of fragmented pieces forced together that will either resonate with the audience or not. Regardless, it is certain to leave an impact. After watching the film and observing Saara Lamberg interact with an audience during a Q&A, I had to sit with the film overnight and take the time to unpick my thoughts. Instinctually, I found the work to be wholly evocative, but the exact feelings it provoked required a little more effort to decipher. So often in cinema, we understand the images before us through generic codes and conventions, suspending our disbelief in fiction and aligning our knowledge with facts presented in a documentary. As a mockumentary or work of fact-tion (fact and fiction) as Lamberg jokingly self-described the film, it completely disregards the expectations we have of cinema, culminating in something simultaneously challenging and stimulating.

The film is not quite a narrative but rather a tableau of the creative process during its various stages. It addresses the highs and lows of an artistic and free-spirited yet highly manufactured and deceptive existence through depictions of interactions with friends, colleagues, therapists, seedier industry individuals and above all, the self. With so many experiences shown, it is practically impossible to keep from getting lost within these nonlinear scenes but as the runtime progresses, this seems to matter less and less as this sense of being lost actualises into something enjoyable. The film is not without a grounding structure, utilising title cards to carry the viewer through the scenes. These felt particularly effective and induced interactivity, driving home the film's thought-provoking and humorous nature via truth or lie questions. While occasionally the pacing felt like it was dragging, Lamberg consistently remained one step ahead of the audience, addressing this potential boredom before the point of awkwardness. Consequently, the film mimics the nature of life itself, sometimes slow, sometimes repetitive, sometimes uncomfortable but often full of beauty.

Overall, The Lies We Tell Ourselves is a window into a mind that not even the occupant fully comprehends and that quality is what makes it so enticing. Lamberg, in her performance, is equal parts character and undeniably human, vulnerable and witty, messy yet charming. These attributes bleed into all aspects of the production, from the directing to the editing. The editing feels particularly noteworthy for its humorous deconstruction of the process, commenting on its tedious nature in a tongue-in-cheek manner, sure to strike a chord with those who have undertaken editing projects themselves. However, through its open addressing of the technical aspects of the film, it can make the piece more challenging as it is incomparable to others that endeavour to hide these elements from the viewer. This contributes to a deeply original viewing experience that I would wholeheartedly recommend anyone to partake in at least once. Ultimately, The Lies We Tell Ourselves is a refreshing watch that is best enjoyed when no longer attempting to view it through a conventional lens and just letting yourself be immersed in the imagery and charm of its creator.