imdbfan-3295193968

I despise Robert Eggers' "The Northman"-truly, I hate this movie with a passion. And yet, I can't deny it's a visual marvel, maybe one of the most beautifully shot films ever made, so I'm grudgingly giving it 6 stars. The cinematography is jaw-dropping: every frame is a brutal, primal painting-icy fjords, blood-soaked earth, and firelit faces that scream raw power. It's a feast for the eyes, no question, with a meticulous beauty that almost justifies its existence.

But that's where the praise ends. The pacing is a slog-slow, plodding, and borderline torturous. What could've been a gripping Viking revenge epic drowns in its own artsy muck, sucking out any shred of entertainment. The story's thin as gruel, and the deliberate tempo feels less profound and more like a punishment. I wanted to love it, but the boredom killed me long before the credits rolled. It's a gorgeous bore-a stunning shell with no soul. Six stars for the visuals alone, because I'm not blind, just miserable watching it.

Robert Eggers' Nosferatu is a haunting triumph-a dark, gloomy descent into gothic dread that's as distressing as it is gorgeous. Visually, it's a stunner, even with its oppressive palette of shadows and muted tones. The cinematography crafts a world where every flickering candle and skeletal silhouette feels alive with menace, turning bleakness into beauty. Compared to Eggers' The Northman, the visuals share that same raw, elemental power-think mist-choked landscapes and stark contrasts-but Nosferatu dials up the elegance. Where The Northman roared with visceral fury, this film slithers with a quieter, more suffocating intensity, its dark hues painting a canvas of despair that's somehow mesmerizing.

The story here outshines The Northman too-tighter, more focused, and dripping with existential weight. It's depressing as hell, sure, but that's the point: a slow bleed of hope that keeps you hooked. The pacing is a revelation-Eggers has shed the occasional slog of his past work for a rhythm that's deliberate yet relentless, pulling you deeper into its nightmarish grip. It's not just a vampire tale; it's a visual and emotional gut-punch, proving Eggers can wield darkness like a master painter. See it, feel it, and let it linger.