fauxfawkes
Joined Oct 2019
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Reviews12
fauxfawkes's rating
So, loved the first two, actually walked away from the 3rd. Knew it was going to be a rough watch but if I wanted to stare at a giant toy ad, an animal snuff film, or be reminded of how much most sentient bipeds suck I'd sign up for Twitter. I mean X. To summarize without giving away too much, eveyone is either hurt, angry, sad, dying, or remembering being all four. A friend of mine put it best, it's basically an hour and a half of crappy plot devices used to pull at your Heartstrings while Disney bleeds every last cent out of a dying franchise. Unless Marvel gets bought from the idiots destroying it at Disney (So, never.), this was my last Marvel movie. Way to ruin a fun series of movies and a franchise.
20 words or less? If you do drugs watch this movie. If you don't do drugs, do drugs and watch this movie. This is the quintessential movie for watching while not quite in complete control of your senses. Serious review? Where to begin? It's like if you took your Game Boy, wrapped it in a paper Gorbachev mask covered in LSD, and ate it while playing Spy Hunter and watching the kind of stuff that comes on at 2:30 on a Wednesday morning when you have insomnia. It's epic, it's weird, and if you like weird stuff, right up your alley. Also, I would like to add Daniel Tadesse freaking rocks! Trust me, this is an awesome film. Now go stay up waaaaaay too late and watch this movie.
Words fail me. I got to see this for free, and feel the most shocking thing in this movie was that those who paid to see it didn't riot afterwards for their money back. Watch the trailer and save yourself an hour and 30 some odd minutes. The whole movie is there. Charecters were one dimensional and aside from Bautista could have been replaced with a bag of stale popcorn, and still had the same impact. Plot was stupid and predictable. Honestly I thought The Happening was the stupidest movie M. Night Shyamalan had made, but this makes that look like a masterpiece. If you want some good old religious apocalypse silliness go watch The Seventh Sign (1988) or Red State (2011). At least those movies didn't take themselves so seriously.