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visualsbyalan's profile image

visualsbyalan

Joined Dec 2019
Welcome to the new profile
Our updates are still in development. While the previous version of the profile is no longer accessible, we're actively working on improvements, and some of the missing features will be returning soon! Stay tuned for their return. In the meantime, the Ratings Analysis is still available on our iOS and Android apps, found on the profile page. To view your Rating Distribution(s) by Year and Genre, please refer to our new Help guide.

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Ratings205

visualsbyalan's rating
Secrets of the Neanderthals
6.47
Secrets of the Neanderthals
Amityville II: The Possession
5.64
Amityville II: The Possession
The Amityville Horror
6.25
The Amityville Horror
Escape Room
6.46
Escape Room
Chronos
7.77
Chronos
Pig
6.96
Pig
Turtles Can Fly
8.08
Turtles Can Fly
The Invitation
5.36
The Invitation
Train to Busan
7.67
Train to Busan
Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.
6.47
Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.
The Divide
5.77
The Divide
X
6.57
X
Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla
6.65
Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla
Barbarian
7.08
Barbarian
Godzilla vs. Megaguirus
6.04
Godzilla vs. Megaguirus
Godzilla 2000
6.05
Godzilla 2000
The Mighty Kong
3.83
The Mighty Kong
Pearl
7.09
Pearl
Level 16
6.14
Level 16
Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla
5.84
Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla
Yes Man
6.86
Yes Man
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II
6.56
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
8.36
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Hush
6.67
Hush
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
8.19
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Reviews35

visualsbyalan's rating
Secrets of the Neanderthals

Secrets of the Neanderthals

6.4
7
  • May 6, 2024
  • Not So Secret Neanderthals Doc That Unveils a Complex Past

    Netflix's "Secrets of the Neanderthals" isn't exactly breaking new ground in documentary filmmaking. The familiar troupe of talking heads and sweeping nature shots is present. Yet, there's a certain charm to this BBC Studios production, fueled by a genuine fascination with our extinct cousins.

    The documentary hinges on a recent excavation at Shanidar Cave in the Kurdistan Region of Iraq. We follow a team of archaeologists, led by the enthusiastic Professor Graeme Barker, as they unearth a remarkably well-preserved Neanderthal skeleton - the first of its kind in the region for over 25 years. This discovery forms the narrative spine, allowing the exploration of Neanderthal life through the lens of this individual.

    What elevates "Secrets of the Neanderthals" is its focus on debunking outdated stereotypes. Neanderthals are no longer depicted as knuckle-dragging brutes. The film effectively highlights their complex tool use, elaborate burial rituals, and potential capacity for symbolic thought. This revised image is bolstered by impressive CGI reconstructions that breathe life into these ancient humans.

    However, the documentary falters slightly in its pacing. The Shanidar Cave excavation, while significant, can feel drawn-out at times. Additionally, some scientific explanations could have benefited from a touch more simplification for a broader audience.

    Overall, "Secrets of the Neanderthals" is a solid and informative documentary. It serves as a timely reminder that our understanding of human prehistory is constantly evolving. While not a groundbreaking masterpiece, it's an engaging watch for anyone curious about our enigmatic ancestors.
    Amityville II: The Possession

    Amityville II: The Possession

    5.6
    4
  • Apr 23, 2024
  • A Derivative Possession with a Few Surprises

    The Amityville Horror

    The Amityville Horror

    6.2
    5
  • Apr 23, 2024
  • A Haunting Bore

    "The Amityville Horror" suffers from a case of villain envy. The film sets the stage for a truly captivating antagonist - a malicious entity with an unshakeable will to inflict misery. Unfortunately, the horror on display here is more akin to a malevolent houseguest with perpetual indigestion than the demonic terror promised by the premise. Think Jack Nicholson in "The Shining" replaced by a grumpy ghost with a sensitive stomach.

    The scares themselves are as predictable as a Long Island Iced Tea recipe: slamming doors, spectral whispers, and rooms that feel like they're perpetually stuck in a meat locker (though, to be fair, that wouldn't be out of place in a Chicago winter). James Brolin and Margot Kidder portray the Lutz family, who spend the entirety of the film's runtime screaming and cowering in response to the house's paranormal peccadillos. While their terror is certainly believable, it grows monotonous after the umpteenth door slams or disembodied groan.

    The film is, of course, based on the supposedly true story of the Lutz family and their experiences in a haunted house on Long Island. Whether or not these events transpired exactly as depicted is irrelevant; "The Amityville Horror" fails to translate the narrative into anything remotely entertaining.

    Two hours of watching a family react to a series of spooky occurrences simply isn't enough to hold our interest. The formless entity lacks the menacing presence to be a truly compelling villain, the stakes remain frustratingly unclear, and the scares are derivative at best. Ultimately, "The Amityville Horror" offers nothing that we haven't seen done better in countless other haunted house films. For a genuinely frightening cinematic experience, look elsewhere.

    5.8/10.
    See all reviews

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