The-great-and-terrible-Phred
Joined May 2020
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Reviews15
The-great-and-terrible-Phred's rating
This is like somebody sat down with chat GPT to write a disaster film. Let's see we should have a daughter and she should be a lesbian. There should be the failed father. Can we blame the volcano on climate change? Let's do that.
That's not enough. Let's throw in an autistic kid. What else. I don't know show some turtles.
And we'll just have everybody mostly muddle around and a lot of useless relationship drivel.
There are a couple of Attractive people in this. But they're not that attractive and there's not that many of them. Not nearly enough to compensate for lack of interesting characters or characters that you could identify with or care about or value in any way whatsoever.
Seriously watch the old earthquake movie with Lorne Green. Even though it's dated you'll find it far more compelling.
Because this movie / mini series / Dreck is just a complete waste of your time.
That's not enough. Let's throw in an autistic kid. What else. I don't know show some turtles.
And we'll just have everybody mostly muddle around and a lot of useless relationship drivel.
There are a couple of Attractive people in this. But they're not that attractive and there's not that many of them. Not nearly enough to compensate for lack of interesting characters or characters that you could identify with or care about or value in any way whatsoever.
Seriously watch the old earthquake movie with Lorne Green. Even though it's dated you'll find it far more compelling.
Because this movie / mini series / Dreck is just a complete waste of your time.
If you've recently received a brain injury or perhaps have an IQ under 80 then you may be able to overlook the prodigious problems with this piece.
If someone who had no skill whatsoever writing a screenplay wrote One, this is what they might come up with.
PACING! The movie is slow and fast and irregular but none of these are done artfully or even with anything remotely resembling talent. Okay so we have this genie. So we need a backstory. Okay do the backstory. Okay so now we have to fast forward to present day.
Do you know how in say Lord of the Rings or King Kong 2005 or even the original Jaws that kind of tell the ghost story. The reason why this thing that which we're going to encounter is Dreadful and scary and foreboding. Well let's try for that but not do any of those things. So if there's a way we could do it without evoking any feeling whatsoever that would be great.
This is a horror movie so I guess there should be blood at points. We should come up with a handful of moderately creative demise's. Unfortunately we can't do that. So we're going to manage to make the parts where leaving the blood flies somehow tiresome.
Then there's the girl who is the hero. Because reasons. Anyway honestly it just goes down from there. There is nothing I can say about this that is any good at all. It is crappy writing. The acting is miserable the dialogue is horrible. The pacing is not of this Earth. This isn't so much a B Movie. It's more of a failed student film. Or if my five-year-old sat down to write a horror movie and then I just added in a little bit more schlock but didn't improve the dialogue at all.
Avoid this thing at all costs.
If someone who had no skill whatsoever writing a screenplay wrote One, this is what they might come up with.
PACING! The movie is slow and fast and irregular but none of these are done artfully or even with anything remotely resembling talent. Okay so we have this genie. So we need a backstory. Okay do the backstory. Okay so now we have to fast forward to present day.
Do you know how in say Lord of the Rings or King Kong 2005 or even the original Jaws that kind of tell the ghost story. The reason why this thing that which we're going to encounter is Dreadful and scary and foreboding. Well let's try for that but not do any of those things. So if there's a way we could do it without evoking any feeling whatsoever that would be great.
This is a horror movie so I guess there should be blood at points. We should come up with a handful of moderately creative demise's. Unfortunately we can't do that. So we're going to manage to make the parts where leaving the blood flies somehow tiresome.
Then there's the girl who is the hero. Because reasons. Anyway honestly it just goes down from there. There is nothing I can say about this that is any good at all. It is crappy writing. The acting is miserable the dialogue is horrible. The pacing is not of this Earth. This isn't so much a B Movie. It's more of a failed student film. Or if my five-year-old sat down to write a horror movie and then I just added in a little bit more schlock but didn't improve the dialogue at all.
Avoid this thing at all costs.
