Themreman
Joined Jun 2001
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Reviews1
Themreman's rating
I had seen this movie on the shelves of my local video store, stuffed b/w other sci-fi flicks (b/c it garnered an R rating and wasn't regulated to the back room). Obviously, it looked extremely laughable, but there wasn't any way in hell I was about to spend money to see it. Then I had the pleasure (or, displeasure, depending on which angle I think about it from) to catch in on Cinemax. Of course I realize it is soft-core porn, and I guess it places it above much of it's company, but it's still extremely nauseating.
I think it was fortunate that the movie involved aliens since we can be accepting of the fact that the actors cannot give their characters any emotion or substance ("They're aliens, aliens don't care about anything"). It's a very handy tool to cover up bad acting. It also seemed like the director didn't have quite enough footage and then decided to lengthen the film by splicing in footage from the original as flashback/delayed mental telepathy scenes (perhaps this is not the case, as I didn't see Femalien 1, but it certainly seemed like it).
Plus, all the characters didn't quite seem to be in on the script. I still don't know exactly what the name of the missing "femalien" is. Every character seemed to say it differently! Kara, Kira, Kari, Kerry? I guess the director thought they were mumbling sufficiently that the audience wouldn't notice (which they almost were).
Other laughable elements include:
-the all-in-one locator/transporter/communication device Xeda (I think that was her name) carried around that seemed to be nothing more than a portable cd player they picked up for about 19.99 (probably a big chunk of the overall budget)
-The strip club they visit seems surprisingly swinging despite it being about 10:00 a.m on a Tuesday.
-The completely immersive VR experience they have requires only a headset and gloves to accomplish...maybe they were touching themselves.
-The VR wrestling scene was obviously filmed in the director's back yard, complete with neighboring houses and a mess of overhead high tension wires.
-Mr. UFO Fanatic tracking the aliens must not think he could encounter them outside b/c he always enters a location mere seconds after they leave. Didn't he see them walking out when he walked in? And when he was constantly told they just left, why didn't he run out the door trying to catch them? I think he just wanted to impress his dumb girlfriend...he certainly didn't impress me.
-The "outtakes" during the credits...I never imagined there were takes they didn't use.
-The shortage of male extras...the same line-less guy is in the flashback massage sex scene and the VR fantasy water sex scene. I hope he got payed overtime!
Even the obviously, and poorly, simulated sex scenes were laughable. It struggles to be average in the soft porn category and by any other judgement it makes you marvel at it's crappyness.
I used to hold out hope, but this movie convinced me there isn't intelligent life in the universe.
I think it was fortunate that the movie involved aliens since we can be accepting of the fact that the actors cannot give their characters any emotion or substance ("They're aliens, aliens don't care about anything"). It's a very handy tool to cover up bad acting. It also seemed like the director didn't have quite enough footage and then decided to lengthen the film by splicing in footage from the original as flashback/delayed mental telepathy scenes (perhaps this is not the case, as I didn't see Femalien 1, but it certainly seemed like it).
Plus, all the characters didn't quite seem to be in on the script. I still don't know exactly what the name of the missing "femalien" is. Every character seemed to say it differently! Kara, Kira, Kari, Kerry? I guess the director thought they were mumbling sufficiently that the audience wouldn't notice (which they almost were).
Other laughable elements include:
-the all-in-one locator/transporter/communication device Xeda (I think that was her name) carried around that seemed to be nothing more than a portable cd player they picked up for about 19.99 (probably a big chunk of the overall budget)
-The strip club they visit seems surprisingly swinging despite it being about 10:00 a.m on a Tuesday.
-The completely immersive VR experience they have requires only a headset and gloves to accomplish...maybe they were touching themselves.
-The VR wrestling scene was obviously filmed in the director's back yard, complete with neighboring houses and a mess of overhead high tension wires.
-Mr. UFO Fanatic tracking the aliens must not think he could encounter them outside b/c he always enters a location mere seconds after they leave. Didn't he see them walking out when he walked in? And when he was constantly told they just left, why didn't he run out the door trying to catch them? I think he just wanted to impress his dumb girlfriend...he certainly didn't impress me.
-The "outtakes" during the credits...I never imagined there were takes they didn't use.
-The shortage of male extras...the same line-less guy is in the flashback massage sex scene and the VR fantasy water sex scene. I hope he got payed overtime!
Even the obviously, and poorly, simulated sex scenes were laughable. It struggles to be average in the soft porn category and by any other judgement it makes you marvel at it's crappyness.
I used to hold out hope, but this movie convinced me there isn't intelligent life in the universe.