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Imagine you are going to watch the latest James Bond movie ... and wait for James Bond to appear, but the movie only tells a (bad) story about John Boyd who happens to drive Bond's silver Austin Martin and uses his gadgets ... and funny enough Q, M and even Moneypenny pretend he's James while calling him John.

That's the same case here. Evidently Steve Rogers is Captain America, but for some reason someone else, who has been frankensteined together from several different 'superheroes', takes over the role - and even the name. Like someone equally disliked once said: "Weird, weird." So, what about the movie itself? Well, it's not the worst thing in cinemas at the moment .... but it's the worst that has come out of the super hero genre (yes, worse than The Marvels and the Eternals). It's a shoehorned story with a Captain America impersonator (who is neither Captain and who evidently hates America) and he fights a "bad orange man in the White House" for ... reasons .... Seriously?

Overbloated budget, unprecedented ammounts of re-shoots, delay after delay, horrendous test-screening one after another, and THAT'S what they came up with? A result worse than a regular 10 Million production of the SyFy channel !!

Hollyweird, stop it. Get some help.

When you watch this garbage you have to wonder if it was also massacred as so many other video game franchises by Uwe Boll ... and surprise, surprise, it WASN'T !!

Why do I say it's "garbage": Well, for a start don't call your movie "Borderlands" and say it's "inspired by the game franchise" when all that was inspired by it is the movie title and you throw around some in-game names. The characters don't feel and sound like the game characters and it seems to be a movie about "Borderlands 27" with most of the movie characters being closer to retirement (or past it) rather than being of the age their virtual counterparts are. Who the heck did that casting ??? Ah, yes, it's diverse and mainly female and has plenty of DLC side characters rather than the original main characters. And Tiny Tina in the game is cool, awesome, edgy, brutal, ruthless, a proper girl-boss ... in the movie she's just unfunny and rather pathetic and a somewhat girl-boss not because she deserves it, but because the script tells us she is ... sort of another failed Harley Quinn.

Talking about the casting ... What a waste of Cate "Galadriel" Blanchette !! That's all I have to say about her. Same goes for Jamie Lee Curtis ...

Kevin Hart is an Eddie Murphy ordered from Wish. Yes, he's black, yes, he does comedy, and no, he's not funny. Actually has never been ... nor edgy. Here again he does a family friendly Jumanji performance and is just, well, the usual unfunny and sometimes even obnoxious Kevin Hart.

Claptrap, aka. Jack "next time don't miss Trump" Black. I never got the hype around him and now he is just another has-been with serious health and hygiene issues. Play your music, play your roles, but be aware if you also want to be an activist you deter all those who don't agree with your opinion ... which is bad for business.

Wimmer and Ayer have one thing in common, other than beeing responsible for this dud: For every good movie they made they directed three bombs!

I will not comment on producer and main protagonist Jason "The Meg" Statham's performance which is EXACTLY the same one as in EVERY movie .... bee it as an Expendable, a Transporter, a Snatch, a Crank, a Shaw, a Meg, a Mechanic ... it doesn't matter, he can only play one role and one role only. Which has become dull and boring and even though he started pretty good in his early creer, he now only works from paycheck to paycheck and I wonder if he is these days still paid in US dollars and not in Yuan ? In any case I predict the same sad end of his career as Bruce Willis, Nic Cage, Danny lover, Mel Gibson or even Morgan Freeman.

Now were was I? Ah, yes, the boring CGI, no-blood violence, 1 page scenario, cringe comic book side caracters, non-threatening vilain John Wick ordered from Wish dot com movie called The Beekeeper. Yes, I understand that there was a strike, that untalented writers get/got replaced by ChatGPT, that the spectator's expectations have sunken as low as to think the Fast & Furious franchise is some sort of masterpiece and that over the last decade there were only a few exceptionnally good movies released - something that happened in the 80s several times PER YEAR - to a point where the Oscar ceremonies (that nobody watches any more) celebrate the least worst movies instead of the best.

That said, is this movie any good? No. Except if you like "so good it's bad movies", then you might actually have some fun watching this no-good-scenario no-good-acting no-good-FX no-good-fight-scenes no-good-one-liners no-vilain-vilains celluloid .... Is it really bad? No, not really either. It simply exists and aligns perfectly with previous Ayer or Wimmer not-really-good action movies like Tax Collector, Suicide Squad, Sabotage, or Ultraviolet. It's in a Galaxy Far Far Away from Equilibrium, Street Kings or End Of Watch.