shazzawatchestelly

The premise of sharks in the Seine does set an especially low expectation when such a modern classic like Sharknado have contributed so much to the Shark genre. Helpfully I had no expectations before watching this, having exhausted pretty much all of Netflix now.

I was pleasantly surprised! It delivered blood and gore, an enormous shark, a completely implausible storyline, annoying youngsters who won't listen, a smattering of science that was also implausible, annoying city officials, hot male and female leads for a bit of totty, and an environmental message underneath it all that was completely lost in the slasher shark action.

This was never going to be Oscar-worthy but it had a few twists and turns to keep you well entertained. Paris looked fabulous as always. At times I wasn't sure if it was a comedy or a thriller - I had to chuckle everytime there was a menacing dorsal fin shot.

Most surprising of all was the unexpected ending. The writers must have had a blast with the plot, which was no doubt written over several cases of Côtes du Rhône.

If you park any expectations, because this IS a shark movie after all, then you will find it generally entertaining, as well as wondering what you just watched.

I am wondering if any of the Olympic triathletes have seen it...?

I found myself watching Maestro in Blue because I seem to have watched most of Netflix now, including the show about sharks in Paris (which I need to review), and the latest series of Bridgerton was over all too quickly. Netflix threw this one up and I figured I hadn't seen any Greek shows before and the Greek islands looked far sunnier than the dark midwinter. I don't know what I was expecting, especially after sharks in Paris.

It seems to be moving very slowly. We only seem to be given a small reveal of whatever is going on at the end of each episode in between a lot of context and backfilling.

The scenery is utterly gorgeous and literally sells the Greek Islands as exactly where I would rather be. The people are beautiful. There is a smattering of sexual tension and lusty glances. There is inter generational dramatics, interpersonal dynamics and wistful memories. There's inappropriate liaisons. There's some lovely music. It all sounds like the makings of a few great winter nights in.

But it is really quite slow, like as slow as Virgin River and that level of slow was acceptable when we were all laid up with COVID with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

I'm now 6 episodes in and it's washing over me like gentle Ionian waves, but it doesn't seem to be progressing towards any sort of dramatic denouement.

I suspect I will keep watching until it inspires me to book a Greek Island holiday, or Netflix offers up some new viewing fodder. It's inoffensive and nice to look at. The music is great.

File it under easy listening.

I'm wondering if Chat gpt wrote this off a brief to make it sort of like a Star Wars story, include some Vikings, a Lara Croft type female lead, South African baddies, Black Panther, Tarzan, Chinese action movie heroine and Sons of Anarchy (if it was in Northern Ireland and just to stack the movie with some totty!), then add in an evil general with great cheekbones modelled on the worst of 3rd reich.

Mental concept! Which is why this movie really didn't seem to go anywhere most of the time while they rode across space collecting various odds and sods only to end up with a final battle straight out of a gaming programme and some cheesy dialogue.

So yeah, that's pretty much it.