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Reviews
Karmina (1996)
I have been trying to get this movie for decades!
This is a movie we used to watch as a family over and over again. Maybe our family was a bit progressive, but we even let the little kids watch it. Doesn't matter if it was the first time or the 10th time, we left uproariously at the Antics and the jokes. Some of the jokes are sly little index, some of them we're so broad as the border on buffoonery. But the movie is so very clever! It pokes fun at a number of tropes, including the Canadian mythos, vampire films, stereotypes about male and female, authoritarian figures, and so on. It never once occurred to me that it would not be widely available ! If anybody knows where I can find it on DVD or streaming, I would be most appreciative!
Naeil: Someday, Because of You (2022)
this doesn't just tug the heartstrings....
... it installs them on a Les Paul Special then uses them to rip out Pantera's "Domination". It hits even harder because the whole episode is handled so delicately. There's no attempt at "seasoning" the drama - when a dog is lost, we don't need to see how people react. We know how we would feel and how we would react if that was our beloved pet or child. The episode literally uses our own emotions and feelings against us.
The dog is phenomenal - exquisitely trained and whoever edited the dog's scenes was a master of the craft. Typically, you watch the animal and some human explains what the dog is thinking/saying, etc, or there's a voiceover or whatever. Not this time! The dog very clearly emotes his lines and what the dog can't say, the scene editing does.
There is so much pro-animal, pro-humane content going on here - if you don't love dogs after this episode, you are disqualified as a human being and maybe should reconsider having children.
The end scene left me bawling out loud, even though it was sweetly joyful. I'm literally tearing up thinking about it as I write this.
I've watched this episode about a half-dozen times. I made my teenaged daughter watch it with me (nothing like a good ol' mutual ugly-cry session for parent-child bonding!).
The Orville: All the World Is Birthday Cake (2019)
premise is excellent, BUT
In the prison camp, the plan to get the main gate open is a running gun battle?? What about taking the uniforms off the guards they knocked out by stealth and then, i dunno, taking out the floodlights?
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Lush, beautiful film that could have used a bit less dignity
Watched Shang-Chi and the Ten Rings - despite the movie title sounding like one of those 1940s black and white "Detective Dee and the...." types, the film is visually stunning: stunning scenery, magical creatures, gorgeous costumes, no-holds-barred fight scenes that are as much dancing as fighting, you name it.
I do have issues, however. The first is that I think Marvel was so worried about offending China or the Chinese people that the film comes across as very safe. Far too much on its dignity. If the film were a job interview, it would have been for the position of senior Vice President at the Chinese equivalent of the Louvre. Even Akwafina, who I usually count on to deliver a raunchy belly-laugh of a good time, was very composed and restrained.
I'm also wondering why they bothered including Shang-Chi's sister. She doesn't really *do* anything except be moody and resentful for the majority of the film. Even in the after-scene, she's not there. As far as I can tell, the entire point of her inclusion in the film is to get Shang-Chi to Macau (bonus points for it not being the overused Hong Kong or Singapore!).
Dignity or not, there was plenty of opportunity where they could have upped the humour quotient. The Chinese people are dignified - famous for it - but they also have a ribald and sophisticated sense of humour. I would have *loved* to see sly digs at Western culture, more commentary on differences between East and West (you can't tell me a guy spends his life in an isolated Chinese compound or in the States then just seamlessly segues to Macau's urban lifestyle!), that kind of thing - more than the stereotypical "When are you getting married? When are you going to get a real job?" conversation. Basically, they could have really *done* something with this movie, over and above a superhero story.
One thing I *really* want to see is a guide to the creatures we see in the film. They are so beautifully rendered! The Fu Dogs, for example - I was mesmerized watching the tiny little movements - ear flicks, muscle twitches as if reacting to a bug bite, the movement of the fur and mane: magnificent! But there were so many others I have no clue what they were other than they looked like Chinese mythological creatures and I would love to know more about them.
Murdoch Mysteries (2008)
This is one of my absolute favourite shows ever
I literally ran the entire 13 seasons (2008 to present) then started over again.
I love this show. I've had the thrill of seeing them film (Julia and Murdoch's wedding - filmed in Guelph, Ontario, in the church right across from the courthouse I was attending. I saw the costumes up close: not a zipper or velcro fastener in sight - the costumers i saw were all totally legit! I asked a woman how she stopped from sweating, she laughed and said ruefully "You don't".
I also saw the 100th episode screening at CBC studios with my dad. He was totally chuffed! The actors are all so dynamic and vibrant in real life! And yes, they were just as goodlooking as they appear on the show.
One of my favourite bits is when they say things like "Oh, she's from Coboconk" (because I took part in the Northern Lights Strongman competition in Coboconk) or "Etobicoke!? I'll book train tickets" (when I can drive there now from Brampton in twenty minutes) or "She lives in a rooming house over on Shuter Street" (which starts at the Eaton Centre and runs east past Saint Michael's hospital today).
If this show were food, it would be comfort food. A rich, savoury beef stew with good-sized chunks of meat and tasty mixed vegetables and potatoes all held together by a rich gravy. Every spoon is similar, but uniquely different in the flavour because of the different mix.
As for you lot complaining about "amateur" acting etc? To that, I say: "Thirteen years". BITE ME.
Aug 28 2021 - adding this: noticing a lot of whining about "political correctness". How on earth do you think social attitudes change?!? It's not like the entire population wakes up and says "Oh! Monday! Time to correct our attitudes!" No: social attitudes change because more and more people begin to question and examine their own thinking and behaviour towards others. It isn't a drop off a cliff face - it's the tide coming in: low water that creeps forward up the beach until until it covers everything. From that aspect, the show is absolutely correct because the turn of the century was a time of social upheaval and people standing up for what is right.
Blood+ (2005)
i don't know if there will be spoilers, i just do it anyway. cya, y'know?
it wasn't bad enough for me to shut off, but it wasn't good enough for me to actually watch it. i had it on the monitor next to me and honestly, i think i actually watched about 5min out of every 2 or 3 episodes, yet was able to follow the story perfectly.
what is right: cool concept. kai has a pleasant voice. haji is hot.
what is not: where to start!??
first off, have they never heard of background music? the music in here is minimal, used strictly in the same way as a laugh track - to let you know that this scene is actually pretty dramatic so you can stop laughing now.
the art: two-dimensional and pretty rudimentary, really. artists need to learn how to draw noses - Saya and others were often drawn with noses cut so short they looked like skull-faces.
credibility: are there seriously - SERIOUSLY - no people with epicanthic folds in all of japan and Vietnam? why do they all have Japanese names if they're all white, blonde, blue-eyed, etc?
the voices: dreadful. i was on the 8th episode before i discovered that the reason the German accent was so awful was because the character was, in fact, french. a million foreign accents tossed into a polyglot salad and not a one of them done right. the Jamaican accent was particularly painful - it takes more than using a Swedish Chef accent and throwing in the word "mon" at the end of every sentence to make a Jamaican accent.
the storyline: okay, i'm sorry, but that bit with riku? that was just pervy. lay off the perv, guys - i don't care if you're Japanese, different culture, blah blah, you're marketing over here, now.
the blue roses: .... i have no idea what that was all about.
haji: halfway through the series, i was actually speaking to him saying "omg, dude! grow a pair!". it got very tedious listening to him pledge his undying love again and again and again with those mopey, soulful gazes that she'd return with eyes brimming with all the love and affection of a dead salmon.
saya: whiny, whimpering little sot.
i changed my mind - from a 4, i'm making this a 2. not bad enough to be actually awful, but not good enough to watch, definitely not for a second time.
Legion (2010)
not much i can add, except....
WHY did they have to do "Terminator 2" at the start and "The Lion King" at the end!??? i was actually okay with this movie - i don't like horror films so i switched visuals to something else *coughbubbleshootercough* during the slasher sequences but the fight scenes were great to watch and the visuals were fabulous. loved the innovative use of the wings.
setting may have been "Tremors" but the storyline was sufficiently interesting. at least it wasn't set in new york or los angeles again.
but WHY WHY WHY the lion king!? seriously.
i'd buy it but i wouldn't pay full retail.
Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (2008)
only one serious hole in the logic kinda spoiled it a bit
cause it's a HUGE hole: amritsar is the heart of punjab. NO - repeat NO - married woman is going to be cruising about town on the back of a bike and spending the day and going out to dinner with a single man who is not related to her! they would have done better to locate the movie in mumbai - slightly more cosmopolitan - or even out of India altogether. New York, perhaps, or even London, England. heck, London, Ontario would've been a better choice.
aside from the plot hole big enough to drive an Ice Road truck through, the movie is wonderful - tender and sweet.
SRK does a lovely job of portraying a quiet, mild man driven to extremes by panic when his lovely wife tells him she must "kill the old taani" and become a new one in order to be his dutiful wife. he's a nerd - he knows he's a nerd - but he wants her to remain the carefree, vivacious, outspoken girl she was the day he fell in love with her, hence the creation of his alter-ego, "raj", a "cool", "macho" "dude" (who really isn't - *wince*).
anushka sharma does a great job (esp for a debut!) but she's a bit "jennifer aniston" to me - there were times when i'm guessing she was supposed to look thoughtful or pensive but came across as calculating. but hey - who am i to judge?
Hudson Hawk (1991)
Maybe the critics should've smoked crack...
You know what? I'm giving this a 10 out of 10 and I seriously regret not seeing it in the theatre.
I have no clue what crack the critics were smoking - or maybe they'd stopped smoking the day they saw this film.
One word: it is FUN! Everybody is clearly having the time of their lives playing their various over-the-mountain-top roles - even the straight roles and bit players are OTT (check out the waiter in Rome when Hawk asks for ketchup and then check out how he serves it!).
Heck, even The Guy On The Donkey has a featured role!
It's not cinematic art. It's not Die Hard (which was probably a relief for Bruce!) It's not Four Weddings and a Funeral. It's not a "statement about disaffection and disorientation in today's dystopian society".
It's "don't-eat-popcorn-cause-you'll-choke-to-death-laughing" FUN.
Loved it.
(and to those whingeing it was cruel? Bunny deserved his ball-ball - even Cesar couldn't straighten out that psycho-mutt with the bad 'fro!)
Almighty Thor (2011)
Asgard, we have a problem!
okay, i'm 17min into the film and "BalDEER" (like... it's BalDUR?) and Odin lie dying, slain by the "demon" Loki.
HOGWASH!
{if i have to hear "my son" one more time, i swear i will rip out my ears - please, Odin, shut up and die NOW!} anyway, Loki is not "evil" - he is "chaotic". Loki is capable of evil - as in the real story of Baldur, where Loki deliberately caused the death of the most beloved of the gods by use of a sprig of holly - but he is also capable of great kindness. it just depends on his whim and mood at the moment.
i saw none of that madcap whimsy in the Richard Grieco character. Richard Grieco seemed to be channeling the Dark Emperor by way of Voldemort. and his voice is annoying too - sounds like he's reading from a teleprompter. why did they give him "dragonball z" slash "naruto" hair? "your father spoke to you with his last breath... i can smell it".... uuuuh.... WHAT!?? someone got paid to write that crap!? where can i get one of these jobs??
the demon dogs - cool concept, totally lame execution. why do they look Egyptian?
oh - hang on - some chick has just shown up to save Thor's butt....why is she Portuguese? oh, yeah - arms like pipe-cleaners, she's a real warrior i can tell *scoff*
why is Thor shouting again? he's always shouting. jeez, guy, shut UP and grow a pair and a spine! and get that docile look off your face before i slap it off.
the music sounds like an RPG - ah - special whiz-y whir-y sound effects, growling, sounds like a battle arena! whee! oh. another yelling match followed by "warrior skills for dummies". i find it hard to believe that Thor grew to ... i dunno, 25, looks like?... and doesn't know how to use a sword (clue, dude: hold the pointy end away from you and attempt to insert into enemy before they return the favour!).
okay, i'm going to go use "Hot Fuzz" to scrub this movie off the inside of my skull.
Twisted History: Vampires (2005)
senationalist more than educational
it leads straight into the sexual aspect of social vampirism and goes into detail on the different types and aspects of "games", which was irritating. i would have preferred a more logical approach: origins of the vampire myth, possible bases in reality (such as porphyria, a disease that produces symptoms that pretty much cover all the vampire symptoms), and so on.
instead, we get the usual mix of the sensationalist and the de rigueur: vampire sex, bram stoker, vlad dracul, countess bathory, biblical references to vampires, vampire trials, how "rising from the dead" used to happen (basically, he wasn't necessarily dead when he was buried), human sacrifice, animal "vampires", and today's traditions surrounding or involving vampires (ie, pumpkins - supposedly a food source for vampires - and various death celebrations around the world).
one of the "experts" cited states that she has been assured by doctors that humans cannot digest blood - a statement that is patently false (there are many cultures whose survival depended on blood, including the famous Mongol Horde that conquered most of the known world of the time). i found it annoying at the least, reprehensible at the worst, that the documentary allowed such statements to stand unchallenged and uncorrected. it makes me question the validity of the rest of the show.
disappointing, really - long on titillation, shock value, and regurgitating the well-known, short on veracity and anything new.
Tulsi: Mathrudevobhava (2008)
bloody depressing!
as far as setting goes, i agree with the previous poster - the landscape is breath-taking.
the problem is i watch movies to get away from my depressing life. while not *quite* as "train wreck" (iow, can't look away even though you're afraid you'll actually see Something) awful, "Tulsi" just made me want to slit my wrists.
i found the plot very predictable, to be honest. surely there could have been a more logical way to wrap things up instead of the overblown "barbara cartland" ending? not that anybody who wasn't blind or drunk didn't see it coming.
as far as social commentary goes: this film says nothing at all. it's a mishmash of socially idealistic concepts that simply don't happen in real life and especially not to lower-caste widows in rural India.
Bhool Bhulaiyaa (2007)
***fantastic****
first off, i'm white - straight up Wonder Bread. my experience with Hindi films and bollywood started on march 17th, 2006 when i met my husband - he's Hindu (... well, duh, lol).
up to now, my opinion of bollywood in general has been pretty much a couple of gems in a huge pile of... well, "not gems", particularly when dealing with the old films. not much by way of dancing technique, even (sorry, don't shoot me, just my white bread opinion) the vaunted hema malini, to me, does little more than jump around shaking her anatomy and flapping her arms about. a lot of the classic songs, i can't tell one from the next because they're all sung by lata mangeshkar. while she is a fantastic singer, i really wish songwriters would have taken the opportunity to showcase her voice instead of just having her do the same 6-note riff over and over. like i said, it's only imo.
what a fantastically terrific exception is Bhool Bhulaiyaa! it's got all the best parts of the old Indian classic movies: lavish, luxurious sets and costumes; huge crowds that pop up out of nowhere for various odd and assorted reasons; extraneous music numbers (no particular reason why, but we'll both just jump on a bicycle that popped up out of nowhere and weave madly through the countryside singing); great dance numbers featuring crowds of ppl that were nowhere to be seen before and probably won't be seen in the rest of the film.
special mention: the dance scene at the court of the evil king - i can't tell you how many times i've watched that just so i could wallow in the purity of line and the sheer crispness and clarity of expression. that duo is surely a world-class dancing pair because they are SO precise and they positively reek of expertise. the term "dancing gods" keeps coming to mind.
on the other hand, while it has all the wonderful OTT-ness of a classic bollywood film of the 50s and 60s, the music has been updated - the lyrics are typically incomprehensible romantic weirdness ("i am yours, only yours, you weave through my breath" - i mean, hunh!?) but the music is modern and fresh. the characters are also a wonderful blend of high camp, high drama, and modern minimalism. i really enjoyed the scene that's reminiscent of a joke featuring a guy talking on his cell phone while a girl behind him keeps answering back thinking he's talking to her. oh - except in BB, the guy's not wearing anything and the girl is in the shower stall while he's outside.
what i really like is that the movie doesn't actually EXPLAIN anything. oh, explanations are given on all sides but what's really fantastic is how it doesn't slight the old ways and put Modern Science up on a pedestal, nor does it reject the new ways in favour of ancient tradition. you make your own determination as to the truth - no matter which way you see it, it will be correct.
thriller, psychological drama, romantic thriller, horror, comedy, comic tragedy, chick flick, action film - no matter what your buzz, you'll find it in Bhool Bhulaiyaa!