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Novacain2006
Reviews
Evil Lives Here: The Killer Speaks (2023)
A Far Cry from the Original ELH
As a longtime fan of the first Evil Lives Here and lesser fan of it's 1st spin off ELH Shadows Of Death I gave this one a go in hopes it could create some of the same vibe and pull me in like it's predecessors. Sadly it didn't even come close and left me a bit confused as to what it's intended purpose was in the end. Whereas the original ELH series itself descended from being so engaging by following the victim's stories to shamefully stooping way down and starting to follow the accomplishes and assisting perpetrators who committed various heinous acts on innocent victims themselves. This series seems intent on trying to get us to sympathize with the monsters right out of the gate. It seems the desperation to have stories for new episodes has sidelined the producer's better judgement giving us fragmented stories that don't play out in a progressive, linear fashion but rather bounce around and continue to manipulate the viewer to stay "neutral" in their judgement of the monsters who perpetrated the acts contained within. The insistence of showing the "behind the scenes" footage of the person being interviewed losing their cool and walking out of the interview has become cliche and downright callous. The constant ZOOMING in on every tear shed seems gratuitous and heartless. I never tuned into ELH to revel in the misery of these victims. I tuned in because I related to many of these stories myself after living through a very similar situation. But with this 3rd incarnation I feel the exploitation of these victimized people and the chance given to the antagonist to redeem themselves is just not entertainment. It's contradictory and leaves the viewer feeling soiled by the entire experience. I don't want to sympathize with a murderer. And I don't want to see victims poked and prodded to tears to satisfy the producer's lust for pain on camera. This show has lost the point of the original ELH completely. And I hope it doesn't last very long because it's complete waste of time that leaves the viewer wondering which side they're expected to stand on at the end. At least in the original the bad guy/girl was the villain and the antagonist was the survivor your heart went out to. That doesn't happen here at all.
Bunker (2021)
A Great Example in how NOT to make a Documentary
There are standard guidelines when making a documentary for public consumption and this boring attempt misses every single one of them. Less an actual documentary and more just a series of lazily edited together clips that barely create a narrative this waste of 90 minutes can't even be called a film "experience" but rather an ingratiating, sleep inducing, time wasting series of clips that aren't half as interesting as watching paint dry. Long (and I mean LONG) periods of time go by with absolutely no narration, no information, explanation nor reason for being. They just expect you the viewer to know what's happening even though it becomes painfully obvious that the MAGA survivalists featured have no clue whatsoever themselves. When people do talk it's an incoherent mashup of drawls with very little intellect pushing survivalist, paranoid delusional views that couldn't stay afloat in a teaspoon. A great example of "Just because you have a camera that doesn't mean you can make an actual movie." Watch this if you're bored, can't fall asleep or are so lost that every time it snows you run in circles screaming the sky is falling. Whew.....
Meet, Marry, Murder Hosted by Michelle Trachtenberg (2021)
Great Show! Michelle needs to get it together tho.
While I love shows like this one and have most of them on my queue this one has grabbed my attention for several reasons. The layout is a bit more fun, the approach to material that has already appeared on every other true crime show is a little more fresh and Michelle Trachtenburg, who I've loved since Harriet the Spy and then her time on Buffy as Dawn. Unfortunately that's where my admiration for MT has recently stopped. It's painfully obvious that she's got either a substance abuse issue or alcoholism has stepped in. Watching her desperately trying to get through each narrative is painful. The slurred speech, glazed over eyes and constant straining to read one sentence clearly just hurts to observe. She looks painfully thin and just moments from collapse. I love her work and hope she gets this all worked out before it's too late.
Bornless Ones (2016)
Just Watch Evil Dead Instead
Saying this movie is "Inspired By The Evil Dead" is way beyond kind and misleading. This movie is literally a rip off of every single element from ED except each thing is executed with no style whatsoever and most end up falling flat and eliciting laughter instead of scares. Stabbed with a pencil? Yup. Someone falls down steps into a basement? Check! Someone says "SHE TRIED TO KILL ME!!!" Checkerroo... It just goes on and on with so many facets bordering on idiocy. Like the central story of a paraplegic young man who suddenly talks and walks much to everyone's...surprise except the viewer. Because despite being unable to move for years he has the build of a high school running back and muscular arms which would be thin and atrophied if this was remotely real. These people say stupid things, do stupid things and regardless of the situations they're put through remain shiny, primped and pretty throughout the entire film. One guy even gets stabbed through his eye, into his brain and 2 minutes later is acting like nothing happened at all. This movie has all the elements of a decent horror film but the execution, terrible dialogue, low rent acting and fx on top of a cliche ridden script which is nothing more than a Sam Raimi "lite" bargain basement Evil Dead knock off full of annoying, 1 dimensional characters just makes it a tedious watch. By the time it was over I didn't care if any of them survived and actually preferred then all NOT. Unlike the Evil Dead which I've watched 100s of times this turkey won't ever get a second viewing from me.
Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild! (2008)
Completely Misses The Mark On All Levels....
This movie is a travesty and should have never been made. The original "Another Gay Movie" was a charming, fun, hysterical, heartfelt movie that just gets better with each viewing. THIS movie sadly misses every point that made the original so good and a forever classic. Corny, Crass, Cheesy, Tasteless, Annoying and Offensive are just some of the adjectives that come to mind when I (unfortunately) have to reflect on this abomination. If you're a fan of the first movie do yourself a favor and just avoid tarnishing your memory of it by inflicting this on yourself. This isn't a movie. This is punishment.
I Care a Lot (2020)
This Director should NEVER be allowed to make another film.
What started out as a good premise, good cast and good 1st 1/2 hour quickly spiralled into the most anger inducing, annoying, ridiculous and downright stupid movie I've ever endured in my 52 years of existence. The team... (Screenwriter, Director and Producers ) that delivered this atrocity should never be allowed to make another movie. EVER!! Clocking in at nearly 2 hrs this was painful in so many ways. It could have easily been trimmed down to 90mins by removing the implausibilities and dumb as hell and unnecessary plot twists that did nothing for me but anger me and cause me to grind me teeth. The ending could have been richly satisfying had they followed the setup they gave in the first 1/4 of the movie. But NO! They refused to deliver any satisfaction to the viewer and literally tortured you for sticking with it in hopes of an acceptable resolution... THAT NEVER ARRIVES. The "ending" which is supposed to see the villain receive payback is just too late and too miniscule and really feels like it was tacked on in hopes of providing a hint of the relief to the pissed off viewers that the movie promises at but never delivers. I cannot stress how much a truly hated this movie, it's characters, it's direction and it's execution. This is a great example of how to punish an audience for taking a chance on your movie. If I could give it minus stars it still wouldn't be enough.
The Penthouse (2021)
Reaches a new low....
I don't write many reviews but this movie was so bad in so many ways right from the first frame and opening credits that I had to chime in. Immediately the 1st thing you notice is that the footage running under the opening credits looks like washed out stock footage from the 80s. Sadly this isn't the case and whoever was manning the camera had no idea what he/she was doing. In fact, most of the movie looks this way. Soft picture, dull colors and uncontrolled lighting that seems way too harsh most of the time... From scene to scene the overall look is so inconsistent it just kept me from ever actually caring about the storyline. The acting was also entry level amateur, the cinematography boring and the bargain basement cast of washed up has-been D-movie actors just didn't help at all. This kind of movie may be for some but was just a wasted night for me. I'd call it an exercise in mediocrity except that would be an undeserved compliment.
Broken Poet (2020)
A Broken Mess
I have no idea where these 10 star reviews came from but this mess of a movie certainly doesn't deserve them. This film is barely watchable beyond 5 minutes due to the terrible, wooden acting and awful dialog not to mention the overwhelming feeling you're watching someone's first attempt at film making. But the blame can't fall only on the acting. The editing is atrocious with no sense of rhythm and takes that could have been trimmed of several frames to create flow are left complete so conversations have a "stop and start" vibe that feels fake and unreal. The main actresses voice is dubbed in and it's so uneven and distracting it just kept taking me out of the movie. The continual over use of every overwrought cliche in the artsy director's playbook is distracting and transparent leaving this mess feeling more like an art school student's C grade project instead of an experienced director's output. People don't act like this. People don't talk like this. And good director's don't direct like this. All in all this is an amateur attempt at filmmaking that falls horribly short and is a cringefest to endure until the end. Even for a music lover like myself this was too much of too little to find anything redeeming in.
Hate Crime (2005)
A must see film for people from all walks of life.
I wasn't sure what to expect when I picked this movie up at my local vid outlet. I must admit that I'm not a fan of most "gay cinema" (even though I'm a 37 y/o gay male), and find it to be mostly filled with bad acting, bad production and too many political/social agendas preaching about "equality and blah blah blah" and overloaded with cheesy stereotypes. Fortunately that was NOT the case with this incredible film. The acting, production, cinematography, storyline and casting were all dead-on. No stereotypes here. No disco dollies, no exstacy queens, no group of bar hopping, sex seeking lushes with gym buffed bodies on display. This was a film dealing with people in the 2000's, living in a world with a supposedly increased tolerance level and how even though the majority may speak loudly, sometimes even the smallest kink can cause the most damage. I was riveted and moved to tears, taken on an emotional roller-coaster ride that left me angry in some parts, crying in others and shouting in support of what was happening in others. I rarely (if ever) have found many movies to move me the way this one did. Not a pity story. Not a "Gay" story. This is a human drama, a thriller with twists you can't see coming and an ending that leaves you with the NEED to talk to someone about it. SEE THIS FILM, and tell someone else to see it. With all the empty Hollywood blockbusters coming out, this film stands above them all by having a cast of fine actors, fully realized, 3 dimensional characters, and a storyline that's completely believable. Lose yourself for 90 minutes and let this edge of your seat movie take you away..... Just have some Kleenex handy. You'll need it.