andy-oh-efff's reviews

Possibly my favourite Christopher Nolan film, Memento follows Lenny (Guy Pearce) who is hunting his wife's killer. Thing is, he suffers from short term memory loss, and after a few moments can't remember anything recent that happened. He gets around this by tattooing evidence he finds onto himself, but as the story unfolds and he finds he can't trust anyone... a terrible secret will be revealed....

Its pretty fair to say that Memento is incredible. Awesome performances, with a bonkers story that is told in reverse and forward at the same time - I can't get my head around how you would even begin to write something like this. Engaging, emotional... and with a superb final reveal, this is easily in my top 20 films of all time. Essential viewing.

Remarkable 19th century thriller following two rival magicians who will go to murderous lengths to outdo each other. Featuring superb performances by both Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman, and the twisting and turning plot will definitely keep you on your toes. Are you watching closely? Because you need to...

Willy's Wonderland follows an unnamed loner who damages his car while travelling through a rural town. The local garage offers to fix it, but with limited outside world contact, no internet and no cash... he is unable to pay for repairs. That is, unless he helps out by working a night shift as the janitor at an abandoned local funhouse - called Willy's Wonderland. Fix the place up, protect it from break-ins, be sure to take regular breaks... and your car will be ready in the morning. Of course, he soon finds out this place has more going on than it seems...

Despite me seeing this after Five Nights at Freddy's, it actually came out 2 years earlier.... and what can I say apart from this is exactly the sort of thing that takes that idea and runs with it to great effect. Serving as more a horror/comedy of sorts rather than playing it straight, the basic idea is the same, i.e. Night worker gets trapped in a kids fun place with creepy killer robots. But wheres FNAF is creepy and delves into a tragic backstory and trauma, this take is, well quite frankly absurd.

It's hard to know where to even start with this, but can I just say that Nicolas Cage is Nicolas Caging here harder than Nicolas Cage has ever Nicolas Caged before. Not a single word is spoken by this mysterious ex-soldier, but his dead-pan unfazed delivery is absolutely perfect as we follow him through this absolute carnage fueled farce. There was a distinct turning point for me, when he has a stand-off against one of the robots, kicks the juke-box - and then proceeds to absolutely beat seven bells out of this thing all while 'head shoulders knees and toes' was playing in the background. I honestly don't think I've laughed so hard at a scene in all my life. From that point on, I was sold.

The whole film is full of stupid comedy like that, which perfectly juxtaposes against the extreme violence that is also on offer. Now, obviously it's not going to win any awards or anything, but man did I have a good time with this film. It's not the best film objectively, with a basic story, predictable scares and shallow characters, but it just doesn't matter. It made me laugh. A lot. And to that end, I'd highly recommend checking this out if you just want to kick back, turn your brain off and bask in the glorious nonsense that Willy's Wonderland delivers in spades...

This 5th entry into the Die Hard franchise follows John McClane as he discovers that his son Jack has been arrested in Moscow. Unaware that Jack is actually a highly trained CIA operative that is on an undercover mission to stop a nuclear weapons heist, John turning up actually compromises the mission. Initially furious at his Dad for ruining years of set-up, things take a turn when the mission goes in an unexpected direction, forcing father and son to work together to prevent a global catastrophe...

I put off watching this at the time because all the reviews were completely terrible and I'd rather spend my time watching good films (he says, literally just after watching Osiris (2025)), but since this will likely now be the final Die Hard film (unless they reboot it) I decided to give it a chance. And I must say... yes it's not great but I don't think it's as bad as I was led to believe.

Lets start with the positives. Some of the action scenes are pretty good and entertaining to watch, and the subversion during the finale was kinda interesting, unexpected and deserved. Anything else? Errr....

For me there were 3 big problems with this film. Firstly, John McClane seems out of place. It's like they wrote a Russian spy/heist/action movie, and then got the Die Hard rights at the last minute and just slapped John McClane awkwardly in there. He's like an overbearing parent who just hangs around getting in the way while his kid tries to have fun. Hmm, perhaps that was the point...

Secondly, the dialogue is AWFUL. Completely unnatural in many scenes and there are goofy overdubs galore that don't fit the action at all. There are literally sections where quippy John McClane quotes are inserted in and Bruce isn't even moving his mouth! Yikes!!

But by far the worst thing is the CGI. The special effects here are so bloated, so over the top and nonsensical that some parts of this movie literally look like a video game. The finale with the chopper is utterly laughable in its fakeness - I just couldn't believe how bad it looked.

I wouldn't even mind, but the basic plot actually kinda works. Sure, it doesn't feel like a Die Hard movie, but it could have been great with better direction, a better script and more practical stunt work. As it is though, A Good Day To Die Hard is goofy in all the wrong ways and is a disappointing send off for the franchise. Hmm.... maybe it is as bad as they said after all...

Osiris follows a group of special forces commandos who are abducted mid-mission by an alien spacecraft. Waking up an unknown amount of time later and breaking free of the aliens' 'trophy room', they find themselves hunted by a seemingly endless supply of alien soldiers. Trapped on the ship with nowhere to go, all they can do is fight for survival. But... it turns out they are not the only humans on board...

Sounds interesting? It could have been. Maybe. But instead, wow... where do I even start. Endless identical aliens, endless amounts of bullets and endless amounts of tedium all came together to have me watching the clock almost as much as the screen, which is never a good sign. The aliens look like they are taken pretty much directly from the Gears of War video game and all look the same. Its like they made about 3 suits and used them repeatedly (I get that even good sci fi films do this, but they at least hide it well... this doesn't). Our commandos are unlikable, boring and somehow not only have access to their weapons but also never run out of ammo. How do they have so much ammo? All the sets look the same (they probably were) and Linda Hamilton turns up about half way through somehow looking even more disinterested than I was. It then wraps everything up with a twist that just fell flat. Big. Yawn....

I can't even recommend this to fans of cheap sci fi nonsense that has charm in its awfulness - it's just tedious, bland and I couldn't wait for it to be over. There may be a good idea buried in here somewhere, but sadly Osiris is just not worth your time.

Ash follows a young woman called Riya, who wakes up on an outpost on a mysterious planet to find the rest of her crew either slaughtered or missing. Not being able to remember pretty much anything, things take a turn when another member of the crew, a guy called Brion, returns from his shift on a station that orbits the planet. Initially suspicious of each other, nevertheless both humans need each other to escape, but as Riya gradually begins to recover her memory it soon becomes apparant that they are not alone...

I found Ash a rather frustrating watch, as for everything it gets right it also drops the ball. The two main characters play their parts well, but everyone else is under-developed filler... which is a shame as a film like this needs to build it's characters to establish stakes. The film is visually stunning for the most part, but some wobbly CGI effects toward the end dampen the experience somewhat. The story develops its mystery sci fi thriller angle quite well, but then the final act devolves into grotesque Thing-esq cosmic body horror that while being quite cool, ultimately makes the whole film feel extremely derivative. No surprises here.

I think that's Ash's biggest problem really - it feels like a bunch of other sci-fi/mystery/horror films mashed together, but the whole ends up not being greater than the sum of its parts. Its not bad, and fans of this kind of thing will probably get some enjoyment out of it, but throughout its runtime it just constantly reminded me of other films that are better...

Heretic follows two young mormon missionaries as they go about their day visiting the homes of potential recruits. They arrive at the house of Mr. Reed, an intelligent yet somehow unnerving older gentleman - who will push both of these young women to the very brink of their strength, faith, and sanity...

I must say I really enjoyed this film. A phenomenal performance by Hugh Grant serves as the spine of the experience, and the excellent sets, story and other characters are just icing on the cake. What I also liked was how the film challenges faith without being disrespectful - apparently the writers of Heretic spent years researching the various religions and history thereof, and it shows. The film doesn't insult the intelligence of the audience either, and for the most part it pulls off it's thoughtful and intelligent deconstruction of beliefs rather well.

It's not perfect though. It was all going so well... but just like a lot of modern thrillers it slips up at the last minute - the final act falling into extremely derivative psychotic killer territory... which is a shame after the brilliantly disturbing middle act. If it had just ended as strongly as the build up was suggesting, we could have had the film of 2024 right here. Sadly though - it's not quite there...

Still, Heretic remains an excellent and thought-provoking thrill ride that is not to be missed!

A slasher film riffing on the old classics but with a modern edge, There's Someone Inside Your House (TSIYH) follows the students of Osborne High as they near graduation. However, when a masked killer begins exposing their victim's darkest secrets before killing them, it becomes a race against time to... blah blah blah you know exactly how this film is going to pan out. Probably.

Can I just say that for a film called TSIYH, there is a distinct lack of people being murdered inside their own houses. But that aside, the film feels like a tired box ticking exercise that seems to be concerning itself with inclusion far more than quality. I wouldn't even mind, but while the killer wearing a 3D printed mask of their victim is very cool visually, it immediately tells you who the killer is because that tech won't be cheap. They needed to put a subversion on the finale, but nope!

It gets worse. The story is cliché, the characters are boring, and the kills are dull and uninspired. It feels like a Scream clone, but doesn't understand why Scream was interesting... and considering Scream already generated loads of clones back in the day you really need to do something to stand out, and the mask angle just isn't gonna cut it. So to speak. At least the intro was kinda cool. Pity the rest of it wasn't...

I mean, it is watchable I suppose if you like this kind of thing, but there really are countless slasher films out there that are far, far better than this...

Copycat follows criminal psychologist Helen Hudson (Sigourney Weaver) who becomes an agoraphobic after surviving an assassination attempt. Years later a serial killer with a seemingly random M. O. stumps police, so the lead detective asks for her help. Turns out, each kill copies another notorious killer, so the race is on to try and stop him/her. Thing is, when the killer realises Helen is assisting the police, this makes her a target....

Despite not being particularly remarkable, I nevertheless enjoyed Copycat. The decision to have our protagonist unable to leave her house is an inspired one, and the film weaves together a crime thriller with a bit of home invasion tension rather well. The characters are all deep and complex enough to be interesting, and there are plenty of tense scenes to keep you on the edge of your seat.

The thing is though, for a crime/thriller like this to really excel the killer needs to be the most interesting character. Silence of the Lambs, Collateral, Manhunter, even something recent like Longlegs... what do these films all have in common? The bad guys are the most interesting characters. That's why they work so well. Here though, the killer is mostly in the shadows, all you are given is the aftermath of his crimes, and you don't really see him until the end.

If Copycat had a better killer, this would be top tier as it gets pretty much everything else right. As it is though, it's just merely good. Worth a watch for sure, but there's better out there...

Collateral follows an LA taxi driver named Max who is going about his duty picking up and dropping off customers just like any other day. But then he picks up suave and sophisticated Vincent, who offers to pay Max $600 to drive him around for the rest of the day (which is far more than he would normally have earned in that time). Initially suspicious, Max eventually agrees - and everything seems to be going well, until he realises that Vincent is actually an assassin and Max is driving him to his hits...

I'd always heard good things about this film, but I was not prepared for just how amazing it actually is. You really feel for Max as he gets sucked further and further into this nightmare situation, and Jamie Foxx's performance is nothing short of spectacular. Which brings us nicely onto Tom Cruise. I don't think I've ever seen him play a character like this before, funny and charming but yet also calculating and ruthless... and I can honestly say that this may be my favourite performance of his.

As for the film itself it's well shot with just the right amount of grit and moody atmosphere, and the story is interesting with a nice build up of stakes along with a satisfying conclusion. I mean, it's a Michael Mann film, so you know it's going to deliver.

All in all, I found Collateral to be a remarkable film that ticked all the boxes, and I thorougly enjoyed it. Believe the hype...

Five Night's at Freddy's follows Mike - a troubled young man who can't seem to hold down a job and struggles to provide for himself and his younger sister. Out of desparation, he accepts a series of night shifts as a security guard at an abandoned restaurant called Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. However, there is clearly something wrong with this place, and when a bunch of grizly murders begin to tie in to Mike's past... well, the challenge to survive till morning become increasingly more difficult with each shift...

I've been a pretty big video game fan for most of my life, but despite being vaguely aware of the game series upon which this movie is based, I have never actually played them myself. Regardless, I do feel the basic game premise has translated to movie pretty well. The abandoned restaurant provides buckets of atmosphere, the story easily builds its tension with the various murderous animatronics, and the nightmares and flashbacks to Mike's childhood give a little bit more depth to proceedings than a movie like this may otherwise provide. I'm not sure if all that backstory stuff was in the original games, but I personally found it a bit of a double-edged sword - yes it gives insight into why Mike is the way he is, but at the same time it slows the pace to a crawl.

I think the pace in general is the film's biggest flaw. Once the setup has been established and the freaky robots start doing their thing, the film didn't really start upping the stakes. Mike's a terrible security guard, with people breaking in easily seemingly purely to meet their demise so that Mike doesn't have to - obviously unlike the game Mike has to survive to the end. And speaking of the end, well... let's just say I was hoping for better. Is it lifted from the games? I don't know, but a better and more satisfying pay off would have gone a long way.

Overall, Five Nights at Freddy's is a watchable if unremarkable horror that by all accounts does its source material justice, despite not really breaking the mold. Fans of the games can probably bump my score up a number though, as it's always nice to see a video-game to movie adaptation not being completely terrible....

Crazy madness that completely embraces what the first film was trying to achieve - I just couldn't stop laughing at the completely bonkers action scenes, especially toward the end... oh and the extreme awesomeness of Chuck Norris. "I heard you were bitten by a cobra?" Ahahahaha! A vast improvement on the first film...

We pick up Paddington's story an unknown amount of time after the first film, where he is settled with the Browns and is loved by (almost) all the local community. However, after witnessing a crime he is then framed for - Paddington finds himself in prison. Seeking to clear his name, can Paddington (and the Browns) bring justice down onto the real thief?

The original film was brilliant - heartwarming, genuinely funny and a good time for all ages... and this follow-up is arguably even better. The cast here are brilliant, both returning and new - with Hugh Grant playing the slippery bad guy to perfection, and the various prison inmates (including Brendan Gleeson) also being fun to follow. The plot is a bit more interesting this time too, with raised stakes and some great set-pieces... the train finale being a particular highlight.

Overall, if you enjoyed the first Paddington then this sequel comes easy to recommend.

Classic Jackie Chan martial arts shenanigans - Snake in the Eagle's Shadow is one of his first films to start showing the 'comedy kung-fu' that he would later become renowned for. It may seem a bit corny these days, but there is no doubt that the action and choreography are absolutely superb, especially for a film of this age.

I must admit I'm somewhat on the fence about Adam Sandler. Despite making a few classics back in the day, 90% of his output - certainly recently, I think is fair to say is highly forgettable. Hubie Halloween is a slasher/comedy that riffs on a lot of classic horror films, and while I wouldn't exactly call it great it's certainly watchable. All the performances are pretty good, the plot is engaging and the film hides who the killer is quite well. In the grand scheme of things it's alright, but don't expect to be blown away or anything...

The first film I found so-so, but this one is much better. Now we know what the basic premise is, the film-makers can now develop more of a plot this time round - showing the side of things from the rich businessmen killers' perspective adds much more depth to procedings. The main characters are a bit more likable this time round, and of course it's a gruesome as ever. If you liked the first one you should definately give this follow-up a go...

I must admit that I'm getting somewhat tired of early/mid 2000's animations, but I found this movie to be (heheh) far more enjoyable than I was expecting. The plot was surprisingly grown up for an animated film and there were plenty of in-jokes and gags for any grown ups watching. Definitely worth a watch.

The... 3rd? 4th? Film in the series - Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Road Chip has some fun antics, can be quite funny in places and has a genuinely heartwarming story at the centre of it all... but is it just me or are the chipmunks actually quite annoying? Bit of a problem that, when they are the main characters....

Well, this is a sequel I never thought we'd see. Picking up almost 30 years after the events of the first film, Happy Gilmore is in a bad place. He's lost his wife, found alcohol, and struggles to provide for his... quite substantial family. He's also not played golf in over 10 years. But... his youngest daughter needs ballet lessons, and some rather expensive lessons at that - so it's time to dust off the old irons and come out of retirement...

I'm quite a big fan of the original Happy Gilmore, I think it's one of Adam Sandler's best films... but I struggled to get along with this follow up. The humour just doesn't land right for me, and when our main character struggles with alcoholism and the film turns it into a joke... well, as someone who has had alcohol issues in the past this just doesn't sit right for me. Alcohol dependancy is not something to be laughed at. Sorry.

Aside from that though, the film basically is everything wrong with legacy sequels. It's full of constant throwbacks to the first film... to the point where it started getting on my nerves pretty quickly. "Remember this from the first film? Remember THIS??? Eh? EH?" My God make it stop! Also, did every character from the first film have a kid at the same time just so they could show up here?

I wouldn't even mind, but the new characters are obnoxious beyond belief (although I get this is the point), and the new ideas are just so clearly derived from the modern day tiktok, internet dependent, zero attention span zeitgeist, that I'm not sure who this film is actually for. Fans of the first film will be wondering what on Earth is going on here and why they are being reminded of a better film every 2 minutes, whereas the younger audience won't care about comedies and characters from 30 years ago.

It's not all bad though - Christopher McDonald's Shooter McGavin is on top form here and is arguably a better character and is more fleshed out than in the original film. Hmm... any other positives? To be honest... not really...

Overall it is watchable, but I personally felt it was not really needed. It is massively, MASSIVELY inferior to the first film in pretty much every way, and given the choice I'd watch the original every time. I watched this with my daughter (she's a big Adam Sandler fan) and she loved it. Maybe younger audiences do care about 30 year old comedies after all....

The Black Phone follows a young lad called Finney, who is kidnapped by the notorious 'Grabber', a serial killer who likes to toy with his victims before killing them. Finding himself locked in a basement with nothing but a bed and a phone, Finney starts to receive phoncalls from the Grabber's previous victims who try to advise him on how to escape...

The Black Phone is an abduction thriller that throws in heaps of supernatural elements, and I'm surprised it works as well as it does. How the phone works and how the previous victims can talk to Finney is never explained, but that doesn't really matter as the film successfully pulls you in to this nightmare. The film effortlessly oozes tension and atmosphere as we follow this poor kid trying to not antagonize his captor while working out how to survive. Excellent performances from all the cast, and the film also touches on other subjects suck as grief, loss and alcholism. Oh, and the odd jump scare will certainly keep you on your toes!

Despite it's supernatural elements, The Black Phone is grounded in reality enough to make you feel uncomfortable, and you really begin to root for Finney to escape as the stakes escalate. If you are a fan of horror this is one not to be missed!

Sicario is a highly stylish thriller about a pair of FBI agents who end up getting involved with a government task force set up to take on drug cartels around the US/Mexican border.

Great performances, (especially by Del Toro) interesting action scenes, well shot... this film ticks all the right boxes. However, I have to say that for whatever reson I felt... a bit underwhelmed. A bit... bored. I'm aware that it a quality effort, but I guess it just wasn't for me.

Barbie follows the titular character as she and her other Barbie pals live their best life in Barbie Land. However, when Barbie starts doing some... 'un-Barbie like' things, she realises that the human playing with her in the real world must be suffering, so her and Ken break free of the toy world and enter the real world to find said human.

This film had a lot of buzz around it when it was new, and after watching it it kinda reminds me a lot of the Lego movie. It has a great sense of humour and is just the right amount of silly and ridiculous to stay engaging. Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling put in some great performances, especially when in the real world... and, well, the 'I'm just Ken' song at the end is genuinely amazing.

The thing is, the film leans pretty heavily into being a social commentary, serving the Barbie-ruled Barbie Land where the Kens are oppressed as a parellel opposite of the real world... and whereas that's fine, when it paints the Ken's uprising as a bad thing it feels like the films message is a bit mixed. And it also feels juxtaposed against the goofy humour the film presents. I kinda feel if it had taken more cues from the Lego Movie and focused more on the hilarity of toys trying to understand humans, it may have fared better AND been more suitable for the legions of kids who will want to see it and can't.

Overall, its fun in places, but I'm not quite sure what it is trying to achieve. It feels at odds with itself, like the director was trying to make a point as opposed to a coherent film.

Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum is a Korean found footage style horror that follows the crew of a web show "Horror Times" as they travel to the titular asylum to broadcast live on the internet what they find. What do they find? Well... you'll have to watch it to find out!

I'm somewhat on the fence with this type of thing, finding found footage to be a mixed bag in terms of quality, but this film is one of the better ones I've seen. Yes it features all of the things I don't like about this genre - namely shakey cameras, fuzzy signals and the cameras never quite looking where they need to, but the rest of this was so well done I can forgive these issues.

The performances of the crew were all excellent and believable, and even though it did take ages for the film to get going - once it did... oof! Genuinely unsettling scenes featuring jump scares, possession, things moving on their own.... the whole film becoms a surreal nightmare right up until the credits roll. Sigh... sleeping with a light on tonight then!

Apparently this asylum is a real place (sadly this film was shot elsewhere as they couldn't get permits) and the owner tried to block this production from being released theatrically. Honestly... I can't say I blame him as NOBODY is buying or renting this building after watching this! And if that's not a glowing recommendation to how scary this film is, then I don't know what to tell you...

The French Connection follows 2 New York cops Doyle (Gene Hackman) and Russo (Roy Scheider) who are on the trail of French drug dealers who have somehow managed to sneak a large amount of heroin into the country. Cue chases, shootouts and police brutality...

I know this film has a reputation for being one of the greats, but aside from a handful of action sequences otherwise I found the experience somewhat plodding. I get that the film is going for realism, but hanging around watching 2 coppers stake out a place and follow people around isn't exactly exciting for the viewer. The film is also very much dated in terms of it's use of language that is... pushing acceptability in the modern age. There is a chase scene at about the 3/4 mark that is a standout and is extremely well done (especially for 1971), and a couple of good shootout scenes dotted about, but otherwise I felt this film took 105 minutes to tell a story that could have been told in 15...