Reviews
Sällskapsresan eller Finns det svenskt kaffe på grisfesten (1980)
Boring
The story is ludicrous. There are almost no funny scenes. I fell asleep a couple of times. Maybe this is a classic for Swrdish cinema but who can understand why?
Time to bury this.
La vampira de Barcelona (2020)
Boring
Sorry, but movie directors that love to be artists put me to sleep.
Black and white was a bad sign but constant scenes that are like dreams killed my interest in this movie.
I guess all that artifice just tries to hide the hollowness of the story.
Gundala (2019)
Gundala, new word...
I must thank this movie for teaching me that new word meaning boredom.
I only watched 30 minutes and couldn't stand more.
Boring characters, bland images and no superhero. Pass.
The Big Take (2018)
Incredibly boring
I wonder how this thing was produced
Maybe they got something on video that was compromising for someone with money to burn.
Avoid!
Legends of Tomorrow (2016)
Men suck
Ok, gotcha!
I can sleep fine without this.
I just watched 7 minutes but it was more than enough. I wanted to stop after 60 seconds...
Enjoy.
Kita kita (2017)
Tearjerker
It seems that there are too many fans of Korean movies. Another lovely story where one of the characters die to make us cry.
Sorry, I hate sad stories. Better to keep awsy of that o nd of crap.
Fleabag (2016)
Boring
Just trash. Couldn't get past episode one.
The main character is incredibly useless.
Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
Boring.
I got bored and fell asleep in 10 minutes. If you have problems to sleep this could be ur movie...
Kôhî ga samenai uchi ni (2018)
Silly
Just listening to the rules to travel to the past made me think it was trash.
Midnight Special (2016)
Trash
It does not make sense. It is boring. I want to obliterate every second from my mind.
Small Town Christmas (2018)
Trash
This must be one of the lamest movies ever. I guess Hallmark makes their employees to give nice rating to their awful movies. Good only to put you to sleep or to want you to be put to sleep.
Turbo Kid (2015)
Are you kidding me?
We got some good fun movies in the eighties. Do we need another one? By all means. Just another movie where the hero can decimate entire flocks of bad gunmen with a bad-ass machine-gun, his trusty knife and when he needs to go personal his gnarled bare hands. Those were simple movies where action was over the top and the hero was even able to remember one or two nice one liners. What have we got here? Well, it seems to fit the bill formally. Lots of bad guys wearing silly outfits, lots of blood and we even have a hero. However, maybe we have outgrown this kind of movie or maybe the absolutely inane script, the awful acting and the silly situations are to blame. This movie sucks BIG!!! It seemed to last forever. Longer than an Indian Movie with two pauses to eat a sandwich while they change rolls. Well, there is something good to say about everyone who had a hand in this movie, if they ever get another chance at the movies they can only improve.
Barfi! (2012)
The story of an almost mute man who leaves you speechless
For me, this movie was too long and too boring.
Actually there are two parts in the movie, the first is excruciating as the main character tries to get a girl who reminds me of Penelope Cruz. Many times I was frustrated by the main character. I could not make any sense of his gestures. Sorry but he is not such a good communicator. Actually I started hating that actor and would not watch another movie with him on it.
The second part was more entertaining. He then settles for a more accessible girl.
I guess the movie would be better if it lasted 30 minutes. No more time would be needed for an able director and guionist.
Jeux d'enfants (2003)
I must have watched another movie
It is really surprising to see the ratings some movies get. As I write this "Jeux d'enfants" has got a 7.6 on IMDb. I don't get it. The story is obnoxious. I do not really understand why the do what they do. It makes no sense. They seem to be crazy children all their lives. I hate the main characters. I wanted them to die at every chance they had, and there were some.That would have conveniently shortened this awful movie. This movie reminds someone of Amelie? Well, maybe because they speak French too. If you like this movie I do not want to meet you, thanks. I do not understand why IMDb chops my comments and then says I need to write more. It had 10 lines when I wrote it. Now I must seem like a rabid maniac who does not know about paragraphs and full stops...
Les tontons flingueurs (1963)
Killer movie, can bore you to death
I watched this movie in two sittings. It was so boring that I had to make a pause and continue the following day. The story is very silly. That is usually OK for comedies but silly do not always means funny. And this movie is not funny at all. I like intelligent comedies but this was not the case either. Until about half the movie I was quite puzzled because it seemed to me simple like a bad gangster movie, nothing funny happened. I don't get why it was funny to see the same smacking scene again and again. Some have commented about the use of French language. I guess it all went over my head as I watched it subtitled. I can speak some French but probably not to the level needed to appreciate those subtleties. I would not recommend this movie to anyone.
Kyûketsu Shôjo tai Shôjo Furanken (2009)
Vamzzzzzzzzz vs Franzzzzzzzzz
Did they pay the actors for this piece of sh*t? Was the writer a one-year-old crazy psycopath who had never heard of logic or hear an interesting joke? This movie? is really boring, it looks longer than it is because of that. Didn't it last 3 hours? you will think after watching it... Well, it will probably last longer as you will probably fall asleep and have to start again... Silly characters, abysmal plot, intelligence-insulting developments... everyone involved in this movie should be banned entrance to any facility related to movie making... I hated everyone in the movie and wanted them to be killed as quickly and bloodlessly as possible. In the world of this movie it seems that people have hundreds of liters of blood. It takes minutes to get them dry even though they are leaking about 5 liters by the second... Please, burn every copy of this movie and delete any records about it. Sometimes not knowing is better...
No desearás al vecino del quinto (1970)
Well, I have seen worse
This movie is not that bad.
Of course, due to the time when it was made it was subject to a lot of constraints. For example, sex scenes are quite light, even a priest would approve of them and probably did. At that time, all movies were censored in Spain.
Of course, homosexuals are considered as sick people by every character in the movie but that was the official feeling about it at the time. That is history to you. Generally, I don't really agree when someone put down a movie just because they don't like the ideas of the characters though I guess I would do the same sometimes.
Women will also probably feel outraged about the opinions and permissiveness to men of the ladies at the time.
This is just a movie to pass a while, some gags might be fun for you, some will fall flat.
A few of the actors did valuable jobs in other movies but this is just a comedy of the time, and there were many churned out quite similar.
If you can get it for free or cheap (I only paid a couple of euros) it might show you a part of the past of Spain you never thought existed, when foreign girls, specially Swedish ones, I don't really know why Swedish, were in Spanish men's humid dreams. Obviously foreign girls were more openly sexual.
Across the Hall (2009)
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Really boring movie. The story is too slow and predictable. All that jumping back and forward made me think the director wanted to make the movie longer. And every scene seemed never to end.
They could maybe make a real movie with this story that lasted let's say 10 minutes.
The hotel is a terribly dull place to shot this yarn, every place is dark and red and looks just the same than the previous tedious space. They must have read somewhere that red excites people and you will probably need encouragement like that to get to the silly end of this movie. I fell asleep twice before reaching the end.
So, if you have 3 days to spare to watch a single movie or you cannot get asleep this might be the movie for you. Otherwise keep well clear of this piece of trash.
Karumen junjô su (1952)
A nice light and funny story
Very funny movie. I did not enjoy that much the first installment in the Karumen's series but this one just hit the spot for me. The actresses are all wonderful. The men are all good too. Women in this movie really call the shots. The main character is wonderful in some of the scenes. It was wonderful to have a sight to old Tokyo. I guess anyone who is interested in Japanese movies, history or just a movie to spend a funny time would enjoy this. I do not understand why I am forced to write 10 lines, specially after the robot spoiled all my paragraphs so here you go, no need to keep on reading because I am just blabbering to comply with that silly condition.
The Spy Who Came in from the Cold (1965)
Confusing spy movie
This movie was mildly interesting.
There are parts that were quite well done so I kept my eyes peeled through them.
Other times I thought maybe I hadn't paid attention to something the characters had said because I got lost.
Actually, monetary matters bore me to no end so maybe all the story about banks and signing went over my head. As a result, when they accused Mundt I did not really quite understood the gist of the charges...
The ending was totally baffling for me. Well, I had supposed before the ending of the trial what the objective of the operation was. I am referring to the shooting at the end. Why? To be sincere, usually spy movies put me to sleep, specially Le Carre's stories made always me think 'What's the point?' when I watch a movie and 'This is a famous writer?' when I read one of his books. So maybe I am not qualified to judge this kind of thing.
Anyway, I thought the actors were quite good, sorry that the story was not my cup of tea...
Only for people who really love spy flick...
Sakigake!! Otokojuku (2008)
Time lost...
I could only stand the first half of the movie. The plot was really silly and boring. Just like a bad manga.
The characters are convinced that the most important thing in life is to let the 'teachers'punish them for the most trivial of reasons so that they can become 'men'.
I did not see any teaching done apart from literally thousands of push-ups and ghastly punishment... There were some references to old training techniques that sounded phony to me. Well, holding a 500 kg rock for days or being fried alive (and survive) sounds kind of phony, doesn't it?
It is unbelievable what the students put up with for no good reason.
The only sensible character seemed to be the bad guy who would not tolerate such treatment.
Ummm, I wonder if I will be man enough to end watching that piece of garbage... No way!
La gran aventura de Mortadelo y Filemón (2003)
Childish
This film depicts the exploits of two comic characters highly popular in Spain, Mortadelo and Filemon. They are secret agents able to ruin the most simple mission.
This movie was too childish to me. Though the visual jokes are occasionally amusing, several of them are repeated too frequently. Did the writer run out of ideas after 5 minutes? Expect just the most basic humor.
The special effects effort is commendable. However, you cannot rely in that only. A good movie require other elements such as a script.
Here in Spain it has been heavily publicized, what can explain an initial success but I'm afraid that many will be disappointed.
Anyway, if you liked "El milagro de P. Tinto" you might like this.
Cosa de brujas (2003)
A so so movie
This is a movie where the story is shown once and again from the point of view of different characters that have a part on it.
I ended up somewhat tired of this continuous going back. It seems that the director wants to show off how intelligent he is. However, the end is predictable and many of the details revealed by the successive versions of the story come as no surprise.
The movie is not that bad, nothing to write home about though...