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sleazoid-695-744931

Joined Mar 2010
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sleazoid-695-744931's rating
Deadgirl

Deadgirl

5.5
10
  • Apr 1, 2010
  • Original and Riveting

    This movie steered away from the super shaky shoulder-cam style that I had expected, which was a smart choice. If this had been shot in that documentary-style camera, you know, to make the action seem more raw, I may have been taken out of the story.

    The story begins with some dweeby characters, and I have to admit that my expectations weren't too high. The remote control was close in case this was going to turn into a fast-forward kind of viewing. It didn't take long for me to overcome my dislike of the dweebs. They explored an abandoned site that reminded me of the places that I haunted when I was a derelict. The setting was very familiar, and I watched on with sudden interest. If you've ever been to places like that you will definitely feel some nostalgia.

    The dweebs discover what appears to be a corpse of a girl who was chained naked to one of the filthy tables. She has a large plastic sheet over her which I had thought was used to suffocate her.

    One of the dweebs is more curious than he is freaked out.

    Have you ever heard the hypothetical question about what you would do if a hot girl washedup on a beach dead, but still warm? The two virginal dweebs have divided reactions. One of them wants to at least take a look at the goods. The other one wants to report the sighting without any hesitation.

    I don't want to spoil anything for you – you really have to see this movie with as little plot-information as possible.

    At this point in the review it would be impossible to tell you any more without affecting your enjoyment. So I am going to focus on some other things. The most important thing is that this movie is good. The story is original and in a lot of ways it is very captivating. I was constantly trying to figure out where the story was going, but not in a way that took me out of the movie.

    I was pretty damn happy that I took a chance on buying this DVD. You will too. It's re-watchable.
    The Burrowers

    The Burrowers

    5.7
    3
  • Apr 1, 2010
  • Ignorant and disappointing

    In the DVD extras the director talked about how smart horror fans are. It may be a stretch, but that statement must mean that the director considers this movie to be intelligently written. Such is not the case. The Burrowers are creatures that have hind legs like grasshoppers, yet they do not hop. Perhaps it's just artistic license that trades realism for cool-looking-ism. But why, then, present the movie as something that is for the "smart" horror fans? Maybe that was just the explanation for the total absence of nudity, with the exception of a male urinating in front of the camera. Getting back to the creatures, they have some traits that belong to spiders, like using venom that paralyzes prey and also liquefies (predigests) the innards. But "smart" horror fans would know that spiders do that to bugs, and bugs have innards encased in hard shells. Humans don't have that. Another silly trait of the Burrowers is that they disintegrate in sunlight, like vampires. That's pretty much the only way to do away with them. That's funny – of all the subterranean creatures known, not one species has that reaction to sunlight. The Burrowers apparently feasted exclusively on buffalo. but after honkies reduced their population, the Burrowers switched prey choice to humans. I may not be a biologist, but I just don't see that as realistic. There are many more creatures that are more similar to buffalo than us humans. Without spending the whole day asking myself if I am a genius for seeing past what "smart" horror fans must have overlooked, I'll just make one final observation that got past the censors. If the Burrowers were really a species known by Indians, why were there no records, and why were the creatures not discovered after "smart" folk moved into the west? Oh, that's right, they probably changed prey to something like gasoline cannisters. In the DVD extras, the director said that he always wanted to make a western, and then he said something about throwing a monster in it. It's OK that he made a silly monster, or should I say, species of monster. But if there wasn't any real thought put into the monsters, he shouldn't have talked about how the movie was for "smart" horror fans. If you chose "shop classes" instead of science when you were in high school, then maybe you'll consider this movie idea to be intelligent. Unless you like stereotypes, unrealistic dialog, bad depiction of a period in history, and visuals that have no logical basis other than the "look" of them (miniature crop circles that point to where burrowers came or went), then this movie is best left buried.
    Dirtbags: Evil Never Felt So Good

    Dirtbags: Evil Never Felt So Good

    4.3
    10
  • Mar 24, 2010
  • The "John Waters" of the new decade!

    I had heard so many great things about this movie and had kept putting off my purchase. The number one selling point to me was the sentiment among many reviewers that not since John Waters has any director angered as many mainstream idiots. Verily, as I searched the Internet for the title I saw quite a lot of boring people getting their panties in a bunch.

    I guess you can say that this is high brow and low brow at the same time. There is a huge amount of irony and sarcasm, so dim-witted people will hate the movie. That goes for brain-washed people too. It's the kind of movie that will make fools condemn it publicly, to appear mature in the eyes of others. But any condemnation of this work of genius is really showing how obtuse you are.

    It was amazing to see how the humor hit the toilet level AND the subtle level at the same time. It's a true social-mirror comedy, but it feels hilarious and "wrong" instead of being preachy. Simply astounding.

    The cinematography is superb. The camera in a comedy has to be impartial - the actors create the motion. But some really tricky shots and camera movement are in the movie too - but you don't notice because the director is a master. The camera only moves when there is a strategy to the movement. Simpletons who grew up on the MTV (short attention span) style will commit suicide watching this.

    I have not laughed this hard in a long time. It's the funniest movie of the year so far. I'll say this again - it fools you into thinking it's basic, but it is complex beyond imagining. When the story first unfolds it almost seems like meandering absurdity, but the story brilliantly resolves in totally unexpected ways. It's so packed with information that each time you watch it you will discover new things. I foresee this movie one day being MANDATORY in film schools.
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