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Smarmelade's profile image

Smarmelade

Joined Nov 2012

Badges2

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Ratings2.4K

Smarmelade's rating
One Punch Man
8.65
One Punch Man
Bugonia
7.68
Bugonia
The Hard Way
6.44
The Hard Way
Shelby Oaks
5.54
Shelby Oaks
First Reformed
7.18
First Reformed
Roofman
7.07
Roofman
Tron: Ares
6.53
Tron: Ares
Frankenstein
7.56
Frankenstein
One Battle After Another
8.08
One Battle After Another
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
5.87
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Black Phone 2
6.26
Black Phone 2
The Elixir
5.34
The Elixir
Afterburn
4.54
Afterburn
The Witcher
7.92
The Witcher
Slow Horses
8.38
Slow Horses
Marvel Zombies
7.02
Marvel Zombies
Invasion
6.21
Invasion
The Long Walk
6.86
The Long Walk
A House of Dynamite
6.47
A House of Dynamite
Cure
7.56
Cure
Task
8.07
Task
Night of the Reaper
5.96
Night of the Reaper
Eddington
6.65
Eddington
The Astronaut
4.75
The Astronaut
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
6.25
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Lists2

  • Jamie Lee Curtis, Tyra Banks, Busta Rhymes, Bianca Kajlich, and Sean Patrick Thomas in Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
    Top 10 worst movies I ever watched so you don't have to!
    • 10 titles
    • Public
    • Modified Jan 19, 2024
  • Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Joe Pantoliano, and Carrie-Anne Moss in The Matrix (1999)
    SPOTLIGHT: Keanu Reeves essential movies
    • 15 titles
    • Public
    • Modified Oct 09, 2022

Reviews149

Smarmelade's rating
Secret Level

Secret Level

7.3
5
  • Dec 17, 2024
  • We thought we wanted this, we were maybe wrong

    I loved Love Death and Robots, it was a showcase of shorts from creators that really wanted to make those. There was art, creative output.

    Secret Level is someone seeing Love Death and Robots and saying "give me that, but for my existing intellectual property". It was made to order and the order was a bunch of ads and promo for certain IPs, barely a celebration of gaming and it's history. It has no soul.

    Just to cover it right away, animation was great in all, nothing to add there, problem lies in concept itself and narrative execution.

    Now, there is title diversity but games selection is weird. Some episodes were actually fun - New World, for a game made by Amazon in an Amazon show, of all things, fronted by Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was silly and fun. Armored Core with Keanu Reeves, SIFU and WH40K were all fine.

    Pac-Man was something completely different but something was slightly off and it didn't work for me. Crossfire was just waste of time. Do people care about Unreal Tournament in 2024? Exodus, which is a game that is not even out yet, so no one knows anything about it anyway. Concord was DOA as a game, so that episode was whatever.

    Spelunky, DnD, MegaMan and Outer Worlds were ok.

    Then there is Honor of Kings - a mobile gatcha cancer game from China, that even China tried to curb it's success, but failed. That episode was kinda ok on surface, but also about a cancer game from hell.

    And, the worst thing, at the very end, last episode was a literal PlaySation ad with Kevin Hart voicing some robot. What can you say to that?

    Whole format from Love Death and Robots worked because there was passion and art about those shorts. This is just same format but used to make ads basically.

    Maybe there will be Season 2, maybe they'll learn from this season and improve on it, but - although some shorts worked fine, overall concept is maybe flawed and this will never work like LDR did.

    Can I recommend it? Short answer - no. Long answer - maybe if you want to see some proof of concept of famous video games and how would they work as CGI movie/series, then maybe watch this. Otherwise, nothing to see here.
    Hellboy: The Crooked Man

    Hellboy: The Crooked Man

    4.5
    6
  • Oct 11, 2024
  • It's not bad

    It turns out that Hellboy the comic book audience is not the same as Hellboy the movies.

    I love the comic, I like del Toro's first movie, second one not so much because it's not Hellboy, it's standard Guillermo del Toro grim fantasy fare. Third movie is just expensive trash with some ok moments.

    I liked this movie, I liked Jack Kesy. Does it look a bit cheap? Yes, but I thought most effects were pretty good. Solid number of practical effect also.

    Worst I can say about this movie is that I didn't like photography, filters. It's lower budget movie but not that low, apparently it was around 20 million budget. It should not look like it was shot with random digital camera. Also, accents are a bit too much and unconvincing.

    Story is a bit monster of the week thing than a movie material. This would work better as a TV show.

    There's not much action and Hellboy is much more of a spectator than the main guy. There are also some weird editing choices but all in all it's and okay movie. Acting is fine, plot is simple and interesting, it has good shots.

    I like Guillermo del Toro but I think he, for better or for worse, ruined Hellboy cinematic journey. Because in one hand, people who liked his movies, now expect only that, which kinda is not Hellboy, especially the second movie. In other hand, movie with David Harbour was more Hellboy than del Toro's movie, but it was a bad movie. Crooked Man is somewhere in the middle.

    Could this be better? Yes. Is it really bad? No. It's fine and it barely even went to theaters, it's pretty much straight to streaming. And for that, it's enough. Audience should give this a chance but ultimately - Hellboy works maybe the best if it's turned into a series. Hopefully not on Netflix.
    Trap

    Trap

    5.8
    3
  • Aug 29, 2024
  • How does M Night keep getting away with this?

    This movie is terrible. It's not even a movie, but a WB sponsored vehicle for his daughter's mid singing and bad acting career. Case of rampant nepotism.

    As always, he hooks you on a interesting premise and then he tricks you and shows you a bad movie.

    M Night Shyamalan is a cinematic serial killer.

    This premise in the hands of someone talented would be a great show or a movie. But this, this is slop.

    Dialogue is written by a five year old, tempo is wildly bad. Movie looks like it's gonna end three or four times.

    How can someone make movies for so long and still be bad at it, and even getting worse? And studios bankroll this. It's Eli Roth all over again.

    Dude had Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and Split, everything else sucked, some of them big time. And it's in the genes, his daughter's movie - Watchers, sucked as well and in the same way most of his movies suck.

    Most shocking thing here, though, is that this movie is one and a half hour long. It felt like five hours of start-stop-start-stop circling around the drain.

    Waste of time, do not watch.
    See all reviews

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