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moviemanic07

Joined Aug 2004
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moviemanic07's rating
Nikos the Impaler

Nikos the Impaler

3.7
  • Aug 4, 2007
  • The Tagline Says It All

    The tag line on the DVD box says it all: "The Big Apple Gets A New Immigrant And A Very Big Problem." Oh so true. Unfortunately, that immigrant isn't the barbaric Romanian Impaler, it's the lame-ass German director. Geez. If your only interest is cheap but plentiful gore, and strippers taking showers, then director Andreas Schnaas delivers. If you want a story or acting or any of the other crafts associated with motion picture story telling, you must go elsewhere. It's easy to see why his films are also known as Violent Sh*t. His list of actors makes me think that he cast the film at a horror convention. Nothing wrong with that. Sadly, he gives few of these Grade-Z horror movie veterans anything to do. Joe Zaso, in particular, is wasted as a romantic lead.

    The most interesting thing about the film is the commentary track by the director. Listening to it, you come to the distinct conclusion that he felt he made a good film. Now that's hilarious.
    Zombie Nation

    Zombie Nation

    1.5
    1
  • May 4, 2007
  • Raccoon Eyes

    An LA cop, while on duty, goes around murdering girls in the most obvious crime spree in cinematic history. Things go awry, however, when a voodoo protection spell on one of the victims allows all of the girls to rise as zombies and take their vengeance. It's the same old story, great box art, terrible movie. Really terrible movie. The zombie make-up is simply enough black eye shadow to give them raccoon eyes. The motivation of these "zombies" is strange too. On one hand, they are reasonable thinking individuals motivated only on revenge, but they seem perfectly willing to kill other people too. The character of the killer is absurd too. The LA cop is played by Günther Ziegler with a thick German accent. That would be fine, if the character was German, but, no, he's supposed to be the son of a Southern Baptist minister and a woman who runs a low-rent insane asylum. The locations are ridiculous too. The cop murders the woman at a furniture warehouse where he also works as a security guard. However, if you study the furniture warehouse, you will notice all of the furniture used in other scenes. I'll bet you 90% of the interiors were filmed (videoed) in that single location. The police station, in particular, is utterly unconvincing. This film doggedly refuses to do anything right.

    At least I can thank this film for one thing: It has spared me many hours of torture. Now, after viewing this monstrosity, I know enough to avoid any other films by Ulli Lommel -- and there are quite a few of them.

    Beware.
    The Garden

    The Garden

    4.6
  • Jul 21, 2006
  • Good idea, indifferent script

    See all reviews

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