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rootbeerbrains

Joined Nov 2004
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rootbeerbrains's rating
Saw

Saw

7.6
8
  • Feb 20, 2005
  • Just finished the movie. Hmmmm....

    I just finished the movie, and I really don't know how to rate it. The following entry will be somewhat of a stream-of-consciousness. Enjoy!

    First and foremost, this is probably one of THE most suspenseful movies I have seen in a LONG, LONG time. Can't say "ever" because waiting for any Freddie Prinze, Jr., movie to end is suspenseful enough. The horror and hopelessness for the two main characters, Adam and Larry, is completely believable -- how real something seems measures the level of fear you can smell in an audience. It's common sense. For example, "Jaws" -- ever go to the beach and swim? ... "Friday the 13th" -- ever go to camp some place in the woods? (minus when they did the movies outside of Crystal Lake and the camp, gimme a break: Jason in space, oh I can relate to that one!) ... "Nightmare on Elm Street" -- ever go to sleep? And I know that these are only three of many well-known horror flicks, but it's the fear of horrific possibility that is impossible to defeat: isn't it possible to wake up in a foreign place with a foreign person in a foreign situation?? Now, if you've been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans and truly experienced it, well, you know where I'm going... but I'm not going in that direction. This movie actually has nothing to do with sex -- it's not that predictable. I bet in the horror-making-rule-book it states: "You must have an outrageously attractive woman become immediately bare-chested then perform intercourse with an equally attractive man just before the both of them are brutally killed. Rinse and repeat as needed." Matter of fact, NOTHING in this movie was predictable, and you have to appreciate that, too. Oh, and if you're looking for bare-chested women? Yeah, this isn't the movie for that. Don't let the 'R' rating sucker you in for a sweet set of ta-ta's! I know, disappointing... but the movie is loaded with back-story and plot lines and insists that you watch every frame. Doesn't that count??? Hahaha, yeah, not for me, too.

    Second, ... and this is the part I really don't want to type out: the acting. You know... I'm a big fan of Cary Elwes, but maybe shooting the film in 18 days (according to the Behind-the-Scenes) was a bad choice. Could the director have gone maybe 19 days JUST TO GET IT RIGHT?? Again, the horror of it all, the suspense, the actors outside of the dirty bathroom were fitting and worked really, really well -- AND CAN I GET AN "AMEN" FOR SEEING DANNY GLOVER IN ANOTHER POLICE ROLL?! LOVE ME SOME CAPTAIN MURTAUGH!! -- but our two main characters made me want to puke more than the graphic scenes did. For the record, I did not puke during or after this movie, but there were two scenes that made me bite my fist pretty hard. For example, the dialogue from the get-go: okay, cool-under-pressure surgeons are one thing... waking up, barefoot, in a strange place with the lights out and feeling a heavy chain attached to your ankle is another. That kind of made me second-guess my rental choice because now I'm thinking: "Oh, Jesus... one guy is losing his damn mind while the other guy is hanging out like it's no big thing?" SURE, IT'S COOL... I WALK AROUND BAREFOOT AND HANG OUT IN DIRTY BATHROOMS FULL OF BLOOD AND DEAD PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME! ROCK ON!! Whatever. The Adam-character changed ... one second, he is really concerned about his hopeless presence in such an unpromising situation and, the next, I find him saying his lines like a nympho-voyeuristic homosexual staring at a same-sex porn video! His character totally changed and threw me off of the story when all I could think about was: "Wait, what did he just say? Because it didn't really sound like the last thing he just said." Very distracting.

    All in all, I felt that, yes, the movie "Saw" touched on a lot of issues that "Se7en" did: sin justified by sin. BUT! I was hooked from the get-go (minus the crappy dialogue) with the storyline/plot and how it literally unfolded before my eyes. I was very pleased with the movie from beginning to end. The ending? Didn't see it coming one bit. And, in a way, I'm glad it didn't even end 'Happily Ever After' because isn't that lame?

    MY CONCLUSIVE RATING: 8/10 -- Dark, dirty and grimy, moderately gory, super-suspenseful meets shady and distracting acting in the most pivotal parts. Not just in horror but this is the best movie I've seen in a long time!
    Leviathan

    Leviathan

    5.8
    10
  • Jan 6, 2005
  • David Bowie Rocks!

    DUDE, I JUST SAW THIS MOVIE, and I jus wanna say that David Bowie rocks and so do all of his little puppet friends! Every time I watch this trippy flick, I jus wanna grab a bong and HIT IT like Cheech & Chong. Oh, dude, whatever happened to them.... DUDE, LABYRINTH ROCKS!

    Wait... what the hell, David Bowie wasn't in this movie....

    Where am I?

    OH MY GOD, WHERE AM I?

    ... Drug use is incorrect for the body, and I do not support those that think: "Hey, it's cool to smoke the marijuana."

    Are my 10 lines up yet?
    Cobra

    Cobra

    5.8
    10
  • Jan 6, 2005
  • SYNOPSIS: It made me want to kick my own *ss.

    YOU CAN'T TELL ME the first time you saw Stallone do a complete 180 in that pimped out ride, hang that sweet lookin' gun out of the window, and knock off a few caps at the bad guy as he drove in REVERSE (!!) that you didn't get a little tingly in your gut in a good way.

    People... I think we need to have a Come-To-Jesus about this movie. I can't believe I actually saw such low approval stats from all age brackets. Lemme just holler and the children of the '80s: what the hell are you thinking? Stallone and Schwartzenegger were bigger than life back then, and there's no love.... Now there's nothing but CGI, bigger explosions, crazier guns, fake boobies, more authentic-looking aliens, all the things I like in movies -- wait a second.

    You know, I realize Stallone will never win Best Actor... I realize Stallone will never die, probably, he's always in such damn good shape... and I also realize that his face will never straighten up so he can talk correctly, but there's one thing I do know... I give this movie a 10, and I hope it feels like the giant peanut butter sandwich you just ate without a glass of milk anywhere in sight!

    I need a glass of rootbeer... BARTENDER!
    See all reviews

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