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bigtrouble8
Reviews
Kill Her Goats (2023)
all the bad reviews are true. but...
Yes, the plot doesn't make sense. Yes, the actors are all mostly former playmates and other various model-adjacent pretty people. But i've seen worse acting from legit trained actors who are less pretty in other movies. So, on balance, they weren't terrible. "citadel"... THAT's terrible.
Also, while they spend too long lingering in some moments and story beats take longer than they should... the lighting and camera work are pretty good. It LOOKS like it had a much higher budget than it likely did. All the effects were practical and done with some talent.
And i think it's kind of funny that major plot reveals are done through simple title cards appended to character introductions. Better than the exposition-heavy dialogue of more earnest attempts. It doesn't take itself terribly seriously, and that's not the worst thing in the world.
It's a slasher flick. That's all it tries to be. Are there better ones? Yes. But there's also far worse ones.
The Weapon (2023)
Worst movie of 2023. And 2022. And 2021.
How the hell did this even get made? Who owes Tony Sheena so many favors that they actually let this asshat star AND direct this pathetic mess. How much did they have to pay CGJ to be in this? Also, when does he show up? I think I missed it between the worst, fake fight scenes I've ever seen and checking my spam mail because I was so bored I would rather read phishing emails and ads for Viagra.
Yes, the editing is terrible. But don't blame the editors. They were just trying to splice together some semblance of a narrative from the train wreck of raw footage. It's pretty clear that Tony Sheena wants to be an action star, but his Small Dick Energy is too overwhelming. He's so unconvincing as just a human being, much less a star. To call his acting wooden would be an insult to wood. Avoid at all costs.
Y: The Last Man (2021)
It's pretty good, compelling speculative fiction
I have to jump in because the majority of negative reviews for this show seem to have been written by weak, fragile men who think the world is conspiring against them.
The plain truth of it is that if you're not an insecure baby who hates women, this show isn't bad at all. It actually has very little to do (three episodes in) with any kind of gender politic, it's just a cool piece of speculative fiction about half the world being wiped out. It sets itself up to ask some really interesting questions about human utility and legacy, about empathy and kindness. And the actors are, in large part, quite good.
I gotta say though, I don't like the monkey. I imagine it's in there for a reason and its importance will become known later, it's just my personal taste that the "monkey causing trouble" device doesn't thrill me.
Darc (2018)
Ignore the positive reviews. Don't waste your time.
Ignore the positive reviews written here by people who very likely worked on the movie. I listened to them and wasted 90 minutes of my life.
The action is okay. The stunts were well done and there's at least one memorable fight. But the lead actor Tony Sheena has the charisma and acting prowess of a pork chop. I can see why everyone in the movie wanted to punch him in the face. He looks like a date rapist. I'm not saying he IS a date rapist... but he's exactly what you'd picture a date rapist to look like. Y'know what, let's just say he is one. That's probably accurate.
Armand Assante is in this movie, which is surprising because I thought he was dead. Judging by his performance, I'm not convinced he isn't.
The pork chop wrote this movie too, which explains almost everything. Except the plot of the movie. That's still a mystery. Something about people being upset that he keeps date raping people, maybe? I'm not sure.
The women in this movie were wasted. They could have been far more interesting if they weren't just eye candy and props for the male actors. No one should ever let Julian Nasso direct another movie.
The money spent on this trainwreck could have gone to feeding the homeless. Or acting classes for the date rapist. Or more clothes for those poor exploited girls on set. Anything but this.
The Human Race (2013)
terrible movie
i'm honestly just writing this because of the high score and 2 rave reviews obviously written by people involved with the project. i feel like i was duped into watching it. so here's an honest review: this is a terrible movie. it's poorly written, and badly acted. only exception is the deaf girl. she wasn't bad, given the material she had to work with.
it's just lazy filmmaking, seems like. says nothing about the human condition (as purported from the existing reviews), only the sophomoric insight of a film-school reject who saw one too many eli roth movies.
seriously, avoid at all costs.