8 reviews
I love the big Swede and have always been a fan. I've stuck with him through thick and thin and have suffered through countless turkeys he churned out during his mid 90's career slump, after Johnny Mnemonic tanked (in which Dolph was the only highlight). That said it's no wonder my expectations were... modest when I heard about this project.
Dolph's directed a series of films at this point in his career. Some excellent (Command Performance) and some kind of "meh"(The Defender, Missionary Man). Originally set to star and direct, for Skin Trade Dolph instead takes a producing role besides starring alongside Thai martial arts sensation Tony Jaa. He couldn't have made a better decision to be honest. Producing, directing, writing and starring probably would've spread him a little too thin.
Storywise this is fairly by the books revenge stuff, but it's perfectly paced and the most stylish Dolph Lundgren vehicle I've ever seen. The Thai locations give the film an exciting flair giving the film a beautiful look. It's really well shot. They clearly spent their money well in that regard. The fight scenes are expertly shot flattering the performers to the utmost of their respective abilities. Very exciting stuff. The Jaa/Jai fight is fantastic! The scuffle between Jaa and Lundgren is intense and cool with convincing rage from both combatants. If only the Expendables 1 fight scene between Jet Li and Lundgren had been as well made as this scene.
The acting is what you would expect from these guys. Let's face it neither Dolph, Jaa or Jai White are stellar actors and they never will be. I have to say Tony Jaa comes out on top of the entire cast. His emoting is genuine and he's a convincing brawler when it's time to throw down. Dolph is subdued and performs well. The guy, awesome as he is, can be cheesy sometimes but here he's very good and his anger very believable as he goes after Ron Pearlman and his human trafficking goons. Pearlman is always good value for money but his part is a typical bad guy part.
I was worried at first how they were gonna be able to balance such a serious subject as human trafficking with a balls to the walls action flick extravaganza. That fear was completely unwarranted as this film really works well and fires on all cylinders. Very very much recommended. Go see this in cinemas if you have the chance. The film and Dolph (this has been his pet project for many years) truly deserves it.
For a guy as wasted and talented as Lundgren (he sadly can't catch a break in the business anymore) I'm amazed at his tenacity in getting this off the ground. It's a great ride and his absolute best film in many years. Well performed, expertly photographed and exciting with a gripping story and subject. This belongs on the big screen as a wide release. It's coming to cinemas in the US (I'm guessing in a limited capacity). Go see it if you can. This film kicks all kinds of behind.
If producing and writing his own stuff is what it takes to get out of the cesspool of DTV hell he's been stuck in for the past 15 years, then go for it man! You have my respect and I hope this film will become a success that puts you back on the map again with audiences.
Dolph's directed a series of films at this point in his career. Some excellent (Command Performance) and some kind of "meh"(The Defender, Missionary Man). Originally set to star and direct, for Skin Trade Dolph instead takes a producing role besides starring alongside Thai martial arts sensation Tony Jaa. He couldn't have made a better decision to be honest. Producing, directing, writing and starring probably would've spread him a little too thin.
Storywise this is fairly by the books revenge stuff, but it's perfectly paced and the most stylish Dolph Lundgren vehicle I've ever seen. The Thai locations give the film an exciting flair giving the film a beautiful look. It's really well shot. They clearly spent their money well in that regard. The fight scenes are expertly shot flattering the performers to the utmost of their respective abilities. Very exciting stuff. The Jaa/Jai fight is fantastic! The scuffle between Jaa and Lundgren is intense and cool with convincing rage from both combatants. If only the Expendables 1 fight scene between Jet Li and Lundgren had been as well made as this scene.
The acting is what you would expect from these guys. Let's face it neither Dolph, Jaa or Jai White are stellar actors and they never will be. I have to say Tony Jaa comes out on top of the entire cast. His emoting is genuine and he's a convincing brawler when it's time to throw down. Dolph is subdued and performs well. The guy, awesome as he is, can be cheesy sometimes but here he's very good and his anger very believable as he goes after Ron Pearlman and his human trafficking goons. Pearlman is always good value for money but his part is a typical bad guy part.
I was worried at first how they were gonna be able to balance such a serious subject as human trafficking with a balls to the walls action flick extravaganza. That fear was completely unwarranted as this film really works well and fires on all cylinders. Very very much recommended. Go see this in cinemas if you have the chance. The film and Dolph (this has been his pet project for many years) truly deserves it.
For a guy as wasted and talented as Lundgren (he sadly can't catch a break in the business anymore) I'm amazed at his tenacity in getting this off the ground. It's a great ride and his absolute best film in many years. Well performed, expertly photographed and exciting with a gripping story and subject. This belongs on the big screen as a wide release. It's coming to cinemas in the US (I'm guessing in a limited capacity). Go see it if you can. This film kicks all kinds of behind.
If producing and writing his own stuff is what it takes to get out of the cesspool of DTV hell he's been stuck in for the past 15 years, then go for it man! You have my respect and I hope this film will become a success that puts you back on the map again with audiences.
I just came back from the theater and I have to applaud Stallone for doing this. This is a tight action movie that entertains tremendously.
Lots of explosions and especially one scene, with Statham, Stallone and an airplane is astonishing in its execution. Like: "Whoah!"
Storywise this is nothing out of the ordinary. You've got your typical mercenaries hired to do a dangerous job that could very well mean their last. Hence the title "The Expendables".
THOSE cameos everyone already knows about are great and the scene is capped off with a line the whole theater burst out in laughter after hearing. Very cool.
If I have to name any drawbacks with the film it would be this: Not enough Lundgren and the fights were shot a little too close. A bit disorienting actually.
Besides those small things this movie rules. In fact, it's so awesome Chuck Norris cried. Well done Sly! Bring on part 2. And cast Sandra Bullock.
Lots of explosions and especially one scene, with Statham, Stallone and an airplane is astonishing in its execution. Like: "Whoah!"
Storywise this is nothing out of the ordinary. You've got your typical mercenaries hired to do a dangerous job that could very well mean their last. Hence the title "The Expendables".
THOSE cameos everyone already knows about are great and the scene is capped off with a line the whole theater burst out in laughter after hearing. Very cool.
If I have to name any drawbacks with the film it would be this: Not enough Lundgren and the fights were shot a little too close. A bit disorienting actually.
Besides those small things this movie rules. In fact, it's so awesome Chuck Norris cried. Well done Sly! Bring on part 2. And cast Sandra Bullock.
Extremely awful attempt at a sitcom. In fact, it's so bad that when Swedish journalists showed a couple of episodes to the writers of Friends (itself utterly worthless) they fell asleep. That's how bad this show is. It's supposedly a comedy series yet fails to entertain even in the slightest. Everyone overacts, especially Olle Sarri and Johan Ulvesson. Mediocre actors spouting flat, painfully unfunny jokes in absurdity. The bizarre thing is, the Swedish audience love this show. I don't know why. And the fact they put a laugh track on these awful jokes is mocking and extremely condescending towards the audience. Laugh, damn it. Laugh. I think I'll pass, thank you. Avoid like the plague...
Lina Romay is found, naked and bloody in a luxurious house and is promptly taken to a mental institute. The doctors and nurses meant to take care of her aren't exactly who they seem and a mysterious figure, clad in black, circles the premise at night, offing nubile young women.
Who is it and why is he/she doing it, and why is Lina Romay always close-by witnessing it when it happens? Franco raises a lot of interesting questions that keeps the viewer intrigued for the duration of the feature presentation. Franco this time incorporated some thriller/slasher elements and made the film all the better for it.
Acting-wise it's pretty much business as usual - bad! But the girls are beautiful and naked... and let's face it, that's what these productions were all about. The photography is simply stunning, although a few instances can be seen where there seems to be vaseline smeared on the lens of the camera, but it really isn't distracting. An entertaining little Franco-gem. Sure, it's mainly for the fans but if you're looking for a way into the Franco universe, this is as good a place to start as any.
The DVD from Dietrich's company has, as always, excellent picture quality with vibrant colors that practically sting the eyes. A+ image-wise. There's not an abundance of extras on the disc but one can't really expect it either. The film in itself is good value for money. B+ overall.
Who is it and why is he/she doing it, and why is Lina Romay always close-by witnessing it when it happens? Franco raises a lot of interesting questions that keeps the viewer intrigued for the duration of the feature presentation. Franco this time incorporated some thriller/slasher elements and made the film all the better for it.
Acting-wise it's pretty much business as usual - bad! But the girls are beautiful and naked... and let's face it, that's what these productions were all about. The photography is simply stunning, although a few instances can be seen where there seems to be vaseline smeared on the lens of the camera, but it really isn't distracting. An entertaining little Franco-gem. Sure, it's mainly for the fans but if you're looking for a way into the Franco universe, this is as good a place to start as any.
The DVD from Dietrich's company has, as always, excellent picture quality with vibrant colors that practically sting the eyes. A+ image-wise. There's not an abundance of extras on the disc but one can't really expect it either. The film in itself is good value for money. B+ overall.
Everything about this noir-ish tale about a smalltime private dick (a tour-de-force performance by Franco himself) is wonderfully endearing. Hypnotic minutelong macro-close-ups of undulating vaginas, cheesy Lina Romay-cabaré-routines and a cool performance only Paul Müller is capable of (I love that guy). This movie has it all.
Franco's private eye is hired by Lina Romay's character to snare her husband with compromising photos of him canoodling with his mistress (The utterly gorgeous Martine Stedil). Needless to say, things go beump (no I didn't spell it wrong, I merely emulated inspector Closeau) in the night and Franco has to do some real detective work.
I love the way Franco played the lead in this one. He glides around town like a little micro mini-pimp womanizing and looking sleepy (and sleazy, mind you) as always. I also like the way he bumps into the camera shaking the frame when jumping over a hedge.
And finally, we get to see the most blatant case of the director Franco taking care of the actor Franco, when throwing himself head first into a threesome with Lina Romay and Martine Stedil, eagerly masturbating them both, for real, on camera. That's dedication to your art if I ever saw it.
And that's the reason I'm a Francophile-He always has something unique up his sleeve you least expected to see. And, let's face it, a fat man bobbing up and down between two vaginas, was truly unexpected. He shoots. He scores. Like always.
Apemolecule
Franco's private eye is hired by Lina Romay's character to snare her husband with compromising photos of him canoodling with his mistress (The utterly gorgeous Martine Stedil). Needless to say, things go beump (no I didn't spell it wrong, I merely emulated inspector Closeau) in the night and Franco has to do some real detective work.
I love the way Franco played the lead in this one. He glides around town like a little micro mini-pimp womanizing and looking sleepy (and sleazy, mind you) as always. I also like the way he bumps into the camera shaking the frame when jumping over a hedge.
And finally, we get to see the most blatant case of the director Franco taking care of the actor Franco, when throwing himself head first into a threesome with Lina Romay and Martine Stedil, eagerly masturbating them both, for real, on camera. That's dedication to your art if I ever saw it.
And that's the reason I'm a Francophile-He always has something unique up his sleeve you least expected to see. And, let's face it, a fat man bobbing up and down between two vaginas, was truly unexpected. He shoots. He scores. Like always.
Apemolecule
Phew!... just finished watching ABC-DVD:s release of this Franco curiosity. It's been a very long time since I've slapped my knees this much watching a movie. The DVD contains both the soft version (still some erections and millisecond hardcore footage left in). "Mädchen I'm Nachtverkehr" was clearly shot with full-on hardcore scenes. The editing of the soft version is all jump-cuttie where the hardcore kicks in.
The movie (soft version) is typical Dietrich-era stuff. Great photography, smoking' hot women... and, of course, the one and only Eric Falk. Story comes down to this: Three women living together, supporting themselves through prostitution, want to change their situation. They save the money they make from their clients, so they can move on to a decent living, once they've made enough money. We're shown in flashbacks how these women met and episodes from their dust-ins with various clients.
This is where the knee-slapping comes in full force, with weird peccadilloes like having sex in a coffin with a weirdo that outholmes John Holmes himself (trust me, my jaw dropped), and bored sex with a Turkish guy, who keeps his Fez on, during the act. I squirted coffee out of my nose in this sequence. He babbles non-stop about Allah, Muhammed and Tutti Frutti(?!!!). Franco must've had an absolute ball making this. You've gotta hand it to the old fart. He always, no matter how crappy the movie is, digs out a nugget of pure genius... or two - The coffin sequence is pure brilliance as well.
"Mädchen I'm Nachtverkehr" is mainly for the initiated, but I would definitely recommend Francophiles-in-the-making to give this one a spin as it will only increase your appreciation for him, and his monumental work. Skip it if you're offended by scenes of explicit hardcore. It's evident on the look of the actors faces that it's all in good fun, though. Unlike some contemporary pornography. All in all classic Franco.
Apemolecule
The movie (soft version) is typical Dietrich-era stuff. Great photography, smoking' hot women... and, of course, the one and only Eric Falk. Story comes down to this: Three women living together, supporting themselves through prostitution, want to change their situation. They save the money they make from their clients, so they can move on to a decent living, once they've made enough money. We're shown in flashbacks how these women met and episodes from their dust-ins with various clients.
This is where the knee-slapping comes in full force, with weird peccadilloes like having sex in a coffin with a weirdo that outholmes John Holmes himself (trust me, my jaw dropped), and bored sex with a Turkish guy, who keeps his Fez on, during the act. I squirted coffee out of my nose in this sequence. He babbles non-stop about Allah, Muhammed and Tutti Frutti(?!!!). Franco must've had an absolute ball making this. You've gotta hand it to the old fart. He always, no matter how crappy the movie is, digs out a nugget of pure genius... or two - The coffin sequence is pure brilliance as well.
"Mädchen I'm Nachtverkehr" is mainly for the initiated, but I would definitely recommend Francophiles-in-the-making to give this one a spin as it will only increase your appreciation for him, and his monumental work. Skip it if you're offended by scenes of explicit hardcore. It's evident on the look of the actors faces that it's all in good fun, though. Unlike some contemporary pornography. All in all classic Franco.
Apemolecule
This movie is yet another Godfrey Ho-directed Whang Jang Lee kick-fest designed to display his astonishing martial arts prowess. It starts pretty boring with the usual clichés of the martial arts genre. Basically a bunch of cockfighting along the lines of:"your style of fighting sucks! Prepare to die!". Business as usual. NO, it's towards the end things really pick up as Whang Jang Lee breaks out all the awesome moves we love him for. Although some of it wire-assisted, it looks totally awesome just the same. Solid entry in the genre that will make you want to kick some light-posts after-wards.
Apemolecule
Apemolecule