John Sweeney 3/19/14 College Writing Kat Gonso The Power of Traveling Young As I sit here, at Northeastern University,

in cold and snowy Boston, all I seem to be able to do is wish I wasnt in this windowless classroom. My thoughts wander to my semester studying abroad, that I had just completed only a couple months ago. My mind seems to still be in beautiful, warm, and sunny Greece, while my body wasnt. Looking back, I would have never thought that I would be spending three months of my life in a foreign country, or even more than a few hours drive away from home, which is where?. Previously, I had only been to Europe once and Canada a couple times. I didnt understand why Northeastern wanted me to take part in the N.U. in program and spend my first semester of college so far away. However, I jumped at the opportunity to travel the world at only age 18. As the day of my flight, September, 15 2013, arrived, it still hadnt hit me yet that I was headed to Thessaloniki, Greece. I would be lying if I didnt say I wasnt even a little nervous to be going to a place so different from my small suburban town. I distinctly recall as soon as I boarded the plane, the nervousness was gone and was replaced by a sense excitement and a desire to explore this whole new part of my world. I studied at an American college is Greece with a group of several other American freshmen. This place felt like a home away from home where everyone spoke good English and, thankfully, the classes werent taught in Greek. The classes were not very challenging, which in my view is the beauty of studying abroad. This allowed me personally, to have the time to get
Comment [KG3]: What is this? Will your audience know? Comment [KG1]: Seems to be? Or is? Much stronger introduction that establishes place and identity. Comment [KG2]: Good temporal transition

out and take in all the culture that Thessaloniki, and Greece as a whole, has to offer. I believe what I learned on my own, outside of the classroom, will be far more valuable in my life and future. When I first landed in Greece, I wanted to hit the ground running and experience as much as I could in the 90 days, and counting, I had. A large part of this was the extensive traveling I was able to do. I was able to get to Halkidiki, which hosts some of Greeces best beaches. I was able to swim in the clear blue waters of the Aegean Sea and see the stunning monasteries perched on the cliffs of Mt. Athos. I visited the capital of Athens and saw the beautiful Parthenon in person, which before I had only seen in history textbooks. I also experienced the unrest Greece has been known for lately. The night before I arrived, there was a drive by shooting of a prominent political figure and there were riot police everywhere around the city. I toured the ancient oracle of Apollo at Delphi. This was once known as the crossroads of the world, and the ruins have been around for multiple millennia. As I lived in Greece for longer, I began to get to know some of the locals better. I became friendly with the local barber, who had actually lived in Philadelphia for a few years before moving back to Greece. I found him to relatable as he has done a similar thing to me, in leaving his native country, experiencing a new culture, and then returning to his country. He has some very unique views on things, particularly the American government and culture. Even though I didnt agree with most of what he was saying, I still looked forward to getting my haircut every other week because his perspective on things was fascinating. Another local I met was the owner and bar tender, named Stefanos, at a local sports bar I visited more often than not. His English wasnt the greatest, but he became a good friend. He was always interested in how I was doing and what was new in our lives. I spent my last night in
Comment [KG7]: Good additions here. What did he look like? What did you talk about? Give the reader a bit more details to move further away from summary. Comment [KG5]: Awkward phrase Comment [KG6]: What did he look like? Comment [KG4]: Yes!

Greece at his bar, waiting to leave for our early flight. That was probably one of the harder moments of my time abroad: having to leave a good friend, knowing I may never make it back. However, we still keep in touch every once a while and talk about how things are going and so on. My favorite moment in Greece, and the one Im proudest of, is making it to the summit of Mt. Olympus. It was a grueling two day hike, where I spent to night in an unheated refuge half way up the 10,000 foot peak. The sense of accomplishment and success when I reached the top was like no other. Im a subscriber to the idea that What doesnt kill you makes you stronger and this experience proves it to me. I may not have become any physically stronger, but mentally Ive become stronger willed when it comes to dealing with challenges that may seem insurmountable at first. The view from the top wasnt too bad either; the mountain appears to simply rise up out of the plains and through the clouds with the sea as a glimmering backdrop. I find it easy to see why the ancient Greeks believed this was the home of the gods, all I had to was take a step back.

Comment [KG8]: Great detail! It is visual and gives the reader a better understanding of your time in Greece. Once again, what did you talk about? Why was this place and this person so important to you and your travel abroad experience?

Comment [KG9]: Can we see this? Just a sentence or two

The summit of Mt. Olympus In addition to my travels within Greece, I had the opportunity to travel to three other countries, each with their own unique cultures and customs. I spent the better part of week in London, where interacting with people who actually spoke fluent English was a very welcome change. I was able to see and do all the things you read about and see firsthand how British culture is much different than American, even though we share the same language and many customs. I was in Munich, Germany for a couple days where I was able to see the historic city center of one of the only German cities that survived World War Two unscathed. However I, sadly, missed the famous Oktoberfest by only a week.
Comment [KG10]: Good transition. This is one of your strengths as a writer.

Finally, I spent a long weekend in Istanbul, Turkey. That was probably the most unique, interesting place I have ever been, and it would take much longer than just a weekend to fully experience everything. As I look at myself, in the present day, I can see the extensive way my three months abroad have really changed me. I believe that the only way to grow is to challenge yourself, push yourself, and experience things that are new and meaningful. My travels gave me the opportunity to do all three of these things at the same time. When I spent time in Istanbul, I got to experience a taste of Islamic culture and life, from women wearing headdresses to the delicious Turkish tea. The songs of prayer blaring out of the mosque every morning were my alarm for the entire trip. I was able to haggle items at the markets, or bazars, as they call them, down to half the original cost. The most interesting part was standing in the central square of the city and when I looked around I was surrounded by nearly ten thousand years worth of history. A picture speaks a thousand words and this one really sums up the history, beauty, and culture I experienced there.
Comment [KG12]: YES! YES! YES! Connect this to the other smaller paragraph. Here, I can see you in the country. I can see your development! Where you alone or with friends? This will change your experience. Comment [KG11]: Does this belong here?

The Blue Mosque and Istanbuls central square at sunset It may seem like a given that the language barrier is a major challenge to anyone living in a non-English speaking country. Since the Greek alphabet is different to ours, not only did I not know the language, but I couldnt read or pronounce anything either. A fair amount of people spoke at least some broken English. However, this forced me to be resourceful by using things like hand gestures and other forms of cross cultural communication to get my point across. Eventually, I picked up enough Greek to have a basic conversation, which made communicating far easier. Challenges like this, build character that I wouldnt have otherwise gained by forcing me into a new situation.
Comment [KG14]: Can we hear some dialogue here? Comment [KG13]: Better transition. How does this idea about language connect to the travels you speak of in the previosu paragraphs?

All of the challenges Ive taken on, experiences Ive had, and p eople I met have helped to shape both myself and my world view. I feel that Ive gained a new awareness of the world around me and the people in it. I like to think that Ive become a much more open and accepting person. This is evident in that Im more sensitive to common stereotypes now than I was back in September, just over 6 months ago. To give an example, whenever Im at an airport I find it very easy to pick out the stereotypical obnoxious American travelers, even if that isnt always the case for everyone. I find that I now can look at my own culture through a different lens and see the good and the bad of it, in a way thats different and less biased than before. This new, worldly lens I gained is the most valuable thing I got out of my time abroad. I see it as making me a more understanding, accepting, and overall more open person who is far more willing to try something new and take challenges head on. I am a firm believer that traveling and experiencing cultures different to your own, will teach you more than you can ever learn in a classroom. The experiences will force one to learn to solve new problems and discover strategies to do so. Most importantly, travelling teaches the values of independence and self-reliance. Even something small that you must do on your own, like in my case figuring out the very complicated public bus system can make one become more independent. Dealing with a language barrier helps to develop new communication skills that will undoubtedly be of value in other practical situations like an interview. All of these skills and traits cant be learned without getting out there and experiencing things for yourself. There is no better way to do this than by traveling, which will bring new experiences and challenges. These are the things that allow each and every person to grow in a way that they wouldnt otherwise. Personally, I grew so much in those three months I spent abroad. My views on both the world and myself are so much different than before. Ive grown into someone who is well
Comment [KG15]: Good.

traveled and can look at the world around me through a different lens. I can only imagine if I didnt have these travel experiences none of this growth and change could have happened. The best time to start traveling is now! Time marches on and stops for no one. There is only so much time we all get, which is why I advocate that you should travel as young as possible. Its much easier to travel when youre young, you dont have a family, a job, or any huge commitments. When youre young, you can put everything on hold and if it really matters it will be there when you return. My advice is to just do it; dont worry about money, time, or school. You may regret not doing something, but I promise you that you will not regret your adventures traveling. It really is a one of a kind experience and nothing else can compare to it. The things you learn and the amount you will grow in such a short time will astound you when you look back, like Im doing now. I dont go a day without thinking about my travels. Im reminded constantly of them by this:

This is my laptop background, and its the sunset over the Thermic Gulf on my last day in Thessaloniki. I wouldnt change a single thing about my story and experience; it has changed and shaped me into the person I am today. Looking back now, I find it hard to even imagine how different my life would be if I had followed the more traditional path for an 18 year old I was seeking.
Comment [KG16]: This summary conclusion can be improved. Why not end back in the beginning in the classroom with your laptop open thinking of your travel? This would create a nice echo effect. Try it and see if it works for you. If not, is there another way you can leave the piece other than summary?

Much improved, John! I love the section that you added about Turkey. Very strong language and a good look into this specific memory and what it means to you. Organization is much better. There is one odd transition that I marked. As for summary, you are on your way! I have marked a few places and asked questions that can help you make this less of a summary and more of a memoir. But, you are on the right track. Do what you did for Turkey.

Let me know if you have additional questions. I hope that helps! Kat