Custom Cards Against Humanity `s pack (Part 1 )
Created by the awesome site http://customcardsagainsthumanity.com
Banana
Hodor
Blood diamonds
A black hole
A wife
best card
Dial-up internet.
Dividing by zero.
iPhone 6
GoPro
Mounted camera
BOOM!
That was easy
Are you kidding me?
People who say they
put in "110%"
Dog-meat burrito
Sexy vampire ninja
Farting in an elevator
Bond. James Bond.
"Get in my belly!"
the tears of Chuck
Norris
Dick Chenney's
shotgun skills
Sexual Harassment
Panda
Going full retard
Running backwards
through a cornfield
A day care Fight Club.
Forgetting the safe
word.
Japanese schoolgirl.
White trash
Pity sex
Lady Gaga's
boyfriend
That moment when
the wind flows through
your vag hair
Stuffing a speedo with
a polish sausage
Child Chewable Birth
Control
Paying a hobo to
spoon with you.
Romance zombie
book
Dancing camel
Over 9000!!!
Scumbag Steve
A joke too funny for
women to understand
Eating the entire bag
Emma Watson
Becoming a pokemon
master
Being the very best,
like no one ever was
Prank calling a suicide
hotline
The tooth fairy's
exposed breast
A midget with a
learning disability.
Making it look like a
suicide.
a banana hammock.
2048
Naked yoga.
Road rage.
Smoothies!
Smoothies!
Smoothies!
James Camerons
ego.
Porn stars
Tim Curry in Drag
The art of sandwich
making.
Parking like an
asshole
Aggresive Legolas
hair flips.
House party at
Gollum's
Science bitch.
Hannibal home-made
food.
Worst superhero
award.
The worst super
powers.
A long romantic walk
to the fridge.
A racist old billionaire
who owns the Los
Angeles Clippers.
Vladimir Putin
Your face
Hot-dog stand
Dating Advice from
Taylor Swift
Because I killed
Jenny!
Bearded Austrian
drag act Conchita
triumphs
Grady's Mustache
Timid cat calls.
Dog poop smushed
between your toes
Used second-hand
adult diapers.
A castle with a moat
filled with spaghetti
and man-eating
meatballs.
Looking into a crystal
ball and glimpsing a
future where you are
looking into a different
crystal ball.
Sneaking into your
parents bedroom and
falling asleep to the
sounds of them
having sex.
Peeing in two
directions due to dried
semen.
A statue of Santa
Claus that takes up
12% of an apartment.
A bergina.
Disastrously
misunderstanding the
purpose of a whale's
blowhole.
Watching porn
because the porn
stars look like your
real-life friends.
Having a last name
that rhymes with a sex
organ.
A fight to the death
between Iron Man and
Tin Man.
That friend who says
"that's what she said"
to everything you say;
even when it's not
even remotely funny.
POGS!
Free wifi.
Katie.. Will you marry
me? -Rhett
A tickle me Elmo that
NEVER stops
laughing.
TADA!!!
Mom's spaghetti.
The poop hammer.
Slurping!
Being sad each time
your favorite character
dies in Game of
Thrones.
A career ending
blowjob.
Joking about finding a
cure for AIDS.
Apologizing for having
a boner.
Eating caviar. Then,
later, pooping out live
fish.
Passive-aggressive
spaghetti.
Face checking the
brush.
Slicing a train in half
with a scimitar.
A casket full of beer.
A big bag of dicks.
Finding the droids you
were looking for.
Blank.
Luis Guzman breath.
A poorly timed fart.
Ke$ha.
Benjamin Franklin
Time Traveller
A giant`s toe.
Flying Spaghetti
Monster.
Being called "scum"
all day, week, month
and year around.
Vampire Robot Nazis.
Dragonborn.
A flaming red dragon,
swallowing the sun.
Bologna nipples
Having a rockin
awesome ginger
beard!
Metaphor.
Hunting Demons.
Misha Collins
Castiel, Angel of the
Lord.
Supernatural.
A 1967 Chevrolet
Impala
Dean Winchester.
Sam Winchester.
Internet Fangirls.
shitting glitter.
Losing a pastie on
stage.
Sailor Poon.
Porn n' Pancakes.
Tyrion Lannister's
pimp cup.
The darkest timeline.
Loras Tyrell's
fabulous hair.
A reverse mermaid.
fucking with the
audience.
a show flyer featuring
photoshopped cum
splooges.
jumping out of a plane
at your bachelor party.
Troy and Abed in the
morning.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Bill Nye
Nice Guys of
OKCupid.
Ygritte's firecrotch.
slut-shaming.
rape culture.
My Short Skirt.
vaguebooking.
That thin, easy to
poke through, toilet
paper in public
restrooms.
Being unable to shake
that you were known
as 'Butt Knuckles' in
kindergarten.
The deep web
Accidentally Googling
"blue waffle"
The world's tallest
midget
Vaginal Hubris
The tears of straight
white men
Highschool of the
dead
A photoshop miracle
The chosen one
The prophecy
Found your pants
Standing in sort of
sun-god robes with a
thousand naked
women screaming
and throwing little
pickles at you.
Ral Esparza
Projectile childbirth
Cintia Dicker.
A Sports Illustrated
Swimsuit Issue in mint
condition, except for
the sticky pages.
Liam Hemsworth
Channing Tatum.
Scarlett Johansson.
The wheelchair kid
from Glee naked on a
bearskin rug
Whispering "Hail
Hydra" into his ear
and watching him
shudder in ecstasy.
Double or nothing
A mother's love for
her child
Will Smith's
horrendous kids.
Discovering you have
a latex allergy while
losing your virginity.
Waking the dragon
Sentient boxes that
wish they weren't
boxes
An all yogurt snout.
A Shirley Temple
made from the
remains of the actual
Shirley Temple.
If only I could keep it
Ninja Cat
Lindsay Lohan's sad
life.
Foul mouthed twelve
year olds.
The mutilated entrails
of my enemies.
Pretending to be a
heterosexual.
Ross Perot's gigantic
elephant ears.
A Colombian necktie.
The money shot.
Homophobia.
THE THUNDER KING
Toeing
Masturbating furiously
to the goriest episode
of Attack on Titan.
Keistering a midget so
you can pass your
drug test.
Bleeding every time
you take a shit.
Fantasizing about
your 56 year old
teacher in class and
having an orgasm.
Using your nipple as
bait for fishing.
Having an intense
fear of being raped by
muppets.
Child Inebriation.
SIE SIND DAS
ESSEN UND WIR
SIND DIE JGER!
Being Pon this Wei.
TITANS ARE MY
TRIGGER!
FBI: Fabulous Boys
Inc.
The Pizza Man
MORTAL KOMBAT!
A ShamWow.
By being a boss ass
bitch.
I have shit cards and
am putting this down
in hopeless
desperation.
A zombie Bob Barker
that hosts The Price is
Right, but all the
prizes are brains.
A sexually-managed
piece of software.
Kissing a prince and
turning into a frog.
A custom card for
Cards Against
Humanity that never
wins.
Being sick over a long
weekend.
Craig referring to
somebody by their
first name.
A seductive panda
with a mustache.
Obviously phony
compliments.
High functioning
sociopath with your
number
A tuna fish sandwich.
Skyrim.
Monkey tits.
Shoulders, nips and
toes.
Smoking at High
School.
How my skin glistens
in the moonlight when
I'm covered in
mayonnaise
A dentist making
conversation with their
hand in your mouth.
Potato blight.
60,000 bees.
British YouTubers.
Ubisoft's fear of
animating women.
A stale dorito.
Anime fanservice.
Dead Anime Mom
syndrome.
Falling asleep in an
insomniac support
group.
A weeaboo speaking
broken Japanese.
Shrek is love, Shrek is
life.
Fog of war
A stereotypical white
girl Instagramming a
picture of her
Starbucks.
Three consecutive
seconds of happiness.
Michael Bay
explosions.
A handsome,well
educated black man.
People with nose
piercings and half of
their head shaved.
Jacking off at a high
school pep rally.
Things that go bump
in the night.
A rotating cock screw.
Eating the eyes off of
a kitty cat.
"Asshole of the
Month" in the Asshole
of the Month Club.
A mother's love for
her child
A railroad spike
drenched in menstrual
blood.
A singing Idina
Menzel real doll.
Vodka diet
The poop that has
glued my ass hairs
together.
Billy Mays
The wet spot on my
shirt from not shaking
it enough at the urinal.
The straw on Charlie
Sheen's coffee table.
The sad realization
that you have wasted
your life in the pursuit
of happiness.
Canada's navy.
A penis only a mother
could love.
Shitting on the kitchen
floor.
Biting into a worm and
finding an apple in it
George Takei
Picking up your dog
by its hind legs and
pretending he's a
lawnmower
Wiping boogers on
someone's clothes
when they're not
looking.
Riding the bull naked
at One Night Stand
A stripper.
One Direction.
The white woman
getting offended by
this card.
AMERICA!
Disembowelment.
No hugs from mommy
and daddy.
Trolling Craigslist to
get laid.
Singing showtunes
with your
gynecologist.
