Grammar Hammer
Wordiness
Put wordy phrases on a diet. Make sentences concise by eliminating wordy phrases.
Wordy: In a situation in which a class is overenrolled, you may request that the instructor force-add you.
Concise: When a class is overenrolled, you may ask the instructor to force-add you.
Wordy: Amrit made a few observations concerning the matter of contingency funds.
Concise: Amrit made a few observations about contingency funds.
Here are some words you can use to trim the fat off of wordy phrases:
Instead of… Use…
the reason for/for the reason that
due (or owing) to the fact that
in light of the fact that
because, since, why
considering the fact that
on the grounds that
this is why
notwithstanding/regardless/despite the fact
although, even, though
that
in the event that
if it should transpire/happen that if
under circumstances in which
on the occasion of
when
under circumstances/in a situation in which
as regards
in reference to
with regard to about
concerning the matter of
where . . . is concerned
it is crucial that
it is necessary that
there is a need/necessity for
must, should
it is important that
it is incumbent upon
cannot be avoided
is able to
has the opportunity to
is in a position to can
has the capacity for
has the ability to
it is possible that
there is a chance that may, might, can, could
it could happen that
the possibility exists for
prior to
in anticipation of
subsequent to
before, after, as
following on
at the same time as
simultaneously with
Adapted from UW-Madison - http://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/CCS_wordyphrases.html and https://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/CCS_prepphrases.html
Grammar Hammer
Wordiness
Sometimes, prepositional phrases aren’t really necessary, especially when you use them (instead of an apostrophe + s) to denote
possession of an object.
Try to avoid using too many prepositional phrases in a single sentence; they can obscure the main subject and action of a sentence.
Unnecessary phrase: The opinion of the manager
Correction: The manager’s opinion
Unnecessary phrase: The obvious effect of such a range of reference is to assure the audience of the
author’s range of learning and intellect.
Correction: The wide-ranging references in this talk assure the audience that the author is intelligent
and well-read.
Unnecessary phrase: It is a matter of the gravest possible importance to the health of anyone with a
history of a problem with disease of the heart that he or she should avoid the sort of foods with a high
percentage of saturated fats.
Correction: Anyone with a history of heart disease should avoid saturated fats.
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This writing involves past student work. It contains several errors. Revise these sentences to state their meaning in fewer words.
When you can, avoid passive voice, needless repetition, unnecessary prepositional phrases, and wordy phrases, and clauses.
(1) When first introduced, the feudal and manorial systems were mainly a way to fix the gaping hole in the
military that the fall of the Roman Empire had left.
___________________________________________________________________________________
(2) While this would indeed provide increased order and thus security to the majority of citizens, it would also
pave the way for a long chain of class dependency, something still observed in modern-day Europe.
___________________________________________________________________________________
(3) This writing came from the Church during the Carolingian Empire after the Vikings travelled to mainland
Europe.
___________________________________________________________________________________
(4) As a result of prioritizing their own opinions, scholars and monks of the Church, who controlled the
writing of the Middle Ages, could change history as they please.
___________________________________________________________________________________
(5) Their ideas seeped into the minds of historians who projected these falsifications to the rest of the world
through their work.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Adapted from UW-Madison - http://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/CCS_wordyphrases.html and https://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/CCS_prepphrases.html
Grammar Hammer
Wordiness
Writing Exercise
Revise these sentences to state their meaning in fewer words. When you can, avoid passive voice, needless
repetition, unnecessary prepositional phrases, and wordy phrases, and clauses.
(1) He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was necessary for him to help support his family.
___________________________________________________________________________________
(2) Trouble is caused when people disobey rules that have been established for the safety of all.
___________________________________________________________________________________
(3) Sometimes Stan went running with Blanche. She was a good athlete. She was on the track team at school.
___________________________________________________________________________________
(4) The way Roosevelt came about interning the Japanese-Americans during World War II was illogical.
___________________________________________________________________________________
(5) It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a deliberate lie on purpose.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Adapted from UW-Madison - http://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/CCS_wordyphrases.html and https://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/CCS_prepphrases.html
