Are Parents Identifying Positive Aspects To Parenting Their Child With An Intellectual Disability or Are They Just Coping? A Qualitative Exploration
Are Parents Identifying Positive Aspects To Parenting Their Child With An Intellectual Disability or Are They Just Coping? A Qualitative Exploration
Carole Beighton
Kingston & St. Georges University of London, United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
Jane Wills
London South Bank University, United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
Abstract
Although acknowledging the stress of raising their child with intellectual disabilities, parents also
report that their child has brought about many positive changes in themselves and family. This
study reports what parents perceive to be a positive aspect of parenting their child, as currently
what constitutes a ‘positive’ is unclear. Seven key themes were identified; an increased sense of
personal strength and confidence, changed priorities, greater appreciation of life, pleasure in the
child’s accomplishments, increased faith/spirituality, more meaningful relationships and the positive
effect that the child has on the wider community. Interpretive examination of the themes reveals
that the positive aspects identified consist mostly of meaning-focused coping strategies. These
enable parents to adapt successfully to the stressful experiences of raising their child and therefore
could be amenable to meaning-focused therapeutic interventions for parents with newly diagnosed
children or for those unable to identify any positive aspects of parenting their child.
Keywords
intellectual disabilities, caring, meaning-focused coping, positive aspects, positive reframing
Corresponding author:
Carole Beighton, Faculty of Health, Social Care and Education, Kingston & St. Georges University of London, Cranmer
Terrace, London, SW17 0RE, United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Email: carole.beighton@sgul.kingston.ac.uk
2 Journal of Intellectual Disabilities
Background
Most children with intellectual disabilities live at home with their parents, with the majority of
parents providing lifelong support for their child (Emerson and Hatton, 2008). This support can
include direct care (helping with activities of daily living, i.e. washing or dressing), emotional care
(providing support and encouragement), mediation care (negotiating with others on behalf of the
individual, i.e. services) and financial care (Horowitz, 1985). In addition, the child will often
experience long-term chronic conditions and/or complex health-care needs that will also require
ongoing daily management, time and resources.
This need for lifelong support has led historically to research on parenting a child with intel-
lectual disabilities to be framed within stimulus-based orientation to stress models and the medical
model, both of which construct intellectual disability as a series of functional deficits (Emerson
and Hatton, 2014). Both focus on the child as a ‘negative stressor’ and report the negative impact or
burden that the child’s impairment(s) have on the parent or family, including higher levels of
psychological distress, depressive symptoms and poorer general health than parents of typically
developing children (Miodrag and Hodapp 2010; Woodman and Hauser-Cram, 2013), with these
poor outcomes increasing with the duration and intensity of the ‘caring’ role (Department of
Health, 2010; Neece and Baker, 2008).
Anecdotal findings of parents reporting ‘positive aspects’ of parenting in studies exploring
stress were initially seen as denial or as a maladaptive reality distortion (Affleck and Tennen,
1996), however, although often conceived as reflecting opposite dimensions, negative and positive
appraisals of the impact of parenting a child with an intellectual disability have been found to be
independent of each other and can also occur simultaneously (Hastings and Taunt, 2002; Rapanaro
et al., 2008; Stainton and Besser, 1998).
Positive aspects
The aspects that parents perceive to be positive are difficult to define as the disability field lacks
theoretical models that address the idea of ‘positivity’ and in addition, the elements that contribute
to the construct of a positive aspect are complex, not clearly defined and there is a lack of con-
ceptual clarity leading it to be conceptualized differently between studies (Blacher and Baker,
2007; Helgeson et al., 2006). Only a few studies have provided definitions of what a positive aspect
is, ‘any indication that the family or any of its individual members have benefited as a result of the
child with disabilities’ (Helff and Glidden, 1998: 459) or the ‘belief or conclusion that an adverse
event or circumstance has revealed or evoked positive outcomes in one’s life’ (Rapanaro et al.,
2008: 35).
In addition, the terms used by researchers to define these positive aspects are used inter-
changeably, the most common being positive impact(s) (Blacher and Baker, 2007; Blacher et al.,
2013; Hastings et al., 2002; Lakhani et al., 2013; Scallan et al., 2011; Stainton and Besser, 1998).
Others variously describe positive perceptions (Baker et al., 2005; Greer et al., 2006; Hastings
et al., 2002; Hastings and Taunt, 2002; Vilaseca et al., 2013) as benefits or benefit finding
(Rapanaro et al., 2008; Foster et al. 2010), positive contributions (Hastings et al., 2005), rewards
(Grant et al., 1998), positive experiences (Kimura and Yamazaki, 2013), gratifications (Valentine
et al., 1998), positive contributions (Behr et al., 1992; Turnbull et al., 1988), stress-related growth
(King and Patterson, 2000), transformations (Scorgie et al., 2001) and positive aspects (Kenny and
McGilloway, 2007).
Beighton and Wills 3
The positive aspects that parents identify can refer to actual changes that they have undergone
or perceptions of change, however, due to the lack of conceptual clarity this has resulted in a mix of
quantitative instruments and measures being used, generating results that are difficult to compare.
Meta-analytic findings of benefit finding and growth (across a wide range of stressful events)
suggest that benefit finding measured ‘sometime’ after the event reflects actual change or growth
in the person, whereas measuring benefit finding soon after the event reflects a cognitive strategy
used to reduce stress, however it is conceded that this is difficult to pinpoint as it appears
researchers are not all studying the same phenomenon (Helgeson et al. 2006).
Caregivers of older people with dementia who report positive aspects of caring have been found
to have better self-reported health, less depressive symptoms and higher caregiving competence
(Basu et al., 2015; Cheng et al., 2013). However, similar studies about carers supporting older
people express concerns for carers who are unable to identify any positive aspects of their caring
role; one concluding, ‘carers who cannot identify anything positive about caring may be at par-
ticular risk for depression and poor health outcomes in addition to institutionalizing the cared for
earlier than others’ (Cohen et al., 2002: 188), and Nolan et al. (1996) report that a lack of carer
‘gratification’ could be an indicator of risk of abuse for older people.
Parents of children with intellectual disabilities spend the longest time as carers (it is estimated
that 75% of parents have been caring for more than 20 years, compared to an average of 18.1% for
all carers in England; Emerson et al., 2012), and this has been shown to impact their well-being.
Therefore, it is important to understand what these parents perceive to be positive aspects and in
addition whether the positives they describe could be amenable to therapeutic interventions that
might increase positivity. This could be an important resource for parents of newly diagnosed
children or for parents who are unable to identify any positive aspects.
In an attempt to draw conclusions about the nature of the ‘positive perceptions’, Hastings and
Taunt (2002) compared five studies where parents were asked to describe ‘the positive impact that
a child with a disability can have on the family’ and identified a framework of 14 key positive
themes. Despite differing sample sizes, methodologies and ways of conceptualizing positive
perceptions and experiences, they found consistent themes identified across all the studies as
shown in Table 1.
It has been posited, however, that parents are not actually identifying positive aspects of par-
enting their child per se, but the positives they describe are adaptive coping mechanisms in which
they engage in positive reframing, one of the most common components of meaning-focused
coping (Hastings et al., 2002; Park and Folkman, 1997). Some do not support this assumption
and argue that these benefits are not artifacts of cognitive coping mechanisms (Greer et al., 2006;
Stainton and Besser, 1998; Taylor, 1983) and that if a parent reports benefits, ‘we should take them
at their word’ (McConnell et al., 2015: 1).
Meaning-focused coping
Coping is a response aimed at ‘diminishing the physical, emotional and psychological burden that
is linked to stressful life events . . . ’ (Snyder and Dinoff, 1999: 5) and the transactional model of
stress and coping (Lazarus and Folkman, 1987) highlights the cognitive and emotional aspects of
the person experiencing the stress with the appraisal and coping process central to this perspective.
This model includes ‘positive psychological states’ which are the result of meaning-focused
coping strategies that involve searching for ‘a more favorable understanding of the situation and
4 Journal of Intellectual Disabilities
Table 1. Positive perceptions identified by parents: Themes across five studies (Hastings and Taunt 2002: 118).
its implications’ (Park, 2013: 40) and has been widely adopted for use in studies of families of
children with intellectual disabilities (Grant et al., 1998).
Within meaning-focused coping, positive reappraisal (also referred to as positive reframing,
positive cognitive restructuring and benefit finding) is the most commonly used strategy. Pos-
itive reappraisal is a way of viewing and experiencing the stressful events, ideas, concepts and
emotions in order to find more positive alternatives; for example, deciding that there are ‘more
important things in life’, ‘something a lot worse could happen’ or ‘finding a silver lining’ (Hill
Rice, 2012; Troy et al., 2010). In quantitative studies, positive reappraisal was found to be a
significant independent predictor of positive perceptions in mothers of children with an intel-
lectual disability after controlling for other factors such as social support and degree of care
required (Hastings et al., 2002).
‘Meaning’ is described as ‘making sense, order or coherence out of one’s existence’ (Reker
et al., 1987: 44). Meaning-focused coping is based on the assumption that individuals experience
stress when they perceive discrepancies between their appraised meaning of a particular situation
(degree of threat, harm, controllability, implications) and their global meaning (fundamental
assumptions of life, values, goals, beliefs, desires) (Park and Folkman, 1997). For example, most
parents assume that their child will be healthy and follow a normal development pattern and the
diagnosis of intellectual disability is likely to violate their beliefs about the fairness of why this has
happened to them. Most will be faced with how to resolve the incongruence between their global
and appraised meaning. This will require them to reevaluate their hoped-for future life goals, plans
and priorities, and this incongruence may be changed by searching for a more favourable
understanding of the situation, reducing the mismatch between situational and global meaning
(Park, 2013).
Other strategies used in meaning-focused coping includes benefit reminding (making an
intentional effort to recall previously found benefits), adaptive goal processes (revising goals and
planning goal-directed problem-focused coping that fosters meaning in terms of purpose and
control), reordering of priorities (value-based process where aspects of life move up or down the
priority ladder) and activating spiritual beliefs and experiences through which individuals find
existential meaning (Park, 2011).
Beighton and Wills 5
Over the past 20 years there has been a small body of literature that has recognized the positive
contributions, rather than the negative effect, a child with an intellectual disability makes to the
family (Hastings and Taunt, 2002). However, exploring what parents describe or perceive to be
positive and the factors surrounding their occurrence requires further investigation in order to
understand this phenomenon more fully.
Aim of study
The aim of this study is to explore what parents perceive to be the positive aspects of parenting
their child with intellectual disabilities. Its objective is to clarify the nature of any positive aspects
that parents describe. Secondary objectives are to ascertain if any positive aspects identified arise
from parents reframing their experience, which could be considered meaning-focused coping stra-
tegies or if there is a discourse of parenting a child with intellectual disabilities which is positive.
Methods
This qualitative study was undertaken as the first phase of a sequential mixed methods study
(Creswell and Clark, 2007) and is underpinned by the philosophy of pragmatism (Biesta, 2010).
One of the fundamental components of pragmatism is that it is a process of ‘knowing’ the current
situation and through action re-shaping a new reality (Hartrick Doane and Varcoe, 2005).
Ethical approval for this study was granted from the London South Bank University research
ethics committee in September 2013 (UREC 1338). Face-to-face semi-structured interviews were
considered most appropriate as they would be more convenient for carers and allow them to
respond to guided questions (Kvale, 2007; Mays and Pope, 2008) and were undertaken by the first
author. The parents’ own characteristics and attributes and the wider social/psychological envi-
ronment were then explored through a series of questions included in the interview schedule (Box
1). The interviews were audio-recorded and following each interview field notes were written
which included the researcher’s reflections.
The audio files were transcribed verbatim, reviewed for accuracy and potential identifying
features were anonymized. The data were then analysed using a thematic analysis (Braun and
Clarke, 2006) to identify key themes at a semantic level which Boyatzis (1998) describes as not
looking beyond what the participant has said. As the first author had already undertaken a
systematic literature review on the positive aspects of parenting, it was important, while
undertaking the data analysis, to avoid the unconscious ‘seeing’ of data that researchers expect to
find (Crabtree and Miller, 1999) and also not to force the data into preconceived categories,
affecting the confirmability of the findings. Multiple readings of the transcripts and field notes
took place and annotations were added prior to coding. Coding was initially a phrase or a single
word that captured the ‘essence’ of what a positive aspect might be and was undertaken first in
individual transcripts and then across all 17 transcripts. Areas of consensus began to emerge and
cluster as themes in relation to the research question, and the themes were then further clustered
and assigned succinct phrases to describe the meaning that underpinned each theme. The ade-
quacy and appropriateness of the themes were subject to interpretive rigour (Ezzy, 2002) as these
were checked by two other researchers and any discrepancies or disagreements led to all the
research team reading the transcript together and agreeing a coding and theme, increasing the
credibility and trustworthiness of the data interpretation. Following this analysis, the secondary
objective of whether these themes could be considered meaning-focused coping strategies was
6 Journal of Intellectual Disabilities
explored at an interpretive level (Boyatzis, 1998) by scrutinizing the ‘broader meanings of the
themes’ (Patton, 2002).
Participants
Fourteen mothers and five fathers (includes two couples) were recruited through learning disability
partnership boards and local MENCAP (a leading charity for people with ID) organizations from
London boroughs between October 2013 and March 2014. Inclusion criteria for the parent par-
ticipants were that the child they supported had a diagnosis of intellectual disability, parents had to
communicate using English language, be aged over 18 years and that the child was over 5 years of
age and lived in the same household. Between them the participants parented 10 males and 9
females who had a diverse range of intellectual and associated physical disabilities with two
families containing more than one child with intellectual disabilities. Table 2 provides a summary
of the characteristics of the participants and their child (children) at the time of the interview.
Findings
All but one parent chose to be interviewed in their own home and each interview lasted approx-
imately 1 h. Despite the focus of the interviews being to identify the positives of parenting a child
with intellectual disabilities, in every interview a much larger proportion of time was spent by the
parent talking about the negative aspects of parenting their child which is consistent with other
qualitative studies, (Foster et al., 2010; Rapanaro et al., 2008; Skotko et al., 2011). However, only
the positive aspects will be reported here. Six of the overarching themes identified were broadly
similar across the framework of positive themes identified by Hastings and Taunt (2002) however,
one theme was identified from this study which had not been identified by them, the positive effect
the child has on others.
The seven key themes identified covered three broad areas. Intrapersonal factors, those which
have a direct influence on the parent themselves (increased personal strength, changed priorities, a
greater appreciation of life, increased spirituality/religiosity), interpersonal factors; factors that
relate to aspects which exist between persons (more meaningful relationships with others, the
positive effect the child has on others) and one factor where the child is the source of positivity, the
child’s accomplishments. These themes were identified in the transcripts of all parents irrespective
of their gender or the age of the child.
Table 2. Summary of the characteristics of the participants and their child(children).
No Age Gender Ethnicity Marital Status Occupation Age Gender Diagnosis Position in Family
GDD: global developmental delay; ASD, autism spectrum disorder; ID: intellectual disability.
7
8 Journal of Intellectual Disabilities
I wouldn’t be the same person if I didn’t have him, um he’s really made me be more proactive and
confident. I was never like that before and he’s made me, he’s made me pull my socks up and get on
with things. (Parent 13)
Changed priorities
Every parent attributed how their perceptions of what was important in life had changed directly as a
result of having their child, both in the way they approached life revising what was important to
them in life. Personal changes included being less materialistic, less selfish and being more content.
Four of the mothers had changed career paths of which two had become nurses and one a counsellor
and another had given up the well-paid work to study, something she had always wanted to do.
. . . I’ve realised what things are more important than other things, you know, there are things that I
used to think were important and I look back and I think to myself they really had no value at all.
(Parent 5)
I think when you see the world through our sons and daughters eyes it makes it very clear that actually
we’ve got so much to be happy for, be glad for, be grateful for in life. (Parent 13)
Child’s accomplishments
Without exception, every parent spoke about how much they loved their child. They described a
positive aspect as the child’s accomplishments, no matter how small, especially if the child ‘tri-
umphs over adversity’, the pleasure gained from seeing their child accomplish something that they
thought or had been told that they would never be able to do took on a special meaning. These
Beighton and Wills 9
accomplishments ranged from simple things such as just saying a new word, tying a shoelace and
learning to walk to more serious incidents such as surviving serious illness.
I’m saying to myself oh I’m so lucky, for example [childs name] is walking. It’s such a big thing for me,
I don’t care what else is happening in the world, it makes my day to see him walk when they said he
never would. (Parent 7)
Increased spirituality/faith
Three parents described how they had initially ‘lost’ their faith (one permanently) and spoke about
‘refinding’ God as they believed the child had been brought into their lives for a reason. Others
reported taking a more philosophical approach to their situation. Although wondering why this
had happened to them, they accepted that it was ’meant to be’ and were going to get on with
whatever life had in store for them.
. . . because I just say maybe God thought – my belief, my strong belief . . . there got to be a big reason
for this – I don’t know, I came here for her. I say that child needed a mother and that mother was me.
(Parent 6)
I met a group of friends and we are friends to this day, most of them have children with learning
disabilities, we understand what each other is going through . . . . (Parent 1)
The positive I guess the fact that he has improved our friend’s attitude towards learning disabled
because they have seen and they have got to know [child’s name] and he is physically handicapped as
well and it has changed their attitude to other people with disability. (Parent 4)
10 Journal of Intellectual Disabilities
The key themes, sub themes and further illustrative quotes are shown in Table 3. The broader
meaning of each key theme was then scrutinized at an interpretive level (Boyatzis, 1998) and the
transcripts also revisited to ascertain if any of the positive aspects identified arise from parents
reframing their experience which could be considered meaning-focused coping strategies.
Discussion
Joy, hope and pride were the most common terms used to describe their children and are examples
of discrete positive emotions which counteract the physiological effects of negative emotions,
facilitate adaptive coping (Folkman and Moskowitz, 2004) and fuel psychological resiliency
(Fredrickson, 2001). The parents could be filled with ‘hope’ that their child would one day be able
to achieve certain goals and hope in families of children with intellectual disabilities has been
described as ‘a complex intangible in the healing and coping process’ (Kauser et al., 2003: 35).
Love is a compilation of all of these emotions (Fredrickson, 2011) and every parent in this study
spoke about feelings of love for their child and how proud they were when their child achieved
something unexpected.
The parents also spoke about being thankful, grateful and optimistic. Gratitude is a feeling of
thankfulness and is considered a positive emotion and a coping response (Fredrickson, 2004), with
individuals who have higher dispositional gratitude viewing life experiences as more meaningful
and are more likely to use positive reframing strategies to interpret negative experiences (Lambert
et al., 2009), for example, parents being thankful for what they have in life and appreciating the
preciousness of life (Thoits, 1995). Gratitude is also related to dispositional optimism which has
also been positively associated with positive reinterpretation and reports of positive life changes
(Carver et al., 1989) and is the personality characteristic with one of the highest correlations with
well-being (Wood et al., 2007).
Early publications describe how parents were acutely affected by the degree to which their
child with intellectual disabilities was accepted or rejected by the community (Bristol, 1984;
Holroyd, 1974) and more recently (Esdaile, 2009) reported similar findings with mothers of
children with intellectual disabilities seeking to have their children accepted and valued by
others in society. Many families (especially those with older children) remember having to fight
to keep their child at home with them and for them not to be routinely institutionalized and kept
away from the society. Reporting that their child had made a positive impact on others could be
recognition to parents that their child has finally been ‘accepted’, leading them to feel a greater
sense of social connectedness and belonging (Esdaile, 2009) and potentially contributing to the
development of an extended social support system for their child, should it be needed
(Valentine et al., 1998).
Social support is defined as the ‘resources perceived as being available from others in social
networks’ (Lopez-Martinez et al., 2008: 373), and it is suggested that this may promote growth
related to interpersonal relationships and provide positive experiences that bolster positive affect
(Cadell et al., 2003; Tedeschi and Calhoun, 2004). Parents also spoke about gaining and main-
taining informal supportive family and friends networks and also engaging in more formal rela-
tionships with statutory professionals. One unique aspect of parenting a child with intellectual
disabilities is the relationship the parent must enter with formal support services in order to arrange
support services for the child throughout their lifetime. Formal support was found to be as effective
as informal support by parents of children with intellectual disabilities, and the perceived help-
fulness of formal support for parents has emerged as a significant predictor of positive perceptions
Beighton and Wills 11
Increased personal Fight for my child ‘It’s made us both tougher. You need to be tougher and
strength grow thicker skin when your child is disabled or else you
just get trodden on and don’t get anywhere’. (Parent 4)
‘ . . . but it’s taught me if I want something for him, like
from the erm council, I have to find the tools to get there
and not to stop until I get it’. (Parent 7)
Inner strength ‘ . . . but I think this is good for me, I say this is building
me up. This is giving me strength. This is making me a
different person which many people say, ‘You have
changed a lot. You have changed a lot.’ Right now I feel
like I can do anything!’ (Parent 6)
‘That’s the word . . . I’m very headstrong now. I wasn’t
before I had him and he’s made me stronger’. (Parent 11)
Changed priorities Life changing ‘I did a master’s degree you know, and then I thought oh
f*** you I’ll do it, I’ll do a PhD* as well, and I’ll do some
work and I’ll do something else. I’ll do it all! Just finished
my PhD and I’ve dedicated it to her . . . because without
her I wouldn’t be doing it’. (Parent 12)
‘ . . . I do feel that it’s an honour that I’ve had [child’s
name] because I would not be the person I am now. I
would not be as tolerant, I would not be as creative, I
would not be as big a person as I would have been
otherwise. I could not have envisaged the world as I do
now if I hadn’t had him’. (Parent 17)
Material things don’t ‘ . . . I understand now life is important, life is so short
matter and if you have health you don’t need to complain
anymore. For example money is not important, but
health and happiness is important’. (Parent 3)
‘‘Money and all the trappings don’t mean much any more
our priorities have definitely changed . . . ’’ (Parent 9)
‘‘We treasure each day with her, just spending time with
her. Before we had her all we used to worry about was
work, work, work . . . . how naive we were that that’s
what we thought mattered most in our lives’’ (Parent 16)
Greater appreciation Live one day at a time ‘Funny thing to say isn’t it? When I had him I thought I
of life couldn’t live with him and now I couldn’t live one day
without him and with his illness we just enjoy one day at
a time . . . ’ (Parent 10)
‘We live one day at a time, enjoying the best of life we
possibly can . . . .’ (Parent 7)
Simple things mean ‘ . . . we get a lot of pleasure just spending time with
more [child’s name]. We don’t even have to be doing anything
fancy you know, something like just taking her for a walk
in the park, that’s what we enjoy, the simple things. Does
that sound weird’? (Parent 1)
(continued)
12 Journal of Intellectual Disabilities
Table 3. (continued)
(continued)
Beighton and Wills 13
Table 3. (continued)
in parents (Hastings et al., 2002). The importance of social and family support, improved rela-
tionships and friendship with other parents in a similar position have been identified as positive
aspects in a number of studies (Foster et al., 2010; Kimura and Yamazaki 2013; Rapanaro et al.,
2008; Scallan et al., 2011). Parents in this study also spoke about more meaningful relationships
with others by becoming more compassionate, more empathic, less judgmental and having
increased tolerance and understanding towards others (especially those less fortunate than them-
selves) since having their child (Kenny and McGilloway, 2007; Skotko et al., 2011). Compassion is
an empathetic positive emotion and a major source of resilience (Lazarus, 1993).
This study reflects others that have reported parents having a changed outlook on life (Scallan
et al., 2011), identifying things that were considered important before but were not important now,
such as becoming less materialistic and selfish (Kenny and McGilloway, 2007), learning patience
and how to advocate (Skotko et al 2011). As found in other studies, parents described themselves
as becoming better people with changes in their personal beliefs and values (Kearney and Griffin,
2001) and having a greater sense of personal fulfilment (Rapanaro et al., 2008). Three parents
14 Journal of Intellectual Disabilities
described how they now ‘live for the day’, and consistent with other findings they enjoyed the
‘simple things in life’ (Kenny and McGilloway, 2007) like just seeing the child happy (Grant et al.,
1998). This is consistent with meaning-focused coping, where aspects of life move up or down in
priority, allowing individuals to focus on what matters most and letting go of things that are no
longer considered important, deciding ‘there are more important things in life’ and taking actions
to alter some aspect of the ‘self’ such as changing career paths. Positive reappraisal enabled the
parents to reorder their priorities, reconsider their global beliefs and revise their goals and sense of
meaning in life which provided them with a renewed sense of purpose and a ‘new or changed
perspective on life’ (Park, 2010; Wrosch, 2010).
Religion and spirituality play a crucial role in the meaning-making process as they are a core
aspect of global meaning with individuals reappraising their situation as an opportunity for
spiritual growth and feeling closer or reconnecting to God (Park, 2013; Park and Folkman, 1997).
Faith, religious beliefs or spirituality have all been identified as coping mechanisms related to
psychological adjustment to stress (Pargament et al., 1998), and this can also provide psycholo-
gical and emotional support from others such as members of the church (Skinner et al., 2001).
Although some parents in this study spoke about spiritual growth, increased religiosity and
spirituality, this was one of the least reported positive aspects.
Increased personal strength and personal growth have been identified in a number of qualitative
studies (Greer et al., 2006; Kearney and Griffin, 2001; Kimura and Yamazaki, 2013; Rapanaro
et al., 2008; Skotko et al., 2011; Stainton and Besser, 1998). This theme has also been identified as
significant in a number of quantitative studies containing a measure relating specifically to ‘per-
sonal/emotional growth and maturity’ (Foster et al., 2010; Greer et al. 2006; Hastings et al., 2002,
2005; Lakhani et al., 2013; Vilaseca et al., 2014). In a quantitative study comparing mothers and
fathers, mothers reported higher personal growth (Vilaseca et al., 2013) and a longitudinal study
found that mothers of children with intellectual disabilities were more likely to perceive their
parental role as a ‘challenge’, which then became the dominant issue in their lives (Pelchat et al.,
2003).
The parents in this study spoke about focusing on the specific problems or situations and tried
to generate alternative solutions, weighing up the costs and benefits of various actions, taking
control, seeking information from professionals and mastering new knowledge and skills from
this process, which could be construed as an active coping effort that includes positive reframing
strategies (Carver et al., 1989). Revising goals and planning fosters feelings of control and
mastery and generates positive affect (happiness, joy, contentment) (Folkman and Moskowitz,
2000). Having a purpose in life, striving towards new goals and gaining control are problem-
focused coping strategies that rely on the parents’ ability to build on their personal experience
and the expertise they have built up and was also the most commonly reported theme in a
qualitative study of families with children with intellectual disabilities across the child’s lifespan
(Grant and Whittell, 2000).
The parents’ new found strength could also be explained as increased self-efficacy. An obstacle,
such as not being able to access services for their child, could motivate parents with high self-
efficacy to put in greater efforts to pursue and attain these services and exercise control over their
lives, a prerequisite for problem-focused coping. Self-efficacy beliefs have been found to enhance
some dimensions of benefit finding such as personal growth, increased sensitivity to others, and
acceptance of life imperfections (Foster et al., 2010; Luszczynska et al., 2005; Tedeschi and
Calhoun, 2004). Hastings et al. (2002) found that in mothers of children with intellectual dis-
abilities, positive reframing was found to be a predictor of their personal growth and maturity.
Beighton and Wills 15
When asked, not one of the parents was able to offer an alternative word or term that summed up
the positive aspects they were describing and only one parent mentioned the word ‘coping’
throughout the interviews. However, the findings suggest that all the positive themes identified by
the parents contained differing degrees of meaning-focused coping strategies that included positive
reappraisal to deal with solving or changing the perceived cause of stress, revised identity,
increased growth, changed views of the world, and a mixture of problem-focused and support-
seeking adaptive coping strategies to obtain emotional support. These strategies are not distinct
coping styles but are parts of the ‘total coping effort’ that people can draw on to produce the best
adaptational outcomes for themselves (Park and Folkman, 1997). They were consistent with
Folkman (1997) who described four coping strategies associated with searching for and finding
positive meaning, ‘positive reappraisal, goal-directed problem-focused coping, spiritual beliefs
and practices, and the infusion of ordinary events with positive meaning all involve the activation
of beliefs, values, or goals that help define the positive significance of events’ (p. 1215).
The parents in this study found positive meaning in the stressful events of having a child with
intellectual disabilities. They used conscious cognitive effort to produce positive emotions, which
helps buffer against stress and generates experiences of positive emotion and positive affect as a
way of buffering themselves from the distress (Folkman and Moskowitz, 2000). Positive emotions
may also accelerate the individual’s ability to adapt to subsequent stressors (Ong et al., 2006)
which are seen as crucial in helping the individual adapt, cope or sustain efforts with stressful
experiences, such as those associated with caregiving over long periods of time (Folkman and
Moskowitz, 2000; Hastings et al., 2002).
Positive emotions such as happiness, pride, relief, love, hope, compassion and gratitude were
identified in these interviews but this is not unexpected. Lazarus (1993) argues that psychological
stress theory and the theory of emotion are parallel as the two share overlapping ideas and that in
addition to individuals identifying negative emotions as a reaction to stress (anger, anxiety, fright,
guilt, sadness) there are also a small number of positive emotions brought about by a different
appraisal of the personal significance of the stressor as appraised by the person who encounters it.
Experiencing positive emotions promotes people to take creative actions, ideas and social bonds,
which builds their personal resources and psychological growth such as the parent who completed
a doctor of philosophy or the parents who set up support groups, all things they would never have
considered prior to having their child.
The findings suggest that in this study, the transactional stress and coping model (Lazarus and
Folkman, 1987) would be a suitable theoretical framework to underpin the parents positivity. It has
an emphasis on meaning-focused coping, which includes positive reappraisal strategies, whereby
parents search for a meaning for their situation by drawing on their beliefs, values and goals to
search for a more favourable and positive understanding of their situation.
However, this study raises a key question of whether the positive aspects identified by the
parents are an exclusive phenomenon of parenting a child with an intellectual disability or if they
are general adaptive coping strategies used by most people in stressful situations. Almost identical
common themes to those identified by the parents in this study have been found across a wide
range of studies exploring stress-related growth and coping in individuals who have experienced
trauma, bereavement and chronic illness. Similarly, these studies report positive changes in social
relationships, perceiving improved personal strength and self-assurance, and increased spiritual
appreciation and changed priorities in life (Calhoun and Tedeschi, 2006; Joseph and Linley, 2006).
This ‘growth’ is also assumed to arise as a meaning-making process and is referred to inter-
changeably as posttraumatic growth, perceived benefits, adversarial growth and benefit finding
16 Journal of Intellectual Disabilities
(Park, 2013). Blacher and Baker (2007) also argue that these positive aspects are not a unique
phenomenon of parenting a child with intellectual disabilities, as findings from a comparison study
showed similar themes also reported in families with typically developing children. Therefore, it
might be hypothesized that only one theme identified by the parents in this study could be con-
sidered a ‘unique’ positive aspect of parenting a child with intellectual disabilities, ‘the positive
effect that their child has on others’.
intellectual disabilities. Purposive sampling did, however, ensure there was a broad age range of
parents of both genders and from a variety of ethnic and social backgrounds who were at different
stages of the caring lifespan. The range of factors that may influence stress coping such as the
parent’s values, commitments, goals, personality and environmental factors (Lazarus and Folk-
man, 1987) and personality traits such as dispositional optimism, resilience or having high self-
efficacy could not be explored in the study interviews. It is possible, however, that a parent has
always had these characteristics and therefore the reported positive impact that the child has had on
the family simply reflects positive emotion-eliciting coping strategies such as positive reappraisal
that are already possessed (Ong et al., 2006). However, it is unlikely that such individual char-
acteristics would be held by all the families in this study. Parents who may not be able to identify
any positive aspects will not have volunteered to participate, and although every parent spoke
spontaneously at length about the negative aspects of parenting during the interviews, the negatives
were not taken into consideration in the analysis.
While undertaking the thematic analysis, it was not always possible to identify mutually
exclusive sub-themes; hence when assigning statements to thematic categories, some discrepancies
may have occurred. Therefore, future studies should look into refining the methods followed to
identify the themes.
Conclusion
The lives of the parents in this study were changed forever by their child’s diagnosis of intellectual
disability. However, despite every parent acknowledging the daily stresses and strains that par-
enting their child brings, they also found meaning in their situation drawing on their beliefs, values
and goals to search for a more favourable and positive understanding of their situation consistent
with the transactional model of stress and coping.
The aspects they perceived to be positive were multifaceted and related to interpersonal,
intrapersonal and child-related factors. All could be attributed in differing degrees to the use of
meaning-focused coping strategies; however intertwined were also support seeking strategies, self-
efficacy and the use of positive emotions. This demonstrates that parents use more than just a
single coping strategy to find positive meaning in their situation and they are the outcome of
complex cognitive appraisal processes rather than parents simply identifying positive aspects.
Therefore, some parents may benefit from receiving additional professional or therapeutic inter-
ventions to support them to develop adaptive coping and problem-solving skills that would help
build positive emotions and resilience. This could lead to an increase in positive well-being,
reduced depressive symptoms and increased caregiving competence.
Funding
The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
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