Boom Sample Pages
Boom Sample Pages
boom
BY PETER SINN NACHTRIEB
★
DRAMATISTS
PLAY SERVICE
INC.
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boom — NACHTRIEB
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boom
BY PETER SINN NACHTRIEB
DRAMATISTS
PLAY SERVICE
INC.
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BOOM
Copyright © 2008, 2009, Peter Sinn Nachtrieb
The English language stock and amateur stage performance rights in the United States,
its territories, possessions and Canada for BOOM are controlled exclusively by
DRAMATISTS PLAY SERVICE, INC., 440 Park Avenue South, New York, NY
10016. No professional or nonprofessional performance of the Play may be given with-
out obtaining in advance the written permission of DRAMATISTS PLAY SERVICE,
INC., and paying the requisite fee.
Inquiries concerning all other rights should be addressed to Bret Adams, Ltd., 448
West 44th Street, New York, NY 10036. Attn: Mark Orsini.
SPECIAL NOTE
Anyone receiving permission to produce BOOM is required to give credit to the
Author as sole and exclusive Author of the Play on the title page of all programs dis-
tributed in connection with performances of the Play and in all instances in which the
title of the Play appears for purposes of advertising, publicizing or otherwise exploit-
ing the Play and/or a production thereof. The name of the Author must appear on a
separate line, in which no other name appears, immediately beneath the title and in
size of type equal to 50% of the size of the largest, most prominent letter used for the
title of the Play. No person, firm or entity may receive credit larger or more prominent
than that accorded the Author. The following acknowledgments must appear on the
title page in all programs distributed in connection with performances of the Play:
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
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AUTHOR’S NOTE
So, yeah: fish, sex, hiding from impending doom … What a totally
awesome play that would be, I thought to myself approximately
ten years later. Am I right? Totally, right?
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CHARACTERS
PLACE
TIME
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boom
Barbara bursts into the space.
A deep breath.
She puts something on the lab set that should have already
been there. Fish food, maybe. She crosses to her area.
She pulls a big lever that, with a snap, shuts off the lights,
except perhaps an interesting one around her.
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was much nicer than Kansas. For a while. Until, well, until my sis-
ter decided to run outdoors in a hurricane right when a palm tree
decided that it couldn’t stay in the ground anymore, and my mom,
other sister and I moved to Kenya. “Let’s start fresh! Let’s get away
from it all!” my mom said. Although the “all” we were getting away
from apparently didn’t include malaria, and the fevers that malaria
causes and the hallucinations that the fever causes and the hyenas
that wait outside of medical tents ready to pounce on weak young
flesh staggering out in a dream, and soon my mom and I moved here,
where we’ve lived ever since. Except for my mom, who couldn’t have
picked a worse time to go on a tour of un-reinforced masonry in
California. And here I am. (Jules is now in his flannel boxer shorts,
T-shirt, and socks.) Where are you from? (Jo kisses Jules actively,
aggressively, maybe pressing him against a wall. Jules is frozen, stiff, not
responding. Jo stops kissing, steps away. Beat.)
JO. Massachusetts.
JULES. Oh. Nice.
JO. No, it’s not.
JULES. Too many blizzards?
JO. I like snow. (Beat.)
JULES. Which part of Massachusetts?
JO. What was that?
JULES. Worcester?
JO. You said you loved to kiss.
JULES. When?
JO. “I love kissing, body contact, oral sex, and intensely significant
coupling.”
JULES. Oh right.
JO. You wrote that in your ad.
JULES. You remember things.
JO. That was the worst kiss ever.
JULES. It was surprising. I was surprised.
JO. That was a kiss of someone who does not enjoy the feel of lips.
JULES. I was hoping we could talk a little bit first. (Jo smiles.)
JO. I didn’t come here to talk.
JULES. It would help me relax.
JO. Why?
JULES. I’ve never met anyone. This way.
JO. Which way?
JULES. With the help of technology.
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JO. So?
JULES. I’m anxious.
JO. Why?
JULES. It’s abrupt.
JO. And?
JULES. I’ve got some spanakopita. I just heated them up. So
maybe we could — (Jo goes to kiss Jules. He jumps back. Jo and Jules
engage in a little cat-and-mouse. Maybe furniture is involved.)
JO. Come here.
JULES. We should eat them while they’re warm.
JO. This is not a game.
JULES. Warm and flakey.
JO. Sex! Now!
JULES. I appreciate your youthful eagerness, but you should under-
stand that sometimes it takes me — (Jo jumps on Jules, pushes him
onto the ground or futon and gets on top of him.) Holy crap.
JO. Stop thinking.
JULES. But —
JO. Start fucking.
JULES. I —
JO. Make me believe in life!
JULES. I can’t just —
JO. Listen to your instincts!
JULES. I’m a homosexual. (Jo stops. A beat.) I think that’s why I’m
having a difficult time. (Jo gets off of Jules.) I should have mentioned
it earlier.
JO. You didn’t.
JULES. No.
JO. Why didn’t you?
JULES. I thought it would make you not want to come over.
Do you mind if I put my pants back on?
JO. You don’t look gay.
JULES. Clothing-wise?
JO. You don’t have gay eyes.
JULES. I’m wearing contacts right now so —
JO. Did you think I was a man?
JULES. What?
JO. Jo with an e?
JULES. Your name is Jo?
JO. The female spelling.
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a loud noise. Jo instantly collapses to the floor as though she has just been
unplugged.)
JULES. Are you OK? Jo? Hello? (Jules shakes Jo gently. She doesn’t
move. Checks for breathing, pulse. None.) Shoot! Shoot shoot shoot.
(Jules looks around as though maybe someone could help, does that
“emergency situation” shuffle of indecision. Finally, he kneels beside her,
pinches her nose and slowly moves in to do rescue breathing. Jules is
almost over her lips when Barbara flips the switch up. Jo jerks awake.)
JO. AHHHH! (Jules falls back.)
JULES. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.
JO. Motherfucker.
JULES. That was shocking. (Jo sits up, looks at the surroundings sus-
piciously, searching for a cause.) Are you all right?
JO. I hate that question.
JULES. You weren’t breathing.
JO. What’s your point?
JULES. You were yelling at me, about to leave, and then you col-
lapsed and weren’t breathing.
JO. How old is this building?
JULES. Uh, I don’t know. Forty, fifty years?
JO. Is it safe?
JULES. It was designed to be a bomb shelter. I don’t … Do you
need to lie down?
JO. (To herself.) What now?
JULES. I should bring you some water. A pillow. Spanakopita.
JO. (To herself.) Why are you doing this now?
JULES. Has that happened before?
JO. What?
JULES. What just happened.
JO. What just happened?
JULES. I’m being confused.
JO. Do you have bourbon?
JULES. I might.
JO. I’d like some bourbon.
JULES. Are you sure that’s a good —
JO. On the rocks.
JULES. That’s one of the truths of biologists. We always have ice.
To freeze the things we kill.
And for drinks. (Jo pulls out a steno pad from a backpack and
scribbles copious notes. Jules opens a cabinet filled to the brim with plas-
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tic red frat-party cups. Gets two. He opens a cabinet filled to the brim
with bottles of bourbon. He gets a bottle. He opens a stuffed freezer,
retrieves some ice and prepares the drink. Perhaps he presses play on the
iPod. Before returning to Jo with drinks, Jules heads towards the door
and locks the deadbolt, or perhaps some futuristic impressive electronic
locking knob.) So. You go to school?
Here?
What are you majoring in?
JO. Do we have to talk?
JULES. No. No. (Beat.)
JO. Journalism.
JULES. Oh neat! Journalism. That’s really neat.
JO. Yeah, it’s neat.
JULES. What got you into that?
JO. The hair. Newscaster hair.
JULES. (Not hearing.) Oh. That’s great!
JO. Never seen in the real world. Difficult to reproduce. Huge.
That’s powerful.
JULES. Mmm-hmm.
JO. Newscaster hair keeps the public from going insane. A soothing
visual balance to that cruel graphic icon in the corner of the screen,
some artist’s rendering of the worst things. The world may be unrav-
eling at a disturbing pace but lo, the hair is not: noble, reliable,
immobile … it’s the helmet we all need so badly to help us tolerate
another day.
I wanted hair like that. (Jules returns with the drinks, and a plate
of spanakopita.)
JULES. That’s so great to be a journalist. Guardians of the First
Amendment. Protectors of democracy. Deep Throat. What?
JO. You weren’t listening.
JULES. I was making the drinks.
JO. What was I saying?
JULES. The ice was loud.
JO. You just want to talk about you?
JULES. I’m listening now.
JO. So, your family’s dead?
JULES. Pardon?
JO. You have an entire family of dead people? Tornadoes, hyenas,
whatnot.
JULES. Oh. Yes.
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JO. Interesting.
JULES. I mean, of course, with myself. I’m familiar with the gen-
eral sensations.
JO. How do you even know you’re a gay?
JULES. The non-randomness of the erections.
JO. And still you’ve never.
JULES. I don’t know if it’s been a choice.
JO. Yes it has.
JULES. I haven’t found the opportunity.
JO. There are thousands of men out there with low standards.
JULES. I know. Was that meant to be insulting?
JO. You have chosen to only make sweet love to your hand. Just
like you chose to go online, post a misleading ad and have me here
for … why am I really here?
JULES. The future of humanity depends on it. (Barbara dums the
timpani.)
JO. I have a final project for my magazine class: “Find a story in an
unconventional place that uplifts you. Personally. Deeply. Truly.”
JULES. Are we changing subjects?
JO. “The following topics and items may not be used in your uplift-
ing story: the sick, disabled, whales or any animal with fur, sports,
war, poor people getting rich, rich people getting morals, underdogs
in general, or anything that could be celebrated on a card.”
JULES. I used to send those to myself from across town.
JO. “In other words: no tricks. No lies. Find a story that makes
you feel honest, genuine, hope.”
JULES. Neat.
JO. I’m having a hard time with it.
JULES. So … you went online to clear your head —
JO. This is the assignment.
JULES. Oh.
JO. Random sex as the last glimmer of hope in a decaying society.
Everyone feels alone. Betrayed by their friends and families, their
country, their dreams, their own selves. You know?
JULES. (Doesn’t know.) Mmm.
JO. With nowhere to go in their normal depressing lives, people are
forced to turn to the anonymous, the stranger. Alone, on laptops in
isolated homes, a series of emails or an online chat brings two or
more people together for a brief moment in time. No past. No
future. All that matters is the moment.
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