Weddings, Marriages and Divorce of the Roman Empire 1

Running Head: Weddings, Marriages and Divorce of the Roman Empire

Weddings, Marriages and Divorce of the Roman Empire

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1- Marriages
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Unlike the romantic marriages of today, marriage in ancient

Rome was an arrangement between two families. Like much of Roman

society, it was highly structured but also logical and, in some

ways, even modern.

Marriage in Roman times was often not at all romantic.

Rather, it was an agreement between families. Men would usually

marry in their mid-twenties, while women married while they were

still in their early teens. As they reached these ages, their

parents would consult with friends to find suitable partners

that could improve the family’s wealth or class.

Roman women usually married in their early teenage years,

while men waited until they were in their mid-twenties. As a

result, the materfamilias (mother of the family) was usually

much younger than her husband. As was common in Roman society,

while men had the formal power, women exerted influence behind

the scenes. It was accepted that the materfamilias was in charge

of managing the household. In the upper classes, she was also

expected to assist her husband’s career by behaving with

modesty, grace and dignity.

1.1- Governed by law

For this reason, there were specific laws governing

marriage. A proper Roman marriage could not take place unless

bride and groom were Roman citizens, or had been granted special

permission, called “conubium.”

At one point in Roman history, freed slaves had been

forbidden to marry citizens. This restriction was relaxed by

Emperor Augustus who passed a reform in 18 BC called the lex

Julia so that, by the first century, freed slaves were only

prohibited from marrying senators.

Augustus insisted on other restrictions on marriage.

Citizens were not allowed to marry prostitutes or actresses and

provincial officials were not allowed to marry the local women.

Soldiers were only allowed to marry in certain circumstances and

marriages to close relatives were forbidden. Finally, unfaithful

wives divorced by their husbands could not remarry.

1.2- Sealed with a kiss

Assuming that a proposed wedding satisfied these demands,

the process itself was simple. The prospective bride and groom

were committed to marry each other at the betrothal, a formal

ceremony between the two families. Gifts would be exchanged and

the dowry agreed. A written agreement would be signed and the

deal sealed with a kiss.

The date of the wedding itself would be chosen carefully:

some dates were seen as better than others. In general, June was
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the most popular month, although weddings took place throughout

the year.

2- Wedding

Unlike today, wedding had no legal force of its own but was

rather a personal agreement between the bride and groom in the

Roman Empires. As a result, the wedding itself was a mere

formality to prove that the couple intended to live together,

known as “affectio maritalis.”

On the wedding day, the groom would lead a procession to

his bride's family home, where the bride would be escorted by

her bridesmaids to meet her future husband. She would be wearing

a tunica recta a white woven tunic belted with an elaborate

"Knot of Hercules.” She would have carefully arranged hair and

would be wearing an orange wedding veil and orange shoes. After

the marriage contract had been signed, there would be an

enormous feast. The day ended with a noisy procession to the

couple's new home, where the bride was carried over threshold so

she wouldn't trip an especially bad omen. Roman weddings wasn't

a love match. Procreative sex was utilitarian and recreational

sex (which must be kept to a minimum lest it make a man

effeminate) didn't involve one's spouse. Nor was it a ticket to

freedom. When married, a Roman woman was under the jurisdiction

of either her husband or her father, depending on the type of

marriage contracted.

3- Divorce

”In many parts of our law the condition of women is below

that of men,” stated the third-century legal writer Papinian

(D.1.5.9). Examination of the sources for Roman law under the

Empire bears out the basic truth of his statement, while also

revealing that women in the Roman classical period enjoyed

greater property rights and freedom to divorce than did their

American and European counterparts before the twentieth century.

Today it is widely recognized that Roman legal and documentary

sources are an important source of information about women in

the Roman world, and can present a more well-rounded and

accurate picture of women’s lives than classical literature,

which is often tendentious and bound by the conventions of genre.

Roman divorce was as simple as marriage. Just as marriage

was only a declaration of intent to live together, divorce was

just a declaration of a couple’s intent not to live together.

All that the law required was that they declare their wish to

divorce before seven witnesses. Because marriages could be ended

so easily, divorce was common, particularly in the upper

classes. When she divorced, a wife could expect to receive her

dowry back in full and would then return to patria potestas the
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protection of her father. If she had been independent before her

wedding, she would regain her independence upon divorce.

Under the lex Julia, a wife found guilty of adultery in a

special court known as the “quaestio” might sacrifice the return

of half her dowry. However, the law did not recognize adultery

by husbands. Roman society was very much a man’s world.

Reference:
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Florence Dupont, (1994), “Daily Life in Ancient Rome”

Ju Evans Grubbs, (2002), “Women and the Law in the Roman Empire:

A Sourcebook on Marriage, Divorce and Widowhood”