Here's another band 9 sample answer.

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in
order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our
individual freedom.
Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?
It is true that video surveillance has become commonplace in many cities in recent
years. While I understand that critics may see this as an invasion of privacy, I believe
that the benefits do outweigh the drawbacks.
There are two main reasons why people might disapprove of the use of video cameras
in public places. The first objection is that these cameras invade our privacy, in the
sense that we are constantly being watched by the authorities or by private security
firms. Many people find this intrusive and feel that the recording of their movements is a
form of state control that curtails their individual freedom. The second argument against
the proliferation of CCTV cameras is that they are being used as an alternative to police
officers patrolling the streets. If this is indeed happening, then it is unlikely that members
of the public will feel safer.
In spite of the drawbacks mentioned above, I believe that the use of video cameras to
monitor public areas is a positive measure. The key objective of video surveillance is to
deter criminals and to prevent crime. For example, petty criminals like shoplifters and
pickpockets are less likely to operate in parts of cities where they know that they are
being watched. At the same time, when crimes are committed, the police can use video
evidence to catch and prosecute offenders. Therefore, in my view, video cameras offer
valuable support to police officers, and they make cities safer for inhabitants, workers
and visitors alike.
In conclusion, it seems to me that we gain more than we lose from the enhanced
security that CCTV cameras bring to our cities.
IELTS Writing Task 2: festivals essay
Read the full essay that my students and I wrote for the 'festivals' question below. Can
you highlight the features that help this essay to get a band 9?
Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals;
during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what
extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Some people argue that we no longer remember the original meaning of festivals, and
that most of us treat them as opportunities to have fun. While I agree that enjoyment
seems to be the priority during festival times, I do not agree that people have forgotten
what these festivals mean.
On the one hand, religious and traditional festivals have certainly become times for
celebration. In the UK, Christmas is a good example of a festival period when people
are most concerned with shopping, giving and receiving presents, decorating their
homes and enjoying traditional meals with their families. Most people look forward to
Christmas as a holiday period, rather than a time to practise religion. Similar behaviour
can be seen during non-religious festivals, such as Bonfire Night. People associate this
occasion with making fires, watching firework displays, and perhaps going to large
events in local parks; in other words, enjoyment is people’s primary goal.
However, I disagree with the idea that the underlying meaning of such festivals has
been forgotten. In UK primary schools, children learn in detail about the religious
reasons for celebrating Christmas, Easter and a variety of festivals in other religions.
For example, in late December, children sing Christmas songs which have a religious
content, and they may even perform nativity plays telling the story of Jesus’ birth.
Families also play a role in passing knowledge of religious festivals’ deeper significance
on to the next generation. The same is true for festivals that have a historical
background, such as Bonfire Night or Halloween, in the sense that people generally
learn the stories behind these occasions at an early age.
In conclusion, although people mainly want to enjoy themselves during festivals, I
believe that they are still aware of the reasons for these celebrations.
(296 words, band 9)
The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people
should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are
not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
It is true that many older people believe in traditional values that often seem
incompatible with the needs of younger people. While I agree that some traditional
ideas are outdated, I believe that others are still useful and should not be forgotten.
On the one hand, many of the ideas that elderly people have about life are becoming
less relevant for younger people. In the past, for example, people were advised to learn
a profession and find a secure job for life, but today’s workers expect much more variety
and diversity from their careers. At the same time, the ‘rules’ around relationships are
being eroded as young adults make their own choices about who and when to marry.
But perhaps the greatest disparity between the generations can be seen in their
attitudes towards gender roles. The traditional roles of men and women, as
breadwinners and housewives, are no longer accepted as necessary or appropriate by
most younger people.
On the other hand, some traditional views and values are certainly applicable to the
modern world. For example, older generations attach great importance to working hard,
doing one’s best, and taking pride in one’s work, and these behaviours can surely
benefit young people as they enter today’s competitive job market. Other characteristics
that are perhaps seen as traditional are politeness and good manners. In our globalised
world, young adults can expect to come into contact with people from a huge variety of
backgrounds, and it is more important than ever to treat others with respect. Finally, I
believe that young people would lead happier lives if they had a more ‘old-fashioned’
sense of community and neighbourliness.
In conclusion, although the views of older people may sometimes seem unhelpful in
today’s world, we should not dismiss all traditional ideas as irrelevant.
(299 words, band 9)
IELTS Writing Task 2: ‘disagree’ essay with both sides

Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain

the most important source of news. Do you agree or disagree?

Essay plan:

After brainstorming ideas, we numbered them 1 to 5 (in red) for the 5 sentences that

we wanted to write for each paragraph.

1) Introduction:

topic - will newspapers continue to be main source of news?

answer - disagree, because Internet will be equally important

2) Main paragraph about 1 newspapers continuing to be important

- 2 traditional, always popular

- 2 not everyone has access or wants to use Internet, 3 e.g. old people, rural areas,

developing countries

- 4 quality of news - editing, professional journalists, trust - Internet isn’t always reliable,

newspapers are worth paying for

- 5 hard copy - experience of reading a paper

3) Main paragraph about 1 Internet becoming equally important

- 2 faster access, gadgets, phones, wherever you are, younger generations, easy, most

people have skills, cheaper

- 5 less damaging to environment

- 3 sharing news with friends, search for particular news, discuss with other readers, give

your views, join in, anyone can contribute, variety of platforms for news 4 e.g. blogs,

posts on social news, Twitter, videos

4) Conclusion: repeat / summarise the overall answer

Note:

Compare the above plan with the full essay on the next page. Notice how we used the
numbered ideas (1 to 5) to write 5 sentences for each paragraph.

ielts-simon.com

Full essay:

The Internet is beginning to rival newspapers as the best place to find information about

what is happening in the world. I believe that this trend will continue, and the Internet will

soon be just as important as the traditional press.

On the one hand, I believe that newspapers will continue to be a vital source of

information, even in the Internet age. Firstly, newspapers are the most traditional means of

communicating the news, and not everyone wants to or is able to use the Internet instead.

For example, old people or those in rural areas might not have the ability or opportunity to

get online, while many of us simply prefer newspapers even if we do have Internet access.

Secondly, newspapers can be trusted as reliable sources of news because they employ

professional journalists and editors. Finally, many people like the experience of holding

and reading a paper rather than looking at a computer screen.

However, the Internet is likely to become just as popular as newspapers for a variety of

reasons. The main reason is that it allows us much faster access to news in real time and

wherever we are, on different gadgets and mobile devices. Another key benefit of online

news compared to newspapers is the ability to share articles, discuss them with other

people, give our views, and even contribute with our own updates on social media. For

example, there has been an explosion in the use of platforms like Twitter and YouTube

where anyone can share their news and views. A final point is that this source of news is

less damaging to the environment.

In conclusion, I disagree with the view that newspapers will continue to be the main source

of news, because I believe that the Internet will soon be equally important.

(300 words, band 9)

IELTS Writing Task 2: from plan to paragraph

When you have written a plan, you then need to turn your notes into full sentences.
Let's try this using the paragraph plan below.
Paragraph plan:
- High street shops are disappearing because of online stores.
- Online shopping is faster, cheaper and more convenient.
- People can sit at home, search for deals, receive delivery the next day.
- It is impossible for normal stores to compete with the range of choice.
- Personal example: recent purchases on Amazon.
Full paragraph:
In my opinion, high street shops are disappearing due to competition from online
shopping websites, which are cheaper and more convenient. Web-based stores allow
customers to search for the best deals, make purchases from the comfort of their
homes, and receive delivery of their purchased items the next day. Furthermore, it is
impossible for traditional bricks-and-mortar stores to compete with the range of choice
that can be found online. For example, I recently used the website Amazon to buy some
fairly rare academic textbooks that were not stocked at my local bookshop. As a
customer, the fact that I can find any product imaginable online makes it almost
pointless for me to make a trip to my local high street.
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a
successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after
school.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
When they finish school, teenagers face the dilemma of whether to get a job or continue
their education. While there are some benefits to getting a job straight after school, I
would argue that it is better to go to college or university.
The option to start work straight after school is attractive for several reasons. Many
young people want to start earning money as soon as possible. In this way, they can
become independent, and they will be able to afford their own house or start a family. In
terms of their career, young people who decide to find work, rather than continue their
studies, may progress more quickly. They will have the chance to gain real experience
and learn practical skills related to their chosen profession. This may lead to promotions
and a successful career.
On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial for students to continue their
studies. Firstly, academic qualifications are required in many professions. For example,
it is impossible to become a doctor, teacher or lawyer without having the relevant
degree. As a result, university graduates have access to more and better job
opportunities, and they tend to earn higher salaries than those with fewer qualifications.
Secondly, the job market is becoming increasingly competitive, and sometimes there
are hundreds of applicants for one position in a company. Young people who do not
have qualifications from a university or college will not be able to compete.
For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that students are more likely to be
successful in their careers if they continue their studies beyond school level.
(271 words, band 9)
IELTS Writing Task 2: a rare 5-paragraph essay
I almost always write 4 paragraphs, but sometimes the question requires a different
approach. For example, a student asked me to return to the question below (from
Cambridge IELTS 4). I wrote a couple of lessons about this topic back in 2012, but we
didn't finish the full essay.
Compare the advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as media
for communicating information. State which you consider to be the most
effective.
 comics
 books
 radio
 television
 film
 theatre

Here are my three main body paragraphs.

Can you add the introduction and conclusion?
The main advantage of books is that they are usually considered to be reliable sources
of information. People tend to refer to books when they want to research a subject in
depth, and for this reason they continue to play an important role in education. On the
other hand, books quickly go out of date, and therefore they are not the best medium for
communicating news stories.
Radio is a much more effective medium than books for the communication of up-to-date
information. We can listen to news broadcasts about events as they happen, and a key
benefit of radio is that we can listen to it while doing other activities, such as driving or
working. The main drawback of radio, when compared to books or television, is that
there is no visual element; we cannot see what the broadcaster is describing.
In my opinion, television is the most effective of these three media because it brings us
closer to reality than a book or radio programme ever can. For example, we can watch
events as they take place on the other side of the world, or we can see the body
language of a politician who is being interviewed. The disadvantages of television are
that programmes tend to be short and interrupted by advertisements, meaning that
information is presented in limited depth.