Peaceful Dumpling

What is Tantra, Really? + Tips for Your

Own Tantric Play
 Jessica Renae

5 years ago

In our culture, the concept of Tantra is associated with taboo kink and alternative sex. But in
reality, the sexual aspect is minimal to the true understanding of what Tantra really is.

Tantra is an alternative worldview and spiritual practice that at its core is about the union of
Shiva (Lord Shiva), the ground being and masculine principle, and Shakti (the Goddess Shakti),
the feminine counterpart which is understood as the energy that makes up the universe. These
two forces are joined in perfect union to make up the universe and keep it in balance and in
harmony. While this is just a base understanding of Tantra, this union is the primary focus of this
spirituality. These principles are based on each other’s opposite yet complementary partner
(Shiva, the unmanifested consciousness, Shakti, the manifested energy). Their connection to one
another forms the cosmos, or simply put their unity is what births the universe.

 
One of Tantra’s meanings is “to weave,” that we are all, as a universe, part of this interconnected
fabric which through our manifested energy seems to change and evolve, and from
which everything seems to emerge and separate from each other. At the consciousness level, we
are not different from each other. We are all part of the same thread that weaves the fabric; we
are all one in the same.

Sex in Tantra can be traced back to this union, where Shiva is implanted in Shakti. Sexual rituals
in Tantra had originally been centered around the guru-disciple relationship, where, I kid you
not, a disciple would drink the semen of the guru as a form of initiation, among other
transformative bodily concoctions. Modern Tantra is not as hardcore as the early days, with less
of a focus on the sexual rituals and more of a focus on this union with meditation, visualization
and yoga.

And while tantric sex may appear removed from the authentic tantrika movement and more like
a hip, new age trend, I do feel that the sexual experience should not be separate from our
spirituality. The Shiva/Shakti union when fully present within the sexual experience can actually
advance our spirituality and enlighten us. Here are a few tips on how to incorporate Tantra into
your sex life for a richer, more spiritually conscious sexual experience.

1. Visualize
Before having sex, sit comfortably facing your partner and stare at each other, zoning in on each
other’s third eye, where your intuition rests. Visualize the third eye between your partner’s eyes .
Focus on nothing but that third eye, seeing into your partner’s soul and dreams.
2. Chant mantras
Before, during, or after sex, chant mantras to help awaken and stabilize the energy you are
cultivating. I suggest chanting a series of different mantras to help enhance the experience. You
can chant “Aum” repeatedly and bring the universe into your lovemaking. In addition, chant
Shiva and Shakti’s mantras to fully bring their divinity into your experience.

Shiva mantra:
Om Namah Shivaya

Shakti mantra:
ADI SHAKTI, ADI SHAKTI, ADI SHAKTI, NAMO NAMO,
SARAB SHAKTI, SARAB SHAKTI, SARAB SHAKTI, NAMO NAMO,
PRITHUM BHAGAWATI, PRITHUM BHAGAWATI, PRITHUM BHAGAWATI,
NAMO NAMO,
KUNDALINI, MATA SHAKTI, MATA SHAKTI, NAMO, NAMO.

3. Channel Kundalini
Kundalini is the dormant serpent energy associated within the Divine Feminine or Shakti, that
when uncoiled and awakened moves from the base of our spine like a wave through our bodies
opening up each chakra and spilling out the crown of our head in a burst of enlightenment.
Channel each other’s Kundalini energy by awakening each other’s chakras through touch. Place
your hand on your partner’s root chakra, while your partner simultaneously touches you; feel the
energetic warmth exude and chant together the mantra associated with this chakra, “LAM,”
visualize the color red associated with the root and then move your hands to the sacral chakra
repeating the process again. Continue this until you have reached the crown chakra. Optionally,
allow your partner to kiss each chakra as a way of opening the chakras instead. Full list of
chakras’ sounds, colors, and locations below.

Root chakra: located at the base of spine, sound is “LAM,” color is red
Sacral chakra: located at the lower abdomen, sound is “VAM,” color is orange
Solar plexus chakra: located at the upper abdomen, sound is “RAM,” color is yellow
Heart chakra: located at the center of the chest, sound is “YAM,” color is green
Throat chakra: located at the throat, sound is “HAM,” color is blue
Third eye chakra: located at the forehead between the eyes, sound is “SHAM,” color is indigo
Crown chakra: located at the top of the head, sound is “AUM,” color is violet

4. Become the Divine Couple

Part of Tantra is seeing ourselves as divine, that we as part of this woven fabric have Shiva and
Shakti already within us. Divine power is accessible inside us. Let it come out when having sex.
Think of one of you as Shakti and the other as Shiva, and that you are joining forces to create the
cosmos simply through your connection. See yourselves as these divine beings, and see each
other as god and goddess.

Related: Yoga for a Better Sex Life

How to Embrace Your Sexuality in a Healthy Way

Also by Jessica Renae: Letting Go of First Love

 4 Ways to Bring More Peace into Your Life

__

Photo: Alice Popkorn via Flickr

Categories: Balance, Wellness

Tags: balance, libido, love, sexy, wellness, yoga

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BALANCE, WELLNESS

How To Embrace Your Sexuality In A Healthy Way

byQuincy Malesovas Wednesday, October 2, 2019
 How do you express your sexuality?

MY LATEST VIDEOS

What’s the big deal about sexuality? It evokes such emotional responses whenever it is brought
up. Sexuality is presented in extremes in our culture: either you’re a “wife material” (or husband
material), or have “too much” sexual desire. Either you are a “prude” or a “slut.” It’s no wonder
women are so confused–there are mixed messages everywhere we turn. This makes it difficult
for women to embrace our bodies and express ourselves sexually in a non-
judgmental, positive way.

The good news is that this can be fixed. It doesn’t matter what your stance on sex is, or whether
you’re in a relationship. When it all boils down, sexuality is really about embracing yourself in
every aspect–mind, body, soul. It’s about finding your attractive qualities and feeling confident
in them. Every being is sexual–there should be no shame or judgement in that. So follow these
tips and tricks to find your inner sexual being and let her loose.

How to Express Your Sexuality in a Healthy Way

1. Do things that make you feel good.

This is an absolute must. What makes you feel beautiful, sensual or just plain confident? This
could be taking a bubble bath, going on a sunset stroll… How about candlelight yoga paired with
your favorite mellow tunes? (This is my personal go-to). For most of our day, we concentrate our
energies in our heads rather than our physical senses. Give yourself time to focus on the body,
and give way to your senses.
2. Look at yourself naked.

Most of us limit our time spent undressed, often times out of shame, embarrassment, or
insecurity. The body is natural, functional, and amazing. Admiring those qualities should not be
taboo. The more time you spend naked, the more comfortable you will be with the idea–and,
most likely, with your body. Simply look at yourself in front of the mirror. Try to eliminate
body-negative thoughts and try to focus on what you love about yourself. This can help condition
you to see yourself in a more positive light.

3. Get comfortable with the idea of being single (even if you’re not).

As cliché as it is, you really don’t need someone else to make you feel whole or loved. You can
achieve this completely on your own. That is not to say that relationships aren’t important,
because they totally can be. But what’s more important is building up the relationship you have
with yourself.

4. Touch and be touched.

All touch sensations are engaging and nourishing to your body, whether it’s erotic, platonic, or
just therapeutic. Give hugs, get massages. Once again, this is really about gaining comfort with
yourself. You will learn to open yourself up to intimacy, on both the giving and receiving ends.
Touch is so vital to how we feel and even how we perceive the world round us. The more we
expose ourselves to touch, the more comfortable we become with it. The same is true if we go
without touch–we can easily become frigid and mentally want to avoid contact (even though this
is what the body craves).

5. Keep lists of what you like.

Learn to listen to your instincts and  acknowledge your desires, no matter how crazy or
embarrassing you think they may be. Write them all down and then commit to them. Maybe not
all at once, but a little at a time you can begin to assert your wants and actually heed them. It
doesn’t matter whether a romantic partner is involved or not–this exercise is helpful for anyone
because you will become more conscious of your wishes and more willing to put them into
practice.

6. Eliminate media (or at least free yourself from its “standards”).

There are so many false ideas out there about how sex and sexuality “should” be. The truth is
that most of what is in movies is not very representative of real life. Sexuality is so utterly
complex. It can be very fluid and very gray, so comparing your experiences never turns out well.
Not to mention the fact that media overload can desensitize us sexually. Sexuality can be just as
mental as it is physical, so let your mind wander and your creativity flow. Dream up your own
ideas of what sexuality looks like to you and reject societal norms if you don’t feel like they fit
within your life.
7. Learn about sex positivity.

I recommend reading Janet Hardy’s The Ethical Slut, and Lisa Taddeo’s Three Women,  and any
other book you’re attracted to in sexuality corner of your local bookstore. Or try listening to
podcasts like Why Are People Into That?!  that open up scintillating dialogues about sex topics.

These are just a few recommendations,some of which I have personally had positive experiences
with. But I would love to hear from you as well! Are there any other ways that you have found
helpful for embracing your sexual entity?

Related: How to Be a Phenomenal Woman

My #NomakeupSelfie

By Quincy: Taste of My Childhood – Raw Vegan Egg Cream

10 Reasons You Should Plant a Garden This Spring

This article was first published on April 2, 2014 and most recently updated on October 2, 2019.

Photo: Vlture via Flickr

 Bio

Quincy Malesovas
Quincy is an NC-based college student who is passionate about leading a healthy and compassionate
life. Aside from classes, she fills her time with cooking, writing, travel, and yoga. You can find more from
her on her blog Shugurcän and on Instagram.

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