I FELL INLOVE WITH

A BLIND MAN

Introduction
Waking up has always been a
challenge for me. It’s pretty
much the reason why I was
always late for school, why I got
expelled twice in high school.
Everyone had just gotten used to
my very abnormal late disorder,
it’s really what they call African
time. You tell me to meet you at
11, I'll arrive an hour later. I'm
not punctual at all. I was
supposed to be at work about an
hour ago but I'm still quickly
driving there but traffic is just
not on my side today. After a long
exhausting 15mins I get to work
and quickly put my apron on and
rush to the workers room so the
manager won't see me.
Manager: Nosipho! Nosipho!
Shit, he saw me and he looks
furious.
Me: I'm so sorry, my cat died this
morning and I had to go bury it
and I lost track of time.
Manager: Didn't your cat die last
week?
Argh! I've used this line before!
Me: I had two cats, they are
both dead now.
Manager: Go to the head office,
the boss is waiting for you.
I've never even seen the boss
ever since I started working here
about a month ago. I know the
procedure, I'm going to get fired
again. I've been fired so many
times it doesn't even hurt me
anymore. I bump my head on the
door and curse.
Boss: You're such a mess for a
beautiful lady like you.
I smile while I rub my forehead.
Boss: I'm sorry this has to
happen but you're fired Nosipho.
You're always late for work, you're
clumsy and break almost every
equipment there is. Trust me,
You're a good cook, best we've
ever had but you're more of a
curse than a blessing. This is the
salary you were going to get this
month. Please leave with
immediate effect.
I took the money and slowly
walked out, I didn't even say
goodbye to any off my colleagues
well ex-colleagues. Well bye bye to
my chef job that I had. I failed
to be a librarian, I failed to be a
waitress, I failed to be a chef
and whats next? There has to be
something cause I need a job. I'm
damn 25years old, I need a good
job. Thing is, I don't even want to
work but my parents have cut me
off. They said its time I knew
how to take care of myself. I
don't blame them, I've been spoilt
since I was born. I couldnt even
do my own laundry till the past
few months. I only knew how to
cook when they tossed me in some
apartment in Glenwood and took
my BMW and they have me a
small Kia Picanto. Its a three
bedroom apartment which I had
to pay for on my own till I got a
roommate which is my cousin and
I pay for the fuel in my car. Mind
you, I still need to buy groceries
and my personal stuff. How am I
going to do that without even
having a job? Even if I call my
parents my father will say,
Nosipho, find yourself and find
your purpose in life. What is my
purpose in life? I'm just a clumsy,
disorganized, lazy and boring
young lady. I'm thick and short,
very dark in skin colour and I
have long hair, I call it my
natural weave. I'm 25 years old,
born on the 1st of January and
the only child whom her parents
have left in the woods to
struggle while they enjoy life in
Mhlanga and I'm in Glenwood. My
name is Nosipho Bilose and this is
my story.
I had to spent the rest of the
day yesterday being shouted at by
Ntombi, my cousin, about not
having a job. Its not my fault
that I've hardly kept a job for a
month or two weeks and she's
been on one job for two years
while studying. I don't have any
degree, when I finished high
school I was literally done with
school. I failed Matric and put no
effort into upgrading or
whatever. Not all of us are
academically gifted, I failed grade
11 and I had to repeat it, that
was the worst year of my life. I
hate school with everything inside
of me. I did my morning routine
and took my CV, I know I won't
get a job I'm just doing it for the
sake of doing something and
hoping a miracle happens cause I
also wouldn't hire me if I saw
this CV and called previous
employers as references cause
they have nothing good to say
about me. I drove around
restaurants and the first one I
went to, they were hiring but the
manager asked me "Are you
seriously looking for a job, people
who are serious about jobs don't
come looking for one at this time
and dressed like that." Like what
was wrong with looking for a job
at 1pm and wearing airforce
sneakers, gucci tshirt and parada
bag? These are my normal
everyday clothes. He made it
seem like I'm some snob. And I
would never wake up at 6am just
to look for a job, I'd rather not
work. Most resturants I went to,
they judged me or my CV and some
just didn't even let me speak.
Me: This is the last one and I'm
done!
I was starving and tired. I
parked my car and went in, this
time I decided to leave the
expensive bag in my car and
walked in. It looked like a very
beautiful and high standardized
restaurant.
Waiter: May I help you Mam?
Me: Hi, I'm looking for your
manager or your boss. Someone
who does the hiring around here.
Waiter: Let me take you to the
office, follow me.
I thanked him and followed him
to the office when we got there,
there were two men in black suits
both wearing black shades and
the other one was standing next
to the one sitting on the chair.
Maybe its the boss and his
bodyguard.
Me: Good Afternoon gentlemen.
Silence...
Silence...
Silence...
I cleared my throat and still they
didn't respond. Could my day get
any worse than it already is? I
stood up but the guy sitting down
spoke
Him: Sit down
Guy2: You heard the boss, sit
down.
I sat my ass down and looked at
these idoits.
Boss: What do you want young
lady?
Me: I'm looking for a job
I handed over my CV and the
bodyguard took it and went
through it, its not much. Its just
a single page.
Bodyguard: It doesnt look good at
all boss
Boss: What do you want to do?
Me: Be a chef here, I was a chef
on my last job
Boss: And how long did it last?
Me: A month
Boss: Why?
Me: Lets just say I'm a bit too
clumsy but I'm good at what I
do.
The man just stared into space, I
can't even see his eyes with these
shades on. They spoke among
themselves in a language I don't
even know. They just laughed and
I assumed they were laughing at
me, I was beginning to be
irritated but I needed the job.
The bodyguard made a call and
passed it over to the boss, can't
he use his own hands?
After the call he had a smile on
his face.
Boss: You did say you were clumsy
but breaking the entire
restaurant equipment, isn't that
a bit too much?
Me: Shaun is exaggerating, he
didn't even like me that much.
Boss: Interesting. I have a job
for you but not in my restaurant,
I can't risk having my equipment
damaged.
Me: What job?
Boss: You'll be my personal chef,
that way you won't have to wake
up early to go to work and you'll
be in a comfortable working space.
Me: I'm happy with that.
Boss: Can you even cook? I don't
trust you at all
I laughed at him and we spoke
for a while. He was just an open
person, easy to talk to and very
calm.
Boss: Lets go to the kitchen and
you can cook something quick for
me and I'll know if I can trust
you or not.
Me: I'm fine with that.
This man is giving me a chance, I
have to do this right and not
mess up. He stood up and took a
well polished black stick, it didn't
seem like a walking stick and he
wasn't even limping maybe he just
uses it to go with the look, classic
man maybe? I followed them to
the restaurants kitchen and he
gave me ingredients and stood
next to me while I chopped the
vegetables what caught me off
guard was how he used his hand
to feel how I've cut the carrots,
couldn't he just look?
Boss: I like them cut straight,
1st impression.
I laughed and he didn't seem to
be watching me but he seemed to
be so attentive. After I was done
with his spaghetti with
meatballs and veges he took a
deep breath inhaling the smell of
it and walked out. I followed him
with the bowl to his office, I was
confused. Isn't he going to eat?
Me: You could taste the food Sir
Boss: I don't eat in public places
Weird, but he's in his office. No
one will see him if that's what
he's worried about. I didn't ask
any questions and he gave me
details of where I should come
tomorrow at 9am, atleast its not
7am. I hope I won't be that
late. I took my car keys and left
thinking about this weird
encounter with this weird man I'll
be working for. Theres just
something about him that I
didn't know how to explain it or
pinpoint about him but there's
just something I'm not getting
about this man. I got home and
took a long bath relaxing my body
and my thoughts were just on
this new job I had to do. The man
was handsome but I didn't see
his eyes, he might even be more
attractive when I see his eyes.
He seemed old though so he's not
a factor, he's probably married
and has 20kids. After my shower
I took my file and sorted it out, it
has recipes for breakfast lunch
and supper. I had to get his meal
plan and sort everything out, one
thing I was passionate about
was cooking and I wanted to
make sure I don't mess this
opportunity so I slept early so I
could be on time and not
disappoint my new boss and
myself.

Insert 1
Sleeping early didn't really help
but I was not as late as I
usually am. Its around 9:10am
and I'm driving to Hillcrest trying
to get to this mans house as
quickly as possible. I was using
GPS to locate his house and damn
was it big, maybe I got the
wrong place. I checked the
address again and it was the
same one. The eletronic gate
opened and I drove in but security
stopped me.
Security: Your name and surname
mam?
Me: Nosipho Bilose.
They have me a piece of paper to
write down and some book where
I signed and wrote the time I
arrived here. My finger prints
were taken and a picture of me
too. What an exaggerated
security procedure. I drove to the
parking lot and my car was so
small amongst the big cars that
were parked here. I took my bag
and file then went to knock on the
door. I was shocked when the
door just opened and no one was
there, is it electronic too? I
entered and then realised I
should take off my shoes, there
was a shoe rack near the door and
white fluffy socks hung next to it,
they looked very new. So I took
off my sneakers and wore the
socks. Some lady came by, she
seemed like she was my age
dressed in a cleaners uniform and
she had a name tag on, her name
is Bonnie.
Bonnie: Hi, follow me please.
I followed her and along the way
a bunch of people were moving
around cleaning and some moving
furniture. The house was so clean
and fresh, I felt like I'm just
going to disturb the peace here.
Everyone was working silently and
some musical instruments were
playing. Are we in heaven? It
was just such a beautiful peaceful
house, everything was just mostly
white and there were green art
pieces and some places painted in
black and grey. Bonnie led me to
the kitchen and gave me a
something that looked like a menu
and a book full of ingredients.
Bonnie: Mr Zondi has his
breakfast at 10am, exactly.
I nodded and looked through,
atleast breakfast seems simple.
The lunch and supper is what I'm
worried about, I'm not one who
has cooked Italian food but I will
try. The kitchen is so clean, I'm
scared to even touch anything and
mostly, I don't even know where
the stove is. I kept looking
around. I walked around the
house looking for Bonnie and luckily
I found her
Me: Bonnie, please show me the
stove.
She giggled and I followed her
back to the kitchen. She pressed
a button and the white cupboards
shifted and the stove appeared.
I would've never been able to
figure that out. I opened the
fridge and my stomach just
grumbled, so much food in here
and it just happens to be mostly
my favourites. I took out what I
needed and started cooking. It
was simple breakfast, bacon,
eggs, cheese grillers, toast and
baked beans. I dropped the pan
when he came down the stairs
followed by his bodyguard, he was
wearing sweatpants and a long
sleeve tight t-shirt.
Him: Nosipho
I couldn't even respond, they
passed by and I was left to clean
up my mess. It was just 10mins
to 10am and I was almost done.
I put everything on his serving
table and waited till it was 10am
exactly while I boiled the water.
I didn't even know where he is,
where was I going to take this
food? The was a little bell next to
me and I took it and rang it. I
was shocked when some workers
came immediately to the kitchen.
He's bodyguard came rushing to
me and he looked angry. He's name
tag was written Menzi
Menzi: Its okay everyone can go
back to whatever they were
doing. Nosipho, this is not for you
to use. Only Mr Zondi uses these,
so if you come across one again,
don't use it.
He stormed out and I rang the
bell again, he was so irritated
Me: Where do I take his food?
Menzi: Follow me!
I wheeled the table and it was
heavy, I really struggled with
pushing it and Menzi moved me
and did it himself while I held the
hotwater kettle.
Me: Thank you
Menzi: Whatever
Ouch, okay he doesn't like me. I
served them and then Mr Zondi
gave me a contract and they
asked me to excuse them. I made
myself food and sat down on the
porch outside and read my
contract, I was getting paid R20
000 a month, just cooking for him!
Wow I was happy and I signed
the contract. What alarmed me
more after signing the contract
was that I was on call 24/7
even if he called me at 1am I
would have to come cook for him,
such bullshit. I have a life too. I
had nothing to do till 12, lunch
time. I scrolled on my phone and
there was free Wi-Fi here. Yey!
Best job ever. I was on the gram
when my phone rang and it was
an unknown number
Me: Hello
Voice: Come to the kitchen.
I quickly stood up and rushed to
the kitchen and he was standing
there with the black stick again,
I haven't seen him limping or
anything and he always has his
shades on.
Me: You called for me Sir
Him: The name is Kwanele Zondi.
Me: I'd prefare to call you Mr
Zondi
Kwanele: Suit yourself, breakfast
was delicious. Thank you
With that said he walked away, I
noticed he walked like a robot, its
like he calculates his steps and it
all just seemed weird, he tapped
his stick on the floor a few times
and calculated his steps again. Is
he a robot?
I went back outside and sat till I
went back and cooked lunch. It
wasn't as hard as I thought it
would. Mind you, I wasn't only
cooking for him this time, I was
cooking for everyone in this house.
The staff here is like 20people,
plus him and Menzi and myself
included so I was cooking for
about 23 people. A lady named
Khanya helped me set up his
table; apparently we eat at our
own table which is downstairs and
he and Menzi eat alone upstairs.
We prepared everything and they
sat down, they don't eat until we
leave. I wonder why? I follow
Khanya and we get downstairs
and I meet the other workers
and everyone dishes up for
themselves. I sit in the middle of
Khanya and Bonnie. People
compliment my cooking and I
thank them.
Me: How is it like working for Mr
Zondi?
Bonnie: A breeze, he's just a man
of a few words. I've only spoken
to him maybe twice. You work
well, he pays you well.
Khanya: That's true
Me: He's always with that
bodyguard of his?
Khanya: Bodyguard?
Me: Yes, Menzi.
Bonnie:(laughs) Menzi is not his
bodyguard. He's more like he's
right hand man, he can't see so
he needs someone to assist him
24/7
Me: What do you mean he can't
see?
Khanya: You didn't know? Mr Zondi
is blind.
Silence...
Silence...
Silence...
Me: Oh I didn't notice.
It makes sense now, the stick
isn't for walking but its for blind
people. The black shades are
actually he's medical spectacles.
The calculated steps, everything
just seems to make sense now.
Why he let Menzi read my CV and
how Menzi dials numbers for him
on the phone? The man is blind, oh
God. I would've never thought of
this. It's actually just so sad,
maybe he has never even seen
Menzi's face yet it seems like he
trusts Menzi with everything.
Bonnie: He's a very intelligent
man, you could never say he's blind.
He does do some things himself.
My mind was not even here
anymore, we cleaned up and I
went outside and chilled at the
garden while I read a book. I saw
him walking around the garden
alone, Menzi was sitting on the
chairs outside looking at him.
Perhaps he just wanted to be
alone for a few minutes. I looked
at him and as he walked so
confidently in his calculated steps,
he wasn't even using a stick. He
folded his arms and they were so
muscular. How does he do it? I
don't think a blind man can lift
weights. I stopped reading and
watched him. He has a nicely cut
beard which does have a little
grey hair and he's hair is nicely
cut too. He seems like a very clean
man, he's house says it all. Oh
gosh! He's walking towards me,
how did he know I'm here?
Kwanele: Nosipho
Mxm! They were joking! This man
can see, if he can't then how did
he know it was me who was
sitting here?
Kwanele: Your smell, I could tell it
was you.
Argh no stop twisting my mind
and making me more confused
than I already am.
Me: Oh
That's all I could say.
Kwanele: May I sit next to you?
Me: Yes you may, do you need help?
Okay I shouldn't have said that.
He sat down and chuckled.
Kwanele: What makes you think I
need help with sitting down?
Me: I'm sorry
Kwanele: You know already don't
you?
I nodded and remembered he
can't even see me nod.
Me: Yes, why didn't you tell me?
Kwanele: Its not really wise to
tell people you're blind when you
first meet them but it's pretty
obvious. People ask me before I
even say I'm blind.
Me: Oh well I didn't even notice,
I did notice you were a weird man
but I just didn't think you'd be
blind.
Kwanele: Well I'm blind Ms
Nosipho, are you going to quit
your job and run away?
Me: No. I'm just shocked
Kwanele: I understand. You can
take the rest of the day off,
don't worry about Supper, Menzi
and I have a meeting to attend
to tonight so we won't be here.
Me: Thank you. I am exhausted
so I'll go home and sleep
Kwanele: Whenever you're here,
just know you have a room that
belongs to you. You can sleep when
you get tired.
Me: Thank you
Such a great job! I'm never
leaving this job ever.
Kwanele: Enjoy the rest of the
day.
Me: Should I leave you here?
Kwanele: Yes, you did steal my
thinking spot.
Me: I'm sorry.
Kwanele: You may leave.
I looked at him and I don't know
why but I just wanted to cry. I
felt so much pity for him and it
was just overwhelming. I didn't
even say goodbye to Khanya,
Bonnie or Menzi. I drove off and
went home. Ntombi was busy
cooking and I wasn't hungry.
Ntombi: What is wrong with you?
Me: Nothing, I'm just tired.
Ntombi: Go rest and tell me all
about it later.
I doubt I'll even wake up later,
I'll tell her tomorrow morning.
Let me go sleep and stop feeling
so sad for a man I barely even
know who seems happy and
content with his life and his
blindness.

Insert 2
My first week of working for Mr
Zondi has been a breeze just like
his other workers say. The last
time we spoke was when we were
at the garden, the day after
that I felt like he was avoiding
me for some reason but then I
remembered that they said he is
not a man of many words.
Probably it was the first and last
time he spoke to me. He doesn't
even say a proper good morning,
he just says Nosipho and he's
done. I've mastered most of he's
meals and some are on the Menu
for Menzi and not him, I've
noticed he doesn't eat nuts,
avocado and kiwi. So far I've also
noticed he has a food weakness,
he is a chocolate lover. He laughs
alot when he is with Menzi, you
could say he is his best friend.
Menzi: It's a very hot day today...
Me: Yes it is.
Menzi: Kwanele says you should
join us for lunch
Me: No thank you
Kwanele: I insist
I looked down and nodded.
Menzi: She says yes.
I forget that he doesn't see me
when I nodd.
Me: Let me finish up with the
cooking.
They went to the TV room and
they watched tv, the volume was
high so I guess he only listens. I
called them when I finished up
and we sat down and I said a
prayer blessing the food. Menzi
put a napkin on him and he
started feeding him. No this was
too much for me to watch, I just
cried and stormed out. No wonder
he said he doesn't eat in public
cause he has to be fed. I sat at
the garden and cried so much I
couldnt stop the tears from
flowing non-stop.
"Don't pity him, he hates that."
I looked up and it was Menzi.
Me: I'm sorry, I just couldnt hold
it in.
Menzi: I understand. Its not
easy for him as well. Don't pity
him though please, he feels less
of a man. He didn't even want to
eat anymore
Me: Where is he now? I need to
apologize
Menzi: In his room
Me: Oh I guess I'll wait for him
till he comes downstairs
Menzi: He won't, go to him.
I went to the house but went to
the bathroom first and I washed
my face. I knocked and he didn't
respond. I opened and he was
laying on the bed with earphones
on. I sat next to him and took out
his earphones
Kwanele: Rule1- Never disturb a
man when he is at his peaceful
place
Me: I'll keep that in mind
Kwanele: You were crying
Me: How do you know?
Kwanele: I may not be able to
feed myself but I know alot more.
I may not be able to see but I
have 4other senses that work
very well my lady.
Me: I'm sorry
Kwanele: I understand. Most blind
people can feed themselves. Its
one thing I wasn't able master,
I've been trained alot but I've
failed over and over again.
Me: And there's nothing wrong
with that. We all have something
we fail at doing. I fail at alot of
things
Kwanele: Like?
Me: I failed alot at school, I fail
to be less clumsy and organized
He laughed at me and his
stomach grumbled
Me: And you are hungry
Kwanele: I didn't want to
embarrass myself more infront of
a beautiful lady
Me: For all you know, I might be a
very ugly lady who looks like a
frog.
Kwanele: I know you're beautiful,
I know a beautiful lady when I
see one.
Me: You cant even see Kwanele
Kwanele: I might not be able to
see with my naked eyes but trust
me, my imagination works
perfectly and I know you're
beautiful.
Me: Whatever, come. Let's go get
you fed
Kwanele: Bring the food here, I
don't want to leave this room.
I'm having one of those days.
Me: What days?
Kwanele: You're so slow Nosipho
Me: Whatever.
I left him and went to warm up
his food and took it up to him.
Menzi was there too when I
came back and I fed him.
Menzi: Kwanele
Kwanele: Menzi
Menzi: I have to take the night
off
Kwanele: What? Why? Do we have
something important that you
personally have to attend?
Menzi: No
Kwanele: Then?
Menzi: Remember that girl I told
you about? I want to take her
out tonight, on a proper date.
Kwanele: Oh thats great, I
thought you'd live your entire life
very single
Menzi: Whatever so I'll call nurse
Judy to come help you tonight
Kwanele: No, don't call that evil
woman. I'll manage
Menzi: You know you won't
manage, stop being stubborn.
They kept on arguing and they
weren't reaching any agreement.
Me: Just stop it!
They both kept quiet and I
sighed. They were going on like
two year olds.
Me: Take the night off Menzi, I'll
take care of Kwanele
Kwanele: There's no need to, I
could just fly to my parent's house
and I'll be fine.
Me: That's using money
unnecessarily. I'll take care of you
while he goes and gets laid.
Menzi: I'm not a douchebag, I
won't shag her on our first date.
Me: Trust me, the both of you
look like players. You swing woman
left right and center.
The way they laughed, it was like
they were remembering alot and
I just left them there to be all
buddy buddy. I was lazy to go
upstairs so I texted Menzi telling
him I'm going home to pick up an
overnight bag. I got home and
Ntombi was home too.
Me: Aren't you supposed to be at
work Ntombi?
Ntombi: We were dismissed early,
some inspection is going on and I
don't have any class today so I'm
sleeping all day.
Me: Well you'll sleep alone tonight,
I have to stay over and take
care of my boss.
Ntombi: Where is he's right hand
man?
Me: Taking the night off
Ntombi: You do realize that your
boss is blind
Me: Yes I'm fully aware of that
Ntombi: Meaning you might have
to bathe him?
Me: Oh, I didn't think of that.
She laughed at me and continued
sleeping while I was recalculating
my decision and how I didn't even
think this thoroughly. I'll just
cross that bridge when I get to
it. I drove back to his mansion
and put my bag in the room I'm
using. I waved at Menzi to come
here, so that Kwanele doesn't
hear me. He looked confused and
came to me
Menzi: What?
Me: I have a question
Menzi: And that is?
Me: Do I have to bathe him?
Menzi just decided to laugh at me
and I felt so stupid
Menzi: No, he can do it himself.
Wait, you think I bathe him
everyday?
Me: I thought so
Menzi: No, I only do that on his
weak days.
Me: Weak days?
Menzi: Yes, he has his days where
he can't function. He's entire body
shuts down and he can't even
stand
Me: What happened to him?
Menzi: It's not my place to tell
Me: I understand
Menzi: Let me leave you guys to
bond and get to know each other.
If there's an emergency, don't
hesitate to call me.
Me: Emergencies like?
Menzi: Him falling and you can't
pick him up, that's literally like
the only emergency that could
happen today.
Me: Got it.
Menzi said he's goodbyes and he
left. Awkward.... I didn't even
know what to do. Kwanele was
busy with some papers, he was
reading using his hands. It's a
very rare thing to see, our world
has improved highly and it has
definitely became a place
comfortable for every type of
person. Blind people can read and
write just like normal people.
Me: What do you do for a living
Kwanele?
Kwanele: I sit in the house all day
Me: Really now? Sarcasm is not
for you
Kwanele: I'm a businessman, that
you should know. I own a
restaurant. Multi-million
construction company and a few
taxi's my father gave me.
Me: Interesting
Kwanele: I feel like you have more
questions
Me: I do
Kwanele: Ask
Me: Who handles all these
businesses for you?
Kwanele: I do, with Menzi's help
too.
Me: How long have you known
Menzi
Kwanele: 30years
Me: How old are you?
Kwanele: 35
Me: Interesting
Kwanele: You may continue
Me: Do you know what Menzi looks
like?
Kwanele: I do know how he looked
like when we were 5years old. The
question you wanted to ask was if
I was born blind?
Me: Yes
Kwanele: No, I wasn't.
Me: So you got blind when you
were 5years old?
Kwanele: I couldn't completely see
when I was 6.
Me: What happened?
Kwanele: That's a story for
another day.
Me: Okay.
Kwanele: I can open my eyes but
I won't be able to see you
He put the papers aside and I
stepped closer.
Kwanele: Take off my glasses
Me: I always thought you just
wear shades, well that was
before I knew you were blind.
Kwanele: You're an interesting
character
I took off his glasses and sat
next to him. He slowly opened his
eyes and they were wet, they had
those dirty things you have when
you have a pink eye, the slimy
stuff. I don't know what they're
called yet I did do life sciences at
school.
Me: Let me clean your eyes
He nodded and I ran to get a wet
towel and cleaned his eyes. He sat
so quietly and so still, it was like
he was in deep thoughts. He
caressed my arms and laughed
Me: What?
Kwanele: You're a monkey, your
arms are hairy.
Me:(giggles) I'm not a monkey.
Kwanele: Whatever makes you
sleep at night.
Me: I'm done. Are you hungry?
Kwanele: Yes I am but don't cook,
just order something.
Me: I don't mind cooking
Kwanele: This is your day off from
cooking
Me: Okay fine.
Kwanele: So tell me, what do you
enjoy doing?
Me: Reading, watching movies and
sleeping.
Kwanele: That's it?
Me: Yeah thats it
Kwanele: You don't go jogging,
hiking, swimming, partying?
Me: No. I'm a very lazy person so
I don't engage in any activity
that requires me to be active and
energetic
Kwanele: That means you're a
virgin
Me: What?
Kwanele: Sex requires you to be
active and energetic so you said
you don't engage on such
activities so it means you're a
virgin.
Me: Well I'm not.
Kwanele: Let me ask again, what
do you enjoy doing Nosipho?
Me: Reading, watching movies and
sleeping.
Kwanele: And having sex.
I laughed at him and ordered
pizza and ribs.
Kwanele: Sadly, I can't watch
movies with you, I can just listen.
I can't play a game with you
cause I can't see so I guess we'll
just sit and talk for the rest of
the afternoon
Me: I'm fine with that.
Kwanele: So you're 25
Me: Yes I am
Kwanele: No child?
Me: No
Kwanele: Want one?
Me: Yes and do you have a child?
Kwanele: No and I don't want one
Me: Why?
Kwanele: Whats the use of having
a child whom I'll never even be
able to see and its highly possible
that, that child will be blind too.
I wouldnt want my very own child
to go through this life. Its no
fun.
Me: I understand, so it means you
don't want a wife?
Kwanele: No, I'm fine with just
having bootycalls cause I don't
have to see them. Once I'm done,
we go our separate ways.
Me: You don't have a girlfriend?
Kwanele: No
Me: Okay.
Silence...
Silence...
Silence...
And then I drop the mug I was
carrying.
Kwanele: Nosipho, you're always
dropping things.
Me: I'm clumsy.
Kwanele: One would swear you're
doing it on purpose.
Me: My hands just shake for no
reason and I drop things.
Kwanele: You need to learn how to
relax.
Me: Have you ever been inlove
before?
Kwanele: No. The only love I know
is the one I get from my parents,
my siblings and Menzi. Put my
glasses back on, my eyes hurt.
Me: Okay sorry
I took his glasses and put them
back on.
Kwanele: Have you ever been
inlove before Ms Bilose?
Me: I think so
Kwanele: Have you ever been
inlove before?
Me: I said I think so
Kwanele: Then you've never been
inlove before too
Me: Why do you say so?
Kwanele: Because you should've
said yes the moment I asked you
that question. When you say you
think so it means you not sure
whether you were inlove or not.
Now that's not being inlove. True
love is certain and with no doubts.
He made sense, he makes a lot of
sense most times. The food
arrived and I fed him while I also
ate.
It was fun, talking to him put
you at ease and he's a funny
character. He enjoys laughing and
he's touchy. He kept on touching
my arms and hands. He's phone
rang, it was around 8pm, time
flies.
I answered it and put it on
speaker as he instructed.
Voice: Baby, are you home?
Kwanele: Yes I'm home Simi
Simi: Okay, I'm coming over.
Kwanele: Cool.
The call ended and I was very
curious.
Me: Girlfriend?
Kwanele: I have no girlfriend.
Me: But she called you Baby?
Kwanele: I'm not her baby, I'm a
grown ass man.
I laughed so much and he smiled.
Kwanele: She's just someone I
fuck with. Lets just say she can't
stay away from me.
Me: Arrogancy
After a few minutes this Simi girl
arrived and she looked like she
just came out of a magazine. She
was thin and tall, looked very
beautiful and she was wearing
expensive clothing.
Simi: Hi, I'm Simi and you are?
Me: Nosipho?
Simi: Is she joining us tonight?
Me: What?
Kwanele: No, its not her kind of
thing.
Simi: Okay, suit yourself.
They stood up and I was left
stunned. Wonders will never end in
this world I tell you! How does a
blind man have sex? To even think
that this Simi thought I'd join
them and she didn't even seem to
mind. Maybe its something she's
used to. Arghh! Let me go sleep
and stop thinking about nonsense.

Insert 3
I was drinking a cup of coffee and
having rusks while walking around
in my sleeping shorts and vest. It
was a cool saturday morning and
there were no workers in the
house. It seemed as if I was the
only one awake and I went to
watch tv. After a few minutes
Menzi came in whistling and
dancing around.
Me: Someone had a great night
Menzi: Geez! You gave me a
fright.
Me: Sorry Mr Menzi, I don't even
know your surname
Menzi: Its Menzi Zondi
Me: Oh so you're related to
Kwanele?
Menzi: Its a long story
Me: Oh okay, so how was last
night?
Menzi: Amazing!
Me: Thats it? You won't even
share more details?
Menzi: Make space for me
I moved and he sat next to me,
we're squashed on a small one
seater couch.
Menzi: So, I'm a douche. We did
the deed last night.
Me: You're not the only one who
got laid last night
Menzi: What! I knew you're one
naughty ass. Who was it?
Me: Not me idiot! Kwanele.
Menzi: No wonder he's still asleep.
Who was it this time? Was it
Melinda?
Me: No, it was Simi.
Menzi: Oh they are at it again.
I'm not shocked.
Me: They dated?
Menzi: Kwanele doesn't date. But
they've been at it for a while,
they stop and start again.
Me: Oh I get you.
Menzi: So you slept well? Simi is a
loud one
Me: Argh Menzi! I slept
downstairs, thank God.
Speak of the devil, she came
downstairs looking all fresh and all
smiles. She's a happy girl
Simi: Morning Nosi, morning dork.
Me: Morning
Menzi: Morning you ugly ass
Simi: You know its sexy. I have to
love and leave you good people!
Nosi, good to meet you sexy girl,
holla at me if you want some of
this!
She spanked her ass and ran out.
Shes crazy, I like her.
Menzi: She plays for both teams,
she's just a young girl having fun.
Me: How old is she?
Menzi: 22 or 23 between the
two.
Kwanele walked downstairs and it
was only then when I realized
what the small hooks on the
stairs are for, he holds onto them
when he uses the stairs. He went
to the kitchen and plugged the
kettle. I quickly stood up and
Menzi told me to sit down. I
watched him as he made his way
around the kitchen making coffee
Me: He'll burn himself
I whispered to Menzi and he just
smiled. It was actually
fascinating to watch, he's eyes
were closed and he had no glasses
on and he was making coffee. He
kept on singing and he sat on the
kitchen stool and drank he's
coffee
Kwanele: I don't appreciate it
when people just stare at me.
Me: How did you know?
Kwanele: I did tell you all my
other senses work perfectly.
Me: I sometimes feel as if you're
not blind at all
Kwanele: I get that alot.
Menzi: Its a beautiful saturday,
what are we doing today?
Me: Well I'm going home
Kwanele: Boring
Menzi: I agree with Kwanele.
You're staying here and we're
going to have a chilled day. We're
going to braai, have a few drinks
and hold a steady lovely
conversation while we get to know
each other.
Me: Fine, let me call my cousin and
tell her I won't be coming back.
Kwanele: Tell her to come over
Me: Okay I'll tell her.
I called Ntombi while they were
busy talking about their nights.
Me: "Ntombi"
Ntombi: "Yes babes?"
Me:"I'll request an uber for you, I
need you to come over to my
workplace. We're having a chill
session and you're invited."
Ntombi: "Okay I'd never say no to
alcohol and food especially when
its free. Let me just change while
I wait for the uber"
I ended the call and went back to
the gents.
Me: I'm going to shower, Ntombi
will be here soon so don't scare
her off.
Menzi: We'll try.
I went to the room I'm using and
the bathroom was just beautiful.
I grew up in a big home, rich
parents and all but this house is
just out of this world. I took a
very long bath and it was so
relaxing and soothing. I wore a
mini summer dress and tied my
hair into a bun. They were
laughing and holding up a great
conversation with Ntombi.
Me: I guess I won't be doing any
introductions
Kwanele: You took too long so we
didn't wait up on you to do so.
Menzi: Lets take this outside, I
need to start the fire
We walked outside and Ntombi
looked at me, I know she has alot
to say.
Me: Maybe you should start the
fire while we cook pap and some
salads
Kwanele: Okay cool, don't take too
long.
We went back to the kitchen and
she giggled.
Me: Speak
Ntombi: Firstly, this house is
ridiculously big and is so beautiful.
Me: I did tell you
Ntombi: And you're surronded by
absolutely gorgeous men! The
blind guy is freaken handsome and
he's friend too!
Me: I bet you couldn't even tell
that he's blind.
Ntombi: Not at all, he's glasses
suit him. How does go to the
gym?
Me: I always ask myself that
question.
We continued talking while cooking
and we went back to the guys
when we were done.
Kwanele: You did take long
Ntombi: We didn't realize
Menzi: So how do you guys know
each other besides being
roommates?
Ntombi: We cousins, best friends
and roommates.
Kwanele: Who's older?
Ntombi: I am, by just 3days
though.
Kwanele: Interesting
Menzi: What do you do?
Ntombi: I work at the factory
part time and I'm studying
Therapy, it's my last year.
Kwanele: Ooh so we'll be having a
graduation party soon?
Ntombi: I guess so.
We spoke alot, just getting to
know each other and it was such
a cool great vibe. I felt like
Kwanele was looking at me a lot
but I kept on telling myself that
this man can't see so there's
literally no way he is looking at
me. The man is blind Nosipho, get
that into your thick skull.
We sat down and ate, I was
sitting on the same chair as
Kwanele as I fed him.
Kwanele: If we fall on this chair
it will be your fault.
Me: You're the tough one with
the muscles and all
Ntombi: Speaking of muscles, I'm
sorry don't get offended or
anything but how do you lift
weights?
Kwanele: Its one of the questions
I always get
Menzi: Especially from girls
Kwanele: My father trained me,
he trained me for almost
everything I needed to know and
do as a man. I spent most of my
teenage life just training and
learning how to do everything I
possibly can by myself.
I wiped his mouth and his hands
and he giggled
Me: What?
Kwanele: My mother always does
that.
I smiled and gave him something
to drink while I went to the loo.
Argh! My period just started. I
went to my room and took a bath
then fixed myself. I went back to
them and they gave me a weird
look.
Menzi: You changed again?
Me: Yes I had to shower, mother
nature called and I answered
Menzi: What do you mean?
Kwanele: She means she just had
her period
Menzi: Oh
Ntombi: And you said you know
alot about woman
Menzi: I do but just not that
certain thing.
I laid on the little couch and ate
some nuts.
Kwanele: Ntombi and Nosi, I think
you should describe yourselves to
me so I can have an idea of what
you look like.
Ntombi: Okay I'll go first
She stood up and went closer to
him and we were confused.
Ntombi: I'll tell you how I look,
but while I still do you'll have to
touch my face and highly
concentrate do you understand?
Kwanele: Yes Dr Bilose
We laughed, she was just being all
therapeutic about this. She
described herself and he followed
the instruction. It was actually
something beautiful to watch and
it seemed to help.
Ntombi: It's your turn Nosipho
Me: He has to do the touching
thing to me too?
Ntombi: Yes
I giggled and kneeled infront of
him. I closed my eyes and put his
hand on my cheek
Me: Firstly, I have chubby
cheeks.
He laughed and caressed them.
Me: I'm very dark in complexion,
perky nose. Beautiful big round
eyes...
He's hands trailed to the parts I
mentioned and he's touch was
electrifying. He's touch made me
shiver and my voice changed a bit.
This was so instense
Me:(clears throat) I have bushy
eyebrows, my forehead is big, it's
always out there. I have long
hair, its very silky
Kwanele: You have a soft sculp.
He ran his hands all over my hair
and I just felt the tears fall.
He's hands made their way to my
eyes. He wiped off my tears and
touched my lips with his manly
hands, they were shivering and
what I was feeling was too much
to explain but I was sure I'm not
feeling it alone. I held onto his
knees and he was also shaking. We
stayed in silence for a few
minutes and I opened my eyes
Menzi: Okay, that was intense.
We all laughed and I went to the
bathroom, I have a weak bladder
when I'm on my periods and hectic
period pains. I took a blanket and
asked them to come inside cause
I was feeling cold.
Kwanele: It's so hot though
Ntombi: She gets freezing cold on
her mother nature days.
We went to the lounge and chilled
there.
Menzi: So we'll be seeing more of
you too Ntombi? Don't be a
stranger after today
Ntombi: I won't.
Kwanele: Seems like my brother is
enjoying your company
Ntombi: You are brothers
Kwanele: Yes
Menzi: My parents died when I
was young so he's parents
adopted me. So I've been a Zondi
ever since.
Me: So you've been around each
other all these years
Kwanele: You could say so, he went
to school in Cape Town and left
me with my parents in P.E so we
were together mostly during
holidays.
Me: How did you both end up in
Durban?
Menzi: Kwanele wanted to leave
home, he wanted his own life
away from the parents. Trust
me, I did too. Mom and dad can be
over protective. We moved out of
home at 25, imagine!
Kwanele: They didn't trust us at
all, they still don't. So we bought
this house and finally took full
control of our businesses. And it's
been like that ever since.
Me: Interesting, you're the
inseparable twins
Kwanele: We are separable, Menzi
has to get married and start his
own family. He can't be stuck
with me all his life.
Menzi: Trust me, I can bro.
Kwanele: But I don't want you
too, We're getting old. 35years old
is no joke, I know you've always
wanted to get married. You've
always been the soft lover
Ntombi: I guess you've always
been the player ke Kwanele
Kwanele: I'm not as bad as you
think I am
We laughed at him and it
happened again, I felt his stare
and reminded myself that he is
blind. He stood up and left us in
the lounge. After some time he
came back with a tray of mugs
filled with hot chocolate and whip
cream, he still amazes me how
he's capable of doing things for
himself yet he can't see. He's
father might've trained him so
hard and for many years. But he
did well, Kwanele seems like a man
who has an ego, he definitely
would not like it if he was
dysfunctional. He would loose his
mind
Kwanele: Scoot up
He sat next to me and we shared
a blanket. He kept on rubbing my
feet and it felt so good. Any
physical contact with him makes
me feel some type of way.
Kwanele: I bet you have ugly feet
Ntombi: Yes she does and she
loves showing them, its so
embarrassing
Me: What! My feet are very cute,
thank you very much.
Menzi: Even mine are better
Kwanele: How do my feet look?
Menzi and Ntombi just laughed at
him, they did look horrible. I don't
think I'd survive as a blind
person, theres so much to see in
this life and not having the
privilege of being able to see all
that would just crush me. Yet, he
is used to it. It is his life and he
has accepted it. He doesn't even
know what he's feet look like, this
really hurts. I don't know how
Ntombi has just accepted and
adapted to him in just a few
hours of being with him. Maybe
she doesn't pity him or her
therapeutic self has made things
easier for her. I guess I'm over
emotional or it will take time for
me to get used to him. We all deal
with things in different ways and
different paces right?
Menzi: Ntombi, come with me.
Me: Where are you guys going?
Menzi: I need to see someone and
she's coming with me.
Me: Okay, bring something nice
and chilly when you come back.
They left and Kwanele turned and
faced my way.
Kwanele: Ntombi's idea worked.
Now I can tell that you're very
beautiful
Me: Thank you
Kwanele: You seem nervous
Me: No I'm not, I'm just cold.
Kwanele: Nosipho are you scared
of me?
Me: No I'm not scared of you.
Kwanele: Then what is it? I know
you're not fully comfortable around
me
Me: I am comfortable and you're
very good to be around but...
Kwanele: Continue
Me: I feel sorry for you
Kwanele: I don't want you to pity
me. I don't want you to feel sorry
for me at all
Me: I can't help myself
Kwanele: I am blind, nothing will
ever change. Get used to me and
stop feeling sorry for me like I'm
a damn child!
He's voice was high on demanding.
He was shouting at me and he did
scare me. I just kept quiet and
closed my eyes. He stood up and
went upstairs and I just decided
to take a nap. I woke up when I
heard Menzi and Ntombi laughing
too loud and banging the table.
Me: Some of us are trying to
sleep!
Ntombi: Geez, what happened to
you?
Menzi: Mood swings
Me: Mxm
Menzi: Where is Kwanele?
Me: I'm not Kwanele's keeper.
Menzi: Okay, you guys had a
fight.
He laughed and went upstairs
while Ntombi gave me KFC hot
wings.
Ntombi: So what was the fight
about?
Me: We didn't fight, he shouted
at me.
Ntombi: Why?
Me: I guess he got angry when I
told him I feel sorry for him.
Ntombi: Feeling sorry for him
won't help in any way. He will only
feel weaker and that is not
something he needs. He needs you
to accept him and be strong for
him just like we are.
Me: He doesnt need me, I'm just
he's chef.
Ntombi: Keep telling yourself that
sweetheart. Now stop it, the
man has enough to deal with
than being frustrated over you
feeling sorry for him.
Me: I'll try
Ntombi: Don't try, just do as I
say. She went back to the kitchen
and the guys came downstairs.
Kwanele sat next to me, he didn't
even ask me to move my legs he
just pushed me. Mxm! I was going
to apologize but I won't anymore.
Menzi and Ntombi just laughed
and they were beginning to annoy
me.
Kwanele: I'm sorry for shouting
at you earlier on
Me: Is that it?
Kwanele: Is there something else
I did wrong?
Me: You just came here and
pushed my feet, you didn't even
ask me to move them.
Kwanele: And I'm sorry for
pushing your feet, Nosi.
Me: Thats more like it
Kwanele: So I'm forgiven?
Me: Yes you are.
He squeezed my hand which was
under the blanket and I felt it
again, that electrifying feeling. I
looked at him and wished that I
could see through he's eyes maybe
I'd see that he felt it too. Maybe
he's eyes would speak more than
what he can say using words.
Maybe he's touch is a way of him
telling me he feels what I feel
but what is it exactly that I'm
feeling? Whatever it is that I'm
feeling has to go away, I'm here
for a job and nothing more.
Ntombi's words kept on echoing in
my head, "keep telling yourself
that sweetheart" they echoed
over and over again and I was
distracted, so far away in
thoughts that I ended up falling
asleep.
Insert 4
It’s been a month, a month of
total bliss and a month of never-
ending fights. To think I thought
I wouldn’t get along with Menzi
and I'd get along more with
Kwanele was just a joke. Kwanele
is such an annoying character, he's
different on every different day.
Trust me, he's attitude made me
not even feel sorry for him. He
just had a sudden change towards
me and made me feel so useless
and inferior. I guess I judged him
to quickly and thought of him as a
saint more than a sinner. I gave
him the benefit of the doubt just
because he's blind but now I know
the kind of man he is and I'll
gladly say that I do not like him,
at all. I am still taken away by
the way he's capable of doing
most things himself. I've seen
him at the gym a few times and
I was amazed and mesmerized.
There's literally nothing in this
world that could stop you from
doing anything that you want and
need to do. It all needs
determination and commitment.
That I applaud him for. At first
I wanted to understand his
attitude and justified it with him
being blind and having alot of
frustrations but no, it was just
his natural stupidity and stinky
attitude. Blindness is too much of
a serious and critical situation to
use it as an excuse for a grown
ass man behaving like a child.
What upsets me more is how he
changes woman and plays them
like they are toys. I've lost count
of the women I've seen for the
past month and it's disgusting
how he feels like he's conquered
the world by just having multiple
of woman. He's stupidity comes in
where he forgets he's blind,
invites all these girls, some are so
ugly thank God he doesn't see
them because he's ego would just
go down. And most of all, these
girls steal from him. He invites
every stranger in here and they
leave with something. I noticed
when two of his expensive
watches went missing and he said
he must've misplaced them. What
confirmed my suspicions was when
I got here and this other girl
was busy shoving his watch,
money and a bottle of champagne
in a plastic. I had to tell Menzi to
intervene and talk to his stupid
brother before they steal
valuables which are more
sentimental and much more
expensive. Who knows? They
might even make him sign over
his house, but I refuse to believe
he could be that stupid. I'm not
even looking forward to going to
work today but I have to, a job is
a job like my mom always says and
she is all the way in Dubai
enjoying her hard earned money. I
got to work and there were a
bunch of black SUVs parked in a
convoy and Menzi came out, looking
dazzling in a black tuxedo and he
didn't even pay attention to me.
Okay, what is going on? I went
into the house and everyone was
busy. I grabbed Bonnie and we
stood behind the door.
Me: What is going on here?
Bonnie: Mr Zondi has been looking
for you since 9am, its 10am now
and he's angry.
Me: So? I'm always late and he
knows
Bonnie: He's not in the mood today
so don't say that to him. Plus,
whatever is going on here is all
about business. We're just the
staff here so we don't know
exactly what's going on. Just go
to him
Me: No.
Bonnie: Don't say I didn't warn
you.
"Do I pay you to stand behind my
doors and gossip?"- he barked.
Damn it was Kwanele, he looked so
sexy in his black tuxedo, he's
glasses were black today and he's
stick was silver. My my my, I
wonder what is going on with him.
Kwanele: Get back to work
Bonisile, Nosipho, follow me.
We did as instructed and we got
to his office.
Kwanele: I know this is short
notice but I need you to master
these meals by tonight. You have
all day to prepare and get things
ready.
Me: This is Chinese and Japanese
food, I don't know how to make
these.
Kwanele: That's why you have all
day to learn and perfect them.
Me: I didn't go to school for
cooking, I don't know how to
master these.
Kwanele: Nosipho, I'm having
very important men coming over
tonight for a very important
meeting. Now I'm asking you, not
only as your employer but your
friend. Help me out, you're the
only one I trust. My last chef, he
gave me food poisoning which he
was instructed by some men I
worked with. I almost died and it
made my blindness even more
severe. Now, it is you that I
trust and I need you to handle
the food tonight. I don't even
want you having any hired waiter
to assist you, only you touch the
food. Do you understand?
Me: How many people am I
cooking for?
Kwanele: 50
Me: That's alot, I will need help.
Ntombi, Bonnie and Khanya can
assist me.
Kwanele: I don't trust Bonnie and
Khanya
Me: But I trust them, two hands
will not be enough at all and the
time you're giving me is just too
little.
Kwanele: Call Ntombi and I'll call
my sister to come help as well.
The three of you will be enough.
Me: Fine
Kwanele: Thank you, I'm counting
on you.
Me: And the cars outside?
Kwanele: They will fetch these
men at the airport.
Me: Okay
Kwanele: One more thing
Me: What?
Kwanele: You'll be wearing a
uniform tonight, it will be brought
to you by 6pm. Make sure you're
done and freshly cleaned up by
then. I know it will be a hectic
day but I trust you can pull it
off.
Me: Yes Sir.
Kwanele: The name is Kwanele
Me: We're being professional today
Sir.
He laughs and I call Ntombi while
he calls his sister. After a few
minutes they both arrive and he
introduces his sister to us. Her
name is Funeka.
Kwanele: Please get to work
Ntombi: I hope I'm getting paid
for this
Funeka: Me too
Menzi: Kwanele, we have to go.
Kwanele: We'll be back in a few
hours. Don't let me down
He held my hand and I'd be lying
if I said I didn't feel the electric
spark I always feel when he
touches me. He squeezed it and I
smiled then they left. It's still
unbelievable and amazing how
much affect he has on me even
after our endless fights.
Funeka: Okay! Let's cook
Me: I wish I was excited as you
are. I don't know half of the
things that are written here. Ji-
suu, vege-ty and kai'soup, what is
all this?
Ntombi: This is just a disaster.
Me: How about we do a bit of
both African Cuisine, what we're
used to and try a bit of these
weird things and just set up a bit
of everything. That way, these
men will get an experience of our
foods and a taste of their own
food reminding them of home.
Cause if we go full on these meals,
which I highly doubt we will
perfect, they might feel
disrespected and like we're
undermining the importance of
their food.
Funeka: Makes sense
Ntombi: But how do we convince
Kwanele?
Me: Leave him to me, I'll handle
him
Funeka: Yes mam. Lets start
with grocery shopping cause
these won't work out.
We took Kwaneles toyota van and
went grocery shopping and stored
everything at the back. When we
got home we started cooking,
from samp and beans, steamed
bread, tripe, mpoyane worms and
the works. We also prepared some
Chinese and Japanese dishes.
Kwanele and Menzi came in
followed by a young handsome boy
who looked alot like Kwanele
Funeka: You came with this
trouble maker?
Menzi: We need him for security
Boy: Plus, they'd be nothing
without me. I'm the boss!
Funeka: Remember you're just 16.
Boy: Whatever Funeka
Kwanele: Ntombi, Nosipho, this is
my little brother Kwenzo.
Me: Hi Kwenzo
Kwanele: What's that smell? It
smells like beef tripe
Funeka: I'm out
Me: Don't leave
Ntombi: No, you said you'll handle
this. We'll be checking the pots
outside. We went full on Bhundu-
style. Cooking on a fire outside in a
three leg pot.
Me: Can you guys excuse us? I
need to talk to Kwanele.
They left and I held Kwaneles
hand and led him to the couch
Kwanele: You know I can walk to
the couch.
Me: I know.
Kwanele: Talk
Me: Why do you hate me so much
these days?
Kwanele: I don't hate you at all,
you're the one who hates me and
likes annoying me. And not taking
my instructions
Me: So we'll argue again if I tell
you I didn't really listen to your
instruction?
Kwanele: We'll argue alot, I can't
stress enough the importance of
today.
Me: Let me start of by
apologizing
Kwanele: You never apologize
Me: Am I forgiven?
Kwanele: Depends. Now explain
why you decided to not take my
instructions and just simply follow
them
Me: I came up with an idea, I
think it will work. I decided to
cook more of an African cuisine and
mixed it up with a bit of Chinese
and Japanese dishes. I knew we
wouldn't be able to pull of their
dishes and it would seem as if
we're undermining them by doing
nonsense to their highly valued
foods. So why don't we give them
a bit of our own? So they can
have an experience of what we
are and how our foods are.
Kwanele if you'd go to Japan or
China, they wouldn't try
impressing you by making Pap and
beef tripe. They will give you
their meals, what they know and
what they are proud of.
Something that they'd like other
people of different tribes to
taste and know about their
traditional foods. So that's what
I've decided to do, we're going to
make them feel a bit of South
Africa by making them taste our
food.
Kwanele: Why didn't you do this as
a professional career?
Me: What?
Kwanele: Go study and become a
professional chef.
Me: Anything with studying isn't
me. And why study for something
you already know?
Kwanele: To improve your skills
and knowledge?
Me: I can do that on my own.
Now, am I forgiven for not
taking your instructions sir?
Kwanele: I'll decide after tonight.
But I trust you, I know you
wouldnt do something that would
ruin me in the long run. I know
you have your best interest at
heart.
Me: Thank you
Kwanele: They'll be here in an
hour so go wrap up. Your uniform
is in your room.
We used the last hour setting the
tables with the help of the
workers and Funeka came up with
the great idea of decorating the
house in a traditional morden way.
I thought it was a bit late for
that but she pulled it off. Her
words were "Kwanele has money
and a reputation, anything can be
arranged with just his name being
mentioned" And yes, it all
happened. And we ditched the
uniform and went for traditional
attires. We had abit of Xhosa,
Zulu, Swati and Venda attires.
Kwanele looked dapper in his suit
which had different Tsonga
patterns and his stick was
covered in beads. We were
standing in order at the door as
these men entered and we
ushered them to the area which
the meeting will take place. They
all spoke in a language we didn't
hear but Menzi and Kwanele were
deep in the conversation, I didn't
know they could speak foreign
languages. It was amazing and
shocking at the same time. We
left them as they proceeded with
the meeting. We waited hours
before we could serve the
starter.
Man: Wow, today we are fully
South Africans, I'm impressed.
What is this my lady?
Me: Its beef tripe and steamed
bread Sir.
Man2: I'm excited. Thank you
I nodded and once they were all
served we left them for a few
minutes. Menzi texted me telling
us to come collect the dishes.
Man1: That was amazing, I
cannot wait for the main course.
Mr Zondi did teach us that its
best when you eat with your
hands and indeed it was mouth
watering
Me: Thank you very much. Main
course will be served in 15mins.
We were giggling and happy at
the kitchen while we were
serving.
Funeka: You are smart girl
Nosipho, my brother couldn't stop
smiling. I'm sure he cannot wait
to feast on your food. While
everyone ate he was in his office
on a conference call. Menzi was
there eating with them so it
wouldn't seem as if they weren't
eating because of some bad
reason. We served the main course
and another man followed me out.
Him: You're a great chef
Me: Thank you
Him: I'm Mr Jayn, I need you to
do something small for me.
Me: And what would that be sir?
MrJ: I need you to sprinkle this
on both the Zondi men and Mr
Carters food, he is the one sitting
next to Mr M. Zondi. I will pay you
millions, more than what they are
paying you here.
Me: That won't be problem.
I took the substance and left. We
went our separate ways and I
laughed. After they were all done,
even desert was served. The
meeting was over and everyone
was leaving. We said our goodbyes
and all these men were impressed.
Mr Jayn winked at me and I
smiled back. He's such an idiot, he
will feel reep the fruits of what
he sowed.
Ntombi: I'm exhausted!
We all were, it was around 1am in
the morning.
Kwanele: I'm starving
Funeka: Oh my brother, let me
get you something to eat.
Kwanele: Please do, I want to
taste what everyone was
praising.
Funeka dished up for him and fed
him while we were cleaning and
packing the dishes. Once we were
all done, we sat together at the
lounge and I sat next Kwanele.
Me: So something happened
tonight
Menzi: What happened?
Kwenzo: I saw everything but
you can tell the story
I forgot there were camera's
installed and he was handling
them.
Kwanele: Talk already
Me: Mr Jayn gave me poison to
put in Kwanele, Menzi and Mr
Carters food.
Menzi: That bastard!
Kwanele was listening so
attentively, while he played with
my hand and tightly squeezing it.
I guess he was hoping that I
didn't do it.
Me: So, the man is all monied, he
literally transferred the money
into my account before they left.
Ntombi: Why would he give you
money? You did it?
Me: No, I don't even know what
that poison was for, if you guys
were supposed to die then I
guess I just killed a man with
poison
Kwanele: Who the fuck did you
poison?
Me: Him
Menzi: Nosipho!
Me: What? Should I have
poisoned you instead?
Menzi: Hell no. I'm just shocked,
you're just something else.
Kwanele: Well if he dies, that
would be good riddance to bad
rubbish.
We all laughed and Kwenzo told us
that the poison will not kill him
but it will damage his lungs and
kidneys. After an hour of
conversating and laughter we all
wanted to go rest.
Kwanele: You know where your
rooms are and tomorrow we will
celebrate today's success.
Funeka: What was this meeting
even about?
Menzi: Let's just say, in a few
months we'll be richer and earning
billions
Funeka: You're always after
money
Kwanele: We don't chase money,
money comes to us.
Menzi: Tell him bro.
Me: I'm out!
Ntombi: Me too
Kwanele: May I talk to you a bit
before you sleep?
Me: Yeah sure. I'll be in my room
Kwenzo:Mmmmmh, your room you
say.
I threw a pillow at him and went
to my room. I changed and got
into the shower. I know Kwanele
is still downstairs and talking to
Menzi. They always have
something to talk about. He
knocked and came in, I was half
naked and I ran to get a towel.
Me: You knock and then you wait
to be told to come in. I was naked
damnit
Kwanele: Why fuss? It's not like
I can see you
Oh.
He's right
Me: But still
Kwanele: Yeah whatever. I just
wanted to say thank you very
much for day. I'm really
impressed and thank you for
showing your loyalty and not
poisoning me.
Me: Who would pay me if you were
dead? I still need my money
Kwanele: And you'd be bored
without me in your life
Me: Don't be too sure
Kwanele: I know you would
He came closer and I sat on the
bed.
Kwanele: You're beautiful
Me: Thank you
Kwanele: I'll see you in the
morning.
Me: Goodnight
Kwanele: Goodnight buttercup
Me: Really? Buttercup, is that all
you could come up with?
Kwanele: I could call you chubby
cheeks or dark beauty
Me: Buttercup is fine.
I stood up and walked him to the
door. He held my hand and kissed
it. I closed the door and stood
behind it and smiled. Okay, get
over yourself. He was just being
nice. It didn't mean anything. He
was a bad man with a bad
attitude towards you a few days
ago, don't be charmed by this. He
may be a different man tomorrow,
I told myself and got into bed.

Insert 5
It's true when they say life is
unexpected. Just yesterday
things were okay. We were all
hyped and happy but little did we
know that the next morning
things would be different. I was
woken up by Funeka this morning,
I was so irritated yet I followed
her downstairs because there
was something about her facial
expression that told me whatever
it is that she's waking me up for
was important. My first thought
was Kwanele, I wondered if he
was okay? Had something bad
happened to him. Yet when we
got downstairs I was welcomed
by something so unexpected.
Kwanele furiously pacing up and
down with Menzi arguing with
the police and Ntombi crying.
Me: What is going on here?
Police: Miss Nosipho Bilose, you are
under arrest for the poisoning and
attempted murder of Mr Jayn.
Remain silent or anything you say
may be used against you in the
court of law. You have a right to
call your lawyer, if you don't have
one. The state will provide you
with one.
He took out handcuffs and I
giggled a bit
Me: Is this a joke?
Police: I'm afraid it isn't. Lets go.
Menzi: Let her get dressed into
something appropriate first.
Police: We will allow that Mr Zondi
I just froze, I couldnt believe it.
I felt like it was just a dream
Police: We don't have time sisi
Me: Let's go
Kwanele: Do not handcuff her
Police: We are doing our job sir
Kwanele: You'll loose that job if
you put your hands on her.
He came closer and held my hand.
Kwanele: I'm going to get you
out. I'll follow you to the police
station
I nodded and left with the police.
They didn't cuff me but the
horror of being pushed into a
police van is something I will
never get over. There were two
other women there crying their
lungs out yet I was just there,
too frozen to even think straight
or cry about what's happening to
me. We got to Westville Police
Station. We were ushered to some
room where we got the Orange
uniform. I changed and got one
blanket. While we walked down
the alley of cells full of women of
all kinds, some whistling and
screaming saying fresh stock has
arrived. I was relieved to be put
in a cell with just the two ladies I
arrived with. I laid on the very
uncomfortable bed and that's
where it all sunk in but not
enough to make me cry. The
other lady was still hysterical,
crying her eyeballs out and the
other had cried herself to sleep.
Me: Why are you in here?
Her: I killed my husband
Me: What is your name? And why
Her: The name is Khethokuhle. He
raped my daughter and I
stabbed him 17times.
Me: You shouldn't be arrested. You
did well, I would've killed him too.
Where is your daughter?
Khetho: She died
Me: What?
Khetho: She was just 4months
old, she died in the process of
being raped.
I don't believe I have ever heard
of such nor have I ever cried so
much. I felt her pain, it didn't
happen to me yet by her just
telling the story, I felt it. And it
hurt. She should be grieving her
child but she is behind bars for
killing some sick bastard. A man
who deserved death, stabbing
him was an easy way out. He
needed to be tortured and die a
slow painful death.
Bang! Bang! Bang! The warder
banged his rod on the cell.
Him: Nosipho Bilose! You have a
visitor
Am I allowed to have a visitor
within just an hour of being
behind bars? I was handcuffed
and I followed him. The handcuffs
were painful, my wrists couldnt
take it.
Kwanele: I thought I made a
clear instruction that she must
not be handcuffed!
Me: How do you know I'm
handcuffed?
Kwanele: I can hear the sound of
the chains Nosipho. Uncuff her
damn it!
Menzi: Don't let him repeat
himself
I was uncuffed and I sat down so
did Menzi. Kwanele was pacing up
and down.
Me: What happened?
Menzi: Apparently the poison
worked on Jayn before they even
went to the airport. They took
him to the hospital and he was
instantly paralysed. He can't use
his legs and hands
Me: So he wanted you, Kwanele
and Carter to be paralysed too?
Serves him right
Kwanele: You were crying
Me: No
Kwanele: I'm not deaf I'm just
blind. Don't underestimate my
abilities to determine your state
of emotions
Me: Yes Sir.
Kwanele: He opened two cases
against you. My lawyer will be
here by this afternoon and I
want you out of here by
tomorrow. I hate that you'll even
spend the night here
Me: Maybe one night won't hurt.
Kwanele: Where is your phone?
And bank details?
Me: My phone is under the pillow
at home and Ntombi will give you
my bank details
Menzi: We need those so we can
have proof of the payment Jayn
sent you.
Kwanele: Do not give them any
statement until your lawyer gets
here. He's name is Bongani
Luthuli.
Me: I have a lawyer? Is he good?
Kwanele: Best in the game, he'll
get you out of here. Yes, my
lawyer is your lawyer.
Me: Thank you. I'll repay you. I
was stupid, I should have just
thrown away the poison
Kwanele: No, you did well. You
showed him not to mess with any
of us but most of all, you should
your loyalty towards us and it's
time we showed loyalty towards
you.
Menzi: You're family now. And once
you're a part of us, there's no
going back.
Me: That sounds scary
Kwanele: No need to be scared. We
have to go now, we need to pay
Jayn a visit
Me: Don't do anything stupid. We
can't all be in here.
Menzi: We won't. Just be strong.
I nodded and I left. No goodbye
and no hugs. I don't know, a part
of me just felt like I will stay
here for a while. Not because I
don't trust Kwanele and Menzi
but I believe if they'll get me out
illegally, Jayn has a bigger chance
of keeping me in here illegally. He
is a powerful man from China, he
can keep me here for the rest of
my life without me even going to
trial. I went back to my cell and
there was a another new inmate
laying on my bed.
Me: Hi, sorry please move. This is
my bed
Her: No one has a bed here. Use
the other one.
Me: I don't think you understand,
move over. This is my bed and
yours is over there.
Her: That one is uncomfortable,
you use it missy.
Me: Listen here, this is no hotel.
You won't be on a comfortable bed.
And this isn't your jungle, you
won't bully anyone just because
you feel like it. We're all adults
here, we don't need unnecessary
drama. We all have alot to deal
with. I believe you are aware
that we're in jail.
She moved over and stood infront
of me. She was scary but I didn't
show any fear. She moved and
took my pillow with her.
Me: You're forgetting to leave
something behind
Her: What!
Me: My pillow
She huffed and threw it back.
Phew! Thank God she didn't give
me any trouble or start a fight. I
sat on my bed and just faced
these grey walls. Jail is so dull, it
could lead you to having depression
or loosing your mind by just you
staring at these walls. There's
nothing to look forward to,
nothing comfortable, nothing to
keep you sane. Its just you and
your thoughts. Nothing more,
nothing less. No wonder there is
high suicide rates in jail, especially
womans prisons.
Warder: Prisoners!!! Stand up!
We stood up and we were taken to
the cafeteria, well it looked like
what seemed like a cafeteria. We
were served food that a dog
would eat. I love food, I work
with food and this is not it. I felt
like I just want to vomit but I
was hungry. I ate, I ate it all.
It was rice and potato soup
which was like a stream of water
and salt. I've never had to eat
such ugly food but I guess there
is a first time for everything.
Hours passed by and I was
beyond being bored. I couldn't
sleep too, I felt like I'm
suffocating and Ketho's soft cries
kept on reminding me about the
tragedy she's going through. It
made me feel beyond hurt, but my
pain will never be compared to the
type of pain that she is feeling
right now. The warder came
again
Warder: Prisoner Nosipho!
It clicked, that's what I am. I'm
not Miss Nosipho Bilose anymore.
I am Prisoner Nosipho. I stood up
and followed him to the visitors
room and there was a man there
whom I assumed was Kwanele's
lawyer. He looked like a gym freak,
muscular and he was dressed too
casual for a lawyer, Chino pants
and a long sleeve black t-shirt. He
looked old, handsomely old. He's a
handsome man but you can see
that he is old. Maybe early 40's.
Him: I'm 43 years old
Are all the men I meet now days
mind readers? Were men given a
special ability to be able to read
womans minds.
Me: How did you know I was
wondering how old you are?
Him: The way you studied my face
and my physic, you were trying to
figure out how old I am.
Me: Mmmh
Him: Sit down, I'm Bongani
Luthuli but call me Bonga I'll be
getting you out of here
Me: You seem so sure
Bonga: I've never lost a case
Nosipho. Thats why Kwanele
trust's me so much, I'm good at
what I do
Me: There's always a first time
for everything
Bonga: Well it won't be this time.
He's phone rang and he answered
" Bee, I'm busy. I'll call you
later...... I know babe... fine I'lll
buy it..." drops the call.
Bonga: Its the wife, she's
pregnant. 5th child but third
pregnancy
Me: How?
Bonga: We have two sets of twins
Me: Congratulations, you must be
very happy.
Bonga: Thank you. So getting
back to this case, I need you to
write down your statement
stating everything that
happened. You will plead guilty
Me: That will make me stay
longer
Bonga: It will actually lighten
your sentence and I will speed
things up. You just have to spend
maybe two or three days in here
while I try to get you to appear
in court sooner than having to
stay a week before going to court.
You've been charged for
attempted murder, that's a big
case. You have no history of any
criminal records or any trouble
with the law?
Me: No
Bonga: Good, you should be out of
here in less than a week. If they
grant you bail, it might be a
heavy price.
My parents shouldn't know about
this, they would be very angry
and they'd let me stay here for
maybe a month as punishment
and a lesson for my stupid actions.
I trust that Kwanele will make a
plan. He took my statement and
we talked about a few more
things.
Bonga: Keep this
Me: Am I allowed to have this?
Bonga: No but you have one.
There's my number, Kwanele and
Menzis number there. Call when
you need something
I hid it in my pocket and went
back to my cell. There was
nothing to do other than just
sleep. I hid the little phone under
the pillow and I slept.
I couldn't breath properly nor
could I even scream. My neck was
painful and I was being strangled.
I opened my eyes and she had her
hands over my neck and chocking
me, she wanted me dead. I tried
to fight her but I was getting
weaker and weaker. Khetho
pushed her and I was able to
catch my breathe. A punch landed
on Khetho's stomach and my face.
Her: That's for talking to me like
I'm a child.
I was not even going to fight
her, how was I going to fight
this beast of a woman. I've
never even been in a fight and I
won't start now, in jail. I would be
signing my own death sentence. I
took the phone and called Menzi.
He sounded very sleepy, I checked
the time and it was after
midnight
Me: Menzi!
Menzi: Nosipho
I just cried and he kept on asking
what was going on.
Me: I want to get out of here.
She almost killed me.
Menzi: I'll call you in a few
minutes. Just hold on a bit.
After a few minutes indeed he
called
Menzi: You're going to move to a
private cell
Me: Tell them to move me now
and move Khethokuhle too.
Menzi: I will do so.
Me: Thank you Menzi
Menzi: Anything for you nogift.
Really? Nogift? What a lousy
interpretation of my name.
Knowing Menzi, he must be so
proud of himself since he was able
to come up with that stupid
name. Khethokuhle and I were
moved to a much more decent cell.
The beds were proper and
comfortable and it was clean. It
was better but it still had the
dull grey walls.
Khetho: Thank you for taking me
with you
Me: Sleep, you need some rest.
Stop crying now.
She nodded and slept, even the
blankets were warm and I was
able to get some proper sleep
without having to worry about
someone strangling me again.

Insert 6
Its been a week, I've been
behind bars for a week and it is
beyond what any words can
explain. I feel dirty, I feel lost
and definitely out of place. I cried
on my second night here, the next
day I just accepted it. And now,
I'm on the verge of accepting
that I will stay here for the rest
of my life. When my case was
presented in court two days ago,
I was not granted any bail or
anything, it was shifted to next
month due to Mr Jayns critical
situation. It was said that he is
in a coma but Menzi tells me that
Jayn is not in a coma and he is in
China. Right then I knew Jayn
will make me suffer. I think I
have suffered enough already, my
body is heavy and I have scars on
face with a blue eye that is
starting to heal. I was beaten up
in the bathrooms after having a
shower, I don't know what for
because I have never bothered
anyone since I got here. They call
me Goldilocks, some inmates are
very kind and loving yet some are
evil and have no remorse. I
couldn't even fight back, I have
never ever even fought my entire
life. Who am I to start fighting
now? Especially against jailbirds.
Kwanele and Menzi are doing their
best and Mr Luthuli, yet Jayn has
the entire justice system eating
at the palm of his hands. Kwanele
didn't come to see me for the
past two days, I was hurt until
Menzi told me he has went to
China with one of his workers. I
knew he is going to see Jayn the
minute he told me that. We were
cleaning the ward and some had
went to the gym, I chose not to
go there and they let me because
thats where all the fights start.
Khetho: I wish I had the chance
to bury my child.
Her story still hurts me to this
day, she cries each and every
night.
Me: I'm so sorry
Khetho: Tell me, why are you
treated specially here? I mean
I'm also here because of you.
Me: I know someone who knows
people.
Khetho: That means you'll be
getting out of here before I do
Me: Maybe.
Khetho: Please, when you get out
of here. Bury my child.
Me: What?
Khetho: I'll never be at peace
knowing my child wasn't buried
with dignity. She was just still
4months old.
Tears just filled my eyes and I
nodded. I listened to her as she
talked about her life.
Khetho: Khethelo and I had the
best relationship ever.
Me: Who is Khethelo?
Khetho: That idiot I was married
to. We were a cute couple, people
looked up to us. We were all over
social media, people named us the
power couple and we had so many
followers. Apart from being
famous as the KxK couple, what
we displayed on social media was
exactly how it was in reality. We
were head over heels, he loved me
and I loved him. We would never
sleep with one angry at one
another. We talked, laughed and
fought like every other couple. I
remember when he proposed, we
were in Jamaica at the beautiful
island beach. The setup was
beautiful I thought I was in a
movie. There were never
moments that made it seem like
he was too good to be true. He
was genuine, never cheated nor
beat me up or anything. I
sometimes called him softie
because he would get very
emotional. He really loved. Our
wedding day was a dream
wedding, everything was perfect.
Everything was perfect and we
had our first child after a year of
being married. He loved Onesipho
so much, she was his princess. My
child wore brand names from
birth, custom made clothing. That
man took care of me and our child,
I didn't even work. He owned a
business which he inherited from
his mother. He wasn't that rich
but he could afford us and afford
to spoil us.
Me: Sounds like you were living a
dream. What happened? When did
he change?
Khetho: He didn't. I woke up and
my hair was a mess, he told me to
go to the salon and spa to
pamper myself because I had
been exhausted and babysitting
everyday. He took the day off so
he can remain home with the
baby while I go and spoil myself.
I agreed, I had left him with
Onesipho once or twice before so
I wasn't hesitant at all. I went
to the mall first thing I did was
my nails, when I had to pay. I
checked my wallet and saw I had
left the card at home. So they
know me at the salon and they let
me go fetch the card and come
back and pay. I did so, when I
got home they were peacefully
sleeping and I got the card then
left again so I can do my hair.
There was a girl named Bongiwe,
only she did my hair because she
was just perfect at what she
does so when her colleagues told
me she was off sick I just decided
I'd do my hair another day so I
wanted to go shopping. But as I
walked to The Space someone
spilled coffee on me. I was
irritated and I went home. I
heard him, huffing and groaning
out loud I was sure he was
cheating on me and having sex
with some bitch in our house little
did I know it was our little
Onesipho. When I got in she was
already dead, just laying there
while he penetrated her and
there was blood all over. He's eyes
were closed and I slowly walked to
the kitchen and took a knife. I
stabbed him on his back, stabbed
him all over, I cut off his penis
and stabbed him while screaming.
Once I was satisfied, I saw that
he was dead and I felt no
remorse. The man killed my child!
I took my daughter and kissed
her forehead. She was cold, no
pulse, nothing, just dead. My
neighbours came in and they called
the police. I was arrested for
murdering a rapist and murderer.
Khethelo killed my little Onesipho.
One of the female police was
begging her colleagues not to
arrest me, I left my baby in her
hands as she cried. And that was
it, I don't know where they took
my baby nor do I even know what
happened to that bastard.
Me: I'm so so sorry Khethokuhle,
I don't even know what to say.
I was a mess, snots, mucous and
tears all together.
Khetho: When I think of it now,
leaving my card at home wasn't
just a mistake, Bongiwe being off
sick and that lady spilling coffee
on me wasn't all just a coincidence.
It was God showing me signs,
telling me to go home before he
rapes my baby but I didn't listen.
Had I just went straight home
nothing more, maybe I would've
saved her. Maybe I would've come
home before he did anything.
Couldnt he just rape me? What
sexual satisfaction did he need
because we were very intimate.
We had sex almost everyday,
what would he be wanting from a
little infant? Couldnt he go
cheat? Rape is a hurtful thing
but couldnt he go rape his peers
than a little infant! His own flesh
and blood! He is no human being
but just a monster!
We were disturbed by the warder
and he told me I have a visitor. I
was escorted to the visitors room
and there was Menzi and some
lady, she looked so natural and
beautiful. Her smile was
breathtaking, she had a ring on
her finger, her husband is one
lucky man.
Menzi: Your face is messed up, you
were even crying. Did they hurt
you again!
Me: Relax, they didn't. I was just
stressed
Menzi: This is Advocate Zulu.
Me: Hi Advocate Zulu
Her: Thats so formal, call me
Ntokozo, Ntokozo Zulu.
Me: Okay Ntokozo, where is
Bonga?
Ntokozo: He's not in the country.
I took your case and met with
the judge earlier on. You're free to
go home but you'll be on house
arrest for a few days just till we
can sort everything out.
Me: What!!! I'm going home!
Ntokozo: Yes you are!
And then I remembered....
Me: I can't go home
Menzi: What do you mean? We
miss you. Funeka and Ntombi are
worried sick about you
Me: I can't leave Khetho here
Ntokozo: Who is that?
I told them who she is and briefly
explained her story. Ntokozo was
emotional and crying.
Me: We have to help her, she
needs to get out of here.
Menzi: Ekse, Toi. Bring Khetho
here
Warder: Sho boss
Just like that? He has authority
even in jail. Khetho came looking so
scared and stood behind me
Ntokozo: Sit down, sit down
please. Khetho, my name is
Ntokozo Zulu. I'm a lawyer and
I'm here to help you. I will get
you out of here.
Khetho just cried and I held her
Me: She will help you, you'll get to
go bury your child
Khetho: I'm arrested for murder!
I have to serve 25years!
Ntokozo: I have dealt with
similar cases, woman who faced
life imprisonment. Please, just
trust me. I got Nosipho out, I
will do so with you too.
Khetho: You're leaving?
Me: I'm not leaving you behind
Menzi: You have to Nosipho or the
both of you will stay here for the
rest of your lives. Do you want
that?
Us: No
Ntokozo: Then trust me. Just
hold on one more night Khetho,
just one more.
Khetho: One night seems too good
to be true.
Ntokozo: Trust me, I work with
tycoons.
We laughed a little and I chose to
trust her too. Khetho smiled for
the very first time. This
advocate Zulu better not
disappoint us.
After an hour I was at the
doorstep of Kwanele's house. When
I got in, Funeka and Ntombi
attacked me with such a huge
hug.
Me: Let go! I can't breath
They hit me playfully and wiped
off their tears. Kwanele was
standing there, in a black suit
looking all formal.
Kwanele: Welcome home
I laughed and went to hug him.
He held me tighter and for a
while. It felt so good to in his
arms, I was safe and I was
really home. I tried letting go but
he didn't budge. He held me
tighter and then his hands
caressed my cheeks while I looked
deep into his closed eyes. His lips
touched mine slowly and they were
soo cold yet so sweet. He kissed
me slowly and passionately I
kissed him back. What was
happening? Why was he kissing
me? We kissed for a while and I
moved back.
Kwanele: I'm sorry I couldn't get
you out quicker.
I nodded, I couldnt speak. I was
still dumbstruck from the kiss we
just had and I needed answers to
all the questions in my mind.

Insert 7
To say things are awkward
between Kwanele and I would be
such an understatement. I kept
on avoiding all sorts of contact
with him. I know he cannot see
me but he knows when I'm near
him. I waited till he left the
kitchen, my stomach was
grumbling I needed to eat. He
left and I quickly rushed in. I
sighed and made my sandwiches.
Kwanele: You could've just used
the kitchen on the second floor.
Shit! He's back in here and
standing behind me,
Me: Uhm... it slipped my mind...
That was such a stupid reply but
okay, I've said it.
Kwanele: You're failing at running
from me. Why do you wanna avoid
me?
Me: I'm not avoiding you. Why
would I avoid you?
I tried to defend myself but I
think I'm failing. I don't know
what this sudden effect he has
on me means. I don't know why
I'm feeling this way and I can't
even explain it. He came closer and
I kept on moving closer to the
kitchen counter. My knees were
feeling weaker and weaker, each
time he moved closer to me.
Kwanele: Talk to me Nosipho,
what did I do wrong?
Me: Nothing, you did nothing
wrong.
Kwanele: Do you regret what
happened last night?
Me: Uhmm.... no...yes... no.
Kwanele: I'm going to ask again
Nosipho, do you regret what
happened last night? He was too
close to me. He's lips were close to
touching mine.
Me: No I don't.
I think I answered him firmly
without fumbling
Me: Good. Get ready, we're
leaving in an hour.
With that said he just left.
I finished up my breakfast and
went to get ready. We were going
to court for Khetho's hearing. I
must say, I feel very nervous
about it. But I trust Advocate
Zulu. After getting dressed in a
black dress and purple coat with
black boots I went downstairs
and waited for Kwanele and
Menzi. Funeka was busy in the
kitchen and I don't know where
Ntombi is.
Me: Where is Ntombi?
Funeka: They went to get
breakfast with Menzi.
I nodded and watched TV. After
a few minutes they came in. I
wasn't hungry but hey, they
brought takeouts from
fishaways, who says no to hake
and prawns? Not me. We ate and
Kwanele came downstairs
Funeka: Want to eat bro?
Kwanele: No thank you. I'll eat
later. Finish up so we can go."
He seemed down for some reason.
We continued eating while I kept
on stealing glances at him. Its a
good thing he can't see me. If he
did, he'd think I'm crazy. In an
hour we were all on our way to
court. I was in Funeka's car and
we were just driving in
comfortable silence. When we got
to court I quickly rushed to
Advocate Zulu.
Me: Morning, may I please give
this dress to Khetho? I want her
to look presentable.
Ntokozo: How thoughtful of you,
I'll go give it to her so she can
change. Thank you.
We went to our seats and after a
while she came out looking
beautiful yet her face showed
how much pain she is in. She's too
light skinned, her face is red now
with grey eye bags. I'm too dark,
my face doesnt even show any red
cheeks when I blush or
something. She saw me and smiled
a bit. Advocate Zulu was talking
to Kwanele, Bonga and some lady
I don't know. The judge came in
and we had to stand up then
settle down. Ntokozo and this
other lady presented her case and
they had a strong case. I don't
know much about law or anything
else but I was positive, I had to
be. There was a mini break and
we'd hear what the judge has
decided. We all stepped out and
there were some journalists
taking pictures
Me: Why are they taking
pictures?
Lady: You are being presented by
famous lawyers. Plus,
Khethokuhles story is a big story
that needs to be out there and
recognized. Action should be taken
and she should be set free. By the
way, I'm Advocate Buthelezi.
Mrs Snenhlanhla Buthelezi, I
work with Ntokozo.
Me: Do you think she'll win the
case?
Sneh: Most definitely
Kwanele: I found where they've
been keeping her daughters body
and husbands.
Me: I doubt she'll care about
Khethelo's body.
Ntombi: Some men are just too
cruel out there. Raping your own
child, an infant for that matter
who hasn't even fully formed
properly.
Funeka: It is just disgusting and
depressing
Ntokozo: We just hope that one
day, she'll be able to recover from
all this.
Menzi: Therapy will be good for
her
Kwanele was just awkwardly
silent and this thing of feeling like
he's looking at me keeps on
happening. After an hour we went
back in and they proceeded
"Mrs Zuma will be granted bail of
R40 000 and all charges will be
dismissed. Thank you"- the judge
said. I gasped, really so much
money! She had to kill that
bastard! What she did shouldn't
even be considered as a crime.
Khetho just cried and I did too.
Kwanele: Get the money in my car
Funeka.
Funeka: Yes Bhuti
Funeka responded and she went
out. He will pay the bail money?
He held my hand and squeezed it.
Funeka came back and handed
over a briefcase to Menzi.
Kwanele and Menzi went to the
lawyers while we sat and waited.
Ntombi: Let's go wait in the car
Ntombi suggested and we went
out. We were just silent waiting
to see what will happen next.
They came out with a crying
Khethokuhle and she ran to me.
She hugged me so hard and I
laughed in between tears.
Me: Hey, stop crying now. It's all
over. We're not prisonsers
anymore.
Khetho: Fat Teboho won't bully us
anymore
Khetho says and she laughs loudly.
Menzi: Oh she can laugh!
Funeka: Shut up Menzi.
Menzi: What? She has a cute
laugh. Unlike someone I know.
Me: Whatever Menzi. You just
know how to spoil sweet moments.
Bonga: Well let us love and leave
you. It was good to meet you.
Zondi, we'll talk soon.
Khetho: Thank you very much Mr
Luthuli, Mrs Zulu and Mrs
Buthelezi. I really appreciate
your help. And thank you both Mr
Zondi's.
Sneh: Its a pleasure. We always
aim to make the world a better
place.
We said our goodbyes and they
left.
Kwanele: Drive to the house. We'll
all meet there.
Again he just makes a demand
and we listen. He is still in his foul
mood, maybe something happened.
I drive Funeka's car since she
said she's lazy and she drove
when we came to court.
Apparently she's not used to
driving herself, she has a driver.
We got to the house and I went
to pack my bag while everyone
settled at the lounge. I put it in
my car and went over to everyone
else.
Menzi: So you'll go tomorrow?
They seem to be in a deep
conversation
Khetho: Yes, Khethelo's body can
be taken to his family. I doubt
they'll allow me to be at his
funeral. I don't want to go
either.
Ntombi: Won't they want you to
bury Onesipho there too?
Khetho: That won't happen. My
family will bury my child.
Kwanele: If that's what you
want. We'll be there to support
you at all times.
Khetho: Thank you Mr Zondi
Kwanele: Call me Kwanele.
He said as he stood up.
Kwanele: I'm hungry now.
I have to get back to my job. I
seem to have forgetten about it
lately.
Me: Let me start cooking. Should
I make you a sandwich while you
wait?
Kwanele: No, I'll wait for you to
finish. In the meantime I'll just
have beer.
Me: On an empty stomach?
Kwanele: Yes
Me: Not happening, that's not
good for you and you know that.
I'll make you a sandwich, sit down.
I instructed him and he laughed.
I don't get why he was laughing
at me but I just proceeded with
what I was doing. While I was
feeding him his sandwich Simi
came in.
Simi: Helloo!!!! Anybody home and
alive?
Menzi: We're alive but I wish you
were dead
Simi: Shut up dork! Hey Nosi!!
Kwanele you dork! I've been calling
you. Hey Funeka and friends, my
name is Simi. She said, this girl
doesn't have a full stop. She's
always just looking fly and on
point. Very beautiful lady.
Kwanele: Are you in trouble?
Simi: Argh no. Why do you think
so?
Kwanele: You only call when you're
in trouble or you need a hook up.
Menzi cleared his throat and
laughed.
Simi: Oh no I didn't come for none
of that. I was just bored and
just came by to hang out.
She was already munching on
some chips and chatting up a
storm with Khetho. She's an
interesting character and she
didn't even seem to be paying any
attention to Kwanele. I don't
understand the relationship
between these two. And I do not
want to get involved. I dished up
when I was done and we sat by
the lounge and they ate. No one
wanted the fancy dinning area set
up. I was feeding him and
somehow it felt like he was
uncomfortable.
Me: Are you okay?
Kwanele: Yes I'm fine. I'm just
tired.
Me: You're sweating Kwanele are
you sure you're okay?
Kwanele: Yes
Menzi: Don't worry. It happens
from time to time. He'll get some
rest and he'll be fine.
I nodded and I was worried
about him. After he finished
eating he walked to his room and
I followed him. I've never took
time to appreciate and have a
good look at his room. It is all
white, I'm not amazed this man
is super clean and he likes
refreshing colours. I've figured
white and green are his favourite
colours. He is the arty type. His
portraits all have a certain
texture. He uses his hands to
appreciate fine art. I watched
him as he set up his bed and
walked to in and out of the
bathroom. How is it possible that
a blind man can do so much by
himself? Till this day I still think
that he is not blind.
Kwanele: Staring at someone is
very rude Nosipho.
He said as he disrupted my deep
thoughts. He sat on his bed and
laid down looking up. I took a wet
towel and took off his glasses,
I've done this once and I made a
mental note to always remember
to clean his eyes. I'm going beyond
my job description but hey, I don't
mind. He just remained silent, like
he was in deep thoughts and I
let him be.
Kwanele: I wish I could see you. I
need to know the face behind this
clumsy and interesting character.
I just kept quiet and I didn't
know how to respond to him. I
don't know, I just feel awkward
around him especially after the
kiss. The kiss, I need to know
what it meant.
Me: Kwanele
Kwanele: Nosipho
Me: Why did you kiss me?
Kwanele: Uhm...(clears throat)... I
wanted to comfort you. You had
been through alot."
Me: Oh... so it meant nothing?
Kwanele: It was a mistake
Nosipho. Don't let it get to your
head. I don't regret it but I
don't want to complicate things
between us. We have a good
employer and employee
relationship. Let's not ruin it.
Ouch. I nodded
I didn't care whether he can't
see me. I was hurt but I chose
to keep quiet and leave.
Me: I'm leaving. I'll be going back
to my apartment.
Kwanele: Take the week off and
help Khetho settle and prepare
for the funeral. She shouldn't
worry about the payments. I'll
take care of it.
Me: Thank you sir. I'll let her
know. Need anything else?"
Kwanele: No, close the door behind
you. We're back there, back where
he is just a mean man. I don't
know, I don't know why I
expected the kiss to mean
something to him.
Kwanele: Oh and Nosipho! Tell
Simi to come here, I need to blow
off some steam.
Me: Yes Sir.
That hurt.
Deep but hey, why am I getting
hurt by this?
I went downstairs and they were
watching tv
Me: Simi, your man is calling you
Simi: Woah sisi I'm very single
mina. Kwanele must leave me
alone. I came to chill not to fuck.
Plus, I wouldn't betray you like
that. I know my lane.
Me: Betray me? What do you
mean?
Simi: I know you have the hots
for him. I know a good girl when
I see one. I'm a bad bitch and all
but I still have a heart. I won't
touch your man again. Plus we
friends now, I'm being loyal.
This girl! Who said I wanted to
be friends with her. Menzi just
laughed and left us ladies alone.
What is she on about? I don't
have any feelings whatsoever for
Kwanele. I just care about him
since he's my boss and that's it.
Thats it.
Me: Let's go guys, Khetho you'll be
crashing with us. Funeka, I'll see
you around
Simi: You're leaving already?
Funeka: I'm coming with you guys
too
Simi: Me too
Ntombi: I guess we're taking the
party to our place
Simi: Wait here. I'm going to
steal something
Menzi: You do know that I'm here
Simi: I know dork
She ran downstairs while we took
our bags. She came with three
bottles of wine and she was
giggling as Menzi looked at her
with a bad eye.
Simi: Let's go!! I'm driving
Ntombi: Oh hell no! I don't trust
you
Simi: Argh come on! Matter of
fact, we're going to my house.
She lead us to Funeka's car and
indeed she drove.
Khetho: We've been on the road
for 30mins, where are we going?
Simi: We're almost there. I live a
bit far from here.
We finally arrived and I couldn't
believe what I was seeing
Ntombi: Is this your house?
Simi: Welcome to my jungle
Me: You call this a jungle? I call
this a palace
Simi: Argh come in and stop
daydreaming. Close your mouth
Khetho.
She walked in like it was just a
normal place. Well it is a normal
place to her
Me: You're rich....
Simi: Is that a question or a
statement?
Funeka: And here I was thinking
you're smashing with my brother
for money
Simi: Money? Argh no, I was just
having fun.
I misjudged her, I misgudged her
alot. We sat down and I felt out
of place. It was a gigantic house,
we'd fit so many people in here.
Me: You stay alone?
Simi: Yes
Khetho: Don't you feel scared?
Simi: No. My parents went
overboard when they bought me
this house. I was scared at first
but I got used to it.
Funeka: You're damn rich
Simi: Its my parent's money, not
mine.
Ntombi: Where are they?
Simi: England
Me: And why are you here?
Simi: I just never wanted to
leave where I was born you know.
I just wanted to be home
We sat down as she prepared
snacks for us and we watched
movies. We all got to know a whole
lot more about each other and
Khetho was loosening up and she
hasn't cried at all. We planned her
daughters funeral and she was
okay, it was emotional but she
hasn't cried. She's dealing with it
in such a way and she has a great
support system. Instead of
sleeping we stayed up all night
just talking, eating and drinking.
It was fun to be around these
girls and it was safe to call them
my friends. A crazy bunch I tell
you.
Khetho: Let's sleep
Me: Its 6am
Ntombi: We'll wake up at 8am
then go to Khethos home
We all agreed on waking up at 8.
It's something I didn't trust at
all because when I sleep, I really
sleep. I'm what they call a deep
sleeper, you can come in and steal
everything when I'm sleeping, I
won't hear a thing. Simi gave us
pyjamas and they seemed new. I
won't even ask, this kid is rich.

Insert 8
I thought we wouldn't wake up
at 8am but Miss Simi had her
own plans. She woke us up at
exactly 8am, banging a steel pot
and spoon over our heads. We
were forced out of bed! I strolled
downstairs feeling tired and still
sleepy, even a shower didn't help
me at all.
Funeka: Breakfast is ready, hurry
up.
Khetho was just silent and we let
her. Today is a big day for her.
Simi: Wear these sweet heart,
we'll pass by your apartment so
you and Ntombi can change then
Funeka and we proceed with the
rest of the day. Honestly, we
didn't even know what is
happening today. Khetho went to
change and she looked cute, the
clothes looked new. I wasn't
shocked, my mind has took it all in,
Simi is filthy rich.
Me: What's your surname Simi?
Simi: Simi Photholo.
Me: First time I hear of that
surname
Simi: It's my moms, my actual
surname is Torres.
Me: You're mixed race?
Simi: Yes.
I nodded and we were off to my
apartment. I work a black long
dress and we had head wraps on.
We went to Funeka's and she also
changed and packed a bag. I
received a call from Kwanele, I
was shocked. This is the first
time he calls, Menzi always calls
me. I mean like Menzi did dial my
number on Kwanele's phone so
maybe he made the call but
technically Kwanele is making the
call... okay whatever, what I'm
saying makes no sense but it
makes sense.
Me: Nosipho Bilose speaking hello
Kwanele: Thats so formal
Me: You're my boss
Kwanele: Nosipho
Me: Yes sir
He sighs and clears his throat.
Kwanele: You and the girls should
come to my house. Onesiphos body
has arrived, we have to leave.
Me: Okay we'll be there now.
I guess they are leading
everything. I told the girls and
we went to Kwanele's place. He
was so sexy standing by the door
waiting for us. I was blown away,
I was charmed and I couldnt
take my eyes off him. Simi pocked
my butt and laughed
Simi: You're so taken
Me: No, no I'm not
Simi: You're literally drooling. Geez,
I wonder what's in your mind
Me: Leave me alone Simi
She giggles and they go inside.
Khetho is still just silent and
Ntombi is holding her hand. There
was a little coffin, it was too
small. She didn't deserve to die in
such a painful way. The coffin
looked beautiful and expensive. It
had white and green flowers
around it.
Khetho: Open it
Menzi: I don't think that's a good
idea
Khetho: I wanna see her
Menzi: No, you won't be able to
cope. Seeing her like this shouldn't
be the last image you have off
her in her mind.
We watched as these two argued,
Menzi had a valid point but
Khetho was having none of it.
Menzi: Please, listen to me
Khetho.
Khetho: Menzi Peterson Zondi!!!
She screamed, Menzi's second
name is Peterson? How did she
even know that? I didn't even
know that. Mmmm.
Menzi held her hand and opened
the coffin
Me: No! No!
I couldn't, I couldn't. Why wasn't
she covered up? Who on earth
does this to an infant. I was
crying, I couldnt hold it in. Khetho
was screaming with Menzi holding
her trying to calm her down.
Ntombi was sitting on the couch
crying silently. Funeka holding Simi
who was breaking down.
I felt him, I felt his hand on my
shoulder. My knees were failing
me. He's touch was weakening my
entire body. Is it normal to feel
this way with him just touching
me?
Kwanele: Don't cry. Don't cry, you
need to be strong for your friend.
He said as he squeezed my hand
and gave me a bottle of water.
There was a knock on the door
and I rushed to answer. I needed
to be away from him. And damn,
did I subject myself to opening
the door for such a handsome
man. Where do such men come
from?
Me: Hii
It came out as a squeaky
whisper. I cleared my throat and
laughed
Him: Hi, I'm Vusmuzi. Kwanele
and Menzi's friend. They called me
to come over
Me: Uhm sure come in.
He went in and I walked behind
him.
Vusi: Kwanele
Kwanele: Vusi
They both nodded and that was
it. Is that some signature
greeting?
Menzi: We should get going. We
have a long journey ahead of us
Me: Who will stay behind and
guard the house?
Kwanele: Kwenzo will come over
with his friend.
Me: Okay.
We went out and the travel
arrangements were made. I was
stuck in a car with Kwanele,
great! I tried to challenge it and
ride with Simi or Funeka but no. I
didn't win. These girls were just
against me.
We had a driver which I didn't
see a need for, I was going to
drive but he was having non of
that. We sat at the back and I
faced the window
Kwanele: Relax, I don't bite.
He pressed something and we
were completely covered, the was
something separating the front
seat and the back seat. Like in a
limo kinda thing... had I paid
attention in English class maybe
I'd know what it's name is.
Kwanele: Are you okay now?
Me: Yes
Kwanele: So you didn't call Simi for
me last night?
Me: I did and she rejected you. I
saw it as unnecessary to walk up
those stairs just to tell you she
said no.
Kwanele: She's never turned me
down, she loves my dick
The arrogancy in that statement!
Me: We all fall out of love
sometimes
Kwanele: You know she broke up
with me last night
Me: Oh is it? You were dating?
Kwanele: Argh no, as in she
stopped our smash relationship
Me: You even have a name for
that stupidity. People who break
up are people in a relationship
Kwanele, not what you guys were
doing.
Kwanele: It was a relationship
but just not the boring romantic
one.
Me: Whatever you say Kwanele
Kwanele: Define Relationship for
me
Silence...
Silence...
Silence..
What is the definition of
Relationship? My hands were
literally sweating. I don't even
know how to define relationship.
Where's the dictionary?
Me: I can't define it....
He turned and faced me. He was
doing that thing of looking at me
yet he can't see me. Probably he's
thinking how dumb can this girl
be?
Kwanele: A relationship is a
connection between or among
persons. It is the tie or degree of
kinship or intimacy or an affair. So
that justifies my point. Simi and
I were in a special kind of
relationship
Me: Right.
I just didn't want to speak about
relationships anymore. I couldn't
define relationship, I'm so
embarrassed I wish I could just
jump out of this window.
Kwanele: So back to what is
important. She said she's
stopping our thing because she
respects you
Me: She did?
Kwanele: Yes and now that means
you Miss Nosipho Bilose are
responsible for this whatsoever
break up.
Me: No I'm not.
Kwanele: Yes you are. So I'm in
need of Simi's replacement. Since
you were responsible maybe you
should replace her
What! Is this man listening to
himself?
Me: Excuse me?
Kwanele: You're excused
Me: Kwanele, I don't know what
the fuck you think of me! I will
not do that, do you understand?
Simi and I are different people.
She is okay with what she does
and I will not judge her because it
is her choice. As for me, I do not
do that and I will not start now.
Please, do not upset me.
Kwanele: You can't even shout
He just laughed and held my hand.
Gosh! Why is he doing this to me?
Kwanele: Relax yourself. It was a
joke.
Me: Well then Mr, you have bad
jokes
Kwanele: It wasn't that bad. I
mean, it's not even such a bad
idea
Me: Shut up Kwanele
Kwanele: If I shut up this whole
ride will be boring. And you'll
definitely miss my sexy voice
Me: You're so arrogant and stupid
Kwanele: Ouch
When you look at Kwanele, you
don't even think he could be this
stupid and utter the nonsense
that comes out of his small lips.
Its true when they say don't
judge a book by its cover. I just
kept quiet and closed my eyes.
Just as I was falling asleep, he
touched me.
Me: Stop it
Kwanele: I knew this would wake
you up
Me: How did you know I was
asleep?
Kwanele: Your silence and the
change in your breathing pattern
has changed
Me: Oh
Kwanele: You should stop asking
me how I know things
Me: I just get curious. Like you
can see at times
Kwanele: I'm a blind man Nosipho.
You have to accept me as I am
sooner or later.
Me: I have accepted you
Kwanele: No you haven't. You still
ask me how I'm able to tell
things. Its like you have that
hope of me waking up and being
able to see again. Or that I'll tell
you I've been pretending all this
while, I can see. Nosipho, I
cannot see. I am blind, I will
never ever be able to see again.
Get that into your mind and
accept me. Menzi tells me how you
still look at me with tears in your
eyes at times, stop. Stop doing
that Nosipho
Me: I will stop and I will accept
you. It is just hard okay, its hard
Kwanele: Why?
Me: Because I care about people
and I've never been around a blind
person or any disabled person so I
don't know how to act.
Kwanele: I'm not disabled, I am
just blind.
Me: What happened Kwanele?
Kwanele: That's a story for
another day. You're still going to
be in my life for a long time, infact
you're going to be in my life.
Forever
Me: Forever is a long time
Kwanele.
Kwanele: I know. You're a good
cook, so there's no way I'm
letting you go.
Me: I'll get married one day and
go have my kids. I won't be
working for you then
Kwanele: You want to get married
and have kids?
Me: Yes
Kwanele: Mmmh
Me: Where are we going?
Kwanele: KwaSitshi, I think it is
in Mount Frere
Me: I want to sleep
Kwanele: And you're going to just
let me stay up alone?
Me: You have a wild imagination,
it will keep you company.
He laughed and I slept. My head
was a bit uncomfortable and I
kept on twisting and turning it.
Kwanele: Lay your head on my
chest or my shoulder. You choose
Me: Uhm.. I'm fine...
Kwanele: You just laying your head
on me Nosipho. We're not doing
anything inappropriate.
I nodded and layed my head on his
shoulder. He smelled so good. I fell
into a deep slumber and I was so
comfortable.
After a few hours, I felt the car
stop and I opened my eyes.
Kwanele: I was about to wake
you up. They're stopping for
refreshments, wanna go with
them?
Me: Yes aren't you coming?
Kwanele: No, I'll stay in the car. I
don't like places I'm not familiar
with
Me: Where are we?
Kwanele: Kokstad
Me: Okay, I'll get you something
to eat
Kwanele: Thank you
I walked out and joined the
others. I wasn't the only one who
was fast asleep and there was so
much tension here. I grabbed
Ntombi aside.
Me: What did I miss?
Ntombi: Khetho and Menzi argue
like cat and mouse. I'm riding
with Simi and Funeka now I can't
take it.
I laughed and Menzi did seem like
he was irritated. We ladies
started at the bathrooms and did
our business then joined Menzi
while he was getting some
snacks.
Me: I need Amahewu, the
pineapple flavour
Menzi: So unlike you Miss Chef
I laughed at him and helped him
out. We paid and went to the side
with restaurants
Menzi: What do you wanna get
ladies?
Khetho: A steers burger please
Funeka: Make that two
Simi: I'll have pizza
Ntombi: I want steers
sandwiches
Menzi: And you?
Me: Nothing. I don't eat when I
travel long distances, I'll vomit.
What does Kwanele like?
Menzi: We'll get him the
sandwiches
We then witnessed another
argument between Khetho and
Menzi. Khetho didn't know what
type of burger she wants and
they argued about that. Menzi
ended up choosing for her and she
didn't like it.
Menzi: You haven't even tasted
Khethokuhle
Khetho: Yes but I don't like it.
Menzi sighs and changes the
order. I just laughed at them and
there was peace. We got
everything and I went back to
the car.
Me: Do you want to eat now?
Kwanele: No, you eat first
Me: I don't eat when I travel
long distances. I vomit
He laughed at me and stopped
the car. The others stopped too
when they saw him stepping out
of the car
Me: Why are we stopping?
Kwanele: Get out of the car.
The others came over to us and
we were all wondering why we're
stopping
Kwanele: Lick the cars tire and
you'll be fine. You'll never vomit
again
Me: I'm not doing that. Its even
dirty
Vusi poured water on it and
cleaned a spot for me to lick
Kwanele: Hurry, we don't have
much time.
Wow! I cannot believe I'm doing
this. I was literally crying as I
licked and I drank water
afterwards.
Kwanele: Why are you crying? Its
not like you're going to die. It will
help.
They were laughing at me and I
went back into the car.
Me: Let's go please.
Kwanele: You're angry now?
Me: No I'm not angry.
He nodded and the driver drove
off.
Me: Okay, let's get you fed and
I'll eat later. I'm still
traumatised
He laughed at me and I fed him.
I'm getting used to doing this
without feeling sorry for him. I
guess he was right, I did have a
little hope that he would see one
day. Accepting him as he is, is
what I have to do both mentally
and emotionally.

Insert 9
We arrived at KwaSitshi later in
the evening. I woke up in
Kwanele's arms, I don't know how
it happened but I was sleeping on
him in the car like a small baby
and he didn't even seem to mind.
He just acted normal while I was
embarrassed. But not as
embarrassed as I was when I
couldn't define relationship. That,
I will never forget!
We were in the kitchen cooking,
Khetho said we're going to the
villages but her home wasn't a
bhundu house. Her family was so
welcoming and they were all
saddened about their
granddaughters death.
Funeka: I'm tired
She sat down and watched us as
we cooked. We were with two of
Khetho's cousins. Apparently
there are no boys in this
household. They only have girls,
the boys who are helping out here
are from the village. Khethokuhle
is the only child on her mothers
side and her father has two
other daughters outside of
marriage who will arrive here
tomorrow.
Simi: Ntuthu, pass me the bag of
potatoes please
Ntuthu is one of the cousins and
the other one is Getty. I don't
know where Menzi, Kwanele and
Vusi were. I recieved a call and it
was from my dad, oh wow, they
remembered me.
Me: Dad
Dad: How are you doing little one?
Me: I'm broke, hungry and an
orphan
He laughed at me and I ended up
laughing too. My parents were
punishing me, too much.
Dad: I hope you're learning a
lesson and standing on your own
two feet.
Me: Yes dad, you've given me the
speech already
Dad: Do you even have a job?
Me: Yes actually I do, a well
paying job and I'm still staying in
my apartment. I pay rent, I buy
my own food and petrol dear
father
Dad: Good girl, that's what I
want to hear. And my cards are
resting, you would be finishing my
hard earned money. Your mother
and I spoiled you too much
Me: Speaking of my mom, where is
she and where on earth are you
guys?
Dad: Brazil, she went out to do
her hair
Me: And I'm in South Africa, the
eastern cape with a doek on my
head while my parent's are in
Brazil. Perfect
Dad: What are you doing there?
Are you getting married?
Me: Really now Dad? Why would I
get married without you guys
Dad: I don't know. Anyways stay
safe, I love you
Me: Bye dad, I love you too.
I believe I have the weirdest
relationship with my parents.
They had me when they were 17,
they didn't really get the time to
be going out and enjoying their
lives. They focused on me and now
that I'm old enough, they've been
living their best life and I don't
blame them, they're just 40 and
they do say life begins at 40.
We served the elders and everyone
at the yard. I still didn't see
where they were. I called Menzi
and Vusi answered the phone
Me: Where are guys? I've been
looking for you
Vusi: When you step outside,
there's a hut at the far end of
the houses. We're there
Me: Okay I'm coming, you guys
need to eat
Vusi: Bring lots of food, we're
hungry.
I dished up for them and Khetho
followed me with their plates. We
dished up 3plates extra. Vusi
opened and we got in. They were
chilling having beers and
traditional beer, the driver was
also here with them. They've
turned this into their own
mancave.
Me: You guys are drinking on
empty stomachs
Kwanele: Sweet Nosi, with a
beautiful voice has arrived!
Me: Okay, someone is drunk
already
He laughed and I sat next to him.
They kept on singing silly songs
and Vusi was laughing the
loudest. They are really a bunch of
dorks.
Khetho: You guys are going to
sleep here. I'll bring more
blankets
Menzi: No it's okay, the blankets
are enough thank you.
Khetho: Will you bath before you
sleep? I'll get you some warm
water
Kwanele: Please do, I need a bath.
Khetho: Uhm can you use a basin?
Kwanele: I've never used one
before but I'll manage
Menzi: We'll help him out
Khetho: Don't piss me off. How
will you do it when you can barely
even stand?
They just laughed and we left
them there.
Me: Tell me when the water is
warm. I'll go help him out
Khetho: Okay I'll do so.
I went back to the kitchen and
they had started washing the
dishes. I sat down next to
Funeka, I've figured that she's
very lazy and can hardly do things
herself. I ate and we cleaned up
the kitchen
Ntuthu: We'll sleep at the house
near the gate. I'm going to fetch
my things at home, should I bring
something to drink?
Simi: Alcohol
Ntuthu laughed and she nodded.
Khetho called me when the water
was warm and I poured it into a
bucket and took a basin. He was
alone in the room when I got
there, the other morons didn't
want to bath. He was sitting on
the bed and I poured the water
in the basin. I was nervous about
what I was doing. I took off his
clothes and he was left in his
boxers and a vest. He kept on
shifting and he was very
uncomfortable.
Me: Kwanele, we're not going to
finish this if you keep on acting
this way.
Kwanele: Fine
I held him and put the basin on a
stool so it could be higher and he
wouldn't have to kneel.
Me: We do need to take off the
vest Kwanele
Kwanele: No!
Me: You're going to bath with a
vest on?
Kwanele: Yes.
I took his toiletries and gave
him. He bathed his upper body,
with the vest on! It was funny.
He's just being stubborn
Me: I'll go call your sister to help
you out okay? You'll be more
comfortable with that?
Kwanele: Sure
I went to call Funeka and she
rushed to attend his brother.
The boys were putting in another
bed in this room we'd use and
they left. I took a bath and
changed into pyjamas and
wrapped a small blanket around
my waist to hide the pants, this
family doesn't allow women to
wear pants. Khetho's mom came
in
Ma: Thank you my children for
helping out today. I appreciate it
and have yourself a goodnight
Ntombi: Thank you ma
Ma: Who cooked that delicious
stew? The uncles couldnt stop
complimenting it
Khetho: It was Nosi mama, She's
a chef
Ma: Hhayi you can cook my child.
Me: Thank you mama
She went out and Funeka came in.
Me: You look exhausted
Funeka: My handsome brother
decided to drop the basin and the
water was all over the place. I
had to mop that room
Getty: You're so lazy, you're
complaining just because you had
to mop?
Funeka: When last did I mop the
floor? Its been years
We laughed at her and she threw
herself on the bed. Ntuthu came
in with three castle lite six packs
and wine.
Ntuthu: I didn't know what you
guys drink, so I settled for these.
Simi: I drink anything with alcohol
in it
Funeka: Before I forget, Kwanele
is calling you
I went to their room and knocked,
I don't want to barge in on some
things I wouldn't be able to
handle. He opened the door and
came out.
Kwanele: Let's go sit behind the
house. I need some fresh air
We went to sit behind the house,
there were some chairs here.
Maybe they sat here earlier on
because he led the way. I guess
he quickly familiarises himself
with certain places. We sat in
silence and I was beginning to
wonder why did he call me to come
sit with him here.
Kwanele: I enjoy being around you
Me: You do?
Kwanele: Yes, I wish I could be
around you all the time. I don't
even know why I called you here
but I just wanted to annoy you
before you sleep
Me: You're crazy
Kwanele: How do you know when
you're inlove with someone?
Me: I don't know, I guess you're
constantly thinking about that
person, when you're around them
you feel complete. Like you don't
need anything or anyone else but
just him. When he touches you, you
feel your whole body shivering like
there's that spark that's so
electrifying. You have that wierd
feeling in your stomach and it's
mind blowing too
Kwanele: They call it butterflies
Me: Yes, butterflies. I believe
being inlove with someone is the
most magical feeling ever.
Kwanele: It seems like you're
talking about someone, are you
inlove with someone?
Me: Yes
Kwanele: Does that person know?
Me: No, he doesn't know. He can't
see that I'm inlove with him. He
can't see the spark in my eyes
when I'm with him.
Kwanele: Why don't you tell him?
Me: I don't want to get hurt.
Plus, he's far from here. I don't
want to have false hope. He's
probably inlove with someone else
Kwanele: Oh
Silence...
Silence...
Silence...
Kwanele: You've been inlove before
him?
Me: I thought I was.
Kwanele: Elaborate
Me: Couldn't you just say explain?
You're over educated.
Kwanele:(laughs) You're avoiding
my question
Me: I thought I was inlove
before but now, what I feel now
is waay different to what I felt
then.
Kwanele: I understand
Me: Are you inlove with someone?
Kwanele: I think I am
Me: Why don't you tell her?
Kwanele: She's inlove with
someone else. Plus, she doesn't
deserve me. I'm not good at this
love thing
Me: I understand
He's inlove with someone else....
imagine if I had told him I'm
inlove with him while he's inlove
with someone else. That would've
been so embarrassing. We stayed
out for a while just talking and I
got to know more about Kwanele.
I got to know more about who
Kwanele Zondi is but in all that, it
was like he was just giving me
bits and pieces of who he is and
not everything. He told me about
how he's parents were so
protective of him. At times, he
couldnt even go play outside. He
had fun when it was school
holidays and Menzi was around,
then he would go wherever they
want to because the parents
trusted Menzi to look after him.
Kwanele: I don't know how I'll
ever repay or thank Menzi. That
man has been more than a
brother to me. He has been with
me for as long as I can remember.
It seems as if Menzi doesn't
have a life without Kwanele and
Kwanele doesnt have a life
without Menzi either. It shows
how much of a good heart Menzi
has, to give away his life to
taking care and always being with
your brother at all times. Maybe
he is held back in his life because
he is with Kwanele. It shows how
much of a selfless man he is. He's
lived his life while helping Kwanele
live his too.
Me: He is a good man
Kwanele: No words can describe
what a great man he is. I
sometimes feel like I'm holding
him back. He's always been the
type that wanted to get married,
have kids and retire at 45 so he
can be with his family. He's 35
now, he's going to be 45 in 10
years but he still isn't married nor
have any kids. I mean, he should
be doing that now but he's busy
taking care of me. He's putting
his life aside, for me. Whenever I
talk to him about it he just
brushes it off and says he's never
going to leave me. Vusi likes
saying we're married
I laughed at him and he's phone
rang.
Kwanele: Its in my left pocket,
answer it for me please.
I took out the phone and
answered it. It was Kwenzo
Kwanele: Speak
Kwenzo: Where are the cereals in
this house? I've been looking for
it
Kwanele: You're calling me for
that nonsense
Kwenzo: Yes and to tell you that
I need some money
Kwanele: How much?
Kwenzo: Maybe 5K
Kwanele: Go to my office
downstairs, you'll get it in the left
drawer next to the book shelf.
Kwenzo: Thanks bro.
He ended the call and we were
silent for a while.
Me: How many siblings do you
have?
Kwanele: 4, Menzi is the eldest,
then myself, Funeka, Thando then
Kwenzo. Thando is in the US.
Me: Oh wow, I thought you were
older
Kwanele: Menzi is 10days older
than me. He throws that at my
face every chance he gets. And
you?
Me: I'm the one and only child.
The first and last
Kwanele: Thought as much. You're
25, had no proper job. Menzi told
me you're always wearing
expensive clothing, you're clumsy.
The only thing you can do properly
is cook so yeah you showed many
signs of being a spoilt kid just like
that sister of mine, Funeka.
Me: I'm better than Funeka.
Kwanele: Thando is worse, she
thinks the world revolves around
her.
I laughed at him as he told me
about Thando's dramatic episodes
and how they are always fighting.
We spent hours just chilling
outside and talking. It was
around 2am when I went back to
the girls and they were still
awake besides Ntombi, I wasn't
shocked. She loves her sleep more
than she loves anything. She
wouldn't stay up to save her life.
Khetho: And?
Me: And what?
Funeka: You've been gone for
hours
Me: Yes. We were outside talking
Ntuthu: Just talking?
Me: Yes.
Getty kept on giving me some
nasty looks and I sensed a bad
vibe from her but I decided not
to pay any attention to it.
#NextMorning.
It was a very hot morning, I
wondered how it would be for the
rest of the day. I was wearing a
long yellow skirt and a white long
sleeve t'shirt. I'm dark naturally,
I don't want to be sun burnt and
be worse than I already am. I
was sweeping the lawn outside,
well I was avoiding having to
make tea for the elders so I
decided to sweep the lawn. I had
a straw hat on and Ntuthu came
and gave me isbovu, which I say
is red soil. She said it will help
with the sun burn.
Menzi: I can already picture you in
the yards of KwaZondi being the
perfect makoti there.
Me: Oh really now?
Menzi: Yes, you look cute.
Me: Thank you very much
Menzi: Awu Mam wengane
zakaZondi, Siyabonga
Gagashe(Mother of the Zondi
children. Thank you Gagashe.)
Me: You're crazy, I'm not going to
marry you.
Menzi: I'm not talking about me.
Why on earth would I marry you?
Me: What! What is wrong with
me?
Menzi: Nothing but I just
wouldnt marry you. I have my
eyes on someone else. Plus I'm
talking about you marrying a
special somebody
He said that as he danced.
Honestly, it was too hot for
Menzi's nonsense. I hit him with
the broom and he laughed while
running away from me. Argh, I'm
exhausted. I just stood by the
little shade I found and watched
as Getty swayed her ass at
Kwanele while serving him. Vusi
kept on laughing. Doesn't she
know that he is blind and doesn't
see all the nonsense she is doing?
She sits on Kwanele's lap and he
keeps on shifting uncomfortably
and she takes the bread and tries
feeding him. What on earth is she
doing? I made my way to them
while just laughing.
Me: Uhm thank you Getty, I'll
take it from here.
She looked at me and left
hurriedly while mumbling
something
Vusi: Thank you for rescuing him
Kwanele: She's heavy
Wow.
I just laughed with them and fed
Kwanele.
Me: She was swaying her ass at
you
Kwanele: You were watching as I
was suffering
Me: I needed that little
entertainment
Kwanele: Till you got jealous at all
the attention she was giving me
and came to get rid of her
Me: I wasn't jealous. I was just
helping you
Kwanele: You were cockblocking me
He's stupid.
Kwanele: Why are you breathing
heavily now? Don't be upset its a
joke
Me: I'm not upset, I have no
reason to.
My phone rang and it was Ntombi
but I wanted to make this idiot
jealous. I giggled
Me: Sorry I have to take this,
I've been waiting for Thami to
call me
Kwanele: Thami?
Me: Yes, the guy I told you about
last night.
I quickly left them and rushed to
the room we were using and found
Ntombi there
Ntombi: I've been looking for you.
Let's go
Me: Uhm okay
Ntombi: What's going on with
you?
Me: Nothing
I hope it worked, I mean he is
inlove with someone else so why
would I think he would be jealous
about what I do? Stop making a
fool out of yourself Nosipho.
Kwanele is inlove with someone
else. Get that into your mind.

Insert 10
The past few days have been
hectic. We have been busy with
the funeral and a traditional
ceremony for Khetho. The funeral
was a success yet it was so sad.
It was heartbreaking and
Khetho couldn't hold it in. I've
never seen someone cry so much
and it is very much
understandable. I don't know how
I'd be if I was in her situation.
It is heartbreaking yet she is
still able to laugh with us after
everything she has been through.
The traditional ceremony was
apparently for cleansing her, she
did kill someone and they believed
his spirit might haunt her so a
traditional ceremony was to
cleanse her from all those bad
spirits. We went back home
yesterday and arrived late at
night. We crashed at Kwanele's
house and I went to sleep when
we arrived. I woke up and it
looked like I was the only one
awake. I took a shower and went
to the kitchen to make some
breakfast. I put some music on, a
bit of Jorja Smith will brighten
up my day. I was singing as I
was making breakfast. Kwanele
came downstairs while humming
Blue Lights which was playing on
my phone
Me: I didn't know you listen to
Jorja
Kwanele: I listen to alot of
different artist, different genres.
Let's just say, if a song is good, I
listen to it.
Me: I get you
He sat down as I finished up. I
dished up for him and fed him.
He's always just so silent when I
feed him, okay he won't really talk
while eating but still he just
becomes so silent. I finished up
and gave him something to drink
while I dished up for myself. My
phone rang and I didn't answer it.
Kwanele: Is it Thami?
Me: Thami? Who is Thami?
Kwanele: You do need to remember
your lie if you're going to lie to
someone.
Fuck!! I'm screwed! Who did I say
Thami was again?
Kwanele: Let me remind you,
Thami is the guy you're inlove
with and he called you a few days
back.
Me: Oh him...
I can't believe I forgot my fake
crushes name. Who does that?
You really need to have a better
memory if you're going to create
such stories. I giggled and went
to sit next to him.
Me: Well Thami was just a lie to
make you jealous since you said
I'm jealous because of Getty's
stunt
Kwanele: It worked.
Me: You were jealous?
Kwanele: A bit.
Me: Really now?
Kwanele: Yes.
The sliding doors opened and all
the windows, this automatically
happenes every day at 8am. It is
such a beautiful view when you're
sitting at the kitchen, you get to
see this entire floor. This house is
just refreshing.
Me: What made you go for a
white look? This house is amazing
Kwanele: I guess you and Menzi
have something in common. I
don't know how this house looks,
however it is, he is responsible. I
only added the portraits that I
make.
Me: So these paintings in this
house were painted by you?
Kwanele: Yes
Me: I'm impressed.
Kwanele: Can you paint?
Me: No
Kwanele: Let's go paint while
these monkey's are still asleep.
He walked away and I followed
him. We went to the far end of
the house and we got into a dark
room. He switched on the light
and I've just never seen such
beauty in one place
Me: All these are made by you?
Kwanele: Some were made by my
father, he taught me.
Me: Is your father blind too?
Kwanele: No. When I got blind, my
father was angry and mostly
clueless about living with a blind
child. So he went for training, to
learn how to live with blindness
and to learn things he can teach
me. When he came back, he passed
on all of that knowledge to me. He
can do alot with his eyes closed.
My father is my hero, he made me
who I am today. If it wasn't for
him, I wouldn't know how to do all
these things. I'd probably just be
laying in bed all day with my mom
taking care of me. My father
always said "Your blindness is no
excuse. I will not raise a weak
man, a dysfunctional man. A
disabled man, my boy, your
blindness doesn't make you
disabled. Stand up and walk!"
I laughed as he imitated his
fathers voice. He was so proud as
he told this story. Indeed his
father is a great man.
Kwanele: As much as my father
was able to help me deal with
this situation and make me learn
how to do things myself. The
emotional part of it, he couldnt
help me with that. Even I can't
help myself. What I feel deep
inside everyday, its not something
I wish on any one.
All this while he was setting up
the papers and paints we were
going to use. I watched him
attentively, the paint containers
were writtern inside, you can feel
the letters, that's how he knew
what colour he was touching and
where to put it. It is an amazing
thing to watch.
Kwanele: Take off your clothes
Me: What?
Kwanele: Just do as I say Lydia
Me: How do you know that name?
Kwanele: I did some research on
you
Me: You weren't supposed to do
that.
Kwanele: I had to know who I'm
surrounding myself with.
Me: I understand. Lydia is my
first name which I hate. So when
I went to do my ID, I took
Nosipho as my first name and
didn't even include it in my ID.
He nodded and he stood there
Kwanele: Take off your clothes,
you need to wear this overall.
He took off his clothes and wore
the blue overall. I quickly took off
my clothes and wore the blue
overall too.
Kwanele: I don't get why you get
uncomfortable, it's not like I can
see your naked body. Though I
wish I could
I giggled and this overall didn't
have buttons or a zip at the top.
My bra was exposed and my little
cleavage.
Me: Why is it opened at the top?
Kwanele: It does get hot in here
so you need a bit of fresh air
I sat down and he kneeled behind
me. He gave me a paint brush and
I put the paint containers next
to me.
Kwanele: Close your eyes
Me: How am I supposed to paint
with my eyes closed?
Kwanele: The same way that I
do.
I closed my eyes and he held my
hand. He's hand was moving up
and down in the same pattern as
mine. He's face was getting too
close to my neck. These feelings
that were all over me were just
too much to handle.
Kwanele: You need to count, three
finger spaces, then go down.
He whispered in my ears, his lips
were touching my ear and I was
breathing heavily
Kwanele: You need to relax, give
me your other hand.
It was hard finding his hand
with my eyes closed. There are
times were I wanted to open my
eyes and see what I'm doing but
I kept them closed. I guess I
was also eager to be in his shoes
for just a little moment. He put
my hand in paint and moved it to
the paint board.
Kwanele: Move your hand, up and
down.
I did as he said.
Kwanele: Slowly, don't rush it.
He was too close to my neck again,
I was breathing heavily and my
pits were sweating. I felt his lips
on my neck, he kissed it slowly.
Me: What are you doing?
Kwanele: Making you relax.
He said that and continued kissing
my neck. I was getting wet and
he was kissing me ever so
passionately, I let out a moan.
Argh! What is this man doing to
me? Is this all part of painting.
Is this the heat he was talking
about cause damn, it is hot in
here. He's hands traveled up my
arms, he touched my shoulders,
mind you, he's hands were filled
with paint.
Me: May I open my eyes?
Kwanele: No, don't.
This is frustrating, I want to
see him. I want to touch him too.
Kwanele: Paint Nosipho
I continued painting with him
just planting soft kisses all over
my neck. I felt his boner, it was
touching my back and I giggled a
bit.
Kwanele: You're laughing at my
situation
Me: You did it to yourself
I felt a cold substance flowing
from my neck down to my boobs.
Okay, thats it, I'm opening my
eyes.
Me: Kwanele!!
He poured paint on me.
Kwanele: Why did you open your
eyes?
Me: You poured paint on me man
Kwanele: It's called body art, close
your eyes again.
Me: No
He stood up and sat infront of
me.
Kwanele: Close your eyes
I closed my eyes and felt his
hands on my boobs. He smeered
the paint all over them, slowly
touching them and he unclipped
my bra
Me: Kwanele....
Kwanele: Relax Nosipho
I breathed out loud and that
seemed to just trigger him more.
He squeezed my boobs and rubbed
them together. He came close and
my lips were shivering. I was so
wet, I'm sure my underwear is a
mess right now. I peeped, just to
see where the paint was and I
dipped my hands onto it and closed
my eyes. I put my hands on his
chest and remembered he had a
vest on. I slowly took it off, I
was doing it hesitantly because I
thought he would stop me but he
didn't. I dipped my hands onto
the paint again and smeered it on
his body. I wanted to open my
eyes but I was enjoying what we
were doing with my eyes closed.
My hands traveled on his chest,
he seems to have fine skin and
chest hair. My hands traveled
onto his torso and he laughed
Kwanele: Don't start what you
can't finish.
He cupped my face and kissed me.
He kissed me like it was the first
and last time. Like he's life
depended on this kiss. He kissed
me like he was pouring his soul
into mine. Or was I reading too
much into it? Was I the one
who's life depended on this kiss?
Hoping that this isn't the first
and last time he is kissing me?
Was it me who was pouring my
soul into his? Was it me who was
putting my feelings out there and
taking a little leap of faith. Yes,
it is I who was hoping that this
isn't just a kiss to him. It was I
who was hoping that maybe, just
maybe this man feels a little
something for me because I'm
feeling a whole lot of something
for him. He pulled away from this
heated kiss and held my hand.
Kwanele: You can open your eyes
now.
I did as he said and damn were
we a mess.
Me: And we now covered in paint
Kwanele: I did say it gets hot in
here.
I was suddenly just so nervous
around him and he seemed so
chilled like nothing just happened.
Why is this so normal to him?
Kwanele: Let's get out of here
before they wake up.
We didn't even clean up and we
went out. Well our plan of them
not seeing us didn't work at all.
Menzi: Were you painting paper or
painting each other?
Me: Uhm... the.. we.. the.. the
paint fell.
Simi: Since when do you stutter?
Ntombi: And the paint fell and
smeered itself onto your bodies?
Kwanele: We were painting each
other, happy now?
Funeka: Ecstatic.
Me: I'm going to shower
I left them there and went to
shower. Alot was on my mind.
Just thinking about what
happened made my entire body
shiver. That mans touch is
electrifying, he makes me feel so
many different feelings all at the
same time. Each time I close my
eyes, I see him. I think about
him doing the wildest things to
me and I think about him making
passionate love to me. Him
touching me, kissing me, humping
on me non stop. I think about him
making my nana burn because of
the never ending love making
sessions. Him going on me slowly,
fast, slowly and my knees
shivering. Him making me cum,
making me squirt and scream out
his name.
I moan.
I groan.
I scream.
Breath in.
Breath out.
I just had a massive orgasm due
to me masturbating, just thinking
about him makes me do the
unthinkable. I'm in need of him.
All of him.
I let the water run all over my
body and cleaned myself up. Once
satisfied with my shower. I
stepped out and lotioned my body.
What should I wear?
I wore khaki shorts with a nude
tank top. Made my way
downstairs and he was there too
Kwanele: That was a long shower
Me: I needed to scrub the paint
off. It took a while
Simi: You look beautiful, you're
glowing.
Me: Thank you
Vusi: The sun is out and the
weather is great, we should have
a braai later
Khetho: I have to go fetch my
things and look for an apartment.
Menzi: You can stay at my
apartment but I don't want you
to stay alone.
Ntombi: She would move in with
us but we just have two
bedrooms
Menzi: Why don't you move in
together in my apartment. It
has 4 bedrooms
Me: That's an idea, you're keen
Ntombi and Khetho?
Khetho: Yes, I don't want to stay
alone.
Vusi: That's settled then, we'll
help you pack.
Ntombi: Let's start at Khetho's
place.
Kwanele was just sitting there,
he was facing my way and I could
say he is staring at me. I can't
stop thinking about this morning
and I keep on looking at him.
Simi: Let's get going shall we?
Kwanele: I'll stay behind. I need
some rest
Menzi: Okay bro, you'll call when
you need me.
How will he call? I didn't want to
ask but I was curious. Menzi
gave him some black thing, it
looked like a Wi-Fi router yet it
wasn't. I guess that's what he'll
use to call him. I made a mental
note to ask what that was for.
Menzi: Nosi, you'll drive this van.
I'll follow with his one.
Me: Okay
I drove off with Khetho as she
directed me to her house. We were
nervous about this trip to her
house. The last time she was
here was when that situation
happened.
Me: We're here.
Khetho: Let's go in
She seemed so nervous, her face
was red. I guess she was
replaying the scene in her head.
Me: I'll pack your clothes.
She nodded while she packed her
child's clothes and toys.
Menzi: Don't cry
I listened as they spoke in the
other room. Menzi was comforting
her as she cried.
Khetho: I want to burn her
clothes, I don't want to keep
them
Menzi: Are you sure?
Khetho: Yes.
Simi took them and we went
outside and she burned them
along with Khethelo's clothes. She
threw her ring in the fire as well.
Khetho: Burn my clothes too
Funeka: What?
Khetho: I just want to start
over. Burn them too
We burnt them and she was okay,
I don't know how I felt. I guess
we deal with things differently,
to her this was her first step of
moving on.
Khetho: Let's go.
We left and headed to my place.
Ntombi and I have alot of stuff
Ntombi: What are we going to do
with the furniture?
Menzi: Sell it. The apartment is
fully furnished so you won't need
anything
Me: Okay
We packed everything in the van
and left. Vusi and Menzi dropped
it off at the new apartment
while we went back to Kwanele's
so we can take Simi's car and go
shopping. Miss Khetho does need
new clothes. Kwanele was sitting
right where we left him
Me: You're okay?
Kwanele: Yes, I was just thinking.
You guys are back already?
Me: We came to change cars.
We're going shopping
Kwanele: Have fun, take my card.
Me: No thank you, I still have
that money...
He cut me off and told me he
wasn't asking me, he was telling
me. I took his card and left.
Menzi and Vusi came back as we
were leaving. Atleast he won't be
alone now.
Simi: Okay ladies!! Let's go
shopping, we're entering every
store and goinv crazy!
Funeka: Yes!!
I laughed at these crazy girls
and drove off to Gateway. We
were about to have a massive
shopping spree and I couldn't be
happier. Khetho was laughing and
having fun. It was good to see
her smile and happy, she's been
through alot and all she deserves
is happiness. As for me, I was
still puzzled and stuck on what
happened this morning. I have to
say, painting is now something I
like doing and I hope we'll have
more painting sessions. I laughed
to myself and focused on the
shopping. I need to forget about
Kwanele, even if its just for a
minute... or a second.
Insert 11
We moved into our apartment and
we had a mini housewarming
party. The best part of moving in
here was that we wouldn't pay
any rent. Life has been amazing,
we are happy and there's nothing
to complain about. I'm even
gaining weight and I'm not
bothered. I won't even go to the
gym, I love the way I look.
Ntombi went to work and I made
breakfast with Khetho
Me: So what are you doing today?
Khetho: I will go looking for a job,
Menzi will come with me. He
thinks I'm rushing things by
looking for a job.
Me: Did you ask him why he
thinks so?
Khetho: He says I need to rest. I
can't stay in the house all day
long and look at these white
walls.
The walls are white, yep all
Menzi's doings. We did ask him
why he's houses are white and he
said its refreshing and it gives a
house that sense of cleanliness
and freshness.
Khetho: I want to work, have
something to keep me distracted.
I have a degree in teaching, so
I'll be dropping my CV at some
schools and see if I get lucky.
What will you do today?
Me: Going to work
Khetho: Mmmh you'll be with Mr
Kwanele
Me: Argh, I don't know how am I
going to face him. I mean we
were all drunk last night.
Khetho: But that kiss you guys
shared wasn't a "we drunk and
it's a mistake kiss"
Me: I know but Kwanele is
confusing me. One minute, he is
interested in me, the next he is
not. It's all just confusing.
Kwanele and I shared a few more
kisses at last night's party. It
was as magical as it always is and
I felt whatever I'm feeling more
and more.
Khetho: You guys are just so cute
Me: Yeah whatever.
We ate and got ready for the day.
It was almost 10am and I'm still
here. Kwanele will kill me. I drove
quickly to his house, it's not that
far from here. I think Menzi did
that on purpose. I got there and
he was walking around the house.
I greeted Bonnie and she
continues cleaning
Me: I'm sorry I'm late.
Kwanele: It's okay. I'm hungry
Me: I'll make something quick for
you so you won't have to wait
long.
Kwanele: Thank you
I made his breakfast and fed him
once I was done.
Kwanele: Thank you.
He stood up and went to take a
shower. I don't know what's up
with him. He seems to be in his
foul mood today. I took my laptop
and connected to the Wi-Fi and
downloaded some movies and
songs. I played Summer
Walker_Girls need love too
"Girls can never say they want it.
Girls can never say how.
Girls can never say they need it
Girls can never say now oh now.
Give to me like you need it baby
Wanna hear me screaming, heavy
breathing
I don't need a reason baby
I can give it to you right babe
oh"
Kwanele: Can you?
Shit!! Where will I hide myself?
He just heard me singing? Thank
God he can't see the moves I
was pulling up.
Me:(clears throat) Can I what?
Kwanele: Can you give it to me
right, baby?
I laughed at him as he came
closer to me.
Me: Stop it.
Kwanele: But I haven't done
anything, yet.
I swallowed
My hands were sweating
Kwanele: Sit down Nosipho, we
need to talk.
Me: Let me get a snack
I was running away for a little
time. I wonder what does he
want to talk about. I'm suddenly
feeling so nervous. What snack
was I taking again? I took some
chocolate since he likes it and
strawberries... no this seems too
much of a romantic snack. So I
opted for chocolate and Doritos,
that's okay right. I went back to
the lounge and sat with Kwanele
Kwanele: You took your own time
Me: Patience is a virtue Mr Zondi
Kwanele: Only if you have
chocolate
I laughed and gave it to him. We
munched on our snacks in silence.
Kwanele: I have to go tonight
Me: Where are you going?
Kwanele: Business trip, Menzi and
I will be gone for two weeks.
Me: Oh.
We were silent for a while. I
guess I didn't know how to react.
Kwanele: Say something
Me: I don't know what to say
Kwanele: You can start by saying
you miss me.
Me: And If I don't?
Kwanele: I know you will
We laughed and we were actually
cuddling.
Kwanele: Kiss me
Me: What?
Kwanele: You heard me
I kissed him and the kiss got
intense. I feel like there's so
much sexual tension between us. I
pulled away and he grabbed me.
Kwanele: Where do you think
you're going?
He grabbed my ass and started
kissing me again.
"Argh! Get a room you guys!"
We pulled away and it was Vusi
and Funeka.
Vusi: We came to fetch you so we
can go out but it seems as if
you're busy
Funeka: Let's leave them so they
can finish up. Use a condom big
brother
Kwanele: I'll cut of your allowance
Funeka: I love you big brother
They laughed and quickly went
out. Why did they come here
again?
Kwanele: Talk about bad timing.
I just giggled and layed my head
on his chest. Honestly, I'm falling
deeper inlove with Kwanele.
Kwanele: I think I'm inlove with
you Nosipho.
Me: What?
I was tongue tied, I didn't know
what to say.
Me: What about the woman you
said you're inlove with?
Kwanele: I was talking about you
Nosipho. I'm inlove with you and
it's so scary. Nosipho I've never
been inlove before. I don't even
know wtf love is besides loving my
mom and siblings and I know it's
different from being inlove with
someone you're romantically inlove
with. And I'm scared that I will
not love you the way you want to
be loved or the way you deserved
to be loved.
Me: Kwanele
Kwanele: Let me finish.
Me: Okay sorry for disturbing you
Kwanele: I've never been in a
serious relationship before. Like I
said, I've never even been inlove
before. It isn't my thing and it
will never be. It's not that I'm
afraid of commitment but I don't
want to hold someone back. Being
with me will be a burden. I know
what I feel for you isn't just a
temporary feeling, you're that
type of person who I'd be with
for a life time but our relationship
will hurt us more than it will
make us happy
Me: You don't know that Kwanele,
you don't know it unless we give it
a try
Kwanele: I long to see the face
I'm falling so deeply inlove with.
When I touch you and caress your
soft skin I wish to see this
beautiful melanin skin. I long to
see you, touch you and look at
that beautiful body. God knows
how much I wish to see you
naked. I won't even be able to
look into your eyes and do all those
romantic things guys do. I can't
watch a movie with you, I can't
take you places, drive you around
with just the both of us. Nosipho
what you've seen about my
condition is just the least of it. I
don't want to see me on my weak
days, I don't want you to have a
burden of taking care of this man.
I don't want you to fall deeply
inlove with me when I know for
sure that I will hurt you. I know
I will hurt, might not be
intentionally but I'm definitely
sure I cannot stick to one woman,
I will cheat on you. And you don't
deserve all that okay? This is me
protecting you from me, because
I know myself way beyond what
you think you know about me.
Me: Kwanele, stop. Stop it
Kwanele: You have to hear this
Nosipho. I don't want to be the
reason why you turn into a bitter
person because of the hurt that
I'll put you through. Pain changes
people and I don't want you to go
through all that because of me.
I've never been in a relationship
and I sure damn don't want one
now. Nosipho, it's even scary that
I was able to fall inlove with you
Me: That means you'll be able to
love me and be in a relationship
with me.
Kwanele: I don't want a
relationship
Me: It doesn't have to be one, we
can have whatever you and these
other girls have
Kwanele: I can't do that to you.
You can't do that to yourself.
That is not you and I will not live
with myself knowing that I
changed you because of my
selfishness. Now I'm pleading
with you, forget everything that
has happened between us. Try
getting rid of whatever feelings
you have for me because they will
do nothing but hurt you. They will
be a curse more than a blessing.
Nosipho, I like you, alot! But I
can't do this
Me: Stop being a coward and face
this! Why did you make me fall
inlove with you yet you knew you'd
hurt me before we even pursue
this. You're not giving us a chance
Kwanele
Kwanele: It wasn't my intention
to make you fall inlove with me
just as it wasn't my intention to
fall inlove with you. Rather I
hurt you now, when these feelings
aren't so deep yet than later
when you're too emotionally
invested in us. I don't want to be
the reason you go to bed crying all
night. Heck, I don't want you to
be waiting up on me all night
when I'll be busy fucking with
another woman. I don't trust
myself with your heart, I don't
trust myself with your happiness
and love.
I just kept quiet and closed my
eyes. It hurts, it hurts too much.
I don't want to talk anymore. I
don't want to tell him he is wrong,
I don't want it to seem as if I'm
so desperate to be with him. I
like him but if he doesnt want
this then I won't force him. You
can't change a man who doesn't
want to change and you can't
force yourself into someone's life.
Kwanele: Please tell me you
understand
Me: I don't understand Kwanele.
But I'll let you be, if this is the
path you want to take then so be
it. I'll accept things as they are.
Kwanele: I'm sorry
Me: Don't apologize.
Kwanele: While I'm gone, please
don't hold onto me. Let these
feelings we have disappear and be
happy.
Me: I will, let me go pack for you.
Kwanele: Bonnie has done that.
We can just sit here and talk
Me: I have nothing to talk about
with you Kwanele
Kwanele: Please don't hate me or
cut me off of your life.
Me: What do you want Kwanele?
Do you want me to love you or
hate you?
Kwanele: I just want us to be
friends
Me: Then we will be friends. Let
me go cook lunch.
I cooked lunch for him and the
staff. Bonnie went to dish up for
the others and I went with his
food upstairs. He was on a call
flirting with a Camilla whom he
will he meeting with. Apparently
he will be going to Brazil for the
next two weeks. I was hurt, I
won't lie. But it is what it is.
Me: Your food is ready sir
He ended the call, it was that
small thing that looked like a
router.
Me: What does this thing do?
Kwanele: I'm able to call and
receive calls. See this cord in my
ear, when I get a call it tells me
who is calling and I press the
answer or reject button here.
When I want to call, I talk on
the speaker and say whom I
want to call them the call goes
through.
Me: Wow, that's impressive
Kwanele: Technology has made life
easier for many of us.
Then the awkward silence. I fed
him and he was rather chewing
very slowly, I wanted to be out of
here already but he was just
taking his own time. When we
were finally finished, I took the
dishes and left. I heard him call
out my name but I just wanted
to be out of here. Menzi came in
and he was in a good mood.
Menzi: You look like a cat just died
Me: How does one look when a cat
died?
Menzi: Just look in the mirror
you'll see
Me: Stupid
Menzi: And then? Trouble in
paradise?
Me: There's never been any
paradise to begin with Peterson
Menzi: I'll kill you Lydia
Me: If I don't kill you first. I'm
leaving, you'll cook something for
your brother or you'll get
something at the airport. Have a
safe trip
Menzi: Thank you
I drove home and threw myself
on the couch when I got there.
Ntombi: Bad day?
Me: Worst day of my life
Simi: Scoot up, I have vodka to
make you feel better.
I didn't even see that she was
here. Khetho was in the kitchen
making sandwiches. She came to
sit next to us, we were squashed
on one couch, I don't know why!
Khetho and I are quiet big on the
lower body area's unlike these
other skinny girls who seem
comfortable with our sitting
arrangement. There are other
couches here, I don't get why
we're so squashed. I moved and
they pulled me back.
Ntombi: Sit your ass down and
talk
Me: Well, Mr Zondi told me he is
inlove with me.
Pause.
They screamed so loud I
regretted not finishing up my
sentence
Me: But he doesn't want to be
with me.
Simi: I'm lost
I told them everything that
went down today and what he
said. Mind you, I kinda quoted
word for word. I guess his words
really did cut deep.
Ntombi: Such an idiot but
someway somehow, I understand
him to
Simi: Mina I don't understand at
all. He's just being stupid and a
coward. I mean, he's not even
giving it a chance
Khetho: He did say he didn't want
to hurt you. He laid it all on the
table, he will cheat on you, he
knows he will. He's never been
committed and he won't start
now. So I think its better you
hurt now than us sitting here
later crying about how you found
some sluts underwear in his
pocket or some girls keep calling
him late at night. Rather safe
than sorry sweetie
Ntombi: You're inlove with no
ordinary man. As much as he says
he is just a normal guy but that
ain't true. He is extraordinary, he
deals with alot of issues everyday,
not physical issues that we can
see and try helping him out with
but emotional and mental issues
that we cannot deal with. For
someone in his position, he is
frustrated. He is inlove with
someone he will never ever get
the chance to see. When you're
inlove with someone you like
looking at them and just
wondering what you did to
deserve that certain someone. Yet
he can't do that, there are alot
of experiences he wants to share
with you but he cannot. He hears
you laugh but he cannot see that
huge smile on your face and the
spark in your eyes. Sight plays a
huge role in our lives, as much as
his imagination can work for him
but it cannot give him what he's
visual eyesight would've. His
issues are deeper than what we
can see or we can think of. It is a
matter of the mind and soul. Our
bodies, thoughts and actions are
controlled by what our brain has
adapted to. What our mind has
got used to and when he says he
will cheat, he will do it because
that is what he has told himself.
When he says he's going to hurt
you more than making you happy,
that he is a burden to you, that
is all in his mind and he has
accepted it and closed it up. That
is his perspective of this whole
idea of having a relationship with
you. Fear too, fear is holding him
back. He needs to deal with his
mind and mentality before he
deals with his emotions.
Simi: Woah Miss Therapist. Thank
you very much for that session,
you have left our minds on a very
confused state.
Khetho: True that.
We laughed at Ntombi, she was
being all therapeutic about this
but she did make sense.
Me: I understand you
Ntombi: Let him deal with himself
first before he allows anyone to
be in his life in that kind of way,
for the very first time. Let him
fix himself because you will not fix
him. You cannot fix him, only he
can. What you can do is just hold
his hand and he will do the rest.
Trust me, once he is ready he will
know and he will love you in a way
that will even shock him because
he doesn't know that he is
capable of loving someone.
Khetho: Get your degree already.
You should be getting paid already
man, you're too good. Too good
She laughed at us and poured
more wine. The talk with the
girls was very good. It was what
I needed but I can't get over our
conversation with Kwanele.
Me: How was sleeping with
Kwanele? I mean this thing you
guys had, how did it work?
Simi: Don't, don't even think of
having what we had. Difference
between me and you sweetie is
that, you're inlove and I wasn't.
I knew we were just having fun
and you're attached, you will hurt
yourself and fall deeper inlove
while you're not the only one who
he sleeps with. Sweetie, it is not
your world, it is ours.
Me: I can sleep with someone just
for fun, it's just sex.
Simi: Yes you can but not with
him. Between the two of you, it
will never be just sex. Plus, my
experiences with Kwanele were
mine. You have yours and yours
will be different to mine.
Me: I get you, it was stupid of
me to ask.
Simi: Pretend like Kwanele and I
have never happened.
Me: Deal
Simi: Good girl
Khetho: You were dating Kwanele?
Simi: No hunny. We were just
smashing. That's old news now,
focus on the future. The future
being, I met this guy today!!!!!
Ntombi: Mmmmh!!! Tell us more
Simi: He was so ugly you guys it's
not even funny, it hurts. He's
even scary
Me: Simi!!
Simi: I took a picture of him, look.
He even had the audacity to ask
for my number, how could he?
We laughed at how she was being
so dramatic and screamed out
laughing at this guy he was
showing us. But she's being
dramatic, he wasn't that bad.
Okay, he was a bit bad but not as
bad as she made it seem. We
spent the rest of the day eating
and drinking alcohol while talking
about nonsense. I'm thankful for
these girls and we did miss
Funeka so much, we made a video
call and she was out of the
country. We went to bed so late
and I wasn't bothered because I
wasn't going to work. I saw
missed calls from Kwanele, argh,
this phone thingy of his will be a
nuisance if he'll keep calling me.
Who am I kidding? I'm happy
he's calling and maybe he's
frustrated about me not
answering. Argh! Why does love
have to be so complicated? I just
have to move on and get over
him. Yes, that's just what I'll do.
Wish me luck!

Insert 12
Kwanele's POV
Ever felt something so strong and
wondered how on earth did you
end up feeling it and why are you
feeling this certain way. It is
feelings that one cannot explain
but only show. Now how do you
show someone you love them yet
you don't even know how to love.
You have no slightest clue about
what relationships are like and
you don't want to even try it out.
Anways, My name is Kwanele
Mbuso Zondi, 35years of age and
I am a blind man. I've been blind
since the age of 5 and I must
say, the past 30years have been
a struggle. We've been on a
28hour flight and finally we have
landed.
Menzi: I just want to sleep
Me: I doubt that will happen, you
know how father is. He might
have work for us to do.
Menzi: Why the hell would he
want a meeting with us in Brazil?
He could've just went to our place
Me: We'll find out when we get
there.
We were driven to wherever it is
that my father was, I was
nervous about this meeting.
Whatever my father is up to
doesn't excite me, he is always in
dangerous shady businesses. I
wonder what it is this time. We
got to the house and Menzi
walked infront of me so I could
follow his scent. It is what I do
to be able to walk by myself in a
place I'm not familiar with. It
usually takes a few hours before
I get to be familiar with the
place.
Menzi: Sit down, I'll look for this
man somewhere in this house.
I sat down and heard footsteps,
they did feel familiar. There's only
one girl in this world who walks
like a man, stomping her feet so
loudly.
Me: Thando
Thando: Let me guess, my feet
messed up my entrance
Me: Yes they did
Thando: How are you big brother?
She kissed my entire face, she
knows I hate that but I've
missed my little sister.
Thando: You look stressed
Me: We'll talk later.
We stood up because of my
fathers footsteps. He would kill
you if he came by and you sat
down, you have to stand up and
greet him. He demands respect
and he has that much authority
over us. He is a well respected
man, he always says he can't be
respected by nations and not be
respected in his own household.
Us: Gagashe omkhulu
Father: You may sit
We thanked him and sat down.
Funeka: I'm sorry I'm late
Funeka is here too? I guess we're
all here because I did hear
Kwenzo's giggle somewhere
around this house.
Father: Sit down kids, I need to
talk to you.
You never know what this man is
going to say, he is very
unpredictable.
Father: As you know, I'm getting
old. Very old and I need to retire
soon, I might even die soon. I
have to leave my businesses in
your hands, I have to choose a
leader amongst you all and I need
to see if I'm leaving everything in
the right hands. Are you
listening?
Us: Yes Gagashe
Father: Menzi, Kwanele, how old
are you this year?
Us: 35 baba
Father: And why are you not
married?
I felt it, Menzi's eyes were on me
and he wanted me to answer. He
always does this when dad has us
cornered. Kwenzo giggles and
shuts him up. I will not answer
this question at all.
Father: You are mutes now? You
cannot talk
Menzi: We can baba
Father: Now answer
Menzi: Phendula Kwanele(Answer
Kwanele)
Me: Who's older between the two
of us? Now you answer
He clicks his tongue and laughs.
He always brags about being
older. Now he should show it.
Menzi: Baba, we will get married
when we are ready.
Wrong answer, this man will
throw questions he cannot
answer.
Father: You have houses,
businesses, cars, money and
penises that work very well.
There are millions of sperms in
those balls that need to make
children. I know I didn't give
birth to infertile men. I want
grandchildren, I want to leave
this world knowing I left a large
legacy behind. Am I making
myself clear?
Us: Yes father
Father: Now Kwanele, what
nonsense is this that I'm hearing
about you. You're changing woman
like you're changing underwear?
Is that what I taught you? Is
that the type of man I raised
you to be?
Me: No
Father: No who? You're talking to
a dog?
Me: My apologies Gagashe. You did
not raise me to be that type of
man.
Father: I will not tolerate
disrespect, I will not have my
image in the mud because of you
boys. Kwenzokuhle, you are rich
now? You've finished school and
you are earning your own money?
Kwenzo: No Gagashe
Father: Now, you're busy
throwing parties and spoiling girls
with my money?
Kwenzo: I'm sorry Gagashe
Father: You are kids to me, I can
still trash you at any time of the
day. You boys are getting out of
hand.
He scolded us for hours and hours.
My father can go on all day long.
We're always the bad guys, he
never shouts at his daughters.
They are so spoilt you'd swear
they are his only children and he
doesn't want them to get
married nor even have boyfriends
for that matter. He is very
protective of them.
Father: Before you go to bed, I
have something to say and listen
clearly. I am giving you a year.
Just one year and that's it. I'm
giving you a year to find love and
get married on your own. If you
fail to do that, I will personally
arrange marriage for the both of
you, do you understand?
Menzi: But dad, isn't that too
much? I mean you're just giving
us a year
Father: I have nothing more to
say. You are dismissed
Us: Yebo Gagashe
Kwenzo: Let's chill and have some
drinks, you're up for it
Me: After I shower.
Funeka helped me up to my room
and I took a shower. Honestly
everything was just flooding up in
my mind, worst part of it. I
couldn't get Nosi out of my mind.
Maybe I should check up on her?
I came out of the bathroom and
I knew there was some people in
my room. I always get such
signals by the scent of someone or
their aura.
Me: I thought I was alone in
here
Kwenzo: You were taking your own
time.
Me: Call Nosi for me
Kwenzo: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
I got dressed and he gave me
the phone and stepped out.
Nosi: Mmh hello..
Kwanele: You're still asleep, by my
calculations its 8am there.
Nosi: And you should know that
I'm still asleep at this time. Had
a safe flight?
Me: Yes I did thank you. Been in a
meeting with my father for a
while.
Nosi: You sound stressed
Kwanele: Its nothing your sweet
voice can't fix.
Nosi: Stop it Kwanele
Me: I'm just being honest
Nosi: What do you want?
Kwanele: Nothing, sorry for
bothering you.
Nosi: Can I sleep now?
Kwanele: You can sleep but don't
hang up. Just want to hear you
breath
Nosi: Kwanele, you said we should
work on getting over these
feelings we have. And thats what
I'm doing. Now don't call me
unless its work related.
She hung up and I sighed. I
made my own bed now I have to
lay on it. I went downstairs to my
brothers.
Me: I need a strong drink
Kwenzo: The call didnt go so well
huh?
Me: You can say so.
Menzi: I'm just pissed off, but its
no use. We all know that Gagashe
is serious and there's no going
back with his word.
Kwanele: And mom knows about
this?
Kwenzo: Maybe she doesn't.
Menzi: She does, you do know
what Gagashe has spoken, no one
challenges him.
Kwenzo: You need to get
girlfriends and get married or else
you'll be getting married to
strangers
Me: I told Nosi that I'm inlove
with her
Menzi: Atleast you have a bit of
progress
Me: I messed things up. I told
her I don't want us to pursue any
relationship. That she must get
over whatever she feels for me.
Kwenzo: So she's inlove with you
too?
Menzi: Head over hills inlove with
you. I wish you could see the way
she looks at you. Its genuine
feelings dude, genuine.
Me: That's the thing, I can't see
it. I can't see her. I long to see
her each and everytime. I'm
wishing for something that will
not happen, I don't want to be in
a relationship with her when I'll
just be a burden, she has to feed
me! You know how weak I feel
every time she does that?
Menzi: Some things you cannot
change but just have to accept.
You'll never be able to see her
Kwanele, accept that. She will
feed you and any of us will.
Me: It's different with her
Menzi: You are not a burden to
her, if you were she would've left
the moment she knew you were
blind. She is the one for you, that
I know. You should just fix things
with her and marry her
Kwanele: I don't want to get
married. I don't want that sort
of commitment. You two know how
my life is like, you know that I
have weak days and how sick I
get. Now she'll be stuck with me,
having to bathe me, take me to
the loo, watch over me 24/7.
That will be too much, I don't
want her to be set back because
of me. I have dreams for Nosi,
dreams bigger than she has for
herself and she won't do that. I
know she will choose taking care
of me instead of working on
herself and her career. I don't
want that for her, I don't want
her stuck with a blind man. What
happens when she gets tired of
me, starts cheating on me and I
can't even see her? What happens
then?
Kwenzo: Do you honestly think she
would do that? She would murder
you if she heard you say that.
Me: She would leave me when she
finds out who I really am
Menzi: Now that, she should
never ever know.
Me: I'll be going into this
relationship with nothing but lies
and secrets. I won't be
committed at all, yet she'll be so
committed. I want to protect her
from myself. That is hard to do
when I'm falling so deeply inlove
with her.
Menzi: That's deep man, deep.
Kwenzo: I have a question. And
you don't have to answer me now,
your actions in the next coming
months will answer me
Me: Ask
Kwenzo: Would you rather go
through all this with the woman
you love or some stranger you
don't even know and don't even
trust?
Me: Thats easy, I'll take the
stranger. Atleast I won't be
feeling guilty about not being
committed and lying to her. She'll
have no feelings for me and she'll
know its an arranged marriage
nothing more to it.
Menzi: I didn't know you could be
this stupid. You're just feeding
yourself lies and you know it.
Me: Let's just say we have
different views to this. What
about you, Mr lover boy?
Menzi: I'll get married to the
stranger
Me: And you saying I'm stupid?
Menzi: Reason being, I'm not
inlove with anyone. Me and you,
that's totally different stories.
Kwenzo: You are 35 and you're
idiots. Cowards for that matter,
you're afraid of giving love a
chance? I'm just 20, I don't know
much about love and relationships
but what I do know is that true
love is rare and when you find it.
Hold onto it. We adults here, we
know know the both of you are
damn inlove but you just afraid to
show it. There's nothing wrong
with falling inlove and getting
hurt in the end. We're all bound to
have heartbreaks, maybe one or
two but what I'm saying is,
There's nothing wrong in taking
chances.
Menzi: Now what happens when
you're inlove with two women and
you can't seem to choose?
Me: You're in shit
Kwenzo: Deep shit but you'll be
making it worse by involving this
stranger as the third woman.
Someone cleared their throat and
it was Thando.
Thando: I've been listening to
this entire conversation and I
must say, Kwanele and Menzi,
you're in shit and you guys are
stupid. Kwenzo, thank you for
shinning some light into these
idiots heads. Menzi, you're inlove
with two women? So you're into
polygamy now?
Menzi: It's just a passing phase.
Me: Are you sure?
Menzi: Yes. I'm not inlove, I'm
just attracted to them
Thando: The two of you have to
get your acts together and you
don't have much time. Next year
March, the both of you should be
married and I know dad will move
onto us. I'm turning 27 soon, he
will want me to get married, he's
spoken about it since I was 21.
Difference between the three of
us is that I'll be forced to marry
a man, I don't even like men.
Me: Woah woah woah, what do
you mean you don't even like men?
Thando: What I mean is that
I'm into woman. And that should
never ever be known by our
parents
Menzi: Dad will disown you, thats
if he doesnt kill you
Thando: I know. I have a plan
but enough about me. You are in
the hot seat for now
Me: And wena Kwenzo, why aren't
you shocked about this?
Kwenzo: I knew. I know
everything that goes on in your
lives. I have this gift of being
easy to talk to and being able to
keep secrets.
Me: Wow.
Today has just been too much for
just one day. I have to get
married in just a year, my sister is
lesbian and my younger brother is
smarter than Menzi and I
combined. That's enough for just
one day, oh and Nosi, she wants
nothing to do with me.
Thando: Go rest, we have work in
the morning. We didn't come for a
vacation here and you know it. We
all have issues but business
should go on.
#Nosi
After Kwanele's call, I couldnt
sleep anymore. I couldn't help but
feel like he is stressed about
something. Anyways, I shouldn't
be stressed about him. I went to
the kitchen and Khetho was
there already. She wakes up very
early, I can't keep up with her.
Khetho: Have you heard from the
gents? I woke up to some missed
calls from Menzi.
Me: Kwanele called, they had a
safe flight.
Khetho: Good then, I'll call him
later. Let me go shower.
I nodded and made a cereal for
myself. Simi and Ntombi came to
the kitchen
Simi: Morning
Me: Morning ladies
Ntombi: Argh, I have so many
missed calls from Menzi. Have you
heard from him?
Me: Uhm, Kwanele called. They
had a safe flight.
Ntombi: Good then, pass me the
cereal please. I have to get to
class in a few minutes
Me: You should hurry
Simi: We'll wait for you then we'll
go to my house, I need to be in
the Jacuzzi today.
Ntombi: I won't be long. Just two
hours and I'll be all yours after
that. Bye guys!! Say hi to Khetho
for me
She took her things and left.
While we were chatting up a
storm Khetho walked in smiling
from ear to ear.
Me: And then?
Khetho: What?
Simi: You're smiling so much, your
teeth will fall.
Khetho: Oh, it's just a joke Menzi
said. Where's Ntombi? Menzi said
he tried calling her, he wanted to
check up on all of us.
Simi: Mmmh, she mentioned
missed calls from him. She just
left
Khetho: Oh cool then, guess I
missed her. She'll be back right?
Me: Right...
Simi: Okay! Let me shower and
we'll watch tv while we wait for
Ntombi
Khetho: Are we going somewhere?
Me: Simi's house.
She giggled and was staring at
her phone.
I cleared my throat and she
looked up
Khetho: You said something?
Me: I was asking what seems to
be making you smile so much
Khetho: Argh it's just Menzi's
lame jokes
Me: So you guys get along now, no
more fights?
Khetho: He has his days of being
a jerk.
Me: Mmmh, right.
I continued eating my cereal while
Miss Khetho was glued to her
phone. Maybe I need someone to
keep me glued to the phone too
Me: Hey Simi!! Why don't we go
clubbing later?
Simi: Now that's an idea!!!
She screamed from the bathroom
and missy hear didn't even hear
me. It will be good to have a
distraction, just have fun with
cool guys and maybe I'll find
someone to keep me glued to my
phone.

Insert 13
Indeed, a distraction was all that
I needed. Simi, Ntombi, Khetho
and I went clubbing a week back
and it was lit! And I met
someone! Yes I did, his name is
Thuso and he is 23, I know he's
younger but then we're vibing.
Nothing serious, he's just a
distraction. He wasn't exactly
that charming nor was he ugly.
He is just right and he keeps my
phone popping with notifications
from whatsapp and silly little sms
and calls. I woke up, in a good
mood and took a bath. Full body
shave and rocked a beautiful
yellow summer dress. Combed my
afro into a cute bun and went
downstairs
Khetho: You look beautiful
Me: Thank you
Khetho: Thuso is making you glow
huh?
Me: Maybe, maybe not.
Khetho: Accompany me to Menzi's
place please, I need their Wi-Fi so
I can look for a job online, It's too
hot to be walking around
Me: Sure, that house is such a
breeze without Kwanele's
presence suffocating me.
Khetho: You enjoy that
suffocation.
Me: I'm over that
Ketho: Right.
She laughed at me and we headed
over to Kwanele and Menzi's
house. I watched movies while
snacking on ice cream while she
was busy on her laptop. I was
texting with Thuso and he asked
me on a date tonight.
Me: Khetho!!! He just asked me to
go on a date with him tonight
Khetho: Mmmmh like proper
date? Say yes!
I laughed and texted him back
saying yes. I stood up and went
to the kitchen and washed the
bowl I was using
Me: I haven't been on a date for
such a long time Khethokuhle. I
wonder what I'll wear
Khetho: Maybe you should ask him
where he is taking you
Me: He's still a student, he might
be taking me to a small
restaurant nothing fancy
Khetho: But still, its a date
Me: I'll wear something simple
but not too simple.
Khetho: Simi will help you out.
You're going on a date
Me: I'm going on a date, I'm
going on a date
We kept on singing and laughing.
"Who is going on a date with
whom?"
Can the earth just open up a
whole and swallow me! Why are
they back? They were supposed
to come back in 4days. Kwanele
and Menzi were just standing
there waiting for an answer. I
don't know whether they are
angry or what. They're facial
expressions were confusing me but
I do know there's nothing good
about it.
Khetho: Uhmm Hi guys! You're
back early
Menzi: We asked a question
Khetho looked at me with
pleading eyes. Now I'm supposed
to speak.
Me: I'm going on a date....
I don't know whether I saw a
sign of relief in Menzi's face. What
was that for? He walked in and
went upstairs leaving Kwanele
still standing by the door.
Khetho: Excuse me
Where is she going now? Leaving
me with this man here. I don't
know whether he is upset or
what?
Kwanele: Who are you going to a
date with?
Me: Thuso
Kwanele: He doesn't have a
surname?
Me: Thuso Mazibuko
Kwanele: Mmmh, have fun.
Prepare lunch
I nodded and started cooking.
Khetho came back when Kwanele
went upstairs. She's such a bitch,
she left me alone.
Me: I hate you
Khetho: The room was heated,
Kwanele is scary.
Me: I was scared too. Help me
here
Khetho: You know I can't cook. I'll
chop these carrots.
We cooked while we were chatting
up a storm. These men haven't
stepped down here, I don't know
why I'm suddenly nervous.
Me: Maybe I shouldn't go
Khetho: Don't be crazy, you're
going to that date. Don't let
Kwanele hold you back. Yes you like
him but it doesn't mean he should
toy with your feelings. He's the
one who said you should get rid of
your feelings.
Me: You're right.
Khetho: Ofcause I'm right. He
keeps on sending mixed signals, he
should be clear on what he wants.
You won't wait around on a man
who doesn't know what he wants.
Khetho went to call them while I
dished up. Kwenzo came running in
Me: What's going on with you?
Kwenzo: Nothing, just that
Kwanele threatened me so I had
to be here now.
Me: Don't let him bully you
Kwenzo: You're here to protect
me.
Kwanele: From what?
He asked as he made his way to
sit next to me. He still amazes me
till this day, I don't think I'll
ever get used to how much he can
do by himself yet he is blind. I
stood in between his legs, we
were behind the kitchen counter
and the others were on the other
side facing us. I was busy feeding
him when I felt his hands on my
thighs. I cleared my throat and
that didn't stop him. He kept on
brushing them and I couldn't
stand properly. He locked his legs
together around mine. What is
this man doing? He touched my
butt and squeezed it. I jumped a
little in shock and chocked on my
own spit.
Menzi: Are you okay NoGift?
Me: Uhm... yes... yes I'm fine.
He hands traveled all the way to
my underwear and he moved it
aside and I was breathing
heavily. He kept on brushing my
clit, moving up and down playing
with it. I was getting so wet, my
knees were weak.
Kwanele: I'm full.
I cleaned him up and gave him
water. When I tried to turn he
held me back with his legs. I just
turned and held the kitchen
counter. He's fingers were playing
with my clit and he inserted one
finger. I let out a soft moan as
he thrusted slowly.
Menzi: We should have a party
this weekend, just us.
Kwanele: That will be awesome,
right Nosi?
Me: Uhmm, yeah.. Yes.
The yes came out louder than I
anticipated. He just inserted two
fingers and thrusted faster and
deeper, he did that on purpose.
Khetho: I'm up for it. Though
I'm still tired from all the
clubbing we've been doing
Menzi: Oh so you've been
clubbing?
Khetho: Uhm.. no...yeah we just
went out for a few drinks
Kwanele: A few drinks you say.
Had fun Nosipho?
I didn't respond and he went
deeper and faster, three finger
and I lost it. My knees were
shivering and I held onto the
counter.
Kwanele: I asked you a question
He was in so deep, he was
touching all the right places. I
felt myself building up. I could
hear them speaking yet I was
out of this world. He quickened his
pace and I was out! He just made
me cum. He spanked me and went
to sit next to Kwenzo. I was left
standing there feeling great
pleasure and shock.
Me: Excuse me.
I rushed to the bathroom and let
out a sigh. I've been holding it in
and I laughed a little. I did my
business and washed my hands.
They were still discussing this
party. I sat next to Menzi and
we talked for hours. They told me
not to cook super so we sat for
another hour just chatting and
we left when Ntombi texted us
saying she's home and bored.
Menzi walked us out and I drove
to Simi's to pick her up and went
to our apartment.
Simi: Go bath and get ready, I
brought a dress for you to wear
for the date tonight.
Me: Thank you! Who told you
about the date
Khetho: I did
Me: You saved me, I was still
confused about what to wear.
Simi: And Miss Photholo came to
the rescue.
I took a bath and got ready for
my date.
Ntombi: Sit down, don't get
dressed yet. Let me do your hair
She did a very beautiful hairstyle
on me and I was looking gorgeous.
Me: Thank you very much
I put my dress on and I looked
amazing. It wasn't too much, it
was a short black dress which
was casual. Put a damn jacket
over it and sneakers
Khetho: Now you look great.
Me: I feel like a teenager again.
Simi: Excited?
Me: Yes but I also feel nervous.
They laughed at me and my phone
vibrated. It was a text from
Thuso
Me: He's outside, bye guys.
#Kwanele
I spent the rest of the days in
Brazil working and thinking, alot.
I realized alot of what Kwenzo
and Thando said made sense and
I had to make my intentions clear
with Nosipho. I had to face my
fears and if I get hurt
somewhere along the line, then so
be it. I decided to take a leap of
faith but when I heard her
saying she's going on a date, I
knew I was too late. But
someone once told, its never too
late. And there's never a right
time. I called Kwenzo so he can
dig up some information about
this Thuso guy she's going on a
date with. I don't like the idea of
her going on a date but I didn't
want to tell her not to go, she
would think I'm trying to control
her. I'm still skating on thin ice
with her. When she was in
between my legs, I felt the need
to touch her. The initial plan was
just to touch her but it escalated
and I'm glad she didn't stop me.
It felt good to have my fingers
inside of her, it made me wish it
was my manhood instead but hey,
we're in no rush for that. Who am
I kidding? I wish I was burried
inside of her right now. She said
she is going to her date at 7pm.
It's almost 7 and I had a few
calls to make.
Me: Tau
Tau: Sho boss
Me: Follow Nosipho
Tau: The chef boss?
Me: Yes
Tau: On it boss.
Me: What have you found about
this boy?
Kwenzo: He is a geek, medical
student. Passed Matric with
flying colours, he is too much of a
nerd. He's 23. He's just all on
books and he watches Harry
Porter.
He will bore Nosipho. That I
know, my woman isn't much of an
education fan. It's pretty funny
and weird too. But hey, we're all
not academically gifted. Tau kept
me on the loop, this boy fetched
her at her apartment. He even
knows where she stays, I don't
like that. He took her to MacD?
What nonsense is that? Is this a
friendly outing or date? This kid
needs to up his game, still a
student, I understand.
Tau: Sho boss
Me: Talk
Tau: They seem to be heading to
the beach now.
Menzi: Let her be
Me: Would you be happy if Khetho
went on that date?
Menzi: Yes
Me: I know you brother
Menzi: I thought I was hiding it
well.
Me: As I said, I know you. You're
playing a dangerous game.
Menzi: And so are you.
We waited for hours for Tau to
say something. It was around
10pm and they were still seating
by the sand talking.
Tau: Boss, this boy is moving close
to Madam.
Menzi: He wants to make move
Me: Call her
Menzi: You're crazy but I'll call
anyways.
#Nosi
On the way I kept on wondering
where we're going to. And we
went to Macdonalds...
It was a cute gesture, it was
just the two of us. Apparently he
works here so he was able to pull
a few tricks so that we're alone
here and they should've been
closed. I appreciated that little
effort, I wasn't much of a fan of
MacD. I had too much of it in
High School but I wasn't going to
be a snob about it.
Thuso: You look beautiful
Me: Thank you.
Thuso: So tell me, what do you
do?
Me: I cook
Thuso: Like a professional chef?
Me: I wouldn't say professional
chef but I am someone's personal
chef. I didn't go to a culinary
school or something.
Thuso: So what did you do after
finishing high school?
Me: I didn't really pass grade 12
so I stayed at home and I've
been working.
Thuso: What subjects did you do?
Me: History, maths literally etc
Thuso: And you failed?
Me: Yes
Thuso: Wow
Okay, he seemed to be judging me.
Kwanele didn't judge me. Okay,
stop thinking about Kwanele.
Me: What do you do?
Thuso: I'm a medical student.
Want to specialize in
Endocrinology.
Wtf was that? He went on and on
explaining things I didn't even
understand. He was uttering big
words, big words that I never
even knew they existed. I was so
bored. I was focused on my food
and we finished up. I think he
noticed I was bored
Thuso: Enough about me, so what
do you do for fun?
Me: I like taking walks at the
beach
Thuso: Let's go then
Yey! Something better than
sitting here and being educated.
We went to the beach and the
sea breeze was just refreshing.
We took a walk while talking
about random things. He wasn't
as bad, he tried being less of a
nerd and we spoke about family.
Atleast he wanted kids. He told
me about his background and I
understood why he was so much
of a books person. Things were
geeting cosy, him touching my
hand and little hugs here and
there.
Thuso: Can I kiss you?
Aah that's cute, he even asks.
Such a gentleman. I smiled and
nodded. Just as we went close and
I closed my eyes, my phone rang.
Thuso: Ignore it.
It kept on ringing, whoever was
calling was very persistent. Its
Kwanele, why is he calling me.
Me: Its my boss, I have to take
it.
Thuso: Okay
Me: Mr Zondi
Kwanele: Come to work, I'm
hungry
Me: But Kwanele, it's late now
and I'm busy
Kwanele: Work before dates. Your
contract did say you are on call
24/7. Be here in 10mins
Me: I don't have transport
Kwanele: Theres a blue polo
waiting for you at the parking
area..
I hung up, I was upset. And
there's a car waiting for me?
How did he know I'm at the
beach? And he has never called
me to come in late, why call
tonight? This man is playing
games with me.
Me: I'm sorry Thuso, I need to go
work
Thuso: At this time?
Me: I'm on call 24/7. Its a
complicated situation. See my boss
is a blind man now he can't cook
for himself
Thuso: Why does he stay alone if
he's blind? Shouldn't he be at
some disabled people home or
something?
Okay that was rude.
Me: He is blind not disabled.
Why am I being so defensive?
Thuso: Still, he has a disability.
Me: Goodbye Thuso
Thuso: Let me drop you off
Me: No thanks, I have a ride.
Jerk.
I walked to the parking area
with my shoes in my hands and my
phone. My purse was under my
pits and I was angry. I don't
know if I'm angry at Thuso or
Kwanele. Argh I'm angry at the
both of them. I started at those
outside showers and washed off
the sand. I wasn't about to
enter someone's car with dirty
feet.
Me: Hi
Him: Sure Madam
Madam? Oh okay. We got to the
house and I walked in, making
sure I'm stomping my feet.
Kwanele: Pick your feet up, you're
breaking my floors.
Idiot.
He was sitting by the couch
listening to music. I went
straight to the kitchen and
started cooking. The pots fell and
I cursed
Kwanele: You need to calm down or
replacing those pots will come out
of your pay cheque.
He can keep that stupid cheque.
Okay I'm joking about that.
After an hour I was done
Me: Your food is ready sir
He walked towards me and stood
next to me.
Kwanele: I'm not hungry
Me: Don't piss me off Kwanele!
He laughed and cupped my face.
Kwanele: Oh buttercup, I'd love
to see how you look when you're
angry. I'm sure you look so sexy.
Your angry voice is doing things to
me.
Heavy breathing, I was in that
state. My mind flew back to what
happened earlier today. He's lips
touched mine and he's hands were
all over my body. He lifted me up
and placed me on the counter.
I'm shocked.
He kisses my neck and gets in
between my legs.
The rest is history.

Insert 14
Ever felt something so strong?
That you're even scared how it
gets to be so strong in a space of
just a couple of weeks. Is it
normal to fall in this deep so soon?
Isn't it dangerous? Isn't it
toxic? Just thinking about him
makes me feel some type of way.
Imagine how it feels waking up
next to him after a night of
bliss? I'm head over hills.
He held me, held me so tight,
brushing my thighs. I was over
the moon as I laid on the kitchen
counter.
He kissed me ever so passionately,
making me shiver, his touch
making me feel so electrocuted.
"Hey!! Hey!!! I've been calling you
for the past two minutes" she
shouted
Me: Uhm? Oh Hi Ntombi, when did
you get here?
Ntombi: And then? What are you
thinking about?
Me: Me? Uhm nothing... nothing
at all.
Is it nothing? Or was I lost in
my own thoughts from last
night?
He pulled me up, my legs around
his waist.
He spread them out
Took off my underwear, thank
God I had shaved. I guess fate
was telling me this would happen.
I came prepared but I wasn't
prepared for what went down. He
had this thing of first touching
me all over, his fingers making
tracks all over my legs, to my
knees, to my thighs and to my
honeypot. He planted soft wet
kisses from my legs, to my thighs
and to my honeypot. Marking the
same tracks as he did with his
fingers.
"Nosipho!! Snap out of it!"
Me: Huh?
Uhm it's Ntombi, she's still
talking.
Ntombi: You're not listening, stop
staring at that counter and get
back to earth. I'm going to Menzi
Me: Mmmh
The counter...
Same counter he laid me on. His
kisses and little bites on my
thighs.
I was wet.
Dripping wet..
And he liked it...
He kissed my clit, making me let
out a little moan. He's tongue
worked it's magic on my honeypot.
It was like honey dripping and
the bear was there licking it all
off.
He ate me, thrusting with his
tongue.
"Kwanele!!!!"- I screamed as I
reached an orgasm.
"I like having you scream my
name" He said as he ate me up
again.
Inserted his fingers
Quickened his pace, I was wet all
over again. My knees shivering
like I'm catching a cold.
My body reacting to his touch in a
way I've never felt before.
Overwhelming pleasure all over
my body. Such a good sensation
"Kwanele!!"- I screamed again
And that made him more eager to
keep on making me scream out his
name.
I reached orgasm, again and
again.
With him just fingering me and
taking me to muff town.
I was loosing it as he kissed my
thighs.
I felt it, I lost it, I squirted all
over the counter.
Thats it, thats the story behind
the counter. That's the memory
flooding my thoughts. After that
steamy session he cleaned up my
mess with me helping him. He
kept on spanking me. He's
naughty, I don't know, it excites
me in a way. We went to bed and
fell asleep. It was good to fall
asleep in his arms. I woke up
before he did and took a shower.
I've been thinking about last
night, all morning.
Argh, let me leave this kitchen.
Its making me loose my mind. I
went to the lounge and Ntombi
was chilling with Menzi when
Khetho and Funeka barged in
followed by Simi.
Funeka: Ladies!!!! And gentleman
Simi: You mean dork
Menzi: Hi and bye
He went upstairs and Simi looked
at me with a creepy smile.
Me: What?
Simi: Spit it out
Me: Spit what out?
Simi: Oh honey I can see right
through you!! You released some
knots last night did you!!
Me: A girl doesnt cum and tell
Funeka: Oh hell no!!!! You're giving
us all the details
Me: We didn't have sex okay? We
just, he just made me reach
orgasm so many times, I even
lost count.
Khetho: Who? Thuso
Me: What? No not Thuso.
Funeka: My brother!
Me: Yes
They screamed and were running
all over the lounge
Me: Sssh!!! Shut up!
Funeka grabbed my hand and we
ran out and went to the garden.
Ntombi: Talk.
I told them all about last night,
from the date with Thuso and
how I ended up pissing on a
kitchen counter. They were in
stitches and we had the naughty
talk for some time. Simi got a call
from Menzi. She put it on speaker
Menzi: We're out to get some
booze and meat. You can start on
the cooking
Me: Okay will do
Simi: Buy us some good alcohol,
we're partying up all night!
He hung up.
Me: Wasn't the party this
weekend?
Ntombi: Why wait for the
weekend? When the party can
start now till the weekend
Khetho: That's the spirit!
We laughed and went back inside
the house. Turned on the music
and started cooking, it wasn't
much, we just cooked pap and a
few salads. Vusi came by with two
other guys. Mmmh seems like we
have company, handsome company
to be more specific... okay and
scary company.
Funeka: Ntethe, you're still alive
Ntethe: Nothing can keep a good
man down.
They laughed and kissed each
other, okay what was that?
Funeka: Girls, meet my boyfriend,
Ntethelelo.
Me: Heyy!
This sneaky one didn't tell us she
has a man.
Simi: And who is the other
yummy?
She's talking about the scary guy.
Simi has balls I tell you
Him: The name is Lwazi.
Simi: Mmmh, I've been with a
Lwazi before. He couldn't get his
thingy up, so no thank you. No
more Lwazi's
Lwazi: You can't punish a man for
another mans mistakes or shall I
say tragedy. You've been with the
bad Lwazi's. Honey, this man can
get up at any time of the day
Simi: Cocky much? All talk but no
action
Lwazi: Confident much. I believe
actions speak louder than words.
Simi: I like!
Vusi: Are y'all done now?
Simi! Simi! Where does this girl
come from?
Vusi: Simi just introduced herself
no need to introduce her. And that
over there is Nosipho, our Miss
Chef, and then theres Ntombi,
Khetho and ladies this is Ntethe
and Lwazi. You've met the entire
wolf pack.
And the wolf pack made so much
noise as Kwanele walked in with
Menzi. Okay, I think I liked it
better when it was just the few
of us. I'm joking, they seem like a
whole lot of fun. Kwenzo also
walked in with a beautiful lady
who was in jeans and a basket
ball t-shirt with flipflops. She
looks like Funeka. I figured she's
the Thando, Kwanele told me
about.
Thando: Hello ladies, mmh this
party will be lit. Funeka move your
ugly face from these cuties
Funeka: And you've just arrived,
party pooper.
They laughed and hugged each
other.
Kwanele: Don't even think about
it.
Thando: I haven't even done
anything
Kwanele: I know how your mind
works.
She introduced herself and there
was something weird about her.
Ntombi: Okay! Let the party
begin!
Kwanele walked to me and held my
hand.
Kwanele: You good?
Me: Yes I'm okay.
Wow that's a first. Its cute
though, I'm not complaining at
all. We went outside and sat down.
It was a cool vibe, they were
grilling the meat while chatting
up a storm and we ladies just sat
and drank while holding up our
own conversation. Menzi's phone
rang and he was suddenly so
nervous. He answered and told us
he had to rush somewhere for
just five minutes.
Khetho: I wonder whats up with
him
Simi: You'll ask, you're the Mrs
Khetho:(giggles) No, we just close
friends.
Me: Where is Ntombi?
Funeka: They went to checkers
with Thando. Surely they'll be
back now.
Funeka couldnt keep her eyes off
Ntethe, it was a cute thing to
watch really. There's nothing
more precious than a couple who
is deeply inlove. The whole world
can see it but only they can feel it,
it's special. Thando and Ntombi
came back with more wine. I kept
on stealing glances on Thando,
something wasn't right about
her. I don't know, there's
something I wasn't getting.
Thando: You like staring
Me: Sorry, I'm just thinking.
Thando: I'm lesbian, before you
crack your head.
Me: Oh
I'm always the last one to catch
things, like Nosipho, you're slow
sweetie.
Simi: Yummy
Me: You still have Lwazi to deal
with
Simi: I can take both, I mean like
that's no harm in that.
We laughed at her, she's so care
free and just knows how to have
fun. She's such a vibe. I stood up,
my intention was to go to the
kitchen but I stopped when I
saw Menzi coming with a woman.
I stood there and he looked so
nervous. He clears his throat and
everyone pays attention to him.
The stares from these girls!
Menzi: Uhmm... this is Buhle and
she is my girlfriend...
The guys made a noise cheering
and saying hello. The ladies
remained silent and looked at
them. The noise slowly died down
and the tension was building up.
The look on Khetho's face, I don't
wish to be Buhle right now.
Okay, someone needs to break the
ice now.
Kwenzo: Uhm, you may sit down
Buhle, nice to meet you. I'm
Kwenzo, the handsome little
brother
And she laughs, she's super
beautiful. She makes her way to
my seat and Funeka pulls the
chair with her leg
Khetho: There's Nosi's seat. Get
your own
Me: No you can sit. I'll grab
another chair.
The stares I got! Let me get out
of here before I'm killed. Even
Thando wasn't happy about this,
she kept on eyeing Menzi.
Something was going on here. I
took out a bowl and poured in
more chips and another, I filled
with sweets and chocolates.
Menzi came and stood next to me.
He looked frustrated
Me: You look like hell
Menzi: We need to talk
He grabbed me out to the
parking lot.
Me: Talk
Menzi: I like them both, so so
much
Me: What are you thinking about?
Menzi: I need you to be serious
Nosi, just for a second
Me: No seriously I'm lost. Explain
Menzi: So I like Khetho, I think
I damn love her.
What! Oh my gosh! I jumped a
little and I realized there's
trouble
Me: Oh, and Buhle.
Menzi: Yes. I've been seeing her
for a while and I like her too
Me: You're in shit. Does Khetho
know you like her?
Menzi: We've been flirting and just
enjoying each others company. Our
little fights just turn me on. We
kissed last night and she told me
its too soon and I understood
Me: You kiss her and then bring
your girlfriend over, low move
dude. And where on earth did you
kiss last night?
Menzi: I was at the apartment.
When I came home, you and
Kwanele were making so much
noise. I left and went to the
apartment
Okay, I have no comment about
that.
Menzi: You're such a screamer
Me: Shut up.
Menzi: It seems like the girls all
hate her, please, please just be
nice to her.
Me: You do know Khetho is my
friend?
Menzi: I'm your friend too
Me: You're putting me in the
middle, thats a tough position to
be in.
Menzi: I'm begging you.
Me: Fine
Menzi: You're the best.
Me: Carry a chair for me
He carried a chair for me and we
went back to the others. He put
my chair in between Khetho and
Buhle, right. I'm so in the middle.
It was just silent
Me: Have they introduced
themselves?
Buhle: No
Me: I'm sorry, they tend to be a
bit shy and awkward when they
meet new people. I'm Nosi, this is
Funeka, Khetho, Simi, Ntombi and
Thando.
Buhle: Pleased to meet you, I'm
Buhle Dlamini.
Ntombi: Hi
The others remained silent.
Me: How's the meat guys?
These idiots seemed like they just
want to laugh at Menzi. Kwanele
and Ntethe went inside the
house. We heard the loud
laughter.
Vusi: It will be ready in a minute.
These two came back and
Kwanele stood behind me holding
my shoulder.
Khetho: Let's get drunk!!!!!!
Finally.
We all screamed and Khetho gave
Buhle a glass of wine.
Buhle: Oh sorry I don't drink.
Khetho: My bad, I'll get you some
juice.
She went to the kitchen and got
her fruit juice, she poured it in a
glass and gave it to her. The look
on Ntombi and Simi's face, they
wanted to say something. I
looked at Menzi and he smiled. He
was really in a tight position and
we needed to talk more about
this issue.
Thando: Okay, she has juice now
so lets play beer pong
Me: What's that?
Kwanele: She's coming up with her
silly beer games. Kwanele sat on
my seat while Thando explained
the game. Buhle didn't play. We
were in pairs and Menzi decided to
pair up with Khetho, just great.
The instructions were so long, I
just held onto the part where I
knew I had to throw a ball into
the beer glass, I guess that was
basically it. We played and it was
fun until it was Menzi and
Khetho's turn. The fights
started
Khetho: You were given clear
instructions
Menzi: And you didn't follow them
Khetho: I'm not in the mood, I
don't want to fight with you
today.
Thats the first, she never backs
down in their fights. Menzi
wasn't happy about that, it was
written all over his face.
Lwazi: Okay! Lets play spin the
bottles
Simi: Yes!!
Kwanele: Not happening. Nosi is
not playing
Me: Why?
Kwanele: Cause you're lips are only
mine to kiss, no one elses.
The way Khetho screamed, she
was getting drunk. I stood there
like a love struck puppy. I went
to sit on his lap and kissed him.
Only Simi and Lwazi played their
game, they just wanted to kiss
each other, thats it. I kept on
stealing glances at Khetho, Menzi
and Buhle. Menzi looked really
taken by Buhle. The girls and I
just need a meeting. I don't know
how this will unfold but Menzi has
to choose 1 at the end of the day.
Maybe he is just in a phase, it will
pass.
Vusi: Meat is ready
Me: Finally. Funeka and Ntombi
dished up for everyone. I took
Kwanele's first and started
feeding him.
Buhle: Why are you feeding him?
Silence.
Silence..
Silence...
Me: He's can't feed himself
Buhle: Why?
Simi: Menzi, you should've briefed
your girl
Kwanele: I'm blind
Buhle: Oh, sorry. Uhm I didn't
know. I just didnt think he was
blind, I mean he walks alone and
he basically did some things
himself. Its hard to tell and...
Menzi: No need to explain, I
should've told you.
Kwanele: I'm full. I don't want to
eat alot since I'll still drink alot.
Buhle: No, no don't stop eating
because of me. I didn't mean to
offend you or make you feel
uncomfortable
We were all just silent. Can she
stop talking?
Me: Pass me my plate please
Buhle
Buhle: Oh okay
Me: Thank you. Cute nails
Buhle: Thank you
I ate and Buhle helped with the
dishes. We washed them and she
wasn't a bad person. She likes
laughing and she talks, alot.
Me: So how did you and Menzi
meet?
Buhle: He approached me at a
flower shop. Like any other girl, I
played hard to get but I knew I
liked him from our first date.
That's basically it
Me: That's cute. So things are
official now?
Buhle: I didn't know till he said
I'm his girlfriend today. So it's
official
Me: That's cute, he just threw
that bomb at you
Buhle: Yes he did.
Kwanele came to the kitchen. I
could see Buhle was still shocked,
I was as amazed too. I guess
she'll get used to it.
Kwanele: Buhle
She nodded and walked out. He
wrapped his arms around my
waist and kissed my neck
Kwanele: You're having a good
day?
Me: Yes but your brother has me
at a tight corner
Kwanele: He told you about his
mess?
Me: Yes he did.
He laughed about it and kept on
kissing my neck.
Kwanele: Are you girls sleeping
over?
Me: I doubt we will. We'll go over
to the apartment, we have alot
to talk about.
Kwanele: We also have alot to talk
about
Me: We do?
Kwanele: Yes we do. Come over
tomorrow, we'll spend the day
together and talk
Me: Just the two of us?
Kwanele: Yes
Me: Okay, I'll come.
Kwanele: Even though I can't see
you, you look beautiful.
Me: Thank you
Okay! That was cute. He's
making me blush so much. I can
feel his boner and I giggled. We
kissed for a while and went back
to the others. It wasn't as
awkward and Buhle was talking
to Ntombi. Okay, I like what I'm
seeing. Menzi seems more calm
but he keeps on staring at
Khetho. I guess he's worried
about her. I just sat down and
stared at everyone. I just wonder
where all of this is going.
Whether we'll still have each
other in a few years to come. I
wouldn't want to have other
friends, I hope what we're
forming here is something that
will last forever. It's always
great to find family in your
friends. We all need love and a
great support systems, it's rare
to find that in friends these days.
I hope we last long
Kwenzo: You seem to be deep in
thoughts
Me: I'm just thinking where we'll
be in a year or two from now. I
mean like, where this friendship is
going
Vusi: You don't have to worry, we
the type that like long lasting
friendships. That's why we're still
friend since our primary school
days.
We spoke alot about friendship
and I could see we valued this one
alot. I hope we are going forward
with this.
Buhle: Let's toast to friendship
and good relationships
She's making toasts now, with a
glass of juice. Simi laughed a bit
and raised her own glass as we
followed. I knew she wanted to
say something after the toast.
We need to wrap this party up
and go home. We have alot to get
off of our chests. I miss Kwanele,
I looked at him as he chilled with
his brother they seemed to be in
a deep conversation with him
laughing here and there. It
amazes me how handsome he is,
dark man, melanin rich with
shinning white teeth. Is it safe
to say I'm completely blown
away? Because I am. I really am.

Insert 15
The party ended and I'm glad it
wasn't that late. It was just
9pm, my friend's and I need many
hours of catching up. Ntethelelo
wanted to leave with Funeka but
she refused. She knew it was
about to go down. Thando left
with the guys and we headed to
Simi's house.
Simi: I've been waiting for this
moment
Khetho: I'm so drunk, I need
food. Foood, where is the food
Funeka: Pizza, order Pizza and
don't forget Juice for Mrs goodiee
too shoes
We laughed so much, mind you, we
were still on the drive way. We
sat there and laughed, I don't
even know what we were laughing
at.
Simi: Let me order Pizza
She ordered while we sang
Rihanna_ Kiss it better.
Funeka: Now that's a jam!
Khetho: Men are trash!
Ntombi: Amen soul sister!
Khetho: No, no wait, what I
mean is, Menzi is trash!
Funeka: Oh my dear brother, You
are trash!
We laughed and the pizza was
delivered. We munched on our
pizza while singing, on the drive
way.
Ntombi: So you and Kwarns are a
thing now?
Me: Kwarns, you're crazy. I don't
know, he hasn't said anything. He
said he wants us to talk
tomorrow
Simi: Mmmh!!!! Well the talk is just
for formalities. You guys are just
a couple already, so cute!
Funeka: To NoGift and Kwarns!!
We made a toast with our pizza
slices.
Me: And wena Funeka, you didn't
tell us about Ntethe!
Funeka: I wanted to tell you
when I introduce him to you
ladies.
Me: You're so inlove
Funeka: Its been 2years
Simi: Hack, I've never had a
relationship that long. I get
bored too quickly.
Me: I also haven't had a
relationship that long. Hack, I
don't even know if I've had a
proper relationship before. My
past relationships were just
nonsense. And Khetho, why didn't
you tell me you kissed Menzi
Funeka: What!!
Simi: You weren't here. We were
watching them at the window
Ntombi: It was so beautiful.
Khetho: Hey, it was just a kiss.
It meant nothing
Me: Are you sure?
Khetho: He has a girlfriend, that
made everything clear. Plus, I'm
in no position to be in a
relationship now. I'm just not
ready, I want to work on myself
first. So whatever fling we had
has come to an end. He has Buhle,
she's beautiful hey.
Me: Damn beautiful, like she just
came out of a magazine.
Simi: I was so jealous, so jealous.
Ntombi: She doesn't drink, so
maybe we should also stop
drinking and we'll be that
beautiful.
Funeka: Okay, now that's a bad
idea. I'm fine as I am, as long as
I have my wine with me.
Simi: Amen to that. Has anyone
seen my keys? Keys anyone?
We all mumbled no while looking
into our bags. We couldn't find the
keys
Simi: No keys, no house
We laughed at her so much.
Khetho: We'll just sleep right
here.
Me: Right! We're sleeping on a
drive way!!
#NextMorning
I could feel a really cold breeze. I
turned and a leg was ontop of me.
I'm not waking up at all, I need
my beauty sleep. A car hoot woke
us all up.
Simi: Aaah!!!! Am I dying? I still
need to sleep with a chinese man!
Please don't kill me
Really? Wow, that is what she's
worried about?
Me: Where the fuck are we?
Khetho:(laughs) We really slept on
the driveway?
Menzi: How drunk were you guys
last night? You're even covered in
pizza
Vusi: This needs a picture
Funeka: Hell no
Me: Please be silent, I need more
sleep
Kwanele: On the driveway? Get
up.
We all got up, my body hurts. Its
like I've been hit by a truck.
Simi: Gosh my body hurts
Me: You're not alone
Vusi: That's what you get for
sleeping on a damn drive way
Me: Simi couldn't find her keys.
Kwanele: She left her keys at the
house and we only saw it this
morning. Why didn't you drive back
or go to the apartment.
Me: No one was sane enough to
suggest that.
Ntombi: Who would even drive
there? I need a shower
Me: I need to sleep.
Kwanele cleared his throat and I
remembered I had to be with him
for the talk.
Me: Just one hour please
Kwanele: You'll sleep at my place.
Pack a bag
Argh! I wanna sleep but I also
want to spend time with him. I
went to my room and packed a
bag. I changed into a tracksuit
and went to stand next to him.
Me: I'm ready
Kwanele: We out
Khetho: I'm going to miss you my
friend
Me: Me too. Bye and behave
yourselves
Kwanele: Drive
Me: Your car?
Kwanele: Yes
Me: Awesome
Kwanele: Don't make me regret it.
Who wouldn't be excited about
driving a G-Wagon? I drove off
and I was pumping music with my
shades on. I was singing out loud
and he kept on laughing at me
Kwanele: So much for being tired
and wanting to sleep
Me: The G-Wagon woke me up.
I literally took the long route to
his house just so I could drive
around for a longer period of time.
We got to his house and I went
to take a shower while he laid on
his bed, I'm in his room using his
shower. What a wow!
I took a shower till I was
satisfied that I'm clean enough.
I lotioned and got dressed in the
bathroom. I went out to his
closet and put my bag there. He
has alot of suits, most are black
and brown.
Kwanele: You literally took two
hours
Me: You're exaggerating.
Kwanele: Come here
I laid next to him and he moved
closer and I laid on his chest.
Kwanele: I think I love you.
Silence
Silence
Silence
Kwanele: Say something
Me: Uhm... I think I feel the
same way too.
Kwanele: I'd love to give this
thing a try, like make this thing
official
Me: Like a relationship?
Kwanele: Yes
Me: A committed and serious
relationship Kwanele
Kwanele: Uhm... yes... yes that.
Me: It's not that, it's a
relationship Kwanele
Kwanele: Yes, a relationship.
That's what I want to try out.
Nosipho, what I feel for you is
different, I'm happy. With just
hearing your voice my mind just
goes to unthinkable places and you
manage to give me a boner with
just touching you. I won't lie, I'm
scared of feeling this love thing
and giving it a shot but rather I
get hurt trying.
Me: Thank you for seeing me
worth taking this chance for.
Kwanele: You're worth more. You
deserve more. I don't know how
these relationship things work
and I'm willing to learn and try it
out with you. I need you to be
open and tell me when I'm wrong.
I need you to walk this journey
with me
Me: I'll be more than glad to.
You're already charming me with
your words
Kwanele: I hope I sweep your
feet off with my actions
Me: Cheesy
He laughed and kissed my nose.
Kwanele: The intention was
kissing your lip but whatever
I laughed at him and kissed him.
Me: Soo, I'm your girlfriend now?
Kwanele: Yes, girlfriend.
We kissed for while and my heart
was floating in cloud nine. He
grabbed my ass and I giggled. A
part of me knew what I was
getting into. Its not like he has
left his smashing relationships.
But I'll sit and wait and see how
things go and he will raise the
situation up
Kwanele: What are you thinking
about?
Me: About us, I'm happy
Kwanele: I'm glad you're happy. I
might not always make you happy
but just know my intentions are
to make you happy.
Me: Thank you. I wanna ask you
something
Kwanele: What is it?
Me: How did you get blind?
Kwanele: I'm sure you've always
wanted to ask
Me: Yes
Kwanele: Well my father's father
which is my grandfather was born
blind. Apparently it runs in the
family history. I wasn't born blind
but I did have eyesight problems.
I wasn't even going to be blind
maybe I'd just spend the rest of
my life with just eyesight
problems but what triggered it
most was when a pot of boiling oil
on me. What I did wrong was
turn and look up to it so the oil
entered my eyes.
Me: What were you doing with
boiling oil?
Kwanele: Apparently my aunty
was making fatkoeks, I was a
naughty child who loved running
around the kitchen plus I was
abit tall, I could reach the stove.
I grabbed the pot and it fell. My
left arm also got burnt and
somewhere on my back. Then from
there I was just permanently
blind and there's no going back. My
father took me to so many
doctors and eye specialists but
nothing worked
Me: So there's a possibility that
your kids could be blind too?
Kwanele: I won't have kids.
Me: You're not answering my
question
Kwanele: Yes theres a high
possibility.
Me: Why won't you have kids?
Kwanele: I don't want them to
live this life that I live. That's
it.
Me: I get you
We spent hours just chilling in bed
talking.
Me: I'm hungry
Kwanele: Order
Me: I can cook
Kwanele: No, I want you right
next to me.
I wonder why he has so many
phones when he doesn't even use
one. I ordered and laid on his
chest again. He kissed my neck
and I giggled.
Kwanele: I love your laugh, I
want you to laugh like this at all
times. I don't promise you that
all days will be great, maybe most
days won't be but please bare
with me and don't loose yourself
because of me, you're a person
who loves laughing and that
shouldn't change. I've seen and
heard about how love and pain
changes people. I need you to
change for the better. Do you
wish to go back to school?
Me: No
Kwanele: What do you want to do?
Me: Just cook, That's all I can do
Kwanele: That's not all you can do,
you can do much more with your
life than just cook
Me: Maybe I don't want to do
anything with my life Kwanele.
Let's go downstairs, the food is
here.
Kwanele: I'll follow
I left him in bed and went
downstairs. Indeed the food had
arrived and I started dishing up
for the both of us. I bent down
trying to pick up the bag I
dropped and there he was
grinding on me. My heart stopped
beating a bit, I was shocked.
Kwanele: Get up
He laughed and sat on the stool
then took off his glasses. With
just a touch I was just so horny
already.
Kwanele: Eat
I ate and even had seconds, I
was very hungry. When I was
done I wanted to feed him but he
refused.
Me: You don't want to eat?
Kwanele: I'm not hungry for food
Me: Then what are you hungry
for?
Kwanele: You, follow me.
I walked slowly behind him. I was
nervous and excited. I didn't know
what was going to happen but
mostly, I was curious. Ever since
Simi and Kwanele hooked up, I've
always wanted to know how he
has sex. I mean he's blind, I don't
know what to expect.
Kwanele: Take off your clothes
Me: Huh?
Kwanele: You heard me.
I took off my clothes and just
stood there
Kwanele: Lay on the bed
I did as I was told and laid on his
bed. The curtains closed and it
was dark. What is going on here?
I wanted to laugh but I didn't
want to seem like I'm some idiot.
A song started playing and it
sounded familiar
Me: J. Holiday, Bbed
Kwanele: I see we have the same
taste in music
Me: I guess so.
He stood next to me and started
touching me.
Kwanele: Lay on your stomach
Me: Why?
Kwanele: Listen
I did as I was told and laid on my
stomach. He touched my butt and
laughed
Me: What?
Kwanele: Stop holding your butt
in, relax.
I laughed too and then I relaxed.
He seemed to have a playlist
which was just soulful and sexual
music. I closed my eyes as I felt
his hands on my shoulders. He was
giving me a massage. It felt so
good and I was getting wet by
him just giving me a massage. He
kissed my neck and kissed me all
the way down to my back and
down to my butt. He squeezed it
and kissed my butt cheek.
Kwanele: I love this
He spanks me and I moan.
He continued making my body relax
and feel good. He has rough hands
yet they are so soft of my skin.
He rubbed my clit all the way
from the back. He was rubbing it
and he inserted finger so deep I
was moaning loudly.
Kwanele: I don't know how to
love, but I'll learn, just for you. I
don't know what to do but I'll do
everything just to make you
happy
I couldn't even respond to his
words. I was too lost in my own
world. A world that he has taken
me too.
I'm wet
I felt his tongue on my vagina
and he inserted it. He was taking
me to muff town and I was
shivering.
He ate me up till I reached
orgasmn, twice.
Kwanele: Turn around
I turned and faced him. He
opened my legs and went down
again
Me: Kwanele!!
Kwanele: That's my name babe
He made feel so good and I felt it
Me: Kwanele, I'm going to squirt
Kwanele: Let it all out babe
I did as I was told and this time,
it was such a mess.
Kwanele: Fuck
I stood up and took out the
bedding. He went to the
bathroom and I followed him
there.
Kwanele: Can't get enough of me?
Me: I just came to drop these in
the basket.
Kwanele: Really?
He kissed my shoulder and held me
tightly.
Kwanele: Is it too early to tell you
that I love you?
Me: No, it's perfectly fine
Kwanele: I love you
Me: I love you too
Kwanele: Thank you, thank you for
giving me this chance.
Me: Now, let's go and eat.
Kwanele: I'm full, I just ate you.
I was flushed, I didn't know
what to say. I just sang along to
SZA_ Broken clocks with him
humming and just holding me. It
felt good to be in his arms. It
felt like it was all just a dream
but no, it's reality Nosipho and
you love this man. I'm taking a
leap of faith and getting into this
relationship wholeheartedly and I
hope I don't regret it in the long
run.

Insert 16
I woke up and I wasn't able to
move. Oh my gosh!! Am I
paralyzed?
Am I?
I wanna scream!
Okay scream
I screamed so loudly something
moved next me. I fully opened my
eyes and Kwanele was sitting up.
Oh my! I just wanted to hide. I
didn't see him but he was holding
me. Why does he sleep with his
entire body covered by a blanket?
Can he breath with his face all
covered up to?
Kwanele: Why on earth are you
screaming?
He was so chilled, I mean what if
someone was trying to kill me?
Me: I couldn't move...
Kwanele: So? I was holding you so
you could have just removed my
hand and then got out of bed
Me: I literally thought I was
paralyzed. I couldnt move, I
couldn't see your hand and your
face. Plus I was still half asleep
so I'm sorry for waking you up
Kwanele: You committed a huge
crime, no one wakes me up. And
why are you waking up anyways?
It's stil early
Me: I need the loo
He nodded and covered himself up.
He seemed annoyed. Our first
official morning of waking up
together turned into such a
stupid scene. I thought about
while I was at the toilet seat
and I laughed out loudly. Finished
up my business, washed my hands
and brushed my teeth then went
back to bed.
Kwanele: You took so long and
what was making you laugh at
the bathroom?
Me: Nothing, I was just thinking.
Kwanele: About me I hope
I laughed at him and laid next to
him. I held onto him and took in
his scent. He has a great smell
even when he wakes up in the
morning. Everything about him
seems perfect, I have to keep up.
Kwanele: Why did you brush your
teeth? Now I'm the only one with
morning breath
Me: You know, sometimes I feel
like a dummy
Kwanele: Why?
Me: I can't respond to some
things so all I do is just laugh.
Some people get irritated by that
and think I'm just a dummy
Kwanele: Well I love it and you're
not a dummy so don't ever think
you're one or say you're one.
I watched him as he walked with
his calculated steps to the
bathroom. He didn't even close
the door, I wonder why he feels
so comfortable around me. I
should get used to it and be more
comfortable too. The curtains
automatically opened so it meant
it's 8am. I made the bed and
went to the closet to pick out
clothes I'll wear today.
Kwanele: Let's take a shower
Me: Together?
Kwanele: We are together now
aren't we?
Me: Uhm okay
Kwanele: Don't worry, it will be
just an innocent shower.
Indeed it was an innocent shower
with just a few kisses here and
there. We finished up and got
dressed then I went downstairs
to make breakfast while he went
to Menzi at the porch. I got to
the kitchen and Buhle was there
making breakfast.
Buhle: Good Morning
Me: Morning
Buhle: I heard you're the chef
around here, I'm sorry for
invading your kitchen space.
Me: No problem. It will be great
to have someone serving me for a
change
I took my phone and made a
WhatsApp group for the girls.
"Finally, someone remembered to
create this group."- Simi texted
We've always been saying we'll do
it but we keep on forgetting.
Maybe it's because we're
together most times.
"Ntombi where are you? We've
been calling but no answer."-
Funeka
"She's not with me. I wonder
where is she. Anyways, I woke up
and bumped into Buhle in the
kitchen cooking breakfast. I'm
with her rn"- I texted.
Texts came flooding in, even
Ntombi texted yet she didn't tell
us where she was.
"Has she showered? How
beautiful is she even without a
shower?"- Ntombi
I actually took a look at her, she
was still in her pyjamas and I
figured maybe she hasn't took a
bath yet. She is so beautiful,
clear light skin with a dark patch
on her neck. She's a bit tall and
thick. She looks like she's just
came out of a magazine. I texted
the girls and honestly we're so
envious of her.
"Ask her what she uses on her
face?"- Khetho
Me: What do you use on your face?
Buhle: Pardon, I didn't hear you
Me: Your face, It's flawless. What
do you use on it?
Buhle: Oh, I use honey. Just put
it on your face let it stay for
about 15mins. Wash it off and put
face lotion. That's it.
She dished up for us and I went
to call Kwanele and Menzi.
Me: Breakfast is ready, Sweet
Buhle cooked.
Kwanele: Why are you calling her
sweet Buhle?
Me: Just
Menzi: They hate her, all of them.
Including Thando
Me: We don't hate her at all, she's
just different. And I guess that's
why you love her.
Menzi: It's not love yet, it's still
just a like.
I shook my head and we went to
the dinning area. She went all out
and set it on the dinning table. I
thanked her, we like just eating
at the kitchen counter. Its less
of a hassle but she made an
effort so we should appreciate. I
ate while Kwanele just sipped on
his yogasip. He enjoys it more
than yoghurt. Its funny and
weird how he likes junk food, I've
never really met a guy who likes
junk food, he has a sweet tooth.
Me: Let's eat
Kwanele: Are there pancakes?
Me: Yes
Kwanele: I want to eat pancakes
only
Me: Okay babe
Menzi: Babe? Huh, I see we took
it to the next level.
Kwanele: Yes, she's my girl now so
respect her
Menzi: Yes sir. I'm happy for you
both.
Buhle: Congratulations, I actually
thought you have been together
for a while now. You make a good
couple
Me: Thanks
We had breakfast in silence, little
conversations here and there and
my phone getting so many
notifications I had to put it on
silent. I knew it was these girls,
creating this group was a mess.
Me: Okay! I'm going home
Kwanele: What? No why?
Me: Because I have to see my
girls
Kwanele: Come back tonight
Me: Okay fine I'll come back.
Kwanele: Come here.
I went to him and hugged him.
He pulled me back and started
kissing me. We had a little
conversation in between the
kisses. It was a romantic scene
which is something I never
imagined Kwanele doing. I feel like
he has this certain side to him
that is caring and a bit romantic.
Kwanele: I don't want you to go
Me: I have to go and you have to
go to work
Kwanele: Come with my upstairs
while I get dressed for work then
we'll go together, you'll be dropped
off.
Me: Fine
Menzi: He's clingy already. Hurry
up, don't do something I wouldn't
do.
We went upstairs and he changed
while I helped him out. We first
had to go through an argument
about me helping him.
Me: You said I should accept you
as you are. Now you should accept
that I'll always be here to help
you even if you don't ask me to
but I'll help when I want to.
Now, let me fix your tie
Kwanele: Fine
He sat down and drank his whisky
while I tied his tie. I sat on him
with my legs around his waist
while I put it on him.
Kwanele: You're sitting in a very
dangerous position my lady
Me: Am I?
Kwanele: Yes you are.
We kissed and just when the kiss
got intense and heated. I pulled
away and stood up
Kwanele: What are you doing?
He sounded annoyed and I laughed
at him and told him let's go.
Me: Where are your keys? I'm
driving
Kwanele: I do have a driver that
I pay very well.
Me: Just a few hours off will
make him happy. I am driving you
to work Mr Zondi
He didn't argue like I thought he
would and I drove off to his
office, he put his address on the
GPS and then it clicked, I don't
even know what he does.
Me: What do you do?
Kwanele: It's like you read my
mind, I was still thinking about
how you don't know what I do.
I'm CEO of my fathers
Marketing company.
Me: And Menzi?
Kwanele: We're both CEO's, we
run all our fathers companies
Me: You don't have your own?
Kwanele: The restaurants are
mine and Menzi has hotels, we
own 50% of each others
companies. We do everything
together business wise
Me: That's impressive
Kwanele: Thank you. I'll call my
driver to pick me up. Keep the car
He kissed me goodbye and a
bodyguard was already waiting
for him. I waited for them to
enter the building and then I
drove off to my apartment. The
girls were there besides Ntombi,
she went to attend a session at a
practice that she's been doing her
practicals at. She's been pretty
busy these days with her
graduation coming up in a a few
months she has alot to do. Simi
studies part time and she has no
job now apparently she says she
doesn't need a job to survive.
She's looking for something that
will keep her excited at all times
and a job isn't something that will
keep her excited at all times.
Me: So what's going on in your
lives ladies?
Khetho: Simi went on a date with
Lwazi last night. We've been
waiting for you so she can tell us
about it.
Me: I'm here now, talk and let it
all out.
Simi: Well, the date was great.
Better than I even expected it
to be.
She went on and explained how
she appreciated how Lwazi didn't
make her feel uncomfortable nor
make her feel like she's too much
of a snob. In a way she says on all
the dates she's been to, most
times the guys just wanna talk
more about her riches and her
parents. Apparently she comes
from a well known family so the
guys she's been with are more
interested in her family more
than her and what she has more
than what she is.
Simi: He even paid the bill without
even asking if I will pay or
anything. He took care of
everything and he sort of enjoyed
my crazy character. It was
something different
Funeka: So there was that
spark?
Simi: Not yet, I don't fall in love
easily nor do I get to have
feelings for someone that easily.
If I have feelings for a certain
guy then you should know that he
really meant alot and made a
huge impression on me. So far,
Lwazi has just that little
impression
Me: Second date?
Simi: Yes, next week. He's out of
town till Friday so I'll see him
Friday evening.
Khetho: I'm happy theres a
second date. And wena skat?
What happened with you and
Kwarns?
Me: You're really going to call him
Kwarns?
Simi: Only when he isn't around.
Me: Well, it's official, him and I
are a couple now. No sex, if that's
what you wanted to know. It
wad just amazing hey..
I told them about the things
that took place till this morning
with finding Buhle in the kitchen.
We were basically just catching up
and it was a good moment, we
were sober that's even better.
We were slowly turning into
alcoholics.
Funeka: And wena Khetho?
What's up? Menzi was here last
night and they argued as always
Khetho: He got me a job, I'm
starting next week Monday.
Simi: That's great then but why
did you argue about it?
Khetho: I'm grateful for the job
but I just hate that he got me a
job. Its something I wanted to
do myself but I wasn't getting it.
I need the job so I'll take it but
I hate that he made it happen.
She went on and explained how
she thinks Menzi doesn't love her
but only just feels sorry for her.
How he is just playing hero,
having a soft spot for her just
because of what she's been
through now helping her makes it
seem to him that he is protecting
her and loves her yet he just feels
sorry for her
Khetho: He can't seem to see the
difference between love and
feeling sorry for me. He loves
Buhle and he should stick to that.
Funeka: Woah, woah, so he told
you how he felt?
Khetho: No but he tried kissing
me again and I said no. Then its
what I concluded, why would he
still want to be kissing me and
doing things for me if he didn't
feel some sort of way. Menzi and
I wouldnt work out.
Me: Why?
Khetho: He feels sorry for me.
He's more of a man who wants to
come and save me, fix me and
protect me. That will only lead to
him wanting to control me and I
will be dependent on him. I know
maybe he is trying to help but
there are things I want to do on
my own. I want to be my own
woman.
She went further and explained
how she would sometimes feel
trapped in her relationship with
Khethelo because she was
depending on him. She doesn't
want to be in something where
she feels inferior and doesn't have
something in her name and
something of her own.
What she said to me was
something that made me think
deep. What do I have of my own
and in my own name? I have a job
but what happens to it when
things don't work out between me
and Kwanele? I know he might
fire me or I might quit because I
don't want to be around him and
then what happens to me? I'm
back to square one. I need to do
something, something concrete
that I'll fall back into. I want to
do something but I don't know
what it is but I definitely know it
has nothing to do with studying.
I texted with my mom as she
was just checking up on me. They
should come back already, I miss
my parents so much now. We
watched movies and Ntombi came
back looking all happy and smiling
Me: And then?
Ntombi: What?
Simi: You're busy blushing
Ntombi: Oh I just got a call from
someone who made me laugh, not
blush. So I was just thinking. And
it's not a boyfriend or anything.
Its just a friend
Khetho: For a therapist, I'm
disappointed. You should know
over explaining something,
especially when you're not even
asked just gives you away, Its
you just telling us what actually
happened yet you're in denial that
it actually happened
Me: Okay I don't understand but
it makes sense in a way
Simi: It's a therapist to
therapist thing hey, you won't
understand
Funeka: Khetho isn't even a
therapist
She shrugged and we laughed and
continued watching movies while
talking. We weren't really paying
much attention to the movie.
Time went by so fast and it was
7pm and I got a call from
Kwanele.
Kwanele: Where are you?
Me: Not even a hello?
Kwanele: You said you'd come back
Me: I'm coming
He hung up and I went to
shower. I had forgotten about
going back to his place. Simi
packed me an overnight bag and
they accompanied me to the
garage.
Funeka: He gave you his car?
Me: Yes
Funeka: Thats big, that man
doesnt just give off his car.
I giggled, I didn't know how to
answer that so I chose to just
laugh at her. I said my goodbyes
to them and drove off. One the
way I saw Menzi's car heading to
our apartment. Maybe Buhle has
left now he's going to check on
Khetho. He's still juggling this
nonsense of his. I sometimes feel
sorry for him, he seems lost. But
everything will work out for
themselves, they do say
everything happens for a reason
right? So there's a reason why
this is happening to him and
something big will unfold in his
life. I feel so smart for saying
something so smart. You're smart
Nosi. I laughed at myself and
parked. Someone opened the door
for me and it was Thando
Thando: You took so long, I've
been waiting here since he called
you
Me: Hi, what's going on?
Thando: Nothing, we just missed
you and we're hungry.
She held my hand as I went inside
the house. Kwanele was chilling
with Kwenzo, I greeted and
kissed his cheek.
Me: Missed me?
Kwenzo: Yes we did
Kwanele: She's not talking to you.
I did miss you babe
Kwenzo: Please cook something
very delicious
Me: I aim to please
Thando: I'm excited.
They followed me to the kitchen
and I started cooking with them
talking non stop and arguing here
and there. I now just understand
Thando, it's like she's a man stuck
in a womans body. She's beautiful
and has a very unique character.
She gets along really well with
her brothers yet she and Kwanele
argue more. He did say she is
snobbish and those traits keep on
showing bits by bits yet she isn't
bad at all. I sat there as I just
analysed them and their
relationship. It's a beautiful
thing, I sometimes wish I had
siblings. I wonder how we
would've been. Anyways, I had a
great upbringing and I have
nothing to complain about. It
would be nice if I'd have a sister
to call and talk long hours with
but I do have my friends for
that and I appreciate it. I'm
content and happy with how my
life seems to be turning out. I'm
looking forward to having many
great things happening in my life.
But it is said, there's always a
storm before light. There are
things I'll have to go through
which I am so not looking forward
to. It is all a part of life and a
part of growing up.

Insert 17
Funeka: Okay, wait noo, go
change. It's not you
Buhle: Plus it doesn't suit your
skin, this isn't the colour for you
Thando: I'm tired.
I don't even know why she came
because she hasn't been enjoying
this at all but Ntombi wanted
her to come so she did. It's the
tenth dress that Ntombi has
tried on and none of us seem to
agree on anything. She's more
confused and fussy more than all
of us combined. Who knew choosing
a dress for graduation could be
this hard? I mean surely its
worse when you have to choose a
wedding dress.
Me: I need coffee.
Good thing they offered coffee at
this store and I made myself
some and sat down. After 30mins
we were settled on three dresses
which she had to choose from.
Thando: To make things easy and
for me to get out of here, let's
get all three and leave. You'll
decide at home which one you
wanna wear
Ntombi: You're crazy, I cannot
afford all these
Thando: I'll pay. Let's just go
please, hey lady, we taking these
three.
Ntombi: But Thando
Me: Let's do as she says. Let's go
I was exhausted, I needed some
rest and I needed food. We've
been shopping all day long and it is
tiring because she doesn't know
what she wants. Thando paid for
the dresses and we drove to the
apartment only to find it already
invaded by monkeys which are
Vusi, Kwanele, Kwenzo, Ntethe,
Lwazi and Menzi. I sat next to
Kwanele and laid my head on his
shoulder.
Kwanele: You seem tired
Me: You have no idea
Kwanele: You won't go to work
tomorrow so you can rest
Me: No ways, I'm going to work
tomroow.
Speaking of work, it's been a
month since I stopped working
for Kwanele as his personal chef
but now I'm working at his
restaurant as a chef there. The
Head Chef has been teaching me
a lot more about being an actual
chef and I've been learning so
much more about food. To say
Kwanele was happy about my
decision of doing something more
than being his chef would be an
understatement, he was so
excited it was like he is the one
who will be working. I started
work immediately the next day.
He went to the restaurant that
entire week because I was there
and he wanted to check up on me.
Kwanele: I missed you
Me: I missed you too. I'll leave
with you
Our relationship has been a good
working progress. It has been a
wonderful learning experience so
far as I have been teaching
myself more about his life style
and how he goes about doing
things on a daily basis. It has
been more about knowing each
other at a personal level more
than just being friends. The
romance has been there and a
little bit of intimacy here and
there and it is not something to
complain about because we enjoy
each others company so much and
the level of personalities blending
first before we take the
relationship further has been
such a breeze. I truly appreciate
and love how things turned out
between the two of us, it's
almost two months now and it is
amazing.
Ntethe: We should go out after
Ntombi's graduation, have a mini
celebration somewhere.
Ntombi: Uhm, can we do it on the
weekend? I have to go home
with the parents that day.
Me: How about we have lunch,
then you leave with the parents
and then Saturday we do
something big then?
Ntombi: That's a good idea
Thando: Graduation ceremony is
on a tuesday right?
Simi: Yes
Thando: I have to fly to Italy
Tuesday afternoon so I'll leave
after lunch
Khetho: You have to be back by
Saturday
She nodded and we continued
talking about the preparations
for the day. The graduation is
next week and we still have a
little more time to prepare.
Me: Let's order something to eat
please, I'm starving so much
Khetho: You're not alone
Buhle: I'll order
Buhle, she's been around and it
seems as if she'll be around for a
while. I think its safe to say
Menzi has made up his mind and
has settled with Buhle. Their
relationship is beautiful but
weird, its a mix of two completely
different people and I sometimes
think too much of it since I know
where it really started and I
always add a third party to it
which is Khetho who seems
pretty content with her life and
she is a good friend to both Menzi
and Buhle. She does tell us
nothing has ever happened
between them since they kissed
about a month ago and that was
it. She told us Menzi wanted a
"goodbye" kiss in some sort of way
it was a goodbye of what they
had and a start of a clean
friendship. I still do see her
looking at Menzi a bit too much,
like a stare and I do see Menzi
staring at her yet they do
nothing about it. They are
respecting Buhle and she doesn't
see anything between them, she
doesn't have any attitude against
Khetho and they are quite close.
Someone who hasn't established a
little friendship with Buhle is
Funeka, they still argue here and
there and Funeka says she
doesn't think she is the one for
her brother. We tried to justify
that maybe she isn't and they'll
still just break up and he will find
the one but she spoke as if she
knew what Buhle and Menzi have
is a lifetime commitment. We
didn't comment any further
because she is her brother and
she knows more than we do.
Once the food came, we dished up
and I ate. Kwanele didn't want
any food because he was having
beers. I've noticed that he does
have alot of appetite changes, he
has times where he eats alot and
times where he doesn't want food
at all. After eating we chilled
outside and had our own
conversations while we played
music.
Vusi: Ntethe, have you booked the
flights?
Ntethe: Yes
Funeka: What flights?
Menzi: We're leaving tonight, we'll
be back on Tuesday.
Me: All of you?
Menzi: Yes, including Kwanele.
Me: Oh
He held my hand and squeezed it.
That's an apology. Kwanele, he
finds it hard to apologize even
when we have our stupid
arguments and he is wrong. He
never really says he is sorry,
verbally. He apologizes by
squeezing my hand or just making
me cum. I don't know whether it
is pride or he's just not used to
apologizing so I decided not to
apologize too.
Kwanele: Let's go home, I want
to be alone with you
Me: Let me grab the keys
I took the keys and drove his car,
we'll it has become my car. My Kia
has been parked in my garage for
a while now. I've been driving his
car to and from work and
wherever I want to go. We got
home, yes it's more of my home
now.
Me: Do you need anything?
Kwanele: I need you
I giggled and just walked to the
kitchen and got some water. He
went upstairs and I took off my
shoes and walked around. I don't
even know what am I doing. I
went upstairs and I found him
walking around naked.
Me: And why are naked?
Kwanele: You should be joining me
Me: No thank you
Kwanele: Take off your clothes
Nosipho Bilose, thats an order
I did as he said and I laid on the
bed. I know the drill. In a way,
our sexual encounters are
interesting. I laid on the bed on
my stomach and he closed the
curtains. He has this thing of
being in the dark and playing
music, he has a beautiful sexual
playlist.
Me: What's taking you so long?
Kwanele: Patience my lady. You
always say patience is a virtue so
practice what you preach.
He touched me all over, he does
this everything before he does
anything.
Kwanele: Turn around.
I laid on my back and he touched
my boobs and he stated kissing
them and sucking them. He
squeezed them and kissed my
neck. I was moaning a little and
he's hand travelled down to my
virgina and started playing with
my clit.
Kwanele: I love you
Me: I love you too
He hardly says he loves me.
Maybe he'll say it once a week but
its not an everyday thing.
He kissed me and held me closely.
He rubbed his manhood on my
virgina. It is the first time it
makes physical contact with my
virgina. The music was still on
playing Trey songs_ Inside. I was
enjoying it. He grinded on me
"My baby dear, this feeling here
Can't be described, but I'mma try
Nails in my back, grabbing your
ass
Grinding slow hearts beating
fast"
The music played as he inserted
his manhood in me and I shifted.
Kwanele: Stay still
He's shaft was big, he inserted it
in slowly, it was like my virginal
walls were tearing.
I moaned and he started
thrusting.
Deeper
Faster
Deeper
Faster
I called out his name as I was
loosing my senses. He was holding
me tightly with my legs around
him pulling him closely and
scratching his back.
He was groaning and holding me
tightly. Kissing my neck and doing
as he pleases with me.
"I'm going to cum Kwanele" I
screamed as I let it all go.
That didn't stop him
Kwanele: Turn around
I did as I was told and he
thrusted from behind. I was
holding onto the sheets.
Kwanele: Look at me
I turned my head and looked into
his eyes
"Sweat dripping off your body
onto mine
Ain't nothing better than when
I'm inside
She got her legs on my shoulders
Looking in my eyes
Not the bed or the sofa
Getting it in outside
Knew that you were scared
You ain't even want to try
But girl it's no surprise
Feels so good I'm bout to cry
While I'm inside"
The music played as we both
climaxed. My legs were shivering
and he was breathing hard on my
neck as I laid on my back looking
into his eyes. I know he can't see
me but he can feel my eyes on him
and the intensity. He grabs my
ass up so close while he inserted
his manhood in again. I was
shivering, loosing control and so
was he. We were in cloud nine, our
own world. Pouring each others
feelings and giving each other the
best experiences and sharing our
love through our bodies.
"Deep inside your love (Deep deep)
Deep deep deep up in deep inside
Deep inside your love
Deep inside your love"
The song said it all, he was deep
inside my love. Our love was
colliding and we were consumating
our love and taking our
relationship to a next level, a level
of divine intimacy.
We both reached climax again and
he laid next to me and I laid my
head on his chest.
Kwanele: Thank you
I nodded, I had no words at all.
All I wanted to do was be cuddled
up in his arms. That's were I felt
like I belonged, thats where I
needed to be.
Kwanele: Let's take a shower, I
need to go in an hour
Me: Can't you stay and leave
tomorrow?
Kwanele: Babe, I have to leave.
I'll come back, I really need to be
there.
Me: I understand you have to
work.
Kwanele: Don't be sad, I'll be back
before you know it. Now come,
stop sulking
I laughed at him and we went to
the bathroom holding hands. He
has made me feel more love for
him and I have to say, I'm falling
deeply inlove with him and I hope
I'm not alone in this.

Insert 18
After our mind blowing and
memorable first moment of
intense intimacy. He had to leave.
He gave me morning after pills
and I took two. It had totally
slipped my mind, while I was
driving him to the airport I
suggested we use condoms and he
totally disagreed with my
suggestion. So I will stick to
morning afters. I spent the night
at my apartment just sleeping
and thinking about him. I even
dreamt about what happened all
over again. I had an early
morning since the head chef
wasn't coming in today so I had
to be there early.
Khetho: Lift please, I don't want
to drive that car.
Me: He is just helping
Apparently there was an
argument after Kwanele and I
left, Menzi gave one of his cars to
Khetho so she will be able to drive
herself to and from work. They
fought so much, apparently Buhle
just sat there and didn't even say
anything. She wasn't angry nor
was she jealous. I just feel like
she knows about Menzi having
feelings for Khetho or maybe she
just didn't say anything as they
always argue and we are just all
friends so there's nothing much to
him giving Khetho a car. I feel
like its obvious now or is it
because I know everything.
We left and I dropped her off at
the mall and headed off to work.
I greeted my colleagues and went
to start. It is always busy here
and it is draining, I don't get time
to be my lazy self. I had to
manage everything especially the
meals.
Me: Please make sure we are all in
our rightful positions
Important people come in and out
of this restaurant and we have
to be presentable at all times to
keep up with The Zondi's
reputation. The day continued and
we were busy all day long. I was
exhausted and didn't even get to
go to lunch.
Me: Please go to table 7, I don't
see any waiter there
I went back to the kitchen,
juggling the kitchen and the
tables was just a headache. I
tasted the dishes the junior chefs
made and approved of some and
some weren't as they were
supposed to be.
Waiter: Mam, you're personally
called to assist table 7.
Me: Argh why?
Waiter: It's the boss's mother
Me: What? Shit okay
I was nervous, what was she
doing here and why did she ask
for me? Does she even know me?
Okay, I'm sweating.
I cleaned my hands and went over
to her table.
Me: Good day Mrs Zondi
MaZondi: Hi young lady, I asked to
see the head chef, where is he?
Me: I'm holding in for him today.
He is on leave
Her:l Oh he knows my meal. It's
fine, uhm just bring me water and
lemon.
Me: Yes mam
I got her water with lemon and
served her.
Me: Will that be it Mam?
MaZondi: Why do you look so
familiar? What is your name?
Me: Nosipho Bilose
MaZondi: Oh no I don't know you.
I might be thinking of someone
else
I nodded and left her there. My
heart was beating fast. Thank
God she doesn't know me, I feel
like it is too early for that. The
day went by as I was just busy
and hungry. I cooked food to take
home and packed it. I was going
to stay over at Kwanele's place, I
miss him so being in his house will
make me feel close to him. I
drove off to my place first and
the girls weren't there. I took
clothes for work tomorrow and
drove off to checkers and bought
myself some goodies. I drove to
his house and threw myself on
the couch. I went upstairs and
took a shower and went back
downstairs when I was done. I
only had a towel on and sat down
watching tv. I kept on hearing
footsteps but I didn't pay
attention. Probably the security
guards outside. I warmed up my
food and sat down eating. I kept
on hearing strange sounds and I
kept ignoring them until I heard
the door open forcefully. I stood
up and tried calling Menzi but it
went tp voicemail. I kept trying
to make calls but none were going
through
Me: Shit! I have no cell reception.
I ran upstairs and looked for a a
gun or something to protect
myself with but I couldnt find
anything. I went room by room
and found a baseball bat and I
took it and went downstairs.
Me: Who is there? If you don't
show yourself I will call the police
I heard chuckles and I was
irritated. Thugs just have some
nerve and no conscious at all. When
I got to the lounge three men
wearing black, bulking and tall
were standing there looking at me
Guy1: He has a beautiful lady
here
Guy2: We taking her.
Guy3: That wasn't part of the
plan, lady give us what we need
and we will leave
Me: What do you want?
Guy2: Just a few documents
that belong to Kwanele and Menzi
Zondi. That's all we need, show us
to his office
Me: I cannot do that
Guy1: Yes you can and you will do it
He took out a gun and I looked at
him. Dear God, what is going on
here?
Me: I will go to his office, follow
me.
I walked down the passage
feeling very scared. I tried
opening the door and it was closed.
Shit! What am I going to do now?
Guy1: It's locked, where's the
key?
Me: I don't know
Guy2: You're his girlfriend?
Me: Yes
Guy3: Does he love you?
Me: I'd like to think so
Guy2: We'll really know if he really
loves you or not. We're taking you.
Me: Am I being kidnapped?
Guy1: You can call it whatever you
want to. Dare scream or cause a
scene we will kill you without any
hesitation, now move
Me: Let me get dressed first,
what will people think if I'm
escorted by shady men in towel?
Guy1: Smart, now change
They followed me and stood there
Me: You will watch me change?
Guy2: Yes
I wore Kwanele's black tracksuit
and my sneakers. I said a little
prayer and left with these guys.
Guy2: Be normal
I nodded as they walked with me,
I looked around as we walked
down the drive way. There were
bodies laying dead there, all the
security guards were dead. Poor
innocent men were dead and I,
the innocent girlfriend is being
kidnapped because of Kwanele and
Menzi for what? I don't know
and I would like to know. They
put in a van and tied up my legs
and hands.
Me: You don't need to do that, I
won't scream
Guy3: I'm not taking any chances
They put a sock in my mouth and
covered it with ducktape.
It then kicked in, I've been
kidnapped.
What amazes me and shocks me
is that I haven't cried, I haven't
done anything dramatic and I
have accepted the situation I am
in. I don't know why am I being
kidnapped and what those men
have themselves involved in which
is now getting me involved and I
don't know where my fate lies.
Maybe I will not make it out
alive.
#Kwanele
Me: Ntethe, keep me posted. I
don't want anything going wrong.
I don't want any loose ends, this
is a big deal.
Ntethe: I'll get on it. I've sent a
few men to Thailand, we need
them there.
Me: Good, Menzi, keep your head
in the game
Menzi: I would keep my head in
the game if you would shut up.
Kwanele: Fuck you.
We were all stressed and arguing
about it wouldn't help anything. I
sat down as I wrote a few
documents. And listening to the
agents keeping me posted on my
audio systems. We were in Durban
but at our safe houses
underground. Meeting at the
airport a few days ago when Nosi
dropped me off was just a staged
thing so that the ladies will really
think we are out of town. Working
while seeing them and being at
home would be a risk and a
distraction, I wouldn't even be
able to work with Nosipho around
me. Just thinking about her gives
me goosebumps, something I am
not used to and haven't felt until
I met her. She is making me
happy and making me feel foreign
feelings. Thinking about her took
me back to the moment we had a
few days back, it feels like it just
happened today. What we had
wasn't just sex, it was love
making. Powerful passionate love
making which I've never had
before. Feelings were poured into
each other and that was a
confirmation of our love. She
seemed clingy afterwards but I
understood, I also wanted to be
wrapped around her all day and
night yet I had work to do.
Vusi: You have missed calls from
Nosi, she called two days ago and
then she never called again
Me: I guess she understands
that we're away on work and she
hasn't called. Anything else?
Vusi: Your mother has been calling
non stop
Me: Call her
He made the call and connected it
to my audio system.
Me: MaZondi
Ma: WeKwanele mfana wam(
Kwanele my boy) why didn't you
tell me she was this beautiful?
Me: Who?
Ma: Nosipho, I went to see her
Me: Mom! You'll freak her out
Ma: Don't worry, I didn't say
anything. I went to the
restaurant. I needed to see the
girl my daughters have been
talking about and my sons
girlfriend
Me: Thank God you didnt say
anything. I know how you are
MaZondi.
Ma: Your father will be proud of
you. Thank you my boy
Me: It's relationship not a
marriage Ma, we are not there
yet
Ma: Whatever, goodbye.
She hung up and I continued
working. We had been working so
much, it can be very tired but our
type of work is time demanding
and needs you to be focused and
attentive at all times.
Lwazi: Funeka wants to speak to
you, the girls are all on speaker
Me: Funeka
Simi: Kwanele, where is Nosipho!
Its been two days! She's no
where to be found.
My heart stopped for a moment
and digested what they were
saying. She is missing!
Me: Don't worry, I have her
locked in my hotel room. I couldn't
leave without her
They all said romantic goofy
things and I told them she was
fine and they shouldn't worry. I
ended the call and stood up, just
pacing around my station
Menzi: And then? Why did you lie?
Me: I don't want them to worry,
try calling her cellphone. Put me
on a call with mom
Vusi: Sure
My mom had said she went to see
her, maybe she is just in my house
there and she wants to be alone.
She would've told her friends if it
was so
Ma: You miss me already son?
Me: Mom, when did you go see
Nosi?
Ma: About two days ago, why?
Me: Nothing, bye.
I ended the call and it kicked in.
She's really missing. I made calls
to my security guards and no calls
were being answered. My workers
were on leave and no one could be
in the house.
Me: Call Simi
I was frustrated but I didn't
want to jump into conclusions yet
but right now, I know she is
missing. I told Simi to go to my
house and see what is going on
and not to mention anything to
the girls. She knows a bit about
my other life so if things aren't in
order, she will know how to
behave and what to do. After a
few minutes she called me, she
sounded terrified and she was
crying
Me: Speak!
Simi: There are dead bodies
everywhere. She... She's not here
Me: We're coming now.
Menzi: Fuck! Let's go
Ntethe: We have a job to finish
too, Vusi and I will remain behind.
The shipment is about to arrive,
we need to be here.
At times like these, I hate being
blind more than I do on a normal
day. Such things need me to
depend on someone because I
cannot go out there and go
searching for Nosipho, I cannot
see. I am angry, I am being
driven to wherever I need to go
and things aren't going in my
pace.
Me: Drive faster!!
Lwazi: You do know we're far
away. We still have another hour
on the road
I kept thinking about Nosipho
wondering if she was safe or not
and who had taken her and why!
She hasn't been seen yet, nor has
she made any tabloid letting
people know she is my girlfriend so
that wouldnt put her in danger.
No one knows about her, most
definitely my enemies. Something
must've happened
Menzi: I've organized security for
the ladies, they won't see them
though so they won't know
anything
Me: Good, thanks
Menzi: That's a first
He's right, we always argue when
we are in danger, heading up
something or on a mission. What
we specialize in is rare in South
Africa and lots of people in high
places wish to bring us down and
join our field but it has been
impossible thus far. We got to my
house and I stepped out
immediately, the smell on the
drive way wasn't good at all. The
smell of rotten dead bodies
Vusi: I'll call some guys to fix this
Me: There's no female body?
Menzi: No, don't worry she's not
dead.
Simi: Menzi you have to see this
She's still here. I want to see
whatever it is too but I cannot,
this is bullshit.
I could only hear voices and she
was speaking to some guys who's
voices sounded familiar. She told
them she's my girlfriend, bad
move. It was the CCTV footage
that they were watching. I was
still trying to pinpoint the voices.
Me: The Mavundla's
Menzi: Yes its them. She doesnt
seem scared
Me: She might be a snob at times
but, my woman is not a coward.
Get the guys ready, we need to
go.
These boys were pissing me off,
they were messing with the
wrong man in a wrong way. They
could've attacked me in another
way but taking my woman? Now
thats out of boundaries and that
is signing your death wish.
Insert 19
The drive to wherever they were
taking me was very long I ended
up falling asleep. I woke up when
they lifted me up and put a blind
fold over my eyes. Perhaps it was
for me not to see where they
took me. He took off the blind fold
and duck tape.
Me: finally
Guy1: I didn't say you should talk.
I nodded and tried sitting up.
Guy1: You've been obeying every
thing we say, so I trust you
won't be any trouble. I'll untie you
so you can sleep. I'll bring you food
soon.
Me: Thank you
Guy1: We don't want anything
from you so don't be scared, we
won't harm you.
Me: So I'll be an exchange, if
Kwanele gives you what you want
I get to go home?
Guy1: Yes, you're pretty smart.
And beautiful
Me: Thank you.
He left and came back after a
while, he was scratching his head.
Guy1: Okay, we don't have food
alreay prepared here and we can't
cook. We are also very far to order
something
Me: I'm not hungry, I hate
before you kidnapped me.
He nodded and locked the door. I
tried sleeping but I couldn't.
Atleast they will not harm me,
maybe just yet.
It had been two days, two days
sitting with these men whom only
one of them is nice. He said his
name is Ben, he brings me food
and books. I asked him why he
brought me book, he said girls
love books. I laughed at him and
explained how I hate books
Ben: You're a rare kind. I don't
blame you, I hated school to. I
dropped out when I failed grade
11
Me: I failed grade 11 too, I
repeated it. Worst year of my life
Ben: I couldn't go through that
at all.
We spoke alot and he was a nice
guy. Too nice for what he is doing
now
Me: Help me escape
Ben: I like you but I can't do
that. My brothers need this deal,
we all do. Its just sad a beautiful
girl like you has to be caught up in
this mess.
Me: What if your brothers kill me?
Ben: They will never do that.
They are good men, you will just
get us this deal and thats it.
Me: I hope you're telling the
truth
Ben: I wouldn't lie to you. And
how is it that a beautiful lady like
you is dating a blind man?
Me: A blind man doesn't deserve a
beautiful lady?
Ben: Thats not what I mean but
he can't even see you
Me: And that's whats special
about it. He loves beyond what
the eye can see. He genuinely loves
me without even seeing how I
look. He loves me for who I am.
Looks do not matter
Ben: They do, they really do
matter. I'd never date an ugly
girl
Me: Why not? You're ugly too
Ben: What?
I laughed at him and he smiled
Ben: You're bad at jokes.
Me: You're arrogant. Tell me,
what deal is it that you want?
Ben: You don't know what your
man deals with?
Me: No
Ben: You'll ask him once he finds
you. Its not my place to tell you.
I just sat there wondering what
is it that they want. I'm sitting
here being captured for
something I don't even know. I
don't even know when will he find
me. Is he even looking for me?
Its been two days, maybe he has
just moved on and doesn't care
that much about me. Maybe
these brothers will let me go soon.
#Kwanele
I felt so angry, what I feel is
beyond anger and they have
messed with the wrong person.
Me: Have you found their
location?
Vusi: No, I'm still working on it.
To say I was getting frustrated
would be an understatement. I
am very frustrated and I need to
have Nosipho right next to me.
Menzi: They were last spotted
kwaNongoma
Me: That's where their fathers
household is. Get the cars ready
Lwazi: We not sure they took her
there, it would be pretty obvious
Me: They want to be found. They
want in on the deal
Menzi: Are you sure? How do they
know about it?
Vusi: They've wanted to make
partner for a long time now, they
have what we want and we have
what they want. This is no
bloodshed war.
Me: You're right. Menzi, draw up a
contract
Menzi: You must be crazy,
Gagashe will kill us
Me: Rather I die than have Nosi
die for my wrongs.
Menzi: You're whipped.
Me: I know.
They laughed at me and I had
some whiskey.
Lwazi: Listen to this Kwanele
Me: What is it?
Lwazi: A voice message from
Phumla Mavundla.
It played and it was Nosi
laughing with another man, they
were speaking about relationships
and challenges in life. They
seemed to be getting along really
well. They started laughing and
then there were moaning sounds
Me: Switch this shit off!!
Lwazi: Your word sir. This voice
sounds familiar
Me: It's Ben, Benathi Mavundla.
Menzi: Don't overthink this, Nosi
would never do such a thing. She
loves you
Me: Why not? I mean I'm just a
blind man and he is a proper
normal guy.
Menzi: Stop being insecure. Let's
go
Me: Give me my gun Menzi
Menzi: Kwanele, you don't need it.
You only use it in emergencies.
Me: And this is an emergency, now
do as I say.
Menzi: I'm not doing that shit.
Menzi and I argue alot, he likes
protecting me and fighting my
battles just like I like protecting
him and fighting his battles.
We're both stubborn and we think
less and act more.
Menzi: You'll scarce Nosi off, we
don't want that. You just got her
and I'm sure you don't want to
loose her.
Me: I don't
Menzi: Good, now focus. As Vusi
said, this is no bloodshed war.
Let's go, the cars are ready.
I chose to listen to my brother
and let him lead me. He wouldn't
lead me astray. We went to the
cars and were driven to Nongoma.
We arrived after a few hours of
driving and I waited for Menzi to
follow me. I have to walk behind
him so I could be able to walk on
my own.
Vusi: These idiots are here. Let's
go in, no weapons.
They lead the way and we went
in.
Voice: You may sit
We sat down and I was getting
angry again.
Me: Mavundla
Phumla: Zondi omkhulu
Me: I believe you have what
belongs to me
Phumla: I believe so too.
Me: Where is Benathi? I'm not
hearing his voice
Phumla: He is with your girl, if
she still is.
Me: You do know you're playing on
the wrong territory. Do you wish
to bury your brother like you
burried your father?
I heard some shuffling, he
wanted to attack me.
Me: I touched a nerve right?
Phumla: This is not what we're
here for
My father killed his father in
broad daylight. They were there
to witness it, his father had
messed with my father for a very
long time. They were enemies who
were on war for many years until
my father killed his father.
Me: You're right, we're not here
for that. Bring her
Phumla: You will only get her if you
sign over 50% of your recent
dealing. I know the shipment
arrived yesterday and it hasn't
been distributed.
Menzi: You did your research but
you're crazy, you're not getting
50%. You're getting 15% and
that's it
Phumla: 25%
Menzi: You little boy, you don't
make demands
Me: 25% that's it. Give him the
contract
Vusi: Kwanele, are you sure?
Me: Don't worry, I know what
I'm doing.
Lwazi: Your call.
Phumla: Get Nosi and Ben
My anger just rose. This Benathi
is messing with me and I will deal
with him accordingly. She's hear,
I could feel and smell her
presence. She was standing next
to me. I reached for her hand she
removed it.
I'm in shit.
#Nosi
I could hear them speaking, I
heard his voice. He has come for
me. I listened to them talking
about deals and he gave them
what they want. Apparently
these guys are the Mavundla's
and they are enemies with the
Zondi's. They are in one room
because of me.
Ben: Thank God there are no
weapons, your boyfriend is a crazy
man.
Me: What do you mean?
Ben: Nothing.
Some guy came to call us and we
were taken to the dinning room
where they were all sitting.
Kwanele stood up when I got in
and I went to stand next to him.
He held my hand but I removed
mine. Seeing them standing there
made me angry, I'm in this
position because of them. Menzi
wasn't even looking into my eyes.
They are lucky I'm alive and not
harmed. They finished up their
conversation and we left.
Me: I'll go with Vusi
Kwanele: Nosipho
I ignored him and went in the car
with Vusi.
Me: Just because I chose to ride
with you doesn't mean I'm not
mad at you. Drive
Vusi: Nosipho
Me: That's my name
He saw that I was pissed off, he
sighed and drove off.
I woke up and I was in bed. When
did we even get gome? I went to
the bathroom and took a shower
then went downstairs. They were
all seating in the lounge watching
tv. The volume was loud for my
handsome man. I looked at him
and smiled, I'm still angry at him
so no smiling. I walked over to
the tv and switched it off. They
looked at me like little boys who
were in trouble.
Me: Start talking
Menzi: Sisteri
Me: I'm sisteri now Menzi? Why
was I kidnapped?
Kwanele: It's just people who
wanted something from us.
Me: Are you involved in shady
businesses? I know the deal has
to do with something shady. If it
wasn't I would've been dead by
now
Vusi: They wouldn't have killed
you.
Me: Because they are good men,
what happens when some evil
men kidnapp me and kill me? For
something I don't know about!
Kwanele: There won't be a next
time
Me: Take me home
Menzi: You won't tell the others,
you'll say you left with us and you
weren't missing.
Me: I will tell them everything
Kwanele: Then you're not leaving
this house.
Me: You will force me or kill me?
The door opened and some tall
dark guy walked in, he was scary
and they stood up and looked down
Them: Gagashe omkhulu
What is this? And who is this
guy?
Him: Start talking before I kill
you all.
I wonder what I've got myself
into. But I won't leave until they
tell me everything that is going
on.

Insert 20
This man stared at me while I
looked into his eyes too. Should I
also look down too? My anger
seems to be fading away due to
the fear of this man. He looked at
me and I finally obliged and looked
down. Lwazi hit my arm and I
looked at him
Lwazi: Greet
Me: Hello
The man just laughed and came
close to me.
Him: What's your name?
Me: Nosipho Bilose
Him: Sawbona MaNdelu, mina
nginguGagashe. Laba abafana
bami, ngizala uMenzi noKwanele.(
Hello MaNdelu, I am Gagashe.
These are my boys, my sons are
Menzi and Kwanele.)
Damn.
This is Kwanele's father? Why
doesn't he look old and stuff? He
is too handsome to be his father.
I looked down and laughed a little.
They looked at me like I'm crazy.
Argh, Nosipho, you truly just mess
things up. What are you laughing
at?
Me: I'm sorry, Sawbona Gagashe
omkhulu.
He shook my hand and told us to
sit down. He had his eyes on me
and it made me feel
uncomfortable. He is indeed a
scary man whom you are bound to
just respect without him saying
anything to you.
Gagashe: So no one is talking?
Vusi: Baba, singakuchazela(Dad,
we can explain)
Gagashe: Ngihlezi lana njeh
Vusimuzi ngilende incazelo(I'm
sitting here waiting for an
explanation) Why is it that there
was a contract drawn up giving
the Mavundla's a share in the
latest shipment?
Kwanele: We had to, they
kidnapped Nosipho in exchange of
the deal.
Gagashe: Nosipho huh? So she's
worth those millions we will loose?
Kwanele: She's worth more than
that Gagashe.
Gagashe: Come with me Nosipho
Me: What? Uhmm.. ahh okay.
I looked at Menzi and he nodded
in approval. I followed him as we
walked to Menzi's office and he
closed the door.
Gagashe: Who are you?
Me: I'm Nosipho Bilose
Gagashe: I know that already,
you're not answering my question
Me: What does your question
mean?
Gagashe: Who sent you?
Me: No one.
Gagshe: Who are you working for?
Me: Kwanele
Gagashe: Why did he risk millions
in order to save you?
Me: I don't know
Was it proper for me to say I'm
his girlfriend? Last time I said
that, I ended up being kidnapped
so I'm keeping that to myself. He
looked at me while he did some
paper work. Why am I here
again? He stood up and I followed
him back to the lounge. This man
is weird. He gave me papers that
came out of the printer and it
was information about me. Did he
just do some research on me?
Gagashe: So, who's girlfriend is
this?
Kwanele: She's mine Gagashe
Gagashe: Awu Syabonga
Ndodana( Thank you my son). Sort
this mess out, I don't know how
you'll do it but you'll do it. I don't
want the Mavundla's getting any
cent of my money. Otherwise you
will face serious consequences.
Ntethelelo, follow me.
Ntethe: Yeboh Baba( Yes father)
This man is hectic. When Ntethe
was back I went back to the
conversation that was left
unfinished.
Me: So?
Kwanele: Let this go Nosipho
Me: I'm not going to do that. I
need to know.
Kwanele: Let's go upstairs. We'll
have this conversation alone
I swallowed hard, I was nervous.
I know I won't be as brave and
commanding when I'm with him
alone. He pulled his hand out and
I held it and we went upstairs to
his room. I took off my clothes
and went to take a shower. I
finished up and laid on the bed
once I was dressed.
Kwanele: Explain this
He played a voice note and it was
Ben and I laughing. A minute
later it was moans and sex
sounds.
Me: I have nothing to explain, yes
we did laugh and have interesting
conversations but we didn't have
sex nor did he even touch me
sexually or kiss. Nothing happened
Kwanele: I don't want cheats
Me: So you think I'm cheating on
you? Stop being stupid. What
would I be doing here with you if
it is Ben that I wanted? I
would've stayed behind with him
Kwanele: Don't call me stupid
Me: I didnt say Kwanele you are
stupid, I said stop being stupid.
And you shouldn't accuse me of
such nonsense. It shows how
much you don't trust me. I won't
be with a man who doesn't trust
me
Kwanele: What do you mean?
Me: Take it however you want to.
Kwanele: You should learn how to
speak properly with me. Not this
nonsense of an attitude you have.
I understand you're still angry
with me but do not speak to me
anyhow. I am your man and you
should respect me like I respect
you. We're speaking like adults
here, not arguing. Do you
understand?
Me: Yes Sir
He laughed at me and took off his
clothes. He laid down next to me
and I laid on his chest.
Me: Talk
Kwanele: Why are you so
persistent and stubborn?
Me: I want to know what I'm
getting myself into.
Kwanele: I'm a legit businessman,
that you know. The deal was
about some business
Me: Kwanele, you're not good at
telling lies. Some business? What
business is that? If you won't be
honest with me than why are we
even doing this?
Kwanele: Fine! Get up and get
dressed. I suggest you wear a
tracksuit.
Me: Where are we going?
Kwanele: If you want to know
then you'll stop asking me
questions and follow my
instructions. Now get dressed and
let's go, I'm giving you two
minutes.
He seemed very serious and he
was still laying in bed. I quickly
got dressed and he was still in bed
Me: Stop playing with me, you're
still in bed
Kwanele: Go start the car,
preferably a black car so take the
garage keys too.
Me: Okay
I went downstairs and took the
keys and went to the garage.
They have so many cars, it is so
fascinating. I took a black
Porsche and parked it on the
driveway. I watched him as he
walked to the car.
Me: Damn this man is handsome.
He was wearing black chino pants,
black slim fit polo neck, black
shades and a black woollen hat.
He came in and sat down.
Kwanele: Drive
Gosh he is so commanding right
now and it is so sexy.
Me: Wait, I think I forgot
something
Kwanele: What is it that you'll
need Nosipho...
He cut him off by kissing him and
unbuckling his seatbelt.
I needed him.
I opened up his zip, and reached
for it.
All this while he was squeezing
my boobs.
I inserted it and started riding
That intense pleasure kicked in
Moans and groans filled the
atmosphere as I took him all in.
He held my butt up and slunted.
Thrusted so fast, I was loosing
it.
I couldn't hold it in. We both let it
go at the same time and I kissed
him and went back to my seat.
Kwanele: You should keep
forgetting things all the time.
I laughed at him and drove off
with him directing me. We reached
our destination and he held my
hand
Kwanele: You're making me weak,
I can't believe I'm doing this. No
woman has ever stepped into my
cave.
Me: There's always a first time
for everything.
Kwanele: You're the first and last.
We walked to the door and it was
a beautiful big house decorated in
black and a bit of silver.
Everything in here looked so
expensive and clean. I was afraid
to even touch. I saw a beautiful
vase which I couldnt resist.
I touched it and it fell.
Kwanele: It took a while, I knew
you'd drop something.
Me: I guess I had to mark my
territory.
Kwanele: Follow me
When he walks infront of me, I
can't help but try an imitate his
moves. The calculated steps, its
such a fascinating thing to look
at. We got into an elevator and he
touched my ass.
I was shocked
Well I didn't expect it.
Anyways, I held his hand as he
led me into something I've never
seen in my life before
Me: Wow
I stood there as he went to sit
on his chair near his desk. He
seemed so comfortable and
relaxed. Like he was in his
rightful place and I was just so
charmed by him. In all the glits
and glam surrounding me, my eyes
were only captured by him. I took
off my clothes and walked to him.
He was listening to jazz music. I
don't understand what he was
expecting me to do cause he just
went and sat there. I sat ontop
of him and kissed his neck. I took
off his pants and boxers and took
him in immediately. I had no time
for foreplay, I just needed him.
He held me so tightly and kissed
my neck.
Kwanele: I love you
Me: I love you too
I fall deeper inlove with him
when he says he loves me. It
brings me great joy.
I reached an orgasm and I stood
up. He stood next to me and bent
me over. I put my knee on the
desk and bent over. All I can say
is that, he hit it so good. I
wanted to pray
In tongues.
After we were done I sat on the
desk trying to catch my breath.
Kwanele: Of all the precious
valuable things in here you
wanted my dick
Me: It's more precious and
valuable
He laughed at me and sat down.
I poured him some whiskey then
got dressed.
Me: So how do you explain all this?
Kwanele: We deal with imports
and exports of jewels, mostly
diamond.
Me: Illegal imports and exports
you mean
Kwanele: Whatever you want to
call it, then yes. It does operate
illegally and makes alot of money.
It was started by my father and
his late brother, we work
internationally. We are the only
people who deal with such in
South Africa. The Mavundla's
have wanted to bring us down and
take over for a long time now.
Me: Why did they kidnapp me?
Kwanele: They wanted this
shipment. It will be gone in the
next two days.
Me: What will be done about the
contract you gave them?
Kwanele: I don't know yet but I'll
sort it out. So this is me, this is
what you didn't know about me.
Me: Why do you do this?
Kwanele: It's an empire my
father built for us, we were
brought up by the money we get
from this and this legacy will
move from generations to
generations.
Me: That means it will be Menzis
generation not yours
Kwanele: What do you mean?
Me: You don't want kids
Kwanele: Menzi's kids are my kids
so I'm cool with that.
Me: You're crazy.
Kwanele: About you, yes I am.
Me: So cheesy
He laughed at me and we
continued talking. There's just
something about him that makes
me feel so comfortable around
him. Like I'm just complete and I
don't have to be insecure about
anything or feel less of myself. He
accepts me as I am and that I
appreciate. I don't mind his illegal
dealings. Everyone has to hustle
and make a name for themselves.
It is always just your choice
whether you do it legally or
illegally at the end of the day, it
all needs hardwork and
determination. Nothing more,
nothing less. We all want the good
life and to afford anything and
everything, you just have to work
for it. It won't fall off from the
sky.
Kwanele: Come closer
Me: I am close
Kwanele: Not close enough
Me: You're getting clingy
Kwanele: Do you blame me? It's
not my fault that you're so
addictive
Me: It's not my fault either
I sat on him with my legs around
his waist. I hope this chair
doesn't break. I laid my head on
his shoulder and we were just
silent. It was comfortable silence.
Kwanele: I love you
Me: I love you too
Twice a day? I'm not lucky, I'm
blessed. I kissed his forehead and
he chuckled. Just touching him
and being in his arms is more than
enough. I feel on top of the world.
I wanna scream and shout and
let the whole world know that I
am inlove. I am inlove with
Kwanele Zondi!
Insert 21
Finally, we're all gathered
together looking smart and on
point. We were sitting at the
lounge waiting for the drivers to
get the cars ready. Today is
Ntombi's graduation and we are
all going. Well, it was supposed to
be two guests but hey, we pulled
a few strings and got what we
wanted. What was shocking was
seeing Thando in a tight long
dress and high heels. She has a
smoking hot body! She said she
wanted to show us she can rock
both looks and damn did she rock
the look.
Vusi: Let's go
The cars were ready and I
walked hand in hand with my
lover. We got into the back seats
and I laid my head on his shoulder
while he brushed my hand. We're
both very clingy and I want to be
around him all the time. And he
wants me around too, when I
wanted to leave and sleep at my
place, he didn't want me to leave.
It feels so amazing to be so
inlove and be loved. I'm happy and
content with my life. We arrived
and waited a bit so our seats
could be arranged. We were called
and we were ushered to our
seats. I was sitting in between
Menzi and Kwanele. Khetho and
Thando were between us and
they were very loud, they were
talking so much people were
staring. I'm still looking at
Thando, shocked, she truly
amazed me I've only seen her in
jeans and sneakers. Anyways, the
ceremony started and we weren't
paying much attention because
the person we came for wasn't
called out yet. When she and her
mates stepped forward we
started to pay attention. She
finally picked out a dress and it
wasn't even any of the three
dresses she chose the other day.
Khetho: She wore the dress you
bought
Thando: I knew she'd like it?
Me: When did that happen?
Thando: If you weren't a
stranger lately you'd know
Khetho: You've left us so you
won't be updated. Tell Kwanele to
update you
They have me nasty stares and
we laughed. Funeka said they are
jealous but she was also attacked
cause she's been with Ntethe
lately.
Me: It's not our fault that you
are single
Khetho: Who said we're single?
Buy the latest newspaper darling
I'm off the market
Me: What!
Menzi: What nonsense is that?
Khetho: Sssh they calling Ntombi
next
We stood up and clapped our
hands while cheering as they call
Nosipho. There was so much noise,
Lwazi even played a vuvuzela.
Where did he even get it?
Everyone was looking at us and
Ntombi was laughing. Surely she
just wanted to run away. I'd also
run away, these people are crazy.
Me: Guys sit down, you're
embarrassing Ntombi
Ntethe: They should know that
she comes from a crazy family.
Family, yes that's what we've
become. What we have is beyond
friendship and I hope it stays
that way. After the ceremony
was finished. We were given
refreshments while we waited for
the graduate. She was with her
parents, I went to greet them
and we had a little conversation.
Her mother is my mothers sister.
We went to the others after
telling so many lies to them so she
wouldn't leave with them.
Ntombi: You saved me
Me: As always
Vuyo: Okay!! Let's go, we have
alot to do.
Me: Which is?
Kwanele: You'll find out soon.
Whoever had plans will cancel
them.
We were driven to our apartment
and we had to pack then we went
to Simi's and Funeka's place so
they can pack to.
Me: Do you know where we're
going to?
Funeka: I have no idea.
Once we were finished we went to
Kwanele's place. I changed into a
short dress and went to sit next
to him.
Me: Should I pack for you?
Kwanele: Don't worry, it's already
taken care off.
Me: By who?
Kwanele: By Bonnie, she deals
with my clothes
Me: Maybe I should do it now
Kwanele: Why? You don't have to
Me: I want to. I can't have
another woman dealing with my
mans clothing
Kwanele: Territorial huh? Well
you'll do it from now onwards.
She'll teach you how I want
everything done then you'll look
for something else that she'll do
in the house.
Me: What do you mean?
Kwanele: Her working department
was my wardrobe and laundry so
since you'll do it. She'll need
something else to do.
Me: I understand. That's why you
have so many helpers, they each
have a specific task to do.
Kwanele: Yes, that creates more
job opportunities for unemployed
people.
Me: Smart. Now how much do you
pay them?
Kwanele: R20 000
Me: Each!!!
Kwanele: Yes
Me: Wow
He has money, he has about 15
workers in his house so that
means he spends about R300 000
everything month in just paying
them.
Lwazi: Let's go, we're off to Cape
Town.
Me: Awesome!!!!!!
I screamed and stood next to the
door. I was ready to just leave.
They laughed at me, Thando has
changed, back to her sneakers and
baseball t-shirts. She winked at
me and we drove off to the
airport. We were taken to a
private jet, the way Simi was
walking, it was like she owned the
world.
Me: You're feeling yourself
Simi: Sisters! We're in a private
jet. I have to feel myself.
Kwanele held my waist and kissed
my neck.
Kwanele: Come sit next to me, I
miss you.
Me: No way, I do miss you too but
I'll sit with my friend's.
Kwanele: But babe
Me: Nope
Khetho: She's with us now, you've
had her for too long. We're taking
her
Kwanele: Fine
Menzi left with him and I sat
next to Thando.
Me: Sooo, whats up?
Simi: Don't worry, we're saving it
for Cape Town. Right now, Let's
chill.
We sat doen having our drinks
while chatting about the latest
feeds on Instagram. We took
pictures
Simi: We look like rich kids
Funeka: You are a rich kid, you
just don't act like one
Simi: You're also a rich kid, I don't
get why you're not including
yourself
Funeka: Whatever
Khetho: Can we play some music?
I need music
Menzi: You need to stop drinking.
What do you wanna listen to?
Khetho: Anything baby, anything.
Me: Baby?
Menzi: I'm as shocked as you are
but I'm loving it anyways.
Vusi: Wooah I like that
Simi: Like what? You're a single
ass
Vusi: Fuck you
Kwanele: Babe, come here please
Thando: Yoh avutetema Kwanele(
you're such a cry baby Kwanele)
Me: Cela uyeke umuntu wam tuu(
please leave my man please)
I went to him and sat next to
him. Menzi and I swooped seats.
Me: What's wrong?
Kwanele: My eye hurts
I took a wet towel and took off
his glasses. I didn't see anything
in his eyes but I wiped them
anyways. He put his hands in my
boobs and laughed
Me: Really now?
Kwanele: I miss you
Me: I'll sit here till we land
Kwanele: Thank you.
Ntombi: Nosipho, come back!!
Me: I'm still busy
Lwazi: Leave the lovebirds alone,
they love each other and their
intentions are clear, unlike
someone I know.
Whoops...
What was that? We all just
remained silent and didn't
comment. What was Lwazi on
about? Okay, the girls need to
update me. Simi just drank and
put her shades on. Surely that
was meant for her. Khetho was
holding in her laughter, so was
Vusi.
Vusi: This trip will be very
interesting.
Ntethe: You can say that again, is
Buhle coming?
Menzi: No.
We landed, finally and cars were
already waiting for us. We went
to a beach house and I changed
into a bikini.
Me: Let's go swim!
Lwazi: You ladies can go, well see
you later.
Me: Why?
Kwanele: We have business to
take care off
Ntombi: When we are back,
business will stop
Kwanele: We will, don't miss me
too much Nosipho.
Me: I'll try
I hugged him and we kissed. The
girls dragged me and we walked
to the beach. We sat on the
beach chairs while we sipped on
champagne.
Me: So what did Lwazi mean
when he threw those words?
Simi: He wants a serious
relationship with me
Me: And so?
Simi: I don't want that. I don't
do serious relationships at all
Funeka: Why?
Simi: It's a long story
Ntombi: We have time.
Simi: I was once in a serious
relationship and it didn't work
out. It was bad, really bad and I
promised myself that I would
never put myself through that
ever again. Let's just say it was
a very abusive relationship, I was
young and naive. I stayed,
thinking he would change but he
didn't. If I didn't run away I
would've left in a coffin. I don't
want to go through that again,
I'm protecting myself and its
working. What Lwazi and I have,
this no strings attached is the
best. Its all I can offer and if he
can't accept that than so be it.
Me: I get you.
Ntombi: But how long will you be
forever holding onto that? I
mean, when will you try something
new, something different. You
won't always come across
relationships where they'll be
abuse. You need to move on in life,
we're all going to be hurt in
different ways. At the end of the
day, it is something we have to
go through in order to have your
heart and your mentality
prepared for your forever and
your happiness. He was abusive,
you get into a new relationship
with Lwazi he is a good guy and
he is what you've been needing.
You know what an abusive
relationship is like, if it happens
that Lwazi is also abusive you'll
be aware. You'll see the signs and
you'll leave. Don't keep looking for
those signs but they'll show
themselves. You'll continue living
your life trying to avoid what
you've been through? Keep on
living on what ifs? The way you
keep on doing things and the way
you're protecting yourself might
be fun but it is the most
dangerous thing ever. Just think
about it.
Funeka: I feel like we should
start paying you for these
sessions.
Simi: That's so true and you
should alert us when you're about
to go therapeutic on us. You just
leave me so confused in a
melancholic mood.
Ntombi: Have some wine
Me: And Khethokuhle? You're
calling Menzi baby now?
Khetho: I was just messing with
him. Plus I'll mess with him more,
don't warn me. I know what I'm
doing. I'm tired of just looking at
him and lusting over him
Funeka: Yes girl! You'll make him
more confused than he already is
Khetho: And that will be fun, plus
I'll be gaining from it. Just giving
Buhle a little fight for her seat.
Ntombi: That's dangerous
Simi: Hhayi yima Mrs Therapist(
Woah Mrs Therapist)
Ntombi: I wasn't going to
continue. I was just testing little
missy here.
She pointed at Simi and we
laughed. We continued just talking
with the girls and catching up.
Alot has happened which led to
Khetho deciding that she will play
side chick to Menzi and she will
remain that way.
Me: Now how will you act when
Buhle is around?
Khetho: Normal, if she suspects
something than it is her business.
Me: What if Menzi falls inlove
because he is close to that?
Khetho: That will be his choice.
Me: What if you fall inlove?
Khetho: He'll have to deal with
that too. It is all in his hands, he
created this mess.
Ntombi: How?
Khetho: He is attractive and he
made me be attracted to him so
he'll have to face the
consequences of his actions.
Funeka: Waze walithwala idombolo
wengane kaGagashe.
We laughed and continued catching
up. We didn't even swim but we
just chilled. I was getting tipsy
Me: Let's go, I miss my man
Simi: You are so inlove
Me: Its still the honeymoon stage
sweetie, I have to enjoy it while
it lasts.
Simi: You have to babes.
We went back to the beach house
and they weren't there.
Ntombi: I guess we're alone. Lets
party!!!
Me: Great idea!
We took out more alcohol and
changed into comfortable clothes
after showering. We planned to
sip on wine and watch tv while we
wait for these men who have
disappeared. We came for a
vacation not business. Plus I miss
my man.

Insert 22
After a long night of drinking and
laughing non- stop we ended up
falling asleep at the lounge. I
was the first to wake up and go
shower. When I came back
downstairs they were up and
making coffe plus breakfast.
Me: Good Morning good people
Them: Morning
Kwanele: Morning Buttercup.
I hugged him from the back and
kissed his cheek.
Kwanele: You showered without
me
Me: You were still asleep.
Thando: No morning session for
you.
Kwanele: Don't start T
Vusi: We are staying indoors till
12pm, then we have to be
somewhere. You ladies should be
ready for some fun activities. We
agreed and they didn't want to
tell us what activity we were
going to be doing. Khetho was
sitting on Menzi while having
breakfast, she kept on winking at
me. This girl is just something
else, I wonder what that head of
hers keeps on telling her. But if
she's happy with what she's
doing, than I'm happy too. One
thing you have to know about me
is that, I don't stop you from
doing anything you want to do. It
is your choice, your life, your
mistakes and your life lessons. I'm
not good at giving advice, I just
say what I wanna say, bad or
good and I'm done. I don't know,
maybe it's something that would
change along the way because
this type of friendship is new for
me. I've never been one to be in a
friendship circle, before I just had
people I know and spent time
with, they weren't really friends.
Simi: Should we bring bikini's for
this activity thing or gym gear?
Vusi: Bikinis
Khetho: Great!!!
I had already put it in my sling
bag so there was no need to go
pack it. We heard footsteps and
some gorgeous, tall, slim, very
beautiful white lady came in
carrying a bottle of champagne
came in.
Funeka: Damn, she's pretty
Me: You can say that again
Her: Honey, I'm home!
The guys: Shit.
She walked straight to Kwanele
and kissed him, he kissed her
back! Oh hell no! He held her
waist!
Damn no...
Kwanele: Ashley, hi.
Ashley: Why didn't you tell me
you're around. Babe, I had to see
by your car parked outside. I
missed you.
Kwanele: I thought you were in
the US
Ashley: I told you two nights ago
Kwanele: It slipped my mind.
Ashley: Okay babe, hey Menzi,
Vusi, Thando, Lwazi, Ntethe and
I don't know the others but hi.
They greeted her back, the only
people who answered was those
who she mentioned their names.
We were just looking at her. Mind
you, I was looking over the couch
with my leg hanging over it. I
had no strength to move, maybe
if I stand I'll just fall.
Ashley: Hi, my name is Ashley and
I'm Kwanele's girlfriend
Simi: Simi, Kwanele's friend.
Funeka: I'm Funeka, Kwaneles
sister.
Khetho: Khethokuhle, call me
Khetho and I'm his friend
Ntombi: The name is Ntombi and
I'm a friend too
I just sat there as she looked at
me. Was she waiting for me to
introduce myself? I mean, it is my
turn they've all introduced
themselves. I just looked at her
standing next to Kwanele, a man
I've fallen deeply inlove with.
Ashley: And you are?
Me: I'm Nosipho, Kwanele's cousin.
Vusi bursted out in laughter, I'm
sure he couldn't hold it in anymore.
That's just one guy who loves
laughing so much, he cannot hold
it in. We looked at him and he held
his hands high in surrender.
Vusi: I was just thinking of
something Nosipho said earlier.
Now hearing her talk reminded me
of it, it had something to do with
cousins, you know? Uhm okay
nevermind
Menzi looked at him like he was
going to kill him. I just wanted to
laugh too but I was irritated too.
Ashley: Its nice to meet you all,
you all dressed up. Where are you
going? Well wherever you're going
I'm coming with. I haven't seen
my man in a while.
Me: Oh you can join us, I'm sure
everyone doesn't mind right guys?
Them: Sure
Ntombi: I do mind
Me: Don't mind her, she's
naturally rude. You don't mind
right, Kwanele?
Kwanele:(Clears throat) Uhm no,
I don't mind.
Me: Great than, Let's leave. Do
you have a bikini?
Ashley: I live right next door, let
me go fetch it. I'll be back in two
minutes
Me: We'll wait, we have time.
She put her bag and went out.
Me: Bitch.
Lwazi clapped his hands and
looked at me.
Lwazi: Vusi did say this trip will
be very interesting.
Kwanele: Can we talk quickly
please Nosipho?
Me: I don't think we have
anything to talk about. Plus your
girlfriend will be here soon, we
better get up and go to the drive
way. Who am I riding with?
Ntethe: We're all riding together.
Let's go
We went out and got into the car,
we were in a H1 and we had a
driver. I sat next to Vusi and we
drove off.
"You okay?"- Vusi sent me a text
on whatsapp. We're sitting
together man, couldn't he just
whisper?
"I'm calm."- I responded
"I'm sorry."- Vusi
"You're not at fault."- Me
He nodded and we continued
talking, verbally now. I guess he
wanted that part of our
conversation to be private.
Kwanele was terribly silent and
Ashley kept on going on and on
about her stay in the US. Some of
the things she was talking about
were interesting and some were
just boring and unnecessary. We
got to our destination which was
kept a secret and we were
blindfolded. Vusi was holding my
hand and in a way I didnt feel
safe at all. I wanted to be held
my Kwanele. Funny how I trust a
blind man to lead me somewhere
as I'm blind folded so we're both
blind, more than a man who can
see with both eyes to lead me. I
guess I just feel safe around
Kwanele, he is my safe heaven. My
safe heaven that has
disappointed me, I won't say I'm
heart broken, that I'll cry all
night and argue with him. I don't
know, if its because I expected
something like this as he did warn
me about it and I knew he hasn't
broken up with his previous
people. I had hope, just a little
hope that he has, that I'm
worth that little much to him. Or
maybe it came too soon? Maybe I
expected it a little later on? I
don't know and most of all, I don't
know how I feel. I'm just calm.
Vusi took off the blind fold and I
screamed.
Me: No!! No, no way. Get me off!
Vusi: What is it?
I was breathing heavily. I'm
having a mini panic attack.
Ntombi: Maybe you should've told
us about the surprise. She's
scared of yachts, she's afraid of
being this far of the sea. She's
afraid of heights and she hates
animals, especially pets. She's
scared of alot of things.
We were on a yacht and it was
about to move. My legs were
shaking, a phobia isn't cool at all.
Let's just say my phobias are
extreme and I have panic
attacks.
Ntombi: Nosi, breath.
I tried but it wasn't working.
I felt him, the shivers all over my
body as he held me.
His hands moving up on my arms.
He came closer and held me closer.
Kwanele: Breath, in and out.
Count your deep breaths from 1
to 10. Relax Nosipho
I did as he told me and it was
calming me down. I opened my
eyes and I continued with the
breathing exercises.
Kwanele: Feeling better?
Me: Yes
Kwanele: Sit next to me.
Ashley: What? No
I held his hand and we sat down
together. Ashley looked like she
was going to throw a fit and I
didnt care.
Ashely: Babe, I came here so I
can spend time with you. I'm your
girlfriend and she must move.
Kwanele just kept quiet and
brushed my hands.
Ashley: Say something Kwanele!
Kwanele: That's where you're
getting it all wrong Ashley. She is
my girlfriend, not you. She's more
than just a girlfriend, she is my
life partner. She deserves to be
next to me at all times, not you.
Ashley: What the hell! She said
she's your cousin. What are you
talking about? Are you breaking
up with me? Are you leaving me
for her? Open your damn eyes,
I'm way better than her!
Kwanele: I can open my eyes but
I won't be able to see. And stop
shouting, your voice is suffocating.
Ashley: What did you just say?
Kwanele: Shut up and listen, I
won't repeat myself.
She was silent and angry
Kwanele: Good, now as I was
saying. I can't see, even if I could
it wouldn't make a difference. My
heart is with her and I don't
need my sight to confirm that.
Its up to you, you'll sit and enjoy
this activity with us or you'll
leave.
Simi: Hlala phansi wenaAshley
ulahliwe, Yiza ngikupholise
amanxeba( Sit down Ashley you've
been dumped. Come let me heal
your wounds.)
Lwazi: Sukhuluma udoti wena
Simlindile( stop talking trash
Simlindile)
He was annoyed and they just
laughed at him. Ashley didn't
seem to understand much but she
sat down and drank wine.
Vusi: Okay, this yacht can move
now.
Kwanele: Just breath and don't
think about it. It can be easy to
get over a phobia, it's all in your
head. If you keep thinking about
it and telling yourself you're
scared of something, you'll always
be scared of it.
Me: I get you
Kwanele: We'll talk later. Don't
think about about what
happened today and enjoy. Stand
up and enjoy with the others, I'll
sit back and relax here.
Me: I can sit with you
Kwanele: No, I won't let you. I'm
sure there's alot to see here and
it is a beautiful view. I can't see
so you need to look and take in the
experience for the both of us.
Me: Okay.
Kwanele: Am I getting a kiss or
being in trouble doesn't come with
it?
Me: You don't deserve one right
now. You're in the hotseat Mr
Zondi
Kwanele: Fine, I'll take that.
Me: Good.
I stood by Funeka and he had her
arm over my shoulder and we
stood there just looking at the
sea. The sea breeze was so
refreshing and it was peaceful. No
one was talking all we heard was
the beautiful sounds of the ocean
waves.
Simi: I'm scared of falling
Me: You won't fall.
Simi: I'm scared of falling inlove
again
Oh, she should've finished up her
sentence and didn't pause. She
was looking deep into the ocean.
She seemed to be in deep
thoughts.
Simi: Its just me protecting
myself and protecting my hurts.
We're a broken generation, filled
with broken hearts and we move
on to break the next rather than
healing the next heart. That's
just how it is, no one can fix us
but us. No one can fix me, but
myself. No one. They say you've
healed when you tell your sorry
without crying, what if you didn't
cry from the first place? What
happens then?
Vusi: You move on, you move on
from the pain. You move on from
the heartache and you break all
the walls you've built thinking
you're protecting yourself yet
you're only destroying yourself
more. Most of all, you move on
from the past. The past is there
to be a life lesson and the future
is for you to do things differently
and not stay stuck in the future.
Simi: I'm scared
Thando: It's okay to be scared.
We all are, I'm scared of coming
out to the world about my
sexuality. It's something common
now days, but we come from
different homes and different
environments. We won't all get
accepted for who we really are. I
mean, I might even be disowned,
I love my family, my parents, I
can't loose them over my
sexuality. But how long will I live
a double life? How long will I be
hiding behind something that I'm
not? How long will I be scared? I
am scared.
Ntombi: I am scared. I am scared
of change. Alot seems to be
changing in my life lately. Things
are taking an unexpected turn, I
mean even I never thought I'd
be where I am now. This change,
is it a permanent thing or a
passing phase? I am scared I'll
loose myself along the way, but
what if I am meant to loose who
I was and who I am used to so I
can be who I need to be and be
the best version of me. This
thing of self discovery? What is
that? Whatever it is, its a scary
turn in life. I am scared, scared of
change.
Ntethe: When is the right time?
How do you know that this is it?
How do you know you're content in
your life and this is what was
meant for you? I am scared of
not knowing what the future
hold. I know its something
inevitable, no one knows. I am
scared of taking a leap of faith,
what if it all turns back right at
my face. What do you do then?
These stages we go through in
life, they are scary. And not
knowing, is the scariest.
Khetho: I am scared. I am scared
of the future. In a way, I'm still
stuck in the past too. I mean, its
acceptable for now right? But
when do the scary nightmares go
away? When do you heal and be
you again? I'm scared I've lost
who I am. I'm scared of
depending on someone and I'm
scared of not being me. I need me
and no one else but that also
scares me, everyone needs
someone. They say keep taking
time to yourself until you are you
again, when will you be you again?
Confusion, its scary.
Ashley: I'm scared of not finding
that missing piece. I don't know
what it is, I don't know how to
find it and where to even start
looking but I know its missing. I
have most of the things I need,
I've travelled looking for it but
its just not there. They say
whats meant for you, will find you.
But what if it doesnt? What if
its lost along the way and it
doesnt find you? What do you do?
I'm scared, I'm scared of being
incomplete.
Vusi: I'm scared of not being
vulnerable. I don't know if its
something I'm not born with. I
don't know why I never take
things to heart and be able to
show my true emotions. I get
hurt but I don't get hurt. I
don't know what it feels like to be
emotional and express your
feelings. I'm scared of not being
vulnerable.
Lwazi: Rejection, I'm scared of
rejection because it cuts really
deep. I am scared of being
rejected, especially for the first
time. But they do say there is a
first time for everything. I am
scared of rejection.
Menzi: I'm scared of taking the
wrong decision. Which one is right?
When you're stuck in the middle
and you can't seem to know which
is which and which is meant for
you? What if my heart leads me
to choosing what isn't mine?
Which do I listen to, the heart or
the mind? How do you make the
right decision? I am scared of
taking the wrong decision.
Funeka: I'm scared of not knowing
what is expected of me? I am
scared alot is expected from me
and I don't know if I'll be able to
reach everyone's expections of me.
I'm scared I won't be able to
reach the expectations I have of
me. I am scared of not knowing
what is expected of me.
Me: I am scared of not being
scared of anything besides snakes,
heights and oceans. I am scared
of how quickly I just give in and
take chances. I am scared of
believing so much in just taking a
leap of faith and letting things
just fall into place. I am scared of
how I accept that pain, rejection,
not being enough, not knowing
what is expected of me, not
knowing when is the right time,
not finding the missing piece, not
being vulnerable, not knowing if
its the right decision or not,
accepting change,being stuck in
the past, not being accepted for
who I am and not being me is just
a part of life. I am scared of
adapting so much to situations
and accepting things as they are.
I am scared of not being scared.
Kwanele: I am scared of not being
good enough.
Funeka: Thats it?
Kwanele: I won't say long
sentences and explain if thats
what you're looking for. What
I've said is enough and pretty
much all the explaining it needs. I
am scared of not being good
enough.
I sat next to him and laid my
head on his chest.
Ntombi: That was intense
Ntethe: You can say that again.
Khetho: Let's make a toast.
We took our glasses and raised
them up
Khetho: A toast to being scared
and taking this journey of life
with our heads held high like we
ain't scared of nothing!
We toasted and drank our drinks.
It was just a chilled vibe. The
day had an unexpected turn and it
was a good one. It was
something we needed and it
expressed and showed sides to
ourselves that we didn't know. It
was different and heart warming.
I didn't expect Ashley to partake
in this but I'm glad she did, we all
need to just forget about other
things and just talk. Maybe it
helped her in a way. It helped all
of us. We all need to let go and
talk sometimes. Keeping things
bottled inside isn't always the
greatest choice. Speak, let it go.
You need it.

Insert 23
After the beautiful day we had
from the yacht to sky diving,
which Kwanele and I didn't
participate in, and many fun
activities that followed on the
next days of our trip we were
back to Durban, back to our
normal lives. Ashley did stay with
us for the rest of the trip and
she was just okay. I don't know if
we'll have a friendship with her
or not but I doubt it will happen.
She was good company, no hard
feelings. Kwanele and I, well lets
just say I've been giving him time
to think about what he wants.
Nothing happened at the trip, no
kisses, no sex, nothing. We were
just acquaintances. I made it
clear to him that I won't stick
around and wait for the next and
the next girl he is involved with
to show up and I'll be the one
who gets hurt. I won't settle for
that so he will know what he does
and tells me if I'm worth that
little much. I wasnt all dramatic,
by dumping him and not answering
his calls, I answer and we talk
but he knows where we stand. He
hasn't brought anything up yet,
so I don't know what he is
deciding. He came to my work
place this morning and he's been in
the office all this while. I don't
know why he came cause he
hardly comes here. The staff
don't know that we're an item,
most people don't know and I'm
happy with that. If he wants
people to know he'll say so and if
he doesnt than thats okay too.
He is a well known man so he's
status and reputation matters.
He hasn't been seen with a
woman who is romantically
involved with him and he hasn't
made the newspapers about that
and if he wants to keep it that
way, I'm happy about it.
Waiter: Miss Bilose, you're called in
the bosses office.
Me: Okay thank you.
I finished up the dish I was
making and washed the dishes I
was using. Its not really my job
to do that but I just wanted to
delay. I went to his office and
Menzi stepped out when I got in.
I sat down and faced him.
Kwanele: You took your own time
Me: I was still busy, someone has
to keep this place running.
Kwanele: About that, I want you
to step in as manager here. I'm
taking Tino somewhere else. You'll
be manager from now onwards.
Me: Okay, thank you. Will that be
it?
Kwanele: Yes it is.
I stood up and when I was about
to open the door he called me.
Me: What do you want?
Kwanele: Come sit on my lap
Me: I don't want to
Kwanele: Just come Nosipho, don't
fight this.
I rolled my eyes and went to him
and sat on his lap. I missed him
Kwanele: Why are you mad at me?
Me: I'm not mad.
Kwanele: I'm sorry Nosipho
Me: What are you apologizing for?
Kwanele: For getting into this
relationship without cutting ties
with the people I was involved
with. I know what I did was
wrong and I should have dealt
with that first and then pursue
this relationship with you. I
respect you and appreciate you, I
don't want it to seem like I took
this for granted and with that
said, I'm sorry Nosipho. Forgive
me, please
Me: I forgave you a while ago. I
just wanted you to realize your
mistakes and do something about
it. For you to see my worth and
know that I will not settle for
less. I hope we won't find
ourselves in this situation again
Kwanele: I hope so too
Me: Not the answer I was looking
for but I can work with that.
Now let me go work, I have a
restaurant to run
Kwanele: Stay for just an hour.
Me: Not happening, and you need
to go to work. I know you just
came by here just for me
He laughed at me and we kissed.
He held me tightly and groaned, I
missed him. I missed kissing him
and being in his arms.
Kwanele: I missed this. And I
miss her
He touched my honeypot and I
moaned.
Kwanele: Will you come over
tonight?
Me: Yes
Kwanele: Good.
We kissed again and he told me he
had to go for a meeting. Funny
how he wanted to stay here for
an hour yet he has a meeting to
attend to.
Kwanele: I love you Buttercup
Me: I love you too pickle
Kwanele: Really now?
Me: You gave me a petname so
I'm giving you one too. Now bye
before anyone gets suspicious.
I walked out the office and went
back to work. My phone has
several missed calls from Khetho.
I called her and she told me she's
on her way here. She's gladly
using the car Menzi gave her and
she seems to have everything
working out with this relationship
they have. Indeed she was here
in a few minutes and we sat down
and she orderd food.
Me: So why were you blowing up
my cellphone?
Khetho: Why weren't you
answering your phone? You were
busy blowing Kwaneles something
something.
Me: No I wasn't.
Khetho: But you were sucking
each others throats.
We argued about it till I gave in
cause she was convinced I was up
to no good with Kwanele. She saw
him when she came here and she
says he had a boner. Why was she
checking that out? I don't know!
Me: Stop checking out my mans
private area
Khetho: Its not really private
when its big and out there.
Me: Shut up.
Khetho: Well I came here because
we have a meeting tonight at
the apartment and it is
important, you cannot miss it.
Me: What is it about? I had plans
for tonight
Khetho: Well cancel, Kwanele can
survive one night without you.
Its really important and you have
to be there. Funeka will fly down
here from Mpumalanga so that
should show you how important
this is.
Me: Why is she in Mpumalanga?
Khetho: She was sulking saying
she misses Ntethe so she went
with him to his business meeting.
Me: Okay, I'll come. I'll pass by
Kwanele's first then come for the
meeting. Happy now?
Khetho: Don't be late
Me: I won't.
She finished up her food as I
went back to work. I kept
wondering what the meeting is
about. I knocked off early and
called Kwanele
Me: Where are you?
Kwanele: My office
Me: Okay, I thought you're home.
I'll see you tomorrow, I'm sorry I
can't come today
Kwanele: Come to my workplace
and we'll discuss this. I'm not
happy
Me: I won't come there
Kwanele: Nosipho, just come.
Me: Fine.
I drove to his workplace and I
was just nervous about this. I
got to the receptionist and she
was too beautiful for my liking. I
mean, the woman in this building
are all just beautiful, they are
around my man all day, I'm
jealous.
Me: I'm here to see Mr K. Zondi
Her: Do you have an
appointment?
Me: No but its urgent. I'm a
family member, his cousin to be
more specific. Its a matter of life
and death.
What a lie.
She nodded and made a call.
Her: Your name Miss
Me: Nosipho Bilose
Her: He says you can go through.
I nodded and she took me to his
office. It was like his sacred place
that he took me too. It was well
furnished and decorated using the
colours black, grey and white.
There was a door on the left
leading to another small office. A
young beautiful lady came out and
she greeted then she left.
Me: She's cute, who is she?
Kwanele: P.A
Me: You work around beautiful
woman...
Kwanele: Really? Okay
Is that all he's going to say? I
cleared my throat and he stopped
what he was doing.
Kwanele: Are you jealous?
Me: Maybe.
Kwanele: Why? It's not like I can
even see them so I don't get why
you're jealous.
Oh.
He had a point but still.
I'm jealous
Kwanele: It's cute though, that
you're jealous but you really don't
have to be. It still hurts me
that I can never see how
beautiful you are, but I trust
the image I have in my
imagination. You're beautiful
Nosipho.
I was so charmed, I couldn't stop
smiling. If only he could see my
smile. I do sometimes wish he can
see but I'm wishing for the
impossible. I went over to him
and sat on his lap with my legs
around his waist.
Me: I love you Gagashe
Kwanele: I love you too MaNdelu.
Now, why aren't you coming over
tonight? I'm still being punished.
Me: No but I have a meeting to
attend to. I don't know what its
about but Khetho said we have a
meeting
Kwanele: I wasn't told, I'm sure
Menzi doesn't know about it.
Me: It's just us ladies
Kwanele: Don't get naughty, with
Simi around, she can get
strippers.
Me: She wouldn't do that. Plus it
sounded serious so I have to be
there.
Kwanele: What time does this
meeting start?
Me: Maybe 6pm
Kwanele: You still have 2hours,
alot can happen in two hours Miss
Bilose.
He said that as he was
unbuttoning my shirt and he
kissed my neck
Me:(giggles) We're in your office
Kwanele, this isn't professional
Kwanele: My building, my company,
my rules. So this is very
professional in my world.
Me: And what if someone walks
in? They'll see you having sex with
your supposedly cousin
Kwanele: And why are you keeping
this cousin story up?
Me: Just
Kwanele: You're not my cousin,
you're my girlfriend and that's
final.
Me: I know
He kept on fidgeting under his
desk till he pressed a purple
button and the office was dark,
immediately. The blinds were
closed, door seemed to be locked
and it was fascinating, well I was
impressed.
Me: You seem to have everything
sorted?
Kwanele: And you can scream as
loud as you want, soundproof is on.
Menzi knows my needs so he took
care off my office being designed
specifically for my needs.
Me: So there has been other
woman here?
Kwanele: Yes.
I kept quiet and let him have his
way with me. I was a little hurt.
We made love till we were on the
floor breathing heavily trying to
catch our breaths.
Kwanele: Thank you, that was
amazing.
I laid on his chest while playing
with his little nipple well its a
pimple to be exact.
Kwanele: Nosipho
Me: Kwanele
Kwanele: You do know you didn't
get into a relationship with a
virgin right?
Me: Yes
Kwanele: So you know there has
been woman before you that I've
slept with in numerous places
such a my office, my hotels,
apartments and my house. If you
feel as if you're unhappy with
that and uncomfortable with it
you can tell me and I'll see what
I can do about it. I can even get
a new office, hotel and house if it
makes you happy. Just talk
Me: That's unnecessary Kwanele
Kwanele: I don't want you to keep
feeling jealous and hurt about
unnecessary things.
Me: I'll stop
Kwanele: Good then, now kiss
daddy.
Me: I have my own father, thank
you very much.
He laughed at me and I kissed
him when he least expected it.
That was a good and bad idea
because it turned out to be a long
session of love making which I
enjoyed very much but I ended up
being late.
Me: Kwanele! I'm late now and
you're not even getting dressed
yet.
Kwanele: We could stay here all
night
Me: This is your office not your
house plus I have a meeting to
attend to. I'm leaving
Kwanele: I'll miss you
Me: I'll miss you too now bye
I kissed his cheek and tried
opening this door but it was
locked.
Me: Open this door Kwanele
Kwanele: You can say please, it
won't hurt.
Me: Please
He had a mischievous smile on his
face as he walked to me with his
hands in his pockets. He looked so
sexy
He held my waist and kissed me
while pinning me to the door.
Me: Kwanele I really have to go
Kwanele: I know.
He said that as he entered inside
me again, I shouldn't have worn a
skirt, it gives him easy access.
Me: Kwanele!!
Kwanele: You could've just said
please
I was holding onto the door
handles for dear life. This man
was penetrating hard and deep,
hitting every vaginal wall and
making my knees weak. After a
few minutes we both reached our
destination and we got dressed.
He opened up and I literally ran
out. His PA was still here and she
gave me a judgemental look
Me: What are you still doing here?
P.A: I leave when he leaves
Me: Mmmh.
The drive back to the apartment
seemed longer today, I was
getting close to being an hour
late. When I parked, they were
standing by the door.
Khetho: I knew you'd be late.
Me: Sorry, I got delayed at work
Simi: Work huh? This job of yours
tares your buttons and makes you
wear your skirt inside out?
Shit!
That's why the P.A gave me a
judgemental look.
I look like a mess.
Me: Leave me alone
I took a shower and got dressed
in my pyjamas, we're at home, we
don't need to be formal for this
meeting thingy.
Me: Do we have food here?
Funeka: Yes we do
We sat down and dished up.
Ntombi: So what is this meeting
about?
Simi: I would also like to know
Khetho: I want us to open a
campaign, we'll all be handling it
together and we all own this
organization. Basically its us
starting something like an NGO.
What we do is help woman in need,
woman who are being abused,
woman who have been raped,
beaten up, need homes etc.
Starting from kids to teenagers
to old woman, its all about woman
empowerment. We help them
escape whatever problems they
are going through, help them look
for jobs and be a better version of
themselves.
Me: We can even help woman who
are addicted to drugs
Khetho: Yes.
Funeka: I like the idea, I really
do.
Me: So do you have a name for
this campaign?
Khetho: No, I just had this idea
only.
Simi: We can call it The Woman
Drive.
Me: Thats a good name.
Ntombi: We have to get busy now,
we need to draw up our business
plan. Jot all our ideas down and
get working
Me: I'm excited
Funeka: Me too
We spent the night drawing up
the business plan and looking for
companies that can sponsor us
and our ideas were really great
and it was a project we were all
looking forward to doing. It was
something that seemed really
hard but it will be possible. I got
a call from Kwanele
Me: Babe
Kwanele: Why aren't you sleeping?
I always call at this time and you
never answer
Me: We're still up, the meeting
remember.
Kwanele: A meeting that's
keeping you up till 1am? Well I
was just checking up on you. Go to
sleep, you have work tomorrow.
Me: Yes boss
Kwanele: Don't start.
I ended the call, I'll be punished
for that. I'll enjoy the
punishment anyways.
Me: So when are we starting
this?
Simi: As soon as possible, we need
to type and print this business
plan tomorrow and start setting
up meetings with our potential
sponsors.
Khetho: This seems harder than
I thought it would be.
Funeka: I don't think starting
something big like this is a childs
play. We need to focus
Me: I'm nervous already.
We all seemed scared about the
step we're about to take but we
had hope, hope that everything
will work out because not only are
we doing this for ourselves but
we're doing it for every woman
out there. What we're about to
do will save lives and change lives.
It will impact other people's lives,
allowing someone into your life to
help you especially after you've
suffered for a long time isn't
easy, we have walls to break and
challenges to face but I hope
everything works out. We hope
The Woman Drive will be a
success.
Insert 24
Me: Pickle!! Where are you?
I've been looking for him around
this house but couldn't find him.
He wasn't even responding. See
this game of hide and seek he's
playing isn't cool. I even looked
outside but I can't see him. I
know he is home because all he's
drivers are here and they said he
is home. Only Mr M isn't around. I
went to his office, which is always
locked but I'm just trying my luck.
First thing I saw was him laying
on the floor
Then blood
I panicked
Me: Kwanele!!
Kwanele: You were screaming
pickle just a minute ago. You're
annoying
Me: What happened!?
He was so relaxed yet he was
bleeding.
This guy.
Kwanele: Relax, it's just a knee
cut.
I went to get a first aid kit and
treated his cut, it was really a
small cut for so much blood.
Me: You bleed alot
Kwanele: I know
Me: So what happened?
Kwanele: I missed a step and fell
Me: Are you okay? You never miss
a step.
Kwanele: I do it's just that
you've never seen me miss a step.
It usually happens when I'm
tired, not feeling well or
distracted
Me: Which on is it now?
Kwanele: The first two.
Me: Let me help you up
Kwanele: I think you should call
Menzi, I don't think you'll be able
to carry me.
Me: I won't carry you, you'll walk
on your own and I'll assist you now
hold my hand.
I took his arm, put it over my
shoulder and tried picking him up.
He is heavy
I stopped and took a deep
breath.
Me: You're sweating
Kwanele: I told you I'm not
feeling well.
I tried again and I managed. He
was limping, there was no way
he'll walk normally with his normal
calculated steps he uses on a daily
basis. I had to assist him and
lead him to the lounge.
Me: Finally!
Kwanele: I'm feeling cold
Me: I should've took you to bed
Kwanele: No, I'm okay here.
I took a blanket and covered him
up, took a warm wet towel and
wiped off his sweat. I don't get
why he is sweating yet he is
feeling cold.
Me: I'll make you some soup
Kwanele: Thank you, so how did
the meeting go last night?
Me: It went well. It was actually
about something very serious. We
starting a campaign, we'll call it
The Woman Drive.
Kwanele: Sounds interesting, tell
me more.
I was cooking while I was telling
him about it and he listened
attentively.
Me: So basically what we do is
help woman. We've set up the
business plan and we're now just
looking for sponsors and we've
been setting up appointments so
hopefully everything will work in
our favour.
He sat up so quickly and he winced
Me: What is it?
I quickly rushed to him and laid
him back.
Me: You're getting worse and
you're busy hurting yourself
Kwanele: Did I hear you correctly
when you said you're looking for
sponsors?
Me: Yes we are
Kwanele: Call the ladies, I want
them here in 15mins. Call the
gents too
Me: Uhm okay
That was weird, I don't know if
he's pissed off or angry or
whatever is going on with him. I
did as he said and they all agreed
to be here in a few minutes.
Ntombi arrived first and she
stayed with me in the kitchen
while we wait for the others
Ntombi: And why have we been
summoned here?
Me: I don't know, all I know is
that Mr K there isn't happy.
Ntombi: I wonder
Me: We're about to find out
The flock came in, loud noise as
always and we went to sit by the
lounge
Vusi: What's with the long face
Nosipho?
Me: I don't know, I'm just
confused that's all.
Kwanele: So Nosi tells me about
the meeting you ladies had last
night. Care to share what it was
about Simi so that we're all on
the same page
Simi: Well we were going to inform
you guys but we needed to settle
things first. So we are starting a
campaign called The Womans
Drive, what we do is help woman
who are being abused, who have
been raped, who are drug and
alcohol addicts, who need shelter,
food and clothing, woman who
need jobs and who are starting
businesses etc basically we are
focusing in all woman's needs from
little girls to teens to young
woman. We will be helping them in
all aspects. What we've done so
far is do a business plan and set
up appointments for our potential
sponsors, we need sponsors so we
can get the business on its feet.
Menzi: Sponsors you say?
Simi: Yes
He huffed and did that little
smirk he does when he is pissed
Me: This is the same reaction I
got from Kwanele.
Khetho: We are sorry for not
informing you
Lwazi: That's not the problem,
the problem is you going out
there and looking for sponsers to
start up your business while we
are here and we can give you all
the financial assistance that you
need.
Kwanele: We have the financial aid
you need, you will be going on
ruthless people who might look
down on your idea and not sponsor
it, who will want to be part of it
for personal gain, fame and some
might even steal your ideas.
Menzi: We have businesses which
are successful and they can
sponsor you. We don't work with
the government and surely do not
work not form alliances with
other business.
Funeka: We are not you
Ntethe: But you are a part of us.
That alone doesn't need any
explanation or any documentation
Me: Wow
Khetho: We want to do this on our
own. We don't want to depend on
you
Vusi: But you want to depend on
someone else? Some sick people
you don't even know?
Menzi: We get that this is
something you want to do by
yourselves without our names
being involved and you being known
out there because of our images
but what we're saying is, we'll
provide the financial assistance
without anyone even knowing and
you'll be the forefront of this
campaign
Kwanele: That's it.
Khetho: I understand but there
wasn't any reason to get mad.
Kwanele: There was a whole lot of
reasons. We have enemies out
there and we don't want you
getting into business with them,
success comes with alot of
enemies
I knew this had alot to do with
the other business they do, not
the businesses they own as a
front.
Me: It's not like people know
we're involved with you, or even
know you in a more personal and
close relationship/friendship.
Ntethe: And we've kept it like
that for a reason. You will be
known when the time is right. We
are doing this to protect you and
for you to be out of danger.
Thando: I support everything
that has been said by the gents
and honestly speaking, you do not
want to be known. As much as you
might be clueless for now, as time
passes you'll have a little
knowledge of what we're talking
about.
They went on and on about the
importance of our own safety and
how starting a business is hard
and honestly I was nervous and
bored by this talk. It was settled
that they would be providing the
financial assistance and we were
secure with the start up capital.
What we needed to do was get on
with our first project. Kwanele
was laying on the couch talking
about business yet he wasnt even
feeling well. They taught us
about what we need to know
about starting, maintaining and
sustaining a business. They told
us about how we should have
internal control of the business, all
the ethics and principals of
heading out campaign.
Lwazi: I know you will all be
shareholders of the campaign but
you will need to have a CEO, you
will need to divide yourselves for
certain duties and certain
positions. You need a managerial
structure before you even launch
the campaign.
Kwanele: Do you have an office?
Us: No
They looked at us like we're crazy.
Simi: I need a drink
Ntethe: What you need is an
office
I don't know, I suddenly feel
pressure and I feel a whole lot of
work needs to be done and they
are expecting us to know and
have everything organized.
Lwazi: Okay, I have office space
available for you. It's something
small to start with, just a
building with two floors. We are
leaving you with a small task off
assigning yourselves on who will be
incharge of what. You will figure
it out on your own. We will look
into it when we come back and we
can move onto the next step.
Agreed?
Us: Yes
Kwanele stood up and I looked at
him.
Me: And where do you think you're
going?
Kwanele: A little cold and knee cut
cannot keep me down babe.
He put on his glasses and they
were off. He was walking slowly
and carefully, he is tired.
Me: Do not stand or even work
Kwanele I'm warning you
Menzi: I'll keep an eye on him.
Plus we're going to chill, you have
work to do.
Thando: Bye Businesswoman
She winked at us and they left.
We looked at each other realizing
that what we're about to do
needs alot of work and time.
Me: We're all quitting our jobs
Funeka: Wow.
Simi got wine and we sat down
with a papers and pens.
Me: I think it is only fair that we
appoint Khethokuhle as CEO as
she came up with the idea.
Them: Yes, we agree.
Funeka: I can head up marking
relations sector.
Ntombi: I'll be the campaigns
therapist, we will need to have a
therapist for all the woman we
will deal with. For now I can help
on the marketing side too.
Simi: I can be on the finance
department
Khetho: And you?
Me: I don't know. I mean, I have
no experience in such things, no
qualifications whatsoever. I can
help with whatever it is that I
can do.
Funeka: You'll head up the public
relations sector. Everything else
that we will need like HR etc, we
will assist each other as time
goes by and as the campaign
grows.
Me: We do have an office space
now, so what we need to do is
start up blogs, website, social
media pages etc.
Simi: With the money they'll give
us as start up capital, I think we
should buy a building which we will
turn into a shelter. So when we
launch and take in woman, we will
have a place to put them.
Me: We will also need to work with
a rehabilitation center so we will
know where to put those who are
addicts and in need of help.
Khetho: it's February, we will
launch in April. We need to get
everything ready before the end
of April. We will all help each other
with the launch and it needs to be
on a high level.
Me: We're really doing this and
there's no going back.
Funeka: Yes we are.
We continued planning and writing
things down. We had a pretty
decent and clear vision of what we
wanted. The guys arrived and we
presented everything that we
have been working on and they
added their inputs and we
discussed our way forward with
them and they approved of most
of the things we had together so
far.
Menzi: We are impressed and
proud of you
Us: Thank you.
For the rest of the day we were
working and getting things
together. After having dinner
they left. Kwanele and I took a
bath together and went to bed. I
was laying on his chest.
Me: So I'll stop working at the
restaurant, you need to appoint
another manager.
Kwanele: You're putting your chef
career aside?
Me: I wasn't really a chef
professionally, cooking is
something I know and I'll always
know. I'm not letting it go
completely because it got me
where I am today but for now
I'm exploring something different.
I will focus on my cooking career
one day but not now. When this
picks up and everything goes well
and we're settled, I'll focus on my
cooking, who knows? I might even
open my own restaurant or
cooking classes? There's alot that
I can do.
Kwanele: I'm glad you're realizing
your own full potential without
me guiding you. I had plans of
taking you to a cooking school and
you having something of your own.
Now, you're doing it on your own
and I'm proud of you. I'm really
proud of you
Me: Thank you, it hasn't even
happened yet Kwanele
Kwanele: But I know and believe
that everything will be a success.
Me: Thank you.
We continued talking and I enjoyed
how he was educating me about
business and his company. It
wasn't something I ever thought
I'd enjoy listening to or a
conversation that I thought
we'd ever have but it was good.
He was building me in some type
of way and I listened attentively
and I know I will need all the
advice he is giving me. This is a
new chapter in my life and I am
enjoying it.

Insert 25
Kwanele: Fresh roses and
cappuccino for the hard working
beautiful woman who owns my
heart.
Me: Why thank you Mr Zondi. I
needed this so much.
He sat down on the couch and laid
on it. He gets so comfortable in
my office, you'd swear it belongs
to him. Yes, you heard that right,
it's my office. It's been a month
since we started working on
starting the campaign. The
building Lwazi offered to us was
bigger than we imagined, it was
more than enough space that we
needed and luckily, it had just been
upgraded and renovated all we
just did was move in and add our
own banners. We just have a
month till we launch and more
hard work starts. What we've
done so far is buy a warehouse
which we have turned into a
shelter. We have assigned a
rehabilitation center that will
work with us and we have
started our social media pages,
our logos, banners, flyers,
programmes and alot more. Each
passsing day is a start of
something new that we take on,
we are almost ready for
everything to just start and
trust me, the excitement and
nerves are there each and every
day. We attend meetings, mostly
with schools, hospitals and work
places that we will work with. We
do not go into working with any
other place without having the
guys look into it. To say they are
being extremely protective would
be an understatement.
Simi: Here are the files you
needed. Hi and bye Kwanele
She went out and went to her
office. We all didn't think we would
be this busy and we are buried in
piles of work.
Kwanele: I'm taking you out for
lunch. You better be ready when I
come and fetch you. I don't want
what happened last night to
happen again
Me: It won't happen and I'm
sorry Zondi
He just walked out.
I guess I have to make it up to
him today. What happened last
night, well I was supposed to
come over to his place for dinner
and sleep over but I worked till
late. The girls and I went home
after midnight. Kwanele wasn't
the only one who was mad about
that, Menzi had a date with
Khetho and she didn't show up.
"You could've just went to Buhle"
was Khetho's response which
made Menzi more angry. They are
still doing this relationship of
theirs and Buhle hasn't found out.
Menzi, I must say he is one lucky
man. Khetho is happy and content
with what she is doing and she
says there isn't any strong
feelings there yet, she has been
on a date with another guy,
Menzi wasn't happy at all. She
said it was just to remind Menzi
that she is actually single and
just his side chick. Which sent
Menzi to the edge, he was
breathing fire on that day. And
Khetho, she is just enjoying this
and she enjoys making Menzi go
crazy. Speak of the devil, Menzi
just walked in.
Menzi: NoGift
Me: Menzi, I don't like that name.
Menzi: Where is that crazy
woman called Khetho? She's not in
her office
Me: She's in a meeting. Don't let
her hear you say she's crazy
Menzi: I love her crazy ass
anyways.
Me: Love huh?
He sits down and sighed.
Menzi: You know I like her and it's
slowly turning into love. She's
crazy, she's loving, She's
different. She just makes me feel
a whole lot of feelings in just one
time.
Me: Buhle?
Menzi: She's calm, she's different
from Khetho. She's just calm, she
listens, she is not hot headed,
She's the submissive type. When
you take Khetho and Buhles
personalities, combine them
together, jackpot, it's everything
I need in a woman but thing is,
they're not one person.
Me: Shame, I feel for you. I hope
this really doesnt have a bad
ending.
Menzi: We don't know what the
future holds. Anyways, let me
leave.
He left and I went back to work.
I had a meeting to attend to,
we're meeting at Circus and
Circus Cafe @Musgrave with our
supplier of sanitary pads. And
after that I will meet up with
the owner of the rehabilitation
center we will be working with. I
drove off to Musgrave and my
first meeting with the supplier
was a success. What we will do is
provide schools with sanitary
pads to give to the young girls for
free. I don't understand why
condoms are available for free yet
pads arent? Why should a woman
buy what they really need
monthly, some children cannot
even afford to buy these on a
monthly basis so they should be
free. We will start with 5 schools
and then as we grow and expand
we will be reaching out to more
schools.
While waiting for my next client I
called my mom. She hardly ever
calls me, my parents and I have a
weird relationship but I would
say I get along more with my dad
than my mother.
Mom: Nosipho my princess
Me: Hi mom
We talked for a while just
checking up on each other,
updating her about my life and
she's updating me about hers. I
told her about the campaign a
while ago and she did also
contribute some money, she said it
is something that she would
really contribute to than giving
me back my monthly allowance and
buying me clothes. They really
meant it when they said they are
teaching me out independence and
providing for myself, they do not
know about my relationship with
Kwanele yet and it will stay that
way for a while. It's a bit too
early for me to be introducing him
to my parents. I ended the call as
I saw a man looking around and I
figured it was the man I'm
meeting up with. I don't really
know how he looks. I walked to
him
Me: Are you Mr Mazibuko?
Him: Yes, you must be Ms Bilose
Me: Yes, yes I am. That's where
I'm seated.
He followed me and we sat and
ordered food. He said he was
hungry and this is the only chance
he will get to grab something to
eat.
Him: By the way, my name is
Dumisani.
Me: I'm Nosipho, Co-founder of
The Woman Drive. We would like
to work with Survive
Rehabilitation center. What we
need is to admit the woman we
will be helping to your center and
they will be taken care off there.
My campaign will cover all costs of
the patients treatment. What
I've seen is that you're one of
the best facilities and we want
the best for these woman and
your prices a bit high. What I
want to negotiate is our working
terms and payments.
Dumi: I'm listening
Me: TWD isn't a campaign that
strives to make profit but it aims
to help people therefore all the
financial aid we receive will to
helping the woman in need. I saw
that treatment at your facility is
R1000 monthly per person and you
admit them for approximately 3
to 4 months so that's basically
R3000-R4000 per person.
Dumi: Yes but we can negotiate a
deal. About how many people will
you bring in?
Me: Let's just say about 10 which
will be about R40 000.
Dumi: For each person we will
charge half price. So for those 10,
you will pay R20 000. Which is a
starting point, you bring in 15, you
pay R25000. We negotiate a
discount by how many people you
bring into our facility.
Me: Thank you Mr Mazibuko. We
will draw up a contract and we
shall meet again to settle
everything and know how many
people will be our starting
number. We will be in contact with
you.
Dumi: We?
Me: Yes, I do own the campaign
with 4 other woman so you may
find any of them contacting you.
Dumi: I wouldn't mind working
with you, just you.
Me: Well unfortunately I don't
work alone so that can't happen.
Dumi: You're beautiful
Me: Thank you, you're not too bad
yourself.
Dumi: Ouch, I expected a you're
handsome.
Me: Not happening
Dumi: Dinner?
Me: Not happening either
Dumi: You're taken?
Me: Yes
Dumi: By?
Me: You don't need to know.
He laughed and payed the bill. He
walked me to my parking, paid for
my parking fee and said he's
goodbyes. If I was single, maybe
I'd go on that dinner but I'm not.
He is a good looking guy but no, he
isnt my cup of tea. I went back
to the office and I walked in
humming Emeli Sande_ Give me
something.
Shit.
Oh I'm in trouble.
He was sitting on my seat playing
with a pen.
He kept on clenching his jaw, he is
angry.
Me: Kwanele I'm sorry
Silence.
Me: Kwanele
Silence.
I put my bag on the couch and
took off my shoes. I sat on the
desk facing him and held his hand.
Me: Babe please talk to me
Kwanele: I'd rather not.
Ouch, atleast he said something.
Kwanele: Why aren't you
answering my calls?
Me: My phone is off, I forgot to
charge it. Let me charge it now.
Kwanele: Where have you been?
Me: I had double meetings at
Musgrave and it completely
slipped my mind that we had a
lunch date Kwanele.
Kwanele: Okay.
Thats it?
He is still angry, that I can see.
Me: Ngyaxolisa Zondi
He ignores me and stands up. My
hands still in his, he comes closer
and kisses my forehead and then
he walks away.
Me: Where are you going?
Kwanele: Work.
He leaves and I say and lay on
the desk. This launch should
happen now so I can stop being
this busy and be with my man.
Atleast when the campaign is up
and running I'll have more time
and things will be better and I'll
be used to the workload. I
continued working and went to
help Funeka too. At 6pm we
knocked off and I drove to
Kwanele's. I was tired but I had
to make up for my mess.
He isn't home yet.
I took a shower and then I
cooked dinner. I was so sleepy but
I'll wait up, he'll be home soon. I
watched tv till I zoned out
Voice: Wake up! Wake up.
I kept mumbling and turning.
Me: Kwanele
Voice: In your dreams. Wake up
I opened my eyes and it was
Kwenzo.
Me: What are you doing here?
Kwenzo: I was hungry and I need
money so Kwanele said I should
come here and you'll give me food
and money
Me: Where is he?
Kwenzo: He is working late. Don't
wait up on him. He know you're
here
Me: Oh
Kwenzo: I can have his plate, and
Menzi's
Me: Suit yourself. And where will
I get this money?
Kwenzo: His safe
Me: I don't know the password or
pin
Kwenzo: Call him.
He gave me his phone and I called
Kwanele.
Me: Hi
Kwanele: Nosipho
Me: Kwenzo needs money...
I don't know, it was just
awkward. I guess he's still mad.
Kwanele: Go to my office, the one
near the study room.
I did as he said, he said his safe
is in a shoe box. That's odd and
smart.
Me: Password?
Kwanele: Your second name
I laughed and opened it.
Me: How much?
There were a few stacks of
money and a black box which I
didn't open.
Kwanele: Give him 5k. Open the
black box, what's inside is yours to
keep. Don't wait up on me, I love
you.
He ended the call before I could
even respond.
Me:(whispers) I love you too.
I opened the black box and there
was my favourite chocolate. I
smiled and locked.
I gave Kwenzo the money and he
left. I didn't have any appetite
so I just went to the room. I put
my chocolate in my bag and just
slept. It's the first time I sleep
alone in his bed, it feels so cold. I
can't help but feel like this is
some sort of punishment for
earlier on and yesterday night. I
miss him.
I woke up the next day and he
wasn't in bed.
He didn't come back.
I took a shower and got dressed.
Took my things and drove to the
apartment. I changed into proper
work clothes.
Ntombi: Morning and goodnight.
Me: You just got here?
Ntombi: Yes, I worked all night. I
will come in at 11 at the office. We
have to be looking into the
documents of the people who will
stay at the shelter
Me: They've sent in their
documents already?
Ntombi: Yes
Wow, we just put it the word out
on social media and on radio just
two days ago. I had breakfast
and finished up. I tried calling
Kwanele but he didn't answer. I
decided to drive to his office and
see him. The receptionist, she
always gives me a bad eye surely
she remembers the day I said
I'm Kwanele's cousin but I came
out wearing my skirt inside out. I
laughed a little just thinking
about that.
Me: Morning
Her: Miss Bilose
Me: I'm here to see Mr K. Zondi
Her: Unfortunately he isn't in the
office, he had to fly to Joburg
last night and he might be back
later tonight or tomorrow.
Me: Oh, is Mr M Zondi in?
Her: They left together.
Me: Okay thank you. You can have
this
I gave her the lunch I prepared
for Kwanele and she thanked me
then I left.
I was hurt.
Why didn't he tell me he is
leaving? He always tells me when
he goes out of town. I headed to
my workplace and they were at
the reception area, they've moved
the furniture and scattered the
documents on the floor.
Me: Please tell me that those
aren't all the documents we need
to go through?
Funeka: Well they are.
I took off my shoes and also sat
down next to a pile of documents.
Basically it was a document
containing the name and details of
the woman who need shelter and
their personal information. What
we needed to do is go through
them and get them registered
into our system.
Khetho: We have a problem, a
very huge problem.
Me: What is it? I don't think I
can handle any problems right now
I have enough of my own.
Simi: We have to put our own
problems aside for now.
Khetho: Our shelter can only
accommodate 500woman and
that's it. We have about 1300
applicants and we do not have
space for all of them.
Me: Wow and surely they'll be
more coming in when we actually
launch.
Funeka: We need to buy another
warehouse, which will be bigger
and will accomodate 1000 people.
Me: Do we have enough money and
time?
Simi: Money is not a problem, I
don't know about time.
Khetho: I'll contact Lwazi right
away, he will have a warehouse
available for us, he has to have
one. This is just scary and
happening so fast. I don't even
know when was the last time I
rested
Funeka: Tell me something I
don't know, I just need a vacation
Me: We started this so we need to
finish it.
We looked at the documents, I
was amazed to see that it
wasn't only woman from Durban
but from various places of South
Africa who needed shelter. Some
even wrote reasons why they
want to be at the shelter and
their stories were touching.
Simi: Ntombi has alot of therapy
sessions she'll need to prepare for.
They have sad stories
Me: Thats true.
They were even young teenagers
who have dropped out of school.
We worked the day away. Ntombi
came with lunch and we worked
for the rest of the day.
Me: I want to go home
Khetho: Me too, its 9pm so we
can go and rest. We shouldn't be
over working ourselves.
I checked my phone, not even a
single call from Kwanele.
Me: Let's go, I'm not driving. I'll
leave my car here
Ntombi: I'll drive your car, I came
with an Uber.
Me: Good
We went to the apartment and
we were all just too tired to even
cook. We ordered food while I
went to bath. I changed into
Kwanele's boxers which he doesnt
know that I took and his basket
ball shirt. I wish he could see how
sexy I look in his clothed, but he
can't and never will. I didn't know
how it hurt to miss someone so
much. But now I know and I
don't like the feeling. It hurts
more that wherever he is, he
might be mad at me.
I went back to the girls and we
watched tv in silence. I don't
know, it felt like things were
changing. We didn't realize how
this would change our lives.
Simi: Am I the only one who
misses our lives before we were
this busy?
Me: You're not the only one. I feel
like I'm slowly loosing my life.
Worse, I even forget dates that
I have with Kwanele.
Funeka: It's hard to juggle our
work life and our personal life. I
mean, we new at this and we're
going to get used to it.
Ntombi: Our lives won't be the
same as they were. After
everything is on its feet, we'll
know how to prioritize and juggle
both sides of our lives. What
matters is that we're going
through this change, together.
Khetho: And nothing can stop us.
We're doing this ladies and we
have to keep our heads held high,
I feel like this is nothing, a whole
lot more is about to happen. We
just need to hold each others
hands and go through this.
Me: Cheers
We did a very lousy toast, we
were just too tired to even raise
our glasses. We laughed at each
other and went to our rooms. I
checked my phone one more time
and there was nothing, maybe I
should just call. I called him but
no answer, it just rang and rang
till it went through to voice mail.
Let me just sleep, I have a busy
day ahead of me tomorrow and I
need to be focused. I'll deal with
Kwanele when he decides to show
up.
I miss him.
I hope he misses me.

Insert 26
My morning routine was as it
always is. I told myself I
wouldn't check my phone but I did
and there wasn't any change at
all. I was dreading to go to work
but I had to, it's just the 5 of us
so we need to be at work at all
times. I got to work and I was
the first to arrive. I opened up
and went to the bathroom first.
I went to my office and took off
my shoes, my phone fell while I
was taking off my shoes.
Me: Shit!!
"You do not use such a language in
the office Buttercup"
I looked up and he was there,
standing next to my desk looking
so handsome. I threw my bag and
phone on the floor, again and ran
to him. I literally threw myself on
him, thank God he was able to
hold me. I wrapped my legs
around his waist and hugged him.
Kwanele: Well someone missed me
I couldn't even speak, I just
cried.
Nosipho, when did you become to
clingy?
Kwanele: Don't cry now. I bet you
look ugly when you cry
Me: Don't start, pickle.
We kissed and I kept on holding
onto him.
Kwanele: I hear you've been
looking for me. I'm sure you
almost sent out a search team
for your lost boyfriend
Me: You just disappeared into thin
air Zondi
Kwanele: I like it when you call me
Zondi
Me: Seriously?
He nodded and kissed me again.
Kwanele: I went away on business
Me: You always tell me but this
time you didn't.
Kwanele: I was angry when I
should've been understanding.
Thando told me I was being
unfair, yes you were wrong but I
should understand the pressure
that you're under and I for one
should really know the pressure
that starting up a business
comes with. I guess I was just
sulking, I'm not used to having
you forget our plans, nor you
having no time for me. I guess I
got used to always having you
around.
Me: It's okay to be mad about it,
I'd also be mad. And I'm sorry
Gagashe. I really am
Kwanele: I am sorry too. Now
start working, I'll just lay down
on this not so comfortable couch
and be a good distraction
Me: Stop judging my couch please.
Shouldn't you be going to work?
Kwanele: No, I took the day off
so I can suffocate you with my
presence.
Me: I like that.
Simi came in with a bunch of
forms and she put the on my desk
and sat down.
Simi: I wish I was Kwanele right
now. Lwazi will be here in a few
minutes so he can show us the
warehouse he purchased and I've
spoke to the construction team
we were working with and they'll
immediately start working today.
Khetho went to a meeting,
Ntombi is also in a meeting.
Funeka is running some errands
and checking up on the shelter
equipment that we bought so
she's just making sure everything
is in its place. Buhle offered to
help so she is fetching the stock
from the sanitary pads supplier
which I've notified that she will
be fetching them and I think
thats it.
Me: Thank you very much, so
when are we starting the
interviews?
Simi: Today at 8am so we just
have an hour left and there were
some girls standing outside
already.
Kwanele: What interviews are
those?
Me: The woman who we'll be
taking into the shelter.
Kwanele: So some will be rejected?
Me: No, but we first want to
start with those who are really
completely homeless and
desperately need to be in the
shelter as soon as possible. And
those who need to be enrolled at
the rehabilitation center as soon
as we launch.
Kwanele: So they'll start staying
at the shelter on the day of the
launch?
Simi: Yes and the others will
start staying at the new shelter
a day or two after the launch.
Kwanele: The other shelter won't
be ready on the day of the
launch?
Simi: We hope it will. What we also
want to do is group these ladies
into their age groups, the shelter
is divided into separate room each
room takes 10 people so we
wouldn't want to put kids with
20year olds. And we wouldn't
want to put 20 year olds with
maybe 40 year olds. We have no
age limit but we want to make
them as comfortable as possible.
Kwanele: I understand.
Me: So you'll stay for the
interviews?
Kwanele: Yes, I did say I'll be on
this couch all day long.
Simi: Great then just don't freak
out people. Stay on that couch.
We put our documents in different
stacks so it could be easy to find
when we interviews the
candidate. After an hour we took
in the first person.
Me: There's quite a number of
woman outside. I'm freaking out
Kwanele: You can do this, you know
I'm right by your side.
Me: Thank you babe
Simi: Love birds, so cute.
The first lady came in and she
was with a small little girl.
Me: Good morning, your name
please.
Her: Palesa Moriti
Simi: I have her file.
Me: Thank you, we'll just ask you
a few questions basically this
interview is for us to familiarise
ourselves with you and at the end
we'll give you a token stating on
which date will you move in the
shelter. We have alot of people
who we will take in so we want to
do this accordingly
She nodded and sat down
Simi: So what do you do?
Palesa: I don't have a job.
Me: Where are you currently
staying?
Palesa: With my husband at our
shack in Mlazi, I want to leave
with my daughter before he kills
me. He is an abusive man who is
always drunk, I don't want my
daughter to grow up in that
environment.
Simi: The shelter will be opening in
a months time, will you be able to
hold on till then? How old are you
and the little one?
Palesa: I was planning on going to
my aunts place for a while, she
doesn't have much but I can stay
for a month there. I'm 26years
old and my daughter is 4.
We put her document in the box of
the ones we'll put into the new
shelter which is currently being
worked on. She will be part of the
ones moving into the shelter a
day after the launch. We
proceeded and continued with the
interviews and it was actually a
touching experience. The stories
seemed more real when you heard
the person speak more than when
we read them on the documents.
Ntombi and Funeka were here too
now and Kwanele was laying
silently on his couch.
Funeka: Next please
She came in and sat down. She
kept on fidgeting and looking
around. Her skin was pale and her
eyes were red. She was in a red
skimpy dress and an old sweater.
Me: Hi, your name please
Her: My name is Chantel, I don't
have enough time I need to go
back to work. I'm a prostitute
and I want to stop. I'm also
using drugs, alot maybe I'm an
addict maybe just maybe. I heard
about this campaign on radio, I
know you open in a months time
and I'll be here. Thank you
Me: How old are you?
Her: 19
She stood up and ran out. Funeka
tried chasing her but she was
gone.
Me: Atleast she said she'll be
here. She's going to rehab.
Ntombi put her file on the rehab
side. The day continued and there
were more interesting stories and
I don't know how many times
I've cried. I walked out of the
office and went to the bathroom.
He was here, he followed me. I
held him and cried in his chest. He
let me let it all out. He kept on
brushing my back and holding me.
Kwanele: Sssh, you need to be
strong Nosipho. This is the time
where you need to toughen up.
There are many woman out here
trusting you with their lives, who
depend on you to help them fix
their broken lives and you cannot
break down now. I know its hard,
its going to be harder as time
goes by. This is just still the first
day of interviews, this isn't even
a quarter of the documentation
you have, you still need to
interview many more people and
there is no time for breaking
down you hear me?
I nodded and wiped my tears.
Kwanele: You can be all emotional
about it when we're home. Not
now, wash your face and toughen
up.
Me: You should be asking if I
want to go home and stop this
Kwanele: That would be me
accepting that you weak and I'd
be making you weaker. You need to
be brave and strong, the field
you're getting into isn't for the
faint hearted. I need a strong
woman by my side and those
females out there need a strong
woman to lead them too. Now chin
up and go back in there.
What did I do to deserve such a
man? Funny how he was scared
he'd be a bad boyfriend and he
was new at this serious
relationship thing, he is just the
best and he does it so
effortlessly. I guess he has the
good boyfriend genes. He held my
hand and we went back to my
office. After interviewing 10 more
people we stopped for lunch.
Lwazi came in followed by men
who were carrying boxes
Lwazi: I figured the woman
outside might be hungry so we
got them food. Go help these men
distribute it.
Me: So thoughtful of you, we
didn't even think of that. Thank
you Lwazi.
We went out and gave them food.
They were very thankful and
their faces lightened up. Doing
this just makes you feel a some
type of peace in your heart.
Knowing that you're helping
someone and getting them out of
their misery is a great feeling.
Just making someone else's life
better makes your own life better
too.
Khetho arrived and she was
happy, we confirmed to be opening
the launch on the 30th of April
and everything seemed to be
coming together and we couldn't
be more happier. We proceeded
with the interviews for the day.
There were many people left and
we finished up at 8pm.
Khetho: Wow, what a busy and
emotional day
Me: Tell me about it, woman go
through the most.
Funeka: I just need a hot long
bath and my bed.
Me: Same here, and a good nice
massage right Mr Kwanele?
Kwanele: Anything for my
beautiful lady.
Simi: Uzongizama angith nam
Lwazi?( You'll give me one too
right Lwazi?)
Lwazi: Okangiqomi nokungiqoma
kodwa Simlindile. Kodwa ngoba
ngisazama uzoyithola into
oyifunayo(You haven't even
agreed to be my girlfriend
Simlindile. But I'll continue trying,
you'll get what you want)
Simi: Bengithi mina sengiqomile( I
thought I had already said yes)
Lwazi: Well you haven't
Simi: I am now.
Lwazi: I'm don't have time for
your jokes Simi
Simi: Well I'm not joking Lwazi.
Lwazi just scooped her up and
kissed her. We were screaming and
cheering. He couldn't believe it. He
put Simi down and they fist
bumped with Kwanele.
"Mina sengiqomile. Mina
sengqomile"- Simi sang while we
danced with her. This girl is
literally just something else.
There was a knock while we were
dancing.
Ntombi: I'll open.
She went to open and came back
with with a young looking girl who
had a nearly tied up afro, she had
hazel eyes and something about
them were so charming. She was
an average height and she looked
a skinny, you could tell that she's
lost weight, it was obvious that
her current weight isn't her
normal weight or was it the big
khaki vintage dress she was
wearing that made her look thin.
Me: Hi there.
Silence.
Her eyes were wondering around,
she was looking at us and her
surroundings. She cleared her
throat.
Her: Hello
If you weren't paying attention
you wouldn't even hear her. Her
voice was softer than a whisper,
almost impossible to hear. She
cleared her throat again
Her: Hello.
It was a bit louder this time. She
looked like she was feeling cold.
Khetho: Come seat down, do you
want something to eat?
I guess I wasn't the only one
who thought she looked hungry.
Her: No thank you.
Me: What is your name and what
are you doing here so late?
Her: I got lost, I've been looking
all over durban for this place. It's
my first time here and I just
found this building now. Are you
not taking anyone in anymore?
Me: We're not taking anyone in
today sweetheart
Her: Oh, I guess I might have
heard wrong. I'm sorry
She stood up and walked to the
door
Funeka: Wait, where are you
going? We didn't get your name?
Her: I'm going to look for a place
to stay. My name is Asemahle,
Asemahle Fini.
Me: Asemahle, beautiful name for
a beautiful girl. Where do you
come from?
Asemahle: Kwanolali, deep in the
Bhundus as some may say. It's a
village in the Eastern Cape.
Simi: Do you have a place to go to
here in durban for the time
being?
Asemahle: No. I'm sure I can find
a place or sleep on the streets.
When do you open? I will come
back
Kwanele: You can't be on the
streets, it's not safe. You're
coming home with us.
Me: She is?
Kwanele: Yes she is.
I smiled and squeezed his hand.
Asemahle seemed pretty hesitant
but she agreed. We all went to
Kwanele's, Buhle was there with
Menzi, Vusi and Ntethe
Me: Hi Buhle
Vusi: She's the only one in this
room?
Me: I was still going to greet you
moron.
Buhle: Hey, I came with the
packages, we stored them in the
basement
Khetho: Thank you very much. You
were great help, you look stunning
as always.
Buhle: Thank you, I prepared
dinner. I hope you guys are
hungry
Lwazi: I can never say no to food.
By the way this is Asemahle.
They greeted her and she was
standing awkwardly behind me. I
took her to a room downstairs
and the girls followed us. We
properly introduced ourselves to
her and she got to know our
names.
Me: Do you want to shower first
before you eat or you'll shower
when you sleep?
Ase: I'll shower before I sleep.
Thank you
Simi: How old are you?
Ase: 17.
Ntombi: Why did you come to
Durban? Why do you want TWD to
help you?
Ase: I ran away from home. My
parents were marrying me off to
an old man, I couldnt do it so I
escaped, I should be in the hut
where I was locked in from the
beginning of the week. My friend
helped me escape and she told me
to come here. She said she saw
something about the campaign on
social media so she wrote down
the details on a paper and gave
me money to come here.
Me: Wow and how old is this man
you're supposed to be getting
married to?
Ase: 52, his wife died a few
months ago. So I was going to be
his new wife now, he doesnt have
kids so they said I was young and
fresh, I can bare babies for him.I
wasn't ready to be a mother, I'm
still a child myself.
Me: I'm so sorry about that.
You're at a safe place now, no
need to worry. Let's go have
dinner so you can get some rest.
We all went to have dinner and it
was delicious.
Khetho: That was amazing,
thank you Buhle.
Me: Indeed it was.
Kwanele: Did you enjoy Asemahle?
Ase: Yes sir, I did. Thank you
Kwanele: Call me Kwanele, Sir
makes me sound old.
Ase: Yes Bhut'Kwanele.
He laughed and we just chilled
while Asemahle went to bath, I
gave her a pair of my pyjamas.
She came to the lounge while
biting her nails
Simi: What's wrong? Are you
okay?
Ase: I'm just scared of sleeping
alone. It's a big room
Khetho: Oh, no worries. I can
sleep with you.
Menzi: You will?
Khetho: Yes I will. I sleep alone
so I'll crash with Asemahle for
the night.
Ase: Thank you sisi
Khetho: let's go sleeping buddy,
goodnight love birds, dorks and
morons.
Vusi: I'm part of the love birds
thank you very much.
He doesn't even have a girlfriend.
Kwanele and I went to our room.
Me: I'm going to take a bath
Kwanele: I'll join you.
We stripped and got into the
bath tub. I laid on his chest as
the foam covered us. He kept on
squeezing my boobs and caressing
my body.
Kwanele: It was a long day
Me: Yes it was. Do you think she's
okay?
Kwanele: She will be under our
care.
Me: Thank you for taking her in
for the time being.
Kwanele: Glad I could help. Now
maybe I could help you relax with
my magic stick, it has all the
soothing potions you need.
Me: Oh really now?
Kwanele: Yes my lady
Me: I would love to get myself a
bit of this magic stick.
Kwanele: Now we're talking.
Me: Kwanele!!
He squeezed my nipple a bit too
hard and he laughed.
Kwanele: Turn around.
I turned and kissed him.
And the kiss lead to other
soothing things which the magic
stick took very good care off.

Insert 27
We have waited and worked very
hard to make sure that our
dream is accomplished. With just a
day left till the launch, we feel
suddenly relieved that all our
hardwork shall finally be put out
there and be a success. The past
two months have been the
hardest, busiest and most
challenging months in my life. It
was a time where I got to grow
not only as a person but also as a
business woman. Not only did I
gain more knowledge but I also
gained strength, courage and
positivity. This experience helped
me believe in myself, that there is
something that I can actually do
and it becomes a success. I was
never successful when it comes to
studying, school and books but look
at me now? I'm part of a
campaign that is about to change
the lives of many woman. What
more would I want? I'm satisfied
and happy about how my life
turned out. It's true when they
say you never know what the
future holds. Surely Gods plans
for your life will prevail.
We were standing outside the
second shelter, amazed that it
has been finished and everything
looks beautiful and in order
Funeka: I didn't think they could
pull it off in time.
Me: I'm also amazed. Everything
is done, we did a great job ladies.
We went inside and Kwenzo kept
on following us with a camera
recording everything. The rooms
were beautiful each room well
decorated, each person will have a
bed, side locker which is space for
clothes and a little side drawer.
Simi: I'm impressed with the
rooms.
We went on and went to see the
bathroom, kitchen, dinning hall,
playroom for the kids, mini library
and I must say, the constructors
outdid themselves.
Ntombi: Let's check out my
favourite room of the shelter
We went to the area where she
will be holding her therapy
sessions and it was spacious with
tables and chairs. There was an
office which belonged to her and
she was happy about it.
Kwenzo: This is impressive. Let's
go to the other shelter, I have
to go to class soon.
He took a few more pictures and
videos and then we went to the
other shelter.
Khetho: What a surprise!
The gents were there walking
around viewing the place. You'd
swear they own the place due to
how they were walking around
commenting and telling Kwanele
about it.
Vusi: So far, so good. How's the
nerves?
Simi: You do not want to know.
I went to stand next to my man
and held his hands. He squeezed
my hand and smiled. We kept on
walking around viewing the place
and I kept on explaining to him
which room we're in and what
was there.
Kwanele: By the sound of your
voice I can just tell how excited
and happy you are. I may not be
able to see the beauty of your
hard work but just know that I
am proud of you Nosipho. Infact,
I'm proud of all of you. You've
done something yourselves and it
is a success and will be a much
bigger success.
Ntethe: Kwanele has said it all.
Menzi: Plus we wanted to come
see this place before it's busy and
crowded tomorrow. But we know
you'll be great take pictures and
videos Kwanele
Khetho: You won't come?
Lwazi: We'd love to but we can't.
You can't be associated with us in
any way. It's for your own safety
Simi: Wow
Vusi: Don't be angry. It's really
for the best. When the time is
right, you'll get to be seen around
us all the time.
Kwanele: Kwenzo, make sure
security is tight tomorrow. I
don't want any mess, am I clear?
Kwenzo: Yes big bro. We're leaving
now, we have to be somewhere.
Funeka: Goodbye, thanks for
coming by.
Khetho: I can't help but feel like
you guys are up to something and
I don't feel like its going to go
your way. Just be safe
They all just then froze and
looked very guilty. I now know
whatever it is that they are up
to has to do with the diamonds. I
don't think Khetho knows about it
but maybe she's put something
all together in her head.
Menzi: You don't need to worry
about us. Just focus on TWD.
He kissed her forehead and they
left.
Khetho: But still, I don't like
whatever it is that they're up to.
I just have a feeling something
will go wrong.
I just remained silent and led the
way to the door. We had alot to
do today just to make sure
everything is ready for the big
day tomorrow. I was worried
about the guys but I just chose
to trust them and focus on what
I had to do.
Me: You'll drive Funeka, I'm tired.
Funeka: I'm tired too.
Kwenzo: I'll call a driver for you.
I'm leaving now, he'll be here in
10mins.
Me: Thank you.
We sat and waited for the driver.
He took us to Simi's house as we
requested. We had our outfits
there and we were going to sleep
over.
Khetho: I think this is the first
time we actually get to sit and
relax since this all started.
Me: No relaxing. We have calls to
make
Simi: I'll make those calls while
I'm in the jacuzzi. I need it.
Ntombi: Me too. I need to call
someone first, I'll join you soon
Me: A special somebody?
Ntombi: Maybe, maybe not.
Khetho: She has a special
somebody and she's being so
secretive about it. She has a
mystery man
Ntombi: You are crazy, I don't
have any mystery man.
She laughed and went to her
room. I went to change into
comfortable clothes and started
making calls just to confirm that
everything is set and ready for
tomorrow. We had an events
planner whom we hired for the
launch and he said everything is
ready and in place. The woman will
be arriving tomorrow at 12:30
and the launch will start at 1pm.
We do not know how many people
will come for the launch but we
are hoping that the word spreads
and people will know that there is
a place where they can get help.
After we were done with the calls
we relaxed in the jacuzzi and did
some catching up. We didn't drink
nor did we stay up till late.
Funeka said we should look young
and fresh for the big day.
The next day.
My phone is ringing.
Where is it?
I looked for it.
Found it.
I mumble a little hello, I didn't
even check who is calling.
Kwanele: Not even a hi babe I
missed you.
Me: Kwanele
Kwanele: A businesswoman doesn't
sleep till this hour.
Me: What time is it?
I checked and it was 11am. I
really slept so peacefully I
would've woken up later than this
if he didn't call.
Me: Its 11am and I still need just
three more hours of sleep.
Kwanele: You would be up if I was
around you and I know you'd be
screaming my name by now.
Me: Where are you? I wanna see
you before the launch. Maybe we
could have a good luck quickie
Kwanele: As much as I love the
sound of that but I'm not around.
Me: Where are you?
Kwanele: Somewhere.
Me: Be safe Kwanele, I'm worried
about you.
Kwanele: I have to go now, I'll
call you tonight. I love you and I
know you'll make me proud.
Me: I love you too.
He hung up and I sighed. Funeka
walked in my room and threw
herself on the bed.
Me: I guess I won't be able to
finish up my sleep.
Funeka: Ntethe just woke me up,
I was so irritated but also
charmed when I got his call.
Me: I guess they all decide to call
and check up on us cause Kwanele
just woke me up too.
Funeka: And Simi was on the
phone when I checked in her room
Me: And Khetho?
Funeka: Still sleeping
Me: I guess Menzi called Buhle
Funeka: Let's go check
We tiptoed to Khethos room and
she was sleeping peacefully.
Funeka: Maybe we should wait for
a few minutes. He'll call
Me: Maybe.
What we were doing was so
stupid but hey, we were just
curious. This triangle going on
between them was something we
haven't experienced so we're
experiencing it through Khetho.
We waited for about two minutes
and her phone rang. We giggled as
she answered and said Menzi's
name. We walked in on Thando in
the kitchen smiling to herself.
Me: Mystery man got you smiling
alone.
Ntombi: I'm just happy, there's
no man involved.
Me: Breakfast?
Ntombi: Already ordered. The
hairstylists will arrive soon and
later the make up artist will
come. I'm very much excited and
nervous about today. But I have
faith, I know things will go well
today.
Simi: Has anyone been in touch
with Thando? Is she coming?
She's not answering my calls
Me: Not me
Ntombi: She won't be coming. She
left with Menzi.
Me: Isn't Menzi with Kwanele?
Simi: Kwanele is with Lwazi that
I know.
Khetho: Morning girls
Funeka: Ntethe said he's with
Vusi
Me: So they're all in different
places? Kwanele just said he is
somewhere and didn't really say
where exactly he is. I just hope
whatever it is that they're up to,
they'll be safe.
Simi just looked at me and walked
to the bathroom. I have a feeling
she knows what I know. I doubt
the others know, why wouldnt
Funeka know when she is their
sister? She's a Zondi, she might
be involved in the business
somehow.
After having breakfast and
showering the hairstylists
arrived and we did our hair. We
then did our nails and make up. We
got dressed and were ready for
the launch. Black SUVs came in,
one after the other, like a
president was arriving.
Me: And who organized this?
Simi: I don't know but I'm happy
about it. Why didn't we think of
this? OMG!
We laughed and the drivers were
standing outside the car, there
were even security guards. Trust
me, I felt like it was just so
overbroad, this has Kwanele
written all over it.
I sighed and took my purse. Each
of us had our own car, driver and
two bodyguards. I got into the
car and greeted but there was
complete silence.
Wow. These men are too serious
Him: There is a phone on speaker,
it is connected to all the cars so
you can communicate with your
friends.
Me: Thank you.
I was in the third car and they
drove off to the venue. The cars
stopped, I guess we're here. It
was two blocks away from the
building, why did they park so
far?
"Oh my God, it is packed here, we
don't even have a parking space.
There's too many people out
here"- it was Khetho speaking on
the connected phone.
Me: I can't see, we're parked two
blocks away from the building.
"The bodygaurds are still trying
to make way for us. We should've
put a red carpet like I said we
should."- Simi
Thats so like her. She's been
insisting on a red carpet since we
started planning this launch. The
cars started moving, I guess
we've found space. Gosh, they
just stopped infront of everyone.
Me: Are my eyes deceiving me? Am
I seeing journalists here and
photographers?
"Okay, I'm nervous."
I was so nervous, it was like my
heart was beating out of my
chest. They opened the door for
me
Click
Click.
Flash
Flash
The sounds and flashes of the
cameras all around us as we came
out and stood together. We took
so many pictures I was even tired
of smiling. We stood right outside
the door of the shelter as it was
closed with a red ribbon. The MC
was one of Simi's friends.
MC: Good day ladies and
gentleman, ministers, councillors,
MECs and all protocol observed.
Help me welcome the ladies behind
this wonderful organization, the
faces behind such an amazing
campaign. Help me welcome the
founders of The Woman Drive!
People screamed and clapped
hands for us. Was this really
happening or am I dreaming?
MC: They are not only smart but
very beautiful and sophisticated
woman. From your far left we
have Miss Funeka Zondi, Miss
Ntombi Mbhele, Miss Khethokuhle
Gumede, Miss Nosipho Bilose and
right next to me is Miss Simlindile
Photholo. We would now like to cut
the ribbon so everyone could enter
and we will proceed with today's
programme.
We were given a big scissor to cut
the ribbon. We held it together
Khetho: This is it ladies
We cut it and we cheered. We
opened the door and it was
beautifully decorated and people
sat down while we stood on the
stage which was set up in the
shelters hall.
MC: The venue is amazing right?
We would like to welcome Miss
Khethokuhle, Co-funder and CEO
of The Woman Drive. We clapped
hands for her and sat down.
Khetho: Good day ladies and
gentleman. I would first like to
start off by thanking each and
every one of you who is here
today. Thank you so much for
coming to celebrate and rejoice
this day with us. This is a day
that should be remembered for
the rest of our lives because this
day and this campaign is about to
change many lives. The Woman
Drive is founded by 5woman, I
had an idea of doing something to
just help woman and I told my
friends about it. They showed
interest and we just said okay,
let's start this campaign. We
went in on doing this without
having any clue on where to start
or what is it that we'll actually
do. I remember two months back
we were just sitting planning
everything and everything just
came together so well. It was
indeed a God's plan. A few months
ago, well I could say 5months ago
to be exact, I didn't know these
ladies up here with me. Most of
you wouldn't believe it or would be
shocked if I told you Miss Nosipho
Bilose and I met in a police van
and we shared a jail cell.
People gasped and were amazed
and very eager to hear the story.
Khetho: It's true, she was in jail
for poisoning a corrupt man and I
was in jail for killing my ex
husband.
There was a little noise going on
and people talking amongst
themselves.
Khetho: I'm sure you're wondering
why I killed him. I killed him
because he raped my little infant
to death. A man I loved and
trusted, the father of my baby,
he raped and killed his own flesh
and blood. I stabbed him,
17times. To me, calling the police
and getting him arrested wasn't
something I saw as a good
enough punishment. He deserved
to die and I did it myself and do I
regret it? No, not at all. Now
days some men just rape infants,
kids, teenagers, mothers and
grandmothers what is that?
Woman who gave life to these
men, woman who fight tooth and
nail to raise these men, woman
who love, respect and care for
these men yet they turn and rape
us, abuse us, kidnapp and kill us?
What have they become? Today
we take a stand, today we stand
and help our woman, our children
and mothers. Today is the day we
take a stand and hold each other
as women and we escape this
world we live in. It is time we
helped each other lift off the
weight we carry on our shoulders.
It is time we say enough is
enough. This is the Woman Drive
and we are here to help.
Wathinta Abafazi, Wathinta
Imbokodo!!!
We were clapping and cheering for
her. She delivered a very good
speech. We all had turns to speak
and I wanted to be the last. I
was very scared especially after
the great speeches my fellow
friends delivered. I didn't even
write anything down, I'm not
prepared. I stood up and looked
around everyone was seated and
waiting for me go speak. My
mother is here, my father too. I
smiled as they waved their
thumbs up at me. I looked at the
front row, Buhle was here too
looking as stunning as always.
Even Bab'Gagashe was here. I
didn't think they'd all be here.
Me: I didn't think The Woman
Drive would be something so big,
I didn't even think 50chairs
would be filled in by people sitting
on them. It is indeed a great
pleasure to see how much of a
success our campaign is. A very
warm greeting to everyone who is
present today. My name is
Nosipho Bilose and I'm the Co-
founder and head of Public
Relations of The Woman Drive. As
my fellow friends and business
partners have spoke and talked
about what TWD is, what
inspired it, and how it came about,
I don't have alot to say so I will
not be long. This journey of
making TWD a reality and not
just a dream wasn't an easy one.
It was a life changing journey, a
journey where I learnt alot about
myself and the women we were
engaging with. I heard
heartbreaking stories, there are
times where I stood up and cried,
where I felt like this is too much
and I am ready to give up. We all
felt like that when the pressure
and workload was too much but
we would remind ourselves that
this isn't just about us. It is
about the thousand voices of
woman screaming out for help. We
need to answer, we need to go out
there and help them. We need to
make a change and that change
starts now for them. That
change for us started the minute
we worked on this campaign, we
grew alot in just a space of two
months. My parents could vouch
for me, I was just a spoilt child
growing up. My parents did
everything for me, I failed at
school, I even failed Matric. My
parents cut me off and I had to
go out there and fend for myself.
At first I was angry at them, I
thought they've just thrown me
to the wolves but little did I
know that they were helping me
grow and if they didn't cut me
off, I wouldn't be where I am
today. All I knew and cared about
was just me, me and me. Helping
someone wasn't even something I
thought about but as I grew in
this journey I realized that
helping one or two people makes a
huge change in your life and their
lives. I would like to thank all the
woman who took a step forward
and came to us for help. I would
like to thank you all for trusting
us with your lives and the
challenges you face everyday.
Thank you very much and thank
you TWD.
We were given a round of applause
and the day proceeded. We took
the officials around the shelter
and pictures were taken as the
woman entered. The second
shelter was a few blocks away, it
was a walkable distance and we
all walked there, the security
detail was tight. We had
bodyguards following just the 5 of
us as the other woman entered
the second shelter, pictures were
being taken.
Simi: Okay, it seems as if
everyone who came today has a
bed and there's space left.
Me: Thank God. Everything is just
going so smoothly. There's
Asemahle, let me go talk to her.
I went to her and she had a
huge smile on her face. She was
wearing a blue dress which
Fuenka bought for her.
Me: Miss Fini, how are you? Have
you settled in?
Ase: Yes Sis Nosipho, I've even
made a friend.
Me: That's good then, I'll check
up on you tomorrow.
We did a few short interviews and
after another hour the event
was over and people were leaving.
It gave us a chance to go see and
speak to the other ladies and
children in the shelter. The ones
who had to be immediately
admitted to the Rehabilitation
centre were taken there and
everything was just falling into
place. We did see some new faces
and they were assisted by our
employees, we employed about 50
woman to work at the shelters
and they were trained and ready
to work. Everything was just a
success and we couldn't be more
happier.
Ntombi: Let's go home please my
feet are hurting
We were really tired and we said
our goodbyes and we were lead to
the cars. The drive home was
shorter than when we came here.
We were at the apartment. We
freshened up and sat by the pool
just going on about the events of
today.
Ntombi: I'm proud of you my
ladies. Now, who has heard from
the gents?
Me: Not me. Let me try calling
them. I called all of them yet no
one answered.
Me: No one is answering. They are
just MIA
Khetho: I hope they are safe
Funeka: They are grown men with
big balls. They'll survive. Tonight
is our night, don't stress about
them.
Simi: Amen to that!!

Insert 28
A week.
Never have we heard from them
nor do we know where they are.
Looking for them.
Where do we even start?
Worried.
That would be an
understatement.
We continue with our days working
and focusing on the campaign yet
our minds are far away, thinking
about the safety of those men
and wondering if they're dead or
not.
Just thinking if Kwanele has
eaten, is he safe? Is he injured?
I am caught up in so many
thoughts.
Funeka: I'm not going to work
today, I won't even be able to
function.
Khetho: Me too.
We've been staying together in
Vusi's house. What happened was,
we went looking for them in all
their houses but we had no luck.
We settled in Vusi's house since it
was closer to work. The Woman
Drive has been such a success,
we've been invited on multiple
radio stations and we made the
newspaper. People talking on social
media platforms about this
campaign and asking where do
these girls come from and they're
taking the world up by a storm.
And indeed we are.
Me: Maybe I'll go and just check.
Gugu and Priscilla have
everything under control at all
times though
Gugu is the manager at the first
shelter and Priscilla is the
manager at the second shelter.
Ntombi: Maybe they are held
hostage at some dungeon
We bursted out in laughter
Khetho: Honestly, you're just
coming up with the worst
scenarios. You watch too many
movies.
Ntombi: There is a possibility
And really, there is.
Khetho's phone rang and she
looked at us
Khetho: It's Buhle, answer it
Nosipho.
She threw it at me and stood
next to me.
"Khethokuhles phone hello? It's
Nosipho speaking."
"Nosi, hi. Where's Khetho?"- Buhle
"She went out with Simi. She left
her phone. She might be back in
an hour"
"I just wanted to ask if she's
heard from Menzi. He's just not
answering my calls and not at his
house. It's been a week now"-
Buhle, she sounded so worried.
Why is she calling Khetho?
Something just tells me she
knows what's going on between
Khetho and Menzi or maybe I'm
reading too much into it.
" Oh I thought you knew. They
were summoned by their father
for a business trip overseas. I'm
not sure when they'll be back.
Maybe Menzi forgot to tell you or
something but we haven't heard
from them too. We'll keep you
posted if they call or if he calls
you please let us know."
"Okay I will. Thank you and greet
the ladies for me."- Buhle.
She ended the call and Khetho
sighed.
Khetho: She's such a good person
and I hate what I'm doing thats
why I've decided I'll break things
off with Menzi. What I'm doing is
so wrong especially to Buhle. I'm
starting to feel so guilty.
Funeka: She does seem so genuine
and nice.
Khetho: Menzi should come back
so I could just end things. I don't
want to hurt Buhle.
Me: I'm in support of any decision
you make, as long as you're happy.
Simi: Let's invite her for lunch so
she'll stop worrying about Menzi
while she's just alone.
Khetho: Call her Nosi
I called her and she agreed to
come by for an early lunch. I
texted her the location and she
said she'll be here in two hours.
Me: Let me cook, it's been a while.
Funeka: I'll help.
Funeka and I cooked a very big
lunch which was so much food for
just the six of us. We also invited
Kwenzo, he'll be able to finish this
food. Buhle came over with some
wine, Kwenzo came with two of
his friends.
Simi: Eish, Kwenzo you don't have
timing. You came with hot friends
when you know I'm now taken. No
timing at all Kwenzo.
We laughed at her as she was
eyeing Kwenzo's friends. They
introduced themselves as Tino and
Dino, they're twins. We had a very
great and bubbly lunch together,
it was really refreshing and it
gave us a chance to just forget
about the missing men.
Dino: I've never tasted such good
food in my life, may I have more
please?
Tino: Me too man
Me: You even have the same
voices, I wonder how your parents
are able to separate you.
I dished up for them and they
seemed to be a bit sad and
awkward now.
Me: Did I say something wrong?
Tino: Oh no. We don't have
parents anymore, they both died
two years ago in a car crash.
Me: Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
Funeka: Really sorry, that
must've been a very hard moment
for the two of you.
Dino: It was a good and bad
moment. We didn't get along at
all, our parent's death brought us
together and now we're what
twins are supposed to be like.
They were really cute, very ben
10able. After lunch they resorted
to watching movies while I went
to the shelters. Everything was
going well and about 20 woman
who live in the shelter have
received jobs today. I
congratulated them, checked on
the teens, Asemahle and Chantal
were just the life of this teen
dorm. They're always so loud. We
managed to get them into schools
and they'll all be starting next
week and they'll be studying for
free. My job was done here but I
had one more stop in mind. First
and last time I went there it
was dark and I don't even
remember the directions properly
but I am going there. I drove for
the first hour and I was close to
giving up. I drove and drove till I
reached my destination.
Me: This is it.
I told myself, I drove here the
first time with him directing me.
I should've kept the directions in
my head. I walked on the drive
way, it seems so different when
it's in broad daylight. The
security system seemed so tight.
Me: How am I going to enter?
This man cave of his is just really
something else. I put my hand on
the hand print machine, I hope it
kept my print.
Accepted.
Yes!
The door opened and I went in.
Lazers, argh.
It needed a password.
I put in my second name and it
was accepted, Kwanele is slowly
becoming so predicatable or maybe
I just know him alot more now.
"You're the only one who knows
this place and that your second
name is my password. Now tell
me, what are you doing here?"
It's him. He's here!
Me: Don't ask me that nonsense
Kwanele. You've been gone for a
week, I don't know where you are
and no one knows where you are
and you've been here all this time.
Did you even eat?
Kwanele: If it was under easier
circumstances I'd be happy that
you're here and you're worried
about me and my stomach, It's
cute but now, I'm just angry. Why
are you here?
Me: I came to look for you
Kwanele: Was I lost?
Why is he so rude?
Me: I wouldn't know. You're so
damn rude for no reason. Maybe it
would be better if you were really
lost. I'm leaving
Kwanele: You can't leave. Tell me,
are you covered up?
Me: No
Kwanele: Are you wearing black
clothes?
Me: No, I'm wearing grey.
Kwanele: Damn it.
Me: What is going on Kwanele!
Kwanele: I'm too angry to talk to
you nor even explain what is going
on. You'll listen to me very
carefully Nosipho or else you'll be
in more danger than you already
are right now. Call Simlindile and
tell her to bring you a weave,
make up and all those things you
ladies use to disguise yourself.
Even she should put them on and
look different. Tell her to go to
Max's, she knows where it is. Now
Nosipho.
I did as he said and called Simi.
For some reason she wasn't
clueless nor shaken at all. She
knows alot more than I thought
she does. She said she'll be at
maxs soon.
Me: Is Maxs this place? Does she
know about your man cave?
Kwanele: I did say you're the first
and last girl who knows this place.
Come here
All this time I was standing near
the door and he was a bit far
from me by his desk. I went to
him and stood next him. He also
stood up and held my hand.
Kwanele: I know you looking for
me came from the goodness of
your heart but it might have put
you in danger. Don't worry, you'll
be protected. I love you
Me: I love you too
He kissed me and pulled away. He
wasn't my man, he was just cold
and emotionless.
Kwanele: Now you'll listen to my
instructions very carefully. You'll
leave your phone here and your
car will be burnt
Me: What! No ways
Kwanele: Listen. I'll get you a new
car for now you'll be using any of
my cars.
Me: I have alot of valuable and
important things in my car.
Kwanele: I'll take care of that.
Follow me
I followed him and he gave me a
leather jumpsuit and biker jacket.
Kwanele: Wear these.
I changed and he gave me a
helmet
Me: I don't know how to ride a
bike
He just laughed at me and took
my hand. Atleast he still laughs.
Kwanele: You don't have to ride
one. What you're about to do is
scary and disgusting, you'll walk
down this tunnel, it leads to an old
underground train track, you'll
walk till the end and you'll find a
steel door and that's where you'll
find Simi.
Me: Okay babe.
He kissed me one more time, that
was more like it. I was actually
getting horny.
Kwanele: Go, I'll be back soon.
Me: How long is soon?
Kwanele: Just go Nosipho.
I went down using a ladder and
the tunnel was very dark. There
was a torch on this helmet, I lit
it up and damn was this
disgusting.
Me: Aaah! Kwanele there are
frogs here!
Kwanele: Just go, the faster you
walk the easier this will be.
He closed his end of the tunnel
and it become darker.
Me: I guess I'm on my own now.
I walked, I was very freaked out
and the water here was smelling
and the walls were sticky. I felt
so dirty already. I must've been
walking for 15mins already and I
was still far from this steel door.
This place is disgusting, I can't
hold it in.
I vomited.
Even my vomit seemed to have
disgusted me even more.
I walked till I reached the steel
door and tried to open it.
It's too hard and heavy.
I tried again
And again
And again
Till it opened. I went up the
ladder and Simi was standing
there looking so worried.
Simi: You took your own time damn
it.
Me: Excuse me? Do you know how
long this tunnel is? Don't piss me
off I'm already disgusted.
Simi: And I'm already scared, now
come.
She pulled me up, we were in some
old broken down house. She put on
a very ugly old weave and did her
make up. She looked like a granny
I couldn't help but laugh at the
way she was dressed. She put
sponges on her ass and hips and
to boost her breasts. She looked
completely different
Simi: Sit
She did her magic on me too, we
looked like old grannies.
Simi: We'll take a taxi. Don't even
speak
Me: This is funny.
Simi: This is what happens when
your life is in danger. Are they
safe?
Me: I only saw Kwanele, I don't
know about the others.
She's worried, I am too.
We walked and took a taxi. Simi
spoke, she pulled off a really
great granny voice. I had to hold
in my laughter. We sat at the
back seat. Black cars were
passing by going to the direction
of the house we just came from.
Simi: They were coming for us.
I nodded and the taxi took us to
Vusi's. There was alot of
securities and body guards walking
around. We went inside the house
and the ladies were on their feet.
Simi: We're leaving
Me: We are?
Simi: Yes.
Buhle: Are we in danger?
Me: Maybe.
Khetho: Yes or no
Simi&I: Yes.
We took off the ridiculous clothes
we were wearing, removed the
make up and I took off the very
tight jumpsuit and wore black
jeans and t-shirt with the biker
jacket, I'm keeping it forever.
Me: And where are we going Simi?
Simi: Menzi's safe house. Put your
phones in here
Funeka: Will we get them back?
Me: No, I don't even have a car
anymore.
Simi: Let's go please.
We followed her, she was just
trying so hard to hide that she
was scared but she put on a
brave face and led us. We're all
just scared.
Buhle: We're walking to this
place?
Me: I think so.
Ntombi: I'm so not happy about
this. I hate walking
Khetho: Well right now I don't
think any of us have a choice.
Let's just go
We were literally just walking in
the bushes. It wasn't as far as
we thought it would be.
Khetho: I've been here before
Me: You have?
Khetho: One night Menzi just
woke up and took me here. I was
still sleeping so peacefully and
we.... shit
I guess she realized Buhle is
here.
Damn it. We just all stood and
froze
Buhle: I know.
Khetho: I'm sorry. It's over, I
promise you.
Buhle: I still need to slap you
Khetho: Even a punch is okay.
We laughed it off and went inside
the house.
Me: When did they get here?
The same gaurds that were at
Vusi's were here now.
Simi: I told them to come. Now all
we have to do is stay in this
house and wait till we're told to
leave.
Our clothes were here and almost
everything we needed besides
phones, laptops and all the
electionics we use on a daily.
Funeka: No instagram, this sucks.
Buhle: Big time.
Me: I need to bath. I've been
through the worst today.
They accompanied me to the
bathroom and literally sat with
me as I took a bath.
Ntombi: What happened?
Me: Nothing I was just at the
wrong place at a wrong time. The
only exits way was walking in an
underground filthy tunnel which
had dirty water and frogs. It
was just all disgusting. I don't
know where the either are but
Kwanele seemed unharmed when
I saw him. He was angry though
so that's it.
Khetho: Wow
When I felt clean enough I got
out and got dressed.
Me: So what do we do know?
Ntombi: Let's just sit down,
watch movies and try to distract
ourselves from what's happening.
Buhle: I'll grab some snacks
We sat by the t.v. room and
watched movies while we had
snacks. We were all just deep in
thoughts we weren't paying much
attention to the movie. We all
stood up when we started
hearing gunshots.
Ntombi: Oh God, I'm still too
young for all this.
One of the guards came in and
gave us guns and he walked out.
These ladies seemed clueless as I
put in the bullets in my gun.
Me: Please tell me you know how
to use a gun
They just looked at me.
Me: Simlindile?
Simi: I can't
I just sat down and sighed. I
was the only one who could use a
gun here. My father taught me
how to shoot and it's coming in
handy now. I took two guns and
went out. There was shooting
going on, the gaurds were taking
out a bunch of men who seemed
to be coming here.
Me: Should we leave?
Guard: Yes Mam.
I went back for the ladies and
they followed me.
Khetho: Nosipho! Someones coming
towards us!
I looked and shooted.
Me: Get in the car!
I kept on shooting as Funeka
started the car. I know we're not
really supposed to be using any
car right now but we have to,
there's no way I'm going to run
or walk. I got into the car and
she drove off.
Me: Where are we going to now?
Buhle: I know a place we can go
to. It's not really what you ladies
are used to but it's safe.
Funeka: Anywhere is just fine now,
as long as we're safe.
Simi: Ditch the car. We're being
followed.
Ntombi: I'm not even wearing
shoes.
Me: We cant be seen like this,
people know us now. We can't be
on the streets like this.
Funeka drove off very fast, if we
come across any cops right now
we'll be arrested. I think being in
jail now would be better than
what we're going through.
Me: I hope all this nonsense will
be worth it in the end.
We ditched the car somewhere in
Clermont and walked to the house
Buhle was taking us.
Buhle: This is it.
She knocked and an elderly woman
opened for us. She looked like
Buhle.
Buhle: Sawbona Gogo(Hello Gogo)
Gogo: Buhle ngane yam,
ningangena (Buhle my child, you
may come in.)
We thanked her and got inside the
house. She made us tea and
scones and we sat down and ate.
We introduced ourselves as Buhles
friends.
Gogo: You look like you are in
trouble
Buhle: Something like that. We
need a place to stay for just a
few days.
Gogo: You can stay for as long as
you want. Buhle, I was on my way
to Sphingo, I'll be back tomorrow.
Buhle: Is grandpa okay?
Gogo: I don't know my child, I am
going to see him.
She took her bag and said
goodbye then she left.
Buhle: There's only two rooms
here so we'll have to share beds
Me: Thats okay. I'm not sleeping
with Ntombi though, I wouldn't
sleep all night.
Ntombi: Whatever.
We cooked and just stayed up for
a while. I wonder what happened
to those guards and where on
earth are they. Right now, I
want nothing to do with Kwanele.
I just want to sleep peacefully
and forget about today's events.
Insert 29
Wake up. Wake up!
Me: Mmmmh noo.
And then I felt cold water all
over my face.
I screamed! Who on earth wakes
you up so brutally!?
Me: I'm up
It's Buhle's grandmother, she's
all dressed up and she's waiting
for me to get out of the bed.
Gogo: It is 8am and you are still
sleeping? Go bath.
I nodded and followed her to the
bathroom. Simi came out as I
went in, she also wasn't happy. I
guess she was woken up the
same way I was. I took a bath
and wrapped myself in a towel. I
went back to the room we were
using. My clothes were on the bed
Me: Who brought our clothes
here?
Funeka: I don't know
Me: Oh okay.
I got dressed, I was wondering
how they knew we were here. I
guess they're keeping tabs on us.
I got dressed and went to the
kitchen.
Gogo: Nosipho, cook breakfast
since you were the last to wake
up.
Buhle: Kodwa Gogo, you're being
so harsh.
Gogo: Who will marry her if she
wakes up so late? I want all of
you to get married.
We laughed at her while I
started cooking. She didn't even
allow them to help me. She was
happy when she had her
breakfast, she was even singing.
Gogo: Atleast you didn't burn my
house down.
Me: Is that some sort of
compliment Gogo?
Gogo: Don't push it.
This woman is just something
else, completely different from
Buhle. Her phone rang and she
ignored it.
Funeka: Gogo your phone is
ringing.
Gogo: If it's important that
person will call again.
It did ring again and after three
times she answered it.
Gogo: Uwuban wena uzongifonela
ngisadla?( Who are you, calling me
while I'm still eating?)
She kept on nodding as she spoke
to the phone and she gave it to
me.
Me: Hello
Caller: It's Menzi, where is
Khethokuhle?
Me: Hi, she's here.
Menzi: And Buhle?
Me: Yes
Menzi: Okay, you'll be taken home
in an hour. You should all be ready.
Me: Are you okay?
Menzi: Everyone is okay. We'll
explain later. For now just get
ready.
He ended the call and I told
everyone to be ready. We sat down
and watched tv with Gogo as we
waited.
There was a knock on the door
and some guy came in.
Him: Good morning, I'm looking for
Miss Nosipho Bilose?
Simi: Molo Q
The guy laughed as he saw Simi
and shook his head. I guess they
know each other
Me: I'm Nosipho
Q: I was told to come fetch you
and your friends.
Me: Let's go.
I felt safe leaving with him since
Simi knew him. We've been
through alot so I wouldn't just
trust any guy.
Ntombi: We're leaving in a taxi?
Q: Yes.
Ntombi: Maye
Funeka: Snob.
We laughed and got into the car.
We were taken to the apartment
and the guys were there.
Simi: Home sweet home.
My eyes wondered around and
they landed on Kwanele. He was so
chilled just enjoying his chocolate
bar. I sat next to him and just
kept quiet.
Vusi: Hello ladies, want something
to eat?
Funeka: Do we look starved to
you?
Vusi: Eissh.
Ntethe: Hawu baby you don't
have to be so harsh
Funeka: Excuse me? Wemuntu, you
do not want to get on my bad
books uyezwa?
He whispered a very low sorry
stuffled up with a giggle.
Me: Aren't you going to say
something?
Kwanele: No.
They are all just pissing me off
right now.
Buhle: So no one will explain?
Kwanele: See what you need to
start working on is knowing how
to use weapons. I heard only Nosi
knows how to shoot but still, her
aim is not really that good. It
should be perfect but don't worry
we'll work on that.
Vusi: What you just experienced is
just nothing compared to what
the real world is really like. Let's
just say what you have just
experienced was a little test.
Ntombi: Woah, wait a minute. So
you're telling me that everything
that went down was just a test?
Menzi: Yes.
Me: The dead bodyguards?
Lwazi: No one died.
Ntombi: So it was all just a set
up?
Kwanele: Go get dressed, wear
black or navy. We have a long day
ahead of us.
I felt angry
Most of all, I was confused and
clueless but very angry.
Buhle: Am I the only one who is
holding in a whole lot of anger?
Khetho: Your not alone sister.
Me: Definitely not alone.
Simi was too pissed off to even
speak. It was written all over
her face. I settled for black
leggings, long sleeve shirt which
belongs to Kwanele and his biker
jacket. We went downstairs and
they were waiting for us at the
driveway.
Menzi: You look beautiful in my
brothers clothes
Kwanele: She even smells like me,
I have a feeling she just wants
to be me.
Me: Whatever.
As angry as I was, I couldnt keep
a blind eye to the fact that my
man was damn hot. It was very
awkward right next to me, I
could see how tempted Khetho
was, she wanted to just grab
Menzi but she held herself
together. I know my girl when
she needs some and right now,
she's in deep need. I held her
hand and she laughed. This girl is
just something else. Menzi wasn't
making things easier for her, he
kept checking her out. At that
time Buhle was having a
conversation with Funeka, not
even paying attention to these
two. If only Menzi knew that he
has been dumped by Khetho and
Buhle knows about them.
Lwazi: Let's get going.
Me: And why are we suddenly
using taxi's?
Kwanele: Your man owns taxis so
you have to get used to using one.
Me: My man huh, well my man
disappeared for a week.
Kwanele: And I know you missed
him.
It's not working, him trying to
soften me up isn't working at all.
Maybe it is.
Khetho: You will not leave me,
you'll sit with me and be horny
with me.
Me: You're just crazy
Khetho: I know.
We were on the road for about
3hours. I didn't have any idea of
where we were but it is out of
Durban thats for sure. We were
welcomed by two gentleman
standing by the entrance. They
shook hands with the guys and
we exchanged greetings.
Me: What is this? A boot camp?
Ntethe: Sort off. Take off all
jewellery, weaves and accessorize.
It's about to get muddy, change
into these.
Thando: Take off the heels
Ntombi
Those are the first words she
has uttered ever since we got
home this morning. She seems to
be far away in her own world. We
changed into boots, camoflouge
shorts and green t-shirts.
Simi: I feel like a soldier
Trust Simi to say such.
Kwanele: You have some training
activities to go through today
ladies. This is the first task.
Lwazi: We'll be watching and
keeping you motivated. They sat
down and really just watched.
Kwanele had headphones on, I
guess they are to hear
everything that goes on since he
cannot see. We were left with
these two men and they explained
what we had to do.
Me: I'm not doing this
Buhle: Me too.
Trainer: There's 6 of you so I'm
going to group you into groups of
3. You three ladies are together
and you three are together.
What on earth is this guy doing
to me?
Vusi: Wow
We were able to hear what they
were saying even though they
were far. There were mics
connected here and speakers. It
was Me, Buhle and Khetho in one
group and Funeka, Simi and
Ntombi in the other. What we
had to do is climb up the rope and
jump of to the other side. From
there, we have to pass by big
logs in order to reach a puzzle
which we had to put together.
Trainer: Okay! Your time starts
now!!
Buhle: Push me up
We pushed her up and she held
onto the rope then pulled me up
and I had to pull Khetho up.
Buhle: The rope is cutting my
hands!
Me: Hold on.
I stepped onto her shoulders,
mind you, Khetho was holding onto
her leg and I jumped over.
Khetho did the same and jumped
over too.
Me: Climb up again so we can be
able to pull you.
She did so and we tried pulling
her.
Khetho: You're so heavy!
Buhle: My grandmother fed me.
Let's go, they are getting ahead
of us.
We ran to the fields where there
we logs which we had to jump
over or crawl under. These logs
were in a field full of mud.
Funeka: This is disgusting! No!
Buhle: Jump over
We weren't going to work as a
team here, you were just on your
own climbing logs and falling into
the mud.
Khetho: Why are we being
punished like this? Buhle and
Nosipho, why the fuck are you
just standing there! Move!
Buhle: She's fiesty.
She started moving leaving me
behind. I climbed to first log and
jumped over. Second log, I had to
crawl in the mud and get under it.
Mind you, these were big tree logs
so pushing them wasn't an option.
Buhle: We're almost there come.
Me: I can't, I'm stuck.
My leg was stuck in the mud and
I couldn't move. They came back
for me and pushed it out. We were
finally done with the logs and had
to solve the puzzle.
We were ahead of the others,
Ntombi seemed to be struggling
like I was.
Me: Okay I'm not good at puzzles
Khetho: Me too
Buhle: Me three, we just have to
put pieces together. That should
be easy
Trainer: You have 5minutes left.
The others were working on the
puzzle already. We started
working on it too and we were
pretty much arguing the entire
time.
Buhle: Nosi, just listen and put
this one in. Khetho it would be
really appreciated if you focused.
Khetho: I'm tired
Buhle: We all are.
They passed me the pieces and
told me where to put them.
Trainer: And your time is up!!
Simi: Damn it.
Trainer: Both teams have lost
this challenge. You were not able
to complete this task in time.
Time management is a very
important skill. Keep your head in
the task and know you do not
have much time.
Trainer2: The next task is very
simple. You're about to get
sweaty and dirty.
Me: More mud?
Trainer: Yes mam, and more
water. You have to look for
15ropes in the mud, 5 each. Pull
them and go tie them on those
poles all together you have to pull
up those big three truck wheels.
Do you understand?
We nodded and got into the mud,
this one was more slimy and
disgusting than the first one.
This one even had mudd puddles
and worms.
Khetho: I cannot find any rope.
We got deep into the mud while
just touching and looking for
these ropes.
Me: I found one.
Buhle: Me too, I think I'm
holding two, come take one
Khetho so we can pull and come
back for the next one.
What was tiring was that the
poles were behind us, so we had to
go back and come back.
Me: No! This is hard
Buhle seemed like she was already
crying. I was on the verge of
crying too. This is too much. I
saw Ntombi screaming and
throwing herself in the mud. We
were all just struggling so much
with this task.
Funeka: And he said it was
simple!!
We tied the each of our first
ropes and went back to find the
others. I was on my third rope
when it cut my nail. I just sat
down and cried.
Me: I can't do this anymore
"Yes you can. Tell me, why are you
crying?"- It was Kwanele, I could
hear his voice. Did it come from
my t-shirt?
Argh, we had small mics and
earphones connected to us.
Me: We have mics and earphones
connected, I thought I was being
loosing my mind.
That made me cry more. I saw
the others putting them on too.
Khetho: Shut the fuck up Vusi
She was pissed off. I guess her
mic was connected to Vusi's,
Buhle's connected to Menzi. I
guess that pissed her off.
Me: Kwanele
"I asked you a question"
Me: I'm crying because it is all
just getting too much for me. I'm
not strong enough
"That is incorrect. Stop crying and
do your task. There's no such
thing as not being strong enough.
You are stronger than you think,
stop saying you can't do it and
start saying you can."- Kwanele
I nodded and stood up then looked
for the forth rope. Khetho had
tied up all her ropes while Buhle
and I were behind. She waited
and we tied up the 5th one. Then
we pulled together and the
wheels were very heavy but we
managed to pull up the first one.
Khetho had just became so silent,
it was pretty awkward now cause
Buhle and I could see that she
was upset and just doing this so
effortlessly, I guess her anger is
giving her more strength, she
literally pulled up the second wheel
on her own.
Buhle: I don't like that she's
angry but its working to our
advantage too. Why is she angry?
I just looked at her and moved
my shoulders as a sign to show
her I don't know. But I had a
little clue, Buhle seemed like she
did too. We pulled the third wheel
up. And we actually finished the
third challenge first and in time.
Khetho sat down and I sat next
to her as we waited for the
others.
Buhle: I'll go get some water.
Me: Why are you angry Khetho?
Khetho: It's stupid I know, I
was hoping to hear Menzi's voice.
Hoping that he'd be helping me
and motivating me through this
task when I heard Buhle talk to
him, I just wished it was me but
it wasn't. She's the girlfriend and
I am the side chick, well was. I
haven't broken up with him but I
will.
Me: I'm sorry friend. Why do I
feel like you've caught feelings?
Khetho: I have, I love him but I
have to let him go.
She laughed and held my hand.
Buhle came with the water
bottles.
Buhle: I hope this will make you
feel better.
Khetho: Thank you.
Trainer1: Well done on the second
challenge. The final challenge for
the day is the easiest.
Ntombi: You mean the hardest.
Trainer: You have 5 minutes to
look at these tires and how
they've been put into place. You
will have to collect the flags that
have been put up near some tiles
and walk over till the end.
Khetho: That's easy.
Trainer: You will do that, blind
folded.
Simi: You've got to be kidding.
Trainer: The mics please, no one
will be guiding you. You have to
memorize this and do it all on your
own. The 5minutes starts now.
We were all focused and looking at
these wheels and how they were
set up. "Kwanele always calculates
his steps when he walks, he gets
familiar with the place in just one
go. Maybe if I just know the
patten in my head and calculate
how many steps I have to walk
till I reach each flag"- I thought
to myself and calculated.
Trainer1: Your 5minutes is up.
Stand in your positions please.
We stood where we were supposed
to, there was no team work this
time. We all had to be on our own.
We were blindfolded, it was very
dark I felt like I was going to
fall.
Trainer: You have 15mins, your
time starts now.
I stood for a minute or two just
trying to remember. I took the
first step and I fell.
Me: Fuck, this is harder than I
thought.
I stood up and tried again. Go
left, step into the wheel. 1,2,3,
grab a flag. I told myself that
and calculated in my head. It
worked! I got the first flag.
Go right, take 6 steps into the
tires and grab a flag. I fell on
the third step but stood up and
continued. I seemed to be getting
it right. I had 5 flags and 10
more to go.
Me: Focus Nosi, Focus.
By my calculations I had took all
the flags and was moving
towards the end.
Trainer1: You have just one
minute left.
I took three more steps and my
chin hit the ground. I fell again, I
just laid there and waited.
Trainer1: Times up!!
Buhle: Take this thing off me!
They took off our blindfolds and I
wasn't the only one who was on
the ground. Buhle fell right into
the tires and she was just sitting
there carrying two flags.
Trainer2: I have the scores of
this task. Buhle collected 2flags,
Simi has 4, one doesnt belong to
her track so she has 3.
We all had different coloured
flags, she has a red flag which
belonged to Khetho. That means
she walked into Khetho's path of
wheels.
Trainer2: And then Funeka has 5
flag, Ntombi has 7, Khetho has
10, and the winner is Miss Nosi
with 13.
Me: Yey!!! But what happened to
the other two, I thought I had
them all.
Trainer1: You passed two flags on
the way.
Me: Such a bummer.
Trainer: That is it for today, you
were wonderful to work with
ladies. Follow me to the restrooms
so you can freshen up.
Simi: Where are these dorks who
took us to this torturing
experience?
Trainer: They'll be waiting for you
at the head quarters for a late
lunch.
We went to shower and changed
into our clothes.
Buhle: My legs hurt so much. And
I'm hungry
Funeka: Are we all done? Let's go
We went to where they were
seating. Buhle went to sit next to
Vusi, passing Menzi and leaving
space for Khetho to sit next to
Menzi. Khetho looked at her and
she shrugged. She sat down and
I sat next to Kwanele, I was in
between him and Lwazi.
Vusi:(clears throat) May someone
bless the food? I feel like we need
some prayer around here.
He was really trying so hard to
hold in his laughter. I feel like he
is the one who creates these
awkward moments, we're both
just very over observant. Thando
blessed the food and we dugg in. I
was feeding Kwanele while eating,
I realized us sharing a plate
makes things a whole lot easier
Kwanele: So, you won the blind
task?
Me: Yes, I am inlove with a blind
man so I have to represent.
Being around you has taught me
alot, which helped me win that
task.
He squeezed my hand and I
kissed his cheek.
Simi: Why were we just brutally
tortured?
Lwazi: It wasn't torture it was
training. Plus you look fine to me
Me: I broke my nail Lwazi
Khetho: I'm limping
Buhle: My leg hurts
Funeka: My arm hurts
Ntombi: My knee got injured
Simi: My entire body is hurt and I
hated each and every task.
Menzi: Cry babies
Buhle threw a bun in his face and
we all just laughed.
Menzi: If you want a food fight,
I'm up for the challenge
Me: There's no way you're going
to waste such good food.
Ntethe: Honestly, I am
impressed. As much as you were
complaining and crying, you
completed every task. You were
able to work on your own and as
teams. There are times where
you'll be attacked by an enemy and
you're on your own, you have to
know how to fight and protect
yourself and don't depend on
anyone. There are times where
you will have to work as a team in
order to defeat your enemy. This
is all just a way to prepare you
for the future. This is for your
own good and protection. You're
known in the world for doing
something great, you will make
enemies along the way and you
should know how to defeat them.
Things will be worse once our
enemies know about you and you
have to be prepared.
All of this was for the best and
was for our own protection. They
went on and on briefing us about
the business. We were all just told
about the diamond business and
we were told the only way out of
this friendship circle and business
is death. We have just got
ourselves involved with men who
are not willing to let us go in any
way. Just knowing about the
business is knowing too much
already, you're in and there's no
way out. We won't be directly
involved in it but we have to know
the ins and outs incase of
emergencies. I've never seen
Kwanele so serious about
something and we listened
carefully. This is what they
meant when they spoke about us
knowing about everything when
the right time has come. This is
their life and they are introducing
it to us.
Thando: Let's go, we have one
more stop to go to and we're done
for the day.
Khetho: I need to talk to you
Menzi
Buhle: We'll swop seats in the car.
Menzi nodded, he did seem a bit
confused. Buhle sat next to me
and I took this opportunity to
just ask.
Me: How do you feel about
knowing that Khetho was
involved with Menzi?
Buhle: It was obvious that there
was another woman in Menzi's life
but I didn't know it was Khetho
nor did I even have any suspicions
that it would be her. When I
found out, I was hurt but being
dramatic about it wasn't
something I was going to do.
Thats not me, plus I like Khetho.
I wouldnt want a guy getting in
between the friendship we've just
had. I like Menzi alot, but not
enough to loose a friend.
Me: Wow. So you mean you'd chose
Khetho over Menzi?
Buhle: I won't have to choose. He
has to, but what I know is that
I won't stop being friends with
Khetho because of Menzi's stupid
actions.
Me: Would you date him if he said
he wanted to be with the both of
you?
Buhle: I'm not about that life.
He has to choose and I'll be okay
with whatever decision he has to
make. Khetho deciding to end
things with Menzi might give us
a chance to just all start over in a
clean path without this drama.
I nodded and we arrived at a
shooting range.
Simi: Wow, now this is exciting!
Me: Yes it is.
We went inside and we were
taught about different kinds of
guns and how to handle them. I
got a moment with Khetho
Me: How did it go?
Khetho: He didn't take it well but
he understood and we reached an
agreement. He even apologized.
Me: So he's with Buhle now?
Khetho: Yes, I'm taking a step
back. I didn't tell him to choose
and all, no. She had him first and
it's only fair. Plus, I got into this
knowing where I stand.
Me: I guess this is a good, bad
and peaceful ending.
Khetho: One of us was bound to
get hurt in the end. It shouldn't
have been Buhle, she was
innocent in all this and we played
with her feelings. From now
onwards things will be different,
Menzi and I will have a genuine
friendship. Buhle deserves to be
happy.
Me: Okay babes. You know I'm
there, well we're all here when
you need someone to talk to. And
I'll buy you a dildo when you need
to release.
Khetho: I'll shoot you.
Me: You can't even shoot.
Khetho: But I will now, I'm at a
shooting range remember?
After being briefed about guns
we had to start shooting. I was
taught all about aiming and
seeing the perfect opportunity
while the others were being
taught how to shoot.
Kwanele: Buttercup
Me: Pickle
He held me from behind and he's
boner was all over my ass.
Kwanele: You have something to
take care off tonight
Me: God gave you hands
Kwanele: And he gave me a
beautiful dark skinned woman who
can take care of my needs.
Me: Oh is it now?
Kwanele: Yes, my Buttercup.
Me: Then I shall aim to please
you my pickle.

Insert 30.
Kwanele's POV.
Nosi: Kwanele move! I need to
pee.
I could hear her but I honestly
did not want to move. Having her
wrapped up in my arms is the
best thing ever, if we could stay
like this for the rest of our lives
I'd be in a happy place.
I still feel sleepy, very sleepy but
she keeps on shuffling.
Me: Stop kicking me.
Nosi: I want to go pee, let me go.
I sighed and let her go. I heard
her stomping footsteps, she was
running to the bathroom. If only
I could see her run, chase her
around the house and get to see
her pretty face. But I can only
just wish.
If I could just get to see her
face, I would happy even if it
meant it was the last thing I
get on earth. I'd die peacefully
knowing that I got a chance to
see the face of the woman who
has loved me whole heartedly and
made me love her whole heartedly.
She laid her head on my chest and
kissed it.
Nosi: Good morning my pickle,
what do you want for breakfast?
Me: You
She giggled, her laugh makes me
feel alot of ways.
All in all, everything about her
just makes me love her more and
more everyday.
We made love.
I was pouring my heart out to
her in a way I've never done
before.
She was moaning and holding onto
me for dear life.
Me: I love you MaNdelu
Nosi: I love you too Gagashe
When we were done we went to
take a shower.
She helped me get dressed, she
loves to do this. She knows I can
do it myself but she still does it.
I stopped being upset about it,
at first I just felt like it makes
me feel less or a man and she's
making me feel helpless. But now
I know she does it out of the
goodness of her heart. We went
downstairs and had breakfast
Me: I'm going to work with you
Menzi: No you not.
Nosi: You look like shit.
Menzi: I feel like shit.
Me: And what is going on with
you?
He wrapped his arms over my
shoulders, he likes doing that
when he is hurt. I let him be, in a
way that is how he tells me that
he is hurt.
Nosi: This is cute, let me leave
you to this bromance. I'm off
Menzi: Tell Khetho I said hi
Nosi: Will do.
Me: You can get off me now and
start talking.
Menzi: Come, we're going to mom's
beach house.
Me: She's here? I don't want to
go, you can go alone.
Menzi: She wants to see the both
of us, now come before I carry you
out of here. I'm using the I'm
older key here, stand up Kwanele.
Me: Fuck you. You know I don't
like being around mom and you do.
Menzi: She's our mother.
Me: I know.
He drove off while I leaned on
the window and took my glasses
off.
I used to do this all the time,
when I was young everyone knew
that the seat near the window
was mine at all times. I would
lean on the window and imagine
everything that Menzi told me
we're passing by.
Menzi: We're by the harbour
He remembered.
We used to do this all the time.
When he went away for school,
those we're the most boring days
of my life and I was stuck with
mom. At times Thando would try
and do the things we did with
Menzi, but we argued alot so she
wasn't like Menzi.
Menzi: We're home and she's
waiting by the door.
We got out of the car and I
walked to the front door.
Mom: Menzi!! Kwanele!! Oh how I
missed my sons.
Menzi: We missed you too mom.
No I didn't.
And there she goes, that's why I
didn't miss her.
She kisses me and hugs me, trust
me, it's not a hug it's a squeeze.
Me: Mom
She cried and kissed my forehead.
She always does this, all the time.
She holds my hand, that I don't
like.
She likes holding my hand and
walking me around like I can't do
it myself.
You might think I dislike my mom
but no, I love her so much. She's
my heaven and earth, the first
woman I ever loved and will
always love. But I hate how she
babies me. She treats me like I'm
still a 5 year old.
Mom: My baby, did you eat?
Me: Yes I'm full
Mom: Menzi?
Menzi: I'm hungry.
Mom: I'll cook something quick for
you. So what is going on with you
my boys? You sounded so sad on
the phone Menzi, is everything
okay?
Menzi: Khethokuhle broke up with
me, she left me. Its over
Mom: Oh my son, I'm so sorry.
There were sniffs and he's voice
had changed.
Me: Are you crying? Thank God I
lived till the day he cries for a
woman. Where on earth is
Kwenzokuhle so he can see this?
I laughed at him and mom hit my
shoulder.
Me: Ouch
Mom: Do not laugh at your
brother.
Me: I'm not laughing because he
was dumped, I'm laughing
because he cried.
Mom: Apologize to your brother
Me: Sorry
Menzi: Mom that was barely even
an apology.
Me: I won't apologize again if
that's what you want. Well you
should look on the brighter side,
someone was bound to get hurt in
the end. And you did, you still have
Buhle so focus on her and don't
ruin their friendship.
Mom: You have another girlfriend?
I only knew Khetho.
Me: Let me fill you in dear mother,
your dearest son whom you think
is very innocent was dating
friends. He was dating Khetho
yes, but he is with Buhle too.
Same time
Mom: Menzi Zondi!!
Menzi: Mom, they weren't friends
when it all started. They are
friends now and that's why
Khetho broke up with me. In a
way, she chose Buhle over me. I
guess she didn't love me that
much.
Mom: I didn't know you could be
such an idiot son. But hey, you'll
figure it out on your own. Focus on
healing and this relationship with
Buhle. You do need to get married
in less than 6months.
Menzi: I know
Mom: And you too Kwanele.
Me: I know mom.
Menzi: You should be buying a ring.
You are in a perfect relationship.
Mom: When are you bringing her
home to meet me?
Me: When the time is right, in the
meantime, please stop stalking
her.
Mom: I'm not
Me: I know you mom, I know you.
We had lunch, she ended up
feeding me even though I said I
wasn't hungry. She never listens
to me, especially when it comes to
my wellbeing. We were finally on
our way back to the house and I
couldn't be more happier. All I
needed was some rest and to hear
my woman's voice.
Menzi: I'm going to sleep
Me: Me too.
We went to our separate rooms
and I took my call monitor and
called Nosi but it went to
voicemail.
She might be busy.
Someone laid their heavy body on
my bed and I knew it was Menzi.
Me: And then?
Menzi: I'm sleeping with my
brother, I'm heart broken and I
can't sleep on my on. Come closer
Me: This is so gay
Kwenzo: And it will be worse.
Make space for me, let's
bromance.
And where did he come from? I
don't know. But what I do know
is that my brothers are annoying.
#Nosipho.
Khetho: Shit!! Everything is just
not in order today!
Me: Hello to you too and damn you
look like a mess, just like Menzi
Khetho: You saw him? How is he?
Me: He is a mess, like I just said.
Come sit down and I'll get you
some coffee
Khetho: Simi went to get it. I'll
be fine I just need strong strong
coffee.
Me: Soooooo.....
Khetho: What?
Me: Are you okay?
Khetho: No
Simi: What she wants to know is
why are you like this? But I
think its pretty obvious, you're
inlove and heartbroken. Here's
your coffee, it's strong as you
requested.
Khetho: I didn't know leaving him
would affect me this much, he
usually calls everyday in the
morning but he didn't today, and
then it clicked, we're over. It
hurts.
Me: I'm sorry, you'll be okay.
Gosh, I need to pee.
I ran to the toilet and did my
business, I had little blood spots
on my underwear.
Me: That's strange, I shouldn't
be on my periods today.
I put a panty liner and washed
my hands.
Funeka: Good morning good people.
And ugly Khetho, did you even
bath?
Khetho: Fuck you.
We laughed at her
Me: Ouch!
Simi: What is it?
Me: I'm just feeling some pain
nothing much. Maybe it's period
pains
Khetho: Drink some water
Me: I have a bottle of water in
my bag. Kwanele always makes
sure I drink water first thing in
the morning and have it in my
bag. He says I should always be
hydrated.
Funeka: So cute
I drank the water and went to
my office. It just felt worse and
I was sweating.
Breath in
Breath out.
I couldnt, I screamed so loud I'm
sure the entire block heard my
scream.
Funeka: Okay, we're taking you to
the doctor. Simi! Get the car
ready, Khetho help me carry her.
Me: I... I.. can walk..
Khetho: She's damn heavy, hold
onto my shoulder.
I did so and they literally pulled
me to the car. I was feeling a
little weak and we got into the
car. When we got to the doctor I
was feeling a bit better but I
was jut weak.
Dr: Miss Bilose, come in.
He is Dr Pitso, my family doctor.
They laid me on the bed and I
relaxed.
Dr: What's wrong?
Me: I saw little blood spots on my
underwear and I started feeling
pain. And I felt sweaty and weak.
Dr: I'll be back just now.
He went out and came back in
about 2minutes.
Dr: Please help her take off her
pants and underwear.
Khetho helped me and he covered
me up.
Dr: Open your legs
Me: This feels so weird.
He put his hand on my vagina and
kept on feeling it and pressing
some parts.
Dr: Mmmh, get dressed. I need
some blood tests and for you to
take this pregnancy tests.
Me: I'm not pregnant
Dr: I didn't say you are.
Simi: Just take the tests Nosi.
He took my blood and I took the
pregnancy test and he left saying
he'll be back soon.
Funeka: Should I call Kwanele?
Me: No, there's no need to call
him.
We waited and waited for about
an hour and he came back.
Dr: Have you been taking any
prevention pills?
Me: Yes but its been a while since
I did.
Dr: The tests here show you've
been taking shots regularly, even
twice a day.
Me: That's impossible
Dr: In the form of liquid, it is
very dangerous to do that. What
you've been using could've done
alot of damage to your womb.
Me: But I haven't been taking
anything especially in the form of
liquid. It can't be
Dr: You lucky it hasn't done much
damage to your baby but we have
to monitor the baby very closely
any harm can be very dangerous.
Me: A baby?
Dr: Yes, you're pregnant Miss
Bilose. It's been three weeks.
Wow.
I'm having a baby.
I drank water and I felt the
pain again.
Dr: Please give me that bottle.
Me: Okay
He went out with it and Simi
kept on making funny baby faces.
Me: Stop it
Simi: What? You're going to be a
mother now, you should get used
to these faces. I'm planning the
baby shower
Khetho: No, I am.
They argued so much it just made
me laugh.
Me: Since you're both arguing,
Funeka will plan the babyshower
Them: Oh Hello no.
Funeka: Thank you mommy.
The doctor came back
Dr: Just as I suspected, the
shots were put into water and
that's how you are constantly
drinking it and it damages your
womb.
I felt my world crumbling into
little pieces.
I've never felt so broken and so
upset.
Me: Thank you Dr.
Dr: You have to come in next week
so we can do a check up on the
baby. I would advise you to come
on a weekly basis because your
baby might be in danger.
Funeka: She will come. I'll make
sure of that.
We went to the car and she drove
straight to Kwanele's house. I
guess they also figured it out.
Funeka was the first to come out
the care and she was more than
angry. She was breathing fire.
Funeka: You stupid ass!
She literally jumped on him and
threw in three punches. Menzi
and Vusi held her back, she was
screaming.
Kwanele: What the fuck is wrong
with you Funeka?
Funeka: I hate you!
Me: Leave
Ntethe: What is going on?
Me: All of you, just leave! Kwanele,
sit down.
Khetho: Come, let's give them
some space. We'll be outside.
I went upstairs to his safe and
took out his gun
Kwanele: My safe just opened,
please, tell me what on earth are
you doing and why?
Me: Why have you been poisoning
me!
Kwanele: Poisoning you? I haven't
been doing that.
Me: The water you always insist
on giving me, what does it contain
inside Kwanele?
Kwanele: Pregnancy prevention
dose, I knew you weren't taking
any prevention pills or any morning
afters. I don't want you to get
pregnant so I took matters in my
own hands.
Me: And damage my womb!!
Kwanele: That way, we'll never
have babies babe. I told you I
don't want any babies
Me: You are one sick and crazy
man! Are you listening to yourself!
I shot his knee and he screamed.
Menzi and Lwazi came in and I
pointed the gun at them.
Me: Don't you dare come close to
me or him!
Menzi: A bullet is very dangerous
especially for him, please let us
take it out.
Me: I'm pregnant Kwanele
Kwanele: What!
Me: Your stupid doses didn't work
but they're putting our babies
live in danger
Kwanele: I don't want any baby.
Me: Excuse me?
Kwanele: Get rid of it
Gunshot!
Gunshot!
I don't know where I shot him
but I did. I left while he was
screaming in pain.
Me: Let's go
Buhle: I'll drive.
I don't know when she and
Ntombi got here and I don't care.
She drove off to Simi's house and
I was just silent all the way.
Ntombi: You have to eat
something
Me: I'm not hungry
Buhle: You need to eat, it's for
your own good and your baby needs
food. I'll cook, I need something
to distract me
Me: And what is wrong with you?
Buhle: Menzi broke up with me.
Simi: Today is just a bad day.
Khetho: You can say that again.
We gathered in the kitchen while
Buhle and Khetho cooked. The
conversation distracted me abit
but still, my mind was stuck on
Kwaneles words.
I knew he didn't want a baby but
I had hope he'd change his mind
when he knows that I'm
pregnant. What he did was just
unacceptable and so
heartbreaking. It something I
never thought he would ever do.
I fell inlove with a blind man, I
fell inlove with the devil himself.

Insert 31
#Kwanele
I was in excruciating pain, she
shot me twice on my leg and once
on my shoulder. If she was as evil
as I am she would've killed me. I
don't know how I'm feeling but I
know I hate myself.
I hate how things turned out.
It wasn't the plan at all. I guess
I took decisions thinking it will
help me but it only made things
worse. I don't know where I
stand in her life now but I know
she will choose that baby over me.
How did it happen though? How
did she get pregnant?
I was telling the truth when I
said I don't want that baby, I
don't want any child.
A child that I will never be able
to see? What kind of a father will
I even be when I'm just blind? I
don't want any child mostly
because it is highly possible that,
that baby will be blind. I do not
wish blindness even on my
greatest enemy, how much more
will it be when my own child is
blind. I do not want this life on
my child.
There were loud noises, I knew
my father has arrived.
Menzi: Gagashe, please do not do
anything stupid.
Gagashe: WeMenzi, sengatshelwa
uwena ukuth ngenzen futhi
ngingenzi ini?( Menzi, You tell me
what to do and what not to do
now?)
Menzi: Cha baba
Gagashe: Manje? Usuzibona
umdala Menzi? Sekuqine
amasende?( Now? You see
yourself as a grown up? Your balls
have grown huh?)
He kept quiet and my father
barged in my room. I think my
door broke.
Gagashe: Ngabe ngazala
iziphukuphuku zodwa yini?( Did I
birth idiots only?)
We remained silent and I could
feel he was standing over me. I
screamed as he pressed onto my
wound. It was bleeding and he
was squeezing it.
Me: Yobe Gagashe!
Gagashe: You shouldn't be
apologizing to me. You did not
harm me in any way but you have
embarrased me. You are a
disgrace. Manyala mani lawa
owenzayo mfana?( What rubbish
is this you're doing boy?)
I didn't respond but just took the
pain as it came. He didn't stop
pressing into my wounds. He was
even using my rod to press onto
the one on my leg. I'm sure these
sheets are full of my blood.
Gagashe: Sukuma mfana(Stand
up boy)
What the?
How does he expect me to stand
up when I'm in so much pain? I
can barely even walk properly.
Menzi helped me up but he
received a hotslap
Gagashe: Were you helping him
when he was busy ontop of that
girl? Were you helping him when
he poisoned the poor girl?
Menzi: No father
Gagashe: Now why are you
helping him now? Sukuma uzimele
kwedini, angithi usuyindoda?(
Stand up on your own boy, you're a
man now right?)
I stood up and followed his scent,
it was painful but I had to be
strong and don't fall, I know if I
fall he will hit me. He kept on
walking around the house on
purpose, he knows I'm in pain and
this is punishment. He wants me
to fall so he can hit me.
Gagashe: I see you are still
standing
Me: Yes I am Gagashe.
Gagashe: Sit down.
I sat down atlast. Menzi was
somewhere next to me, so was
Kwenzo and Lwazi.
Gagashe: Now tell me, what were
you thinking?
Me: I wasn't thinking, it was
selfish of me and I did it for my
own reasons.
Gagashe: What are those stupid
reasons?
Me: I don't want a child. I don't
want to have a child which I will
not see ever in my life. It's hard
now that I have a woman I love
but I'll never be able to see, how
much more will it hurt when
there's a baby involved. And
theres a high possibility that he
will be born blind, I don't want my
child to live the life I am living. I
don't want my child to feel the
pain I am feeling and to keep on
having wishes which will never
ever happen. Being blind is hard,
I don't want my child to go
through that.
Gagashe: Did I ever damage your
mothers womb?
Me: No baba
Gagashe: Did I tell her to get rid
of you because theres a possibility
that you will be blind?
Me: No baba
Gagashe: Did I tell her to get rid
of you when you eventually got
blind?
Me: No baba
Gagashe: Did I abandon you and
love you less?
Me: No. But you are not blind
baba, you do not know how it feels
and what I go through everyday.
You get to see your wife everyday,
when she beautifully dressed,
naked, mad, smiling, laughing and
singing, you get to see her
everyday. You get to go out
publicly with her without worrying
about having to have her feed
you in public. You get to see your
kids, from the day we were born
till now, you can see us. I do not
and will never be able to. You and
I are different and you will not
understand how I feel.
Gagashe: Ngiyakuzwa ngane
yami, ngiyakuzwa ngempela.( I
hear you my child). But that
doesn't mean that you should do
what you did. Did you think about
the long term consequences? I'm
telling you mfana wam, you have
lost that girl. Lengane
yakwaBilose will want nothing to
do with you and I do not blame
her. Womb damage, is permanent
not temporary. When she meets
someone who loves her more than
you do, who wants to have kids,
what will she do? She will be seen
as less of a woman because of
your doings. Bafana bam, you do
not do such things and you most
definitely do not take such
decisions for your woman.
Them: Yebo baba
Gagashe: I wouldnt even blame
her if she had killed you.
Me: Baba I'm your son
Gagashe: And what about my
grandchild who's life is at risk?
I kept quiet.
Gagashe: Now this is what will
happen, I will go see MaNdelu and
talk to her, I will advise her to
leave you and never look back.
Me: Baba
Gagashe: Don't interrupt me
while I'm speaking. I will call for
a meeting with her family and you
will pay for the damages you have
caused. You will pay for damaging
her womb and making her
pregnant. Am I clear?
Me: Yes father
Gagashe: I am leaving now.
We stood up
Us: Gagashe omkhulu
We stood and remained silent for a
while.
Lwazi: He is gone.
I sat down and Vusi attended to
my wounds.
Vusi: Baba is too hectic
Me: You can say that again
Lwazi: You also just fucked up big
time Kwanele
Me: I know.
That I know very well and I'll
spend the rest of my life
regretting the decision I made
and those I am yet to make.
#Nosi
I don't know how I feel. I don't
know if this is heartbreak or
what but what I feel is more
than pain. I cannot describe how
I feel and most of all, I cannot
even stand up, I feel weak. I feel
like a big part of me is missing, I
feel empty yet there's something
growing in my stomach.
Something so precious and that
I'm willing to protect with every
fibre of my body and everything
that I have.
Ntombi: Get up, I called your
mom. She's going to come
tomorrow, she's out of the
country.
Me: Okay
Ntombi: Get up and bath
Me: I don't want to
Ntombi: I wasn't even asking you
She literally carried me
Me: Okay!! Put me down!!
She put me down and I went to
bath, she was there watching
me. I don't know why though. She
helped me get dressed, she was
over doing it. I went back to bed
and she brought me food.
Me: Thank you
As much as I didn't want to eat,
I had to eat. My baby has to eat
something. Khetho came running
in like she's just seen a ghost.
Khetho: The scary man is here
Me: What scary man?
Khetho: Funeka's father, he's
here.
Gagashe? What is he doing here?
Why am I still in bed? I quickly
stood up and fixed myself. I looked
at the mirror and I looked like a
mess. Anyways, I don't have to
impress him anymore I am not
with his son. He knocked and we
went to the lounge while Funeka
opened for her dad.
Funeka: Baba, you may come in.
Gagashe: Linda uma wakho
ntokazi(wait for your mother my
daughter), she is still on the
phone. He came to the lounge and
greeted. We stood up and greeted
him too. Funeka came in with her
mom, I've seen her on pictures in
Kwanele's house. She is more
beautiful than she is on pictures.
She looked at me and just cried,
why is she crying?
Her: Come here Nosipho
She knows my name?
Ofcause she knows your name
man, you dated her son. I went to
her and she hugged me. She cried
while holding me so tightly, her
hug was not a hug, it was a
squeeze. A very tight squeeze
Gagashe: MaMzobe, you will
suffocate the child, let her go.
MaMzobe: I'm sorry
I smiled and went to sit down.
She sat next to me and held my
hand.
Funeka: Don't mind her, she's just
too much sometimes, well more of
a softie and cry baby. She babies
everyone too.
MaMzobe: You're talking about me
like I'm not even here Funeka.
She laughed and she was serious
again. Khetho and I kept on
looking at each other, we were
very scared and freaked out.
Buhle was just sitting in the
corner looking as child as ever, so
was Simi. I wanted to giggle at
the thought that crossed my
mind, Buhle and Khetho are
meeting the in-laws both at the
same time. Well, ex- inlaws for the
three of us.
MaMzobe: What is your name?
She was looking at Buhle.
Buhle: My name is Buhle mah
She nodded, she seemed to be
thinking. I guess she knows the
story. Suddenly Buhle looked
freaked out, even her cheeks
turned red.
Gagashe: Would you young girls
excuse us? I want to speak to
MaNdelu
They nodded and went to
Ntombi's room.
Gagashe: How are you holding up?
Me: I'm fine.
Thats a lie.
Gagashe: I know you're not being
truthful. But you will speak when
you are ready young one. I am
sorry for what you are going
through, it is all because of my
stupid son. I will not make up
excuses for him and expect you to
forgive him, I am in support of
anything you decide. I even told
him I will advise you to leave him
and never look back because what
he did is unforgivable.
MaMzobe: Hawu baba
Hawu what? Why do I feel like
she is protecting Kwanele? It's
her son anyways, she's bound to
protect him.
Gagashe: You always baby that
boy, but this time you cannot. He
has gone to far. Thank you for
shooting him, if I were you I
would've shot his penis.
I laughed, I couldn't hold it in.
MaMzobe: I once shot him too, I
aimed right next to his penis, he
was so shocked and scared. I was
pregnant with Funeka and he had
cheated on me. I taught him a
lesson.
Gagashe: A lesson I will never
ever forget my love. I was
always a naughty boy, that
changed when I met MaMzobe,
well it didn't completely change
but hey, when she shot me. It
changed completely. She didn't
talk to me or even touch me for 4
months, worst 4 months of my
life.
It seemed so unbelievable, it was
unbelievable that they are
actually having this conversation
with me.
Gagashe: My child, I know you
might not want to see Kwanele
right now but it has to happen.
Where are your parents?
Me: Out of the country, they will
be back tomorrow.
Gagashe: I need to speak to
them, please give me your
father's number and I will
contact him. Tomorrow night, I
will come here with that boy and
he will pay the damages.
Everything will be discussed
tomorrow
Me: Yebo baba
I gave him my fathers number
and my mothers.
Gagashe: Ngiyabonga ke
MaNdelu, isiyobonana kusasa
(Thank you MaNdelu, we shall see
each other tomorrow.)
He stood up and MaMzobe
continued sitting down. He looked
at her and she looked at me.
Gagashe: Hawu, wase
wancamathela esihlalweni?
Asihambe Nkosikazi( And, you're
glued to the chair? Let's go my
wife)
MaMzobe: Ngeke, angihambi mina
baba. Ngizobuya ntambama
noFuneka. Uhambe kahle. (No, I
am not leaving. I will come back in
the afternoon with Funeka. Go
well)
Gagashe:(laughs) Goodbye then,
do not miss me too much.
He left, all this time his
bodyguards were standing by the
door. They followed him and he
was gone. The girls came back to
the lounge and we watched TV
MaMzobe: I'm hungry, order lots
of food Funeka.
She seemed excited as she took
her mom's phone and card.
Funeka: When mom says order lots
of food, she means lots of food.
She has an appetite for days!
Buhle: I'm excited
Ntombi: So am I
It was indeed lots of food that
she had ordered. From burgers,
pizza's, fries, chicken, stake and
veges. We were stuffing our
mouths with each and everything
we desired.
MaMzobe: So Buhle and Khetho,
you were both dating Menzi?
I chocked.
I wasn't expecting it.
She doesn't have timing at all.
Buhle: Yebo ma
She nodded. She has long
eyelashes, she blinks alot. She
looked like she was deep in
thoughts.
MaMzobe: And you're both his ex's
now?
Khetho: Yes, I broke up with him
and he broke up with Buhle.
MaMzobe: Mmmh.
She didn't seem like she was done
with the interrogation. Why does
she keep pushing? She should ask
everything she wants to know
and stop making this awkward
MaMzobe: Sooooo....
We all looked at her, she knows
how to make the room feel very
intense and hectic, she's just like
her husband.
MaMzobe: How is the campaign
going? I'd love to contribute and
be involved too.
Khetho: Really? That would be
great and we'd be very honoured.
The campaign is going really
great, better than we expected.
MaMzobe: I have a sawing
business which I'm about to open,
I will train and hire 20 woman
from each of the shelters.
Me: Wow that is amazing, thank
you very much mah.
MaMzobe: I'm glad I can help. So
what movies are we watching? I
want something romantic,
something that will make me cry.
Funeka: Oh mom, no. You know
how emotional you get when you
watch those kind of movies.
MaMzobe: It's romantic, anything
with romance is supposed to make
you feel emo.
Me: Emo? Hehe ay we'll watch
ma's romantic movie so she can be
emo.
Buhle: I have some on Netflix, let
me go get my laptop in my car so
we can connect it to the tv and
have a movie day.
My phone rang and it was
Kwanele
Me: Excuse me.
I went to the porch outside and
answered.
Kwanele: Nosipho
Me: Hi
Kwanele: Are you okay?
Me: Yes
Kwanele: Did my father come
there?
Me: Yes
Kwanele: May I please have a
word with you alone after the
meeting please?
Me: Okay.
He sighed, I was only giving him
one word answers. He is lucky I
even answered the phone.
Me: Are you done?
Kwanele: Yes but....
I hung up.
I went back to the lounge and
enjoyed some chicken feet, they
were spicy and tasty. I love them
so much.
We are half way throughout the
movie and she was already crying
so much, I couldnt help but just
laugh at her. She was so serious
and it was a fun thing to watch.
I ended up watching her instead
of watching the movie. Kwanele
looks like his mother, I always
thought he looked like Gagashe
but no, he looks like his mother. I
wonder if my child will look like me
or him. I wish my child looks like
me.

Insert 32
To say I'm not looking forward to
this day would be an
understatement. I have no words
to describe how I do not wish to
see Kwanele at all but it seems as
if I will need to. I don't know
what will happen today and what
conclusion will be reached but all I
know is that I want to get this
over and done with.
I decided to back a cake and
cupcakes for later tonight. I am
hosting respectable adults so I
need to impress.
Simi: Morning mommy!!
She took it upon herself to call me
mommy, she says she's training
me and making me get used to
being called mommy. Its not like
the baby will be born and he or
she will immediately call me
mommy.
Simi: I would help but I can't
back so I'll just sit and watch
you.
Me: Do you boo
Simi: Soooo....
Me: What?
Simi: I was just wondering if you
considered hearing Kwanele out
and trying to forgive him
Me: I'll talk to him tonight but I
can't just forgive him. He went
too far
Simi: You still love him?
Me: Yes, I won't get over him in
just a day.
Simi: I get you. Let me love and
leave you.
She left for work and I finished
up. I went to the shelter just to
go check up on what's going on.
There are new people here and I
introduced myself to them. Buhle
was there too, she dropped off
the supplies.
Buhle: I thought you'd be home
resting
Me: Needed to clear my head a
bit, I felt suffocated in the
house.
Buhle: Come, let's go get some
milkshakes.
We used her car and she drove to
the mall. I waited for her in the
car as she went to get the
milkshakes. She came back with
milkshakes and doughnuts.
Me: Thank you
Buhle: So Menzi and I got back
together last night
Me: Wow, you're happy?
Buhle: I am but a little part of
me isn't happy.
Me: Elaborate
Buhle: He said he broke up with
me because he was going through
alot, he took it hard when Khetho
dumped him so that means he
loves her. I knew he loves her
but I just didn't know he loves
her more than he loves me, it
hurts a little.
Me: Did he say he loves her more
than he loves you?
Buhle: No but...
Me: Stop hurting yourself with
assumptions. He came back to you,
that should mean something.
Buhle: I guess so. Anyways, has
she kicked?
Me: Really now Buhle? I think it's
too early for that and it might be
a boy.
Buhle: I hope its a girl.
We sat and had our own
conversations and what I liked
was that we didn't even touch on
our personal lives. I got a chance
to forget about reality for a
while and just talk about some
other things. There's just
something about Buhle that
makes you feel so relaxed and calm
around her. I guess her character
makes you feel that way. Simple
definition of Buhle is calm,
peaceful and relaxed.
Buhle: Let's go back home, you
need to cook for the in-laws
Me: Your in-laws not mine
Buhle: Whatever. We both know
you'll end up marrying into that
family, it will happen.
Me: Stop talking nonsense
We passed by the grocery store
and she bought everything she
thought I'd need. When we got
home, I felt sticky and longed for
a shower. When I was in the
shower I felt lazy, why did I
even shower from the first place?
I took a quick one and got
dressed in a long black dress. I
put a doek on my head, why am I
doing this? Its not like I'm
married to Kwanele and Gagashe
has seen me without it.
I took it off
"I swear, Nosipho, you're going to
be insane soon, trust me"- I told
myself that and laughed while at
it. When I got downstairs Buhle
was already cooking with Ntombi
watching her and Funeka
standing on the couch singing her
lungs out with Simi laying on the
couch next to her
Funeka: You know right now I
can't be home (ah)
But I'm coming home soon (ah)
Coming home soon. (ah a hah)
All I have is this picture in a
frame (ah),
that I hold close to see your face
everyday.
With you is where i'd rather be
(where I'd rather be.),
but we're stuck where we are (oh
oh).
It's so hard, (oh ah) you're so
far. (oh ah)
Me: My old time favourite.
I closed my eyes and poured my
heart out.
Me:This long distance is killing me.
I wish that you are here with
me (you are here with me),
but we're stuck where we are (oh
oh)
It's so hard, (oh ah) you're so
far. (oh ah)
Can you hear me crying?
Ooh (oh-oh oh-oh)
Can you hear me crying? (oh-oh
ah!)
Ooh (oh-oh oh-oh)
Can you hear me crying? (oh-oh
ah!)
Ooh (oh-oh oh-oh)
Simi: Yaas girl!! Hit that note.
Whuuuu I feel blessed
Me: You're so crazy
Buhle: You all are crazy. This food
won't cook itself, the elders will be
here soon so stop giving us a
wooden mic performance.
Me: Jealousy makes you nasty
We cooked while we listened to
music. We even baked and trust
me, these girls went all out.
Simi: Let us go now, we'll leave
you. Good luck babes.
We hugged and they left.
What do I do now?
While I was thinking someone
knocked and it was my parents. I
threw myself in my mothers arms.
I never realized I missed them
so much until I saw them and I
was wrapped around their arms.
We shared a group hug for a
while until my mom pulled away, I
forget how she doesn't like hugs.
She doesn't like being touched by
anyone else but my dad, at times,
she gets annoyed when he keeps
on her touching her. She doesn't
show affection but you know she
loves you, she makes sure you
know and feel it without her
showing it.
Me: Sawubona Gugu
Mom: My child calls me by name
now, this is all your fault Andile.
You spoilt her too much
Dad: How are you my daughter?
Your mother is already talking too
much. I missed you young one.
Gugu, stop complaining
My mom rolled her eyes and dad
gave her the bad eye. These two,
their love is such a good thing to
watch. It's those type of
relationships you wish you had. My
mothers name is Gugu and my
fathers is Andile, Gugu noAndile,
it was a coincident because there
was a story called Gugu noAndile
who had a great love story and
they share the same great love
and the same names. We sat and
watched t.v. with dad while mom
freshened up.
Dad: So tell me about this boy
Me: He's so old for you to be
calling him a boy dad.
Dad: To me, he is a boy. A boy who
hurt my daughter and has her
knocked up. I will lay my hands on
him
Me: Dad, you cannot hit a blind
man
Dad: Why not? He deserves a good
beating. Did you say he is blind?
Me: Yes he is.
Dad: Wow. Interesting
I told him more about Kwanele
and my relationship with him. Dad
seemed eager to meet Kwanele, I
guess he was fascinated by how a
blind man can do so much for
himself. After an hour Kwanele's
parents arrived with Menzi and
Kwanele, he was walking behind
with his head bowed down. He
looked hurt and he was limping
Its all your fault, you shot him.
I wanted to cry and hold him but
at the same time....
I wanted to scream and beat him
up.
He breathed in heavily and smiled
Kwanele: Nosipho
Me: Hi
He nodded and went to sit down.
My parents literally couldn't take
their eyes off him. It's crazy, I
was freaked out. I'm sure he felt
their eyes on him. My man is blind
but he can use his other senses in
the most extraordinary ways.
My ex I mean.
The parents exchanged greetings
and it was surprising that they
all knew each other. They once
attended a business event
together and they were seated on
the same table.
MaMzobe: Gugu, you have such a
beautiful and humble daughter.
You both raised her well.
Myparents: Thank you
Gagashe: I will waste no time,
Blose, these are my sons, Menzi
and Kwanele Zondi. It's sad that
we meet under such circumstances
we should be meeting for ilobolo
instead
Dad: Thats true Gagashe, but
these young ones decided to cause
havoc and we're meeting under
such circumstances.
Maye!
Gagashe: I have heard both
stories. This boy, Kwanele
poisoned Nosipho and caused some
damage to her womb all in the
name of not wanting a child.
Little did he know that Nosipho
will fall pregnant. And she is
carrying his baby now, we need to
find a way forward for both
these people because there is a
child uniting us now. We've come to
pay for damages my son has
caused and for the seed he has
planted here.
Dad: I am glad you have decided
to come forth, acknowledge the
mistakes your son has made and
you are willing to rectify your
wrongs but what I do want to
know why you did it Kwanele
Kwanele: My apologies for doing
such to your daughter Mr Bilose.
What I did was wrong but I saw
it as the right thing to do in my
eyes but I was stupid and it has
caused more damage than I
thought. Most of all, it has
caused me to loose a woman whom
I love so much. I love her so
much it hurts and I end up doing
insane things. My reasons were
that I do not want a child. As we
all know here that I am a blind
man, I'm sitting here deeply
inlove with a woman I've never
seen before, a woman that I will
never ever see in my life. I always
imagine how she looks, I have
this vivid picture in my head but
my imagination can only stay as an
image and not the real face that
I long to see each and every day.
I want to see her face as she
laughs endlessly, I want to see
her face right now, even though
I know she's disgusted by just
seeing me, I still wanna see her
face. Not being able to see her,
tortures me each and every day.
Worst part of it is knowing that
I'm wishing for the impossible.
How much more will it hurt when
there's a baby involved? How
much more will it hurt to long to
see her with her big pregnant
stomach, to see the baby's first
scan, to see her swollen feet, to
hold her as she walks around and
help her with the pregnancy. How
much more will it hurt and kill me
when I won't be able to see my
child? My first child and worst of
all, there's a high possibility that
he or she will be blind. I don't
wish this life on my child. I don't
wish this life on anyone. It's hard
and not everyone can handle it, it
will kill me everyday to know that
my child lives the same life as I
do. That is why I did what I did,
that is why I took that decison,
it was wrong to decide for her
but at that time I wasn't
thinking about anything else
besides getting ways of her not
having a baby. As cold hearted as
it is, I would've had your womb
removed in your sleep. That's how
deep this thing of not wanting a
child is to me.
Mom: So what happens now?
She's pregnant, that doesnt
change your mind?
Kwanele: No, I asked her to get
rid of the baby.
Me: That will never happen
Kwanele: I know. You're not as
evil and cold hearted as I am.
You're not me and I'm not you. I
cannot convince you and you cannot
convince me. What I feel hasn't
been changed by the fact that
she's pregnant and I doubt it will.
She can keep her baby
Me: This is our baby
Kwanele: No, it is your baby. I
don't want anything to do with
the baby.
My heart tore into little pieces.
I wanted to scream and cry but
I didn't.
I couldnt believe what I was
hearing.
I couldnt believe that those
words came from the man I love.
The man whom this baby belongs
to.
The discussion continued and my
mind wasn't even here anymore. I
stood up and dished up, atleast it
kept me distracted. I sat next to
him and started feeding him.
Why was I still doing it? He hurt
me
I should be throwing this food on
his face
It was awkwardly silent, only the
sound of cutlery echoed in the
room.
The awkward and pitiful stares I
got from my mother. Kwanele was
shifting uncomfortably, he could
feel my mom's eyes on him.
Kwanele: Thank you
He thanked me when I was done
feeding him and I took everyone's
dishes to the kitchen. I washed
the dishes while they settled
things and reached an agreement.
I wanted nothing to do with this
meeting anymore nor did I want
anything to do with Kwanele as
well. The meeting was over and
they all stepped outside and
Kwanele stood by the kitchen
counter and cleared his throat
Kwanele: Can we talk?
Me: I'm listening
Kwanele: I love you
Me: That's a lie. You don't hurt
someone you love Kwanele
Kwanele: Nosipho
Me: How was the rest of the
meeting?
Kwanele: It went well. We agreed
that I will support you and the
child financially
Me: I don't want you to take care
of us financially. I will do it on my
own.
Kwanele: I'm trying here
Me: No you're not. You're too much
of a coward, you cannot face your
fears and you're holding onto
them. You are blind Kwanele and
you will never be able to see again,
get that into your thick skull and
start living the life you long to
live deep down. So what if you'll
never see your child? You were
able to fall inlove with a person
you've never seen before what
makes you think you'll be less of a
father because you are blind,
what makes you think you won't
be able to love your child without
having to see him or her? You
have hurt me but most of all
you've disappointed me. Go on
with your life and let it please
you. I will go on with my life and
raise my child and when he or she
asks about you, I will tell him or
her that your father died the
moment he told me to get rid of
you.
Kwanele: Nosipho.... I...
Me: Hold it and get out. I wish I
was the blind one so I can never
get to see your disgusting face.
Leave and never look back, you
and I have never met before and
it will stay that way. Now leave
He walked slowly to the door, he
seemed to be in pain. I wanted to
hold him and take care of his
wounds but no. He stood there
with his hands in his pocket.
Kwanele: I'm sorry. Goodbye Lydia
I don't know whether it's
because he called me by my second
name or its the goodbye that set
the intensity of his sentence and
how serious and hurtful it was.
He's gone.
It hurts.
I looked out the window as their
cars drove off and I cried. My dad
held me and let me cry
Dad: Let him be. Let him be
Me: He has hurt me Dad
Dad: He is a young man who is still
lost in life and he's situation isn't
really helping much in this
situation.
Mom: I feel for that young man.
I can't believe this.
I went to the couch and stuffed
myself with ice cream. Clearly my
parents have chosen to fall for
his trap. They feel pity for him
and they're not even realizing
what he has done and to what
extent has he damaged me. He
did more damage than damaging
my womb, he broke my heart. He
killed all the trust I had for him,
I wish he had taken all the love
I have for him and went out
that door with it.
Mom: What does he do? He seems
like a rich man, he paid a very
huge amount of money.
Me: He's a successful
businessman. Him and Menzi work
very hard
Mom: Menzi seems like a nice guy
too
Me: You don't know them, they're
not as nice and innocent as you
think.
Mom: We're leaving now, we'll see
you tomorrow
Me: You're not sleeping over?
Dad: No, we have plans.
Me: You are leaving me alone?
Mom: Yes we are. Now bye
I walked them out and I was
left all alone. This isn't cool at all,
I'm not used to being alone
anymore. I called my friends and
they said they are at Simi's. I
drove to them with a bottle of
wine and food. Ntombi opened the
door for me and looked at the
wine bottle
Ntombi: You do know you won't
drink that.
Damn
Me: I forgot. One glass won't
hurt?
Ntombi: We not taking any
chances.
I sighed and went to sit down. I
told them about tonights events,
telling specifically what happened.
I'm amazed I didn't leave out
any detail
Funeka: Its the first time you
actually tell us something so
clearly and understandably
Me: I'm also shocked.
Khetho: So you ended things? The
both of you are just done?
Me: Yes.
Them: Wow
Ntombi's phone rang and she
smiled so much when she
answered and went out.
Me: She's still keeping this man of
hers a secret?
Simi: Yes and she says she isn't
going to tell us anytime soon. She
doesn't want to jinx it.
My phone rang too, it was a
strange number that I didn't
know.
Me: Hello
Caller: Hi, am I speaking to
Nosipho Bilose? Co-founder of The
Woman Drive
Me: Yes she's speaking
Caller: Thank God. I'm Naye
Mkhize, I received your number
from Mr Kwanele Zondi. I need to
speak business with you and your
colleague's about the woman
drive. A friend of mine mentioned
she knew you from Kwanele, she
represented you in court her name
is Ntokozo
Me: Yes I remember Advocate
Zulu
Naye: Yes, I would like to meet up
with you tomorrow. All of the
woman in your team if it's possible
Me: It's possible, we'll be
available tomorrow at 11am. At
our offices, I'll send you the
address
Naye: Thank you very much. I'm
looking forward to meeting you.
She ended the call, something
about her voice seemed so
intimidating.
Me: Someone by the name of Naye
Mkhize wants to meet up with us
tomorrow about the woman drive.
Funeka: Her name sounds so
familiar.
Me: She said she knows Kwanele
Funeka: Look for her in the
internet. People who know
Kwanele are usually bigshot
business people or they're known
for some important reason.
Simi looked her up on Google and
she stood on her feet.
Me: What?
Simi: It says here that she is a
queen. A whole queen! Queen
Nokukhanya Naye Mkhize of
Langelihle Kingdom.
Me: Wow, life will never seize to
amaze you. I wonder what does
she want. I can't believe it
We continued stalking her in the
internet and social media pages.
She looked beautiful, lots of kids
and friends. She looked like a good
person, I mean she is a Queen
after all, she has to be nice.
Ntombi came back and we gave
her a nasty look.
Ntombi: I'm still not telling.
Anyways, Thando said she's
having a party on Friday and
we're all going.
Me: I'm not
Ntombi: You are. She'll drag you
there if she finds out you're not
at the party. Byee, I'm going out
to see this mystery partner of
mine.
Me: I'm going to bed now, I need
some rest.
We all ended up cuddled up in one
room and two beds joined
together. We sang till I felt really
sleepy and closed my eyes.
Insert 33
Waking up and preparing for the
day wasn't the best things I look
forward to. I guess this
pregnancy will turn me into a
much lazier person than I already
am. I don't want to be outdoors,
if I could lock myself in the house
all day I'd be happy but I have a
business to run so that cannot
happen. I was on my way to the
office, the meeting with Mrs
Mkhize was in an hour. We were
all looking forward to it and a bit
eager to hear what it is all
about. I decided to pass by the
coffee shop before going to the
office.
Me: May I have a latte and a....
oh shit.
I remembered I'm not supposed
to be having any caffeine.
Me: Please just give me 3 lattes
and one cuppochino and a chocolate
muffin.
The waiter nodded and I waited
for my order. The smell of coffee
was so great and I was truly
tempted but I cannot take any
chances. I paid and took my order,
I turned not watching where I'm
going I bumped into some girl and
her coffee fell and mine spilt on
her shirt, it was white. The
anger on her face, she was
fuming.
Me: I'm so sorry, I'm really so
sorry.
She kept quiet and looked at me.
It was hot.
A big hot slap landed on my face.
To say I was shocked was an
understatement. I mean, what
the hell?
I smiled and looked at her.
Me: May I please pass?
Her: Just like that? Bitch don't
try me
Me: You've already slapped me, I
paid for my sin. What more do you
want from me?
Everyone was now watching as
this girl was making such a huge
scene. This girl slapped me, I'm
still in shock and disbelief.
Her: Who do you think will replace
my coffee?
She kept on shouting and I was
getting annoyed. I put the other
cups on the table with my bag
next to it. I went to the counter
and ordered what she had. I was
on my phone while I waited for
her coffee. I went back to her
while she was standing talking
about me to her friends.
Me: Here's the slip to your order.
Next time, don't embarrass
yourself and show the world what
a hooligan you are. You don't
attack someone because of a
simple mistake. In life you need to
know how to humble yourself and
respect others and you'll be
respected too. You'd be shocked to
find that I can end you before
the end of this day, you could be
jobless. I didn't beat you up
because I'm scared of you, being a
coward isn't me. But because of
my image, public reputation and
the business I own, I cannot
have it tarnished because of
stupid people like you.
Her: You don't intimidate me.
Me: I didn't say I do. Fix yourself
Londeka, maybe you'll have less
anger issues than you do now.
Craig might have to let you go,
give that job of yours to someone
else
Her: How do you know my name?
And how do you know my boss?
Me: I did say I can end you in just
a day. You'll have your shirt
delivered to you by the end of the
day, who knows? Maybe I'll get
you something more expensive
that you can brag about. Have a
good day.
People were know looking at me,
this Londeka girl seemed so
confused and she was hesitating.
I handled that well huh? I'm
sure you're wondering how I knew
her name and who she worked for.
I took a picture of her while I
waited for her coffee and sent it
to Lwazi and got some
information on her. She slapped
me, I haven't forgotten. No one
slaps me and gets away with it.
No one.
Mostly because its the first time
someone has ever slapped me so I
have to take action. I won't get
her fired, that's drastic we all
need jobs to support our daily lives
but she'll pay one way or another.
I bought a shirt and went to
work. I quickly changed and went
to the boardroom. After a few
minutes of waiting Khetho came
in followed by body guards and the
Mrs Mkhize walking in the middle
of them and four young ladies
with her. Is she always with so
many people everyday? She has a
tight security detail, she must be
living such a lavish life. She's even
much prettier than she is on
pictures and much shorter. She
smiled, her smile is beautiful and
warm.
Khetho: Good Morning to everyone
especially the Queen in our
presence.
She laughed.
The rest of us were just silent. I
guess we're all intimidated by this
woman standing infront of us.
Khetho: I am Khethokuhle
Gumede, Co founder and CEO of
The Woman Drive and this is
Simlindile Photholo, Funeka Zondi,
Ntombi Mbhele and Nosipho
Bilose.
Naye: Pleased to meet you all, I'm
Naye Mkhize.
Bodyguard: Queen Nokukhanya
Naye Mkhize of the Langelihle
Kingdom. Bow down before the
Queen
The way we quickly stood up so
we can bow down, she told us to
stop it's not necessary. She's a
Queen in Langelihle not in Durban.
She's supper chilled.
Me: What may we help you with
Mrs Mkhize?
Naye: Call me Naye, I may be in
my early 40's but I'm still young.
I don't have much time, I need
The Woman Drive in Langelihle, I
know your campaign has just
started and it is doing wonders.
You will need to open other
branches too in different places
and provinces and I would like
Langelihle to be the first.
Me: Wow
Naye: I need you to think about
and I will not be wanting any
shares whatsoever, everything is
handled by you guys. All I want is
for this wonderful initiative to be
in Langelihle and help our people.
My husband and I will fund
everything, its no problem.
Funeka: That is wonderful, I feel
as if its a good thing and
something we should do. Our
campaign should expand and help
more and more people
Khetho: Plus we have people from
all over in these shelters, some
will be closer to home once we
have branches in other places and
provinces. Our two shelters are
getting full and we need to do
more and expand. It's a very good
idea
Me: I agree
Ntombi: Me too, so I guess we're
doing this?
Us: Yes
Naye was excited, she said she
thought it would take all day to
convince us. To think she was
actually nervous about meeting
us. Wonders will never end in this
world.
Naye: I have already found land
which will be used to build
shelters and any other facilities
which will be needed. I am not
always in Durban and this project
will need some of you if not all of
you in Langelihle to monitor this
and put in all the work. I will not
be involved, as I said this project
is yours all I'm here for is
financial assistance and it being on
my land.
Ntombi: It will mean that some
of us have to move down to
Langelihle.
We didn't think of that. Preparing
and opening the shelter here was
hard work, how much more will it
be all the way in Langelihle? Some
of us need to be in Langelihle.
Naye: I'll leave you to decide
what you do but I would like this
to start as soon as possible.
Khetho: As soon as next week. We
will contact you tonight once
we've reached an agreement.
We said our goodbyes and she left.
Ntombi: Interesting. It's
amazing to see how much we're
growing in such a short amount of
time.
Funeka: I honestly didn't expect
it.
Me: I'll move to Langelihle
What?
I guess I thought out loud. I
was still thinking about it and I
said it.
Simi: What, really?
Me: Yes. It will be a good thing
for the campaign and myself
ofcause. I need a breather and
just be away from this place for a
while. I will be able to focus on
work, the baby and myself
without having to be around
Kwanele.
Khetho: Three of you have to
move down to Langelihle. It can
be Nosipho, Simi and Funeka.
Ntombi and I will remain here and
we also have Buhle who will be of
great assistance. Is it okay with
you Simi and Funeka?
Simi: Yes
Funeka: Yes it is.
Khetho: Okay that's settled
then. This will take about three
months so you'll be there for a
while. We'll keep coming by on
weekends if we can and we'll have
to make this work ladies. Simi,
I'm putting you incharge of the
Langihle project
Simi: Yes mem
She does it so well, she's fit into
her position so perfectly. We chose
well to have her as our leader in
this business. It seems like a
natural thing to her, I guess this
was really her purpose in life as
she was the brains behind this
big initiative. We did our plannings
and settled our plans. Everything
seemed to be getting into place.
It was a Wednesday so we had
just 4days left till we move to
Langelihle. It's short notice but
we can manage, it's just leaving
for three months nothing much. I
wish we were moving for the
entire year. We called Naye and
told her on what we have decided
on. She said she will organize
where we'll stay and prepare for
our arrival. I was actually now
looking forward to leaving Durban.
I don't even know if I'm going to
a rural village or not but I don't
care. As long as I don't breathe in
the same air as Kwanele.
Ntombi: Will you tell him?
Me: We're going to that party on
Friday so surely he'll be there and
he'll hear about it. I don't need to
inform him about what I do.
They nodded and we continued
working.I was so sure about my
decision of moving, the more I
thought about was the more I
felt sure of it. During lunch time
I ordered this ladys t-shirt and
had it sent to her. With a little
sweet message, telling her to
watch herself. I will just keep
haunting her till I've had enough.
She'll never just slap someone like
she owns the world. She's lucky it
was me, someone would've beat
her into a pulp. When we were
done for the day we headed home
and I went straight to bed. I
just wanted to sleep nothing
more.
Two days later- Friday
I was on my way driving to the
airport, going to meet up on a
lunch date with my mother in
Joburg. She demanded me to fly
to Joburg and I'll be back before
Thando's party. My mom is so
dramatic, she wants to have
lunch in Joburg when I can just
tell her what I want to say over
the phone, or video call if she
wants to see my face. When I got
there I was ushered into a
private jet.
Private jet?
Since When?
Mom though.
I slept all the way to Joburg. I
was woken up by a call from Menzi
Me: Menzi
Menzi: Skeem, why are you going
to Joburg? Aren't you coming to
the party?
Me: How do you know I'm going to
Joburg? Are you having me
followed?
Menzi: No. I just know
Me: I'm going to have lunch with
mom and I'll be back in time for
the party. I don't like this thing
of you stalking me because it
means Kwanele knows about my
whereabouts.
Menzi: I don't see a problem with
him knowing where you are
Me: Goodbye Menzi
I dropped the call, he just called
to annoy me. He called again and I
ignored it. The flight attendant
came to me.
Her: Miss Bilose, Mr Zondi is on
the phone and he has requested
to talk to you.
She handed the phone to me and
I answered
Me: Peterson
Menzi: Fuck you
Me: You too, what do you want?
Menzi: I just wanted to say
goodbye , you ended the call before
I could say so.
Me: Well goodbye then Menzi.
He ended the call and I was told
we were about to land. After a
few minutes we landed and my
mom was already waiting for me
at the airport. She hurried and
hugged me then she cried
Me: What is wrong with you?
Mom: I missed you
Me: Okay, you're being weird.
You're never clingy, at all. Move
away from me.
She laughed and carried my bag.
We went to her car and the driver
drove us to her house. We got
there and we went to the kitchen
Mom: We'll be cooking together
Me: You cook and I'll watch you,
just like the old days.
She started cooking as she told
me about her day and that Dad
and her had a fight now she came
to Joburg so he can see how
angry she is. I told you I have a
dramatic mother. Once she
finished cooking, I dished up and
we sat by the lounge while we
ate.
Me: Mom, I'm moving out Durban
for a few months
Mom: What? Where are you going?
Me: TWD is opening a branch at
Langelihle. We were approached
by the Queen of Langelihle and
we're taking on the project.
Mom: Congratulations but are you
sure you want to leave?
Me: Yes, I need to leave. Its for
the business and my own good. I
need to be as far away from
Kwanele as possible.
Mom: Oh my daughter, you know
I'm here for you at all times.
Take care of yourself and your
baby. Finish up your food so we
can go to the doctor you need to
have a check up.
Me: Yes Gugu
Mom: I'll hit you. So Kwanele will
be at the party tonight?
Me: Yes, it's his sisters party so
he will be there. I don't know how
I feel about being in the same
space as him so I won't stay long.
I don't want the friendship circle
to die and be awkward because
we broke up so I'll try being very
civil with him
Mom: That's a good thing.
We went to the doctor and I did
my first scan. The baby seemed
okay and my blood pressure was
good too. After the doctors
appointment we went to the
salon and she bought weaves for
herself and one for me, I'm not
complaining, atleast she bought
me one. She then drove me to the
airport. I slept throughout the
flight again, its better if I sleep
or I'll just feel sick and throw up.
When we landed, I found Menzi
waiting for me near my car with a
bunch of red roses.
Me: Mr Zondi
Menzi: Mrs Zondi
Me: You wish
Menzi: I'm saying that on behalf
of my brother
Me: Even worse.
I gave him my bag and he
laughed, he came here so I'll bully
him. I got into the passengers
seat and waited for him to drive.
Menzi: Where to dear lady?
Me: Home, I need to freshen up
and change.
He drove to the apartment and
he kept on telling me about how
Kwanele hasn't been out of bed
for the past three days. I chose
not to say anything and just listen
to him.
Me: Is he coming tonight?
Menzi: No
Me: Mmmh that's good
He seemed hurt by what I said.
I didn't care.
Menzi: I'll come pick you up when
you're done. Call me
Me: I'll drive myself
Menzi: I don't want to repeat
myself. Remember you're carrying
a precious Zondi cargo in there you
can't drive.
Me: Whatever.
He laughed and waved goodbye
while I went inside the house. I'll
take my own time preparing for
this party. I'm not looking
forward to it at all. What I'm
looking forward to is coming home
and packing then I leave this
place. Who knows, maybe I might
decide to stay there forever.

Insert 34
Menzi picked me up when I was
done as he had insisted. This
party wasn't as our normal
parties that we always have.
When we got to Thando's
beautiful and massive house, she
told us we'll first have a formal
dinner. Thank God I was wearing
appropriate clothes for a formal
dinner, we took pictures as we
waited for the dinner to start
and we were having snacks and
chatting. I was sitting with
Kwenzo as we were chatting up a
storm. I kept on looking at the
door, hoping he would walk in but
he wasn't. Menzi told me he left
him at home sleeping, atleast
Vusi is with him so I know he is
safe and not bored alone. He is
still suffering from his wounds, I
shouldn't have shot him. Menzi
tells me his father made them
worse by pressing onto them as
punishment, that was very
harsh. Anyways, I should focus on
this night and stop thinking
about him. Menzi and Buhle kept
on kissing and playing lovey dovey,
it was a cute sight to see
especially since Khetho was just
happy and didn't seem to mind.
There was no awkwardness and
you could tell that Khetho was
really okay? If she's pretending
then I applaud her, she would
really be a very good actress.
Simi: Where is the food? I'm
hungry
Thando: Almost done!
Lwazi: My lady doesn't like being
hungry, she can kill everyone just
so she can get a plate of food.
Me: Glad you know that you
should feed my girl, she needs to
be fed.
Ntethe: She must also serve
some cake, Its compulsory
Kwenzo: Preach!
Funeka: That's all you know.
We went to the dinning table and
we sat down, I was in between
Kwenzo and Khetho. Across us
were our lovely couples and they
looked cute. Kind of reminded me
of myself and Kwanele. It was a
feast, the smell was divine and so
was the taste.
Me: This is lovely, me and baby K
are enjoying it.
Simi: Baby K?
Me: Baby Kwanele
Menzi: So cute, too bad my
brother is just a jerk.
Kwenzo: He's going through alot,
he'll come around. As he's
brothers we're here to play the
father figure in baby K's life.
Lwazi: We are all here for you,
whatever you need and at any
given time we'll be here.
Ntethe: Funeka tells me you guys
are moving to Langelihle
Menzi: What?
Me: Yes, Simi, Funeka and I are
moving there for about three
months
Menzi: When?
Me: Monday
Menzi: Why am I only finding out
about this now?
Buhle: I forgot to tell you babe.
It's business related.
Me: Yes, we're opening TWD
branch at Langelihle so we'll be
there to head things up and work
that side.
Lwazi: You will come back on
weekend right babe? I can't
spend three months without
seeing you
Simi: We'll be back every weekend
Me: You will, not me. I'll be back
after three months. I need a
break from Durban, I need a
breather
Kwenzo: Why do I feel like you're
leaving forever?
Me: That's not the plan but if it
happens, it happens. If you miss
me Kwenzo, you'll come and see
me. Weekends, I will not be coming
back.
Thando: You seem to have your
mind made up
Me: Yes I do.
We continued talking, Menzi
excused himself he said he needed
to make a call. He came back
after a while, we had settled and
they were having wine while I
was having non alcoholic sparkling
wine. It was boring but hey, Baby
K doesn't allow me to drink alcohol.
The music started playing and it
was party mode!
Thando: I didn't have a reason
for organizing this party but now
I do. Congratulations to the
ladies for securing a new project
and farewell to the ladies who are
leaving us headed to Langelihle.
May you prosper and make us
proud!
Us: Cheers!!
The music was pumping and we
were all dancing and having a good
time.
Ntombi: I'm going to the
bathroom.
I nodded and continued dancing,
how I wish I was intoxicated
right now, the fun I'm having
needs some alcohol in my system
but anyways, I'll get used to my
9months of alcohol free life.
Kwenzo: Sis Nosi
Me: Since when do you call me Sis
Nosi?
Kwenzo: I need a favour
Me: Talk
Kwenzo: Can Asemahle leave the
shelter just for tonight? I'll go
pick her up
Me: Asemahle Fini? What business
do you have with her?
Kwenzokuhle are you dating the
little girl? Oh my word
Kwenzo: Please, please I'm
begging you.
Khetho: Don't hurt or sleep with
her.
Me: Come, let's go fetch her
Kwenzo: Thank you!
He quickly took he's car keys and
I demanded that he tells me
what is going on between them
as we drove to the shelter. He
told me they are close friends but
he wants to be more than friends.
Apparently he always visits her
at the shelter and they've went
on a date once before. Kwanele
knew about this and he didn't
even tell me.
Kwenzo: I knew you'd be
protective of her and not allow
me to see her so I asked him not
to tell you.
Me: You're a player, I don't want
you messing up that little girls
feelings and breaking her heart.
Kwenzo: I'll try not to. I mean, I
like her so why would I mess this
up?
We got to the shelter and she
was waiting for us by the
reception. She looked down when
she saw me and played with the
egdes of her dress.
Me: Take the front seat, I'll sit
by the back.
She nodded and we got into the
car. It was awkward and it was
because she was scared of me.
Me: You'll be taking her back first
thing tomorrow morning Kwenzo
Kwenzo: Yes Sis
Me: And behave yourself. Feel free
Ase, I don't bite.
She giggled and nodded. We went
into the house and I went
upstairs. I was looking for the
bathroom, I needed to pee. Why is
this house huge and has many
doors? I just need the bathroom
before I pee on myself.
Me: Aaaaaah!!!!
Thando: Shit!
I closed the door and closed my
eyes. Breath in and out
In and out
Breath Nosipho
Everyone was now standing
infront of me looking at me with
worry in their faces.
Buhle: What is going on? We heard
you screaming your lungs out.
Me: Uhmm...
The door opened slowly and they
came out with guilt written all
over their faces.
Ntombi: I can explain
Thando: No babe, I'll handle this.
Menzi: Babe?
Thando: Ntombi and I are an
item. Nosipho just saw us having
sex, we forgot to lock the door
and she walked in on us thats why
she screamed.
Ntethe: Damn
Simi: So he's the mystery man? I
mean the mystery woman
Ntombi nodded and I laughed
Ntombi: I've never said man but
partner.
True, she's never really said it's a
man.
Menzi: Wow, you've got a smoking
hot girlfriend, I didn't think you'd
do therapists
Thando: Only you would say
something so stupid
We all laughed and as much as we
were shocked, we were trying so
hard to hide it and bury the
awkwardness.
Buhle: Let's leave them to
continue where they left off.
Me: After I pee, where's the
bathroom in this house?
Ntombi showed me and I rushed
there while they went back to
the room and the others went
downstairs. After I was done I
walked back downstairs, I
stopped.
He's here, I can smell him from
where I'm standing. He's
presence is heavy and I can feel
he's somewhere near me.
He is behind.
I continued walking to the couch
even though my knees were
failing me. I haven't seen him, I
haven't seen his face. I sat down
and closed my eyes.
This effect he has on me is too
deep, it controls my entire body
and mind.
He has this hold on me and I
want it to end. I opened my eyes
and he was sitting across me, he
was wearing tight long sleeve t-
shirt, it was black and khaki
shorts. I could see his bandage,
atleast it had no blood stains.
Maybe it has healed a bit. He had
his glasses on and he was moving
his jaws and rubbing he's palms
together
He does that when he is angry
Why would he be angry?
Why is he so damn sexy?
Vusi was here too.
Ntethe: Here's something to
drink Bafo
Kwanele: Thank you
That came out as more of a
whisper, he's voice seemed like it
was gone and it was just husky. I
wonder what is wrong with his
voice. He sat down right opposite
me, couldn't he sit somewhere else
because I'm just facing him now
and it is complete torture, mostly
because he is so handsome. He
continues rubbing his palms
together and clenching his jaw.
I stood up and went to sit
somewhere else where I won't
have to face him. Asemahle
turned the music on louder and
she danced. I quickly went to join
her, I needed to be distracted. I
mean, this guy wasn't even paying
attention to me. Why do I want
him to pay attention to me
anyways?
You broke, its over, move on from
him.
I was dancing my ass off and the
crowd was shouting, Simi was
literally screaming and dancing
with me. I was loosing my senses,
mind you, I didn't even drink any
alcohol.
Khetho: Go Nosi!! Go Nosi!! Twerk
that ass up!!
I laughed and we twerked.
I was still dancing when the
music stopped playing and I felt a
rough hand grabbing me.
Me: What the...!!! Leave me alone
Kwanele!
He was literally grabbing me out
the door. This man!
He's walk was so not him, I
shouldn't have shot him. It still
hurts.
We were outside and the others
were watching us through the
window.
Kwanele: Sit down
Me: You don't tell me what to do
Kwanele: I don't want to argue
with you
Me: I don't even want to talk to
you Kwanele.
Kwanele: I heard you're leaving?
Me: I am
Kwanele: Why are you leaving
Nosipho? I know its not only work
related. Please don't leave
Me: Why not? I want to be away
from you. As far away as I can
be. I need to work and just relax.
I need to focus on myself and
focus on my child. I know I'll
always see you if I stay here, we
have the same friends. I can't
ask you to change friends and I
also can't change friends. It's
better if I leave and I get some
space from you that way we'll
both have our separate lives.
Kwanele: I don't want to be away
from you, I don't want a life
separate from you.
Me: You don't know what you're
talking about Kwanele, you're just
drunk. You don't want my child, you
can't have me if you won't have
my child. Your child to be more
specific Kwanele, there's no we
without her.
Kwanele: It's a girl?
Me: No, I don't know yet. But
Buhle says it will be a girl.
Kwanele: Okay
Me: Bye Kwanele
Kwanele: Don't leave yet, lets
stay here for a while. Let's share
our last moment together. Hold
my hand
Me: No Kwanele, don't do this.
Don't make this more complicated
than it already is. Let's rather
just leave, go our separate ways
and pretend as if nothing has
ever happened. It will be hard to
pretend but we have to. You've
hurt me so much, It will take
time for me to forgive you. Maybe
I'll never even forgive you but I
know I'll never keep you in my life
when I know you don't want my
child.
Kwanele: I guess this is it. What
we had has really come to an end
Me: Yes and I don't want to point
fingers but you know it's your
fault.
Kwanele: I know but I've made
my decision
Me: And I have made my decision.
We both have to live by our
decisions.
Kwanele: I love you
Me: You think you love me. And
what happened to your voice?
Kwanele: Let's just say I've been
drinking too much. All I do is drink
these days
Me: You shouldn't be doing that.
It's not good for you especially
since you're now loosing your voice.
Kwanele: I'll stop because you've
said so.
Me: Yeah right
Kwanele: Honestly, I'll really stop.
Me: If you say so.
Kwanele: I had plans for us, we
were supposed to be getting
married by the end of this year.
Me: Really?
Kwanele: Yes, Gagashe gave
Menzi and I a time frame for us
to get married. I knew I've find
a wife in you.
Me: But then it won't happen
Kwanele: I guess so.
We sat there for a while in silence
and having a conversation here
and there. After a few hours, I
told him I want to leave.
Kwanele: Can I get a hug?
Me: No
Kwanele: Just a hug Nosipho
I nodded and I laughed, I
remembered he cannot see me. It
reminded me of the first few days
when I had met him. It kept on
slipping my mind that he is blind
and cannot see me when I nod.
Me: Just a hug ke Kwanele.
I hugged him, he held me closer
and closer. It was a warm hug
and I was enjoying it.
Kwanele: A kiss just to bid
farewell? Just to say goodbye
Me: Kwanele, don't do this....
I couldnt finish up my sentence
because he had already had his
lips on mine and he kissed me. We
kissed for a while and I pulled
back but he wasn't letting me go.
He deepend the kiss and I felt my
whole body tinge.
No this has to stop
He pinned me to the wall and
touched my stomach.
Kwanele: I love you
I didn't know whether he is
talking to me or my stomach. I
just pulled away
Me: Goodbye Kwanele
Kwanele: Goodbye Nosi, and the
baby
Me: It's BabyK
Kwanele: BabyK?
Me: Baby Kwanele
He laughed and held my hand as
we went to the others. I don't
know what's wrong or what's
going on but I won't get my
hopes up. He is drunk, thats why
he is so warm to the baby stuff.
Simi: So we kissed and made up?
Vusi: Mommy and Daddy diaries
huh?
Kwanele: No, I'm not a daddy and
will never be one.
Silence.
I was on the verge of crying but
I held myself and kept it
together. Buhle held my hand and
I winked at her.
Me: I want to leave
Ntombi: Let's go
Me: Where are you going? Who will
Thando cuddle with all night?
Thando: Thank you Nosi
She laughed and held her, it was
such a cute sight to see. So
unexpected and shocking, we didn't
suspect it at all. I literally had no
idea but hey, if they're both
happy we're all happy. What I'm
nervous about is Gagashe finding
out, it won't be good at all. But
we'll cross that bridge when we
get to it.
Ntethe: Let me drive you home,
Menzi is too drunk to do so.
Me: Thank you, I'll see you ladies
tomorrow
Khetho: I'm going home with you,
us single ladies are out!
Menzi: Don't leave me babe, you
know I love you
Silence...
Silence...
Silence...
What the hell is Menzi doing? I
just took my bag. I wanted to
leave before things get worse.
Menzi: Khethokuhle, Khetho
sthandwa sam
Vusi: Okay, Menzi let's get you to
bed. Bye ladies
Buhle sat down, her face was red.
She was hurt.
Khetho: You're okay Buhle?
Buhle: Yes. Have a safe trip home
Simi: I'll stay and look after her,
she's okay
We said our goodbyes and we left.
Khetho cracked up in laughter
when we got into the car.
This girl!
Me: Why are you laughing?
Khetho: Menzi is an idiot. How
could he say such? Especially
infront of Buhle. It's just so
wrong
Me: Its wrong and you're laughing
Khetho: It was a bit funny
Nosipho
Me: Whatever
Ntethe: You're both just so
naughty
He drove us to the apartment
and dropped us off. I went
straight to my room and took a
bath then went to bed. Khetho
was already sleeping in my bed,
we'll just cuddle all night long.
Me: Move, you just take up the
entire bed
Khetho: I'm a big girl, I need
space.
We laughed and cuddled, we were
both just tired and wanted to
sleep. After I showed her the
baby scan we both closed our eyes
Khetho: Just months ago we
were struggling to sleep in a jail
cell
Me: Don't even remind me. Look at
where we are now my lady
Khetho: We've come too far at a
short space amount of time. I
love you
Me: I love you too

Insert 35
The journey to Langelihle was
soothing and calm. There's just
something about this place that
makes you feel relaxed. Like all
the weight has been taken off
your shoulders. We arrived her
last night and I already feel like
I'm going to like it here. I woke
up this morning and stood by the
balcony. The Queen outdid herself
by choosing this house for us to
stay at. It has such a beautiful
view of the hills and the river. I
wore my gown and slippers then
went outside. The smell of the soil
was so enriching and natural.
Funeka: It's beautiful right?
Me: Yes it is. I don't if its
because of its naturality or what
but it's just breathtaking.
We arrived late at night, we
didn't get to see such beauty. We
are staying in a beautiful double
story house with a very beautiful
garden, 6bedrooms, bathrooms,
two kitchens, a dinning area and
lounge. I felt like it was too big
just for the three of us but hey,
the Queen went all out so we
have to appreciate. Simi came
with three cups of coffee
Simi: I read on the internet that
you're allowed to drink one cup a
day so here's some coffee
Me: Thank you very much
We sat down on the table thats
on the porch and had our coffee in
comfortable silence. I got a call
from the Queen and I put it on
speaker
Me: Good morning my Queen
Naye: Good morning, and hey, call
me Naye. Did you sleep well on
your first night in our beautiful
soils of Langelihle?
Me: We slept very well thank you,
it is indeed a beautiful place.
Naye: Thank You, my daughter
will come by around 11 or 12 and
she will show you around
Langelihle. Then you will come
have dinner with us tonight at
the Royal Palace, the King will
also be here, he is looking forward
to meeting you all
Me: Thank you very much for the
invite and we are lookinf forward
to meeting the both of you. We
will be ready when your daughter
gets here.
Naye: Bye for now and enjoy your
stay.
She ended the call and we were
given breakfast by some two
ladies.
Funeka: I didn't know we had
house helpers
Me: Me too
Simi: I saw them this morning.
Me: This looks delicious, I'm
starving.
I dished up and ate immediately.
Seems as if BabyK will make me
have a big appetite. I'm scared
how fat I'll be in the next few
months.
Funeka: You're finished already?
Me: It was too delicious
Simi: Since when do you like greesy
breakfast? I'll dish up for you
again
Me: Since BabyK happened and
thank you.
She dished up for me again and I
couldnt finish the second plate. We
stayed outside for a while and
then I was the last to go
shower, the princess will be here
soon so we have to be ready. I
wore a long brown summer dress
and brown sandals. I went back
downstairs and watched Tv as we
waited. Funeka was busy on her
laptop while Simi was on the
phone with Lwazi. I decided to
call Buhle and check up on her.
After the drama that happened
on the night of the party, she's
just been sad and its just not
okay.
"Hello mommy kaBabyK"-Buhle
"You sound better than you've
been in the past few days"
"I feel much better, well its
because of a special somebody"-
Buhle said as she giggled.
"So you patched things up with
Menzi?"
"Not really, who said I need Menzi
to make me happy? There's
plenty of fish in the sea"- Buhle,
hehe this girl.
"I'll pretend as if I didn't hear
that. I'm just glad you're happy"
"Yes I am, why didn't you tell me
Khetho is such a bad sleeper? My
back hurts"- Buhle
"She slept at your house?"
"Yes we were both too drunk to
drive so they slept here. Ntombi
slept somewhere on the couch,
when we woke up she was gone.
She left a note saying she went
to get a massage from Thando,
we both know where that leads
to."- Buhle
"These girls, their relationship is
on fire. I'm happy for the both of
them hey."
"It's still weird when they kiss
infront of me but the more they
do it is the more I get used to it.
But anyways, let me go bath. Bye
babes"- Buhle, we said our
goodbyes and I continued
watching tv. There was a knock
on the door and Funeka answered.
A royal guard came in followed by
a stunning lady who was dressed
in a royal attire. She is the
princess, she came in followed by
other guards and a young lady
carrying a suitcase. We stood up
and bowed down
Her: You may rise and never bow
before me again unless we're at
the royal house
She said as she laughed. She told
her gaurds to leave and they left.
Her: Hi ladies, my name is Emihle
Mkhize and you are, Funeka, Simi
and Nosipho but I don't know who
is who.
Me: I'm Nosipho
Funeka: I'm Funeka
Simi: And I'm Simi
Emihle: Pleased to meet you all, I
believe we're all of the same age
group so you won't say no to a
glass of champagne before we
leave?
Simi: I could never say no but
mommy to be here will stick to
Orange juice
Me: So boring
Emihle: You're pregnant?
Congratulations
Me: Thank you
They had some champopo while I
had juice and then she asked to
go change, she doesnt want to
wear the royal attire anymore.
She feels underdressed because
we're all wearing summer dresses.
She came back dressed in a
beautiful yellow summer dress and
sandals too.
Emihle: I figured we'd all need sun
hats, the sun here is too much. So
to the yellow bones, you'll be black
when we come back.
She gave us sun hats and we put
some sunscreen. We went to her
car and she drove off.
Emihle: So let's get to know each
other, you'll forgive me, I'm very
talkative, I could just go on all
day long just talking so be free
and talk please, I don't want to
talk alone. I'll start, well I'm
Emihle Mkhize as you know.
Princess of Langelihle, my mother
is Naye and Nkosi Mkhize, is my
father. I'm a daddies girl, that's
why I'm 25 and still haven't left
home nor am I even married.
Some princes have come to ask
for my hand in marriage but my
father just bluntly refused. He
doesn't want to let me go, it's so
cute yet so annoying. I don't know
when he'll accept that I'm a
grown up now
Me: We're the same age
Emihle: See, and you're pregnant
and maybe you're even getting
married now and here I am. This
sucks
Me: I wish I was you. I'm
pregnant but far from getting
married.
Emihle: Dad didn't even want me
to leave and go to Varsity. I
studied at home, that's how
boring and stuck up in life I am
Simi: You're in jail, your father is
hectic
Emihle: You'll see for yourself
tonight. My mother had me when
she was 17, she's 43 and not
aging at all. They're both still so
inlove it's strange and weird but
cute. I want that for myself too
but I haven't found it yet
Funeka: You'll find it soon and it
will feel so right. You'll just know
that, hey, this is it.
Emihle: You sound so inlove
Me: She is. They both are
When Emihle said she talks alot, I
didn't really think it was this
much. She can talk, she spoke all
the way to where she was taking
us. We went to see different
places in Langelihle, the waterfall,
restaurants, shopping centers and
village garden projects. There
was alot of community work that
Langelihle was involved in and
they were all a success. It was a
beautiful place to be and there
people were welcoming, warm and
kind hearted.
Emihle: Let's go to KwaGcaba,
don't lose your senses, the men
there are delicious!
We walked to kwaGcaba, it's a
wood factory which was close to
where we were. And indeed she
was right, the men there were
breathtakingly handsome. Its like
they only hire fit and handsome
men to work here.
Guy: Ntombi kaMkhize, Ngunezi
omuhle, ngyabingelala. Nani
zintokazi, sanibona.
One guy greeted and smiled at us.
The smile on Emihles face as he
greeted and walked past us.
Me: And then?
Emihle: Let's just say Mthunzi is
the reason why I always come to
this factory. My father just
thinks I enjoy working here but
nop, I don't work at all. I just
come for sight seeing pleasure
and leave
Simi: And I thought I was crazy
This Mthunzi guy was really
handsome and it was visible that
Emihle was head over hills inlove
with him. He kept on looking at
her too as he worked
Funeka: I feel like he keeps on
passing here because he wants to
see you.
Emihle: Let's go before I faint.
We laughed at her and she took
us to the construction sight
where our shelters will be built
Emihle: This is the land that my
father has offered, as you can see
some of the equipment has
arrived and the building will start
as soon as possible. What you
ladies do is such a wonderful thing
and I'm really happy that the
woman of Langelihle will get the
help they need. There's a little
shelter where some other woman
live but its old and not monitored
you'd swear its a brothel. My
mother has never liked that
place, when she saw the Woman
Drive on social media, she literally
screamed and said she has found
what she has been looking for.
The help she needs for those
people is the woman drive. She
wanted to call immediately but
had to wait for Dad, he's been in
Russia for the past two months
with some of my uncles, well my
father's. Well I come from a very
big family so don't be scared when
you meet some of them tonight.
All my father's are over
protective you'll see them for
yourselves. Its actually very
funny and annoying too, Sbahle is
in her early 30s but they still
treat her like a 5year old, she's
married and when she was
pregnant with her first child,
they beat Kaitso up. I mean,
they are married ofcause they'll
fuck and have kids.
She spoke and spoke, I have
literally just known so much about
her family in just a short amount
of time. She is a radio, that's all
I can say. She moves from this
topic to the next, if you don't
listen attentively you'll be so lost.
Worst of all, she speaks really
fast.
Emihle: Oh sorry, guys I told you
I speak alot so forgive me.
Funeka: No don't apologize. We're
still just amazed that's all.
Emihle: Anyways, you'll get used to
me. Let me take you to a very
breathtaking place here, my
father took me there and he told
me its a very soothing place. I've
been addicted to it since then.
Me: Can it be our last stop? I'm
so tired
We've been travelling around
Langelihle and it was still just
half of it. We had just a few
hours till dinner and she took us
to a small mountain near the lake.
Emihle: Take off your shoes or
you'll slip and fall.
We took off our shoes and walked
there. She was right, it is such a
beautiful calm and cool place. I
stood there and the tears just
fell. I didn't speak nor even think
alot, they just came out. I sat
down and let them be. There's
something about this place that
screams natural healing.
Emihle: Is she okay? She's crying
Funeka: Let her be, she needs
this. Shes been through alot.
They remained silent and I closed
my eyes for a while. I let go of all
the pain and all the weight that
was on my shoulders. Mostly, I let
go of all the false hope I had
about Kwanele accepting our child.
I forgave him and forgave
myself. I made a vow to be the
best mother I can be to my child
and be the best version of me.
After all else has failed, I have
come out with a great gift from
God. Being with Kwanele was one
of the best experiences of my life
which I will forever treasure in
my life. I learnt alot about him
and about myself. I realized my
greatest capabilities and grew
not only emotionally and mentally
but intellectually as well. I gained
wisdom and strength. Our break
up, that has been the biggest
lesson of all. I will stand and walk
tall, with my head held high and
be the best version of me.
Me: We can go
Simi: We were about to wake you
up, we thought you've fallen
asleep.
I laughed at them and we
headed back to the house.
Emihle: I have to wear the royal
attire again. Let me shower
She knows her way around the
house, we all went to our
separate rooms and I checked on
my phone first. I had missed calls
from Menzi, I called him
Me: Menzi
Menzi: I've been calling you, I
wanted to check up on you. How
are you doing?
Me: I'm great hey, I've been
busy all day so I didn't pay much
attention to my phone. How are
you doing?
Menzi: I'm fine. I've decided to
focus on Buhle, Khetho doesnt
want me, she made that clear so
I'll focus on Buhle.
Me: Wadla fish boh. Just stop
toying with Buhle's feelings. You
treating her like a second option.
Menzi: I realize what I've been
doing is wrong and I apologized.
She's just been acting different
today but I guess she's still
angry.
Me: I called her earlier and she
was happy
Menzi: Too happy for my liking,
I'm not the reason for that
happiness and that's not a good
thing.
Me: Do you hear how crazy sound?
Are you listening to yourself
Menzi? Cha you Zondi men must
think you own the world.
Menzi: Don't get personal
Me: Don't get personal? You
seriously think Buhle's happiness
depends on you? Only she can
control and have an impact on her
own happiness. She can create her
own happiness, she can be happy
with or without you. You should be
grateful that she's happy and
not burning your stupid ass. Don't
take advantage of her sweet
heart. And if you're just with her
because you're licking your wounds,
leave that relationship before its
too late. Leave before someone
gets hurt. Bye Menzi
I ended the call and went to take
a bath. I wore a royal blue dress,
it was causal but formal as well
with black pencil heels. Didn't put
any make up on and put a short
fringe weave and carried a clutch
bag.
Simi: We've been waiting for you,
you took your own time
Me: Sorry ladies.
We went outside, Funeka locked
up. There were many black SUVs
waiting for us and we were
ushered into different cars. I
greeted my driver and sat down
and scrolled on my phone looking on
social media platforms. We were
travelling in a convoy, I got a
text from Simi " I feel like I'm
some sort of royal princess" I
laughed at it and didn't reply. It
did feel like we're some important
high class royalty. The car
stopped and the driver went out.
Oh my word? He opened the door
for me and put his hand out for
me to hold. When I came out, he
took my bag and gave it to a
maiden behind me and held my
hand as I walked towards where
the family was standing. This is
life I tell you! The smile on Simi's
face! Priceless.
Her smile was not as priceless the
smile the old but not so old man
infront of me had.
"If I was still young and fresh
and had to get married. I would
marry you beautiful dark african
girl. What a beautiful black child."-
He said as he kissed my hand. The
woman next to him smacked his
hand and laughed, I figured she is
his wife. Naye was standing next
to Simi, she's more beautiful each
time I see her
Naye: I'm glad you've joined us. I
hope Emihle didn't overwhelm you
with her forvever talking self.
Funeka: She was a great tour
guide, we really enjoyed her
presence.
Simi: I must say, you have a very
beautiful land. Langelihle had been
nothing but great to us so far.
Me: We will indeed enjoy our stay
here. It's a beautiful place to be.
Naye: We could stand here all day
and chat because the stories
never end. Let's go inside please.
We went inside and the King was
sitting on his throne. We all bowed
down and they said some praises
King: You may rise
Naye went to stand next to him.
King: Welcome to Langelihle my
daughters.
Us: Thank you my King.
The Queen introduced us to
everyone that was there, it was
their kids, the kings parents, his
brother Prince Mayibongwe and
his wife who is Nayes cousin. Two
of their friends who introduced
themselves as Nasi and Belinda
with their husbands. And there
was Sbahle and Kaitso, whom
Emihle mentioned earlier. Once
the introductions were done we
sat down at the lounge. Emihle's
grandfather seemed very fond of
me, he was even sitting next to
me as everyone spoke. There was
a lot of noise in this house and
most of it was coming from
Emihle and Buhlebenkosi, they are
the noisy siblings. I don't know
how she does it, handling
6children, let alone giving birth to
them, I'm even scared to give
birth to the one I'm carrying now.
While we were all chatting up a
storm, the helpers came in and
told us dinner was ready. We all
walked to the dinning area and to
say it was big was sn
understatement. It was just too
beautiful
King: So how old are you young
ladies?
Me: I'm 25 years old
Funeka: 24
Simi: And I'm 23
King: So you're the same as my
pumpkin?
Emihle: Dad, I'm not a pumpkin.
You're embarrassing me infront of
my peers.
Belinda: You'll always be a pumpkin
in our eyes
Lathitha: I'm the pumpkin!!
She screamed and laughed, she
was too adorable. She has no
front teeth at all, her mother
Phelo hugged her and she giggled.
I discovered that Naye and my
mother are the same age and
they both had their first
daughters at the same age. You
could see that these people are
very family orientated. It was
such a lovely atmosphere to be
around. They were fun people,
Belinda passed me some wine.
Me: No thank you.
Belinda: You don't drink?
Me: No, I do drink but I can't.
I'm expecting.
Naye: Oh wow. Congratulations!
How far are you?
Me: Just a few weeks.
King: I hope you are monitoring
yourself and taking good care of
the little one. Who is the lucky
man?
Me: Mr Zondi
King: Kwanele?
Me: Yes
He nodded
I'm glad he didn't ask anymore
questions. They just shared a look
with his brother and the friends.
Sbahle: Dad, see how Emihles
peers are pregnant now? She
should have a child too now
KJ: Sbahle, you want Nkosi to be
on my case now?
Lubah: And he will.
They all laughed and Emihle
sulked as she argued with all of
them. She called them all dad, I
guess that's what she meant
when she said she has many
fathers. The noise here, if you're
not a person who can handle alot
of noise then you wouldn't survive.
Kwenzo(KingsSon): So what made
you start The Woman Drive?
Simi: Our friend, Khethokuhle
called us in for a meeting one day
and she told us what she has
been wanting to do. It was all
her idea and we took it from
there and made it a reality. We all
took a plan and made it big,
coming up with the ideas and
implementing them and The
Woman Drive became what it is
today.
Nasi: She is the one who Bonga
was representing?
Me: Well Mr Bongani started off
by representing me and then him,
alongside with Advocate Zulu and
Buthelezi represented
Khethokuhle.
Mayibongwe: So the both of you
have been in prison?
Me: Yes
Naye: Don't be ashamed about it,
most of us have been there.
She said so and there was great
laughter. I couldnt believe that
the Queen has been in jail. Even
the Kings father, he had many
stories to tell about his days in
prison. Simi was so fascinated and
laughing the loudest. Honestly
this was such a great night, I
got to have fun and forget about
everything. I think I'm going to
love everything about this place.
We didn't even realize how late it
was now
Funeka: What a lovely time we've
had, thank you for inviting us for
dinner. The food was delicious and
the company was out of this
world. But we have to love and
leave you now. Its been a long day
Naye: I'm sure you must be
exhausted. Siphosenkosi, call the
drivers please
Emihle: No need, I'll leave with
them, please dad?
King: Only because I trust them.
Emihle: Finally!!
The way she ran to wherever she
was running to. They laughed and
we were lost
Naye: She doesn't have friends,
her father is too protective. So
please take care of my princess.
Me: We will.
She came back with a suitcase
and she had changed her royal
attire. I took off my heels and
walked barefoot. Belinda gave me
a pair of sleepers
Me: Thank you
They walked us out and Emihle
drove off. When we got home we
were all very tired and resorted
to bed. I didn't even take a
shower, thank God I had no make
up at all. So I just went to bed
and slept.

Insert 36
2weeks later
KWANELE'S P.O.V
It takes a cold heart to deny his
own flesh and blood. To deny his
own seed that he planted and
deny its existance. It took me a
full month to sulk and accept the
decision that I made. As hard as
it is, I had to do it. People may
never understand my reasons for
now but in due time it will all
make sense.
Ntethe: Time for feeling sorry for
yourself is over. You have to leave
now
Me: I know, give me a moment.
He was right, I didn't have time
to feel sorry for myself. I needed
to work and serve my time. I
played an audio where Nosi was
singing, she doesn't know about
this. I listened to it and honestly,
I missed her. I missed her every
second but I cannot miss her. I
need to cut all ties with her, its
for her own safety.
Me: I'm ready Ntethe
Ntethe: Sit on it.
He held my hand and made me sit
on the wheelchair, I hated this.
Me: Do I really have to do this?
Ntethe: That's the only way we
can have access to this man. Now
focus.
These idiots were taking
advantage of my blindness. I had
to act as if I cannot walk too. I
needed to go undercover.
I heard laughter and I knew its
those idiots.
Me: Laugh one more time and I'm
stopping.
Vusi: Like you'd do that. You know
you have to do this.
I drank a glass of whiskey before
they wheeled me out. The drive
to the centre we were going to
was quiet a long one. The car
stopped so I figured we were
there now.
Vusi: Okay, put these in your ears.
You're connected to us, we'll be
able to communicate until we're
done. Got it?
Me: Sharp, who am I going in
with?
Ntethe: With me, My name is
David Khuzwayo and you are
Peterson Khuzwayo, remember
you are blind and cannot walk. You
stutter a bit when you talk and
you have a memory loss problem
understood?
Me: Yes but this is shit. I
could've just exited in another way
Vusi: There's no other way.
We went in the centre, it was a
home for all people with any kinds
of disabilities. The man we were
looking for was George James, he
was once the owner of diamonds
cartel and he is not disabled but
using this home as a hideout.
Ntethe: Are you ready?
Me: Yes
He wheeled me in and he was
talking to the receptionist and
getting us registered.
Ntethe: That was easy
Me: I'm sure you bribed her
Ntethe: You know me. This man is
playing cards there. We're going
to his table now.
He kept on briefing the gents on
standby outside. I heard
shuffling and figured we're at the
table now.
Ntethe: Gentlemen
Voices greeted back and I was
able to identify Georges voice.
George: What can we do for you
gentlemen?
Me: Just a game of cards so we
can get to know each other. I'm
Peterson Khuzwayo, does it ring a
bell?
George: It can't be! That man is
dead!
Ntethe: Excuse us will you? We
have alot to discuss with Mr
James here.
George: Who are you and what do
you want?
Me: I did say I'm Peterson
Khuzwayo. Now listen, what you
will do is follow us to the
emergency exist and we will be out
of here. You and I are working
together from now onwards and
you will tell us where the
diamonds of your last shipment
are, understood?
George: I'm not doing that.
Ntethe: You do still care about
your daughter right? Micayla,
shes one fine dime.
George: How do you know about
her! I've kept her hiden and safe
for years! Even I've never seen
her before and you know about
her!
Me: That's why you were
supposed to not have a child in
the first place. Now we have her
and you have what we need, just
an exchange will be simple without
any shed of blood.
George: You will not kill my
daughter
He banged something which
alerted the sirens of this place.
Ntethe: Fuck! We need to get out
of here
"Kwanele! Kwanele! Can you hear
me! Get out of there now! There
are bombs in that room which are
about to explode in a minute."-
Vusi
Me: We have to leave
I stood up and Ntethe held my
hand. This is shit!
Ntethe: I can't find a way out
Me: Fuck! Vusi? Vusi?
I couldnt get ahold of him.
The bomb exploded and we fell
over. I couldn't feel Ntethe's
hand anymore. I was inhaling
smoke and it was getting heated.
There's lots of fire, and I couldn't
use my leg anymore.
Me: Ntethelelo!! Ntethe!!
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
#Nosi
To say I'm happy would be an
understatement. I am more than
happy, I have no words to
describe how great my stay has
been so far in Langelihle. The
people here are so warm and kind
hearted. Throughout the two
weeks stay we've had here,
Emihle has showed us around the
entire village of Langelihle. The
project has been up and running,
the building of the shelters have
started and we've seen the old
shelter which some women stayed
in and it was just horrific. We
gave them documents to fill in so
we can make their files and look
through them. We have put the
word out on social media
platforms and the word has
spreaded. Last weekend, Buhle,
Khetho and Ntombi were here and
they met with the royal family
and got to see how far are we
with the project. And everything
so far has been a success, I
couldnt be more happier. I was
watching TV as they walked in
and made a lot of noise
Me: It was so quiet when you
weren't here
Simi: Don't be a bore, plus we're
leaving now.
Me: Where are you going?
Funeka: We're going to PMB,
wanna come?
Me: No
Emihle: Okay, we'll bring you and
babyK goodies.
They left and I stayed and
stuffed myself with food. I'm
just 2months and a week
pregnant and the baby bump is
already visible. I'm always tired
and eating even when I'm not
hungry, I eat. I didn't leave with
them because I knew I was
going to be a bore on their trip,
I'll be tired when we've just only
stepped into 2shops. I watched
movies and there was a knock on
the door.
Me: Coming.
Where are my shoes? I'm not
walking such a distance without
my shoes. The knocking continued,
this person has no patience.
Me: I said I'm coming!! Gosh!
I walked to the door with one
slipper on and I opened.
Gosh.
Who is this guy and why is he so
handsome? He looked at me and
smiled showing his very white
teeth and cute little dimple.
Me: Hi
Him: Hello
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Why is he looking at me like that?
Why am I feeling my knees
getting weak? Please speak
before I just faint.
He clears his throat and digs into
his bag.
Him: Hi, I don't know if I'm at
the right house but I'm looking
for Miss Simlindile Photholo?
Me: She stays here but she's not
here at the moment.
Him: Okay, I will leave these
documents with you. I was told to
give them to her
Me: I'll make sure she gets them.
Him: Thank you.
He walks away
He didn't even tell me his name.
Me: Excuse me! Hey, hello!!
He looked back, gosh he's body.
Me: I didn't get your name... Who
will I say these documents are
from?
Him: I'm just a messenger. These
documents are from the old
womans shelter.
Me: Oh
Him: By the way, my name is
Sicelo Buthelezi.
I nodded as he left. I was just
star struck. I watched him as he
went to his car and drove out the
driveway.
Me: Sicelo Buthelezi, cute name.
I put the documents on the table
and went through some of them.
There was a knock on the door
again, maybe he forgot
something. I quickly went to the
door and opened.
Shit.
I bowed down and he told me to
rise. He walked in followed by his
bodygaurds. He sat down and I
didn't even know what to do with
myself. This man is so
intimidating!
Nkosi: Hello my daughter, you
seem scared
Me: Uhm, my King, I...I..waasnt..
Damn since when do I stutter?
He literally just laughed at me, I
found myself laughing too.
Nkosi: Call me dad just to make
things easier for you. Where is
that chatterbox of mine?
Me: She went to PMB with
Funeka and Simi. What can I
offer you, something to eat or
drink dad?
Nkosi: Something to eat, I don't
eat sandwiches.
That meant I had to cook.
He changed the channel and
watched soccer. Wow
I went to the kitchen and
started cooking for him and the
guards. I gave them snacks in
the meantime with juice. He came
to sit at the kitchen counter
while I cooked. This is so
awkward
Nkosi: How's the baby?
Me: The baby is okay and growing.
Thank you for asking.
Nkosi: And Kwanele?
Me: I don't know. I haven't
heard from him since I moved
here. We kinda broke up
Nkosi: Let me guess, he didn't
want the baby?
Me: How do you know?
Nkosi: I know alot more than you
think I do my child. Being the
man that he is and the type of
world he is in doesnt allow him to
have what he's heart desires nor
is he able to live the life of a
normal man. He chose that world
and there's no turning back
Was he still talking about his
blindness? He didn't choose his
blindness? I was so lost. I was
just confused. I continued cooking
while I listened to him.
Nkosi: See, as men we tend to do
things for our own fulfillment. For
our own success and to have our
name known out there. Therefore
we end up getting into things
which we will forever be tied into
till we take out last breath.
Things that can cause harm to
our families therefore we have to
hide them for their own safety
and protection. We take decisions
that don't make sense to anyone
else but ourselves. In the process
we loose those we love and
cherish and we wish we could
have normal lives but no. When
you born for greatness it dwells in
you, it trigers you to do the
unthinkable and you survive
things that no normal man
could've survived. See Kwanele
may be blind but he is a great
man. The things he does and the
decisions he takes, will confuse you
and will make you hate him but,
one day, they will make sense to
you.
He just took my brain and threw
it out the window. I've never
been so confused and lost in my
entire life. I just nodded and he
laughed at me. I finished cooking
while he told me about how he
met the Queen and their love
story. I dished up for him first
then dished up for the
bodygaurds and myself.
Me: May I ask you something?
Nkosi: Sure
Me: How do you know Kwanele?
Nkosi: We come from a similar but
different world. I could say we've
worked together in a way.
I nodded.
Nkosi: You seem like you want to
know more
Me: Why are you so hard on
Emihle?
Nkosi: She's my first child, my
first daughter and I only want
whats best for her. If I felt as
if you weren't good for her, I
wouldnt let her be friends with
you. I only do what I do to
protect her. I know I can't
protect her forever, I know I
have to let her go now but I
wanted it to be people that I
trust. Now that she's
surrounding herself with you, I
ask you to take care of her.
Me: I will
He asked for another plate of
food and I dished up for him. I
collected the dishes from the
bodygaurds and put them in the
sink.
Nkosi: You're a good cook, thank
you.
Me: Thank you
I took his plate and put it in the
sink too. He stayed for a while
and discussed the woman drive
project and he was impressed
with the progress so far.
Bodyguard: You have a call to
take My King
Nkosi: Code?
Bodyguard: Red.
He quickly stood up and took the
phone from the bodygaurd and
they stepped outside. He was on
the call for such a long time, when
he came back in I had thought
he had left already.
Nkosi: Nosipho, I have to leave
my child. Take care of yourself and
the little one. He gave me a
brown envelope and left. I locked
the door and opened the envelope.
It had so much money in it. I
made a mental note to make
groceries and divide the money
amongst the four of us.
Where is my phone? I looked for it
all over till I found it at the
kitchen. I had so many missed
calls from Menzi, Vusi, Simi and
Khetho. What is going on with
them? Argh I have no energy to
get back to them. All I want to
do is just sleep. I went to my
room and took a blanket and went
back to the lounge. I'll sleep on
the couch and wait for these girls
to come back.
I need to pee.
I woke up hours later and rushed
to the bathroom. When I came
back the girls were rushing in
Funeka: We've been so worried
about you! We called a thousand
times
Me: You left me here and you were
going to find me here. Where's the
food?
Simi: Did you hear from Menzi or
Vusi?
Me: I saw their missed calls but
I haven't called them back.
There's a handsome guy who
came here and dropped these off.
Emihle, your father was here and
he left a lump sum of money. Hey,
why didn't you put extra cheese
on this pizza?
I said as I munched and they
stood there like they've seen a
ghost.
Me: What's going on with the
three of you?
Emihle: Okay, sit down babes. We
need to tell you something.
Me: What?
I went to sit down as instructed
and they sat across me. My palms
started to sweat because they
were making me nervous
Me: Will you talk?
Simi was already crying and that
freaked me out more.
Funeka: It's about Kwanele

Insert 37
I needed to hear what they
wanted to say. I didn't know
what to think about at all.
Me: Talk!
Emihle: Please breath Nosipho.
Funeka: Kwanele and Ntethe were
in some sort of accident. Two
bombs exploded in the building
they were in and many bodies
have been found dead, some burnt
and their bodies can't be
recognized.
Me: And their bodies?
Simi: They haven't been found.
They are still looking.
Funeka: Police suspect that they
are part of the bodies which
burnt to ashes.
She sat down and cried. This is
her brother and fiance. She's
bound to feel like the whole world
is collapsing. I felt my stomach
turning and the urge to puke.
I stood up and ran to the
bathroom. I vomitted till my
throat was sore.
This can't be, it can't happen.
Not Kwanele, not the father of
my child.
Emihle: Drink some water
Nosipho, you need to be strong for
your baby and for Kwanele.
Me: Bring my phone.
I couldn't even stand still, I
couldn't believe what I was
hearing. I wanted Kwanele to be
right infront of me. I wanted to
hold him and tell him I need him
and I forgive him. I've been so
angry that I didn't think such
would happen. No one knew this
would happen.
How?
It has to be some sort of
mistake. Emihle gave me my
phone and I sat on the toilet
seat and called Menzi.
"Tell me it is all a lie Menzi, tell
me its a lie!" - I literally screamed
"Calm down Nosipho please, it's
not a lie. We're doing everything
we can to find them."- Menzi
responded, it wasn't the answer
I was looking for. It wasn't the
answer I needed to hear.
"Make sure you find them alive
Menzi!"- I shouted
"I can't promise you that. It
seems like no one survived in here.
Atleast we need to find their
bodies"- Menzi
"Please don't talk nonsense to me.
Don't!"
"Look, I have to go now. I'll call
you tomorrow morning. Try
getting some rest."- Menzi
And he ended the call. I tried
calling him again but the call was
rejected.
I called Vusi but he didn't answer
I called Lwazi and he also didn't
answer.
Aaaaaah!!!!! I threw my phone on
the wall
Emihle: Nosipho please calm down,
please.
Funeka: Drink some water
Me: I want to leave, I need to go
to Durban.
Emihle: I've spoken to my father,
we will leave first thing in the
morning.
Me: Emihle, I want to leave now.
Not tomorrow
I went to my room and packed
one bag. I took my toiletries and
car keys
Simi: Wait for us then, you cannot
leave alone.
Emihle: It's not safe for us to
drive at night. I'll call one of the
drivers to come immediately
Me: Do so, I'm giving you fifteen
minutes or I'll leave without you.
Indeed they went to pack and
were done before the fifteen
minutes ended. The driver arrived
and we got into the car. Emihle
called the King and informed her
about what was going on. He
allowed her to leave with us, she
was shocked but also happy.
Emihle: I guess my father trusts
you guys, he just agreed without
a fight.
Simi: I have a very trustable
face
Funeka: No you don't
They laughed and all I did was
just listen. My soul and mind
weren't here. All I needed was to
be next to Kwanele.
Simi: I have a trustable face
right Nosi?
Me: Sure whatever
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
I closed my eyes, maybe when I
close them it will hurt less. Maybe
he will appear in my dreams and
tell me that this is all a lie.
Maybe I am dreaming right now?
Is this real? Dear God, tell me
this is all a dream.
Tell me I am dreaming.
It is a dream.
Simi: Wake up Nosipho, we've
arrived.
The car was parked at Kwanele's
house. It was early in the
morning. I looked at my phone and
it was 3am. My back hurt, I
needed to lie down.
Me: Why are we here? I don't
want to be in this house without
him
Funeka: Vusi said we should come
here. It's much safer here and
don't you want him to find you
home when he gets back?
I nodded and we went inside.
There was Buhle, Ntombi and
Khetho. I greeted them and
went to his room. The scent of
his cologne was all over the room
Me: Kwanele.
I laid on the bed and slept for a
few hours. I woke up and went
downstairs after showering. I
got dressed in a black tracksuit
and all star sneakers.
Me: Morning
Them: Morning
Buhle: I made breakfast
Me: I'm not hungry
Khetho: Sit down and eat Nosipho,
I won't repeat myself.
I sighed and ate even though I
had no appetite at all.
Me: Any news?
Buhle: Menzi called and said
they're on their way here. They'll
tell us about any new leads they
have.
I nodded and continued eating.
Speaking of the devils. They
walked in following each other,
they looked so dirty with ashes all
over their bodies. Lwazi's arm
was even bandaged.
Me: Talk
Lwazi: Please sit down first
We all sat down at the lounge.
Menzi: We have good and bad
news. The good news being that
we've found Ntethe, he is at the
hospital right now and he is alive.
He wasn't badly hurt, he says he
managed to escape but his lungs
were a bit injured so thats why
he is being kept at the hospital.
We sighed in relief.
The bad news had to do with
Kwanele
Funeka: And Kwanele? Where is
my brother?
Lwazi: We don't know. All we have
is his jacket which was burnt and
his burnt shoe which was found
lying amongst the ashes. The
forensic team has took those
ashes to see if they match with
his DNA. All other bodies which
were found don't seem to match
his identity. The only thing we can
work on is the ashes.
Emihle: So what you're trying to
say is that he is dead?
Lwazi: Yes and have we met
before?
I forgot that the gents don't
know her. They introduced
themselves and we sat in silence.
Me: Have you told his family?
Vusi: Yes, Gagashe is all over
Durban trying to get things done
quickly so his body can be
identified
Me: Take me there
Lwazi: You cannot be seen there
Nosipho. It's not safe for you
especially the gases aren't safe
for a pregnant woman.
Me: I'll go myself
Vusi: I'm coming with you
Emihle: Don't you want to shower,
change and eat first? You don't
really look or even smell clean, not
in a bad way but you need a
shower.
I laughed at how she tried to be
less offensive but was offensive
anyways.
Me: She's right, you smell and look
horrible.
Vusi: Thank you very much
He wanted to hug us but we ran
away. They followed each other
going to freshen up while Emihle
made food for them.
Me: I remember when I cooked
for Kwanele the first time. He
monitored me and was paying
attention to me. I was confused
why he felt how I cut the
carrots rather than just looking.
And worst of all, he didn't even
eat that food, well maybe he did
when I left but I didn't see him
eat it. I got a job to be his
personal chef, little did I know
that I was working for a blind
man. Little did I know that I'd
fall inlove with this very same
blind man. I was so shocked when
I discovered that he is blind, I
mean, this guy was able to do
most things himself. He didn't
seem to be blind at all, the first
few days I thought he was
joking. As time went by I felt
sorry for him, the more time I
spent with him was the more I
accepted him and the more I fell
inlove with him. In just a short
amount of time he had full
ownership of my heart. He had
won me over and made me feel like
the only woman in this entire
world.
The tears flowed and I laughed.
Me: Look at me, crying over the
same men who broke my heart.
The man who broke my heart into
peices. Funny how he is the one
who broke my heart and he is the
one whom I'm longing for to put
those pieces together again. He
cannot just leave me in this world,
he cannot do that.
Funeka stood up and went
outside. I just sat there and
waited for the guys. Once they
were done with everything we all
left and headed to where this
bomb attack took place. The place
was still surrounded by police and
families coming to check on their
family members who died on the
scene. It was a sad place to be.
Me: Isn't this a home for disabled
people?
Lwazi: Yes...
I looked at them and they looked
the other way. They have alot of
explaining to do. What were they
doing here in the first place?
I walked around and the police
stopped me.
Police: Mam, please move away
from there. No one is allowed in
here
Me: Have you found the body of
Kwanele Zondi?
Police: No mam but we're trying
too...
Me: Save it. I'll look for it myself,
if I don't come back with him
then it will mean he is alive and
suffering somewhere! You need to
find him!
I continued walking into what
was left of the building. The smell
in here was suffocating, I couldnt
even see properly.
Me: Kwanele!! Kwanele!!!
There wasn't anyone responding.
I couldnt find him nor could I
even see where I was going. The
building was damaged and there
were some bodies covered in here.
I looked into some and it wasn't
Kwanele. Some I couldnt even tell
whether it was a body or not.
I puked.
There was some shuffling under a
huge wall that has fallen.
Me: Kwanele, Kwanele is that you?
"Help"- the voice said in a low
tone.
Me: Help!!! There's someone in
here!!
I couldnt carry the broken wall by
myself. The paramedics and police
came in and carried it.
Me: It's not Kwanele
I left them there and continued
looking. I was coughing and my
eyes were burning.
Vusi: Let's get you out of here.
He's not here Nosipho. Let's go
Me: He has to be here, he has to.
I cried and he carried me out the
building. We got into the car and
he drove.
Me: Take me to the hospital, I
want to see Ntethe
He nodded and told the others. We
went to the hospital and the
doctor told us he was awake. We
got into his room and Funeka
threw herself on him. She was
kissing his entire face.
Ntethe: You're hurting me
Funeka: Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm
just happy to see you.
She helped him sit up and she sat
next to him. They all sat down
and I stood still by the door
Me: How are you feeling?
Ntethe: My body hurts but I'm
okay. The doctor said he will keep
me in here for two days.
Me: That's good. Now tell me,
what were you doing there?
Vusi: I don't think its the right
time to be talking about such
things
Me: I wasn't talking to you Vusi.
Ntethelelo, what were you doing
there?
Ntethe: We had a mission. We
needed to get a man by the name
of George James out of that
centre, he wasn't disabled but
was using the centre as hideout.
When we were with him and
discussing a few things, sirens
went on and Kwanele and I tried
to run away but all doors were
closed. We were together, I
remember I was holding his hand
when the first bomb exploded we
lost contact. A building fell in
between us and thats where I
ran. When I managed to go over
the wall separating us, the second
bomb exploded and I lost
conscious. I don't remember
anything that happened
afterwards, I woke up at the
hospital. I don't know what
happened to Kwanele. I'm sorry
Nosi
Me: What does this George guy
have that you want?
Lwazi: Diamonds, worth billions of
rands.
Me: Don't you have enough of
those?
Vusi: In the world we live in,
there's never enough. We need
those diamonds and we are going
to find them.
Me: Was Kwanele head of this
mission?
Menzi: Kwanele is head of all
missions, he is our leader.
Me: Don't you know that he is
blind!!! That he shouldn't be
physically involved in all these
missions, things could go wrong.
Things have went wrong! He
shouldn't have been there.
Lwazi: He's never there, well at
times. This one needed him. He
needed to be there
Me: And look what happened now.
Look where those diamonds got
you and you don't even want to
stop.
Vusi: We won't stop
Emihle: Till you all die? This is the
same life my parents lived for the
longest time and it's no fun.
Dodging bullets, bombs, living in
hideouts and all sorts of dangers
you may think of
Vusi: I'm glad you're familiar with
it so we won't be having any
problems with you.
Me: Unbelievable. I want to go
home
Funeka: I'll stay behind
We said our goodbyes and I got
into the car with Emihle. Vusi was
irritating me so I didn't want to
be around him.
Emihle: Are we at the right
place? It's so full here.
Me: What are you these cars
doing here?
There were two taxis and many
private cars. We parked behind
them
Menzi: Shit
Me: Care to explain?
He just walked into the house and
I followed him. When we got in
the furniture had been moved in
the lounge, it was replaced by bed
mattress's and sponges. People I
didn't know where moving around
the house serving tea. I spotted
Bonnie and grabbed her
Me: What is going on here?
Bonnie: Please ask MaMzobe, I'm
just doing my job.
There was a young lady sitting
next to the candle, she had a
black doek on and was covered
with a blanket. Doesn't the
mother sit there if the deceased
wasn't married? Anyways, who
died? They can't be doing this for
Kwanele. His mom was sitting
next to this girl.
I'm about to loose my mind.
Gagashe came in and I went
straight to him
Me: Baba, what is going on here?
Gagashe: You are here MaNdelu.
We've received sad news about my
son. The forensic team just left,
the ashes which were found near
Kwaneles shoes match his DNA.
It is Kwanele's ashes, I'm so
sorry my child.
No.
No.
No
It can't be. He isn't dead. They
did some sort of mistake. It is
not his ashes, he didn't burn to
death. Someone tell them this
isn't true.
Me: Where are his ashes?
Gagashe: In the urn in his room.
I am still waiting for my elders to
arrive and give us a way forward.
We've never buried someone
without his or her body. I need
their guidance.
Me: This is nonsense. This is
nonsense Gagashe and you know
it! MaMzobe, is your son dead?
Tell them he is still alive. Tell
them! You haven't felt it have
you? Your son is still breathing, a
mother knows. A mother always
knows, don't tell me you believe he
is dead. Kwanele is not dead!!
MaMzobe: Calm down Nosipho
please my child. The ashes are his
I screamed and this girl sitting
next to the candle just cried out
so loudly. I looked at Gagashe
Me: Who is she?
Gagashe: Kwanele's wife.
Me: Kwanele's what? Tell me you
are joking
Gagashe: The both of you had
separated. Kwanele had to get
married soon and we had found
the woman he would marry. Pity
this happened before they met.
Me: You will mourn a man you've
never met? A man whom you don't
even know one single thing about?
You will marry a dead man! Are
you insane?
Her: He is my husband
Me: Husband my foot! Get out of
here, the only person who should
be sitting there is me, I am his
girlfriend, the mother of his child
and he was going to marry me. I
don't know who you are or where
do you come from but if you're still
there when I come back, Lord
have mercy on you.
I went upstairs to Kwanele's
safe. These people were crazy.
They were dragging me into his
madness. Kwanele is not dead, I
can feel it. He isn't dead at all. I
unlocked his safe and took out his
gun. I went back downstairs and
she was still sitting there. This
girl is testing me
I took out the gun and pointed it
at her
MaMzobe: Ngane yam! Nosipho
don't do this
Me: I want each and everyone of
you to stand up, take your
belongings and get out of this
house. In 15seconds, I want you
out of here. MaMzobe and
Gagashe stay behind.
I looked at Menzi and Vusi, they
were cracking up in laughter.
People stood up and took their
things
Simi: Hey! Leave the food
I put the gun down once they
have left. What did I just do?
The look Gagashe gave me, gosh
I just embarrassed him
Gagashe: My son found one crazy
woman. A strong woman that is.
Tell me, what should we do my
child? Everything is in your hands
Me: What do you mean?
MaMzobe: His lawyer contacted
me. He told me we cannot do
anything without your permission.
Everything Kwanele owns,
everything in his name belongs to
you.
I couldn't believe what I was
hearing. Why would Kwanele do
this? He cannot be dead. He
cannot leave me with such a huge
responsibility.
Me: No, there has to be some
mistake.
Gagashe: There's no mistake
Nosipho
He is serious
This is too much for me to handle.
Me: I don't know what to do but
what I ask of you is to not give
up yet. Let's wait for atleast a
week and take things from there.
We cannot give up, just not so
soon.
They agreed with me and
MaMzobe prayed. We needed to
hold on just a little while longer.
Kwanele please come back to me.
God show me something,
something that can prove that
he isn't dead. Just give me
something I can hold onto. This is
too much for me, I can't do it
alone.

Insert 38
I didn't even feel like waking up.
I don't want to face reality. But
I have to wake up and do
something, I don't know what it
is that I need to do but I have
to do something. I woke up and
did my morning routine. I went
downstairs and made a salad and
had my breakfast. Funeka and
Ntombi came and made breakfast
for everyone. I also ate with
them when they were having
breakfast, they were having
their own conversation and I
wasn't participating at all. My
mind was elsewhere.
MaMzobe: Do you want more
food?
Me: No thank you. Excuse me
I went to sit outside. It
reminded me of the time where
he said I took his thinking spot.
Who would've known that a few
months later I'd be sitting here
crying because of this situation.
That I'd be pregnant with his
child
Its true when they say life is
unpredictable.
I didn't know what to do with
myself, I just wanted to sit and
wait.
I don't know what I'm waiting
for but I wanna sit and wait.
I already feel miserable, how
much more miserable will I be for
the next coming days, weeks,
months and years?
I don't want to feel this way.
Kwanele, please come back to me.
Khetho: Nosipho, please come you
need to hear this. The police and
forensic team are here. It's an
urgent matter.
I stood up and went back to the
house. They were too serious for
my liking, it shows that they had
very bad news for me.
Lady: Good morning Mam, we've
come to find new developments in
the case of Mr K. Zondi.
Me: And those are?
Police: As the forensic team had
found his ashes, I'm sure you saw
they didn't even fill half way of
the urn
Me: I didn't look at it, is that
true Gagashe?
Gagashe: Yes my daughter
Police: Those ashes were ashes of
his legs which were burnt to
ashes. We've found solid evidence
that Mr Zondi has passed on. He
died in the bomb explosion
Me: And what solid evidence is
that?
Lady: He's body. We would like you
to come with us so you can
identify it and it be taken to the
mortuary. We are very sorry for
your loss
Me: I haven't confirmed that it
is his body yet!
These people just love making me
feel crazy.
Me: I'll go change
I went to change and Lwazi said
he will drive for me. We left with
MaMzobe and Thando.
Lwazi: We've arrived.
No.
I felt as if the drive was too
short. They just wanted me to
face reality.
I wasn't ready
Thando: Get out of the car
Nosipho, you need to do this.
I got out of the car and walked
behind them. I didn't want to see
the body first.
MaMzobe wailed!
I couldn't do it. I couldn't go look
at it. Her wail just confirmed a
lot.
Thando: It's my brother
This is the first time I've ever
seen Thando crying.
Lady: Mam, it's your turn
I nodded and went to see this
body. It was indeed his face.
Me: I want to see his entire body
Lady: Mam, you may be
traumatized after seeing it. It's
not a good thing especially for
someone in your condition.
How did she know?
She looked at me my belly and I
remembered I was just wearing a
vest so it was visible. They
removed the cover and he didn't
have his left leg, the right leg
was burnt halfway. His arm was
burnt too, his body was just
horrible but recognizable.
Me: Turn it around, I want to see
the back
The scar was there
It is him.
I kissed his lips
They were cold and dead.
Me: Cover him up.
I was convinced.
He is dead.
Me: Take him to the mortuary.
MaMzobe: We have to call
Gagashe, we must all go home
Me: Home?
MaMzobe: Yes, KwaMashu
Exactly how many homes does this
family have? Lwazi hasn't
uttered any word. He was hurt
and his face was red.
This was hard on everyone.
Kwanele is dead.
It all seems surreal
I thought I had faith and
something to hold onto but I
didn't.
This just changes everything. We
went back to his house and I
packed. Everyone went to pack
their belongings and all roads lead
to KwaMashu.
When we got there, some of his
family members were already
there. His home was a big, simple
and sophisticated home. It was
very beautiful
Menzi: Do you want to go to his
house? I don't want you to be
around my aunties, they talk alot
and you seem like you need time
alone.
Me: Please take me there
We walked around the yard and
went to his house. It was a
three bedroom house with two
bathrooms, kitchen and lounge.
Me: Did you choose these interior
designs? Because this is definitely
not Kwanele
Menzi: He can't see so I took
advantage, I like it.
Me: I prepare the white
He laughed at me and I went to
his room. I slept on his bed and
that is when the tears came.
I cried
I cried for a while and it really hit
me.
Me: Why did you leave me? Answer
me Kwanele! Answer me!
There was no response
He isn't here to reply and be
arrogant. I laughed as I
remembered some of the
conversations we had.
We had too little time
This can't be the end.
Just when I closed my eyes there
was a knock on the door
Me: Go away!
Emihle: I won't do that. You know
I'll talk till you open
She was even screaming. I stood
up and opened then went back to
bed
Emihle: You have to wake up, Dad
is here
Me: The king? What is he doing
here?
Emihle: No man, I'm talking about
Bongani
Me: Ohh, you should've been
specific.
She was talking about Advocate
Luthuli, he is Kwanele's lawyer.
We went to the main house and
the looks I received from the
woman who were at the kitchen.
I greeted, some responded and
some didn't respond. We went to
Gagashes office.
Me: Hello
Bonga: Nosipho, how are you?
Me: I'm okay
He nodded and took out his laptop.
Bonga: So, his death has made
the news. Its all over social media
and it will appear on television
tonight.
Me: Who told them about it?
Bonga: Someone leaked the story,
I suspect its the mortuary or
forensic team but I will get to
the bottom of it. What I need is
your signature to approve of this
investigation and I need you to
sign these to confirm that
everything he owned now belongs
to you. It will take just a day till
everything is transferred to you.
You take all decisions towards his
assets and his funeral.
He gave me a brown envelope
with all his personal belongings
and his cards. His wallet had a
picture of me, Menzi is responsible
for this. He laughed and winked
at me.
Me: Thank you
Bonga: Heres my card, you can call
me at any time.
I thanked him and he bid
farewell. We went to the lounge.
The stares I got where creepy.
They were just too much. There
was an old woman who was
sitting there looking at me. She
waved for me to come sit next to
her.
Her: Hello my child, I'm Kwanele's
grandmother
Me: Hello Gogo
Gogo: I hear you are expecting,
congratulations you are carrying
wonderful gifts
Me: Gifts?
Gogo: You are expecting twins
Me: No gogo you're mistaken. It
is just one child
She laughed at me and touched
my stomach.
Gogo: You love being in denial, just
like you were in denial about his
death now this. I heard you
pointed a gun at my family, he
truly found his kind
Me: What do you mean?
Gogo: You don't know? That man
was ruthless, he took it from his
grandfather. I guess his
blindness made him more angry
and aggressive
Me: I wouldnt say he is ruthless,
he's a very kind and quiet man.
Gogo: Let's just say you didn't
know that side of him. You should
always remember the good and
not the bad.
We spoke a little longer, the more
she told me about Kwanele was
the more it hurt. What hurt me
the most was realizing I didn't
know much about him. We didn't
get enough time.
Me: Excuse me gogo
I wanted to go back to his house
but I was stopped by the aunties
Aunty: Makoti we need groceries,
we need to start cooking for the
guests who will keep coming to
see the family. He left all the
money with you so we depend on
you
Aunty2: I don't know what he
was thinking, giving his money to
a stranger. She didn't even buy
groceries, you are not even
dressed properly. Don't you have
any respect for the dead?
I just kept quiet and left them
there. I looked for Khetho
Me: Let's go grocery shopping
please before I loose my mind
Khetho: What happened?
Me: I'll tell you once we leave
Simi: We're coming with
We took Vusi's car because it was
bigger. I told them what
happened along the way to the
mall.
Emihle: Let's go to Checkers, we'll
find everything we need there.
Buhle: Why are these people
taking pictures of us? I mean, I
didn't know TWD was so famous....
no no, they taking pictures of
Nosipho.
They were indeed taking pictures
of me. The journalists came closer
and took endless pictures of me. I
tried hiding my face but the
flashlights kept coming.
Journalist: Is it true that you
are engaged to the deceased
business tycoon?
Journalist2: How do you feel
about his death? How did you
manage to date a blind man?
Journalist3: He left everything
to you, did you make the poor blind
man sign over his assets to you?
You've always been after his
money, I mean why would you
date a blind man?
Journalist 1: Is it true that you
are pregnant? Is it Mr Kwanele's
child? Why did he hide your
relationship while he was still
alive?
This was all just too much. How
did they know so much about me?
How did they know I was with
Kwanele? He never made our
relationship known publicly and
now I know why. How did they
find out?
Emihle: Okay enough now. If you
don't leave I will sue your
company
Journalist 2: Aren't you the
princesss of Langelihle? How are
you friends with Miss Nosipho
Blose? What is your involvement
with Mr Zondi?
Emihle: Leave or I'll make sure
you loose your job.
She took out her phone and took
pictures of them. They suddenly
left, I got space to breath a bit.
Now everyone was looking at us.
We did our shopping, yet I was
very uncomfortable. I got a call
from Bonga.
Me: Hey
Bonga: Leave that mall right now
Nosipho and come to my office.
Emihle knows where it is.
Me: How did you know I was at
the mall?
Bonga: The video is all over social
media.
He ended the call and I told the
others. We finished up and Emihle
drove to his offices. He seemed
busy when we got in. We waited
till he finished up with his call
Bonga: I've taken care off those
journalists. See your life is about
to change, well it has changed.
Its all out now and there's
pretty much nothing we can do
about it. You can't go to wherever
you want and whenever like you
did before. You have enemies
everywhere and you need high
detail security at all times.
Me: Wait, what enemies? I didn't
do anything to anyone
Bonga: I know but Kwanele is
gone, all of his enemies are now
your enemies. Especially since you
now own everything, people didn't
know you, you're an amateur in
the business, all they want to do
is kill you and take over or take
advantage of you so you need to
be smart. Some business you will
run with Menzi and some were his
alone so it means they are yours
alone.
Me: I didn't sign up for this. No
this isn't my life
Bonga: This became your life the
minute you got into a relationship
with Kwanele. This is the life you
were going to live even when he
was alive.
Me: He didn't tell me about all
this.
Bonga: He was going to tell you
when the time is right. And then
this happened now you know and
have to take over. My phone rang
and it was my mother
"Ma"- I said
"What is going on? Why haven't
you told me that Kwanele died?
Where are you and why are you all
over the social media?"- Mom
"Mom I'll call you tonight please.
There's just alot going on right
now I can't explain everything."-
I responded
"Call me then. Bye, I hope you're
well. I love you"- Mom
"I love you too bye."- I responded
then ended the call.
Bonga continued briefing me. All
he said just made me feel more
lost and overwhelmed. Everything
was just becoming too much.
Me: I want to go home
I said goodbye to him and went
back to the car. Emihle drove off
and we went back.
MaMzobe: Where have you been?
I've been looking for you. What's
with the groceries?
Ntombi: We went to buy groceries
Ma. The aunties wanted groceries
MaMzobe: What groceries? We
have groceries all over this house.
Please don't let them control you
and push you around. I've been
married here for years but they
still don't like me. They are just
hard to please.
They went to pack the groceries
while I watched t.v. I was tired,
I needed to just sit down and
relax.
Vusi: Penny for your thoughts?
Me: Oh no, I'll sell them for a
dollar.
He laughed at me and sat next to
me.
Vusi: Ntethe will be discharged
tomorrow
Me: That's good.
Vusi: He says he's afraid, he feels
like you blame him for what
happened
Me: No I don't. I blame all of you,
Kwanele included. It's no use
pointing fingers, he shouldn't feel
that way. He also got hurt and
lost a friend. I'll go with you if
you're going to fetch him
tomorrow.
We watched a movie till Funeka
came running in telling us to
watch the news. Indeed
Kwanele's death was announced.
Vusi: News travel fast hey
I wanted to change the channel
but I stopped when my face
appeared. They said I am his
fiance and I'm expecting. It was
mostly everything those
journalists asked me about.
Me: Gossipers
I was so irritated especially when
they talked about my pregnancy
and the "inheritance"
My life has just took a massive
turn. I haven't even had time to
mourn. I went to bed and looked
at his pictures. This is it hey, our
short-lived relationship has come
to an end. It's time I accepted it
and do what he trusted me to do.
I mean I don't even have
qualifications, I failed Matric,
how the hell am I supposed to
run all his businesses? Where will
I even start? Kwanele has left
me with so much and I don't
know how I'm going to do it but
I'll do it. I will not let him down
nor let his name fall.

Insert 39
It's been a week.
A week since my life totally
changed
A week since I lost the love of my
life.
I had this week to mourn, accept
and adapt . I mourned him,
accepted his death and adapted
to the life I will have without
him. Preparing his funeral wasn't
an easy task. I wanted the best
for him and the best came and
the best price. I was shouted at
for using too much money for the
funeral. What did they want? For
him to have an ordinary funeral?
He wasn't an ordinary man.
I walked around the yard to
check if everything was in place.
Indeed everything was the way
I wanted it to be. From the
arrangement, decor and catering.
I went back to his house and got
dressed. I wore a tight black
dress to show off my stomach and
a white coat. My nose was so big,
the things this baby is doing to
me.
There was a knock on the door
and I opened. It was Ntethe,
Lwazi, Menzi and Vusi. They all
looked dapper in their black and
gold suits.
Me: It's going to take time for
me to get used to it just being
the four of you. He should be
standing right behind Menzi and
overwhelming me with his
presence. I don't know, I always
felt like he was always looking at
me. Like he's eyes were on me, I
had that heavy feeling.
Lwazi: He was always looking at
you Nosipho
Me: He can't see
Lwazi: I know that but he
always had his eyes on you.
Beneath those glasses, he could
see and imagine alot.
Vusi: He always told us that
you're very beautiful. I one day
asked him how sure is he because
he's never seen you, only we tell
him you're beautiful and we could
be lying, I mean we've done that
before. He told us that he may
not be able to see you physically
but he knows deep down how
beautiful you are, when you're in
his presence he shivers and he
feels goosebumps all over his body,
he said in that is where your
beauty lies.
I cried.
I've been crying alot for the past
week.
It's what I needed to do and
wanted to do. I had accepted
that he is really dead, that I'll
never ever see him again. That
I'll always have a constant
reminder of him and his presence
in my life. That I will raise a
fatherless child, all on my own.
I know he didn't want our baby
but it would be different if he
was alive. At some point I
believed he would change his mind.
Now how is that all supposed to
happen when he is not alive
anymore?
Menzi: Not only did I loose a
brother, I lost my best friend, my
partner in everything I do.
Kwanele and I were always
together, from a very young age
we were inseparable. I lost my
twin
We all smiled and had a group hug
Ntethe: Now we have to take
care of his little cub in here.
Me: Yes you do
Menzi: He will definitely be spoilt
Me: It's a girl
Menzi: Don't tell me you're
listening to Buhle. We've been
arguing about it alot.
Me: How are things between you
too?
Menzi: Good, better than it ever
was. I guess its now that I'm
giving myself a chance to love her
and see her only for what she is
and not having to have split
feelings between her and Khetho.
I'm enjoying my time with her
and learning to love her alone.
Vusi: And Khetho?
Menzi: I love her but I can't
have her. She's made it clear
that she's moved on, she never
loved me all she wanted was to
have fun. I won't loose a diamond
while chasing glitter
Me: Woah, these are both my
friends so shut it.
Menzi: Sorry
They left and we chilled for a
while
Ntethe: We'll leave you for a
moment, the funeral is about to
start. They left and I looked at
myself in the mirror one more
time.
Me: You are strong black child.
I smiled at myself and brushed
my tummy. I put my heels on and
locked the house. They were
waiting for me and Lwazi held my
hand.
Lwazi: You shouldn't have worn
these high heels. You're pregnant
Me: Don't start. My stomach is
not even that big, I can still
wear high heels.
Menzi: You'll stop soon, you might
trip and fall.
Did Kwanele just die and replace
himself with four other
Kwaneles? Kwenzokuhle came to
me. Where on earth has he been?
Kwenzo: Sisi
Me: Where have you been? I've
been calling you and you're not
answering my calls. You just
disappeared into thin air
He hasn't set foot in his home
ever since we received the news
of the passing of Kwanele. Its his
brother, how could he not be here
all this time and suddenly appear
in his funeral?
Kwenzo: I had things to take
care off
Me: Things more important than
your brothers death? Are you out
of your mind?
Kwenzo: No and I'm sorry.
Everything I was sorting out had
to do with his death.
Menzi: Let him go
Me: What is going on here?
Kwenzo: Nothing. Let's just go
We went to the tent and
everything was in order. I went
to sit on the second row behind
his family. My mom was sitting
next to me, she's been here since
I called her and explained what
happened. My friends were in the
row behind me, I laughed at how
Menzi was sitting in between
Buhle and Khetho. He should be
sitting at the front with the
family, what is he doing? Maybe it
was just a coincident or I'm just
over analysing this. Anyways, let
me focus.
Mom: MaMzobe is calling you
I looked over at her and she was
signalling that I should go sit
with the family at the front row.
Me: But I'm okay here
Mom: Stop being dramatic, go sit
at the front.
I did as I was told and went to
sit at the front row next to
Funeka.
The funeral started
I couldn't believe it, it all felt
surreal. It was really his funeral
now. I looked at his picture which
was right infront of me. The choir
was singing, I didn't see a need
for it but MaMzobe insisted that
she wanted a choir. All I wanted
was a simple and quick funeral but
it seemed to be more than what
I wanted. Atleast I got the high
class funeral I wanted, it had to
match his status. The
programme continued as his
employees, business partners and
all work related associates spoke.
After that family friends spoke,
to family relatives and the
immediate family. Menzi and
MaMzobe spoke
MaMzobe: It is always hard for a
parent to bury their own child
when the child is supposed to be
the one burying the parent. I'm
saddened by my sons sudden
death, he died in a very tragic
way which no one ever thought it
would happen, especially to him.
My son was no ordinary man, from
the day he was born, I knew I
gave birth to a great man. And
indeed he was a great man, my
son got blind when he was 5, he
lived almost all his life as a blind
man and he lived his life to the
fullest with his blindness. He gave
me the best and most challenging
parenting experience. May your
soul rest in peace my son, Rest in
peace Gagashe.
Menzi: Not only have I lost a
brother but I lost my twin. As
most of you know, Kwanele and I
are the same age but I'm older.
We grew up doing everything
together, we were young, just
5years old when he got blind. I
remember we were in my room and
he was crying. He said to me
"Menzi, I can't see now. We won't
be able to do everything we
planned to do. So I trust that
you will be my eyes and do it all."
That day I swore to myself that
I will make sure he experiences
everything. He may not be able to
see but I knew he deep down if
he had the experience, I would
feel better about myself. We had
the greatest moments in life,
even in his weakest days and my
weakest days, we were together.
You'd swear we were a married
couple. He knew everything about
me and I knew everything about
him. I remember when he told me
he is inlove, I laughed at him
because I knew there was no way
he could be inlove. He was really
someone who despised
relationships and love because of
his eyesight but because MaNdelu
came into his life, it all changed.
Never have I ever seen Kwanele
that happy. Nosipho was his
happiness and that was it. My
brother is a strong man, I look up
to him. He has made big sacrifices
which I applaud him for. He will
forever be in my heart and the
hearts of many. Thank you
From there his friends spoke and
it was now my turn. I had
written what I wanted to say
last night but I didn't want to
use it anymore.
Me: I had written something but
now I want to speak from the
bottom of my heart. I loved
Kwanele, putting it in past tense
hurts because he is no more. But
I know I love him and I'll always
love him. I can honestly say he
was the first guy that took my
heart and owned it. He gave me
the best experience of love, he
made me feel like a woman, his
woman and the only woman in the
world. He was an extraordinary
man, sometimes I would argue
with myself telling myself that
this man is not blind at all, how
can a blind man be able to do so
much for himself? How is this
possible? But all of that served
to prove what a great man he
was. We had little time together
but in that little time he left me
with a gift I'll hold onto for the
rest of my life. A special reminder
of him and the greatest
treasure. Rest in peace Nondaba,
Gagashe, Mancinza, Nhlab'shile
Luqa, Bhambatha, Wena
owancinza isoka labuyela
entombini. Hamba kahle Gagashe
wami.
I went to sit down and mom
squeezed my hand. I was happy
with what I said, in what I had
written I mentioned the bad
things he had done. Which is
something I decided I don't want
the world to know. He hurt me,
yes, but I still wanted to protect
his image. I wanted to protect
him.
The funeral proceeded and it was
a success.
Gagashe: Thank you everyone for
attending the funeral and
supporting us throughout this
tough time. On behalf of the
Zondi family, I thank you. The
loss of our son came as a great
shock. Even I am still in disbelief
and I'm coming to terms with it.
As we move onto the Zondi grave
yard we would like everyone to
move over to the green tent and
the Zondi Family will be headed to
the graveyard.
We stood up, prayed and left. I
was walking with my friends going
to the green tent where everyone
would sit and wait for the Zondi's.
Gagashe: Where are you going to
Nosipho? You're going to the
grave with us.
Me: I didn't know I was included
babah, I thought only the Zondi's
will go.
He nodded and told me to follow
him. The graveyard wasn't too
far from the house.
Aunty: What is she doing here!!
This is total disrespect
Ndodayesizwe!
Who is that?
Gagashe: Aunty, I will not
tolerate disrespect in my own
home, who gives you permission to
call me by my name? Infront of
my children!! You will leave if you
cannot shut that mouth. She will
be here with us.
The ceremony proceeded and I
threw in the sand. It all went
well without any drama. I ignored
the aunties when we left as they
were talking about me. I laughed
as one of them said the baby isn't
Kwanele's I just wanted money.
They continued talking as I
washed my hands and went to my
friends. The caterers started
serving food.
Me: Thank God, I'm hungry.
I took two plates and I dug in
Simi: Woah, someone was hungry.
Me: You have no idea
Khetho: Today went well, It was
a great send off.
Menzi: Yes it was, he deserved it.
Me: All I want to do is sleep, I'm
just tired its been a long day. I'm
still in disbelief about today but
anyways, life happens. I have to
move on, I'm going back to
Langelihle tomorrow
Funeka: Me too, I want to leave
now.
Me: Plus work is waiting for us,
we have alot to do
Emihle: I don't think Gagashe will
let you leave so soon. I really
doubt
Me: He can't do that, why will I
stay here? I'll suffocate, I need
to relax. I need to find a way
forward with my life, I need to
focus on these businesses I need
to monitor and focus on my babies.
I have alot on my plate with
little time so I need to leave
Gagashe: Where are you going?
Shit. He heard me
Me: Langelihle Baba, I need to
get back to work.
Gagashe: When?
Me: Tomorrow Baba
Gagashe: That's not happening,
we're going to Kwanele's place
tomorrow. You and I need to sort
a few things out.
Me: But Gagashe...
Gagashe: I will not repeat myself
Me: Yebo baba
He left, gosh this guy? Why is he
so intimidating, if he wasn't so
intimidating I would've said no.
Funeka: You know, I didn't know
my father's name till today.
I was so shocked.
She laughed and told the story
and explained how her father was
a strict man, he didn't even want
them to know his name, they just
knew his initials and that was it.
We went to Kwanele's house and
chilled the for the rest of the
afternoon just chilling and talking.
Its been a while since we had
this, just us girls talking and
laughing
Buhle: I missed this.
Ntombi: Tell me about it, it's been
a while. These girls stay in
Langelihle now so they are scarce.
Me: You can always fly to
Langelihle so don't blame us.
After long funny little arguments
we had and good laughter they
went to their rooms and I took a
shower. I got in bed and scrolled
through Kwanele's pictures.
" I miss you"
For the first time today I cried
for him. I didn't want to cry
infront of people. I needed my own
space, just to suffer in silence. I
needed to cry for my lover and the
father of my child.
While I was crying my phone rang.
"Nosipho speaking hello"
"Don't start what you can't
finish!"- voice, it was a weird
voice.
"What are you talking about?"- I
responded
"Watch yourself."- the call ended.
Mxm.
I don't have time for nonsense.
The phone rang again and no one
spoke.
"Stop your shit!" I shouted
There was a familiar laugh and
the call ended
What was that about?
I switched off my phone and
covered myself with blankets
I need my peaceful sleep.

Insert 40
Gagashe: I'm only being sweet
because you're pregnant. I'm
giving you 5minutes
I couldn't believe it. This man
woke me up at 4am and he says
such nonsense. I still need my
beauty sleep. I woke up and took
a very quick shower. My bags
were all packed and the helpers
put them in his car. I went to
the main house and he was
waiting for me
Gagashe: Let's leave
Me: Baba, Kwanele's place isn't
even that far. Why are we leaving
so early? I need to sleep
Gagashe: You have alot of work
to do, you don't have time to sleep
Me: Kodwa baba, I'm pregnant
and I need rest. This is unfair.
Gagashe: He did say you can be a
baby at times
Me: Who? What are you talking
about?
He laughed and just drove. It
was weird seeing him drive, he
always as a driver. Its just the
two of us today. This will be a
very long day that I knoe. I
closed my eyes and slept till we
got to Kwanele's place.
Me: Where are his cars?
Gagashe: Garage
I nodded and we went inside the
house. It was weird, it wasn't in
order.
Me: What happened here!?
Bonnie!!
Gagashe: They are not here.
What are you doing?
I was fixing things, this place
has been completely changed.
Me: Who was here? Things have
been moved, Kwanele's house isn't
like this. Do something!
Gagashe: I think you are
overreacting. I see no difference
here.
I ignored him and went upstairs.
His smell was all over the
place,stronger than it was when
we left. I opened his safe and
some of his stuff wasn't there.
My photo that's in there was
missing too.
Somethings don't add up
I went back to Gagashe
Me: Where is Kwanele?
Gagashe: Hawu, inani kanti
lentombazane?( What's wrong
with this girl?) We just buried
Kwanele, you were there and you
saw it all. Now what's the
matter?
Me: Something don't add up
Gagashe. Some of his stuff is
missing and only the both of us
knew the password to his safe.
Gagashe: You are just imagining
things
Me: What about his scent that is
all over that room? Its like he
was just there. When I left it
had faded away, now its there?
How is it possible? Was he here
Gagashe? Where are you hiding
him!!!!
Gagashe: I know this is hard on
you but you have to accept that
Kwanele is dead. He wasn't here
and he'll never be here. You need
to accept it and move on. Stop
having hallucinations before you
completely loose your mind. You
need to be sane so you can raise
that baby well.
I looked at him and sighed. Is he
saying I'm insane? I think if I
spend more time with him then
I'll really be insane because he is
driving me to that point.
Me: What are we doing here? We
should hurry so I can go sleep. I
need some rest Gagashe
Gagashe: Well you'll have to wait.
Take these and change, I'll give
you 10mins.
I took the small bag and went
upstairs, it was a black leather
jumpsuit and black boots. I got
dressed and went downstairs
Me: Are we going to ride bikes?
Did you see how hot it is
Gagashe? Anyways, why am I
the only one wearing this?
Gagashe: This pregnancy of yours
gave you guts to talk to me. At
first you couldn't even say one full
sentence
I laughed at him and he shook
his head. We went to his car and
he drove off.
Me: Where are we going?
Gagashe: I think you should
sleep. You talk alot.
Me: I don't want to sleep, I want
to know where we're going. Plus
this thing is itchy and too tight.
I realized we're going to
Kwaneles sacred place. I looked at
him and he smiled.
Gagashe: I know everything
about my son, he thought I didn't
know about this place but I do. I
was shocked when he took you
here, I mean he's never taken
anyone here even Menzi. My son
loved you and it was something
amazing to see. I love MaMzobe,
but not the way Kwanele loves
you. Its like he's life depends on
it. The sacrifices he made, it just
amazes me.
Me: Everyone keeps on saying he
made sacrifices but I don't know
any sacrifices. Gagashe tell me,
where is Kwanele?
Gagashe: Kwanele is dead
Nosipho. The sacrifices he made
will come to light soon. All you
have to do is stick to his last
wishes.
Me: This all seems surreal. It will
be alot to do.
We went in and I put in the
password. Gagashe: I'll leave you
here. I'll be back in a bit. But I
need you to listen to this first
Me: What?
I was shocked when I heard
Kwanele's voice. I literally
screamed and cried
Me: Kwanele!! Where is he??
Gagashe: He recorded this when
you left him. You need to listen to
this, it is important. I'll leave you
to it.
I gave me the remote and left. I
sighed and listened.
"Nosipho, I know you might never
hear this or when you do, I'll be
dead. Or I'll just wake up one day
and be fed up with having a life
without you and then I force you
to listen to it. Anyways, I think
you'll never hear this."
I laughed, why couldnt he just
get to the point?
" I love you, I know I don't say it
alot. I didn't want it to end up
being just three words that you
hear on a daily, I needed you to
appreciate it each time I said
and for these three words to
always serve as a reminder of
what I feel for you. I love you
and now that you've left it grows
more each and everyday. I know
that I'm at fault because of
what I did. I'm sorry Nosipho.
One day you will understand. I'm
sitting here right now, about to
sign of my will. I'm signing over
everything I have to you. You
may not understand why I'm
doing this but please do not fight
it. Everything is yours. These
companies, I don't want you to
sell them nor let anyone else run
them. I leave everything in your
hands"
Me: Dude I failed matric
"I know you'll underestimate
yourself, I know you know nothing
about business and you failed
Matric but that all doesn't
matter to me. I believe in you and
I know you'll prove yourself
wrong. Menzi will help you with
everything you need to know
about my businesses. Those I'm
not worried about because you will
manage. What I want you to
focus on is the Diamond Cartel
business."
Me: This man must've been crazy.
"Gagashe will specially tell you the
ins and outs. You will need to know
all my enemies, everything that
goes on, from the shipments to
the sails. You will travel around
the world and make a legacy for
my child."
Me: Oh! It's his child now, this
man is making me crazy. I'll dig
up his grave and shoot him.
I turned it off and sighed. Make
a legacy for his child? The same
child he wanted nothing to do
with? He has the gut to even call
him his child. Kwanele must not
make me loose my senses. His
father already thinks I'm insane.
I walked around and looked at
some of the Diamonds neatly laid
down and covered with glass
frames. I turned on the recording
again so it can continue
"This is my gift to my child, when
he or she turns 25. I want it all
to be handed over to my child.
Teach him, groom him, if he or
she is blind they will never
struggle because you will train my
child just like how my father
trained me."
Me: How the hell will I do that?
Entlek wena Kwanele, you're
telling me to do things that I
cannot even do!!
Calm down
You're just shouting at a
recording. He can't respond.
Calm down
"My father will take you
somewhere, where you'll get all
the training you need so my child
will not struggle. This is my gift
to my child. I know you'll say its
bullshit. I know you just got
angry but what I just said. But
my presence isn't what I can give
the both of you. But what you
have to know is that I love the
both of you, best believe that.
Me: Now that is bullshit.
"Open the drawer on the left
bottom shelf. You'll find another
recording there. Listen to it very
carefully."
The recording ended and I did as
I was told. The second recording
played.
" I'm happy you're still taking
instructions. I need you to follow
these very carefully. Look for a
black box with a silver opening.
Inside you'll find a lock which will
you will open. I'm giving you two
minutes to do so, don't drop
anything Nosipho. Everything in
this office is worth millions."
Me: Fuck you
He went silent, I guess the two
minutes have started. I did as I
was told and I found a gun.
Me: I found a gun, what's next?
Argh! He won't respond. I forgot.
It felt so real like he was there
and I was talking to him. I wiped
my tears off as I realized I was
crying. The two minutes ended a
while ago.
"I gave you a little extra time,
who knows? You could've dropped
something. That gun will be your
personal gun, it was specially
made for you, use it carefully.
Whatever you do, it shouldn't
shoot anyone who annoys you or
me. I'm still suffering from the
wounds you made when you shot
me."
I laughed and the tears kept
coming. He told how to use it,
when to use and that it never
runs out of bullets, thats the
special thing about it. I taught
myself how to use it following his
instructions. In a way it felt like
he was here too. I loved listening
to his voice while he guided me.
Indeed he is my guardian angel.
"Now listen, I need you to open up
the wall behind that diamond
vase. The pin is your date of
birth. There is a key inside that
vase that opens up the secret
door, take it and open. Once you've
opened, I need you to take out all
the documents in there and all
those guns. There are also boxes
in there wheee you can put them
all in. When you're done packing. Go
downstairs to the underground
parking and put them in the black
truck."
Me: Did this guy forget that I'm
pregnant?
I did as he said. When am I going
to finish all this? I sighed and
started packing the documents.
When I was finished, they were
packed into three big boxes. I
stashed the guns in boxes and
large bags. This was just tiring,
where was Gagashe? He should
be helping me with all this but no,
he isn't. It's been hours since he
left. Getting these things to the
truck was just hard work. I sat
down and sighed, and played the
third recording. Is there food in
this place. A kitchen! Yes
I made food while I listened to
him explain why he joined this
business, how it operates and how
I need to handle it. He told me to
read all those documents and
gave me an address to where I'll
be taking these guns and
documents. So I'll have to drive a
truck? Wonders will never end I
see.
"What you have to do now is take
the last two recordings, go to the
white cupboard and take the
petrol and burn this place down.
Me: Are you crazy?
"Burn everything down. Do not
take anything with you besides
what I told you too. I repeat,
burn everything down."
I took the last two recordings
and took the bottles of paraffin
and poured it all over the place. I
set it alight and ranto the
underground parking. Drove the
truck out, went back in and burnt
it down too. My heart was painful
as I drove off. Millions and millions
have burnt down plus the two
cars in the parking, they'll all be
burnt down. I drove off to the
address I was given. It was
literally a two hour drive, I was
getting really exhausted. The
time was 5pm when I got to
where I was told to go. Thank
God for GPS, I would've been
really lost. There's just trees at
this place, what is this? I drove
in the paved drive and it lead me
a really beautiful house.
Me: What do we have here?
I parked and looked around.
There were keys in the front
door, I opened up and it was
similar to his sacred place but it
had a bit of a difference.
Me: Oh wow
So he put up a really big picture
of himself in here? I looked
around and there were pictures of
me too around the house and
there was a beautiful picture of
the both of us sleeping peacefully.
Who took this picture? I cried as
I looked at it. I played 4th
recording
"I assume you're at your sacred
house now. No one knows about
this place besides you and
Gagashe. Well and myself too.
You'll know whenever you need to
come here, you'll work here and
come here when you miss me.
Thank you for taking all my
instructions. I need you to do one
more thing for me, play the last
recording.
I first went to the bathroom, I
needed to pee. Did my business
and looked for a snack. I played
the last recording. It played a
song, Lamar_ Feels Right.
Me: Really Kwanele?
I laughed and danced around
while I put away the guns and
documents.
"I hope you loved the song.
Nosipho, I need you to go to the
drawer in office. Theres
something for you there. I went
to the office and opened the
drawer
Me: Kwanele
"I guess you must have seen
what's in there. Maybe by now I
wouldnt have had the guts to do
this nor do I even have the
chance to do this. I know it's
crazy, but the love I have for you
is crazy too. It has driven me to
doing the craziest things. I know
I hurt you, but believe me when
I say I love you."
I opened it up as I listened to
him expressing his feelings to me.
It was a beautiful simple
diamond ring.
"Nosipho, take care of yourself
and my child. I know you might be
confused, hurt and lost but let my
love for you keep you strong and
standing. I want you to marry me
Me: He isn't even asking me
properly, what happened to a sexy
Will you marry me?
"I know we're not together
anymore and I don't care. But I
want you to marry me and for you
to use my surname. If I am dead
by now, still, I want you to marry
me. Put it on at all times Nosipho.
I love you MaBlose."
I laughed while I was crying and
putting it on. It was a perfect
fit. This is crazy. This is really
crazy. The song played again and
I just looked at my ring. It all
just seemed like a dream.
"This was my last gift to you
sthandwa sam. Hold onto it until
we fix things. I can't wait to hold
you in my arms all night. If I'm
dead, I'm looking forward to
loving you all over again, in the
next life."
And then it ended.
Me: Thank you Kwanele. I love
you
I took the recordings and put
them away safely. I took out
some of the documents and read
through them. The documents I
had were off his enemies and
people in the same business as
his. When I was tired I went to
the garage.
Me: Shit!! You scared me
Gagashe: Language, theres a
baby here.
Me: What baby?
He looked at my stomach and I
looked at him, like really? I chose
not to answer and he took the car
keys.
Me: And where do you come from?
Gagashe: Sleep Nosipho
Me: No
Gagashe: Then don't speak
I laughed at him as he drove off.
I guess I fell asleep because I
woke up in his arms.
Gosh, This feels so awkward
Me: Put me down
Gagashe: Shut up and don't
overthink this
He laughed at me and put me on
the bed.
Gagashe: Here's some food, eat
and sleep. I'll pick you up in the
morning.
He left and I ate a little. I
wasn't really hungry, I took a
shower and got into bed naked. I
looked at my ring and laughed at
how I judged that girl for
agreeing to marry a dead man.
Here I am, I have a ring on, a
ring from a dead man.
No, our situations are different
I knew this man, I loved this
man
And I'll always love this man.
He is and forever will be in my
heart.

Insert 41
Ouch!
I forgot I have a ring on. I have
this habit of rubbing my hands all
over my face when I wake up and
now I've hurt myself. Kwanele
got me used to doing this, I laid
on the bed and stared at my ring.
My phone rang and it was
Gagashe, I ignored it.
It rang again and I ignored it.
It's too early in the morning for
him to get me working already.
Kwanele would've let me do things
in my own pace. But this isn't
Kwanele. I did my morning routine
and went downstairs to have
some breakfast.
Me: Aaaah!!!!! Don't do that!!
He laughed at me, he looked so
different today. He was wearing
smart casual. He's always in suits
and looking formal. Today he looks,
good.
Gagashe: I didn't think I'd scare
you like that. Anyways, you've
been ignoring my calls so it's great
punishment.
He looked at me.
My thighs
Shit, I'm in shorts and a baggy t-
shirt. I thought I was alone...
Me: Uhm, I'll make breakfast
soon.
I quickly went upstairs and put a
pair of jeans on. I went back
downstairs and made breakfast
while he was watching tv having
beer.
Okay.
I'm not used to this Gagashe,
he's usually stuck in suits, and
being stuck and barking commands
all the time. Now he is in chino
pants, tight slim fit black long
sleeve t-shirt and sneakers. This
is different.
Me: Gagashe before we go
anywhere or you slave me around
all day, I need to go to the
doctor.
Gagashe: What for?
Me: Baby check up
He nodded and got on his phone. I
finished up and dished up for him
then went to give him.
Gagashe: Thank you. The doctor
will be here in 30mins
Me: Oh
So he just called the doctor to
come here? That was really
unnecessary but who am I to tell
Gagashe what to do, when to do
it and how to do it? We ate in
silence while watching tv.
Gagashe: Thank you, that was
really good. You should've been a
professional chef, it suits you.
Me: Thank you. One day I will be,
but for now. I have alot on my
plate.
Gagashe: You've put yourself
aside and decided to keep and build
my sons empire, that's a great
thing.
Me: I didn't really have a choice
but I have to do this not only for
Kwanele but for my child too.
He looked at me for a while and
nodded. When he stood up, his t-
shirt went up a bit.
Me: Gagashe, you have a tatt.
Gagashe: Tatt?
Me: Tattoo
Gagashe: Oh yes, I was once
young too. Plus, I'm not that old
too.
He laughed and went to the
kitchen. He is well built, he seems
like he visits the gym very often.
He came back with a glass of
water for me and beer for
himself.
Me: I'd like to have some juice
please
Gagashe: Water is healthy for
you and the baby.
Me: I don't really like water
anymore, if I have water I want
to pour it myself or buy it myself.
Gagashe: Because of what
Kwanele did? You're traumatized,
well I didn't put anything in here.
I'll get you your juice Mrs Zondi.
I laughed at him and indeed he
brought my juice. We sat down and
watched tv well I was the only
one who was watching while he
was on his phone. There was a
knock on the door
Gagashe: I'll get it.
He came in followed by the doctor.
I stood up and we greeted each
other. He introduced himself as
Dr Zibulu. He had brought in his
equipment and he set it up.
DrZ: Take off your t-shirt please
and lay down.
Gagashe: Why should she take it
off when she can just pull it up?
DrZ: Pull it up please.
I pulled the t-shirt up and laid
down. He came close and wanted
to unbutton and unzip my jeans,
but Gagashe stopped him and did
it himself. Why is he being so
fussy? I lowered my jeans, I was
so uncomfortable, a little bit of
my underwear was showing, mind
you, it was lace so you know what
else was starting to show and
Gagashe was right next to me.
The doctor put the gel and
started scanning. The baby's
heartbeat was so loud
DrZ: You have a healthy baby,
look at that.
He showed me the babys body
parts and I remembered what
Kwaneles granny had said.
Me: Is there one baby?
DrZ: Yes Mam, you wanted twins?
Me: No, I was just asking. When
will I get to know the gender?
DrZ: Next month you'll definitely
know. You need to take these two
times a day, and these three
times a day.
Me: Thank you
He took out wipes and came close
to me
Gagashe: What are you doing?
DrZ: Wiping her
Gagashe took the wipe and wiped
me. It felt so weird. He wiped me
slowly and he was very attentive.
Me: Thank you.
DrZ cleared his throat and looked
at us.
DrZ: I'll see you next month.
I nodded and got off the bed and
fixed myself. The doctor packed up
his equipment and he left with
Gagashe. I sat down and
watched tv
Gagashe: Get your bag, we're
leaving.
I nodded and took my purse. I
walked behind him.
Me: Is that your ride?
Gagashe: Yes
Me: Wow. I like it.
It was an R8. He threw the keys
and I looked at him. Are you
serious? I didn't waste any time
and I drove off.
Me: Where are we going?
Gagashe: My house, It's on the
GPS.
I like this Gagashe, he's chilled. I
drove off and we got to his house.
Me: Wow
He has a beautiful big house.
Me: How many houses do you
have?
Gagashe: Too many to count
Me: Oh wow
Gagashe: I'm looking, I have
6houses.
Me: That's alot.
I really think he let me drive
because it was a short drive from
Kwaneles to his place. I followed
him as he went into the garage
and punched in a pin. I was
shocked and I held on tightly to
him. The floor just moved and
went down to an underground
house, he didn't say he what was
going to happen.
Me: Sorry
The stare he was giving me was
very freaky. I moved from him
and put my hands in my pocket.
It was really dark and I was
scared.
Gagashe: You can hold onto me
I didn't waste any time. I held
his arm and he laughed. We
walked down the dark aisle. We
reached the end of the path and
he switched the lights on.
Me: Thank God, I was beginning
to really freak out. What is this
place? It looks horrible.
Gagashe: It's just not cleaned up.
In here, there's more documents
about the business you're about
to run and the people you'll be
dealing with. I'll carry these and
you take this.
He took three cardboards and he
gave me one file. We went back, it
wasn't dark anymore and he
switched the light's off at the
end of the aisle. We finally went
inside the house and it was as
beautiful as it was in the outside.
We sat down and I started going
through the papers.
Me: Why did Kwanele join this
business? I mean he comes from
a rich family, he didn't need any
money.
Gagashe: Its not about the
money.
Me: Then what is it about?
Gagashe: The adrenaline. We're
born with this fire, that craves
for danger. I remember when my
father told me about this
business, it felt so right. It felt
like this is where I belong, at
that time it wasn't as big. I
made it bigger and better, there
were times where MaMzobe said
she was going to leave me
because this business was driving
me crazy and its all that I do.
Me: Did she leave?
Gagashe: I told her to leave. I
couldn't juggle both lives, I had
to choose.
Me: And you chose the business?
Gagashe: Yes
Me: That's selfish
Gagashe: I knew she would wait
for me. She knew she had to
accept me as I am. And I came
as with a package, it was me and
the business and that was it.
Kwanele was lucky to have
someone like you, you just accepted
him as he is and his business.
Why?
Me: I don't know, I guess I
didn't mind what he did. He had
his reasons and I wouldnt just
come into his life and expect him
to change and do what I want
him to do. Plus, I didn't get to
experience him being absent in my
life and times where I felt like he
chose the business over me. Had
it come to that maybe we
would've had problems.
Gagashe: I understand.
Me: This business, will I loose my
life because of it?
Gagashe: I doubt, you're
protected more than you think
you are.
Me: This business killed Kwanele.
Gagashe: It won't kill you.
Kwanele was just in the wrong
place at a wrong time. You won't
be very much involved physically in
the business until the baby is
born.
Me: I understand. In the
recording, Kwanele talked about
me going to train so I can be able
to train my child if he or she is
blind.
Gagashe: I'll take care of that.
You'll go soon, before that baby
bump gets heavy.
I rolled my eyes
Shit.
I was getting too comfortable.
He looked at me and smirked.
He's handsome
Stop it Nosipho!
Gagashe: You have guts, I like
that about you. Zondi men have a
thing for strong woman, I get
why Kwanele loved you so much.
I laughed and continued reading.
He focused on his work silently as
I learnt about different kinds of
diamonds and their worth and
what they do. I spent hours
reading and eating. There seemed
to be so much to learn about this
business and I wondered if I could
do it. Seemed like Gagashe was
going to be around more to
mentor me and I appreciated his
help. When there was something
confusing me I asked him to help
and he explained everything
thoroughly to me. The day passed
by without us even noticing what
time it is. We continued working
till it was around 7pm
Gagashe: It's getting late, you
need to rest.
Me: I do but can we pass by KFC?
I want some dunked wings.
Gagashe: Cravings already?
Me: I guess so.
We packed up and I gave him his
car keys. I was too tired to drive.
He opened the door for me and I
thanked him. I got in and closed
my eyes, I didn't realize I was
this tired.
Gagashe: Wake up Nosipho
Me: We're home already?
Gagashe: Yes and I got your food.
Well I bought more than you
wanted just incase you get hungry
when I'm gone.
Me: You're staying for supper?
Gagashe: I'd love to.
We went inside and went straight
to the kitchen. I took out plates
and dished up for the both of us.
He even bought burgers, so cool.
We sat down on the kitchen
counter while we ate in silence.
Gagashe: This is lovely, I don't
usually enjoy takeouts but I like
this
Me: Thank you, well takeouts
aren't healthy but they're the
best.
We continued talking and we got
along very well.
Me: Let me take advantage, lets
have some ice cream.
He laughed at me and told me to
bring it. He told me its been years
since he had ice cream.
Gagashe: You making me feel
young again.
Me: Is that a bad or good thing?
Gagashe: A bit of both. I can't
always be stuck up and old but I
also cant be young and vibey at all
times, I have an image to keep
up with. I didn't really get to be
young and enjoy my youth, I had
to work. I had to work more
when MaMzobe was pregnant, we
had our first child when I was
20.
Me: That means you're 55
He nodded
Gagashe: I'm old but not that
old.
Me: You're old but you don't look
that old. You're actually handsome
for a 55 year old.
Shit. What did I just say!
He smiled and I felt so awkward.
Why did I say that? Anyways, he
thanked me and continued talking.
He really didn't eat his ice cream.
I took it and he went to wash
the dishes, I stopped him but he
insisted. I was standing next to
him finishing up his ice cream.
Me: I'm done, thank you.
He took the bowl and washed it.
Gagashe: Nosipho, you have
something here.
He pointed on my upper lip and
cheek. I nodded and wiped it off.
Gagashe: It's still there, let me
help you. He came close to me and
I held onto the kitchen counter.
He wiped it off slowly while
looking deep into my eyes making
my entire body shiver. What was
happening here? Can he break
the eye contact and leave?
He held my hand and came closer
Stop him Nosipho!
No this isn't happening
He held my cheek and wiped it too.
He lifted my face up
He's tall.
He looked down staring at my
shivering lips.
Don't do this.
He's lips touched mine
They're so soft
Nosipho snap out of it!
He kissed me and I froze for a
while. He kissed me again and I
kissed him back. He held me and
picked me up placing me on the
kitchen counter.
We kissed for a while and I
thought of MaMzobe, I thought
of Kwanele.
These are the same kitchen
counters Kwanele and I did our
shit on.
No!
I pushed him off and slapped him.
Gagashe: Nosipho
He had vains all over his face. He
looked angry but he shouldn't be.
I walked to the door
Me: You need to leave
Gagashe: We need to talk
Me: Leave Gagashe, please.
He looked at me for a very long
time. I was really shaking and
feeling uncomfortable. He took his
keys and left.
What just happened!
I thought about it as I leaned on
the door. I quickly locked and
went upstairs, took a shower and
went in bed.
What did I just do?
What did we just do?
Insert 42
I didn't want to wake up. Can't
God just take me? Can't he just
take me to Kwanele and let me
bury myself in his arms and cry all
day and night?
What happened yesterday is
something I'll never ever forgive
myself for. It's something I'm
ashamed of and something that
will disgust me for the rest of my
life. How will I even look at
Gagashe? More especially,
MaMzobe. That woman has been
nothing but kind to me. She
treats me like her own daughter
and then I do this to her?
How will I face Menzi, Thando,
Funeka and Kwenzo? This is their
father, they are my friends and
my fiance's siblings. What I did
would just tare the entire family
apart. I have to leave this place
before any more damage is
caused. I need to go back to
Langelihle. I did my morning
routine then went downstairs for
breakfast. After having
breakfast I went back upstairs
and packed my clothes.
"Running away already?"
Shit! He scared me. He has a
tendency of doing that alot lately
Me: It's for the best.
Gagashe: What happened
yesterday was a mistake that
should never ever happen again.
It was my moment of weakness,
I don't blame you for it and it
was entirely my fault. I am sorry
Nosipho
Me: I am sorry too. I shouldn't
have let you do what you did. Plus
I kissed you back, I shouldn't
have done it. I'm sorry.
He nodded and helped me pack.
This was too awkward, he
should've nodded and left.
Gagashe: You're young enough to
be my daughter. I won't lie
Nosipho, I've been attracted to
you from the day I met you. You
have this fire in you which I
really like in a woman. You have
that loving and care free spirit
which is very attractive but I
love and respect my wife, I
wouldnt want to hurt her.
Yesterday was the first time I
cheated on her since I don't know,
maybe 15years ago. You were
involved with my son, and you're
pregnant with my grandchild, this
all just complicates things. If you
weren't pregnant I'd marry you
Me: Gagashe, what happened
was a mistake and don't even
think of marriage and being
attracted to me. I love your son
and no one else. You're old enough
to be my father, you're older than
my parents. I respect you and
your wife and your kids. Whatever
attractions you feel towards me,
keep them to yourself or get rid
of them. I'm going back to
Langelihle and I will work from
there, I don't want to be around
you and whenever we see each
other under any circumstance we
will be civil with each other and
be normal. We'll forget about this
and pretend it has never even
happened.
Gagashe: Agreed.
He gave me his hand and we
shook hands.
Me: Beer?
Gagashe: Do I look like I drink
beer?
I laughed at him and went to get
myself some juice and I gave him
beer. He took it and left.
Me: Thank God
"For what?"
I turned and it was Menzi.
Me: Hi
Menzi: You're good?
Me: I'm good and yourself?
Menzi: I'm good. So why was
Gagashe here?
Me: He's been helping me learn
about the business...
Menzi: The business huh?
Nosipho, I hate lies.
I looked at him and finished up
with my packing.
Me: Do you want some juice or
beer?
Menzi: I want answers, I know
what happened between you and
Gagashe.
Me: What more answers do you
need? Angithi you know
everything that goes on this
house? You saw and heard
everything what more do I need
to explain Menzi?
Menzi: You are my brothers wife!
Me: I know but your brother and
I aren't really married. What
happened was a mistake which
will never ever happen again. I
love MaMzobe and I see her as
my own mother, I will not
disrespect her that way. I
respect you and your siblings, I
am sorry for what happened
Menzi. It just happened and
there's no way of explaining it. You
have every right to be mad and
all but this, this stays between
us and that's it.
He let out a cocky laugh.
Me: Don't you dare tell anyone else
about this.
Menzi: Or what?
Me: You'll destroy your own family.
Menzi: It will be your fault
Me: Mine alone? You know what,
go ahead and do whatever you
want to do. Tell them, I take full
responsibility of my actions. Close
the door on your way out.
Menzi: You kicking me out in my
brothers house?
Me: Close the door on your way
out Menzi, that is all I said and I
will say no more.
Menzi: I'm not leaving
Me: Suit yourself
Menzi: And don't you dare try to
shoot me, I'm not Kwanele
I laughed at him and took my
bags. I pulled my suitcase while
he was following me.
Menzi: Where are you going to?
Me: Langelihle
Menzi: Running away from your
mess?
Me: I didn't tell your father to be
attracted to me plus, if you do
damage by telling them I'll be
back to face the heat. I'm not a
coward, that, you should know by
now.
He carried another one of my bags
and put it in his car
Me: What are you doing?
Menzi: I won't let you drive all
the way to Langelihle. Let's go
Me: I'll drive, I don't need your
help
Menzi: I didn't say you need my
help. Just come and stop being
stubborn. I don't want you to fall
asleep along the way and cause an
accident. I still want to meet my
niece or nephew.
Me: Whatever
I went in his car and he continued
packing my stuff in his boot. He
drove off in silence. I don't know
whether this guy was angry at
me or what but whatever he
feels, he has every right.
Menzi: If my brother was alive,
Gagashe would be dead by now.
Me: Kwanele wouldnt kill his
father. Especially because of me
Menzi: I guess you didn't
understand how deep his love for
you was. He used to say "Menzi, I
know Nosipho doesn't know how
much I love her. She can't see it
in my eyes. Plus I cannot express
it alot using my actions. I don't
know how I'll ever show her that
I love her and she should never
doubt it." Those were his words.
Now if he would hear about what
happened with Gagashe and you,
he would kill Gagashe.
Me: He would kill me too
Menzi: Never.
Me: Just a little more time was
all we needed.
Menzi: We don't always get what
we want. Things don't always go
our way Nosipho. There's a
shipment you will need to handle,
it will come on Tuesday
Me: That's tomorrow Menzi
Menzi: Tomorrow at 11pm, Lwazi
will be with you. Theres nothing
to worry yourself about, taking in
a shipment is the easiet thing to
do. Unless there's people who are
looking at it and want to steal it,
you may come across that little
problem. Remember those boys
who kidnapped you? Their family
always want to attack. It's not a
big shipment so I doubt you'll
have much of a problem.
Me: So there are problems in big
shipments?
Menzi: Alot. Wanna grab some
food?
Me: Yes please.
We went to MacD's drive through
and got some food. Along the way
he briefed me about what
happens in small shipments and
big shipments. They have big
shipments only 8times a year
which makes them about R30
billion which they pay their
agents (employees) and fairly
distribute it amongst themselves.
He then told me what the agents
are for. Basically I don't do any
work. I'm just there to supervise
and make sure we make money.
Me: Do you ever make a loss?
Menzi: We do, Kwanele used to flip
when that happens. I remember
when he shot 12 agents because
they lost a package worth
15million.
Me: He killed them all?
Menzi: Well 8died so sort of.
I cringed.
Kwanele did have a monstrous
side to him
Menzi: And don't ask me how he
shot these people when he
couldn't see. He was specially
trained.
I nodded and ate my food. The
drive to Langelihle was a good
one, he was good company along
the way and I guess he was over
what happened with me and
Gagashe. I wonder if he will
confront his father or not but I
highly doubt that he would do it.
One thing I know is that they
never stand up to Gagashe, they
fear him.
Me: Thank you for driving me here
Menzi: You're welcome.
He said as he took my bags to
the house. Funeka opened the
door and they were all here
Me: Party in Langelihle without
me?
They screamed and hugged me.
Simi: You missed out on so much
Me: It's just been two days.
Buhle: Alot has happened, what
you need to know is that we have
a wedding to plan
I screamed and we went inside
the house.
Menzi: Ladies I'll love and leave
you. I'll call you later my love.
He kissed Buhle and left.
Me: Start talking
Funeka: Well as you know Ntethe
and I have been engaged for a
while without planning anything
for a wedding whatsoever
because he was still waiting for
my father to approve and give
him his blessings. Dad finally
agreed and the lobola negotiations
will take place this weekend.
Me: Oh my gosh!!! Really! I'm so
happy for you, Thank you
Funeka: I'm so shocked, he was so
happy yesterday and he was just
different. I haven't seen him
that way in a while, he even gave
Ntethe his blessings. Whatever it
is that makes him happy, should
stay in his life.
Buhle: Maybe MaMzobe gave it
to him real good! All night long
Funeka: Sies thats my mother
man Buhle.
Buhle: What he is a hunk, he still
gets it.
Simi: But Emihles father!! Damn
he would make my knees shake
and I would squirt all over the
place!
Emihle: Simi man, I'm right here
remember.
Simi: Oh honey I know. He is a
damn handsome man, I get horny
by just looking at him
Me: Okay, too much info. Too
much info.
She was right though, The King
is a very fine man.
Simi: Too bad he's head over heels
inlove with his wife.
Emihle: That man loves my
mother, it's even annoying at
times. They are so attached to
one another, they're what you call
soulmates. I grew up around
couples, my mothers friends
married my father's friends. They
were just friends who married
friends. All my life, as much as I
grew up around danger and guns,
I grew up around so much love.
One day you'll meet them all and
you'll see what I'm talking about.
From Daddy Luba with Belinda to
Daddy KJ and Sbahle. They just
have love and nothing else. Thats
why I want love for myself too,
true love, unconditional love. I'm a
sucker for love
Khetho: I don't know, I'm okay
with just being me for now. Love
hasn't shown me love. Just when
I'm head over heels inlove,
something bad happens so I'm
okay.
Simi: Talk about true love which
was right infront of us. Kwanele
and Nosipho, gosh now that was
true love.
Ntombi: Tell me about it. I used
to think about it all the time,
how can one love someone who is
blind? I mean Kwanele is rich,
handsome and all but I honestly
wouldn't be able to date a blind
man. I would always be pitying
him, I don't know but I just
wouldnt be able to do it.
Simi: I had something with
Kwanele but it wasn't what they
had. It was different, it was
love.
Buhle: I loved it when you knew
that Kwanele can't see Nosipho
but you see him looking at her
direction. I'd know that deep
down, he is staring at the love of
his life.
Me: I only thought I was the
only one who felt that way. Trust
me it made me feel as if I was
crazy. He is blind, but he looks at
me like I'm the only girl in the
world. When he touched me, he
made me feel goosebumps all over
my body. He was gentle with me,
he caressed my body and took care
of it. He's love was passionate
and so soothing. I don't even
remember us having a huge fight
whatsoever. He took care of my
heart and everything I needed.
We ended our relationship in a bad
state but hey, that man gave me
the best experiences of my life
Funeka: How was the sex? I once
saw my brothers dick, by accident
and it was big. Did it all fit?
Me: Funeka!!
We all laughed and they were
staring at me waiting for an
answer.
Me: Do you really want me to
answer that?
Them: Yes!
Me: It was heaven.
And they looked at me. They
wanted me to continue and give
full details.
Khetho: You're done?
Me: The word Heaven explains it
all. Its like heaven on earth. He
makes me feel complete, hitting
every corner. He gave me more
than the act of pleasure. He
showed me the ability to feel so
close to him, so connected to him.
So comfortable with him that it
was almost breathtaking to the
point where I felt like I can't
take it anymore and at that
moment, I knew I was a part of
him. He made me apart of him.
They say people people will forget
what you said. People will forget
what you did. But people will
never forget how you made them
feel. Now that's Kwanele, I will
never forget how he made me
feel.
Ntombi: This is so romantic. You
have a ring on your finger?
Me: It's from Kwanele
Khetho: I'm confused, explain.
Me: Well apparently he was going
to propose to me, God knows
when. Then he died before being
able to do it. He made some
recordings which directed me to
the ring.
Buhle: This is so romantic!
Simi: I'm even crying
Emihle: And someone who is also
head over heels inlove is Miss
Ntombi
She smiled and covered herself
with a pillow.
Me: Wait wait, let me get a snack.
This needs my full attention.
Everyone got their own snack and
we sat down and listened to
Ntombi
Me: First of all, how did you even
date? I mean you never told us
anything at all.
Ntombi: I was confused at first
I mean I've never dated any
woman before, it was strange as
to why I felt attracted to a
woman. I've always loved men and
thats what you guys knew. I was
scared that you might judge me
and I wanted to test the waters
before I could even tell you.
Remember when we met her? Well
it stated that day, she called me
late at night I think it was
around 11pm. She told me she
wants to meet up with me for
lunch and she's going to send me
the address. I agreed cause I
thought she just wants friends
since she came back from
overseas and stuff. The next day,
she picked me up at school, I
wondered how she knew where I
attended and what time my last
lecture would be. When I asked
her how she knew so much about
me she just laughed. I questioned
her sexuality when I saw how she
dresses and I asked her she told
me she's lesbian and she wants
me. Now thats when I started
getting scared, at first I was
upset. I don't even know why I
was upset. Thando wasted no
time, she told me clearly how she
felt about me and that she would
give me time to think about it
and she won't mind even if I said
no. I downright said then and
there and she was cool. The
problem started when I couldnt
stop thinking about her. I was
frustrated, it got worse when
she kissed me. I lost it
Me: Woah, come back, don't rush.
When did she kiss you? What
happened? We need the full
details
Ntombi can't tell a story, she just
summarises when we want the
actual whole story in full detail.
Ntombi: We bumped into each
other at BP garage. I don't
know, it felt so planned. I think
she just knew I was going to be
there and she came. She offered
me a lift, since I didn't want to
be rude I took the offer. Little
did I know she wasn't even
taking me home, she took me to
her house. We chilled and ate just
watching tv and she mentioned
nothing about us or any
relationship. When I wanted to
leave, she kissed me. I pulled
away, slapped her and she
laughed. That frustrated me
more. That day she said " Wena
ungowami" then that was how I
ended up at her door step after
two weeks of constantly thinking
about her. When she opened the
door, I literally threw myself at
her and I threw my heart along
with me and she caught it. She's
been keeping it safe and loved
ever since. The end
We all screamed and said cute
comments. We were just
fascinated by their relationship,
Emihle was even crying we
laughed at her and continued
talking about relationships.
Emihle: I'm a virgin
Buhle: I'm not shocked
Khetho: Me too
Emihle: And its all because of my
father. I love my dad alot but I
also feel like I missed out on a lot
because of him and his
overprotectiveness.
Simi: Plus you're a princess, I'm
sure you have to save yourself for
some Prince that will marry you
Emihle: I don't want to get
married into Royalty, I just want
a normal family. Plus I'm not
really of royal blood.
Me: Your mom isn't royal?
Emihle: No, but she was chosen
for my father. Plus The King isn't
my biological father so yep. I
don't even know what having a
serious boyfriend is like. Maybe I'll
just be a dummy when I actually
get into a relationship.
Simi: You still have to go through
your first heartbreak.
Heartbreaks are just the worst
Khetho: Relationships are a
blessing and a curse.
Buhle's phone rang and she smiled
and left. I guess Menzi just
called.
Emihle: We're not cooking tonight,
I'll ask for some food to be
brought to us from the palace.
Ntombi: Perks of having a
princess as a friend. You do that
boo
Me: And I'll be going to the
bathroom
I went there and did my business.
My phone rang
"Nosipho speaking, hello."- I
answered
"Come by the gate, I'm parked
there in a black SUV.." he said, I
just knew this voice. It's
Gagashe
"No, and why are you here?"- I
was getting angry. Why is he
here? He's just making this more
complicated.
"If you don't come here, I'll get in
that house and say everything
infront of your friends."- he said
"I'm coming." I replied and ended
the call.
Me: I'm going outside for a bit.
One of my clients is here, I need
to get used to this thing of
having clients and meetings.
They laughed at me and I went
out. I got into the car.
Me: You do know your daughter is
in there and she could see you
Gagashe: No one knows this car,
it's new. How are you?
Me: I didn't come here for small
talks, what do you want?
Gagashe: You
Me: Stop being crazy. Menzi
already knows
Gagashe: I know
Me: He confronted you?
Gagashe: No
Me: Then how do you know?
Gagashe: I have my ways and
I've dealt with him. Marry me
Me: Are you insane? You called me
here for shit. Listen to me
carefully Ndodayesizwe, I love
Kwanele and you love MaMzobe.
You and I will not be in any kind of
relationship and no, I will not
marry you. Take those feelings
and get rid of them. I do not
want to repeat myself, the next
time you tell me such nonsense I
will report you, MaMzobe will
know about this and I will not
hesitate, I will shoot you and I
hope those bullets kill you.
Gagashe: I'm sorry.
Me: Now leave.
He nodded and I got out the car
and he drove off.
Me: Stupid man.
I went back inside the house, so
damn pissed off.
Simi: You okay?
Me: Yes, this seems harder than
I thought but I'll be fine. One
day at a time
Funeka: Don't worry, my brother
knew what he was doing when he
left you incharge. Plus Gagashe is
there to help if you need any
assistance
Me: Yeah, and where is Buhle?
Still glued to the phone?
Khetho: Yes she is. Menzi is
tickling her through the phone,
she's been laughing non stop.
Its amazing how she just moved
on and accepted that Menzi is
with Buhle. I guess everything
just fell into place. I got a text
from Gagashe telling me that he
is going to Cuba. Why is he telling
me that? I deleted the message
and focused on the conversation I
was having with my friends. I've
missed them and I know I won't
be getting into stupid messes
with them around me

Insert 43
It's been a month
One long and exhausting month. I
haven't heard from Gagashe nor
have I ever heard from Menzi.
The only people I work closely
with is Vusi and Lwazi. The rest
have just been awol.
Work, has been hectic. I for one
never thought I'd work this hard
in my life. I haven't been doing
anything physically straining but
the workload is exhausting. My
stomach is big, in a way that it
shouldn't be. Its too big for just
a woman who is only 4months
pregnant.
Thando: I don't think you'll need
these, do you think so?
Me: I don't even know where I'm
going Thando so I don't know if
I'll need those shoes or not.
Lwazi just said I should pack
comfortable things only.
Thando: How long will you be
away?
Me: I don't know, maybe a month.
She nodded and continued packing
for me. I was leaving, off to this
training I have to do just incase
my child is blind. I need to know
how to teach him or her to do
things on her own just like his or
her father. Honestly I'm scared,
I don't know what to expect or
what will even happen. I dont
even know where I'm going but
then I will go so I can give my
child a better life. I have only
started now thinking about the
possibility of my child being born
blind. I've never raised a baby
before, it will be my first time abd
the first time I'll have to raise a
blind child. I wonder if I'll be able
to do it. I wonder how the
experience will be like. How will I
explain to my child that you were
born with blindness? Will he or she
even know what blindness is? My
child will just have dark eyes living
in the darkness and not being able
to see anything. My child won't
even be able to see me. My child
will never even get to know my
face, I feel so hurt and it might
be worse on him or her. Now I
understand how Kwanele felt.
Now I have a sense of
understanding the reason why he
was so convinced that he doesnt
want a child. I can already feel
my child's pain. His or her
childhood will not be the same as
I had. I got to see everything
and my child won't. It hurts
Its scary
But it's reality.
Thando: Stop overthinking, look
at the brighter side of things
Me: And which is the brighter
side Thando?
Thando: There's a possibility that
the baby won't be blind. Just look
at that perspective
Me: I'll try. It's not really easy
though since I know there's a
less chance.
When she was done she packed
them in the car boot and made
breakfast for me
Me: Ntombi is so spoilt, I can see
by the way you're taking care of
me.
Thando: I have to spoil her, she's
my baby. But I won't spoil her
alot, she'll get lazy. She must
know her way around the house. I
won't always be around
Me: You still going back to
America?
Thando: Yes
Me: Does she know?
Thando: I don't know how to tell
her.
Me: When are you leaving?
Thando: Next two weeks
Me: Thando!!
Thando: Everything is so perfect
now, I don't want to hurt her.
Plus I know we'll argue, when we
argue she doesnt talk to me at
all. She will definitely not talk to
me till I leave and I don't want
that.
Me: It will be worse if you don't
tell her
Thando: I'm thinking of asking
her to come with me.
Me: Wow oh okay, how long will you
be gone for?
Thando: Two months
Me: Heheh weThando uyazizwa
ukuth uthini?(Thando, are you
listening to yourself?) Do you
think Ntombi will leave with you
and go to the US for two
months?
Thando: I don't know
Me: Well good luck, really I wish
you the best of luck. I guess we'll
all be awol for a while.
Thando: Don't you dare give birth
to that baby without me next to
you.
Me: It's not like you'll be gone for
the rest of the of the 5months
left. So when I give birth, you'll
be right next to me.
Thando: Okay, we're done. Let's
go, durban is far from here.
Me: Who will be there?
Thando: I think my parents. I
heard Gagashe came back
yesterday
Me: So that's why you're dressed
like this
She laughed and nodded. She was
wearing a long summer dress and
sandals. I don't know how I feel
about seeing Gagashe after all
this while. Anyways I don't care
what he does but I'm not focused
on him. I'm focused on my journey
and not him. We're almost coming
towards the end of the year, I
need to get my things together
and once I finish with this
training I will focus on my life and
my child.
Thando: Let's hit the road
Really? Hit the road, when last
did I hear that? She drove off
and played some good Summer
Walker music. We sang along and I
got a video call from Ntombi
"Ngizwa kuthiwa uthathe
umuntu wami"- She said
"Yes I took your babe. And she's
going to be my bae for the day"-
I replied whule laughing at her.
She made an angry facial
expression
"Hi babe"- Thando greeted with a
changed sexy voice. I looked at
her and smirked
"So the voice changes when we
talk to Ntombi. Wow."
They talked for a very long time.
I guess Ntombi wasn't really
calling me but she was calling
Thando.
"Okay I'm so over this. I don't
like holding candles. Goodbye
Ntombi you're disturbing my date
with Thando."
She laughed and told me to back
off. They said their goofy
goodbyes and the video call ended.
They are so inlove and I'm happy
for them. After a few hours we
arrived KwaMashu. MaMzobe
was waiting at the gate for us.
MaMzobe: My daughters! Well one
daughter and daughter/son.
Thando: Really now mom?
They laughed and hugged each
other. So she knows?
Okay.
She hugged me and rubbed my
tummy.
Me: Say hi Gogo
MaMzobe: I'm too young to be
called a Gogo.
She laughed and we went inside
the house. She seemed to be
warm with me, I guess she
doesnt know. Or I'm just being
being paranoid. Gagashe was
sitting at the lounge, he looked
me then continued watching tv.
Me: Sawbona Gagashe.
He nodded
Okay.
Thando: Sawbona Gagashe
He nodded
Okay
Thando looked at me and
shrugged. She went to put my
bags in my house well it was
Kwanele's house but anyways, it
belongs to me now.
MaMzobe: Can we talk? In
private
Me: Okay Ma
Tematete Nosipho!
You're in trouble.
I put up a brave face and
followed her to her room. She
suddenly just turned pale, if I've
never said it before than here it
is, she' has really light complexion,
if you didn't know her you'd think
she's a white person. She sat on
the bed and I sat on the chair
next to her window.
MaMzobe: How's the baby?
Me: Growing really fast, I'll find
out about the gender today. The
doctor is coming
She nodded and remained silent.
This was awkward...
I bit my fingernails and looked
outside.
MaMzobe: Gagashe wants to
take you as his second wife.
Is Gagashe insane?
To think he even told MaMzobe
about this? She's a better
woman than I am, I would've
killed the woman my man wants
to marry a long time ago.
Nosipho
Why has killing become such an
easy thing you can think of or
even do?
Stop.
Me: Mah, I don't think I heard
you correctly
MaMzobe.
MaMzobe: I said, My husband
wants to take you as his second
wife.
Me: He must be crazy Mah, that
won't happen.
MaMzobe: He told me he loves you
Me: And it gets worse. Mah, I'm
your sons fiance. Look at this ring,
he may be dead but I'd like to
still respect his wishes. Gagashe
crossed the line once and it will
never happen again.
MaMzobe: What do you mean he
crossed the line once?
Me: We kissed once
I don't know when she got off
from the bed but the slap I got.
My cheek was burning. Here I am
getting getting punished for a sin
that happened a while ago. But I
was wrong so I have to take
responsibility of my actions.
MaMzobe: I'm sorry, I just lost
it.
Me: I'm sorry too. You're pretty
fast
She laughed and went back to her
bed. My cheek was still burning
Me: I need some ice
MaMzobe: I'll go get it for you,
sister wife.
Me: Please stop, Thats just
nonsense. Please tell me you didn't
agree to this?
MaMzobe: I haven't said
anything yet but I know I have
no choice.
Me: You do have a choice. And you
know that too.
She laughed and went to get
some ice. When she came back, she
came back with Gagashe
following her.
Gagashe: It's good to see my
wives together
Me: Nonsene
MaMzobe: That won't happen.
Nosipho is my daughter in law and
that's it. She will never be my
sister wife
Gagashe: Both of you have no
choice. You have to understand
that
Me: Maye
This man is insane. He really needs
to do a mental test. I put the
ace on my cheek and he looked at
me
Gagashe: What happened to your
face?
Us: Nothing
He looked at me first then looked
at MaMzobe. She smiled and
shook his head.
Me: I'm not going to marry you
MaMzobe: And if you want to
marry her, I'll leave you.
Gagashe: No you won't.
MaMzobe: Watch me.
Gagashe: MaMzobe!!
She walked away and he followed
screaming she cannot leave him.
He was going crazy and I followed
them. Thando walked in and I
grabbed her out. She cannot find
out about this.
Me: I want some food, I'm
literally craving for some prawns
from Ocean basket at pavilion
Thando: Why exactly pavilion?
Me: They make the best. I
prefer them now go please
Thando: You're lucky you're
pregnant and cousins with my love
otherwise, I wouldnt be doing
this at all.
I had to get her out of here. She
took the car keys and left.
Thank God
I went back into the house and
Gagashe was still arguing with
MaMzobe.
This is a mess
Gagashe: You cannot leave me
MaMzobe! You cannot!
MaMzobe: I am leaving. You
cannot embarrass me that way, I
love you Gagashe but I will not
be disrespected by you. Nosipho is
like my daughter, she's pregnant
with your grandchild and you want
to marry her? That is shit and I
will not put up with your shit.
Gagashe: You don't get to talk to
me that way
MaMzobe: You seem to forget
that you're not God. Just because
we highly respect you doesn't
mean you're above us. I can call
you whatever I want to. And I
can say you're a damn asshole!
Gagashe lifted his hand and I
ran to stop him.
Me: Stop!!
MaMzobe: You want to hit me!!
You want to hit me? Do it
Ndodayesizwe, do it!
Gagashe: Sthandwa sam, I would
never lay a hand on you. Please
don't leave
Me: Would the both of you just
stop? I need you to just sit and
talk like adults. Your marriage is
important, you have kids
together and you're going to have
your first grandchild. You should
be inlove and happy not fighting
especially about something so
stupid. Gagashe, I will not marry
you. You should get that into your
head stop ruining your marriage
for stupid reasons. I don't know
what's wrong with you but this
thing you're doing is boring and
it's hurting innocent people and it
will tare your family apart.
Gagashe: I'm sorry
Me: You should be apologizing to
MaMzobe.
MaMzobe: Don't even try because
you will not be forgiven.
She folded her hands and leaned
by the wall. She looked so cute, I
actually just wanted to laugh.
Gagashe: Gcino sthandwa sam,
I'm sorry.
He went closer to her and held
her closely to her chest. She was
trying to fight him but he kept
on pulling her closer.
MaMzobe: Gagashe please leave
me alone
Gagashe: Is that what you
want?
She nodded and Gagashe held her
closer. He kissed her and she tried
fighting him but she couldnt
resists. He held her waist moving
down to her ass and he grabbed
it.
Me: Okay let me leave. I cannot
watch porn in broad daylight.
Especially right infront of me.
Bye!
I went to the lounge and
watched tv till the doctor arrived
Me: We meet again Dr Zibulu
DrZ: Yes we do. Where is Mr
Zondi?
Me: He won't be joining us today,
he's busy.
I laughed just thinking what
they were up to. We proceeded
with the check up.
The baby was healthy and there
was a good loud heartbeat.
DrZ: The baby is normal and
healthy. Look, this is the head.
Me: It looks big, taking after
Kwanele.
DrZ: It's a girl
Me: Wow. She's going to be a big
strong girl.
DrZ: Should I print the scans for
you?
Me: Yes please.
He printed them out and cleaned
me up. Once we were done he
packed up and left. Thando came
back and we chilled while I was
eating prawns.
Thando: So where is mom and
dad?
Me: They're making a baby.
Thando: Sies. Well they should
finish up because you have to
leave
Me: Is that time already?
Thando: Yes
I nodded
I felt scared again.
After an hour they came
downstairs, with a change of
clothes too.
Thando: Damn, cover your neck
mom.
She laughed and smacked
Thando's hand.
Gagashe: You need to leave but
you do now you shouldn't see
where we're taking you.
Me: Really?
Gagashe: Yes. I don't want to
blindfold you. Thando will inject you
with this sleeping dose, it won't
harm the baby. You'll just sleep
and wake up tomorrow.
Me: I don't feel comfortable with
that but its better than being
blindfolded.
Gagashe: So you'll go with the
injection?
Me: Yes
MaMzobe: Be brave and take
care of yourself my daughter.
Me: I will and we'll be having a
baby girl!
She cheered and hugged me. I
gave her the scans and she was
crying
Me: Don't cry now
Gagashe: Maybe we should have
another one of our own sthandwa
sami
MaMzobe: Wuu Baba I'm too old
for another baby
Gagashe: That's not true, if you
can still be that good in bed, I'm
sure you can still be pregnant
Thando: Dad, Thats just too
much.
Gagashe: You should be having a
baby of your own. Thandolwethu,
why haven't I seen you with a
man before?
Thando: I'm a single woman
Gagashe: I should sort that out
soon.
MaMzobe: Let the child me, she's
still young and looking.
Gagashe: There's no time to
waste.
Yeyeye
Thando just looked down and
didn't respond.
Thando: Let's inject you and get
going
Me: Yes please
She put everything together and
injected me.
Me: Why is this working so
quickly?
I felt so dizzy already. I closed
my eyes and drifted to sleep.

Insert 44
"Whatever you do Nosipho, make
sure you do not fall. Do not fall
Nosipho! You have a baby to think
of. Do not harm her"- He
instructed.
Is he crazy? How will I do this?
How will I walk on a log with my
eyes shut. I can't even open my
eyes, I'm not blindfolded but my
eyes have been shut with eye
blinds. I didn't even know they
existed.
I took the first three steps.
Me: I'm going to fall, can't you
see that Moses!
Moses: You will not fall. Just focus
Moses, he is my instructor. He is
an attractive white man. He is
not blind, but he lives a life of a
blind man. He has dedicated his
life into training blind people. He
does special cases like mine where
he trains someone who can see
about living the life of the blind
so they can assist the blind people
they live with or are yet to live
with.
Moses: Thats it. You're doing
good, very good.
I continued walking on this log,
careful not to fall. The aim for
this activity was to learn how to
take calculated steps just like
Kwanele did. It was easy for me
to do so because I always looked
at the way he walked and how he
calculated, I just needed to
imitate that and it was hard. I
kept on imagining the times
where I stared at him while he
walked and I did as he did
Moses: That's excellent, you're
getting good. Better than
yesterday
I arrived yesterday in the
morning, I remeber leaving
Durban at night. So I guess we
travelled during the night. I
didn't even get to rest, it was
straight to training. I had to
walk on this log, I don't know how
many times I fell but I didn't
hurt myself, every time I fell, I
bounced back. That's when I
knew whatever I'm falling on is
safe.
Me: I'm done. Take these thing's
off me
Moses: No. We're not done yet. You
need to learn how to use your
sense of smell. How do I smell?
He needed to come closer so I can
just sniff on him but instead
moved further away from me.
Me: I smell something vanilla
flavoured with a bit of some
stingy essence
Moses: I don't know what stingy
essence is
Me: I don't know what to name it
but it's very strong
Moses: Follow the smell. Walk
carefully
I nodded and waited. I followed
him using the sense of smell.
Fuck!
Me: What just hit me?
Moses: You banged your head on
the door. Sorry
I wanna cry.
I cried
Moses: Tears won't help. Walk
I decided to just sit down and cry,
loudly. I couldn't take it anymore.
I'm tired
He touched my face
Yes! He's taking these eye blinds
off.
I opened my eyes and they met
his
Moses: Go bath.
I nodded
He is mean.
I stood up and went to my room.
This is a big white house with so
many stairs. I chose a room
downstairs, I wouldn't be able to
keep up with the stairs. I locked
the door and laid on the bed. I'm
not taking any bath, I wanna
sleep.
Just when I closed my eyes loud
music started playing.
Really?
"I'm watching you. I told you to
bath not sleep. You will have nap
time later." He said
Me: Nap time? Really? Am I a
kid?
This training has made me
develop moods. I was having a
smooth pregnancy without
cravings, mood swings and morning
sicknesses. And now I have mood
swings because of this. Can't they
see that I'm tired?
Me: Moses, are there cameras in
the bathroom too? Cause if there
are I will not bath.
"No, we have no cameras in
bathrooms. You can bath freely
and comfortably. Do not take
hours."- he replied. I looked
around and there were little
speakers. I guess that's where I
can hear him speak from. I took
one, hot and long bath. It was so
soothing and relaxing. I kept on
changing the water when it got
cold.
" You do know you're about to
finish the second hour in there.
Please hurry we have alot to do
today." He said
Me: Okay!
I quickly finished up and did
everything I needed to do then
went to the lounge.
Me: I'm hungry.
Moses: Good, I hear you're a good
cook. I'm about to enjoy a really
good breakfast.
Me: I guess so.
He came close to me and put on
the eye blinds. It really hurts not
being able to see. I had to learn
how to cook when I couldn't see
anything at all.
Being blind isn't a joke
Being blind hurts.
Ouch! I just burnt myself. I was
literally crying while cooking. He
was assisting me but it was a
really hard task to do. How does
Kwanele do this? How does he
survive living like this?
Moses: Stop. You're going to cut
yourself
Me: Ofcause I'm going to cut
myself Moses, I can't bloody see!
Moses: Allow me to help.
He stood behind me, I could feel
his presence all over me. He had
his hand on mine and his face on
my neck.
One thing you should know about
Moses is that he is a tall man.
"Focus" he whispered with his
breath making me shiver. His
breathing on my neck, how am I
supposed to focus now?
Moses: Focus is a skill you need to
master. Using your senses is the
most important tool. You need to
touch, whenever you're dealing
such things as cooking, painting,
drawing etc you need to touch.
Feel this, what is it?
Me: Greenpepper
Moses: Good, you know this
because you touched and felt
what it is. Touch it and you'll
know where to cut it. You're lucky
you've seen how a Greenpepper
looks so you know where to cut it.
Imagine how it will be for
someone who has never seen a
Greenpepper before.
I felt him let go of me and move.
I continued chopping the
vegetables, you touch it then cut.
Touch then cut.
It was fascinating when I
actually got the hang of it. I was
so careful, I didn't want the
excitement and fascination to
distract me.
After a few hours I was done.
Me: I think I'm done.
He took off my blinds and I got
to see the mess I did.
Me: Wow
Moses: It's still your first time,
you'll get better as time goes by.
I'm just scared about how it
tastes.
Me: Shut up Mo
Moses: Pet name? I love it.
I dished up and we ate, shit.
Me: Okay I can't eat this
Moses: I was waiting for you to
say something. This is bad
We laughed and threw the food
away then cleaned up.
Moses: I'll order something.
Me: Where are we?
Moses: You don't need to know
that
I nodded and sat down. There's no
tv here by the way. Its a boring
big white house. I waited for him
to go order. I don't even know
where we are but this place is
covered with trees. I wonder
what he'll order because I don't
think there's any shops here. I
hope he isn't ordering frogs
because I'm hungry. He came
back with McDonald's.
Me: Yeey!!! I thought you'd come
back with frogs.
Moses: I don't eat frogs, I eat
real food.
He took off his hoodie and damn
was his body handsome
Behave Nosipho
Anyways, he gave me my food and
I dug in. Mind you, we both had
two burgers each.
Me: Tell me about yourself Mo
Moses: Mo, anyways I'm Moses
Bradley Cooper. I'm 36 years of
age, I'm single and have no kids.
This is where I stay and what I
do. And that's it.
Me: Really?
He nodded and munched.
Me: Why do you do this? I mean,
what inspired you to do this.
Moses: My father was blind, he
started this and when he got old
he passed it over to me because
he had taught me everything he
knew. I grew up alongside with
my blind brother, I was with him
at all times, we did everything
together. What was worse is
that he was even deaf so I was
his eyes and ears until he passed
on. That made me more eager to
take this path and that's it.
Me: I get you
Moses: And you?
Me: I'm Nosipho Bilose, 25 year's
of age. I'm pregnant as you can
see, engaged and I'm a co-founder
of The Woman Drive and I have a
bunch of businesses.
Moses: Engaged to a man who
passed away.
Me: Yes
Moses: What's next for you?
Relationship wise
Me: I don't know hey, I doubt I'll
be any relationship any time soon.
I just need to be on my own for
some time and focus on my baby.
Moses: I understand
Me: And why are you single? I
mean you're a handsome man,
you're successful and seem well
set off.
Moses: Divorced.
Me: Why?
Moses: We both cheated on each
other. It was an arranged
marriage, we tried making it work
but it just failed. We ended up
cheating on each other till we
both told each other the truth
and decided to divorce. That was
it.
Me: Mmmmh
Moses: So you're thinking whether
I'm naturally just a cheat or
cheated because I was in an
arranged marriage?
Me: Well I wasn't really thinking
of that but you can answer that
too
Moses: I have cheated before in
previous relationships but I
wouldn't say I'm naturally a
cheat.
Me: Right. How many
relationships have you been in?
Moses: Serious relationships is 4
Me: And how many did you cheat?
Moses: 2
Me: Okay.
So this guy just stands in the
middle of everything. He isn't a
cheat but he is.
Moses: How many relationships
have you been in?
Me: Only one serious relationship
with Kwanele and two whatever
those were.
He laughed at me and we
continued talking. We got to know
more about one another and we
completely have nothing in
common. Most of our
conversations ended up being little
arguments or shall I say debates.
Moses: You're impossible
Me: You too, you're too stubborn.
Moses: Let's get back to work.
Now we're going to do some
painting
Me: Painting hey, I'll like that.
Kwanele once taught me.
Moses: I guess it will be easy.
I laughed a little just thinking
about the painting session
Kwanele and I had. How I miss
my man. I followed him to the
painting room then I put the
blinds on.
Moses: Putting them on yourself
now? I guess you're more eager
now.
Me: I guess so
Moses: Don't tell me you're upset?
Me: I'm not upset. I mean, I
don't care that you think there's
no such thing as true love. As I
said earlier, you haven't
experienced it so I guess you have
every right to feel that way.
Moses: This is going to be long.
Your mood swings are getting
stronger by the hour
Me: Whatever, cam we just paint?
I can't even see the person I'm
arguing with. It feels so stupid,
did Kwanele feel this way when
we argued?
I sat down as he instructed and
he taught me how to identify
different colour paints, the
brushes and the different
textures of paintboards.
Me: Why do blind people paint? Is
it something that's necessary for
them to do. I mean, you never
really see what you really painted
afterwards.
Moses: As blind people, we tend to
have no hobbies. Not all books can
accommodate us, we can't do
puzzles and all these activities
people who can see do. So we
resort to painting, it's art. Its
relaxing, it helps you widen your
imagination. We imagine what we
would like to see and try putting
it on a painting. Its a way to
express your emotions and doing
something that doesn't need
much effort.
Me: I love how you say "as blind
people, we" you're including
yourself.
Moses: I lived around the blind
and I work with the blind so I
can say I am part of blind people.
You will soon also be apart of
them, it will be like you're living a
double life.
Me: It feels like it.
I continued with my painting
which I don't even know how it
will look but I know what I'm
expressing deep inside.
"Your baby is growing, I know you
didn't really want her but she's
growing. Its a girl, daddy's little
princess. I hope she looks like me,
having her look like you will remain
as a constant reminder of you. I
mean, it will be enough knowing
that its yours. Our short-lived
relationship, makes me wish that
I had more time with you. Maybe
you would've changed your mind. I
don't even know why I'm saying
all this but I guess this painting
makes me feel like I'm
communicating with you. I guess
this will be my escape whenever I
want to talk to you. I hope you're
listening to me, are you even in
heaven Kwanele? Anyways I love
you and miss you everyday." When
I was done I told Moses to take
off my blinds, I couldnt do it
myself because my hands were
messy, full of paint.
Me: Wtf!
He laughed at me when I saw
what I had painted.
Moses: Well it's not that bad. Its
just dull
Me: Mo, this is cute and bad too.
I had made a painting using grey,
black and white. The patterns
were just a mix going up and
down. It had a little face with
black glasses, well if you didn't
know Kwanele you wouldn't even
know what was in this painting.
It was unclear but clear to me.
Me: I think I'll be a painter,
that's what I'll do for a living.
Moses: You don't want to be
broke. I mean, who will buy your
ugly paintings?
Me: People who have love for true
art
We laughed and cleaned ourselves
up. The next task was learning
how to read and write.
Moses: This is usually the most
difficult task of all. It will take
you months to master it, even
years.
Me: Don't tell me I'll stay here
for years
Moses: No, it will be something
you will continue to teach yourself
until you have to pass on these
teachings to your daughter.
Me: I understand
He came with lots of books and
boards. He told me that we will
start with learning alphabets. He
told me alot about reading and
writing for blind people. How
those programmes started and
how it has changed people's lives
Moses: My father told me how Mr
N. Zondi was so eager to learn
about the blind that he completed
his course so quickly, he's son,
Kwanele was also awarded as one
of the most excellent learners. He
showed his excellents by the
businesses he started and they
were all a success. Its not
everyday that you find a blind
man who was as powerful as he
is. There are a few I've trained
but Mr Kwanele still holds his
number 1 spot even after his
death.
Me: You knew him well?
Moses: No, I just had a few
encounters with him. My father
knew him well
I nodded and continued reading
through the books he gave me
Moses: I'll give you three hours.
There's somewhere I'm headed,
when I come back you should've
read two of those and we'll start
training with the blinds on.
Me: Do I get my phone tonight?
Moses: I didn't receive any phone
belonging to you. I guess your
family kept it with them.
Me: Argh! And that has Gagashe
written all over it.
Moses: Bye
Me: Bye Mo.
He left and I started reading. I
feel like I'll fall asleep but I'll try
holding myself. I need to do this,
the quicker I get it done is the
quicker I'll go home. After about
30mins into reading there was a
knock
Me: Where the fuck is the front
door here?
I looked around and the knocking
didn't stop
Me: I'm coming!!
Geez, this house is confusing. I
finally found the door and I
opened.
"Hello"
I blinked twice.
I couldn't believe what I was
seeing. I couldn't believe my eyes.
My knees where shaking so were
my hands. My palms were
sweating.
Me: Uhm... ahh
I couldn't speak.
I had no words
I wanted to scream
I felt like falling.
What was happening?
I think I'll faint

Insert 45
"Hi, is anyone there?"
Argh, wake up Nosipho
Me: Hi please come in.
"He will need assistance to do so
ma'am.- Said a man who came
behind him. "I will leave him with
you. Mr Moses told me he went
out a bit."- he added.
I nodded and helped this man
walk in. I figured he is blind.
Why do I always get attracted to
the blind one's? He's just, I don't
know, he isn't that handsome but
he is breathtakingly attractive.
He is tall, so tall that I feel like
I'm a dwarf or midget. He smells
so good, my nostrils are floating in
his scent.
I helped him sit down.
"Thank you"- he said
His voice is so broad and deep
that it made me shiver and feel
foreign things.
Me: You're blind?
He laughed and sat comfortably
Him: No, but I can see for now.
Its temporary, I have a little
eye infection which Moses will help
me with tonight.
Me: Oh
He isn't blind.
Thats a bummer but also cool.
Him: I know this might seem off
but hey, I'm so hungry and I
need food but I can't eat nor feed
myself. These past few hours
have been hell, my bodyguards
didn't even know what to do with
me.
Me: Okay
I did something quick for him and
fed him. It felt so awkward at
first then I got the hang of it.
Me: What is your name?
Him: Zithulele
Me: Okay, I'm Nosipho.
After he was finished eating I
gave him something to drink and
washed the dishes.
Zithulele: I guess you're not blind
Me: Yes but I'm pregnant with a
child that might be born blind
Zithulele: Why do you think so?
Me: He's father was a blind man
Zithulele: Was?
Me: He passed away
Zithulele: I'm so sorry
Me: Thank you. And what's your
surname?
Zithulele: Jackson
Me: Oh okay, well do you want to
lie down and rest? I don't think
Moses will be back anytime soon
Zithulele: No I'll sit right here,
with you if you do not mind.
Me: No I don't mind. I just don't
know if I'll be good company, I
mean I don't even know what to
talk about.
Zithulele: You don't need to say
anything. Just having you around
is enough.
I laughed and continued reading
the books I was supposed to
read. He kept on making sounds
like he was groaning in pain.
Me: Are you okay?
He nodded. I didn't believe that
at all. I went to stand next to
him and his shirt had a little
blood.
Me: You're bleeding Zithulele,
what happened to you?
Zithulele: Nothing.
I went to look for a first aid kit
and I found it.
Me: Turn around
He tried and succeeded. I took of
his t-shirt and his vest was full
of blood.
Me: Let's get rid of this and I
have to look for some bandages.
I took off his vest and threw it
in the bin. I found the bandages
and cleaned him up.
Me: Acid?
Zithulele: Yes
Me: You should've went to the
doctor
Zithulele: I did but I didn't go
again for another check up. It
hurts Nosipho
Me: I know but I'll be done soon.
I need to stitch this up
Zithulele: You're a doctor?
Me: No
He was busy crying out in pain and
telling me to stop. I ignored him
and continued stitching him up.
When I was done, I looked for
something for him to wear. I
dressed him up and helped him lay
down on the sofa.
Zithulele: Thank you Nosipho, it
actually feels much better. Maybe
you were supposed to be a doctor
Me: What a joke.
I told him about my academic life
and how I would've never
qualified as a doctor. He laughed
at me and told me a similar story
about his acedemic life. He didn't
even finish high school, he gave
up in grade 10 and his father
forced him to start a business
because he wouldn't just sit at
home and do nothing. Funny
enough, he had never even failed
but he was just lazy and hated
school. He then went to an FET
college and studied engineering
from there.
Zithulele: I joined my fathers
business and got a little
experience of the business world.
I then started my own business,
completely different from what I
had studied. It is a marketing
company, it took 3years for it to
grow and actually be recognized.
The year would end with just an
income of R10000, mind you, I still
had 4 employees to pay. I made
no money at all, then it slowly
picked up and become what it is
today. It was a long road to
success but it was all just worth
it. My life collapsed when my
father died, it was just a moment
where I saw everything in my life
falling apart, I couldn't do
anything. He was my lifeline.
Me: Where was your mother?
Zithulele: I don't know my
mother, she left when I was just
a few months old.
Me: You're the only child?
Zithulele: Yes
Me: Me too.
We continued talking and figured
we have alot in common. We loved
reading the same books, enjoyed
the same music, we didn't enjoy
the same Tv shows and our
personalities blended very well but
our opinions clashed. We was a
very opinionated person and he
didn't want to be wrong. Moses
came back and I left them to
discuss their matters while I
went to cook dinner. I cooked
while listening to music and
singing out loud. A good playlist of
Doja Cat set my mood up high and
I cooked up a storm.
Moses: Smells amazing in here
Me: Well it tastes as good as it
smells. Where is Zithulele?
Zithulele: Here
They sat at the lounge while I
finished up cooking.
Me: I'll dish up in 15mins.
I chilled with them and dished up
after the 15mins was over. We
blessed the food and I dug in.
Moses helped Zithulele, I ate
about two plates.
Moses: Someone was hungry
Me: I'm eating for two
remember, I have a huge
appetite.
Zithulele: Thank you for the food.
It was really good.
Moses: It really was good. I
enjoyed it very much. Zithulele and
I will be out for tonight, I need
help him. And you sweet lady, need
to get some rest because we will
have a busy day tomorrow.
Me: We will?
Moses: Yes we will and Zithulele
will be partaking in it too.
Me: I'm looking forward to it. Let
me go to bed
Moses: I'll make sure all doors are
locked, dont worry, no one knows of
this place so you will not be
attacked by anyone.
Me: I'll hold onto your words.
They left and I also made sure he
locked all doors. I turned on the
music and went to take a long
bubble bath. It was so soothing
and relaxing. I finished up and
went to bed naked.
#TheNextDay
I woke up very early and put on
my blinds. I felt really refreshed
and eager to learn. I want to
finish the course as early as
possible.
Moses: You have an urgent call
He gave me his phone and it was
Menzi
Menzi: Are you doing well there?
Me: Yes I am and yourself? And
where are you?
Menzi: I'm in trouble and I need
some help. I need you to send
10million to the account I'll send
right now. I know you'll want an
explanation and I will give you one
once I see you. I need it in less
than 5hours
Me: How the fuck will I get so
much money in 5hours? I don't
even know where I am
Menzi: Moses will take you to the
bank. It's urgent, you know I
wouldnt be calling you if it wasn't.
Me: Where are you?
Menzi: Cuba
He ended the call before I could
even ask him what he is doing
there and how did he end up being
in trouble? To say I was worried
would be an understatement.
Me: I can't fly to Cuba, I'll get
there when its too late. Give me
my phones please, everything
that belongs to me.
Moses: I don't know have any of
your belongings but I can borrow
you my phone and gadget.
Me: Thank you but they won't
help. I need my own. Take me
home, we'll be back.
Moses: You're not allowed to see
this place Nosipho
Me: I'll put my blinds on, just
hurry okay. Or call Funeka to
meet us here and give me my
belongings. I don't have much
time.
Moses: That I can arrange.
"What is going on? You look
stressed"- He looks even way
more handsome with his eyes
open. He has beautiful brown
eyes, they make me look much
more attractive and they are so
captivating.
Me: I guess you can see now
Zithulele: It took a while and a
whole lot of pain for me to be able
to see. I was lucky the acid didn't
cause too much damage.
I nodded.
I didnt even know what to say to
him. I just looked at him and
waited for Moses.
Zithulele: So you'll tell me what
the problem is?
Me: A friend of mine is in trouble,
we'll he is my fiance's brother too
and I need to help him. So I need
to leave this place and get ahold
of my personal belongings so I can
help him.
He nodded and sat down next to
me.
He shouldn't have done that.
Moses came back and he gave
Zithulele and I blinds. We walked
to the garage with him directing
us with his scent. I was so
focused because I needed to get
out of here, I didn't fall nor hit
something over. I wasn't the
clumsy Nosipho at all. I heard the
car drive off and after what
seemed just like 15mins he said
we should take the blinds off.
Me: Really? We're in Durban
already? Where is your house
anyways? Why do I feel like we
took longer when I came here?
Moses: You were injected, you
went to bed at night and woke up
the next morning. So surely you
don't remember a thing.
He laughed at me and Funeka
was parked infront of us. She
gave me my bag that had
everything I needed
Me: Thank you
Funeka: I miss you and goodbye
I hugged her and she left. I
called Bongani, my lawyer.
"Bongani, this is Nosipho"- I
didn't even greet.
"You shouldn't be calling me. What
is wrong?"- he replied
" I need 10millon asap, I don't
have much time. I'm going to the
bank now and I need you there."-
"I'll be there in 5mins"- he replied
I thanked him and ended the call.
I told Moses where to take me
and he drove off. Thank God they
were just listening to me and no
questions asked. We got to the
bank and I went straight to
Kwanele's accountant.
Me: Hello Jeff.
Jeff: Miss Bilose, hello. Uhm I
wasn't expecting you.
Me: I know, I need R10 million
right now
Jeff: Ma'am what you're asking
for is impossible. You need to first
apply and get approved to be able
to be given that amount of money
Me: Jeff, this is Mr Zondi's hard
earned cash of which he trusted
this bank to keep. It is his money
and as I own all his assets now,
that money is mine and I need it
now.
Jeff: I'm aware you are in
ownership of everything but I
cannot do...
Bonga cut me him off
Bonga: Do as she says Jeff. No
arguments
Jeff: But Sir, you know the rules.
This is beyond me
Bonga: Talk to your bosses and do
everything that needs to be done.
I'll give you an hour, we need it.
Me: Cash.
Jeff: I'll do my best.
He quickly went out of the office
and I sat down.
Me: Thank you for coming, I knew
they'd be trouble
Bonga: You can't walk around with
R10 million cash
Me: I won't walk around with it.
I called Menzi and he didn't
answer. I went to the car and
took the number he used when he
called on Moses's phone.
Zithulele: You're okay in there?
Me: Yes, my lawyer helped. Thank
you for asking.
I called Menzi and he answered
Me: What do I do with this
money?
Menzi: I'll send you the location of
where you should drop it off.
He ended the call.
Me: I'll go back inside
Moses: Keep the phone maybe
you'll need it. We'll be waiting for
you here.
Me: Thank you
I went back inside and we waited.
After two long hours Jeff came
back with 5 black bags filled with
cash.
Me: Took you long
I just wanted to be mean, my
heart was literally twerking
because I was happy he pulled it
off. He gave me papers to sign
and I signed. Bonga carried the
bags and I carried one.
Me: This shit is heavy
Bonga: Its filled with cold hard
cash, it has to be. You're with
Moses?
Me: I'm not with him but he's
driving me. He laughed and put
the bags in his car.
Bonga: You'll come with me for
the drop off. They should wait
here, I don't just trust anyone
Me: Yes sir.
I told Zithulele and Moses that
I'll be back in a few hours. They
told me they'll wait at Zithuleles
house
Me: Send me the address and
Bonga will drop me off there.
Zithulele: Okay, be safe.
I nodded and left with Bonga
Bonga: Take this
He gave me a gun and we picked
up his friend Mpho
Mpho: Hello Mrs...
Me: Miss Bilose
Mpho: The ring?
Me: Engaged to Kwanele Zondi
Mpho: He's dead
Me: I know
We laughed and he took the
location that Menzi sent and
typed it on his computer.
Mpho: We're going to the harbour.
Put this on this bullet proof vest
on. Can you shoot?
Me: Yes
Mpho: Good.
Me: Do you think they'll be an
attack?
Bonga: You're dropping off R10
million in cash, there has to be an
attack.
We got there and I was walking
the middle, Bonga infront of me
and Mpho behind me. I felt safe,
but I was still scared. There was
a big X written in red and that is
where we put the bags. No one
came forth. I got a text from
Menzi
"You need to leave, they want to
take you"
Me: We should leave, they want to
kidnap me.
Mpho: Let's go
Shit...
"Leave the girl and the money"-
one of the guys said. We were
surrounded by 15 men and they
were all pointing guns at us.
Bonga: We're outnumbered but we
can do this
Me: Are you crazy?
Mpho: This isn't time to doubt
yourself Nosipho. All you do is
shoot and run.
I wanted to sit down and cry
Me: You do know that I'm
pregnant
Bonga&Mpho: Wtf!! Why didn't you
say so?
Me: It's visible
Bonga: No it's not.
"Enough chatting! Hand over the
girl."- the guy spoke again. He
might be their ring leader.
There was a shot and one guy fell
down. It wasn't from us. The
shooting started and it was guns
all over
Mpho: Shot and run!
I started shooting too. We had
back up, who are these people?
One grabbed and ran out with me.
I took off the damn balaclava
Me: Emihle!!
Emihle: No time to talk. Just go
back to the car.
Some guys came and we had to
shoot to defend ourselves, it was
just the two of us against them
at that time. We ran and there
were just bodies everywhere.
There shooting went on for a
while and it was silent.We went
back to where we left the others
and I was shocked to see that
the people who backed us up
wearing balaclava's were my girls!
Khetho: You're good?
Me: I'm shocked
Mpho: You have pretty heated
back up Nosipho
Me: Well I didn't know about all
this. How did you even know I
was here
They looked at Funeka and Buhle.
These girls have alot of explaining
to do.
Buhle: We didn't go to that
draining and dirty training for
nothing. It needed to be put to
use.
Funeka: Plus our girl needed us
and we came through
We stood where the cars were
parked and had a little
conversation. Apparently Buhle
knew Menzi was in trouble but
she didn't know what it was
about. She hacked his phones and
heard our conversations then told
Funeka. When funeka gave me my
bag she had put in a tracking
device and they've been following
us ever since.
Bonga: I'm impressed.
Emihle: You have to be, we're
following in the footsteps of your
wives
She winked at Bonga and Mpho. I
didn't ask what she meant but
they knew.
Mpho: Your parents taught you
well Emihle.
Emihle: I've always been
surrounded by the best.
She laughed and we all said our
goodbyes and went our separate
ways. Bonga took me to Zithuleles
house
Me: What happened to the money
Bonga: They took it. Some
surrendered and ran away
I nodded
Mpho: Goodbye and it was good
meeting you
Me: Likewise and thank you. I'll
keep in touch
Zithulele was already waiting for
me by the driveway.
Zithulele: You look tired
Me: And hungry
Zithulele: You're lucky we bought
something, come in
Me: You have a beautiful cosy
home.
Zithulele: Thank you.
Me: Where's Mo?
Zithulele: He fell asleep on the
couch.
I laughed and sat by the lounge
next to a sleeping Moses. Zithulele
gave me food and I dug in
Zithulele: A gun and bullet proof
vest? I won't even ask what
you've been up to. I'm just glad
you're safe.
Me: You're such a sweetheart.
You'll be going back with us?
Zithulele: Yes, for just two more
days and I'll be gone
Me: Okay.
Once I was done eating we woke
Moses up and I put the blinds
back on so we can leave. I fell
asleep as soon as the car started
moving. It's been one long and
exhausting day.

Insert 46
2 months later
I was sad about leaving but I
was also happy about it. Mostly
because I wanted to be back to
my life and see my friends. I was
sad about leaving because Moses
and I had become very close. We
had this sister and brother
relationship going on, he says I'm
the sister he never had. The
training was a success, there are
some things which require me to
keep on learning for a lifetime and
some I've got to know and I
could say I could live a normal
everyday life of a blind person.
It was hard
I faced alot of challenges along
the way, it wasn't just smooth
sailing, it was hard. But all in all,
it is worth it. When I did my scan
for this month, it all seemed real,
I guess it's because the
heartbeat of my daugter was
louder than it has ever been. She
is forming into a complete human,
she is my daugter. I have been
thinking of baby names but I
haven't found the perfect name.
Moses: You're done packing?
Me: Yes I am
Moses: Zithulele called, you were
still bathing. Call him back
He gave me my phone, at last.
I only got my phone on Saturdays
and Zithulele made sure he called
so many times, I literally spent
my Saturdays on the phone with
him. He has become a huge part
of my life, he supported me
throughout my journey and he has
been a good friend. He has thrown
a few flirty hints but he
understands where my heart lies.
He hasn't pushed for anything
more than a friendship.
Zithulele: Maka girl, how are you
doing? I'm sure you happy about
leaving
Me: Yes I am and I'm well thanks
and yourself?
Zithulele: I'm better than I was
yesterday. Anyways, I'll see you
when you get to Durban. I have a
meeting to rush off too, bye.
I said goodbye and put my phone
in my pocket. After checking that
I've packed everything Moses
took my bags to the car while I
made us food to eat. I was going
to miss this place, it had become
like a home to me. My stomach is
very big now, I usually have many
back pains and cramps. The
doctor said its completely normal
for me to experienced this.
Moses: Get in the car and let's go
Me: I'm not wearing any blinds
today?
Moses: You've finished your
training, your reward is getting
to see where this place is.
He laughed and we got into the
car and he drove off. This place is
in Durban, not too far from where
I stay. He laughed at me when
he saw how astonished I was.
Moses: I expect a few visits
especially when the baby is born.
I appoint myself as her
godfather.
Me: Wow my baby has a
godfather, and where are you
taking me?
Moses: I was told to take you to
Langelihle, we're off to the
airport now so we'll be there
quicker.
Me: Okay.
After a few hours we were at
Langelihle. The house seemed to
be full because of the cars that
were parked on the yard. I
wonder what's going on. Moses
opened the door for me and all my
friends and family were standing
there screaming "Welcome Home!!!"
Me: Aah guys, thank you. You
didn't have to do all this. I feel so
special
Mom: You are special little
princess
Dad: And so is the angel inside of
you.
I missed my parents
I hugged them and went over to
my friends who attacked me with
a group hug.
Khetho: You're so big, I can't even
hug you properly. How's my little
princess, aunty has missed you so
much
Simi: We all have missed the little
baby bump
Me: So I wasn't missed?
Ntombi: You're not that special
dear friend
Me: I guess my baby will take all
the attention, I should get ready
to be second best.
Emihle: You should. All we care
about is her and we'll be spoiling
her.
Me: Let me leave you and go
greet the elders
I went to greet The King and
Queen of Langelihle, I don't even
know why they're here. Even
Mpho and Zandy were here too.
She's pregnant? Wow, she is. She
looks beautiful, making me feel
bad about being so ugly yet she's
so beautiful. I guess her
pregnancy is treating her well. I
greeted them and we spoke for a
while. Apparently the Nkosi and
Mpho wanted to just spy on
Emihle, they suspect she has a
boyfriend. I went to MaMzobe
Me: Sawbona Mah
MaMzobe: Ngane yam, uyaphila
kodwa?(My child, how are you
doing)
Me: I'm good mah and yourself?
MaMzobe: I am okay. I see that
my granddaughter will be a big
baby, that stomach is way too
big.
"OZondi kumele bazibonakalise
ukuthi abantu abakhulu. Uthwele
umuntu ophethe okukhulu kanye
nomcebo omkhulu."
He smiled and gave me his hand
to shake.
Me: Gagashe
I shook his hand and then held
MaMzobe.
Gagashe: Are you okay my love?
She nodded and they kissed then
he left. I see the love is blooming
here and I couldn't be more
happier. I will not even touch on
that topic.
Me: I'm glad you're happy, let me
go kill Menzi.
MaMzobe: Please don't kill my son
She laughed and I went to Menzi.
I've never seen him after that
saga and he needs to explain
himself. He was with Vusi,
Ntethe and Lwazi.
Me: Gents....
They greeted and we were silent
for a while.
Me: My Office, now.
They looked at me like they
wanted to contest what I just
said. They weren't very pleased
with my demand. I walked and
they followed me.
Me: Sit down gentlemen.
They sat down and I locked the
door.
Me: So how have you been?
Vusi: We've been well
Me: The business
Menzi: There's been a few fuck
ups but it's nothing we can't
handle.
Me: Nothing you can't handle huh?
If you could handle it, I wouldnt
have had to give you that much
money. Explain what happened
that day?
Menzi: I needed to get our
shipment. Some cops in Cuba have
got ahold of our routes and times
where we move our stuff from
Cuba to Cape Town. I had to pay
them off so I wasn't going to be
arrrested. Now we have them in
our payroll.
Me: Your payroll you mean and why
is that?
Menzi: To keep their mouths shut
Me: So each month we'll loose
millions just to shut them up
Ntethe: I don't think we have
another option
Me: If Kwanele was here, what
would he have said?
Lwazi: We kill them
Me: Then why hasn't that been
done? Don't we have people
specially assigned for that? Why
are we wasting money on people
who don't do their jobs? Why are
we loosing money instead of
making money?
Vusi: You sound just like him
Me: He lives inside of me.
I couldnt believe I just uttered
those words. But its true, he
lives inside of me.
Me: Do we lose money or we
eliminate them?
Ntethe: We can't afford to lose
money.
Me: They should be killed,
especially the ones who wanted to
kidnap me. I'm giving you a week,
I need that job done.
Menzi: Yes Ma'am
Me: Good
I left them there and went to
join my friend's. It scared me how
I didn't feel guilty about ordering
them to kill. I didn't feel guilty
about all this, we all won't do it
with our own hands but there will
be hands who will have those
peoples blood on. There is blood on
our hands too. I'm doing this to
protect this business, I'm doing it
to protect my childs legacy. I
don't even know if she will want
this kind of life but she will have
to, this is all hers. I will not let
her fathers hard work go to
waste. She has to be groomed for
this and she will continue and keep
her fathers name up high? His
name will never die while the both
of us are alive. That is a promise
I am making and a promise that
she will make. My life wasn't
dictated, I wasn't told what to
do and what I'll grow and do. But
Kwanele decided my fate when he
decided to throw all this
responsibility to me and me alone.
My daughter will have to learn
that when it comes to this
business, you do not have a choice.
You accept and adapt, that's the
way it is.
Me: So ladies, The Woman Drive?
What's happening
Buhle: What you do have to know
is that the launch is next week.
So you need to do something
about finding a dress, that won't
be hard to do.
Me: I feel as if it will be very
hard, did you see how big I am?
Simi: Kwanele had a bunch of
stylists and designers, surely they
can fix up a few things for you.
Me: I'll try. I'm glad everything
is in place regarding that
department. Now Funeka, the
wedding? What's happening?
Funeka: The wedding planner is
handling everything, the wedding
date hasn't been exactly
confirmed. We need to do all those
ceremonies that are done before
the wedding so that's still in the
way. I don't know why Gagashe
agreed if he will keep dragging
the entire process.
They laughed at her and explained
how she's been paranoid lately.
Apparently Gagashe hasn't been
dragging any process, but little
Missy here wants to rush the
process, skip the ceremonies and
just get married. She thinks this
will just be an easy process which
will just take two days. We
laughed at her and continued
talking and catching up.
Me: And wena, Mrs Thando?
Ntombi: Argh
Me: Ayboh trouble in paradise?
Ntombi: She's overseas, and she's
adding a month again into her
stay there. And I dumped her, I
can't deal with being in a long
distance relationship
Me: Why didn't you leave with
her?
Ntombi: I have a life and job
incase she hasn't noticed. I
visited her and that's enough,
she's just taking advantage of my
kindness.
Me: I feel as if you're
overreacting
Ntombi: Would you pack up and
leave?
Me: She wouldn't have even had
to ask me twice.
Ntombi: Why did I even ask you
Khetho: I think the answer was
very obvious.
We continued talking while eating,
the mothers had prepared a
feast, it was really just a nice
welcome back home gift. The year
is almost over, I've passed
months without Kwanele and I'm
coping, I'm coping really well. I
miss him everyday but all I can
say is that I've accepted his
death and I am okay. If it was a
few months back, having us
seated together like this, I would
be sad and crying wishing he was
here with us but I'm not doing
that now. I am just me and I
know he is looking down on me and
holding my hand along the path
he has trusted me to take. I
looked at my ring and smiled.
I wonder when I'll take it off,
one day I'll have to take it off
but I doubt it will be anytime
soon. I'm still enjoying being
married to this dead man. Maybe
by next year I'll be taking it off,
we just have a month left till its
another year. I believe I will
have a fresh new start once my
kid is wrapped up in my arms. 6
months of this pregnancy has
been heaven and hell all at the
same time. I need her to be born
now, the last three months that
I still have to endure seem like
they'll be filled with just laziness
and ugliness. Menzi stood up
Menzi: May I have everyone
attention please?
We looked at him and he cleared
his throat. What is this guy
doing? I didn't know there will be
speeches, I hope they don't
expect me to do one too, I will not
do that, I have nothing to say.
I'm just happy to be home and
thats it.
Menzi: Welcome back home
Nosipho, we're all happy to see
you back, alive and safe. We are
happy to see that our little
princess is still alive and kicking in
there. Thank you for taking care
of her for the past few months
Moses. I hope she didn't give you
any trouble.
We laughed and Moses raised his
glass at him.
Menzi: What I really wanted to
say is that, I've made a decision
in my life and I want to be a
husband. And a husband to my
lovely woman Buhle Dlamini.
Buhle: What?
Menzi walked to where she was
seated, he went down on his knee
and opened the little ring box. He
is proposing
Menzi: Sibalikhulu, Will you please
make me the happiest man,
marry me please?
Buhle: Uhm, I... yes!! Yes I'll
marry you.
They hugged
We were still shocked
Simi started ululating and
screaming. We cheered for them
and congratulated them. Khetho
was still just stuck sitting next to
me, she hasn't moved nor has she
even said anything. She's just
there stuck like a statue.
Me: Say something
I whispered to her. She looked at
me, gosh, she wanted to cry.
Khetho: He's marrying her?
Me: Yes
Khetho: Fuck, that hurt.
Me: I'm sorry
We were whispering all this time.
She looked at me and held back
her tears
Khetho: Excuse me.
She stood up and left
And then there was silence.
Shit.
I guess those who know, knew
shit just hit the fan.
Mpho: Congratulations, let's have
a toast to the newly engaged
couple.
Me: Yes, a toast to Buhle and
Menzi!
We toasted and I kept a smile.
This needs to be fixed. Simi
laughed and sat down and drank
her wine.
Simi: Ay Menzi wayenza inyaka
nyaka
Hawu uSimlindile!
Did she have to say that?
Okay.
Moses: Okay, let me love and
leave you. Its been good to meet
you all, I have to get going.
Me: Let me walk you out
I walked him out and thanked
him for everything. I went back
inside the house and went to look
for Khetho. I couldnt find her
anywhere. I went downstairs and
looked for her but I couldn't find
her
Me: Has anyone seen Khetho?
Ntombi: She just drove off. I
think she needs some time alone
I nodded.
This will be hectic
What a way to come back home
What a day

Insert 47
After the long day we had
yesterday I went to bed early.
Khetho didn't come back, I got a
text from Menzi this morning
saying he can't find her. I don't
even know why he went to look
for her at the first place. He
should just focus on his fiance and
leave Khetho. The situation is a
mess as it is and being caught up
in the middle just sucks. After
doing my morning routine I went
to wake Emihle up
Emihle: What?? Gosh I was still
dreaming of my prince charming
Me: I need you to drive, let's go
look for Khetho
Emihle: Khetho is safe, she's in
one of my apartments
Me: How do you know?
Emihle: She texted me. Now can I
sleep?
Me: No, you have to take me
there
Emihle: Fine!!! Give me an hour
Me: I'm giving you 45mins
I had to wait for two hours till
she came downstairs and she
looked pissed.
Emihle: Lets go
Me: I made breakfast as a token
to apologize and say thank you
She rolled her eyes at me and I
laughed at her. She really doesn't
like being woken up while she is in
deep sleep. She drove off while I
was asking her about her
apartments. Apparently her
father bought her 10
apartments because he wanted
her to be in the property business
which she wasn't really interested
in. She has several businesses
that are under her name, she
doesnt do anything, she just gets
money out of them. We finally got
where we were going, I needed
the toilet, I couldnt hold in the
urine anymore.
Me: Where is the toilet!!!!
They laughed at me as they ran
with me showing to the loo. I felt
so relaxed as I released it
Me: Aaaah that was amazing.
Khetho: You looked like you were
just going to pee on yourself
Me: You have no idea, I was
about to let it all go. You were
going to clean me up
Khetho: Never
Emihle: Just imagine, wuu no
thank you dear mommy.
Me: But you guys promised to
take care of me?
Khetho: Yes but cleaning your
mess wasn't part of the deal.
Me: Let's go
We had stayed in the bathroom
for too long. I washed my hands
and we went to the room. Seems
as if Khetho was still asleep
Me: Chocolates and tissues huh?
You've been crying your eyes out I
see.
Khetho: I feel so stupid, I don't
even know why I acted that way
and what was I even crying for.
I mean, I was the one who broke
things off with him and told him
to be with Buhle. I didn't think
he was going to marry her
Emihle: I'm lost
Oh, she doesn't know the entire
story. Khetho explained
everything to her and she was
shocked
Emihle: Wow oh, I don't even know
if I would've been able to even
continue being friends with the
both of them. I'm not that
strong, I would've cried everyday
when I saw them together
Khetho: I got used to it and I
guess I had accepted it but them
getting married hurts.
Me: You love him
Khetho: I do. He did tell me he
had to get married this year,
apparently Gagashe told them to
get married before the end of
this year so that he can hand
over his businesses to them. I
didn't even think of that anymore,
its his time to get married and he
got married to Buhle. It makes
sense right? She's his girlfriend.
I just had a little hope, that
they would end what they have in
maybe just a year and he'd come
back to me. Was I selfish for
wishing for that?
Me: I don't even know what to
say Khetho, I really don't know.
I'm just frustrated about all
this, I feel like we all are. The
entire friendship circle, we're
friends with all three of you and
we want the best for all three of
you. If we could just find a
common ground we...
She cut me off
Khetho: We did find common
ground when I decided to leave
Menzi. That was my decision
which I thought was best at
that time and I still think it is.
I'm just hurt by that they are
getting married. But what I'll do
is cry just for one more day and
then I'll go apologize kuBuhle for
acting the way I did and
congratulate her.
Emihle: I don't think you should
apologize for the way you felt.
They know the situation and
you're allowed to feel and act
however you want to. Never
apologize for the way feel, it is
your feelings and you cannot
control them. But if you want to
apologize just to clear the air
then do so.
Me: And where's Ntombi with her
therapeutic self? She would know
what to say right now. Anyways,
you should get up from that bed
and lets go out. Look beautiful
and sexy then you'll find a very
handsome man. The men here in
Langelihle are drop dead gorgeous
and you know
Emihle: She knows that very well,
there's this guy here who has
been asking for her number but
she keeps on saying no. He is
yummy plus he's father is one of
the elders of this kingdom.
Me: Why don't I know about this
guy?
Khetho: You've been away so shut
up. And wena Emihle uyaphapha...
Lelethu doesn't have that thing!
That thing that makes my
honeypot dance and gets me
attracted to him. He is just dull
and he looks like the serious type.
He would just wife me, make me
have 100 babies and depend on
him. I do not want that at all
Emihle: Well he was engaged not
so long ago, the bride ran away
the night before the wedding. He
lost it, he was so angry and
embarrassed
Me: That's very sad and
embarrassing too.
Khetho: Let me bath and dress
up
Me: Ayboh I was joking we're
staying indoors, I look like a hippo
and you think I'll go out looking
like this? Forget it. Emihle, order
lots and lots of food then we'll
watch movies in here and cuddle.
I don't want to make the paper
while I look like this. Shame I
can't
Khetho: I want to swear at you
soo bad but I don't want to
teach that kid strong language.
I'll go have my bath in peace.
She said as she threw a pillow on
me. Emihle ordered food while I
looked for a movie to watch. I
got a call from Zithulele
Me: Zithulele
Zithulele: My queen, how are you?
Me: I'm good and yourself?
Zithulele: I'm good thanks. So
what does a guy like me do to see
a beautiful lady like you around
here? I must say, the breeze in
Langihle is very soothing
Me: You're here!! Zithulele I hope
it's not one of your jokes
Zithulele: I'm serious. Parked
right outside the address you've
once given me
Me: I'm at my friends place now
and I'll be here for a while. I
send you address right now
Zithulele: I'll be waiting
I was so excited! I gave Emihle
my phone as she texted the
address.
Me: Do I look okay? Khetho give
me something beautiful to wear
Khetho: No clothing of mine will
fit you hippo!
She shouted from the bathroom.
Argh, why didn't I think of that?
Emihle: Why do you have to look
beautiful for this guy? Hehe it's
a potential bae nhe?
Me: No, it's just a great friend.
Plus he always looks good and
smart so I figured I should look
the same
Khetho: Lies, you like him and its
written all over your face.
Me: No it's not. My face is dark
and it has pimples, no likes
written on it.
Emihle: He's here
She showed me the text on my
phone and I wore my slippers. I
was wearing a lousy blue
maternity dress and my hair was
tied into a messy bun. Why didn't
he warn me about coming here?
Ay surprises ke kodwa! Anyways,
I shouldn't care about how I look,
he is just a friend. He came out
the car as I walked towards him
and he had a huge smile on his
face. He attacked me with a
wonderful warm hug and kissed
my cheek.
Woah brother.
Chill.
Me: I see someone has missed me
Zithulele: To the point where I
was having sleepless nights
because when I closed my eyes, I
could only see your beautiful face
and hear your beautiful laughter.
And then I thought, argh let me
drive all the way to Langelihle
and free myself from this torture
Me: That sounded so cheesy
Zithulele but I like it.
He opened the door for me and we
got into the car. He was smiling
non stop and he was making me
keep smiling for no reason.
Zithulele: You look beautiful
Me: Thank you even though you're
just saying that to make me
smile. I look like a hippo
Zithulele: And your nose is so big
it's like you're going to burst.
Me: Whatever
He laughed and he gave me a gift
bag.
Me: What is this?
Zithulele: Open it and I hope you
still like it
I screamed and dug in. It was
hot wings from chicken licken,
Moses got me hooked to these
and I liked them so much. I'd
wake up and demand to have
them, so Zithulele and Mo decided
to stock up on them just incase I
wake up and want some
Me: You're a life saver
Zithulele: I have to do it for the
my little one, I wish I was the
father.
I chocked!
What!
Zithulele: What I mean is, I wish
I had met you first and then
maybe by now you'd be pregnant
with my daughter and you'd have
my ring on your finger
Me: I don't know what to say
Zithulele: You don't have to say
anything, what you should know is
that I love you
Me: Love is a strong word, it could
be that you just have feelings for
me nothing more
Zithulele: I know what I feel and
I know it's not just feelings. I
love you and I don't expect you to
love me back nor even have
feelings for me. I know you love
Kwanele and I respect that. I
just wanted to let you know
I just smiled not knowing what to
say. It was awkward for a while.
Literally, the only sound I could
hear was my chewing sounds,
that's how silent it was.
Zithulele: Anyways, let me not
worry about my feelings. I'll sort
that out
Me: How?
Zithulele: I don't know but I'll
find a way to unlove you if that
can even happen
I laughed at him and we
continued talking about random
things. It reminded me alot
about how I didn't get these
moments with Kwanele. I must
say, our relationship was really
short lived. He received a call and
he was told he had an emergency
to get to. We said our goodbyes
and he gave me another gift bag
with chocolates and wings. When
I got back into the house I had
that feeling of really missing
Kwanele. I needed to be close to
him.
Me: I know I'm not allowed to
drive but theres somewhere I
need to be and I need to be there
alone
Emihle: We can take you there
then we'll leave you alone
Me: Fine
Emihle: What happened?
Me: Being with in another mans
presence just made me miss how
I felt when I was with Kwanele.
Zithulele told me he loves me, I
mean, he is a nice decent guy and
he is very likable and all but he's
not Kwanele
Khetho: No one will ever be like
Kwanele. That's why you shouldn't
compare him to anyone else.
Me: I guess you're right. Let's go
Emihle: Where are we going?
Me: Where you took us when we
first got here. I need to be calm
We drove off and I was silent all
the way. Just thinking about
Kwanele and how much of a freak
he was. When we got there they
dropped me off and parked a bit
far from me and I stayed there
alone and cried. Its been months
since he died and I'm still crying
for him. When will I heal? When
will I be okay deep inside and
accept that my blind man is no
more.
Me: Kwanele! I need you, I'm not
strong enough to do this on my
own. I know you didn't want the
baby but my baby needs a father
figure. Who will I turn to when I
struggle? I know I was taken
for training and all but all of that
is not enough. The baby and I
have huge amounts of money
which will secure us for a very
long time but all of that is not
enough, your presence is needed.
You're needed Kwanele. I miss you
Pickle, Buttercup misses you so
much. I hope you're in heaven
watching over me and I hope
you'll ask God to give me
strength. You believed in me even
when you knew that I was very
clumsy but you gave me that job
not only did you give me a job but
you gave me love in abundance.
You left me way to early, we
needed more time. I needed more
time with you but I guess
heaven couldn't wait for you. I
love you my Pickle and I forgive
you.
I stood up and walked to where
Emihle had parked.
Me: I feel much better
Khetho: Good, cause our dresses
for the launch have arrived!
Buhle just called checking up on
me and she told me. Let's go home
Me: You're ready to face her?
Khetho: Yes, I'm over the little
episode I had. Life has to go back
to normal again as for me, I've
dealt with my feelings.
Me: So much for staying indoors
and watching movies
Emihle: We'll have that some
other time. The show must go on.
I'm sure mom will be very happy
Me: She has to, its a big deal. It
took longer than we expected but
it's for a much greater course.
Apparently there were also men
who stayed at the old womans
shelter and they had no where to
go. Then The Woman Drive
expanded and built another
shelter to also accommodate men
and boys as well. It expanded to
having a facility where many of
these young boys who smoke and
stay on the streets will he
rehabilitated, sent back to school
and some will work at the farms.
It has become a much bigger
initiative than just helping
women. When we got to our
house,Ntombi,Simi, Funeka and
Buhle were already waiting for us
by the gate. So much drama
Khetho: I'm sorry Buhle
Buhle: No need to apologize, I'm
sorry too.
They hugged it out and continued
talking and we gave them some
space. Indeed our dresses looked
amazing. I got a text messsge
from Ntethe
"It's done."- my heart sank as I
realized that people have been
killed. It was my order. What
have you become Nosi? I felt
guilty but I knew it was for a
greater course. I knew what I
was working for and where it was
going. If it means getting my
hands dirty than so be it. We
worked and finalized everything
for the launch.
Ntombi: Your phone is ringing
Nosipho!
I went to her. I had left my
phone with them while I cooked
in the kitchen. A call from Cuba?
What has Menzi done now?
Me: Nosipho Bilose speaking, hello.
Silence
Me: Hello??
The call ended
Mxm.
I put the phone on the kitchen
counter and after a while it rang
again.
Me: You better start stalking!!!!
What sick game are you playing?
It was still silent and I ended
the call. I finished up cooking and
I dished up
Me: Food is ready!!
Buhle: Thank God, I was
starving.
Me: You could've stood up and
cooked
Ntombi: We missed your cooking so
we had to abuse you mommy.
Me: Whatever
My phone vibrated.
Mxm
It's a text message.
"Help me"- it was still from this
same number from Cuba.
Simi: What's wrong?
Me: Nothing
Simi: You're sure? You seem
confused
Me: I'm just irritated by this
number that keeps calling thats
all. I'll ask Lwazi to check it out
for me.
They nodded and I continued
eating.
Help me? Who would I be helping
in Cuba?
Me: Buhle, where is Menzi?
Buhle: Durban.
I nodded
Menzi is in Durban so there's no
way its him. The enemies we
have there have just been killed,
now who would be wanting help in
Cuba? Especially from me?
Argh let me just ignore this
before I crack my mind because of
some stupid prank.
Me: You'll wash the dishes, I'm
going to bed. I got to my room,
eish the window was opened, I
forgot to come close it. Now the
wind made a mess.
Me: Aaah, not this one!
I was sad because the frame on
my bed stand fell, it was a picture
frame of Kwanele. It broke! Argh!
I took the picture and collected
the glass
Me: Ouch!!!
Glass cut
Really? Its such a small cut yet
its bleeding so much.
Me: Simi!!!! Come with the first
aid kit please!!
They came in running and they
didn't even have the first aid kit
with them. They were panicking
and telling me to breath in and
out
Me: I'm not giving birth you
idiots. Even if I was, what would
I be needing the kit for?
Simi: We just heard you scream
out my name so we thought is
pop out time
Me: Mxm get the kit please
They laughed at me and nursed
my cut. Funeka even tucked me in
a sang a bed time song for me.
They were just over doing it but
I love them anyways.

Insert 48
"Nosipho! Who dressed you?"
"How are you holding up with Mr
Zondi's businesses?"
"Do you know the gender of the
baby?" "Will your child be born
blind?" "Where have you been for
the past few months?"
Those were the questions I
received as soon as I stepped out
of the car for the launch. It
shifted from being The Woman's
Drive Langelihle Branch Launch
to Ask Nosipho Bilose about her
life. What a sudden shift. To say
I was annoyed would be an
understatement, I wanted to
leave this place the moment the
journalists attacked me with
questions. Luckily, Vusi was my
bodyguard and my plus one. He
managed to get me pass the red
carpet quickly, as to why there is
a red carpet? I do not know but
it has Simi written all over it. I
stood by the entrance next to the
girls and took a few pictures. It
was suddenly quiet and many black
cars parked at the entrance.
Me: What is going on?
Funeka: The Royal family is
arriving, we're in public so we they
have to follow protocol and be all
formal.
Me: This is fascinating. The door
opened and The King came out, he
looked so serious and intimidating,
he is always like this but I guess
his royal attire and crown made
him see more serious and
intimidating. He stood for a little
bit as they took pictures of him
and he went to open the door. He
was opening the door for Naye,
the queen and she looked stunning.
She had a huge smile on her face
as the journalists took pictures of
them and people were hailing and
ululating. I don't know if I'd be
able to handle all of that, its too
much for me. She waved at us as
she made her way to the
entrance where we stood. The
bodyguards opened the door for
the third car and it was Emihle
followed by her little sister
Lisakhanya. They both looked
stunning and had their crowns on,
I caught Emihle rolling her eyes
at us. She seemed annoyed. She
stood next to us
Emihle: Is there anyone else we
waiting for before we open up?
Khetho: No I don't think so.
Ntombi took the mic and
welcomed everyone. She briefed
people about what was going to
happen today and I was glad it
was a short programme. I was
only going to speak at the end of
the event, I wasn't that much
involved in this project so I didn't
want to be part of the speakers
and mostly because of this sudden
fame I have and how I look. As
we did the last time, we cut the
ribbon and opened up the doors to
the shelter. People were allowed
to go in and see some of it and we
all headed to the reception area
which is the shelters hall. It was
beautifully decorated and all I
could smell was food.
Me: I'm hungry and that food
smell isn't helping
Funeka: I'll get someone to
arrange something for you
Me: Hah I'll be the only one
eating in here, I don't want to
look like a spoilt brat.
Ntethe: You're pregnant plus is
none of their business.
He said as he stood up and came
back with a takeaway filled with
hot wings and hake fish. I
thanked him and dug in, I was
praying no journalist would take a
picture of me.
Naye: You're so pregnant.
I laughed at her and she hugged
me
Me: I'll mess up your dress if you
keep on holding me. You look
beautiful mah
Naye: Thank you very much.
Great job young ladies
Emihle and Buhle were the hosts
of the event and they called upon
Khetho as she spoke about the
woman drive and how it began.
Then Simi as head of the
Langelihle project spoke about
what happened and how the
project expanded and what a
great experience they've had in
Langelihle. It was a great launch
and it was a bit different from
our first launch in Durban. The
King stood up and so did his
council, they were all here. I must
say, they are all just so handsome
you would swear they are not in
their mid forties and their wives
are in their early forties. Besides
the younger ones which are
Thapelo and Nceba, Mayi and
Phelo and Sbahle and KJ. They
are in their 30s. We bowed for
the King and he told us to rise.
Me: Help please
Vusi: We weren't even supposed to
be on our knees
Me: I couldnt keep up with this
bending thing so I decided to
kneel. Now I can't get up.
They laughed at me while Vusi
helped me up.
Nkosi: I see we're all settled now,
forgive the Mrs Zondi there,
she's carrying a special princess.
We laughed and the journalists
took pictures. I didn't realize
that the King was waiting up on
me.
Nkosi: This is a big and glorious
day for the Kingdom of Langelihle.
A few years back my wife came
home, she was literally crying. I
stood up with a gun ready to kill
whoever made my wife cry. My
wife hardly cries so I was on a
panic mode. Little did I know
that she was crying because of
what she saw. She told me that
there are woman who sleep on
the streets with their children,
woman who sell their bodies
because they are desperate to
make a living, homeless women,
women who are addicted to drugs
and have no way of recovering, it
was her first time seeing such a
hurtful side in the outskirts of
Langelihle. She asked me "You are
a King, Nkosinathi these are your
people! What are you doing to help
them? Do something!" Those
were her exact words, that week,
I didn't get any kiss, no hug and
I had to take cold showers. I
was starved. I was clueless, I
didn't know what to do but I had
to do something. So I bought a
building and gave them a place to
stay which was the old shelter
and she was happy. The mistake
I did was focusing on just wiping
my wives tears away and not
focusing on the building I had
bought and my people. I didn't
focus on the deeper meaning of
what her tear expressed. That
building become what we all know
it to be today. A few month's
back, she barged into my office
jumping up and down telling me
she wants to go to Durban. Mind
you, I was in a very important
meeting yet she comes in here and
tells me she wants to go to
Durban. She told me she had
found the solution to her problem.
And her solution was what those
ladies sitting there had came up
with. I didn't even ask many
questions. She left for Durban and
soon came back with these lovely
ladies who are filled with so much
vision and who were very eager to
change lives. When I saw them, I
knew that the lives of my people
are in safe hands. We all know
that the project and the woman
drive is about helping and
supporting females of all ages but
it exceeded that, it expanded and
it also reached out to helping
males because the demand of such
help is high and not only did
women need it but men too. My
children right there accepted the
hard work and built this facility
that caters for both women and
men. We are here to celebrate
this much of a success because of
them and I thank you very much.
You have all done very well. Thank
you.
He sat down and the programme
continued. It was now my turn.
My feet were killing me, I wore
my slippers and Vusi helped me up
the podium.
Me: Good Day ladies and
gentlemen.
Flash
Flash
Flash
The cameras were even blinding
me and I couldn't see properly.
The journalists who took pictures
were chased out by the
bodyguards.
Me: Thank you and I'm sorry for
that disturbance. It is an
outmost pleasure to stand here
today and see the beautiful work
my colleagues have done. As many
of you know that I am also a co-
founder of this organisation but I
will not take any credit at all, it
was all their work. As some of you
would know I was away for a long
period of time and I couldnt take
on the project because of personal
matters I was facing during
that time. I would like to thank
my ladies, the gang, the go
getters for doing such an excellent
job. I am proud to see what a
success each and every one of us
have become. It makes me happy
to see the amount of smiles we're
able to put in the faces of people
we're helping. I would like to give
thanks to the Queen for trusting
us with such a heavy duty, for
coming to us with an opportunity
that none of us were actually
thinking about. I'd also like to
thank The King of Langelihle for
providing all sorts of resources we
needed to get this project up and
running. We thank the Kings
council for working alongside with
us. Most of all, we thank the
people of Langelihle for making
our stay here such an
extraordinary experience. Thank
you.
I went back to my seat and I
was starving.
Me: When are we eating? I'm
starving
Menzi: But you just ate?
Me: I know and I'm hungry now.
Ntombi: Don't worry, we'll be
eating now.
While we were just talking and
food was being served I saw
Thando approaching our table.
She told me to keep quiet as she
was walking behind Ntombi. I
hope Vusi doesnt mess this up
cause he hasn't seen her. Thando
covered Ntombi's eyes
Vusi: Thando!
Argh! He messed it up.
I'm not surprised
Me: You were supposed to shut
up.
Vusi: Sorry, I realized when I had
already called her name.
Thando: That's why you've been
single for the past 2years, you
know nothing about being
romantic. Hi babe
Silence
Tjo, I wanted to laugh but I held
it in. Ntombi is pissed
Thando: Awu Ntombi
Vusi: So much for being romantic...
Emihle: Thula Vusi
Thando sat down next to Khetho
and Simi who made opened a seat
her. Ntombi was none of it. I
know deep inside she's happy that
Thando is here but she just
wants to show her that she's
angry.
Vusi: This is some of the reasons
why I don't do relationships
Lwazi: You don't do relationships
or relationships just don't do you?
Vusi: Oh its like that now? I shall
keep everything to myself
Simi: Cela niyeke uVusi tuu (Please
leave Vusi alone) He may be single
but he is just the most romantic
and the perfect gentlemen
amongst you all.
Buhle: That's true.
Menzi: Then you should all just
marry him
Us: We wouldn't mind.
Ntethe: Hayboh, Vusi? What is it
that you have that we don't?
Vusi: Its the charm.
We laughed and continued having
silly conversations while we were
eating. People were dancing
together while I was sitting
with Emihle who was just focused
on her phone.
Lubah: Want to dance?
Me: If your wife doesn't kill me
Lubah: She won't mind. He held
my hand and we started dancing
to slow music. He's fit. Very fit.
Lubah: How is the baby?
Me: She is well, just growing and
kicking alot. You'd swear its a boy
playing soccer
Lubah: As long as she is okay, she
can kick you all day long. We'll be
waiting on her with many gifts.
I laughed at him. Emihle once
mentioned that her fathers
always go overboard with buying
babygifts.
Lubah: I want you to take on the
TWD project in the Eastern Cape.
I want it in Bizana and KuTsolo.
I'll head up all the finances and
supply all resources needed.
Me: What! Wow uhm okay, I'll
speak to my partners and we'll
get back to you. I'm sure they'll
accept this proposal.
Lubah: You all have busy years
ahead, you'll end up having TWD
branches in all provinces. It's
needed all over the world actually
so you best believe that you are
going far.
Me: I guess so. Thank you for the
opportunity.
He took me back to my seat and
started dancing with Emihle. The
launch was over and we were
invited to the royal palace for a
little celebration. I was so happy
because that meant we'll have
more food. They always cook a
feast at the Royal House. We
were just chilling at the lounge
with Emihle, her siblings and her
cousins. It was a fullhouse and a
whole lot of noise.
Ntandokazi: Aunt Siya, please sing
for us
Siya: Ayboh Ntandokazi
They begged her and she finally
agreed. We were told to go to
some room and there were musical
instruments there. She sat down
and started playing the piano. I
guess shes a musician
Siya: "I fought for you, the
hardest, it made me the
strongest. So tell me your secrets.
I just can't stand to see you
leaving but heaven couldn't wait
for you.
No heaven couldn't wait for you
Heaven couldn't wait for you
Oh heaven couldn't wait for you
So go on, go home."
The way she sang it. The
emotions she had. The way she
touched me.
Siya: "You showed me love was all
you ever needed.
Heaven couldnt wait for you
Oh, heaven couldn't wait for you.
You,you,you ,you
No!!
Heaven couldnt wait for you"
I had flashbacks of all the
memories we shared with
Kwanele. Heaven couldnt wait for
him. It was like she was singing
this song for me. I was getting
so emotional
Hack, I was crying my eyeballs
out.
Me: Excuse me
I walked away, I don't even know
where I'm going. I don't know
this house properly
Someone was calling out my name
but all I did was walk away. I
cried so hard, maybe the
hormones were also contributing
to the emotions too.
"Nosipho stop!
I stopped and held my breath. He
held me and comforted me. I cried
in his arms and he held me tight.
It was Lubah
I pulled away
Lubah: Are you okay? Bring her
some water Buhlebenkosi!
I nodded.
This was inappropriate.
Me: Thank you
I gulped on the water, I finished
the whole bottle. Simi gave me
tissues and I blew my nose.
Everyone was now looking at me,
I felt so shy. There was too
much attention on me
Mpho: Siya should never sing, she
always makes people cry
Me: That's how much of a great
singer she is. I'm sorry for just
crying like that, the song you sang
just touched me.
Siya: I'm sorry I made you cry. I
don't even know why I sang that
song. We're supposed to celebrate
and not cry
We laughed and decided that
there will be no more singing. We
all shifted the blame on
Ntandokazi since she wanted Siya
to sing.
Me: I think thats my phone
ringing
I could hear it but I didn't even
know where my phone was.
Mbonisi came with it and I
thanked it. That boy doesn't talk,
he is just mute and always on his
phone. Its the cuba number again
Me: This is beginning to irritate
me. Hello!
"Buttercup, help."
Beep
Beep
Beep
What no! It can't be. No!
Me: Kwanele!!!
My hands were shivering, I
couldnt breathe. This can't be.
Menzi: What is it Nosipho! Speak!
Me: Its Kwanele
Menzi: My brother is dead
Me: No one calls me Buttercup
Funeka just wailed and cried out
loud.
Me: He said Buttercup. Am I
imagining things? Menzi, he called
me Buttercup.
He called me Buttercup.
I Fell Inlove With A Blind
Insert 49
I don't think I could function. All
I wanted was to hear his voice
again. I needed to hear him say
Buttercup one more time.
Me: Arrange a flight for me, I'm
going to Cuba
Lwazi: You cannot just go to Cuba,
it's a long flight. Plus, we don't
even know if its safe for you to
fly
Me: Sis Naye, you're a gynae, she'll
check up on me or something. I
need to leave
Naye: You cannot, you're too
heavy.
Me: Then take out this baby! I
don't care what you say but I'm
leaving. He needs me
Vusi: We can go and you'll wait
here. We'll come back with him
Me: Are you Buttercup?
Vusi: No
Me: Did he call you to help him?
Vusi: No but...
Me: No buts. Now instead of
questioning me, you should be
working on finding out where
exactly he made that call from. I
am leaving
Lubah: Calm down will you?
Nosipho I know you're frustrated
and worried, but do not make
some such important decisions
based on your temporary feelings.
Just sit down, drink some water
and let us help.
I nodded
Why am I even listening to him?
He smiled at me and I sat down
and drank water.
Me: Menzi are you crying?
He quickly defended himself and
said no. He was really crying while
Khetho covered him and was
wiping off his tears. Why is
Khetho comforting him? Where's
Buhle?
Buhle was just standing there
near Vusi.
Okay, let me not judge or over
analyze this. I have important
things to worry about than
peoples fucked up relationships.
Ntethe: What we need to do is
track where the number came
from?
KJ: I can get my agents in Cuba
to start looking all over for him.
I'll need his full description and
pictures
Funeka: I'll email them to you
right now
Nkosi: You can use my basement,
follow me.
I stood up but they stopped me.
Mayi: Women are not allowed in
the basement.
Me: There's a first time for
everything right.
Lubah: You're so stubborn
Me: I know. Let's go.
I actually lead the way to a
basement that I didn't even
know where it was. I stood and
looked at them, Nkosi laughed and
started walking. I followed him
Belinda: She gets to go to the
basement?
They nodded. She seemed unhappy
about it. I didn't have time to
nurse anyone's feelings nor did the
men I was working with. We got
into the basement and they
locked. Everything seemed normal,
I didn't understand why they
didn't want women in here.
Mayi: It's our own man cave.
I nodded. I guess he saw how
confused I was about women not
being allowed inside. I sat down
and Lubah gave me some fruits
Me: Thank you
He's very caring, I guess it comes
off naturally to him.
Mpho: I will need your phone
please. Tell me, what mess do you
have with Cubian people?
Menzi: Its one long mess that
started way back when my
grandfathers handled the
businesss. Its a forever lasting
fued that has been passed on
from generation to generation.
There are times where we work
well with these people but then
the fued starts again. It's
mostly just greed, many want to
take us out of the business
because my great grandfather
took the business and ruled before
he died. Then we've been leading
since then.
Me: Why are you they taking
Kwanele? What does he have to
do with this!
Lwazi: He has alot to do with
that. See Kwanele is the biggest
threat. He has done way more
than what anyone who has lead
has done. He multiplied the
business and the profits we make
is way more than what anyone
else in the world makes. He put us
way on top and they want that
to stop. They wanted to kidnapp
you and kill you and Menzi because
you've been holding up what
Kwanele did.
Me: Are you getting something?
I'm tired of sitting here. I need
to be in Cuba already
Nkosi: Patience.
I was irritated. I wanted to say
something but I also didn't want
to disrespect him.
He is a King afterall.
Me: He hasn't called again?
They looked at me.
Okay, that's a no.
They don't understand how I feel.
Being surrounded by a group of
men is also just creepy. I chose to
just shut up and let them do
their job. I figured they know
what they are doing by the
number of computer systems in
this basement and the improved
technology. So I trusted
everything they are doing. My
mind was just lost in deep
thoughts. Thoughts about
Kwanele, all this while I thought
he was dead but he was in Cuba.
I don't even want to begin to
imagine what he has been going
through. All I'm grateful for is
that he is alive. I'm hoping that
I also find him alive.
Me: Are you finding anything?
Mpho: Yes I found the location
where the call came from. I'm
still looking for the directions on
the GPS to see what route to
take from the airport. It seems
like a long way
Me: I don't think they have on
airport in Cuba, find the nearest
one.
Mpho: This location is on the
outskirts of Cuba. It's in an old
deserted area which seems to only
have about 15 houses. I think its
just a dangerous place.
Nkosi: The next flight out for
travelling to Cuba is in 4days.
This is because of a few whether
problems. Even our private jet
cannot fly out.
Me: That's too long! I can't wait
for 4 days, I'll loose my mind. He
might even be really dead by then
Menzi: Don't say that!
Me: Don't shout at me and do
something to change this. I'm
out of here, this place is
suffocating me and it's not
helping at all. Its making me
more and more stressed instead
of solving my problems.
I stood up and left. The ladies
were sitting watching tv and I
sat next to Khetho
Khetho: Any progress?
Me: There is but it's useless. I
need to be in Cuba right now but
I cannot. That's driving me
insane. The next flight out to
Cuba is in 4days, I can't wait
that long
Naye: You're pregnant, you cannot
travel such a long distance. You
cannot just go to that kind of
danger, you and your baby need to
survive.
Me: I will leave
Naye: You cannot.
I sighed.
She's also adding to my
frustrations
Zandy: I say you let these men go
and they'll take care of
everything
Me: He needs me too! I cannot
watch them leave. He is expecting
me to be there when they save
him. He needs me
Zandy: The baby needs you to
Me: Take this baby out
Them: What!!!
Lubah: You must be crazy
When did they get here? I don't
even know when I concluded to
that decision but my mind was
made up. I wanted to leave, the
baby is holding me back. The baby
will be safe if she's not with me
when I leave. Therefore we're all
safe.
Naye: That's dangerous. That
could put the baby at a huge risk.
The baby hasn't fully formed yet,
you are putting her in a risk of
dying. Plus the hospital won't just
allow you to walk in and take the
baby out. There's a procedure for
that.
Me: You're a doctor and you'll make
a plan. Athi owns hospitals and so
do you. No one will ask you any
questions. You have good machines
that help support a baby born
prematurely. The baby will stay in
those machines while I go save
her father.
Lubah: Can I have a word with
you privately Nosipho?
Belinda: Why? We all know what's
going on
Lubah just looked at her and she
didn't speak anymore. I stood up
and followed him outside. He
literally made me sit down at the
car park. I won't even be able to
stand up from here.
Lubah: You're one crazy and brave
woman. Not only are you crazy and
brave, you're loving. You have this
thing that attracts us men very
easily. I've been married for years
now, I won't say I've never
cheated because my friends and I
have done shit before. But this is
the first time I'm so highly
attracted to a woman since I
met my wife. I hate that I'm
even betraying her, I know I
didn't cheat but having feelings
for someone else is just plain damn
cheating to. What's worse is that
I will not and will never do
anything about these feelings.
Maybe its just a mere attraction
because of this very attractive
personality. You're loving, I know
you love Kwanele with all your
heart. Everyone can see that, you
have unconditional love. You've
forgotten what he did to you.
What he did to your unborn baby,
you're even willing to put the
same babies life at risk because
of him. If that isn't crazy love
than I don't know what tye of
obsession is it. But that man is
lucky to have you. You're a smart
woman, when you say you'll do
something I know you do it. I
just want you to reconsider your
decision because you have a life
inside of you, a life depending on
you. A life that was a miracle,
that child shouldn't have survived
from that poison but she did. The
time and effort you put into going
to train so you can be able to
raise if she's blind. You're
throwing all that way? Say you've
took the baby out, she dies, you
go rescue Kwanele? When you're
back here and life is back to
normal, how will you feel about
this decision? How will you look at
him and not think of the big
sacrifice you made for him? What
if what you guys have doesnt
work? I mean two people can love
each other but they are just not
good together because of the
hurt they've put each other
through. You will have regrets of
your decision and it will haunt you
for the rest of your life.
Me: You're only looking at the
negatives of my decision
Lubah: There's nothing positive
about your decision. Say the baby
survives, she'll have many
complications as she grows, you
will keep regretting it. Maybe
she'll end up being blind when she
shouldn't have. You'll have
yourself to blame because her
eyesight didn't fully develop
because of the stupid decision you
made.
Me: I'm still not changing my
mind.
Lubah: Think.
Hack damn was I thinking about
everything he just said. Did he
have to say all the right things
and make so much sense? This
thing of taking decisions based on
your temporary feelings isn't good
at all. Was I really going to do
this? Is my love for Kwanele this
much? Am I willing to take such
a huge risk? Is this how far I'd
go just for Kwanele? Would he go
this far for me too? What would
he do if he was in my shoes? Who
do I choose? Is it my baby over
Kwanele or Kwanele over my
baby? What do I do?
These are all the questions I
have in my head. These are the
questions I have no answers to.
Tough decisions
They are just the worst.
And I seem to make very drastic
decisions when I need to think
carefully. I'm glad to have such
people in my life. God knows what
I would've done if I was on my
own.
Lubah: Let's go now
He smiled.
I don't like this sudden trend of
attracting married men. I'm no
home wrecker so whatever spark
I have needs to go. He helped me
up and we went inside the house.
Me: I need to do a scan first.
Naye: Follow me
I followed her.
Me: Why do you have hospital
equipments in your house?
Naye: For such emergencies
Me: And why are you all here?
Athi: We don't know if this is
goodbye to baby piggy
Me: Really?
I rolled my eyes. He is kinda
stupid or is he a clown?
The heartbeat.
It was so loud it got me crying. I
closed my eyes and I heard a few
sniffs.
Why the fuck are they crying?
They are not the pregnant ones
nor do they have to make such a
huge decison.
Naye: Open your eyes and see your
beautiful creatures
Creatures? What is she on about?
I opened my eyes.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to just die
Me: Are those two babies?
Naye: Yes you're having two
babies.
Menzi: There's no way you're
killing two kids.
Me: Fuck you
Vusi: So it means we are having
piglets!!
He should do some research,
maybe he is Athi's long lost son.
Things just got worse.
I don't even know how to feel, I
don't even know what to say.
I am defeated

Insert 50
I don't even know where to begin.
I don't even know what to say I
feel about finding out about
having twins. That just sends me
10steps back. I cannot put my
children's life at risk. I have two
lives breathing inside of me, lives
depending inside of me and I have
to carry them full term. I cannot
put them in any danger at all. I
went downstairs for breakfast
after doing my morning hygiene
routine.
Me: Morning
They greeted back.
We slept at the royal palace, it
got too late for us to travel back
to our house, well that was the
Queens excuse. I just think she
wanted to keep an eye on me. We
had breakfast in silence it was
awkward but comfortable silence.
Me: I've made a decision.
Everyone just stopped eating and
looked at me.
Me: I won't harm my babies. I'll
let you handle everything.
Menzi: Good decision. Thank you
Me: One thing I won't do is wait
for 4 days, you need to find a way
to get to Cuba as soon as
tonight. I know you know people
in high places and you can arrange
something. I need you to leave as
soon as possible, we do not have
any time at all. He could be in
serious danger and can die any
time.
Mpho: Phelo, I'm sure there's
something you we can do?
Phelo: I'll make a few calls.
She stood up and went to the
lounge while she was on her
phone.
Nkosi: Let's go, we have alot to
do.
Phila: Danver and Siqalo, you'll
drive the kids back to Durban.
Them: Yes father
They were instructed on what to
do when they get to Durban and
they knew where the safe houses
are and how to enter. I guess all
the kids in this family know what
goes on and they know the ins and
outs of this business. I guess
every family has an empire and
legacy to build and leave for their
next generation. Just like what
Kwanele and I will do for these
kids. I'm afraid, I'm afraid if he
will even want them. I mean, he
didn't want anything to do with
one child, how much more hatred
will he have when he hears I'm
carrying two kids? Will he come
back with a change of heart? I
hope he does.
Funeka: I have to tell the
wedding planner to postpone the
wedding
Me: No, no don't do that. Your
wedding will go on as it's supposed
to. In a week Kwanele will be back
and we will have your blissful
wedding. We still need to prepare
Buhles wedding, we can't have
anymore delays
Funeka: But this is more
important
Me: It will all work out, trust me.
Do not postpone the wedding
Simi: I agree. When Kwanele is
back, the media will find out one
way or the other. And it will be
dramatic, we need your wedding to
be the top story so we can
atleast cover up his return.
We all agreed with Simi. All the
men left and so did the children,
I'm not even that older than
them but I call them children.
Anyways, I'm older than most so
whatever.
Emihle: Mom, we are also leaving.
I'm tired of being in these royal
walls. I need to leave
Naye: You're never home my
princess
Emihle: I grew up mom.
We said our goodbyes and went
back to our house. The mood was
dull and quiet, we just all sat at
the lounge and watched a movie.
Buhle: Menzi says they are
leaving for Joburg, apparently
they've found a flight available
there.
Me: Atleast there's some
progress. How long does it take to
get to Cuba?
Simi: Maybe a day or two.
Me: I'm going to sleep.
I wished I could just sleep and
wake up when they say they've
found Kwanele. I wish there was
a way to speed up this entire
process.
A week later
Funny how I never noticed how
days turned into weeks and
months turned into finishing a
year. Ever since Kwanele passed
on, I never even kept track of
what day it is, what week it is
nor what month it is. I've only
paid attention to the last days of
this year because they were
torturous. I was waiting in
agony. Waiting for just one little
sign.
Simi: It's new years eve and we
have no alcohol, we're just sober
and dull.
Me: I wish I could gulp on alcohol.
I need to be drunk, the more
sober I am is the more crazy I
get. I cannot wait any longer
Funeka: I'm supposed to be
getting married today, how will I
get married when I don't even
know where my husband is?
Buhle: I hope they are alive. It's
been too long.
Bee: We've been through this
before, even worse. They are
alive, that I can assure you.
The mothers decided to come over
to our house and wait with us.
Emihle kept on laughing at how
each of us are sitting anxiously
and waiting on our men while her
and Khetho are very much single
and waiting on other women's
men.
The men have left for a week, no
messages, no calls, no emails. Just
nothing from them at all. We
have been waiting and waiting, I
have lost all hope. I just pray
that atleast 5 of them come back
alive. And my heart has accepted
that Kwanele isn't one of those
men. The time I heard his voice
he sounded like a man who was
near his last days. If they
haven't found him till this day, he
is dead.
Me: Let's go do some grocery
shopping, I just want to get out
of the house.
I stood up and dropped a plate. I
forgot I had a plate on my
thighs.
Ntombi: The forever clumsy
Nosipho Bilose.
Me: Ndiyeke wena tuu( Leave me
alone)
They laughed at me and we
youngsters left. When we got to
the mall I regretted the decision
I made, I just didn't even want
to be around people anymore. I
didn't say anything because I
didn't want to seem like a spoilt
brat. I'm the one who said we
should come here so I had to suck
it up.
Maybe I should have said we
should go to the park. That
would've been better.
Me: I want some Ice cream.
Khetho: Let's go get it while they
pay up here. We left and went to
the ice cream shop.
Khetho: Hi, may I have 7 ice
creams, 6 with chocolate and
vanilla scoops. And one with
blueberry and hazelnut scoop.
Guy: Make it two blueberry and
hazelnut.
We turned and looked at this guy
who just added himself in our
order.
Geez! He was fine.
A handsome dark man, beautifully
trimmed beard and big brown
eyes. He had a very visible adams
apple and he blinked alot. The lady
gave us our ice cream
Him: I'll pay for those.
He paid and we were just still
silent. We were both just in awe.
He is very attractive, for a
moment there I forgot about all
my troubles.
Him: That belongs to me and
thank you for letting me order
with you
Me: We didn't have much of a
choice and thank you for paying.
He nodded and was looking at
Khetho. This girl is so silent, why
isn't she saying even one word. I
mean, the guy is eyeing her! I hit
her arm and she snapped out of
the world she was daydreaming in.
She cleared her throat and still
didn't say anything.
Him: My name is Zinga
Mthethwa, and you are?
Me: Nosipho Bilose
We both looked at Khetho who
seemed so zoned out. My friend is
suddenly mute
Me: And she is Khethokuhle
Gumede.
Zinga: She cannot speak?
Me: She can but she gets a bit
shy sometimes so it makes her a
bit mute.
Zinga: Well it was good to meet
you both. I would love to hear her
speak and get to know her more
but she seems a bit
uncomfortable so I don't want to
scare her off.
Me: I know she'll regret reacting
this way as soon as you leave so
give me your number and she'll
contact you.
Zinga: That sounds like a plan.
He gave me his contact detail
card and we said our goodbyes.
Me: Mmmh, Zinga Mthethwa, he
is cute nhe?
Khetho: And I embarrassed
myself and behaved like a dummy.
Me: You're such an
embarrassment. Anyways you'll
call him right?
Khetho: Hell no! After that
embarrassing moment, I don't
think so. I might just even
freeze before I even say hello.
The girls met with us at the
parking lot and took their ice
creams. I told them what
happened and they laughed at
Khetho. It was safe to say she
was smitten. As soon as we drove
in our yard it all just came back.
Atleast I got to escape my
troubles for a while. We unpacked
the groceries and they cooked. I
got a call from my mother
Me: Mommabear
Mom: My one and only, how is the
baby?
Me: Babies you mean
She screamed so loudly I'm sure
my eardrums got blocked.
Me: Mother, relax! Woah.
Mom: I'm so happy! I'm so happy
for you. What a great new years
gift! I'll tell your father, he's in a
meeting.
Me: Where are you?
Mom: England
Me: Wadla griza! Have a good day
We spoke for a while and we said
our goodbyes.
Buhle: We have no fireworks, its
really a dull day.
Phelo: I'm scared of fireworks so
I'm happy.
Me: So boring
We had a little conversation about
our childhood new years eve
memories. We all had crazy stories
to share. It was getting really
late and we dished up and ate.
The plan was just to chill and
watch movies all night.
Zandy: My water just broke.
Here goes all the plans we made.
She started breathing heavily
and walked up and down.
Me: Is it painful?
She nodded.
I was getting a bit freaked out
Okay, I was getting scared.
She screamed. What do I do? Am
I even ready for this? She was
sweating, this woman was fine a
few minutes ago. And where are
these ladies!
Me: It could help if you got ready
a bit quicker! I think she's just
going to pop on the floor
They laughed and they were
ready. We drove off to the
hospital, I wanted to stay behind
because I was damn freaked out
about all this.
Me: Are we getting close? She's
screaming way too much and I
think she's in pain
Ntoko: This will be you in just a
few months. You should be
getting ready
Me: I don't think I want to give
birth. Especially since it will be
double the pain. How did you give
birth to four kids at the same
time? I don't think I would've
handled so much pain
Siya: It was the most painful
experience of my life.
Zandy: Can you all just shut up
and get this baby out!!! Mpho,
where the fuck is he!!! I'm going
to kill that man! I will kill him.
Siya: It's not the first time we
hear those words.
They were so chilled it scared me.
I didn't even want to be in the
same car as them but they said I
should watch what I'll go
through. I think I'm
traumatized already.
Yes I am.
We finally got to the hospital and
she was taken to a private ward.
Apparently Naye will help her
deliver the baby. We were sitting
in the waiting room.
Khetho: It's almost midnight
Me: And you should call Zinga
She laughed. Little did she know
that I was dialing the number
already and I put it on loud speak
"Zinga Mthethwa speaking
hello?"- Such a nice hoarse voice.
"Hi Zinga, it's Nosipho. Khetho
wanted to call but she was just
shy. She's right here with me."- I
responded
"Hi"- that's all Khetho said! Really
this girl is something else.
He laughed a little and said Hi
too. I gave her my phone and she
took it off speaker and finally
spoke to the guy. She was
blushing throughout the call and
we kept on laughing at her. She
jumped when she ended the call
Emihle: And?
Khetho: I gave him my number
Me: And?
Khetho: That's it.
Wow!
Atleast there's a little bit of
progress. I stood up and looked at
the window. It was just a few
minutes away till the 1st day of
the new year. I looked at the
beautiful fireworks that cracked
as it was time for a new day and
a new year
Simi: Its a new year ladies. New
beginnings
Naye walked in
Naye: And a new baby boy.
We cheered and she went back to
the ward. She just came to tell
us. We waited for a while until
these men came budging in like
they were being chased by lions.
My heart skipped a beat.
My knees felt weak.
My eyes started tearing up.
They all looked like a mess. They
were all here but someone was
missing. I looked around for my
blind man. He wasn't amongst
them. They were silent and they
looked down.
Mpho: Where is Zandy?
Buhle took him to the ward
where Zandy is. I was still
standing there frozen, none of
them were saying anything. None
of them were looking at me
Me: Menzi? Menzi where is
Kwanele?
They were silent.
I began to cry.
Lwazi: We're sorry Nosipho
Me: Speak!! Damn it! Where is he?
Lubah: Calm down
I gave him a death stare.
Ntethe: He is here. But he is
unconscious and they are putting
him in the ICU. He is in a bad and
critical condition
Me: How bad is it?
Menzi: He can die at anytime.

Insert 51
I looked at him
He seemed to be at peace, he
seemed like he was already a dead
man. He didn't look like the man I
fell inlove with. He's face was so
dry, he had cracks, scars and a
very untidy and dirty beard. I
wiped his face with a warm
towel. I was careful not to hurt
him. They told me he had wounds
all over his body. After being
satisfied that he's face looks a
bit more decent, I removed the
blanket he had over him and the
robe he was in.
"What did they do to you
buttercup?" I whispered with a
little tear falling. I wiped it off
and continued with what I was
doing. He had burns, some were
old and some were still fresh. He's
appointed nurses wanted to it
themselves but I didn't allow
them. I'll take care of my own
man.
Not just anyone is allowed in here,
even I wasn't. I had to threaten
my way into getting in here. The
nurses are special agents who
work closely in the force, that's
what I was told. People cannot
know that he is alive and where
he is being kept.
Last night, I couldn't even sleep.
I wanted to be with him and hold
his hand. A hand that seems to
have lost its life. It's dry, with
white cracks and it looks old. He's
entire body looked like a mess. I
lotioned him with Vaseline and Vix
rub. It stings a bit but I doubt
he will feel the pain. They say
he's been out for 3days. I didn't
ask what happened and how it all
went. I was just grateful that
he was here. If he dies, he'll die in
peace. He'll die in my arms and
atleast we'll have a real body to
bury and I might accept it than
the last time.
No
He won't die. He has to wake up.
He has alot to live for. We had no
time together and now, God is
giving us a chance. Another
chance to make the best of
memories with the time we have.
"May I come in?"
I looked behind me and it was
Menzi. I smiled.
Menzi: He's going to be okay. I
can feel it
Me: Really now?
Menzi: This is my twin so I know
he'll wake up and say something
stupid or arrogant
Me: Or he could just make a
demand.
Menzi: Or that.
We laughed and he held his
brother's hand. He was really not
coping with seeing his brother
this way. He had tears all over
his eyes.
Menzi: I couldn't protect him, I
failed my brother. I failed my role
as a bigger brother
Me: You've protected your brother
all your life. You've sacrificed living
your own life and living it with
him and being his right hand man
for all your life. You thought he
was dead, you couldn't protect him
because we all thought he was
dead. Don't blame yourself for
things you couldnt control.
Menzi: I should've trusted your
instinct when you said he isn't
dead. I shouldn't have accepted
his death so easily.
Me: That is all in the past now
Menzi. You need to focus on the
present. Focus on him waking up
and getting back on his feet. Stop
beating yourself up for things we
had no control over.
He nodded and he left. He is really
feeling bad and he is blaming
himself but it's not his fault. I
know that Kwanele would say so
too. I sat down because these
babies were kicking me so much, it
was like they were having a
soccer match. After a few
minutes they were calm and I
stepped out leaving Funeka with
her brother while I went to see
Sis Zandy's baby. He was a cute
little boy, looked too much like he's
father.
Me: What's his name?
Zandy: He's father named him
Lerumo.
Me: You don't seem too happy
about that
She rolled her eyes and explained
how she felt as if its an old name.
I didn't even know what it meant
so I wasn't even going to
comment. She named him
Thabang and she had it written
as his first name, apparently
Mpho doesn't know about that. I
foresee a world war 3. I wonder
what I'll name my kids, I don't
even know where to start looking
for names maybe I should search
for some. I don't think I'll be
good a baby naming. I stayed
with them for a while and then I
asked Vusi to take me home. I
had to do some packing. I know
Kwanele will be safe here because
all his security detail is with him
as they are preparing for him to
be moved from Langelihle to
Durban. I hoped Funeka had left
already because we cannot have a
late bride, the wedding will take
place tonight in Durban, I didn't
think it would all be able to
happen on time and everything
will be ready but with the right
team and good money, everything
is possible.
Vusi: Is this all you're taking?
Me: Yes, I have lots of clothes in
the apartment in Durban.
He nodded and put my bag in the
car boot and we went to the
airport. When we boarded on the
plane Kwanele was already safely
strapped in and all the machinery
was well put. It took a lot of
convincing and making demands for
me to get to fly with him,I was
supposed to be driven by Simi. I
covered myself up and got some
sleep. I needed to rest, I've been
restless for the past days.
Atleast now I can close my eyes
and rest.
I was woken up by Vusi telling me
that we've arrived. I was so
asleep I didn't even hear us land
nor do I even remember being
taken out of the plane to the car
and to my house.
Me: Where is Kwanele?
Vusi: He is well taken care off.
Don't worry about him. You need
to get ready for the wedding. The
ladies are already inside
I nodded and went inside the
house. It was a busy place. Why
are all these people here? Its a
wedding, I've forgotten. They will
use the outside garden as for the
matrimonial ceremony. And
Kwanele is here? I hope no one
knows he's here, I don't want
anyone knowing about him being
here. Especially the media. I went
to take a shower and I got
dressed in an ugly maternal dress.
I looked for my friends and found
them looking very beautiful
Ntombi: And you? You didn't get
the memo? Why do you look like an
old hag when you should be
dressed?
Me: I thought you guys aren't
dressed as yet. I was just still
looking for you and anyways where
is my dress and the bride?
Simi: There's your dress and the
bride is with her mother. We don't
have much time, don't take too
long. I nodded and went to my
room. There was a young lady
sitting there waiting for me. Why
is she in my room? She stood up
when she saw me
Her: Hi I'm Mbali, your make up
artist. Vusi said I should wait for
you here.
Me: Oh okay.
I smiled and got dressed then
put a gown on. She worked her
magic on me and I looked very
beautiful.
Me: Thank you very much Mbali.
She nodded and left. I looked at
myself one more time. I looked
beautiful, even after everything
I've been through I'm still able
to smile and be beautiful. I have
to put a brave face on and
pretend that all is well. The
media will be all over so I have to
be at my best. I went downstairs
and looked for Vusi. It was even
better because I found me with
Kwenzo and Menzi.
Me: Gentlemen, you look great
Them: So do you
Kwenzo: My brother chose well.
Me: Speaking of your brother, I
want to see him.
Menzi: I don't think that's a good
idea. We should get going, the
wedding will start soon
Me: The wedding starts in an
hour and a half. I want to see
him, now.
They shook their heads and lead
the way. Why did they even say no
in the first place because they
would've ended up saying yes
anyways? I've got used to this
habit of getting everything I
want, the habit of making
demands and they happen. It's a
bad habit, but it works in
situations where it really needs to
work. I've been in this house for
a year and a few months, but the
place they were taking me right
now, I had no idea it even existed.
It felt like I was in another
place. We were underground, this
house has an underground house.
Wonders will never stop.
Me: Wow
It was even bigger and better
underground. I think I fell more
inlove with the underground
house.
Vusi: Get in, well wait here.
There were even bodyguards and
some of his agents who are
assigned to take care of him.
Me: May you give us some space?
They nodded and left besides the
bodyguards
Me: And then?
Bodyguard: We were told not to
leave him here so we're sticking
to that Madam.
They know who I am. I won't
fight them at all. I fixed up the
blanket and adjusted his pillow a
bit. I sat next to him and held his
hand. I had alot I wanted to say
but it all just couldn't come out.
All I had was tears and they
were messing up my make up. I
stayed just looking at him and
holding his hands.
"I forgive you"- Thats all I could
say. That just somes up
everything I wanted to say. I
always said I forgive but I never
got the chance to tell him. I know
right now he probably cannot even
hear me but this is when I got
the courage to tell him. I know
its stupid, when you talk to
someone that person needs to be
conscious. But I just needed to let
it out. I doubt I'll even be able to
tell him when he is awake. It
needed to happen in this moment.
In this moment I felt a little
weight being removed from my
shoulders. I say a little weight
because I'm still longing for an
apology. I know I've forgiven
him, deep down I really have but
a part of me needs to hear the
word's I am sorry. I kissed his
forehead and made my way out.
Me: We can leave
Vusi: I think I need to call Mbali
again
I laughed at him and indeed he
called Mbali again and she fixed
my messed up make up.
Me: Kwenzo, where is Asemahle?
The way he blushed. I didn't even
think that they would last that
long. He told me he will fetch her
before the wedding starts.
Kwenzo: I've been thinking about
taking her out of the shelter.
Me: And where are you going to
take her?
Kwenzo: I'll rent an apartment
for her, I won't play vat and set.
I just want her to be
comfortable and have her own
space. I'm just worried she'll turn
my offer down, she loves staying
at the shelter plus she doesnt
like it when I do things for her.
Me: That's right. She's not
someone who you can shower with
money and flashy things. But you
can give it a try and if she says
no, she says no. Don't try changing
her mind.
He nodded and we went to the
wedding venue. Everything was
beautifully decorated and it looked
stunning. You wouldn't even tell
that this is just the backyard of
my house. What made it more
beautiful was that it was in the
dark, the lights sparkled very
perfectly. I sat next to MaMzobe
Me: Sawbona Ma
MaMzobe: Hello my daughter, you
look beautiful.
Me: Thank you Ma and you look
beautiful too. How have you been?
MaMzobe: I'm good and I'm
happy. I feel very happy, my
daughter is getting married. It's
a very good day and I feel very
blessed.
Me: I'm sure you must be proud
of her and you as a parent.
MaMzobe: Yes I am. Its
moments like these that we'll
forever cherish as parents. You'll
know once you have your little
one's. How I wish Kwanele was
alive to see his little sister get
married. He would've been so
happy.
She seemed a bit sad after saying
that. She doesn't know doesn't
she? I felt guilty about knowing
he is alive and keeping it from her
but no one is supposed to know.
I just smiled and listened to some
of the greatest moments of
parenting she had. It made me
feel nervous but I was excited. I
was ready to experience it all and
be the best parent I can be to
my babies. What scares me is
that it's my first time and I'll
have to start learing with two
babies. It will be double the
pressure and a much greater
experience.
The paino started playing and the
groomsmen and the groom came
in. They all looked very handsome,
Ntethe's best man was his
brother, Khulekani. Vusi, Menzi,
Lwazi and Kwenzo were his
groomsmen. The bridesmaids
walked and damn did my girls kill
it! They all looked very beautiful.
The maid of honour was Thando,
it took alot of begging and
convincing for her to actually
agree. I was supposed to be a
bridesmaid too but I declined, I
didn't want to look all big and
bloated while they all look sexy. We
all stood up and welcomed the
bride. She was very beautiful, I
had tears that fell uncontrollably.
To say she was stunning or
beautiful is just an
understatement. She was
wearing a knee length dress, we
were all against her decision but
she proved us wrong. She knew
what she wanted and it suited
her. It looked more beautiful
than we thought it would. The
look on Ntethelelo's face is
priceless. He looked like she was
the only person in this room. He's
eyes were focused on her and she
was his whole world. He cried, he
literally cried. It was just too
cute. The wedding proceeded and
it was a beautiful ceremony. It
was now time for them to say
their vows and they had written
their own.
Funeka: I don't have much to say
but I want to thank you for
loving me. For not giving up on me
and taking your time with me.
This man asked me out for an
entire year, I kept on rejecting
him countless times but he never
gave up. Till this day I don't
know even know how it happened,
but I fell inlove with you and
from that day my heart loved
you, it belonged to you and it will
forever be yours. We've had many
trails and tribulations. So many
came from my side but you were
patient and for that I thank you.
I love you and I will always do. I
promise to be there for you,
assist you and be the wife that
you need me to be and be the best
wife that I can be.
Ntethe: The first time I saw
you, my heart skipped a beat. My
heart was literally racing and my
palms were sweating. I didn't
know why I felt that way, but I
slowly realized that the more I
saw you it kept on happening. I
knew then that I was falling in
love with you. What scared me
the most was that your brothers
are one of my best friends. I
knew they'd want to slaughter
me but I was ready for
everything that comes my way.
The challenges came and you were
worth fighting for. I thank you
for loving me when no one else
could love this complicated
creature. For taking care of my
heart and my soul. I love you
They kissed and we laughed
because it wasn't even time for
them to kiss yet. I was disturbed
by Lwazi patting me on the
shoulder. Isn't he supposed to be
seated with the groomsmen?
Me: What is it?
Lwazi: You need to come with me,
it's urgent
Me: But the wedding...
He cut me off and grabbed me.
Lwazi: Walk, I don't want to
cause a scene nor have journalists
paying attention to you. Lets
start by the kitchen and pretend
as if you're checking up on the
caterers.
I nodded and did as he instructed.
After that we walked out of the
kitchen
Me: Where are we going?
Lwazi: The basement.
With him just mentioning that, it
made me feel scared.
Me: What is wrong with Kwanele?
He ignored me. We got to the
basement and my knees felt weak.
He is alive
He is awake.
But he wasn't okay.
He was screaming, kicking and
shouting like a mad person. The
bodyguards tried holding him down
but he was very strong
Lwazi: Strap him
Me: What? No wait
Lwazi: He is not in his mental
normal sense, he is harmful.
He kept on screaming for help.
Telling them to stop hurting him,
it hurts. He was pleading that
they should just kill him instead. I
just cried I couldn't bare the
sight of him
Kwanele: Don't kill her! Rather you
kill me! Aaaaaah!!! It burns!!
He screamed. And I was just
standing there watching as they
tried to strap him. It was hard
but they succeeded.
Kwanele: Nosipho!!!! Nosipho!!!!!
Lwazi: He's been screaming out
your name. That's why I called
you
I nodded.
I didn't even know what to do. I
just walked closer to him. He was
sweating, he was trying to run
away. He's eyes were opened and
they were so red. I stepped closer
with a wet warm towel.
Me: Kwanele
He screamed. He screamed more
than he did the last time. I was
shocked and I stepped back a bit
Lwazi: Be careful
Me: He won't harm me
That's what I was telling myself
but I wasn't too sure. I was
scared.
I put my hand on his forehead
and sang a sweet melody for him.
Me: Pickle, its Buttercup.
He closed his eyes and I wiped off
his sweat.
Kwanele: They are here
Buttercup, run away! Run away
before they hurt you!
Me: Sssshh, calm down. Calm
down, I'm here now. You're home
and you're safe Kwanele.
He didn't seem to be listening, he
was just panicking.
Me: What did they do to you?
Nurse: We have an injection that
will sedate him and he will calm
down
Me: No, don't. I don't want any
chemicals which will twist his
mind even more. He will calm down.
Give us space
They left but the bodyguards
didn't and Lwazi also stayed. He
kept calming down a bit and
whsipering things I couldn't even
hear
Me: I'm here now babe, I'm here.
Get some rest Nondaba wami.
He calmed down.
I sat next to him and held his
hand while I sang. He was slowly
drifting to sleep and his body was
rested.
Me: What did they do to you my
love? I will help you and you will
be okay. You need to be okay for
your kids and for us. Your sister is
getting married as we speak, your
mom wishes you were there. I do
too, maybe we would be getting
married too, who knows? I miss
you and I'm happy you're alive.
I'll help you get back to the same
person you were. I'll help you get
back on your feet. I love you my
Pickle. And I need you.
The babies kicked and I laughed
and put his hand on my stomach.
I wasn't even sure it he felt it,
he seemed fast asleep. I looked
at him and kissed his forehead
Me: Make sure you call me again
when he wakes up. I need to be
by his side.
They nodded and we left with
Lwazi. My heart wanted to be
with him at all times but I had
to be at the wedding to show
face and not let anyone suspect
anything and I needed to support
my friends and represent the
both of us. My mind couldn't get
away from thinking about him. I
needed to be with him, holding his
hand and making him feel better.
Simi: Where have you been? You
missed out on the best part
Me: I needed to do some things.
She nodded. She understood what
I meant and held my hand. Its
always good to have good and
supportive friends. They become
your pillars of strength. I have
to be Kwaneles pillar of strength,
I have to be Kwaneles everything
as he is my everything.

Insert 52
It’s been a week.
A sad and exhausting week.
Physically, mentally and
emotionally
I'm exhausted.
I woke up and took a shower. It
was a quick two minute shower, I
hardly ever do anything lately. It
hard to barely even move, taking
a shower feels like I'm building a
mansion. I even moved to a room
downstairs because I cannot walk
up and down these stairs
anymore. After dressing up I
went to the kitchen and Emihle
was making breakfast
Me: I'm starving! And it smells so
good in here
Emihle: I woke up and made you
your current favorite.
My current favourite food is
chocolate chip pancakes with
eggs. I know it's weird but it's
what these babies want so they
have to be fed. My everyday snack
is apples, they must be chopped
and dipped into water. She dished
up for me and I dug in. While I
was eating, Menzi barged in.
Menzi: Its yet another day
That was his way of greeting us
lately. The situation with his
brother is draining him. Its
draining all of us. Seeing him the
way he has been the past week is
heart breaking. He recovers on
some days and you have hope, but
when you one step forward, you
turn 15steps back and he is the
way he was before. I have no
idea what to do anymore. The
doctors said he is traumatized,
Its even deeper because he is a
blind person, he cannot see other
things and he cannot capture
other memories to be buried in his
head and forget the one's he has
adapted to. It will take a while
for him to be able to forget and
re-imagine how he's life was
before the torture.
Menzi looked at my food and shook
his head. He always judges what
I eat. He sat down and Emihle
dished up for him
Me: Please give me some bacon
Menzi?
Menzi: You always bully me when
I eat.
He gave me and he left. He's so
stingy.
The others came and we had
breakfast together. Funeka and
Ntethe didn't go to their
honeymoon, they didn't want to
leave while Kwanele is in this
condition. I told them to leave
but they didn't want to so they
stayed.
Me: Did he sleep last night?
Vusi: No, he was up all night just
talking and screaming
Me: He still says they want to kill
me?
Vusi: Yes
I nodded.
It all just hurts. It hurts so
much but we all have to be
strong, mostly we have to be
strong for him.
Simi: We should go check up on him
when we're done here. Finish up
Buhle: I have a meeting to
attend with Khetho so we'll join
you afterwards. Nosi, I'll need you
to email me your details as well as
those documents for the public
relations department of TWD.
Emihle, I need your banking
details and that's it.
Menzi: Will you go to the depot?
Khetho: No, I have to be
somewhere after the meeting.
Menzi: Where?
Khetho: Somewhere.
Menzi: That place doesnt have a
name?
Thando: She's going on a date.
The look on Menzi's face. I
wanted to laugh but we were all
just silent waiting for his reply.
Menzi: You can't be going on
dates, we're not safe. This isn't
the right time.
Khetho: I can go on dates plus
nothing will happen. Even if
something happens, I'll know how
to protect myself until you come
to rescue me, right Mr Hero?
She was so sarcastic and she
rolled her eyes. Menzi did really
use a lame excuse.
Buhle: Is it Zinga?
They way she smiled you could tell
she was smitten. She nodded
Me: Mmmmmh love is in the air.
Funeka: Why wasn't he at the
wedding?
Khetho: I was scared to ask him
to come.
Buhle: No worries, he'll be there
for my wedding as your plus one.
Who knows, he might just propose
Khetho: Okay let's not get ahead
of ourselves, it's just a date.
Menzi clicked his tongue and
continued eating. He should
honestly just stop this, it's
getting boring. He has a fiance
for crying out loud. Buhle and
Khetho left then we headed to
the basement. He wasn't
strapped nor was he even
screaming or talking. He was just
silent. I looked at Lwazi and he
shrugged. We went closer to him
and he was just silent with his
eyes opened. If he could see you'd
say he's looking at the ceiling.
He's nurses weren't there it was
just the bodyguards. I stood next
to him and Ntombi was next to
me.
Ntombi: Kwanele, it's Ntombi.
How are you today? We just came
to keep you company, we're also
bored and just missing you so
much. Your Buttercup here looks
so ugly but I know you'd say she's
beautiful.
He closed his eyes
And opened them again. I don't
know how it happened or when it
happened but he's hands were on
my neck strangling me.
Me:Mbuso!!!
I called out as he let me go while
Menzi was punching him. I fell on
the floor and tried breathing.
Ntombi: Are you okay? Let me
help you sit up. I nodded with
tears filled in my eyes, my vision
was even blur due to the tears.
He was screaming and howling like
a beast.
Me: What is happening?
Doctor: I need you all to step out.
I felt some pain, it feels like I've
just peed on myself. I cried
Me: What is happening!
Funeka: I think your water just
broke
Me: What do you mean? Oh Lord!
I'm giving birth! Kwanele!!!!
Why am I calling him?
I took a deep breath.
No, this is painful.
Me: The babies bags are in my
closet and everything I'll need is
there.
Ntombi: Vusi, carry her to the car
while I go fetch these things
Lwazi: I'll help you
Menzi: I'll stay behind with
Kwanele, you all go and make sure
she and the babies are okay.
Me: I don't want to leave him like
this
Menzi: You have to think of the
babies
It happens again. I choose my
babies over him.
They carried me to the car and I
was crying silently. I was in pain
but I didn't have the energy to
scream. All I was thinking about
was Kwanele and the state I
was leaving him in.
I was thinking about what was
about to happen, I'm going to
give birth. Two babies will come
out of my virgina. Honestly I'm
just not ready. I've watched
some video's of people giving birth
and they were all scary and
disgusting. Now it is about to
happen to me. I feel so
overwhelmed
Ntethe: You're too silent for
someone who is about to give
birth, are you okay?
Me: No I'm in pain and I need to
get these babies out of me. He
laughed at me and continued
driving.
Me: Drive a bit faster please.
He did as I said. My legs were
feeling numb and the pain was
becoming unbearable. We arrived
at the hospital and I was put in
a wheelchair and taken to a ward.
I was the only one in there and
the way it was set up, I was
sure this was a private ward
Me: Why am I in a private ward?
Vusi: You need privacy. I don't
want the media having access to
your ward and leaking false
information and pictures.
I nodded. I still felt its
unnecessary but I understood his
reasons. The doctor came in and
did a check up on me. Isn't he
supposed to be getting these
babies out of me
Doctor: You're not ready yet
Me: What do you mean? My water
broke and I'm in deep pain, that
should tell you that I'm ready to
give birth.
He laughed at me and said he will
be back in an hour. I kept
twisting and turning, nothing was
helping. I was experiencing very
painful labour pains.
Me: I swear I'm never ever going
to have a baby. Never!
Lwazi: Relax, you still have many
heads to pop.
Me: I want some ice cream, bring
me some ice cream.
Vusi went out and came back
within two minutes
Me: That was fast
Vusi: They have ice cream at this
hospital
Me: Why?
Vusi: I don't know now eat it
before it melts.
I had my ice cream while I
listened to them telling me boring
stories but at least it distracted
me and I didn't focus much on the
pain I felt. After 5hours the
doctor still said I was not ready
to give birth yet. I was crying my
eyeballs out. I couldnt take it
anymore. I wished I was in
Kwaneles warm embrace but he is
in that basement screaming like a
mad man. He's situation just
depresses me and makes me cry
even more. He is supposed to be
here holding my hand and telling
me its going to be okay. That
we're about to welcome our little
twins to the world and everything
will be perfect. I'm still scared of
telling him that we have two
babies instead of one. I'm still
scared of the reaction I will get.
I'm hoping he accepts and loves
them but I highly doubt that is
possible. I mean, he didn't want
one baby what makes me think he
will want two? I wonder how life
will even be? What happens when
I get out of this hospital?
Kwanele is still not well. I cannot
take care of my babies and him
too. It will all just be too much.
Ouch!!
I screamed so loud, it was too
painful. I was sweating and my
knees where shaking. The doctor
came in and finally said I'm ready.
After being in six hours of labour
pains.
Doctor: Okay, I will count to
three and each time, I need you
to push.
I nodded and he counted to three
and I pushed.
This was too painful, with each
push it felt like I was loosing so
much energy and I couldn't take
it anymore. After 4 tiring pushes
I was too exhausted and I had
lost all strength.
Doctor: Push one more time, the
head near just push
Breath in
Breath out
Push!!
I heard the little scream and
something heavy being put on my
chest. I was too tired to even
see or hold the baby.
Nurse: Doctor, she's giving up.
Miss Nosipho, wake up!
I couldn't. I tried fighting and
opening my eyes but I just
couldn't do it.
#TheNextDay.
The pain I felt was excruciating.
I couldnt feel my legs and I had a
massive headache. I opened my
eyes and all I could see was
white. Am I in heaven? It can't
be, it is not my time yet.
And then I remembered, I was
at the hospital giving birth.
Where are the doctors? Where
are my kids? Why am I alone in
here?
Me: My babies!! Doctor!!!!
Ntombi and Thando came rushing
in followed by my mother and
MaMzobe. They weren't the
people I wanted to see. I wanted
to see my babies.
Me: Where are my babies!
Mom: Sssh relax, your babies are
alive and healthy.
Me: Why don't I remember giving
birth to the second twin?
Ntombi: That's because you
fainted after giving birth to the
first child and you were rushed to
the emergency room and gave
birth to the second twin through
C-section.
Me: Oh.
My heart felt at ease after
hearing that the babies were
both alive.
Me: And Kwanele?
Ntombi looked at me with her
eyes wide open. Shit! I forgot the
mothers don't know that he is
alive. My tears worked perfectly
and has good timing. I started
crying and they hugged me
MaMzobe: I wish he was still
alive, we all know he didn't want
to have a baby but all this
would've changed his mind.
Me: I also wish he was here Mah
Mom: Now stop crying and I'll go
get you your beautiful and
handsome babies. It's a boy and a
girl!! Ntombi helped me sit up
straight as my mom came with
the babies. I didn't even know
how to carry such a small baby.
She gave me the boy first
Me: Hello baby Lukhanyo Kwanele
Zondi
I heard alot of Oooh, Ncoooh, so
cutee ans I knew all my friends
where here already. Simi attacked
me with a kiss on my forehead,
they were carrying so many gifts
and food.
Menzi: Those are beautiful
names, my brothers heir is named
after him. My mom gave me the
girl and I carried them both.
Me: And the princess, baby
Luthando Kwanele Zondi.
Khetho: You're naming both of
them after their father?
Me: Yes, I read somewhere that
twins should have the same name
if not they should be both similar
or have the same sounds. I
wanted to name them both after
their father because they will
both build their fathers legacy
and he's name will forever be
known. Even after he's death, he
still lives. MaMzobe was in tears
and Gagashe was calming her
down. It was a beautiful moment
and he took his grandkids and
praised them while calling out
their clan names.
Me: Who came out first?
Vusi: It was Lukhanyo
Just then Luthando cried so much
Mom: They want to be fed
This is the part I wasn't looking
forward to. My mom wiped my
breast and I took the baby and
breastfed her. Buhle kept on
taking pictures with my camera.
Luthando kept on crying and I
tried calming her down, to make
matters worse, Lukhanyo also
just wailed and cried, he seems to
have a hoarse voice. I took the
both of them and breasfed them,
trust me it was painful and they
were heavy. All of a sudden they
were both silent and sucking on
my breasts. Lukhanyo opened his
eyes and he had beautiful brown
eyes just like me. Atleast, he has
my eyes because he looks like
Kwanele and there's no
resemblance of me. I looked at
Luthando, she had her eyes closed,
it came to my attention that
since she's been here, she's never
opened her eyes even when she
cried.
Me: My baby
Ntombi: She hasn't opened her
eyes since she was born. The
doctor did a check up on her and
she is the blind twin. He said the
eyes will open themselves up soon
but its highly possible that she
won't be able to see anything. I
wanted to cry but I couldn't cry
infront of my kids. I know they
are just a day old and don't know
anything but this is me training
myself to never cry infront of
them, to never be weak infront of
them, they should know that
their mother is a strong woman
who has never shed a tear
infront of them. I want to raise
strong warriors, strong like their
father. My blind baby girl, I don't
know how life will be for you but I
will make sure you have a good
life, I know you will always have
that void of wishing to see but
you will live a life as normal as
possible. I feel like it would've
been easier if it was a boy who
was blind, I'm familiar with living
with a blind man and Kwanele
would know how to deal with him
because he's had the experience
as a young boy. Now its a girl, its
different, Kwanele wont know as
much now its all in my hands. I
know I've been trained but it
feels like I have no clue. But I
know I will be able to do it. I
have to, these kids are depending
on me, Luthando is depending on
me and I will not let her down.
Not now, not ever. They were
both fast asleep and MaMzobe
put them in their beds while Simi
went to tell the nurses their
names and I had to fill in some
forms.
Me: When am I being discharged?
Doctor: You'll have to stay for a
day or two and then you'll be
discharged.
I nodded and he left. I ate some
food that Buhle brought while
they were chatting up a storm.
There was a knock on the door
and Zinga came in.
Silence.
Silence
Silence
He cleared his throat and
greeted. He was carrying a bunch
of roses and two gift bags. He
still looked amazingly handsome
Me: Hey! What a nice surprise
Zinga: I heard the mommy is
popping today so I decided to
show face and welcome the
babies. These are for you
Me: And I thought they were for
a special somebody, well thank you
very much, I feel so special.
He laughed and looked at Khetho
who was blushing so much.
Menzi: And you are?
Zinga: I'm sorry, I forgot to
introduce myself. My name is
Zinga Mthethwa, a friend of
Nosipho and Khetho.
Simi: So this is the famous Zinga?
I must say they weren't lying
when they said you're handsome.
You're very fine and sexy
Lwazi: Simlindile Photholo
Yerrr.
Simi: Baby, he's handsome mosc.
But don't worry, I belong to you
baby but it doesnt mean I can't
compliment fresh meat when I
see one.
Mom: Simi!
Ay this girl is just something else.
You never know what goes on in
that head of hers.
MaMzobe: It's nice to meet you
son, you may sit. Move Emihle
She laughed and moved so Zinga
could sit next to Khetho.
Me: And the date?
Khetho: You decided to give birth
so I had to cancel the date.
Me: But there's still time right
now, right Zinga?
Zinga: Yes, I'm only going back to
Langelihle later this evening.
Me: Perfect
Khetho hit my arm and I laughed
at her. I don't want her to miss
out on a good date because of me.
They stayed for a while and they
left for their date.
Simi: It's good to see her smiling
so much again.
Gagashe: Goodbye everyone,
Makoti, I'll see you and the kids
at kwaMashu.
With that said he left. What did
he mean he will see us
KwaMashu?
Me: Mah, do I have to go to
KwaMashu?
MaMzobe: Yes my child. You need
to come stay at the Zondi
household for three months and I
will be helping you with the
babies.
Me: 3months?
Mom: Yes. I will also be there for
just a week and you will be left
with MaMzobe to help you. You
need all the help you can get.
Me: Can't she stay here in durban
and help me?
MaMzobe: The babies need to be
in the souls of their ancestors.
They need to be at the Zondi
household.
I nodded. I wasn't at ease with
this. Not that I didn't want to
go but I didn't want to leave
Kwanele behind. I know I need
help with the babies but he also
needs my help. What happens
when he screams and wants me
to be near him? How will I reach
him when he is away? We talked
for a while and they decided to
leave after I showered.
Me: Menzi stay behind please I
need to talk to you
They said their goodbyes and he
stayed behind.
Menzi: What is it? And let it not
be about Khetho and that Zinga
guy
Me: You should let Khetho be and
leave her and Zinga alone. Its
none of your business
Menzi: He sees like a decent guy
Me: He is a decent guy and you
should step back and focus on your
Buhle, you're engaged remember?
He nodded.
Me: That's not what I wanted
to talk about. It's time we told
the parents that Kwanele is alive
Menzi: What? No. Mom will faint
and dad will kill us for not telling
him the moment we found out.
Plus the way he is right now, it
will kill mom. She's too soft
hearted
Me: Kwanele needs to be closer to
me, what will happen when he
starts his episodes of screaming
out my name and I'm not even
around? They want me to stay
KwaMashu, soon they'll want us
to go to Mbumbulu, I can't be
that far from Kwanele. The kids
need me and so does he. Telling
the parents will allow us to take
him with and I will be closer to
him.
Menzi: What you're saying does
make a bit of sense.
Me: Yes it does, just think about
it and tell me what you've decided
on. And do let me know before I
get discharged. How is he?
Menzi: We injected him before we
came here so he's asleep you don't
have to worry about him. Just
focus on the twins. How do you
feel knowing that Luthando is
blind?
Me: I don't know, I expected
that my baby would be born blind
or will be blind along the way but
now that it's happening it's not
as easy as I thought it would be.
It's like I wasn't prepared for
this nor was I even ready. It all
just seems unreal. But I know
we'll pull through. It just hurts
that my baby will never see my
beautiful face just like his dad.
And she won't see her uncles ugly
face
Menzi: And I'm the uncle with an
ugly face?
Me: Yes
He laughed and said goodbye. I
closed my eyes for a few seconds
and the baby cried
Me: So much for getting some
rest. I got out of the bed and
scrolled to their baby cots. In a
few minutes they were both
crying hysterically.
Me: Why do you cry at the same
time? Please cry one at a time,
please babies.
They didn't stop crying. These
babies aren't listening to me. I
carried them both and breastfed
them. After some time they both
fell asleep and I put them on
their bed. It wasn't even a
second later when Luthando
started crying again, she seems
like such a crier. They both of
them are just cry babies, I laid
her on my chest and she started
calming down.
Me: There you go, sleep peacefully
princess Kwanele, sleep peacefully.
I can't believe I'm a mother, a
mother of two, a baby boy and a
baby girl. Funny how life turns
out. About a year ago I was just
a lazy girl who was just so clumsy,
nothing I did succeeded. I was
just a hot mess of a spoilt brat
but here I am, a business woman,
a multi-millionaire and most of all
a mother of two. I know I'm
facing my difficulties in my life but
I wouldnt trade this life for
anything else. My babies are the
greatest gift of all. Welcome to
the world Lukhanyo Kwanele Zondi
and Luthando Kwanele Zondi.

Insert 53
I got discharged today. After
the three days in hell I was glad
that I was at my house, well for
a few hours. I was sleeping
getting some rest as the others
took care of the twins, it was
worth the little rest till I had to
wake up and feed them.
Buhle: You look better
Me: The little rest helped, I
needed it.
Buhle: We've packed everything
you'll need in the bhundus.
Me: Really now? Its not the
bhundus
I laughed at her and she held
Luthando while I fed Lukhanyo.
I've learnt how to feed them one
by one and not both of them at
the same time, they are both
getting used to the routine. The
day before I was discharged my
little princess opened her eyes and
they did an eyetest on her, she is
blind but atleast she can open her
eyes. Having her eyes shut all the
time was giving me stress,
atleast I get to see them and
clean them, unfortunately she
took her fathers eyes and not
mine. They didn't even take my
black skin, they decided to look like
their father. He can't even deny
them, he won't succeed.
Buhle: We'll be downstairs while
you take a shower. The parents
will be here in a few minutes.
She took them and I went to
take a bath. My stitches were
still every painful so I was
careful not to hurt myself. After
finishing up and getting dressed I
went to join the others
downstairs. Its like Lukhanyo
senses that I'm around, he just
cried so much and I took him.
I've gotten used to the crying,
the twins cry alot.
Me: Good morning
They greeted back, Emihle set up
the table. They went all out with
preparing breakfast. I sat at
the far end of the table and my
babies were next to me.
Kwenzokuhle was also with us,
Menzi was just too silent for my
liking, he is supposed to be
speaking in this so called family
meeting, he did say he would be
the one to tell the parents and
not me. His silence is creepy
though. We ate while we had a
light conversation.
Khetho: It made the tabloids,
about you giving birth to twins
but that's all the information
they have. They'll try snooping
around for more information which
they won't be able to access.
Me: No journalist should get
pictures of my babies till they are
a year old. My babies pictures will
not be posted on any social media
pages, not even their hands.
Simi: Noted.
Kwenzo: I want a full photoshoot
soon though, you need to have
pictures of every moment and
many photo albums.
Me: That's a good idea.
After having breakfast we moved
to the lounge and sat down
Gagashe: We should be on our way
home now, I have a meeting to
attend to.
Menzi: Before you leave father,
Nosipho and I have something to
tell you.
They looked at me. Why did he
mention my name? My eyes
popped
Me: We all have something to tell
you
I didn't want them to keep
looking at me only. My dad was
holding the babies, he looks too
young and handsome to be a
grandpa.
Dad: Now who will speak? What
nonsense have you kids done?
Emihle: We didn't do any nonsense
father
Kwenzo: Whatever it is, I wasn't
involved. I don't know what
they're talking about.
Indeed he had no idea, I know he
will be more angry that we didn't
tell him.
Me: Khuluma Menzi uwena
omdala(Speak Menzi, you're the
oldest)
MaMzobe: I see Kwanele taught
you how to play that you're older
card right.
We laughed a little and there was
silence.
Menzi: Please stand up and follow
me.
They stood up and followed him
while we followed behind them.
Funeka: I think he should've told
them first.
Me: I think this is a better
approach, I don't think there's
anyway of telling them. They
should rather see it themselves.
He stood by the door and took a
deep breath. I could hear the
noises from outside that he was
awake and not okay.
Menzi opened the door and they
walked in. I stood by the door, I
didn't want to facd the heat.
Silence
Silence
Silence.
MaMzobe faints.
I giggle a little remembering
what Menzi said about his
mother fainting and it really
happens. Emihle pinches me and I
realize everyone is looking at me.
Me: Sorry...
Kwenzo and Vusi attend to
MaMzobe while Gagashe is
standing there looking at his son.
Gagashe: Is my son crazy?
Doctor: No Sir he isn't.
Gagashe: Will anyone explain what
is going on here and why is my son
chained like a crazy man!!
WeMenzi, Vusumuzi, Lwazi
noNtethelelo, manyala mani lawa?
Nifihlela mina uyihlo indaba ezinje
ngendodana yami? Ubani osenenze
amadoda amakhulu nadlula mina?
Indaba ezinje azibikwa ebantwini
abadala?!(Menzi, Vusumuzi, Lwazi
and Ntethelelo, what nonsense is
this? You hide such things about
my son away from me, your
father. Who made you big men
who are higher than me? Such
matters aren't reported to
elders?)
You could see from the veins on his
face that they were in shit. We
were all in shit, Gagashe was
angry and it was evident that he
was going to beat them all up. My
mother was crying and my father
was trying to calm her down.
Funeka and Ntombi gave their
mother some water as she was
now awake and crying hysterically.
I was still just standing there
looking at everything unfold right
in my eyes. I was scared to even
move.
Gagashe: I don't have any mute
sons, start speaking!!
Vusi: Gagashe omkhulu, we were
going to tell you he is alive the
moment we fetched him from
Cuba but when we got here, we
discovered that he was not
normal and he was a bit
disturbed. We didn't want you to
see him in this condition, as you
raised us father, you told us to
deal with issues ourselves and
stop depending on you. We saw
this as fit enough for us to deal
with and tell you about him being
alive when he is well, health wise.
We didn't want to stress you
Gagashe.
Gagashe: This matter is
different! This is a serious family
matter not business issues. Tell
me, when did you find him?
Lwazi: About 2weeks ago father.
Gagashe: And he is still like this?
You boys, you are going to know
me today? Ngiyabona aningazi
okanye seningikhohliwe(I can see
you don't know me or you've
forgotten who I am)
Dad: Zondi, calm down.
Gagashe looked at my father and
he walked out. Dad gave mom the
babies and followed Gagashe.
Kwenzo: I can't believe you didn't
tell me. I mean, I understand
why you didn't tell Gagashe but
as for me? I don't know why you
didn't tell me, I'm hurt and
disappointed.
Menzi: You have school to focus on
and not such matters. Syaxolisa
mfana
He nodded. Atleast that was
easy. We still have MaMzobe to
deal with. She stood up and held
Kwanele's hand. He was calm for a
minute but all hell broke loose
when he pushed he's mother
away and screamed
"Nosipho!!!! Nosipho!!!!! Nosipho!!!!!!"-
Kwanele screamed. "They are here
to get me!! Kill them! Kill them all!
Nosipho!!! Nosipho!!
I ran to him and held him.
"Ssssh calm down Nondaba, no one
will hurt you. I'm here now, your
Buttercup is here. Relax yourself,
lay down."- I said to him as he
held onto me closely. He kept
whispering things even I couldn't
hear. I laid him down and he was
still holding me, it was a really
tight squeeze so I laid down next
to him and he finally let go.
MaMzobe: What sort of love
potion did you feed my son!
Mom&I: Excuse me?
MaMzobe: You heard me! You have
made my son crazy and turned him
against me!
Mom: MaMzobe I know you are
sad, shocked and have mixed
emotions, all of this is
overwhelming but I will not have
anyone say my child is a witch or
my child poisoned so and so with a
love potion. This is my child you're
talking about and she did no such.
You don't want to ruin the
relationship we have established.
You do not want to see my crazy
side woman.
MaMzobe: How do you explain
what just happened?
Mom: We all cannot explain what
just happened. Nawe uyazibonela
isimo indodana yakho akuso kepha
lokho akuchazi njeh nakancane
ukuth indodakazi yami imudlisile.
Ungangicasuli wemfazi ndini.
Akudlalelwa kweyami ingane ke
ngane yakithi.( You also saw what
happened and that doesn't mean
that my child fed him love potion.
You don't jump on my childs head
my dear.)
Dad: Will the both of you just
shut up!
I don't even know when they
came back in here. Gagashe looked
a bit more calm now.
Dad: Pack your bags, we are all
going to Mbumbulu.
No one said anything else. I tried
by all means not to wake him up
but I failed. He was screaming
and howling like a mad person
again.
Me: Sedate him
I hated doing this but I had to.
I left as I heard him scream and
the bodyguards holding him down.
I shed a tear when he was silent.
I took Lukhanyo and mom carried
Luthando.
Me: Hello baby boy! Sawbona
mfana ka baba! Zondi omuhle
He was just playing with his
hands, he has gained a little
weight since birth and he looks
more and more like his father
each day. I had already packed
but Funeka made me pack again
Funeka: Mbumbulu isn't like
Mashu. It was my great great
great grandfathers household
and it is very strict there, so get
rid of all the pants you've packed
and put skirts and dresses.
Mbumbulu is hectic, you'll see
Thando on full farm girl mode I'm
telling you, if you thought you've
seen her on girl mode then think
again.
Me: Why don't you go to Mbumbulu
on a regular basis? I mean I've
heard about it once or twice but
none of you ever mentioned you
went there or something. We
didn't even go there for your
wedding
Funeka: We don't just go there at
any time. Last time we even went
there was like 2 years ago. My
father and his elder brother don't
get along that much because
they are both very stubborn and
controlling.
Me: It seems like it's hectic
Funeka: Trust me it is. Sit down
and let me remove your weave
Me: Haybo! My hair also has to
go?
Funeka: Do you see any weave on
my head? Sit your ass down.
Thando came in followed by
Emihle. Thando looked very
irritated and she was wearing a
long black skirt and long sleeve
white t-shirt. All her tattoos
were covered up and she even had
a doek on her head. You'd swear
she was some makoti. No offense
but she didn't look lesbian at all,
you'd swear she's a some farmgirl
wife.
Thando: I don't want my
girlfriend to see me like this
Me: Well she will and you have to
be ready
Thando: This sucks. We need to
come back from Mbumbulu as in
today!
Emihle: You should just come clean.
Thando: And have my father kill
me? You did see how he was in
there.
Emihle: I thought my father was
hectic but nope! Gagashe is on
another level, I'm officially very
scared of him. He's just like my
grandfather and Ta'Razor, you do
not mess with those men.
Ntombi: Oh and what do we have
here?
She giggled and took pictures of
Thando who was so annoyed.
Ntombi was truly enjoying this,
she couldnt stop laughing.
Ntombi: You're beautiful my love,
I feel so horny but just looking at
you.
Thando: Leave me alone
Ntombikayise.
She laughed and kissed her then
walked out. They are just too
cute together. After we finished
packing we went downstairs, I did
pack two warm tracksuits and my
pyjamas. They have to
understand I just gave birth and
I need to be warm. I took my
baby girl and fed her then
changed their nappies.
Lwazi: Let me pack these in the
car, what else will you need for
the babies?
Me: Just their 2bags.
Lwazi: You and Simi will be riding
with me.
I nodded and he took the baby
car seats and the bags. Gagashe
was speaking to the doctor
Gagashe: Thank you for your
services but we will not be needing
you anymore. Thank you
He gave him an envelope with
money and told him to leave
Doctor: But Mr Zondi isn't well
yet
Gagashe: This doesn't need
science Doctor, this boy needs to
go home. This is a supernatural
matter and no science will fix this.
This better not make the news,
you are my trusted agent and so
is your staff. I know you will all
keep this a secret, if it comes out,
you know how I deal with people
who betray me.
Doctor: Rest assured Gagashe,
this is a secret. Goodluck.
Gagashe: Everyone get in the
your designated car and lets
leave, time is not on our side
Me: And Kwanele?
Kwenzo: We'll take a flight with
him we'll meet you in Mbumbulu
Me: Why don't we all just fly to
Mbumbulu?
Mom: You have infants, they can't
be on a plane.
Me: Oh.
There's alot I don't know about
babies and motherhood and I am
yet to learn and discover alot. We
got into the cars and we were all
off to Mbumbulu. Luckily
Lukhanyo was fast asleep while I
carried the forever crying
princess. I wiped her eyes and
kissed her cheeks. She screamed
Ay this baby cries alot, her face is
even red now.
Simi: Take off her t-shirt maybe
it will help.
I took off her t-shirt and fed her
while singing a song for her,
careful not to wake her twin
brother up. She cried until she
also fell asleep
Lwazi: Thank God, both your
voices were killing my eardrums.
Me: Shut up Lwazi.
A few hours later we had finally
arrived at Mbumbulu. After the
loud cries of the twins, all I
wanted to do was just sleep and
get some rest.
Lwazi: We're just 30 minutes
away from home, I think you
should be fixing yourselves up.
Me: Let me put this doek on my
head.
I quickly wrapped it on my head
and we looked very decent. We
stood on a big black gate, the
other cars were also there and
Gagashe. I guess they arrived
before us and waited for us.
Lwazi: Get out of the with just
the babies, leave the bags behind.
Simi took Lukhanyo and I carried
Luthando. A tall big man came to
the gate, he looked just like
Gagashe so I figured he was the
brother. He was being followed by
two elderly woman and one of
them was Kwanele's
grandmother. Gagashe and this
brother of his stood there just
staring at each other. I swear if
this gate wasn't between them
they would be strangling each
other.
Me: Is anyone going to stop this
staring contest going on?
Funeka: They are always like this.
Its the way they communicate
without killing each other, I don't
know what the fued is all about
but they don't like each other at
all.
Gagashe: Zondi Omkhulu
Him: Gagashe Omkhulu
Finally they are speaking, I hope
it is some good progress so we can
get in. The clouds are dark so it
means it is going to rain anytime
soon.
Zondi: Who are these people you
have come with?
Gagashe: These are my sons and
daughters
Zondi: Since when do you have so
many children, you always bring
people who are not of our blood in
this household.
Gagashe: I wouldn't bring them
here if I didn't need them. You
tend to forget that this is my
house and you do not dictate who
I bring and who I don't bring
Zondi: You tend to forget that I
am older
Gagashe: You're an old fool. But
let us not go there, let us do
what we came here for. I don't
like standing in the gate like I am
a guest in my own house. Mah,
I've come with your great
grandchildren.
The woman ululated and smiled.
Zondi opened the gate but we still
didn't enter. The woman came
forth and greeted me. There
were four women now and I
greeted back.
Gagashe: Come closer Nosipho,
hold both babies. They need to be
reported to the ancestors about
their arrival. Our God's need to
acknowledge their presence. I
held both of them and stood next
to Gagashe.
Me: What are you doing!
I stepped back when Kwanele's
grandma took out a razor and
took my childs hand.
Gogo: I need to cut their wrist a
bit and pour the blood on the
ground.
Me: No! Not my babies
Zondi: OKwanele nokumithisa
amantombazane akemadolobheni
ekhona amantombazane lana
emakhaya. Basidalela izinkinga
ngoku, usiko lolu wentombazana
ndin. Ngakutshela Gagashe
ukuthi suhambisa lezingane
emadolobheni, azikhulele
lana.(Kwanele, they impregnate
girls from the cities while there
are girls in the village. They are
causing problems for us now.
These are our traditions you girl.
I told you Gagashe, to not take
these kids to the cities and raise
them here.)
Gagashe: Akaphikisani namasiko
ethu. UNosipho ingane elungile
futhi ehloniphayo. Inkinga ukuthi
angimazisanga ngakuthi izinto
zenziwa kanjan laykhaya.(She is
not going against your traditions.
Nosipho is a good child who is very
respectful. The problem is, I
didn't tell her how we do things
here.)
Zondi: Inkinga iqale ngokuthi
uKwanele amithise lengane
engayiganile(The problem started
with Kwanele impregnating this
girl without marrying her first.)
Now he is dead and we have this
spoilt brat here.
Gogo: Stop! I am tired of this
nonsense and this stupid
argument between the two of
you. I gave birth to you and I
can steal beat the both of you up!
MaNdelu, come forth with the
babies.
I wanted to cry.
I closed my eyes as they cut
through my little babies wrists.
The wails that came after the
cut. It was heart breaking. They
sprinkled their blood at the gate
while calling out their clan names.
She washed their hands and put
a plaster on the little cuts.
Gogo: Feed them both at the
same time and entire with the
both of them, make sure you do
not step on their blood.
I put my breasts in their mouth,
Luthando was having none of it,
all she wanted to do was scream
her lungs out. After a few
minutes she finally calmed down.
This child, she is too strong and
too loud. I did as I was
instructed and the rain poured.
They were singing and dancing in
the rain while I wanted to just
scream. The others came in and
we finally went inside what
seemed to be the main house. I
didn't have time to look around
the yard but it was big filled with
separate houses and it was huge.
Emihle: I'm freaked out
Me: That goes for the both of us.
We laughed and we were taken to
the lounge, mind you, we had to
take off our shoes and wear
oMaCele, the small black takkies.
Buhle sat on the couch and she
was told to sit down on the floor
mat by Menzi
Zondi: Iyona ngoduso yakho lena
Menzi?( Is this your fiance
Menzi?)
He nodded and Zondi shook his
head in disapproval. I could see
Simi wanted to just laugh but she
held it in. We also sat down and
Gogo took the twins. My stitches
were so sore as I sat on this
floor mat, I was just so
uncomfortable.
Gagashe: Mah, sinenkinga lana.
Menzi, landani umfowenu( Mom,
we have a problem here. Menzi,
go fetch your brother.)
They went out and they came
back carrying a screaming and
howling Kwanele. He was so
sweaty and they had tied him
with a rope. My heart sank, they
tied him up like some crazy animal.
Zondi and the elders stood up
Zondi: Mihlola mini le
Ndodayesizwe!!
Gagashe: Ndodayempi!
Asukhuluma nami kanjalo!
They both have ugly names,
maybe that's why they call each
other with their surnames.
Kwanele's grandmother had given
MaMzobe the babies and she was
walking around Kwanele.
Gogo: Iyaphila ingane yami,
uyaphila umfana ka gogo( My child
is alive. Grannies boy is alive.) We
thank you good Lord, we thank
you.
She held his face and he was calm.
She kept on kissing his face, he's
skin was so dry. I know he would
be disgusted if he was himself
while granny just kisses him like
that.
Zondi: Nhlonipho! Nhlonipho!!
A young man came in and looked
down.
Him: Babah
Zondi: Go call Gog'Ngcolosi. Tell
her it is an emergency.
Him: Yebo Zondi.
Zondi: Thando and all you girls
should leave. Go to your rooms.
I stood up and took my kids. We
followed Thando out
Funeka: Let's go to Kwanele's
house is closer and bigger. We
followed her and got to Kwanele's
house. My things were already
packed in there and the baby
stuff.
Ntombi: We had planned a baby
welcoming party, we were going to
have it today KwaMashu but
here we are, in Mbumbulu.
Thando: I'm so bored I wish we
could leave already but it's for
the best. Funny how stupid we all
were, we should've told the elders
about Kwanele the moment we
found out. This would've been
sorted out a long time ago.
Me: None of us ever thought
about it. I guess we were all just
dumb.
Khetho: Everything just happened
so fast.
Me: Let me bath my babies and
get some sleep.
They helped me bath and put the
babies to sleep. We stayed for a
while just talking and going
through some of Buhles plans for
her wedding. While Khetho told us
about her amazing date with
Zinga, apparently after we leave
Mbumbulu, she will go back to
Langelihle so they can go to their
second date and she has to give
him an answer because he wants
them to be a couple and give this
relationship thing a try, those
were Khetho's words.
Emihle: And what will you say?
You have to say yes to him, I
mean why would you even say no?
We laughed at her and I covered
myself with a blanket. They will
take care of these twins if they
decide to wake up while I'm
sleeping. I need some rest and I
will use this little opportunity I'm
getting. Who knows what insult
Zondi would throw at me if he
would see me sleeping right now.
He just seems like a tough nut
and I will never forgive them for
cutting my babies.

Insert 54
I was at the kitchen preparing
breakfast for the family with
Funeka. The twins were still
asleep with Khetho, she decided
to sleep with me so she can assist
me. I couldn't sleep anymore so I
decided to come help with
breakfast. We had to first make
soft porridge before we serve
English breakfast. Things seemed
to be done in a very strict manner.
It wasn't even 6am yet but the
people here were already awake
and moving around. Buhle came to
the kitchen looking frustrated
Me: And what is wrong with you?
Buhle: I had to go to the river
and fetch water, it's so unfair
because they have running water
and tanks here but that aunties
excuse was that I need to
perform my wifely duties!
Me: Marriage isn't all about glitz
and glamor sweetie.
Buhle: I know but I've never
carried a bucket with my head till
today. I'm just lucky none of them
dropped, they were damn heavy
25litres.
Me: I've never done that before,
so I'm not looking forward to
doing that.
Funeka: You should be getting
ready because you will be parading
this yard as a Zondi makoti soon.
That ring on that finger isn't for
decoration. I know I still need to
go to Ntethe's home and parade
as a Ntanzi makoti. I'm not
scared about it because my
mother trained me. We grew up
as rich snobs but also as grounded
village girls.
Me: I don't know if this ring will
still have its value. I mean, I
don't know how things will be once
he is normal again. I mean, he will
remember that when he "died" we
weren't on speaking terms and
things were the way they were.
Buhle: That man called you to
save him, he has been screaming
and howling your name everyday.
In every situation he is in he
thinks of you and needs you.
There's no way that he'll be
normal and not want you and
those kids. Don't even worry
yourself about it. Ofcause things
won't be as normal but you guys
are going to get back together.
I just nodded because I had no
response for what she said. I did
think of it and yes its true but
this is Kwanele, he does what he
wants and sometimes he doesn't
consider his feelings but what he
thinks in that heated mind of his
and it is also clouded with pride so
I didn't want to get my hopes up
for nothing.
MaMzobe: Morning my children,
Simi said I should call you. The
twins are awake
Me: Okay thank you mah
I dished up for myself and Simi
then went back to the house.
Me: Here's some food.
I took the Luthando who was
crying as she's always the crying
one.
Me: Little Angel, what is the
matter?
I patted her back and sat down
with her then fed her.
Simi: I'll prepare for their bath
Me: Thank you God mother
Simi: You know, I'm the prettiest
God mother that has ever
existed.
I laughed at her and she went to
the bathroom. After burping
Luthando I took Lukhanyo and
fed him too.
Simi: I'll be back just now.
She went out while I ate, I had
laid the twins on the bed and they
were sitting silently. It usually
doesn't even last that long, I've
got used to the cries and noises.
My stitches are just slowly
healing and my belly still looks big
and horrible. MaMzobe suggested
that I tie it and I did so, I don't
know if I expected it to be flat in
just a few days but I want my
stomach back now. Simi came back
and we bathed the babies. Menzi
came in followed by Vusi. They
greeted and sat on the couch.
They had frowns and it seemed
like they were carrying bad news
Me: The long faces?
Vusi: We had a long night so we're
exhausted
Simi: Where is Lwazi?
Vusi: With Ntethe and Kwanele
Me: How is he?
Menzi: You'll see him, there is a
small meeting you need to attend
with the elders and the healer.
Me: Now?
Menzi: When the twins are asleep,
you should come.
I nodded and they stayed for a
while just sitting there in silence.
They were just making me
nervous, their silence and reaction
is just making me feel scared.
Simi: Menzi, hold her.
Menzi: This is the first time I'm
holding Luthando and she isn't
crying.
I took a bath while they
babysitted and after I was done
I put the babies to sleep.
Vusi: Let's go
Me: I'll be joining you soon.
I was just delaying for no reason.
I wasn't really looking forward to
that meeting. I was scared to
see the condition he was in and to
hear if he will recover or not.
Simi: Just go and get it over and
done with.
I stood up and went to the hut
where he is. The elders were
there and he was laid on the floor.
Gogo: Take off your shoes ngane
yam and come sit next to me. I
did as I was told. I looked at
Kwanele, he looked so pale and
lifeless. I wanted to just cry but
I held myself together. The
traditional healer was still talking
and chanting things I didn't
understand.
Her: MaNdelu
Me: Yebo
I didn't know what to say so I
just stuck to "Yebo" she didn't
seem to mind as she continued
while Bab'Zondi just shook his
head in disapproval. I didn't have
time for him, I need to focus on
this lady.
Her: Bring forth his flesh and
blood. Bring forth is creations
I was confused at first till I
understood what she meant. I
stood up and went to fetch the
twins, as soon as we got into the
hut they woke up and started
crying out so loud you'd swear
someone just hit them or dropped
them. She said the Zondi clan
names and ancestral praises.
Her: We need to quickly do a
welcoming tradition for the
babies. Their spirits need to be
connected to their father so he
shall be well and gain back his
health.
Gagashe: Then do it.
Her: We need the mothers
approval
Zondi: That doesn't matter, she
is not Kwanele's wife, she is not a
Zondi
Her: But she carried the babies
full term and she needs to
approve of it.
Me: What will you do to my
babies?
Her: We just need to cut of their
little fingers. It has to be done,
it is our tradition and our way of
doing things. That is the
procedure for the welcoming
ceremony, it has to be done.
Me: No!!!
MaMzobe: Nosipho, it has to be
done. All my children did it, even
Kwanele himself. The finger will
grow back
Me: I will not allow such pain on
my kids. No, I'm sorry but its just
not going to happen.
Her: Why does Luthando cry so
much?
Me: I don't know, its normal for a
baby to cry. She's just a cry baby
Zondi: Cry baby my foot wena
ngane, yabona lesilungu seni
siyaniphuphisa. Lengane idinga
ukulandela usiko ixhumaniswe
noyise kanye nabakubo man! Sika
locikicane MaNgcolosi(Cry baby my
foot, this child needs to follow
traditions and be connected with
her father and her ancestors. Cut
this little finger MaNgcolosi)
Tears were flowing and I was
very scared and hurt. What sort
of tradition inflicts so much pain
on little infants? They are not
even a week old, thru are too
little and fragile for such pain.
Her: You need to know you didn't
give birth to a blind child. You
need to set her free
My little Luthando.
Me: You can do it, but I don't
want to be present when you do
it. I cannot watch such cruelty.
All I want is for my child to be
okay
They nodded and I went to stand
outside while they performed
their ritual. I could hear my kids
scream so loudly and all I could do
was cry while Ntombi was
comforting me. They called me
back in and the twins left hands
were bandaged. I wiped off my
tears and took them. I wasn't
allowed to get out of the hut
with them so I sat down and fed
them infront of these people,
they were all seeing my breasts,
I saw Vusi taking a picture of me
and I wanted to swear him but I
couldn't. After an hour we were
told to leave, only Gagashe,
Kwanele, Zondi and the healer
were left inside the hut. I went
straight to my house and laid my
kids on the bed then I joined
them. All I wanted to do was just
sleep because when they wake up
they might cry all day because of
the pain. I think I slept for a
few hours till I was woken up by
the cries, weird, its Lukhanyo. I
took him and fed him then walked
around with him. I'm sure he is
feeling pain because of this hand.
Khetho came in followed by Menzi.
Khetho: We bought some
medication for the kids to ease
the pain
Me: Thank you
Menzi: How are you feeling?
Me: I don't know, I'm just
frustrated. I don't want my
babies to feel any pain. I'm new
as a parent and all, it hasn't even
been a week and its already this
hard and I've took some really
hard decisions which inflicted so
much pain on them. Whats next?
They'll cut their entire arms off?
I don't want anything bad to
happen to them anymore even if
it means Kwanele has to die than
so be it.
Menzi: You don't mean that
Me: Trust me, I do.
I've had situations where I
always chose Kwanele over my
babies, I second guessed my
decisions all in the name of loving
and saving Kwanele but that all
ends now. My babies have 9
fingers because of him and his
traditions. Had he just died and I
had my children none of this would
be happening. I'm angry and
hurting for my babies, they are
too young for this. Luthando cried
and I gave Lukhanyo to Khetho.
Me: Little Angel
She opened her eyes and they
were dirty. I wiped them off and
they seemed different. They were
more clear and brighter
Me: Come see the difference in
her eyes!
They came and confirmed I
wasn't just seeing things.
Menzi: Gog'Ngcolosi did say you
didn't give birth to a blind child.
That means she'll be able to see
and she isn't blind. I know it
hurts that they are in pain but
look at the brighter side of
things, nevermind that you took
the decision to help Kwanele but
the decision you took also helped
Luthando.
What he said made alot of sense.
I guess it was for a good course.
After feeding both of them till
they seemed satisfied I put
them to sleep in their cots. Menzi
left and Khetho slept on the bed
with me
Me: And then?
Khetho: I was waiting for Menzi
to leave, I have news to tell!
Zinga wants to see me
Me: But you're in Mbumbulu and
he is in Langelihle
Khetho: You're so slow. He's
coming here to see me
Me: Ncoo! Wow, he's driving all the
way from Langelihle to Mbumbulu
just to come see you? Thats so
cute I'm so happy. Tell him to
bring something nice and edible for
me
Khetho: You like nice things
Me: I don't have a man to spoil
me so I should be spoilt by you
and your man because I sort of
hooked the both of you up.
Khetho: Whatever.
Me: Let me go to the kitchen just
to show face and move around. I
don't want those elders and
aunties to bad mouth me. Call me
when they wake up and I haven't
returned. I left the babies with
Khetho and I went to the
kitchen. They were busy making
lunch and it seemed to be a big
preparation
Me: What is going on?
MaMzobe: Its just a little
ceremony for the twins. Gagashe
and Zondi slaughtered four cows
for them and we need to cook for
the guests
Me: That seems big
MaMzobe: We are the Zondi's,
something small is always big.
Me: Where can I help?
MaMzobe: You can peel these
bags of potatoes, Thando will
help you.
Ntombi didn't seem happy with
the task she was given. She
carried the bags and told me to
go fill the bucket with water
Me: Where will I get water?
Thando: There are tanks behind
those three round houses.
I took the two buckets and went
to the tanks. I kept on hearing
giggles and kissing sounds. Hehe,
people are sneaking behind tanks
and expressing their love. How
cute. I always feel like we still
had little time with Kwanele, we
don't have these silly memories. I
wish we will still be able to have
some of these, I wonder if the
love and spark will still be there?
I'm just very anxious about it and
I'm scared.
"Sssh I need to go before
someone sees us"- they giggled
No.
No no, I know those voices. I
closed the tap and listened
carefully.
No, it isn't who I think it is. I
started walking towards them.
Me: No Nosipho, go back. Stop
snooping around.
I told myself but it was too late.
I had already seen it all and I
watched them as they were
kissing and grinding. Oh gosh!
I slowly walked back and took the
buckets then went back to
Thando.
Thando: What took you so long?
Me: I couldnt close the tap, but
some boy helped me.
Thando: Are you okay? You seem a
bit edgy
Me: Its just the stitches, let me
go see what's wrong and I'll be
back just now. I went to my
house and took a deep breath.
Khetho: And then?
Me: You won't believe what I just
saw and this stays between the
two of us Khethokuhle
Khetho: Okay. Now out with it?
Me: Do not tell Menzi!
Khetho: I won't.
Me: Vusi and Buhle are having an
affair.
Silence
Silence
Silence
Khetho: Tell me you're joking?
Me: I wish I was. I saw it with
my own two eyes.
Khetho: Wow, shit is about to hit
the fan. I don't want to be there
when he finds out. I don't blame
Buhle though, I mean Menzi
hasn't been the perfect guy, we
all know how he was and him
always making it obvious that he
loves me and Buhle tolerated it
all. Now with Vusi, he's giving her
all the attention she needs and
she's most probably the only girl
in his life. Not that I'm justifying
what she's doing and the mess its
all going to cause, I'm just saying
that I don't blame her and it
was probably just unplanned and
they are falling inlove or its just
pure lust that will cause damage.
Me: I get your point. I'm just
shocked. Let me go back to
peeling those potatoes. I checked
on the babies and went back to
Ntombi. We peeled the potatoes
till we were done with three bags
Thando: That's enough now I'm
tired hawu. I want to be in my
jeans and lay in bed with my
girlfriend. I can't even touch her
inappropriately, I have to
pretend like she's my friend, I
hate that. I want to grab her
ass and be in between her thighs
all night long.
Me: You seem like you're sexually
frustrated
Thando: I am! Plus I just miss
her
Me: You could go to her and just
talk to her
Thando: Just talk to her? That's
impossible when I'm feeling this
way. Have you seen Ntombi?
Gosh, just looking at her makes
me crazy. I don't trust myself,
I'll be tempted to just kiss her
and that will be trouble. I'll go to
her room tonight, I mean I'm
just a girl and she's a girl, we're
just sharing a room nothing
inappropriate
Me: Mmmh make sure your
mother doesn't see you
Thando: It's not like she'll
suspect anything
Me: She's your mother, she knows
and surely she can tell.
Thando: Yes she can tell that her
daughter is not straight but she
won't suspect that I'm doing
something with Ntombi or any of
you for that matter.
I nodded and took the buckets of
potatoes to the kitchen. I went
to get dressed appropriately in a
long blue skirt and black long
sleeve tshirt and a doek on my
head.
Khetho: Will you be able to take
out our breast on that t-shirt?
Me: Yes, where are my
breastpads?
She gave them to me and left
with the twins. She said she
doesn't want to do any hard
labour so she's sticking to
babysitting while everyone
parades in the yard cooking and
serving guests. I was looking
through my clothes for a jersey
and another blanket for the twins
"You look beautiful"
I felt my knees trembling. I knew
that voice, I knew it very well.
He still has that effect over me.
He still makes me feel this way. I
was breathing heavily and I was
just frozen.
"Buttercup"
Tears fell from my eyes. I couldnt
hold them back. I turned and
looked to the door. Ntethe and
Lwazi were holding him helping
him stand and he had his rod
again, I guess its assisting him
with walking. He looked so tired,
he had his glasses on but I
wanted to see his eyes. I moved
closer to them
Me: Pickle.
I held his face and they let go of
him.
Ntethe: He can stand on his own
but not for long.
I nodded. I held him and put my
head on his chest.
It is him.
They laid him on the bed and they
left. I couldnt believe my eyes. I
mean, I knew he was alive and
breathing but now it feels like its
the first time I'm seeing him
ever since he was declared dead.
Kwanele: Say something.
Me: You lips are dry
Kwanele: That's what happens
when they haven't been kissed for
a long time. But they are still
good and tasty, just so you know
Me: I see we're still cocky and
arrogant huh?
Kwanele: Nothing can put a good
man down.
He laughed a bit which ended up
to him coughing non-stop. I
helped him sit up and drink water.
I got the chance to take off his
glasses. I went to take a wet
towel and cleaned his eyes. He
touched my stomach while I was
at it
Kwanele: Where's the stomach?
Me: They didn't tell you? I gave
birth already
Kwanele: Wow, I guess time has
really passed
Me: I gave birth to twins.
Silence
Silence
Silence
Kwanele: Where are they? That's
why my father spoke about a
welcoming ceremony?
Me: Yes I was told about it about
an hour ago.
Kwanele: He wanted to do
something for me to but I don't
want people knowing that I'm
alive. Just not yet
Me: You need to fully recover first
Kwanele: Yes and there are things
I need to take care off first.
Me: I won't even ask.
Kwanele: What you can do is bring
my babies here.
I didn't think I heard him
correctly. Is this the same
Kwanele I know who just called
my babies his? I was just frozen
and he touched my face.
Kwanele: I mean it, don't have
any doubts. I know I didn't want
anything to do with having a child
and honestly I'm just scared, its
even way more scarier because
there's two babies involved now
and I don't know anything about
being a father and you don't know
anything about being a mother,
that's why I see it fit that we
both give this parenting thing a
try, we'll teach each other some
things along the way and if we
fail as parents we'll fail together.
I just want us to be the best
parents we can be and I want to
be there for you and the kids. I
know I'm still weak and theres
not much I can do for now but
when I get back on my own two
feet you'll see the difference. Now
stop crying and messing up that
pretty face and bring my babies.
I nodded and went to fetch the
twins. I still just couldn't believe
it.
Khetho: I don't understand why
you're crying, I know its
overwhelming but stop being a cry
baby.
She laughed at me and followed
me to the house. She said she will
come with me because she doesn't
want to be sent around. When we
came in Kwanele sat up and
Khetho gave him Lukhanyo
Me: Meet your very well behaved
son
Kwanele: And what is his name? I
hope you didn't give him a crappy
name.
Me: Really now?
He laughed while I helped him
hold him properly. Khetho kept on
taking pictures of us.
Me: His name is Lukhanyo Kwanele
Zondi
Kwanele: That's a good name, you
named him after me?
Khetho: She named the both of
them after you. Cute right?
Kwanele: Wheres the other one? I
want to carry them both? Is it a
boy too?
Me: No, its a girl. My little angel
Kwanele: Our little angel, but
please don't say you named her
angel
Me: Yes, our little angel. No, her
name is Luthando Kwanele Zondi
Kwanele: They both have their
fathers name. You made sure my
name forever remains.
Me: Just as your legacy will
forever remain and be known
through your kids. Your name shall
never die nor perish
Kwanele: Thank you Nosipho.
He held the both of them and
Khetho took more pictures. I
swear my phone will be filled with
all these photo's.
Me: They're not even crying. Such
traitors, they'd be screaming
their lungs out when I carry
them.
He dissed me telling me he's a
natural at this parenting thing.
I just watched him as he played
with this babies and he seemed
happy. Khetho took the twins
after a few hours and went to
their room to put them to sleep.
Me: Do you want something to
eat?
Kwanele: No but I do want you
close to me.
I giggled and laid next to him on
the bed. He pulled me closer and I
laid on his chest.
Kwanele: I wish I could see them
Me: I wish you could see them
too. They look just like you.
Kwanele: I know we still have
alot of unresolved issues and I
need to fully recover, I can feel
my body, its very weak and I
don't have any strength.
Me: You need to get some rest
Kwanele and you'll be able to
regain your strength. We need you
and your businesses need you.
Kwanele: I hear you've been
handling them well
Me: I haven't been doing much,
Menzi has everything under
control.
Kwanele: They will remain under
your name for a while. I still have
a lot I need to take care off as I
mentioned earlier. I will go away
for a few weeks
Me: Kwanele
Kwanele: Listen. I need to deal
with the people who made me
suffer and be like this. I will not
rest until they have all suffered.
And when I come back home, we
will work on our relationship apart
from the parenting relationship
we have. I would like us to pick
up from where we left off and be
together again. But all that will
be discussed when I'm back
Me: Okay. And who did this to
you?
Kwanele: Some people who
thought they can get rid of me.
But firstly, I will deal with
someone who betrayed me and
who is close to me
Me: And who is that and what did
they do?
Kwanele: They tried to steal my
precious jewel, he tried to steal
my wife.
Shit.
Oh no.
Kwanele: I need to deal with
Gagashe.

Insert 55
I couldn't sleep properly at night
yet I was in the arms of a man
who owns my entire heart. I was
so restless because of what he
said. His words are still echoing in
my head. He said he will deal with
Gagashe.
What does he mean?
How did he even know about
Gagashe?
The baby cried and I woke up. It
was just around 3am. I sat down
on the rocking chair and fed him
while trying to get him to sleep
again.
Kwanele: Bring him here?
Me: How do you know I'm carrying
a boy?
Kwanele: I have told you this
many times before. Never doubt
my senses but to answer your
question I can tell the difference
in their voices that's how I knew
you're carrying Lukhanyo.
I laughed a bit and gave him his
son who immediately just kept
quiet
Me: Such a traitor
Kwanele: He needed he's fathers
loving hands.
I smiled. It still seems surreal
that he is a father and he is
participating in his daddy duties.
Just months ago he was sure he
doesn't want any baby but now it
is all completely different. I can't
thank the Lord enough for the
change of heart that he has
given Kwanele. I guess the tough
situation he was in made him
rethink the choices he has made
in life.
Kwanele: He's asleep, tuck him in.
Me: Yes daddy
I took Lukhanyo and tucked him
in his bed then sat next to it for
a while
Kwanele: And why are you not
coming back to bed? You've been
very restless and tossing and
turning. What is the matter?
Me: Nothing, I just can't sleep
Kwanele: You do know that I
know you and right now you're
lying. Speak Nosipho
Me: What will you do to Gagashe?
Kwanele: Nothing, we will just
speak man to man.
I nodded and walked to bed but I
hurt my knee on the bed stand
and fell on the floor. The pain! My
entire body was in pain and my
knee was just worse.
Kwanele: I thought you've
outgrew the clumsiness stage.
Me: It hurts
I felt him hold my hand, he was
leaning on the bed for support. He
tried to help me up but instead
he fell on top of me.
Kwanele: So much for trying to
help you. I guess the universe
wants us to just hump and make
other twins
Me: Really Kwanele?
I laughed at him so hard. I
missed him so much and now that
he's here I'm at a happy place.
Me: You do know that you're very
heavy right?
He laughed and slept near me. We
were just sleeping on the carpet
floor in comfortable silence.
Kwanele: I love you
When last did I hear those
words? It was also just so
random and unexpected. Those
words just made my heart beat
race and I was head over hills
inlove with this man again.
Me: I love you too Kwanele
Kwanele: Marry me, be my wife
Nosipho??
Me: I already have a ring on my
finger
Kwanele: But that wasn't
properly done. Plus I'm glad you
listened to my instructions till you
found that ring. I want us to get
married in two weeks
Me: Your brother is getting
married in two weeks Kwanele and
I sure as hell do not want a
double wedding. I want all the
attenton to be on me
Kwanele: And what about me?
Women tend to think weddings are
just all about them, are you
marrying yourself?
Me: No but then its more about
the woman. The men gives the
woman her dream wedding
Kwanele: Nonsense
Me: The woman plans everything
and has more input in the wedding
planning because you men just
never care what goes on, just as
long as you say I do then you're
done
Kwanele: But that still doesnt say
that a wedding is about the
woman
Me: Okay Kwanele, you will plan
the wedding and be the centre of
attention
Kwanele: I'm not doing that.
Rather there be no wedding at
all.
Me: See? You just have no way of
winning this one babe.
We continued debating about
weddings and a whole lot of
things that society has placed as
a "mens" thing and a "womans"
things
Kwanele: And who the fuck said
Blue is for boys and pink is for
girls? That's messed up
Me: I give up! I'm not having
more of these conversations with
you. I laughed at him and stood
up. Then I helped him up too, my
knee just got more and more
painful as I stood.
Me: Its 6am, I should bath and
look decent
Kwanele: Why? You should be going
back to bed
Me: Hah and have your uncle and
aunties on my neck about being a
lazy fiance.
Kwanele: You have babies and you
just gave birth, you need to rest.
No wife of mine will be
galavanting these yards as a
slave while she's in pain when
there are lots of woman in this
household who can manage the
house chores. Who helped them
when you weren't around?
Me: But Kwanele I..
Kwanele: Its not up for discussion
Nosipho.
I shut my mouth and got into
bed. He has said how he wants
things to go and that will be.
Nothing and no one will go against
his words, that's just how it is.
That's just how he is. I forgot
how it is to be the one who is
submissive to someone else's
demand. I was the one to
dictated how things go but now
the man of the house is back, I
have to obey. But as stubborn as
I've become, I wonder how long
the submission will last. He went
to the bathroom while I tossed
and turned in bed trying to get
some sleep till I eventually fell
asleep.
After a few hours I was woken
up by Funeka and Buhle jumping
on my bed.
Me: What the fuck!!!
Buhle: You'll say that once
Kwanele kills Gagashe. Wake up,
and stop the drama that's
happening out there.
Me: What? Gosh, what is going on
in that man's head? I quickly
stood up and went out of the
house. Funeka followed me while
Buhle was left with the babies. I
didn't even change into decent
clothes but that's the least of
my worries.
Funeka: They are in the main
house at the lounge.
I ran to where she directed me
and I got there Menzi, Kwenzo,
Lwazi and some other guy were
standing in between Kwanele and
Gagashe. They were shouting at
the top of thier voices with
MaMzobe sitting on the floor
looking defeated.
Gagashe: You've grown some balls
right? You want to fight me? You
want to fight your father, boy I
brought you into this world and I
can take you out without any
hesitation!!
Kwanele: I would love to see you
try. You lost all the respect I had
for you and the authority you had
over me me when you did the shit
you did
Gagashe: And what nonsense is
that? Don't patronize me young
man
Kwanele: You don't know huh? You
were after my wife, you kissed
her and wanted to marry her.
That's the shit you did and I
sure as hell do not accept that
and I won't let it slide. I'm
supposedly dead for just a while
and you want to take my wife!!
The mother of my kids, she was
damn pregnant and you still went
for her. What nonsense is that,
Nosipho is young enough to be
your daughter, she's your damn
daughter in law and you do that
crap? Come one, I really didn't
expect this from you. You're
always preaching about respect
and morals now what was that?
There were many side comments
and mumbles from the aunts,
uncles and Simi. She even clapped
her hands twice, I looked at her
and she shrugged. Gagashe kept
quiet and looked at Kwanele. The
look on his face wasn't a pleasant
one and they were both just very
angry.
Me: Kwanele
I moved a step closer to him and
he looked my way. I still get that
feeling I always get when I feel
like he can see and he's eyes are
piercing through me. It's a weird
feeling that I can't clearly
explain.
Kwanele: Don't get involved
Nosipho. Just go back to the
house.
Me: No, you need to stop. This
isn't right okay? Please listen to
me
Kwanele: I'll stop.
Phew that was easy.
He walked towards me and the
others moved back. He held my
waist and he was breathing on
my neck.
"Leave"
Those were the words I heard
till there were many gunshots. I
dived down and crawled on my
knees moving to the back of the
couch. I took a look and no one
was hurt. Kwanele just shot at
the ceiling. I stood up and they
were having a pretty intense fist
fight. Gosh! What is this man
doing? Fighting his own father
because of me?
Me: Kwanele Mbuso Zondi!!
Kwanele: I told you to leave!!
I didn't listen to him. There it is,
the stubbornness is kicking in. I
went to them and kicked the both
of them till they stopped beating
each other up.
Me: Just stand up! The both of
you, what nonsense is this? You're
embarrassing yourselves and this
household. What will people say
about this house? A son can beat
up his father? A father can beat
up his son because he wants his
wife? What nonsense is that and
where on earth have you seen
such happen? You're both very old,
you're fathers for crying out loud.
Is this the example you're
setting for your children Kwanele?
Gagashe, is this the example
you're setting for your sons?
Gagashe: It is this monstrous
boy who has lost all respect!
Kwanele: You made me this way.
Everything I am and everything
I know is because of you. You
groomed me and made me who I
am. You're the only man I looked
up to and trusted with my life
but you were the first one to
betray me. I trusted you so much!
I trusted you would be the one to
take care of my wife and kids
when I was taken away. But
what did you do father? What did
you do? Ungidla izithende njeh
kanjalo? You expected my mother
to accept my fiance as your second
wife? Did you even think about
the damage that would cause?
What would your children even
say? It just goes to show how
sick in the head you are and you do
not even think. I would've
understood if you wanted Menzi
to be the one who marries
Nosipho because that's how it
should've been not the other way
around. It's not like I would've
accepted that nor would she but
it would make more sense because
of tradition.
Gagashe: I didn't plan this. It
just happened naturally. It
wasn't my intention to fall inlove
with your fiance. I'm your father
for crying out loud and I wouldn't
just do that purposely. I'm sorry
son.
Kwanele: You don't owe me an
apology. Even if you apologize, it
won't change the way I look at
you from now onwards.
He said that and left the room.
We were just all silent and looking
at each other till Zondi decided to
break the silence with a very
unnecessary comment.
Zondi: Ay Ndodayesizwe, wonders
will never end. I don't blame you,
she is very attractive.
With that said he also just left
the room.
Lwazi: I'll clean up the mess.
We all just went different
directions and I went to look for
this crazy man of mine. He wasn't
anywhere in the yard nor was he
in our house.
Buhle: Maybe he left with Zondi
because I don't think he is also in
the yard.
Me: Well we'll talk whenever he
decides to show up.
#TwoWeeksLater.
A wedding day is a day for us to
rejoice and be marry. It is a day
where we celebrate love and the
coming together of two families
who will now become one. The sun
is blooming, the birds are singing
and the breeze is smooth and cool.
It is indeed a beautiful bright
day suitable for a spring wedding.
Me: Funeka, bring Luthando
please, you'll take pictures later!
She was busy taking pictures of
the twins dressed in their
wedding outfits while I wanted
to feed them.
Funeka: Mommy is such a party
pooper.
She handed over Luthando and
continued talking pictures of
Lukhanyo. They both wore
matching outfits, I was so
against it but that's what their
father wanted and the bride
ofcause. He's explanation was
"Aren't they twins? That's what
twins do, match and do everything
together, they did share the
same womb at the same time"
such responses from Kwanele just
make me feel defeated. I mean,
what else would I have said to
disagree? He is just impossible to
have a fair argument with, he
should have been just a lawyer.
Speaking of the twins and their
father, the twins are fat. They
are not those little tiny babies
they were just two weeks ago. I
buy clothes almost every week
because they grow each and every
day. I can say their eyesight has
developed and they are just as
loud as ever, especially Luthando,
I feel like she will be the very
noisy twin. Their father is
recovering very well, he is just
still limping and using his rod but
everything else is okay, well
that's just physically. Emotionally,
I have no idea and he doesnt
seem like he is ready to talk
about his emotions. Mentally, he
still has bad dreams so I guess
that part isn't fully healed. He
still just wakes up in a foul mood
and locks himself up in his office.
The day after his drama with
Gagashe went back to Durban
and his mom came with. I
haven't seen Gagashe since that
day and I doubt he has seen him
too. It was so sad and such a
bummer that I couldnt attend
Buhle's bachelorette party but
however I got to see the videos
and it seemed like so much fun. I
honestly feel very skeptical about
this wedding because of what I
know and what I've seen but
none of the participants involved
in this affair seem very chilled
and okay with this wedding
happening. I haven't seen them
together but it doesn't mean
they are not together anymore,
for the past days Buhle seemed
pretty excited about the wedding
and didn't show any hesitations
whatsoever about being in a
relationship with Vusi. Khetho on
the other side told me that
Menzi is looking forward to the
wedding to, he apologized for the
way he came about with his
entire thing of dating Khetho and
Buhle at the same time. He said
he is happy she is moving on and
he wishes her the best. guess he
was just sorting things out
before he says I Do and he leaves
the fun and carefree life he had
and he becomes a family man.
Kwanele came in looking as
handsome as ever, he was the
best man.
Kwanele: If you're not dressed by
now I guess we're not going to
the wedding anymore. I'm tired of
waiting for you Nosipho
Me: Says the best man, you need
to be there for your brother
Kwanele: I'll tell him you locked me
up in the house and gave me good
sex all day long.
Me: Shut up Kwanele plus don't
speak of such things, there are
kids here.
Kwanele: I don't think they can
hear anything even if they do,
they have no idea what sex is but
they should appreciate it because
it's the reason why they are here
today. The parents love sex, they
are the evidents.
I just chose to keep quiet and
Funeka laughed at his stupid
brother. We finally left the house
and the driver drove us to
Lwazi's house where the wedding
was taking place at the backyard
which I didn't know looked so
spectacular. I heard them talk
about it few times but I've
never got to actually see it.
Lwazi loves gardening thats why
he has such a huge yard filled
with beautiful different types of
flowers and there is a water
fountain in between. It was really
a very beautiful set up of a
spring wedding. Kwanele went to
join the groomsmen who were
already standing at the alter and
we rushed to our seats. The
groom came in and the
bridesmaids followed
Funeka: That ugly girl better not
touch my man!
She wasn't part of the bridal
party, so Ntethe was paired with
Buhle's cousin. She wasn't
impressed but she had to accept
it. Kwanele was paired with Simi
and I didn't mind, we're waay
over that. We stood up as the
bride walked down the aisle, Menzi
looked very nervous but he had a
huge smile on his face. He seemed
very inlove and happy, I've never
seen him like this before. I looked
at Vusi and he also had the same
I'm so inlove and happy face.
This is messed up.
We sat down and the pastor
started off by reading a scripture
from the holy book. I looked
around and spotted Gagashe
sitting next to MaMzobe, they
looked very beautiful. I wonder
how a marriage is, I mean I am
engaged now and I'll be getting
married soon. Will things be
different from just dating? Will
things be intense? I mean I've
seen the ups and downs of
marriage and I've read about
some in books, its no childs play
and having to spend the rest of
your life with this one person is a
big deal. It just seems a little bit
scary and this scam of a wedding
happening right before my eyes
isn't making any justice to the
idea of marriage that I have in
my mind. Nevertheless, the
wedding went on.
Pastor: Is there anyone who has
any reason why these two should
not be husband and wife? Speak
now or forever hold your peace.
Silence
I looked at the entrance. No one
came in and stopped the wedding
like they do in movies.
Silence
I looked at Vusi, he isn't stopping
the wedding.
Silence
Should I say something?
No.
Silence
I looked at Khetho as she stood
at the bridal party and she
shrugged.
We will remain silent and keep this
secret.
Pastor: Okay, we will go on.
They proceeded and said a few
agreements that the paster
mentioned and then he gave them
the platform to say their own
vows.
Menzi: Buhle, you came into my
life at a time where I didn't know
what loving someone was. It was
a time of confusion and loss but
you bared with me and shown me
love which I had never
experienced. I fell inlove with your
calmness and kind heart. I
promise to take care off it, love it
and you in every way possible. I
promise to always cherish you and
remember this day, for I will
make it my mission to make
everyday special like today. I am
not a man of many sweet words
but thank you and I love you.
She wiped her tear off and held
Menzi's hands tighter.
Buhle: Menzi, I loved you from
the day I met you. It wasn't all
rosey from the beginning but
sticking by you seemed worth it
and in the hard times, the love I
received from you kept me going.
Why is she speaking in past
tense? Nosipho, stop over
analysing!...
Buhle: I love you...
Phew! That's present tense
Buhle: And I will always love you
and keep you in my heart because
had I not met you, I wouldnt
have met the love of my life
"Ncooooh"- the audience said.
She let go of his hands and held
his face.
Buhle: It's sad how I've come
this far when I shouldn't have.
We both know where your heart
lies and I know where mine is too.
I thought I could do this and
spend the rest of my life with you
but no. You're not the one I want
to wake up next to each and
everyday. I'm sorry it has come
to this and I did it this way but
my heart is with someone else and
yours too. I can't marry you
Menzi.
The hahs and yohs that came
from the crowd. They were all
shocked, Gagashe was on his feet.
Menzi walked away and his
friends followed him. With Vusi
included, where the hell is he
going? Okay no one knows it's him
but he knows it's him. This is
messed up. Buhle also left, her
mom and MaMzobe followed her.
Simi, Khetho, Ntombi and Thando
came to us.
Thando: Shit! That's all I can say
and I want to get out of this
dress and talk to my bro.
Simi: I have no words!
Ntombi: All I want to know is
who this guy is.
Me: You don't want to know.
Simi: So you know!!
Me: No I don't. I just feel as if it
will be messed up if we knew, you
know.
They looked at me and I just
looked at Lukhanyo. I don't know
what do we all do from here, I
don't even want to be in that
house.
Gunshot!
Gunshot!!
Gunshot!!!
All hell is about to break loose.
Insert 56
We just stood there and froze.
Honestly, I didn't even want to
go see who has been shot. My
heart cannot take any more
heart ache and sadness.
Dad: I'll get rid of the guests.
Nosipho, take the kids home and
stay there. And the others should
go check what's going on.
Mom: I'll leave with the kids, your
friends need you too Nosipho.
What if something happened to
Kwanele or Menzi? You need to go
be with them.
I just nodded and listened to
their instructions. I was dreading
the sight of the mess that has
happened. I helped mom into the
car with the twins and she left
with her friend and Asemahle. I
walked slowly to the house and
everyone was just on panic mode.
The sight of blood on the floor
made me shiver. Buhle's wails and
loud screams made me deaf. I
looked around, all I needed was
just to see him. Where was he?
There he is. Standing there
looking lost.
I looked down, both Menzi and
Vusi were bleeding with guns in
their hands.
So they shot each other?
Zinga: The cars are ready, we
should go before you bleed too
much.
He's here. I didn't even notice
him. He helped Menzi up and
Lwazi helped Vusi up. All along I
was just silent and watching
everything unfold. Buhle's
wedding dress was filled with
blood. She was sitting there
crying and looking lifeless. I don't
know what to do or what to say.
I'm just numb
Kwanele: Nosipho
Me: Kwanele
I went to him and laid my head on
his chest and he kept on kissing
my forehead.
Kwanele: Where are my babies?
Me: They left with my mother.
Kwanele: We're going to the
hospital and I don't know when
I'll be back. Check on Buhle then
go back home. Don't drive, the
driver will pick you up.
He kissed me and they left.
Simi: Buhle, stand up and let's go
get you freshened up
She just sat there not saying
anything.
Me: I don't think she'll be able to
stand up on her own.
We picked her up and she couldn't
even stand properly. She was just
numb. She is someone we don't
know at all, she's just a lost soul.
Me: Pick her hand up
Emihle and I took off her dress
and took her to the bathroom. We
bathed her and made sure she
was clean and dressed.
Ntombi: Drink some water
She nodded and drank a bottle of
water than lied down on the bed
Me: Should we leave you alone and
give you some space?
Buhle: No, I don't want to be
alone.
Khetho: Should I get you
something to eat? There's alot of
food out here that needs to be
eaten
Buhle: Did the guests get some?
Funeka: Yes they did. And there
were left overs.
Buhle: You can bring the food and
we can all eat.
Funeka and Khetho went to get
the food while we sat and waited
for them. After they came back
we laid it on the floor and
indulged.
Buhle: I hope you don't hate me.
Simi: Hate you? No sweetie we
don't.
Buhle: But you don't look at me
the same way that you did
before. I know I messed up and
this circle might fall apart
because of me. Especially the
guy's relationship, I messed it all
up. I didn't know this much
damage could happen, I didn't
know it could even get to this. I
wasn't even thinking straight, I
don't think I was even thinking.
Emihle: You were inlove and
confused
Buhle: I thought I could do it. I
thought I would just continue
with the wedding and get married
to Menzi and forget about Vusi
because what we were doing
wasn't okay but I fell inlove,
deeply inlove with Vusi and lost all
the love I had for Menzi. I
wanted to tell him, I wanted to
tell him a week before the
wedding but the way he was so
excited and happy, I've never
seen him that happy because of
me. I've only seen him that happy
when he was with Khetho. Now
he was happy because of me? He
was giving me the love I longed
for, for such a long time but little
did we both know it was too late.
He was happy and I felt guilty so
I decided to break things off
with Vusi and I'd learn to love
Menzi again, I mean I did do it
before so it wouldn't be difficult
to fall inlove with him again
right? But I was wrong.
Me: But why didn't you tell him
maybe before the wedding
started?
Buhle: Thats what I should've
done. But I went on and walked
down the aisle. My eyes weren't
even looking at him but they were
staring at Vusi. When he said he's
vows, they didn't sound complete.
Right then and there I felt it, he
wasn't my soulmate and I couldnt
go on and say vows I didn't mean.
So I just spoke everything that
was inside my heart. I know I
hurt him but what hurts him
more is that I embarrassed him
publicly. That wasn't my intention
at all but it just happened and
there's no way of going back.
Khetho: The shooting? What
happened?
She breathed in and out. She
wanted to cry but kept it all in.
Buhle: Menzi wanted to kill me.
The two gunshots that fired on
Vusi were meant for me. I don't
know how it happened but when
I opened my eyes he was lying on
the floor bleeding and so was
Menzi. They shot each other.
Menzi wanted to kill me and Vusi
protected me and shot him too.
They shot each other because of
me, I messed up a good
relationship between two friends,
between brothers infact. Menzi
would never shoot Vusi and Vusi
would never shoot Menzi but
because of me, it happened. I
don't know what I would do if one
of them would die or suffer from
a permanent injury, I think I
should just die and their lives
would be more peaceful without
me.
Me: Don't speak like that Buhle.
Yes you messed up big time but
that doesn't mean you deserve to
die. Things might not be sorted
out very easily but eventually
everything will be okay and thing
will fall into place. You never know
what life has in stored for you
and everything happens for a
reason, all of this happened for a
reason and as much as it would
seem like you had control of the
situation and you could've stopped
it, but you couldn't. No one has
the right to judge you, maybe I
would've also done the same thing
had I been in your shoes.
She nodded and ate. I was full,
they had prepared a very nice
meal. Funeka however was still
eating so so much.
Ntombi: And then?
Funeka: What? I'm eating for
two habe.
The screams!!!
Atleast there's something good
about this day.
Me: What a way to announce your
pregnancy
Funeka: I knew you'd ask what's
going on if I ate alot so I just
went with the trick. Took you
long, I'm stuffed!
We laughed at her and
congratulated her. She's crazy,
why couldnt she just say so
instead of stuffing herself with
food yet she's full.
Buhle: Tell Zinga I said thank you
for everything he did today.
Khetho: I'll pass on the message
Emihle: Did you see how dapper he
looked in that black suit? Jeez!!!
You chose well mnganam! Your
phone is ringing ntokazi
It was my phone.
"Nosipho Bilose speaking, hello?"
"Miss Bilose-Zondi, we have
received news and pictures
showing that Mr Kwanele Zondi is
alive. Is this true?"
Shit.!
"Who am I speaking to?" I knew
it very well it was a journalist. I
just needed the name and
company he worked for so I can
sort him out.
"You're speaking to James from
Newsflash blog. Miss Zondi, is Mr
Kwanele alive and why have you
been hiding this? Why did he fake
his death?
Argh!
I ended the call and another call
came through. It was a journalist
again.
Me: I thought we had no media
at the wedding nor did we have
any strangers that would leak
the news about Kwanele being
alive?
Buhle: We didn't.
Simi: And I made sure of that.
The guests didn't even have
their phones with them, that's
how tight security was.
Me: Well someone leaked the news
and pictures.
I looked on the internet and the
drama that unfolded in the
wedding was all there but more
especially "the return of Kwanele
Zondi"
Buhle: Now this is all over the
internet? Menzi will kill me. Now
the whole world will know what
happened
Emihle: I don't think they are
focusing on you. They are focusing
on the alive dead man.
Me: Kwanele will be very angry.
Let me go home and be with my
babies. I'm sure the milk I
pumped has run out.
Buhle: I want to go to my house
too and just lock myself in.
Emihle: We should go check up on
Menzi and Vusi later tonight.
I called Kwanele but he rejected
the call. Okay? What was that
for?
Emihle: let's go, I'll drive.
We left and Simi remained behind.
We dropped off the others at the
apartment and then we went to
my house. We were parked four
houses away because we couldn't
get through.
Me: What the fuck!
Emihle: Seems like there's a whole
lot of journalists here and people
to see if Kwanele is alive. Why are
they even carrying banners and
billboards? Is this some sort of
protest?
Me: I'm pissed off.
I called my mother and she said
they are locked inside the house
and security is tight. Emihle gave
me her phone
Emihle: It's Kwanele
I ended the call with mom and
answered Kwanele
Me: Mbuso
Kwanele: Relax, I didn't reject
your call on purpose. No need for
second name basis
I laughed at him. He knew I was
angry
Kwanele: Seems like I'm all over
the news
Me: We can't even get inside the
house babe.
Kwanele: Just stay where you
are. Someone will come get you.
I'll see you tonight, at the
hospital. I can't come home yet.
No one should see me. Goodbye
He ended the call before I could
say anything. I guess he knows
I'll question him.
Me: Now we sit and wait till
someone fetches us and we make
our way into the house.
Emihle: I feel like we're about to
experience alot of shit.
Me: Tell me about it.
#Kwanele
Death.
They say there is no life after
death. Those who have died have
no way of returning back to life.
But I believe that statement
doesn't comply with those who
are immortal. Those who fall
down but get back up and rise
again. Life, it's true when they
say life is unpredictable. To think
of everything I've been through
you'd swear it is all a lie. The way
I suffered where I was captured
is something I don't wish on
anyone, not even on my worst
enemy. What I went through is
torturous and something I'll
never forget ever in my life, I
didn't get to see it but I felt it.
Feeling is way deeper than seeing.
Its all visualized in my brain and
thier voices are stuck in my head.
But one thing is true and I
swear, they will not live long. In
all my suffering and pain, all I
ever thought about was my
Nosipho. It hurt me so much
that she was under the
impression of me being dead. I
wondered if she cried for me, I
wondered if she even cared. I
mean, she was disgusted by my
actions before I was abducted. As
days went by even I was
disgusted by my actions and the
decisions I made. When you go
through hardships in life, thats
when you start to value the little
things you didn't think they
mattered. You look at life in a
completely different way, you get
to see from the perspective you
refused to see while you were just
making careless decisions. I made
a promise to myself that if I
ever made it out alive, my first
priority would be making sure
Nosipho and my baby happy little
did I know she gave birth to
twins, more blessings. I won't lie,
I was pretty freaked out when I
found out. Hell, I was scared of
being a father to one baby and
now I was a father of two. It
freaked me out but I had to man
up and take responsibility.
Nosipho tells me they look like me,
she wasn't so impressed about
them not looking like her at all.
She's just jealous but I have to
applaud her, she's a super mom. I
know my kids will grow up and look
up to her. I cannot even explain
how I felt when I felt her soft
hands on my face, when she laid
her head on my chest and listened
to my racing heartbeat. Her soft
lips on mine, it felt like I was
alive again, I was home. I want
to just wife her already and make
her mine officially. But as for a
white wedding, I'm not too sure
that I want it. Shit happens, my
brother and my friend are lying on
a hospital bed because of shit
that happened in a white
wedding. What if Nosipho walks
down the aisle and announces she
doesn't want me anymore? What
if she doesn't even show up? I
know she might never do that
but hey, I'm not taking any
chances!
Word on the street is that people
know that I am alive. Whoever
decided to betray me and leak the
news shall be dealt with. I didn't
want anyone knowing about me
being alive just yet, especially my
enemies and the idiots who are
involved in my "fake death" But
what I do know is all hell will
break loose, and that is not
threat, it is a promise.
"Water"
This idiot is up, finally. I was
getting tired of waiting up on him
to wake up. He was just shot, not
slaughtered. I called the nurse
and she attended to him. We have
a private hospital that only our
agents work in so there's no way
anything would be leaked and no
way of anyone finding out where
we are. When you leave this life,
hiding should be your best trait.
Vusi: How is Menzi?
Kwanele: He's good. There was no
internal damage.
There was some silence and then
we laughed.
Me: I can't believe you shot each
other. What the hell man? I
guess this is pretty intense.
Vusi: I'm fucken inlove man
Kwanele: Thee Vusi!! Vusimuzi
Biyela! I don't think I heard
that clearly or maybe I should call
the doctor to do some sort of
check up on you.
Vusi: I'm inlove and the messed
up part is that the woman I'm
inlove with is the same woman my
friend is supposed to be marrying.
How twisted is that? It's shit
man. I mean it wasn't supposed
to happen like this. I don't know,
I expected my first proper
relationship to me smooth sailing
and everyone would be happy for
me and I'd be happy. I am a
happy with her but our
relationship has brought drama
and pain, but this goes to show
how unpredictable life is.
Me: I know man, and we all know
you wouldn't purposely betray
Menzi like that but it escalated
when you guys shot each other.
Vusi: I couldnt let him kill Buhle.
He has every right to be hurt
but killing her isn't an option.
Me: Relationships
Vusi: We should've stayed away
from that shit man. Our player
days should've remained
Me: But Nosipho happened
Vusi: Ay Nosipho really happened.
She came into your life and
changed it for the better. Look
at you now, you're a father of
two. You're blessed man. Anyways,
we haven't got the chance to
talk, what are we doing about
these men who abducted you?
Me: That my friend will need a
meeting and the both of you to
heal properly and all shall be dealt
with. What I also need to find
out is who leaked information
about me being alive.
Vusi: Wtf! We need to get to the
bottom of it. You do know what
this means right?
Me: I know.
Vusi: And when will you tell
Nosipho?
Me: I have no idea but I know
she will be upset. I just want to
tell her after the wedding, I need
us to be married by Saturday, I
know she'll be against it and have
many questions but it has to
happen. If things went my way
we would be going to sign at home
affairs by tomorrow but I know
she'll want to be a bridezilla.
Vusi: Good luck.
Me: Thanks man, let me go check
up on this idiot brother of mine.
I walked to Menzi's ward, we put
them in different wards because
we're not to sure what would
happen if they woke up next to
each other, I mean, what if they
fight and kill each other? They
are both capable of doing such
especially when they are angry so
we are definitely not taking any
chances at all.
Menzi: If you're here to lecture
me or ask me how do I feel just
don't come in at all. If you're here
to mock me and laugh at my pain
then don't come in at all.
Me: I'm here to tell you to shut
up.
Menzi: It can only be Kwanele who
can say that shit.
Me: You know me. How are you
feeling Mr Zondi?
Menzi: A bullet wound isn't
something I'm not used to.
Me: I don't care about that
would. I'm talking about you here
Menzi: I'm fine. How is Vusi?
Me: He's fine. The word is out
about me being alive
Menzi: Thats messed up and how
did that happen?
Me: I'm yet to find out.
I got a call from Nosipho telling
me that they want to come see
Vusi and Menzi. I arranged for
the bodyguards to bring them.
Me: The ladies are coming.
Menzi: With Buhle?
Me: I'm not sure.
Menzi: I don't want to see her. I
don't know what I'll do to her if
I see her so I'd rather not.
Me: To be honest, I don't blame
her for falling inlove with someone
else
Menzi: I don't too because I know
the shitty way I treated her but
falling inlove with my friend? My
brother? What messed up shit is
that? What upsets me more is
how she told me, why did she wait
till the wedding day? Why did she
fucken walk down the aisle?
Me: Only she can answer those
questions. Sooner or later the two
of you have to talk and clear
things out
Menzi: I wish I had chosen
Khetho
Me: But you didn't and you're only
wishing for that because Buhle
messed up. I'm going to be
honest with you whether you like
it or not. You are shit. And don't
you dare try and mess up the
good relationship that Khetho is
in just because your shit with
Buhle got messed up. Don't you
dare use this heartbreak as
something you'll cry about on
Khetho's shoulder and she will feel
sorry for you and get back with
you. Do not mess her up because
of your selfishness.
Menzi: I won't.
Me: I know you Menzi. Stay the
fuck away from Khetho and Buhle
included. You just need to focus on
yourself and healing physically and
emotionally. The two of us know
you're not really that
heartbroken, your ego is just
bruised. You know what they say,
Karma is a bitch, I learnt that
the hard way and so will you.
"Pickle!!"
That can only be Nosipho. I was
attacked by a hug and a thousand
of kisses. She's seems so happy
and inlove. I don't want to tell
her now and break her heart, she
will be crushed and won't even
want to talk to me. I cant tell
her now, I can't afford that at
all. I hope she will understand, I
hope she will still love me, love me
enough to forgive me.

Insert 57
I knew Kwanele was a well-known
man but never did it come to mind
that he is this famous. I mean,
why are all these people here? I
know it's a big story but it's all
just exaggerated, these people
even have banners and billboards
and some are carrying his
pictures, what the fuck for?
Mom: Maybe I should also die and
wake up again so I can be very
famous
My mom is just making a joke out
of all of this.
Emihle: He didn't really die Ma,
and this man was famous way
before this death saga of his so
that's why there's so many
people in here. I don't think if
tables were turned, you'd have so
many people at your house
demanding to see you.
Me: True and its easy for you to
say Emihle, you're used to this life
of fame.
Emihle: I may be known but not
as much as Kwanele. We all know
that, that man is extraordinary
and that's why people love him so
much. He's life is fascinating and
you're lucky to be a part of it. I'm
lucky to even be friends with him
and get to laugh with him.
Me: Okay you're making it seem
like he's a god or something.
Emihle: He's a blindman who can
do almost every thing for himself
and he is very successful and
scary, that my friend makes him
something big.
I laughed and just thought about
my blind man. I remember how I
felt sorry for him when I first
discovered he was blind it seems
like it was a long time ago yet it
was just not so long ago.
Emihle: Done! Let's get going
My breasts were sore, I pumped
so much milk for the twins to
feed on while I'm away. We're
going to the hospital to check up
on Menzi and Vusi. I'm very
thankful that they are both
alive, Buhle wouldn't have been
able to live if one of them
would've died. What she is going
through is something I don't
know how I would've handled.
She's stronger than I am, that's
for sure. One bodyguard came in
and told us we're all set to go. We
got into the car and he drove off.
We use a back exist gate, which I
didn't even know existed, I mean,
this house is too big, I wouldnt
know everything that is in this
place.
Me: I want a car
Emihle: Really? Why?
Me: I don't know, I just want a
new car.
Emihle: It's not like you'll drive it
Me: I will
Emihle: I wanna hear what
Kwanele has to say about that.
What kind of car?
Me: I don't know yet, all I know is
that I want a new car.
She laughed at me and we picked
up the other ladies, Buhle didn't
want to come with and we fully
understood her. When we got to
the hospital, we discovered they
are in different wards
Me: That's weird, I guess they
were avoiding any chances of
them fighting when they woke
up.
Khetho: I'll go see Vusi first then
go to Menzi.
We decided to split and I went to
see Menzi with Emihle and Simi.
My man was with Menzi, I was
so excited to see him, I didn't
realize I missed him so much. I
hugged him tightly and kissed his
cheek.
Me:Hey babe, you seem tense.
Kwanele: Tense? I'm not tense
babe I'm just thinking about the
world finding out about me being
alive that's all.
I nodded and he kissed my
forehead.
Me: And wena mubiza, how are
you feeling?
Menzi: You're talking to the most
handsome man on earth, you do
know your son looks like me so
that means we're both mubizas.
Me: You wish my handsome son
looked like you. You're just ugly
Emihle: He doesn't look that bad
Menzi: Thank you Emihle
Me: Weh don't defend this one.
Emihle: The poor guy is lying on a
hospital bed, have some mercy.
Me: And speaking of this hospital,
why is it so weird?
Kwanele: It's not just any normal
hospital, only agents work her and
come here.
Me: Let me go see Vusi.
Menzi: Let him come here, I want
to see him too.
Oh.
We told the nurses so he can be
brought here. We just stayed in
silence till he was here. We
remained silent just waiting for
them to say something
Ntombi: Okay! Say something you
idiots. We're tired of swallowing
our saliva.
Vusi: You look like shit Menzi
Me: I'm glad I'm not the only one
who sees that
Menzi: I look better than you
that's for sure.
Vusi: I'm sorry brother
Menzi: I'm sorry too
Simi: Ncooh okay enough bromance
now.
Emihle: Kwanele, Nosipho has
something to say
Kwanele: And that is?
Me: Baby, I want to buy a car...
He just kept quiet and didn't say
anything at all... okay, what is
the silence for?
Kwanele: What will you do with a
car?
Me: I'll drive around and just look
at it
Kwanele: You can look at it but
not drive it
Me: But babe
Kwanele: You know you have a
driver for a reason, I don't want
you strapping my babies in the
backseat while you drive around
just galavanting. Mrs, you're a
full-time mom now, thats a full
time job. You don't have time to
drive that's why I hired a driver
for you
Me: Kodwa Kwanele
Kwanele: You will get your car, any
car that you want but you will
have a driver, thats final.
Me: Fine! I don't want the car
anymore.
Emihle: I told you so
Me: Whatever
Kwanele: I know she wants a car
and she will get it. It's the
driving that I'm against and she
knows. Now stop being grumpy.
I laughed at him and he kissed
my forehead. We chilled for a while
and we ordered some food.
Menzi: Where is Buhle?
Ntombi: She's at her house.
Menzi: Mmmh.
Vusi: Don't harm her, if there's
anything you want to do Menzi
rather do it to me not her.
Menzi: I won't harm her, I was
just asking.
Kwanele: We know how you think
and operate so we need to always
check.
Menzi: I won't harm her but I
just want to see her and talk to
her that's all.
Me: I'll call her and tell her to
come
Menzi: The driver should fetch
her, I don't think she's in the
right state for driving.
I called her and she was very
hesistant about coming but she
finally agreed. The driver went to
fetch her and she arrived after
half an hour later. She looked like
a mess, a living but lifeless mess.
Buhle: Sanibona.
Kwanele: Yebo sawbona ntokazi
He said that in such a stern and
scary way. Wtf! I looked at him,
he's going to freak Buhle out.
This isn't the time for him to be
strict.
Lwazi: That was so unnecessary
dude
We all laughed and she just smiled.
She was nervous but I could see
she wanted to go hold Vusi. She
was contemplating her next move
and kept on looking at Menzi.
Menzi: You can go to your man, I
don't mind.
The way she sprinted to Vusi's
bed, it was like she was on a
marathon, he's bed wasn't even
that far from her. She held him
tightly and kissed his face.
Vusi: Really Bunny?
Bunny? Hehe love is in the air.
They kissed and they were both
moaning
Ntethe: Okay stop! We have
adults here.
Kwanele: It's not like you don't
suck each others throats worst
of all you stick your tongue in my
little sisters mouth. Atleast I
don't get to see all that
Menzi: I get to see him spanking
my little sister like how
disgusting is that? Such
disrespect
Ntethe: Why did you barge into
my house nawe? You wanted to
see that hawu plus my wifey
here, your little sister is expecting
a mini me.
Kwanele: It gets worse! You
impregnated my sister you
dochebag, does your father know
about this? I know you're
married and all but that man will
still make things difficult for you
Funeka: I'll tell him soon and
when will you forgive him? He is
your father and you can't always
be saying he is "that man"
Kwanele: He's not my father
Me: Mbuso
Kwanele: Don't go there Nosipho.
And wena Thando, when will you
tell him you're lesbian?
Thando: Are you crazy?
Kwanele: You have many secrets,
that family is just messed up.
Simi: Families are always a mess.
Every family just has its own
drama so you have to forgive your
father and everything will be
back to normal eventually.
Menzi: Can you all excuse us? I
just want to talk to Buhle and
Vusi alone please
We excused them, I wanted to go
home to my babies now. I wanted
to just sleep and rest my body.
Me: Let's go home Kwanele
Kwanele: You know I cannot go
home.
Me: But I want to fall asleep in
your arms tonight
Kwanele: Then you should come to
the safe house with me. Call your
mother and tell her to get ready,
the bodyguards will take them to
the safehouse so our kids can be
with us.
Me: Sounds like a plan
I called mom and told her. After
an hour we were on our way to
this safe house, we travelled for
some time till we got to this
house with a big triple story
house
Me: And who does this house
belong to?
Kwanele: It's our house my love.
Me: Wow okay.
He says its our house when I
didn't even know about it. I
rushed to the car my mom was
using and I took my twins, I've
gotten used to carrying them
both at the same time.
Me: Hello my babies! Mommy
missed you so much!
Kwanele: But they missed me
more
Me: Whatever
We went inside the house and it
was just breathtaking. Ntombi
just couldn't get over the
chandelier that was at the lounge
Kwanele: Our side of the house is
on the last floor, let's go.
We got into the lift and went to
our room, it was co-joined with
the babies room and everything
we needed was there.
Me: Let me feed them and put
them to sleep, they must be
tired.
Kwanele: I'll be downstairs, I
need to talk to Thando. He kissed
me and left.
I sang a song for the little ones
and changed them into their
sleepwear. Luthando fell asleep
first and so did Lukhanyo. I took
a bath and Kwanele was still not
back when I was done. I was
really in the mood for staying up
all night and cuddling, I miss him.
I went to look for him, I heard
his voice coming from one room
which seemed like a study room.
"Kwanele, you need to tell Nosipho.
You know she's going to flip"- Voice
"I know, I just don't know how to
tell her. I just came back and we
are happy, now this will just kill
us."- Kwanele
"Just be honest"- Voice, that was
Thando. What are they talking
about? What is it that Kwanele
wanted to tell me? I suddenly
just felt so anxious, do I walk in
and demand for him to tell me or
do I just walk away?
"Nosipho"
Shit!
I'm busted
"Thando"
Thando: How long have you been
standing here?
Me: Long enough.
Kwanele: Nosipho.
I just walked back to our room
and lied on the bed. I honestly
didn't want to even hear it
anymore. I didn't even want him
near me anymore. I know he was
standing by the door. I could feel
him and he was breathing heavily.
Kwanele: I need to talk to you
Me: I'm sleeping.
Kwanele: I know you're not asleep
okay. Just move over.
He pushed my leg, this guy! I had
spread my body all over the bed so
he won't have any space but he
pushed me mxm. He laid down and
held my face.
Kwanele: You know I love you
MaNdelu. I love you with all my
heart and I love our babies.
Me: I know
Kwanele: And I want to spend
the rest of my life with you and
our little one's. I want us to get
married Nosipho, by the end of
this week.
Me: You are crazy Kwanele, how
will I prepare a wedding in just
4days?
Kwanele: We can go to home
affairs and just sign, and then
we're married just like that.
Me: You know I won't do that.
And what's the rush?
Kwanele: I need to make sure
that you're mine, mine forever
Me: I am yours and I am yours
forever but then rushing this
won't help.
Kwanele: I have to tell you
something
Me: Talk
Kwanele: I need to leave
Me: Leave? Kwanele just talk and
stop saying things half way.
Kwanele: I need to leave and
when I leave I want us to be
married. I want you to have my
surname and I will rest assured
that I you're mine.
Me: Where are you going to? Why
do you have to leave
Kwanele: I need to sort out a few
things. I need to get my revenge
and make sure the people who
made me suffer are dead. I am
not safe here especially since
people know that I am alive, they
will be after me, they will run
away because they know I am
after them.
Me: When will this all end
Kwanele? Kwanele you are a
father now, you have
responsibilities and you have to be
a present father, you cannot just
up and leave.
Kwanele: You will never
understand the things I went
through when I was abducted, I
need to do this and I will do it. I
know it will hurt you and you will
be angry but it's something I
have to do
Me: And if you die?
Kwanele: That's a risk I'm willing
to take. I will die peacefully
knowing that you're well taken
care off, knowing that my kids
are will taken care off and my
wife will make sure that they
have a great life. I will die
peacefully knowing that I
married you and you carried my
surname with pride. Knowing that
my name will never fall.
Me: You are crazy Kwanele, I
swear you just lost your mind.
Kwanele: I am crazy about you
Me: How long will you be away?
Kwanele: Umm I don't know
Me: You can't lie. Just tell me
Kwanele: A year
Me: Fuck you!!
Kwanele: Don't swear! Keep your
voice down and don't speak to me
like that
Me: I will speak to you anyhow,
just get the hell out of this room
and don't come back. Leave and
forget about me, forget about us
and forget about this
engagement. We are not getting
married and forget about us being
together ever again. Get the
fuck out!
Kwanele: Nosipho!!
I was kicking him and pushing
him out of the bed. I don't care
even if he hurts himself, I just
want him to leave. I don't want
anything to do with him, I don't
want to see his face. He will leave
for a year? Who is he leaving me
with? How the hell does he think
I will sit here waiting for him for
a year? An entire year? He will
leave me alone with his babies?
He'd rather just die and never
come back. I heard the door close.
He's gone.
I laid on the bed and hugged my
pillow and cried. How can he do
this? He wants to just up and
leave?
No
He can't do this to me.
He's back. He's kissing my neck. I
closed my eyes and breathed in
and out. The music started
playing. He kissed my neck and
squeezed my thighs
"Never felt so good before. Never
dreamed I would explore.
Makin'love in the positions that
you got me doin'. I never thought
I'd beg for more. Never thought
I'd find a man who can do it again
and again. And then even do it like
once again"
Me: Kwanele stop it
He was caressing my thighs and
grinding his dick on my butt.
Spank!
Me: Aaah!
Kwanele: You have to understand.
Please understand
He's fingers trailing on my honey
pot. My body was feeling warm as
he rubbed his against mine...
He's breath on my neck making me
shiver. Spank!
That made my whole body feel
hot and I was longing for him to
be inside of me already. I missed
him
It's been way to long without
him inside of me. He's fingers
went deep into my virgina, I
moaned and let him explore his
way around my honeypot. I was
wet, so wet he was sliding in and
out just making me feel so good
inside.
Me: Baby!
He was using three fingers.
He was getting deep.
Digging deep inside.
Spank!
Me: Aaaah!!
Kwanele: Ssssh you'll wake the
babies up.
The soft music was still playing
as our breathes were getting
heavy. He turned me around and
spreaded my legs out wide.
"I've never trembled in my life.
Heard about it once or twice. But
now I'm shakin' And I swear the
shakin' feel so nice"
I was literally shaking, my heart
was racing and my knees were
vibrating. I couldn't keep still.
I felt the hot flushes building up.
My whole body was trembling!
Me: Mbuso!! Mbuso!!
Cum.
I reached on orgasm and he
cleaned me up. But he wasn't done
yet. He inserted his fingers and
thrusted.
Kwanele: Forgive me my love, I
need to leave.
Me: Please don't go.
Kwanele: I have to leave. Just
know that I love you
He kissed my neck and he's dick
was sliding in and out.
In and out
He was teasing me on purpose. He
knew I needed him deep inside.
He came in.
I felt him
I've missed him and he thrusted
so deep. He was breathing heavily
and making me feel so good.
"Well, I don't know what I'm
gonna do. Cause I don't want to
be away from you. You shouldn't
have felt so good. Love knows
I've never felt so good.
It's wonderful.
Well there's only one thing I need
to know"
The music filled the room and so
did our moans and groans. My toes
tingling and my knees shaking. We
came and reached our destination
in unison
Me: Please don't go.
"Can I stay with you, babe. For
the rest of the night. Can I stay
with you babe. For the rest of my
life"
He played this song for a reason.
It was expressing the way I felt
and I was in tears. He turned me
around and had me on my knees as
he was taking me from the back.
I was screaming out his name
and he was kissing me all over and
telling me how much he loves me...
Kwanele: I don't want to leave,
but I have to. I will be back, I
will be back for you and we will
spend the rest of our lives
together.
Me: Stay, don't leave me.
Spank!
Thrust
Deep thrust.
Thrust!
My knees were shaking.
"Never felt so weak before. Never
met a man so sure. Of how and
when and where to touch and just
how much. I've never been to
ecstasy but now I'm feeling it.
Over and over and over and over
and over and over again"
Kwanele: Marry me!
We both came and laid on the bed
trying to catch our breaths.
Kwanele: Marry me my love. I beg
you
Me: I'll marry you.
Kwanele: Thank you MaNdelu.
Ngyabonga mfazi wami
Me: I want my car and I will
drive it whenever I want to.
"Whatever I can do for your love.
You just ask and consider it done.
And I'll do anything. Whatever
you want, whenever you need it"
The song kept playing
Kwanele: Whatever you want, you
will get whatever you want.
Me: Whatever I want?
Kwanele: Yes, just name it
Me: Can I stay with you, babe.
For the rest of the night. Can I
stay with you babe. For the rest
of my life?
I sang along with the song and
he kissed me
Kwanele: Give me just one year,
one year and it will all end. I will
be yours for the rest of your life.
As for now, let me stay through
the night. I will stay will you
babe through the end of all time.
"I just want to give it all to you.
More than you could ever expect
me to. I swear whatever you do.
I'll do it three times, Baby, back
to you. I'm good to go. Well,
theres one thing I need to know.
Can I stay with you babe?"
I guess we'll go on and on for the
rest of the night. To make up for
the lost time and the time that
is yet to be lost all over again.
Insert 58
My body was at ease. I could say
I had a great night and a good
morning rest. I woke up very late,
it was almost lunch time and
Kwanele didn't even dare to wake
me up. He was busy playing his
father duties with Kwenzo
assisting him. When I woke up,
they had made a huge mess but
the babies were fed and bathed.
I applaud them for trying. I was
wearing a royal blue cocktail dress,
apparently we're having a family
lunch and rumour has it, Gagashe
will also be here. I wonder how it
will be but I just know it will be
dramatic, there's always drama in
the Zondi family.
Khetho: You look beautiful
Me: Thank you very much
Khetho: Look what I brought for
you!
I laughed at her, she has been
complaining about me not taking
care of my stomach, I haven't
had the time to worry about it.
She bought me a stomach belt, to
tighten up my stomach, it's not
big but its just shabby. I had to
take off my dress and put this
thing on and get dressed again
Me: Hah Khethokuhle ibuhlungu
lento angikwazi nokuphefumula
kahle( Hah Khethokuhle this
thing is painful. I cant even
breath properly.) I don't even
need to put this on
Khetho: Yes you do, you need to
look sexy for your man
Me: My man can't see, he won't
see this stomach of mine
Khetho: He can't see but he can
feel. He'll touch this rag and run.
Now woman up and take the pain.
Me: You're just such a pain in my
life
Khetho: I know now let's go
downstairs, my man is here.
Me: Wuuu!! Our man you mean,
phela I'll never forget the role I
played in you guys getting
together phela wena you just
turned into a mute. You couldn't
even speak! If it wasn't for me,
heh Zinga would be far away
charming those Langelihle girls
Khetho: I'll never hear the end of
this. Now you're a pain in my life!
Me: I'll keep on saying those
words till you get married and I'll
be speaking on behalf of your
friends no futhi I deserve a
special title "the founder of this
relationship"
Khetho: You're just crazy Nosipho.
Let's go
We went downstairs, ey seems like
people went all out. Everyone was
just looking beautiful and very
well dressed.
Me: Sawbona Zinga
He smiled and hugged me.
Zinga: Mawabo, you look beautiful.
And thank you for the invite, I
appreciate it.
Me: You're welcome
He is very well spoken and he has
a very fluent and rich accent, I
wouldnt be shocked if he would
say he studied overseas. As for
the invite,I'm not responsible for
that, I didn't even know there
would be a party. We were just
sipping on our wine when Thando
came running downstairs
screaming and Gagashe was
following her carrying a sjambok,
she wasn't even properly dressed
"What on earth is going on her
father!!"- It was Menzi, he is
here too? When did they get
discharged? Well they do
whatever they want so I'm sure
he just walked out of the
hospital. Thando hid behind
Kwanele. Why is she getting my
man involved? She knows Kwanele
and Gagashe are oil and water
these days.
Gagashe: Unyoko zange azale
wabola amathumbu! You are a
disgrace man! You are a woman,
you're busy ontop of a another
woman! Busy licking and eating
her pussy. WeNtombazane, a man
should be doing that to you not
the other way around.
Sungihlanyisa Thandolwethu.
Shit!
Ntombi came downstairs, she was
walking slowly and crying.
They've been busted. I wonder
what happened, it's not a good
time to ask what happened but
I'm very curious. This I need to
hear. I slowly walked towards her
while they were arguing with
their father. I hugged her and
held her closely
Me: Wtf happened in there?
Ntombi: Don't laugh
Me: I'll try
Ntombi: We were at the
bathroom and Thando was
muffing me, Gagashe saw us, I
think he was watching us for
some time and we didn't see him.
The way I wanted to laugh, but
I couldn't laugh at my cousin, well
atleast not now.
MaMzobe: Kanti kwenzekalani
lana, wena Gagashe wahlezi
ushaya ingane zami?
Sekwenzakaleni manje?( What is
going on here? Gagashe, you're
always hitting my children? What
seems to be the matter now?)
Gagashe: Your daughter is
lesbain. She was busy with that
Mbhele girl, in the bathroom busy
dry humping each other and licking
her private parts.
MaMzobe: Kodwa ke anisafihli
ngani zingane zami? Ubontshisi
busushisa unwayizela kakhulu
yin?(Why couldnt you hide this my
children? Was the clit too hot and
itchy?)
Okay I said I wouldn't laugh just
yet but I couldnt hold it in
anymore. I laughed so hard and
they were all looking at me.
Me: Sorry, I...uhmm..
I looked at Simi, such a traitor.
Why didn't she laugh? We always
laugh together njeh
Gagashe: You knew about this
MaMzobe?
MaMzobe: Babah
Gagashe: Khuluma mfazi ndini!
Kwanele: Okay you will not talk to
my mother like that, I know
you're angry but that doesn't
give you any right to talk to her
that way.
Gagashe: Ngyabona wena
Kwanele usuzibona umdala kunami,
shenxa mfana, ngiseza kuwe.
Namhlanje nizongibona kahle.( I
see, Kwanele you think you're older
than me now, move aside boy, I'm
still coming to you. You will see
what I'm made of,today.) I will
show you.
With that said he went out. He
seemed like the beast I've always
known him to be, even his aura
was just heavy and all over the
place. Kwanele knows not to mess
with him this time, he might
have allowed it once but never
again.
MaMzobe: Go get dress properly
young ladies and come to the
dinning room. Awu Zinga my son,
you always have to witness
drama in this house. I'm sorry for
that young man
Mom: He must know the bad side
before the good. Run while you
still can young man.
My mother though! Zinga laughed
and held Khetho's hand like he
was assuring her that he's here
to stay. It was a really cute
sight to see, I wasn't the only
one who was staring at them and
so was Menzi. I slapped his hand
Menzi: I'm just looking.
Me: You better be
Menzi: Don't worry, I won't do
what you all think I will do. I
know I've been selfish but I'm
learning to be selfless and let
other people be happy.
Me: Good, now come and sit.
Where's that selfish brother of
yours? It seems like you swoped
hearts
Menzi: What has he done now?
Me: You know that's for sure.
Kwanele was already sitting at
the dinning table, I went to sit
next to him and put his napkin on.
The babies were with the
babysitters and we all sat down.
The helpers brought the food to
the table, mmmh I see the chef
went all out. There was so much
food, thank God my stomach is
empty, I see many of my
favourite dishes here.
MaMzobe said a short prayer and
we all dug in. Gagashe came back
followed by my father and Lwazi's
father. They sat down and
MaMzobe dished up for them. I
was feeding Kwanele while I ate,
they all know we eat on one plate,
it's just how I got used to doing
it.
Kwanele: Water please
I gave him a bottle of water and
he drank up. I still don't drink
bottled water, I don't know if I
ever will. I guess I'm just still
traumatized, maybe for life.
Kwanele: What are you thinking
about?
Me: Nothing
Kwanele: I know you. You're
thinking about what I did right?
Me: So you can read minds now?
Kwanele: You could say so. I know
it's something you will never get
over and it's something I will
never forgive myself for. I never
really apologized sincerely for
what I did and to this day I'm
still ashamed of my actions. I am
very sorry Nosipho. I know I
hurt you beyond measure and I
will spend the rest of my life
making it up to you and rectifying
my mistakes.
Me: Okay Kwanele. I love you
Kwanele: I love you too
Buttercup.
After we all finished eating and
Kwenzo had had his three plates,
we went to chill by the lounge
where Gagashe decided to stand
in the middle of all of us and
switched off the t.v.
It's about to go down,that I
know.
Gagashe: I remember when
MaMzobe was pregnant with
Thandolwethu, the doctors said it
was a boy but when the baby was
born, it was a girl. I was so
happy because I already had two
boys, I wanted a girl and indeed I
got what I wanted, my first
princess. I raised her well, she
loved fashion and she dressed up
very well just like she still does.
Never did she ever show any signs
of being a man. Or maybe she only
hid those signs when I was
around but today I stand here
with great disappointment, I feel
as if I failed as a parent but all
of that will be rectified today.
Ntombi, I see you as my daughter
just like each and every one of you
young ladies here, I never
imagined that I would see what
I saw today. I am highly
disappointed and I am sure your
parents would be disappointed
too. It is not my place to let
them know and it is not my place
to deal with you but I will deal
with my own daughter.
I don't even want to imagine
what my uncle and aunt will say,
they are really not the most
accepting and morden parents my
uncle is very strict so I do foresee
a very challenging situation
coming forth.
Gagashe: Kwanele, you and I
have had our hiccups and I
completely understand why you
were angry and why you reacted
that way but asikho lapho. One
thing I will tell you son is that
you will never lay a hand on me nor
will you ever raise your voice at
me do we understand each other?
Silence.
Silence..
Silence..
I hit his lap and he responded
Kwanele: Yebo
Gagashe: Ukhuluma nenja?( Are
you talking to a dog?
Kwanele: Yebo Gagashe Omkhulu
Gagashe: Now, what nonsense am
I hearing? You are leaving for
year?
MaMzobe gasped and looked at
him.
Kwanele: Yeboh Babah
Gagashe: Awungitshele, umfazi
wakho lona nengane zakho
uzishiya noban?( Now tell me, who
are you leaving your wife and kids
with?)
No answer
Gagashe: Mana ngikutshele ke
ndodana, awuyindawo uyezwa?(
Let me tell you something my son,
you're not going anywhere, do you
understand?)
Kwanele: I will have to disobey
your order father, I have to
leave.
Gagashe: You are not boy
anymore, you are a father and you
need to be present in your
children's life and in her life. You
were not present during her
pregnancy and you want to be
absent in the first year that your
kids experience in this world. I
know you cannot see my son and
you won't get to see the best
moments but your presence is
what they need and you will
appreciate the moments you were
present and you will treasure
them. You told the elders you
want to marry Nosipho, you will
marry her and then up and leave?
What image of marriage are you
giving her? What first experience
of marriage are you giving her?
This is not how a man holds his
household and leads his family.
This isn't how things are done
and I as your father, I am here
to guide you and tell you that
what you are doing is wrong and
selfish. What happens when you
leave and she finds someone else?
She is young and very much
attractive and smart, any man
would be happy to have her as a
wife, many men wish to have her
and....
Kwanele: Men like you huh?
Gagashe: I'll let that slide
because I don't blame you for
saying that. You will loose her if
you have this mentality. You are
only blind physically my boy, don't
be blind mentally too. Men out
there are not blind and they will
snatch her if you do not wake up.
I don't want to use harsh words
but it seems as if it is what you
kids need, hard words, hard
actions and a sjambok so you could
be reprimanded. Now you leave for
a year, who do you think will be
taking care of her sexual needs?
You think just because you will put
a ring on her finger she wont
move on and you've got a hold on
her? A ring is just a ring my son,
do not be stupid.
Kwanele was breathing heavily
and squeezing my hand. I don't
know if he was angry or he was
hearing what he's father is
saying and he is changing his mind.
I was happy that Gagashe was
speaking this way and I hope
this man of mine will change his
mind.
Gagashe: Buhle, le oyenzile
ayenziwa kwayona ntombazana. I
don't know if you children think
you live in your own world where
you can just do as you please, you
knew you have an affair with
Vusi, you love Vusi and you fooled
us adults too, we paid lobolo and
your family accepted the money,
we went through doing traditional
ceremonies for you and Menzi and
you did what you did, that my
child is very wrong. Some cases
you need to think who will it
affect and how intense it is. Vusi
and Menzi, since when do brothers
shoot each other? Did I teach
you that nonsense?
Them: No babah
Gagashe: And then? You shoot
each other because of a woman?
Is she the only woman in the
world? Stop being stupid man, I
didn't raise fools. Vusi, where on
earth do you get the audacity to
sleep with your brothers fiance,
worse of all, you fall inlove with
her! Wena Menzi serves you right!
She breaks your heart and now
you want to kill her? What
nonsense is that? No matter
what pain you feel my boy, never
take it out on a woman even if
she inflicted that pain on you,
always remember those words my
son. I found solutions to all these
problems because as a father I
have to help my kids. Kwanele, you
will leave with me but you will only
leave for a week and after you
will come back to your kids and
wife and you will give her the
wedding she deserves, not some
court signing, that was for us not
you youngsters. Buhle and Vusi,
whatever is going on between you,
make it work and don't be
ashamed, Menzi won't do anything
to you and you will not be judged.
Menzi, lick your wounds and get
your life back in track and don't
dare mess things up for other
people. Lastly I have decided the
best solution to deal with this
madness of Thando being lesbain,
I will put an end to it and she will
be a proper woman, who will bare
me grandchildren. I've arranged a
marriage for her and she will be
getting married in two weeks
time. The lobolo negotiations will
take place this weekend
kwaMashu and I expect everyone
there. You are all excused
MaMzobe: Do not do this
Gagashe
Gagashe ignored MaMzobe and he
left. My father and Lwazi's
father were nodding thier heads
in agreement. They stood up and
so did I
Me: Father, you have also agreed
to this madness?
Dad: A father knows best and
this is how I would've handled
things too. She is a woman and
she will perform her womanly
duties. I will inform Ntombis
parents and they will know what
to do with their daughter.
Gagashe has decided with his and
no one will go against his word.
Thando looked defeated, I don't
blame her. I feel for her and I
feel for them. Their love is
perfect and now it's being
challenged this way. The adults
left us alone. I went to take
Luthando as I heard her crying
alot then I went back to the
others. Her father took her and
she was silent, he has that
effect over them.
Ntombi: I've never felt so weak
in my entire life.
Thando: You can say that again. I
don't even know what to say or
what to feel. I'm numb
Ntombi: This is all my fault, I'm
so sorry Thando
Thando: How is this your fault?
If there's anyone to blame it is
me. I shouldn't have loved
woman. Maybe I shouldn't have
loved you, I should've kept it all
to myself and we wouldn't be in
this mess. I shouldn't have
followed you when you went to the
bathroom, maybe we wouldn't
have been caught
Emihle: Argh stop blaming
yourselves. You guys love each
other and there was no way any
of you could've ignored what you
feel for each other. Its a natural
feeling we have no control over.
What we have to do is find a
solution. Find a way to make
Gagashe change his mind
Menzi: He won't change his mind.
Gagashe doesnt change his mind.
Thando is dad's favourite kid, we
all know that, he will do anything
in his power to keep you perfect in
his eyes and everything in his
power for you to be what he
wants you to be. Right now he is
hurt and disappointed and his
decision is to make you what he
wants you to be and for you to
regain your place as his favorite
in his heart.
Khetho: This is messed up
Ntombi: It will be more messed
up once my parents find out
Thando: Let's elope
Kwanele: You know you can't do
that. Gagashe will find you, you
can run but he will find you and
that you know very well my sister.
You know your father more than
any of us do, he will find you.
Thando: Nosipho, dad listens to
you. He has a soft spot for you,
talk to him.
Me: Awu Thando I...
Kwanele: She won't do that! I
don't want her close to Gagashe
Me: This really isn't the time for
your stupid insecurities Kwanele
Simi: True, we'll deal with your
insecurities later. For now, your
fiance there seems to be the only
one who can try talking to
Gagashe. You saw how he's
dismissing his wife and he's not
listening to her, we have to take
advantage of Gagashes feelings,
we have to do this for Thando
and Ntombi
Kwanele: I have to be there
when she talks to him
Lwazi: For what? To make him
feel as if you don't trust him
around your fiance?
Kwanele: Ofcause I don't trust
him around her
Me: You could give me the benefit
of the doubt. That just means
you don't trust me around him
Kwanele: You did let him kiss you
and...
He stopped talking.
I guess that slipped.
So its how he feels.
Me: Wow. Okay Kwanele
Kwanele: I'm sorry
Me: Don't apologize for speaking
your mind. Atleast I know how
you feel now.
Kwanele: That's not what I
meant
Me: I won't talk about this.
I stood up and left. I didn't want
to be around him nor did I even
want to partake in this
conversation anymore. I stood by
the balcony outside and looked at
the trees surrounding this place
"Penny for your thoughts?" I
looked back and it was Gagashe.
Me: I'd sell them for a dollar.
Gagashe: Trouble in paradise?
Me: No. Gagashe, you do know you
will loose your daughter right?
Gagashe: As long as she is still
lesbain then I do not have a
daughter. If she doesnt want to
marry this man then I will disown
her.
Me: Wow. I have no words.
Gagashe: We will remain silent
then
Me: But this is just being selfish
and inconsiderate
Gagashe: I thought you had no
words, you just always amaze me.
Me: We're not there. Do you
honestly think that this will
separate them? They love each
other. Take some time and look at
them, just give them a chance
and you will see how happy your
daughter is. Do you honestly want
her to be unhappy and force her
into a marriage she doesnt want?
A man she doesnt know and
doesn't even love. She doesnt love
men, she loves women, she is your
daughter but just a little
different and just extraordinary.
Are you really willing to just loose
her over this? Are you willing to
let her be unhappy for the rest of
her life all in the name of you just
having a daughter that will bear
you grandchildren? Funeka is
there, she's carrying your
grandchild for crying out loud!
Gagashe: Funeka is pregnant?
That boy didn't even wait, I will
kill him!
Me: Is that all you just heard?
Infact wena babah you're crazy,
I give up on you. Weren't you just
preaching about how you want
grandkids now that one of your
daughters is pregnant, you want
to flip? She's married, what did
you expect? No wonder your
children cannot talk to you, you've
raised them to fear you, that
isn't respect and that isn't the
way to raise your kids. You ruined
your children's lives the day you
decided to play God in their lives
Gagashe: I do everything I do
for their own protection.
Me: Its twisted because this so
called protection only makes them
want to be as far away from you
as possible. Is that what you
want? I know deep down theres a
soft spot in you that wants to
accept your child as she is but
you're just blinded by this I don't
know what mentality it is but you
do need to make things right
before its too late. Before you
loose your children over things
that do not even matter that
much.
Gagashe: I will not have a
lesbian child and thats it.
Me: Okay Gagashe. But
remember my words, you will
regret this.
Gagashe: I won't.
Me: You will.
Gagashe: I won't argue with you.
You're too beautiful when you
angry.
Me: Bye Gagashe.
Gagashe: I'm just teasing. I
know my son will loose his mind if
he would hear me say that. He's
deeply inlove with you
Me: And I am deeply inlove with
him
Gagashe: I always thought I
would have to make an arranged
marriage for him, I never
thought there would be someone
who would accept him and love
him like you have. I'm really
thankful and please, always be by
his side and love him. He can be
stupid I know, he just needs a
little guidance and patience don't
ever give up on him.
Me: See, you have a soft heart.
Try using it on Thando.
Gagashe just smiled and walked
away. I hope he listens before
things blow out of proportion,
before he looses his daughter. I
hope this will be solved,
eventually.

Insert 59
I was irritated and very annoyed,
Kwanele kept on walking around
the entire house. He couldn't keep
still nor was he even talking
about what was bothering him.
Me: If you keep on stomping your
feet and making those annoying
sounds you'll wake the babies up.
Just stop!
Kwanele: Sorry.
I went to bed and left him
standing by the balcony. I closed
my eyes and tried to sleep but he
just came and disturbed me.
Kwanele: Please sit up, I know
you're not asleep
Me: I'm sleeping don't disturb me
Kwanele: Why are you angry?
I looked at him and sighed. I was
angry because something was
wrong with him and he didn't
want to talk to me about it. I
just closed my eyes and I heard
him laugh at little. So he is
enjoying this? Kwanele can be so
annoying at times. He kissed my
nose and he just continued
laughing
Kwanele: I love you.
I ignored him
Kwanele: I know you love me too.
Mxm.
Kwanele: I'm not leaving.
I quickly opened my eyes and
looked at him
Me: What did you say?
Kwanele: It was a joke.
I threw a pillow at him. I was
just so annoyed. He doesnt know
how much he's just hurt me. How
could he just joke about that?
It's not a good joke.
Kwanele: I'm just messing with
you Nosipho come on, just lighten
up and stop being so moody.
Me: I'm not moody I'm upset, you
don't joke with such serious
things. You're playing with my
feelings dude
Kwanele: Dude? Hehe ayke
angisazike. But anyways I'm
really not leaving. I thought
about what dad said and he is
right. I cannot expect you to be
able to cope with two babies
alone, I know you won't exactly be
alone but you need me as much as
the twins need me. I'm sorry
that I even considered leaving
you for that long, I guess I do
need my father to guide me and
the twins need their father too.
We're both new in this parenting
thing and it would be unfair for to
let you play both roles of being a
mother and father. You wouldn't
cope with always living in fear
because you don't know whether
I'm dead or not. Already the
months you spent thinking I'm
dead were torture and I wouldnt
want you to go through that
again. I'm here for my family and
I am here to stay.
Me: I'm glad what your father
said knocked some sense into that
head of yours. I love you
Kwanele: I love you too. But
before you get all excited, I will
leave for just two weeks, there
are things I need to settle and it
is for my own closure and comfort.
It upsets me that I have to
hand over everything to my
father because I wanted to get
revenge. Atleast if I do
something within these two
weeks, I'll have a bit of self
satisfaction
Me: I can work with that
Kwanele: While you at it, while
I'm away, you're busy planning our
wedding. When I get back, exactly
on that Saturday I want to go
see your family and do things the
right way, I want to pay lobola
for you and have to introduced to
the Zondi ancestors officially.
Me: I'll have to cut my little
finger too?
Kwanele: Unfortunately, yes, you'll
have to do so. It's tradition babe
Me: It feels painful already. I will
hire a wedding planner so I can
get the assistance I need. We
should start making a budget and
a list of things that we both
want
Kwanele: There's no budget, I
want you to do what you want
and what will please you. Babe,
I'm just a blind man, I will not
even see all the glitz and glam, I
don't even know what is needed in
a wedding. All I want is just to
say I do and that's it.
Me: I want something very
traditional, yes we will have the
white wedding but I want to
dwell more on the traditional
wedding.
Kwanele: And that you will have
my love. Just do whatever you
want and I can have my input
whenever it's needed.
Me: Thank you
Kwanele: Thank you for loving me
and wanting to spend the rest of
your life with him. Thank you for
trusting me with your heart
Me: Save those sweet words for
the wedding vows.
I kissed him and we made love
then fell asleep in each others
arms. I woke up around midnight,
I just needed something to eat, I
was really hungry
Kwanele: Where are you going?
Me: The kitchen, I'm hungry.
He nodded and continued sleeping.
He's not even being romantic and
coming with me. I checked on the
kids first and they were sleeping.
I went to the kitchen and made a
sandwich. I went to the fridge
and took some juice. The first
room near the kitchen, its door
was opened and the side lamp was
on. I guess someone is also awake,
I don't even know who is using
that room.
I sat down and ate while waiting
for some sort of movement from
someone in that room, I'm lonely
here so it would help if they came
to sit with me. I don't even know
why I got so hungry in the middle
of the night. I checked the time
and it was 00:50. I finished
eating and I washed the dishes I
was using. Let me see who's using
this room, maybe he or she fell
asleep and forgot to close the
door, I hope I don't walk in on
anyone masturbating or having
sex all because of curiousity, they
do say curiousity killed a cat and
I'll be living proof of that.
"Seems like theres no one in this
room." I said to myself as I
walked around. But the bed is
messed up so there was someone
sleeping in here.
"Aaaaaah!!!!!" I screamed as I
saw Thando laying on the floor
lifeless and there was a piece of
paper next to her. Her wrist was
cut, and it was bleeding. In her
hands was a container of pills.
The note read "I'd rather die
than live a lie. I'll always love you
MaKhuboni."
This was a suicide note. She
committed suicide.
No this can't be.
No.
Me: Thandolwethu.
She wasn't answering.
I was numb. I stood up with
tears in my eyes and walked to my
room.
Me: Kwanele
He mumbled something and
continued sleeping
Me: Kwanele!
Kwanele: Come back to bed babe.
I just cried and he woke up.
Kwanele: Why are you crying? Are
you okay?
He put his glasses and stood up.
Me: It's Thandolwethu. She...
she.s not breathing and she's
lying there lifeless.
He walked out of the room. I
went into the other rooms and
woke everyone up.
Funeka: What's going on?
Me: Just follow me okay.
I was crying non-stop, I couldn't
hold back my tears. When we got
to her room, Menzi and Lwazi
were already carrying her body.
Funeka looked at her sister and
just fainted.
Me: Funeka!!! Simi go get some
water
Ntethe: Baby,baby wake up!
Emihle: Do you think we should
wake Ntombi up?
Menzi: No, don't.
Kwanele: When is this damn
ambulance coming!! I don't think
we should wait on it, let's go.
Carry her to the car, Kwenzo, go
t my car keys and drive us to the
hospital
Me: Is she still conscious?
Lwazi: We checked her pulse, its
very faint.
"Who's pulse? What is going on
here?"
Shit.
It's Ntombi. She walked in and
looked around. We remained silent
as she stood there. We were
waiting for her to say something.
I needed her to say something
Kwenzo: We should go.
They left while Ntombi was still
just standing there frozen.
Ntethe carried Funeka and took
her to the hospital too, she was
also unconscious. She's pregnant
and she needs to be monitored. I
went to the outside cottage and
woke my parents up. I told mom
what was going on and she went
to my kids while my father went
to Gagashe. I changed into a
tracksuit and took some clothes
for everyone else, they were all in
their sleepwear when they left.
Emihle: Got everything we need?
Me: Yes.
We got into my car and I drove
off. What Kwanele doesn't know
won't kill him, plus we're in too
much of a crisis for him to worry
about me driving.
Me: Where in the world is this
hospital of theirs?
Emihle: This safehouse is also just
too far.
She put the coordinates of the
hospitals location and we headed
there. We went through security
first and then we were able to go
in. We were shown to the waiting
room they were in and we went
there.
Emihle: How is she?
Menzi: We don't know yet.
Me: And Funeka?
Buhle: She's awake now. Ntethe
is with her
I nodded and looked at my cousin.
She looked so lost and broken.
Emihle: We brought you guys
clothes, just so you can change
the sleepwear.
They thanked us and I went to
sit next to Ntombi.
Me: Come, lets get you changed
and warm.
She nodded. She hasn't uttered a
word since she saw the incident. I
cannot even begin to imagine how
she is feeling right now. She stood
up and we went to the bathrooms
and they changed. We went back
to the waiting room and sat
there silently.
Kwanele: Are you okay?
Me: I should be asking you that.
Kwanele: Don't worry yourself
about me my love. The kids?
Me: With my mom.
He nodded and kissed my forehead.
MaMzobe walked in, she was
already in tears.
MaMzobe: Where is my daughter!!
Where is my daughter!
She was screaming and crying so
much. It was truly just a sad
sight to see. Menzi tried
comforting his mother and telling
her to calm down but she was
having none of it. She was still in
her sleepwear and she had a coat
ontop. She was looking deeply into
my eyes.
MaMzobe: Where is my daughter?
Me: Mah, she's being taken care
of by the doctors. She will be fine
mah come sit down.
She sat down and cried. I couldn't
hold back my tears, seeing her so
broken just made me feel so
emotional. This is her baby, she
gave birth to her and surely this
is hitting her harder than all of
us. My dad walked in followed by
Gagashe and Lwazi's father,
Bab'Vilakazi. They sat down and
it was just all silent. I guess we
were all just silently blaming him
for this, he is to blame.
MaMzobe: Who found her?
Silence.
Silence..
Silence..
Me: I did Mah
Kwanele: What happened?
Me: I woke up and I was very
hungry so I went to the kitchen
to make myself something to eat.
While I was eating I saw that
the door was opened so because of
curiosity I went to look just to
see who is using the room and I'd
close the door but when I got in
there was no one there but the
bed was messy so I looked around.
And then.
I took a deep breath and Kwanele
squeezed my hand. Tears just fell
and I cried
Me:(sniffs) And then I found her
laying on the floor lifeless and her
wrist was bleeding. She had a
container of pills in her hand and
it was empty.
MaMzobe: My daughter
committed suicide.
Me: She left a note
I took it out of my pocket and
gave it to Vusi
Vusi: "I'd rather die than live a
lie. I'll always love you
MaKhuboni."
I looked at Ntombi and she was
still just sitting there silently, she
wasn't crying and she wasn't
speaking. She was just there, her
body is with us but her mind and
soul isn't.
MaMzobe: This is all your fault
Ndodayesizwe!
Gagashe: MaMzobe, baby, I kn....
MaMzobe: Shut up!! Don't say a
word. If anything happens to my
daughter, you will not see the sun
set today I swear.
Gagashe looked defeated. He
looked weak. Everyone was just
not okay.
MaMzobe: Iphi ingane yami?
Where is my Funeka!
Simi: Mah, Funeka fainted and she
is awake now but there doctors
are still keeping her in just so
they can check up on her and the
baby.
MaMzobe: Take me to her
Simi took her to the ward Funeka
was in and she came back with
Ntethe.
Ntethe: Any news?
Vusi: Not yet.
Why weren't we getting any
updates? We've been waiting for
a while now, the wait is killing us.
MaMzobe came back and Funeka
was following her.
Me: You feel better?
She nodded and sat down.
Buhle: I'm going to get some
coffee, anyone wants some?
Kwanele: I do, very strong coffee
please.
Only Kwanele and Khetho wanted
coffee and she went to get some.
The doctor came
Doctor: Family of Thandolwethu
Zondi?
We all stood up and he took off his
glasses. I watch alot of movies,
when a doctor removes glasses,
it's just bad news.
Doctor: We discovered that Miss
Thandolwethu overdosed pills, she
took very strong painkillers, not
only did she do that but she also
cut her risk and the tests show
that she had oil and paraffin in
her body which we assume she
drank before taking the pills and
cutting her risk.
Damn.
Doctor: We did all that we could
but her situation was too severe.
We're very sorry for your loss,
Miss Thandolwethu Zondi did not
make it.
MaMzobe just fainted.
Menzi: Mah!
Too much has happened in just a
space of a few hours.
She's gone. Just like that, she's
gone.
She killed herself, she committed
suicide. She made sure she will die
and not even be saved. She used
various ways of killing herself and
she succeeded. Ntombi stood up
and walked to Gagashe.
She slapped him.
She was also shocked by what she
did but slowly regained her sanity
and she punched him. She was
screaming and crying, Gagashe
held her and she was trying kick
her and break free from his hold.
Lwazi held her and Gagashe bent
down.
Gagashe: My daughter...
Ntombi: You killed her!!! Get out of
here!!
Get out!!
Kwanele: Father, I think it's best
if you just leave.
Gagashe nodded, he stood up and
looked at us then he walked away.
Kwanele: Bab'Blose, Bab'Vilakazi
please leave with him, make sure
he doesnt harm himself. I know
my father, he may go kill himself
right now.
Kwanele: Kwenzo, take the ladies
home not the safe house. Make
sure you pack for everyone and be
ready by 10am.
Kwenzo: Yebo Bhuti
Kwanele: Emihle, drive Nosipho to
the safe house and get the kids
and your mother. We will all meet
at my house at 10. The rest of us
will remain here, mom will be
taken home when she's monitored
and okay. Do we all understand?
Us: Yes.
Kwanele: Nosipho
I went to him and he kissed, it
was deep, it was sincere, it was
full of love. He hugged me and
whispered "I love you" in my ear.
I wanted to just stay in his arms
and let him pour it all out but I
know he won't do that. Right now
he will take charge and lead his
family, he will not show any
emotion but he will want to
remain strong for everyone and I
need to be strong for him too. We
went our separate ways, Emihle
was crying, how does Kwanele
expect her to drive? I took the
keys and drove back to the safe
house.
Me: Mama
Mom: Mama? What is going on? I
know you never even call me
Mama.
She laughed at me as I threw
myself on her and hugged her.
Mom: Okay? What is going on
with you?
Me: I love you.
Mom: I love you too my baby, I
love you too Nosipho. Now tell me
what is going on?
Me: She's gone mom. We lost her
Mom: Oh my children. I'm so
sorry, how's MaMzobe? I need to
be with her
Me: She's at the hospital, she
fainted. We came to fetch you,
we're all going to Kwanele's house.
Where are the babies?
Mom: They're sleeping.
We packed our things and we left
headed to Kwanele's house. It
was just such a morosed
atmosphere, it was just
melancholic and draining. Everyone
was just minding their own
business, packing and crying
silently. Ntombi was asleep, I
wish she could sleep till this is all
over, I don't want to see how
broken she is. The guys arrived
while we were sitting at the
lounge in silence.
Kwanele: Nosipho
He went upstairs and I followed
him. He took off his clothes and
he went to take a shower. I was
just sitting on the bed waiting on
him, I don't even know why he
called me. He finished up and sat
next to me and just held my hand.
Kwanele: My sister is dead
Nosipho
Me: I know babe, I'm so sorry.
Everything will be okay
Kwanele: It's just hard to believe,
it feels so unreal.
Me: It's still fresh and it will
hurt. I need you to know that
I'm here for you and it is okay to
cry Kwanele.
Kwanele: I don't think I have
the tears. She killed herself
Nosipho, she took her own life. I
failed to protect her from herself,
from her own suicidal thoughts
Me: It happened when we least
expected it. Your fathers decision
was hard on her but we all never
thought she could kill herself.
It's not your fault Kwanele, don't
blame yourself.
Kwanele: Thank you for being here
with me
Me: I'll always be here for you my
love.
I hugged him and we went
downstairs. Taxis arrived and we
all packed our things in there and
sorted out our sitting
arrangements. We were all headed
to Mbumbulu. MaMzobe was here
too and my mom was holding her,
she couldnt even stand properly.
This is all just hard, its hard on
everyone and it hurts.
Khetho: I'll sit with Lukhanyo, I
just need a baby's love and energy
around me.
She took Lukhanyo and I held
Luthando.
Khetho: I know her pain, it just
hurts. It just hurts.
I guess it's reminding her of
when she lost her child. It was
just us ladies in this taxi with my
babies and the driver. We sat
silently and drove off. It will be a
long sad journey to Mbumbulu.

Insert 60
My first experience in Mbumbulu
was bitter sweet, okay it was
bitter. I didn't think I'd be back
here so soon especially for such a
sad reason. We arrived here last
night and the atmosphere was
still very sad and melancholic.
Me: Sawbona Bab'Zondi
Zondi: Yeboh sawbona ngane yami,
ngabe konke kuhamba
kahle?(Hello my child, is
everything okay?)
Me: Ay syancenga babah noko
kusaphileka sesingezwa kuni?
Zondi: Ey noma sehlelwa isimo esibi
njeh ngane yami kodwa sobuye
sithini? Kumele sibheke phambili
sipholise izinhliziyo. Hawu waze
wasenza kodwa Thandolwethu
ngane yam. Ake ngiyobona
umfowethu lapha, ngizwa
kuthiwa useyahlanya.(Ay even
though we are facing this
unfortunate situation my child,
what else would we do? We have
to look ahead and put our hearts
at ease. What have you done to
us Thandolwethu. Let me go see
my brother, I heard he has lost
his mind.)
I nodded. He was very different
towards me, everyone here who
was not really a fan of me the
last time we were here was just
different towards me. That's the
thing about death, it brings even
the deadliest enemies together,
even if its for that short time
being, it gives you a change of
heart. Someone died, we can't be
busy hating on one another, all we
could do is just pretend. I got into
my house and sighed. I was
holding my breath, I didn't want
to break down infront of people
rather I do so when I'm alone.
I've been struggling to stop
thinking about how lifeless her
body was when I found her.
Me: Pull yourself together Nosi.
I went to check up on the kids,
we had a babysitter here who
kept an eye on the babies while I
helped around. Kwanele was
against it at first but I reasoned
with him till I got what I
wanted. I mean, I do have to
help around and just sitting and
just looking after the babies will
make me think too much. Atleast
being focused on other things too
and keeping busy will make me
think less. Luthando was awake,
I picked her up and boy was she
heavy!
Me: Baby girl ka mawakhe! You're
growing too much for my liking.
Very soon you'll be a sassy little
diva and I will cry. Mommy doesn't
want you to grow old, I want my
little princess
Zethu: Soon, she will be running
around this house causing chaos
and you will have a headache. My
daughter, she is too naughty, I
even run away from her so I can
get some peace of mind but after
an hour I always miss her.
I laughed at her, Sis Zethu is
the babysitter. She's about
7years older than me but you
wouldn't even tell. Her skin is
flawless and she is so welcoming
and kind, I guess her good heart
doesn't make her age. We sat for
a while as she told us stories
about her daughter and we were
interrupted by Kwanele clearing
his throat. Zethu wanted to hide,
she's so intimated by him, its very
funny.
Kwanele: A word please.
I put Luthando in her cot and
followed my man to our room. I
haven't seen him since we left
Durban, we've only been speaking
on the phone. I stood by the door
and watched him as he took off
his clothes, I followed him around
just picking them up as he threw
them on the floor. I usually bite
his head off when he does this
but not today, not now. I sat on
the bed with his jeans on and had
his hands on his knees, he was
thinking, pensively. I got on the
bed and keeled, I put my arm's on
his shoulders and my lips on his
neck. I kissed him and hugged him
tightly, his broad shoulders are
just such a turn on.
Me: Khuluma nami babah
Kwanele: I think we should stay
permanently in Mbumbulu if you'll
call me in such a respectable and
lovely manner.
Me: What a joke Kwanele
He laughed a little and held my
hand then kissed it. The hand
kissing and forehead kisses are
just always the cutest. We just
sat there, just in silence, well I
was waiting for him to say
something but he wasn't saying
anything. Again he just called me
to just not say anything. I guess
he just wants me to be around
him.
Kwanele: Let me shower.
I laid on the bed and waited for
him. I was tempted to join him
but I don't think we're allowed to
be having sex at such a crucial
time especially since we're now
here in Mbumbulu. He stood by
the door dripping wet and so sexy.
I swear I was getting horny by
just looking at him. I took a towel
and dried him up, I wasn't going
to fall for his temptations. I
lotioned his body and took out
some clothes for him.
Me: Let's get you dressed up
Kwanele: You do know that I can
do that on my own?
Me: I know.
Kwanele: Then back off.
Ouch.
Damn...
What the fuck was that for? He
didn't have to be so rude. He
dressed himself up and went out
to the balcony and smoked.
The last time I saw him smoke
was when I was still working for
him as his chef. All of this is just
foreign to me.
Kwanele: I'm sorry. I'd just like
to be alone please
I stood up and went to him,
kissed his cheek and let him be.
When I got back to the kids room
they were both asleep so I went
to the main house. Everyone was
busy with cooking, I looked at
MaMzobe and she laughed, I
don't know why she's here when
she's supposed to be on the
mattress.
MaMzobe: You can peel the
potatoes
We laughed because it is what I
did the last time I helped with
cooking. I went to the spot we
sat at, I thought about how she
didn't even want to do this. I
went to the tanks and got some
water, it got me thinking of when
I caught Vusi and Buhle. I went
back and sat alone, the last time
I was sitting with Thando yet
this time we're here for her
burial. I finished peeling the first
bag and moved onto the next.
"Need any help?"
I looked at him and smiled.
Me: You can help but I don't know
how it will look to these people, a
man peeling potatoes, outside?
They are very gender
stereotypical but who's to blame
them? They grew up like this.
Zinga: And we grew up
differently, where theres gender
equality and what do you call this,
fe?? Uhm
Me: Feminism
Zinga: Yes that's it.
We laughed and he sat down.
Zinga: I'm worried about Khetho,
I understand she's lost her friend
but I just feel as if there's more
to it and she's not talking to me.
Me: I will tell you this, there is
more to it but she will tell you
when she is ready. Khetho has
been through alot, I'm amazed
you don't know about it since it
was all over social media and the
news but then she will tell you
when she's ready
Zinga: I'm not really that
interested in social media but I'll
take your word and just wait for
her to open up to me. I guess it's
still early in the relationship so
maybe she's not ready yet.
Me: Yes maybe thats it. Us
women deal with things in
different ways and we open up in
different paces maybe she's just
waiting for what she feels is the
right time, maybe she just wants
to see where this is going then
open about about her deepest
tragedy.
Zinga: I guess so. You're her
friend and I trust you so I know
you won't lead astray.
Me: You're not really even helping
me here
He laughed. I peeled and he just
took the potatoes and put them
in a bucket of water.
Zinga: I don't really know how to
peel potatoes. I don't know my
way around the kitchen
I laughed at him and we
continued cooking, he was really
just so into Khetho, it was such a
beuatiful thing, all he ever talks
about is Khetho. I wonder if
Kwanele talks about me? I just
wonder.
Zinga: And you? Are you okay? You
seem like you're not even here
Me: I'm just thinking, does
Kwanele ever talk about me?
He laughed and looked at me.
Zinga: I'm surprised you're even
asking. I haven't been around him
that much but the few times
I've spent with him, every
30minutes he'll say something
about you. There's this one time
where Vusi said he shouldn't say
the name "Nosipho" and Ntethe
shouldn't say "Funeka" for just
two hours, they failed, dismally. So
we fined them
I laughed at him, it was hard to
believe but he was genuine and I
didn't see a reason why he would
lie.
Zinga: He loves you, he actually
inspires me so much. I've never
seen a blind man who does so much
for himself, it's indeed just so
amazing. At first I didn't believe
it when Khetho told me he is
blind, I was still wondering why
this guy is always wearing black
glasses and when she told me I
was indenial. He is an
extraordinary man, I look up to
him.
Me: I'm sure he would be happy
to hear that.
Zinga: I think we're done here, or
do you need more?
Me: No we're done.
He carried the buckets to the
main house while I cleared up
where we were working.
Zinga: Let me help you with that
I almost fell and he held me
Zinga: Be careful
Me: Thank you.
Someone cleared their throat and
we looked back.
Zinga: Gagashe
Gagashe: Mthethwa
Zinga: I'll leave you too and thank
you for the talk Nosipho, I'll take
your advice.
Me: Thank you for trying to help
me.
He laughed and left. I looked at
Gagashe, the poor man wasn't
himself.
Gagashe: Can we talk?
Me: Sure. You can sit or stand
Gagashe: I'll tell that boy to
bring us some chairs, I won't sit
on this cement.
Me: Arrogant aren't we?
Gagashe: Whatever you decide to
call it. I have money and I
bought chairs so I will sit on
them.
I rolled my eyes and he looked at
me. Indeed he sent a young boy to
fetch chairs.
Me: Thank you boy
Gagashe didn't even say thank
you. I looked at him and he just
shrugged. This man!
Gagashe: I guess you also hate
me just like everyone else in this
yard.
Me: If I hated you I wouldn't be
sitting here with you. And they
don't hate you, we're all just
upset and hurt, this happened
too quickly and we're still trying to
adjust and accept that she is
really gone.
Gagashe: I killed my daughter
Me: You didn't kill her but your
actions did. I wish you had
listened to me
Gagashe: I did listen to you and I
was certain that I would change
my decision and allow them to do
this lesbian thing I don't
understand. I even downloaded
this book on the internet
He took out his phone and showed
me, he had downloaded a book its
tittle was "how to accept your
gay child" I laughed at him a
little, it was actually just a cute
gesture.
Gagashe: But I didn't want to
tell her just yet, because I
wanted to punish her just a little,
she had to know that I was
angry but I guess that didn't
work out for me. I should have
talked to her after talking to you
but I didn't. My Thando was
tough, that girl argued with me,
no child of mine was able to stand
up and tell me my shit as it is.
She had guts and she was strong,
I knew she was going to fight my
decision but she didn't, instead
she took the easy way out by
killing herself. I guess we all have
our weaknesses, situations where
we're willing to just give in, even
if it means taking our own lives
and I guess this was my childs
weakeness and I didn't see that.
Were they really inlove?
Me: So inlove, I envied their love
so much. It was sweet and
powerful, it was something we
only read about in novels, it was
out of this world. They were
really happy, she was really
happy.
Gagashe: I wish I would've seen
them or something, I could've
suspected something was up. It
all came as I shock when they
were busy sucking each other
Me: Its called muffing
Gagashe: Yes muffing, it angered
me so much.
Me: You reacted like any black
parent would. It's hard for
parents to accept that their
children are gay. It's just sad
that your reaction messed things
up. It's too late now, she's gone
and we have to bury her and try
moving on.
Gagashe: I don't think I'll ever
be able to move on. My wife
wants nothing to do with me. She
said she will divorce me
Me: She's still angry and that's
understandable.
Gagashe: It's just hard
Me: Konke kuzolunga Gagashe
Sis Zethu called me, the twins
needed to be fed. I left him
sitting there and went to attend
the kids.
Sis Zethu: I'll go prepare their
bath water, excuse me.
She left as I was feeding
Lukhanyo.
"I hear you were spending time
with my father."
Shit! I almost dropped my baby.
I was sp frightened
Me: You scared me
He just kept quiet and stood
there clenching his jaw.
Kwanele: Answer me
Me: I wasn't spending time with
your father. We were just talking
like two normal human beings, he
needed someone to talk
Kwanele: And he talked to you
Me: Yes, angith everyone is giving
him a cold shoulder.
Kwanele: And you're being cosy to
your lover
I laughed a little and put my child
on his bed then took Luthando.
Me: I see your father wants to
upset me little one.
He clicked his tongue and carried
Lukhanyo who was crying, he just
wanted his father's attention.
Kwanele: I'm talking to you
Nosipho
Me: And I'm listening Kwanele. I
don't know what you want me to
say because I will definitely not
respond to the nonsense you just
said.
Kwanele: So I speak nonsense
now?
Me: Yaz sthandwa sam, I won't
entertain your anger issues. I
understand it's hard dealing with
the passing of your sister and you
are angry at your father and all
but it doesn't mean you should
take it all out on me.
Sis Zethu came in and I'm very
thankful. I don't want to be
arguing with him about this
nonsense.
Sis Zethu: Its time for a bath
little one's.
Me: I'll help you
Sis Zethu: UMaMzobe uthe
angikubiza sis (MaMzobe said I
should call you sis)
Me: Okay.
I left them there and went to
attend to MaMzobe. As long as
I'm not around Kwanele, it's okay.
She was at the kitchen dishing up
with the ladies and I stood next
to her
Me: You called for me mah
MaMzobe: I need you to give
that man some food then go give
your fiance, I don't know where
he is.
Me: That man?
She pointed at Gagashe who was
still sitting where I left him, he
was all alone there. She can't
even call his name anymore, I
understand her pain but all in all,
I feel like I'm in the middle in
this situation. I nodded and took
his food to him
Me: Here's some food Gagashe
Gagashe: I'm not hungry
Me: MaMzobe said I should bring
you food to eat, you wouldn't want
to hurt her by not eating and she
will be more angry at you
Gagashe: Okay I'll eat. Vusi came
Vusi: Ngingahlala nawe baba?(
May I seat with you father?)
Gagashe: Yebo ungahlala mfana
wam(Yes you may seat my boy)
Atleast someone will seat with
him. I went to take Kwanele's
food. Honestly I was just so not
keen on going to give him and
feeding him, but he must eat. He
was in our room laying on the bed.
Me: I brought your food
Kwanele: I'm not hungry
Me: Okay.
Makes things easier for me. I
turned back with the plate, he
shouted out my name as I was
leaving. I wanted to pretend as if
I didn't hear him and walk about
but what if he is really hungry
but he's just being dramatic
because we're not on good terms?
I went back to him and stood by
the door then cleared my throat.
Kwanele: Maybe I'm a bit hungry.
Me: Sit up.
He sat up and I stood in between
his legs and fed him. I think he
was just chewing slowly on
purpose, he knew I didn't want to
be here and he was taking his
own time.
Kwanele: I'm full.
Me: Juice or beer?
Kwanele: Beer
I went to take a beer for him
and gave it to him.
Kwanele: Thank you
Me: Okay.
I wanted to walk away but he
just held my butt. Really Kwanele?
Me: Let go of me
Kwanele: No.
Me: I'm busy in the kitchen so
just let me go.
Kwanele: Baby I'm sorry
Me: Okay. Now let me go.
Kwanele: You're not mad at me
anymore?
Me: No I'm not.
I smiled a bit, it was just a fake
smile. I know he was just
apologizing because he doesnt
want any tension between us, I
know he isn't over this.
Kwanele: A little kiss for daddy?
I gave him a peck and he
complained. Angithi he said little
kiss? We kissed and he let me go.
I went back to the kitchen and
we washed the dishes with
Khetho and Buhle.
Me: Are you okay Khetho?
She nodded
Me: Zinga is worried about you.
She smiled and giggled a little.
Khetho: He bought me a teddy
bear, chocolates and flowers, just
to try and cheer me up. He is so
clueless on what to do, he
thought he did something wrong,
it was just cute to watch him
fuss and be frustrated until I
told him he didn't do anything but
I'll talk to him once I'm ready. I
can't believe he has no clue, I
mean, my story was all over social
media.
Me: That's what I said to but he
has no idea. He told me he isn't a
social media person
Khetho: He isn't. I forced him to
download so we could be chatting
constantly, he didn't see the need
for it while he can call and send
sms's. I felt defeated
Me: That's so cute.
MaMzobe called me and I went to
her.
MaMzobe: Did he eat?
Me: Gagashe or Kwanele?
MaMzobe: Gagashe
Me: I think so, I left him with
Vusi so he knows if he ate or not.
Why don't you go and check up on
him?
MaMzobe: No.
I looked at her and she smiled
then walked away. There was
noise coming from the gate
Me: What is that?
Buhle: Seems like church people
and more family coming in. It's
going to get crowded here. We
should book a hotel or BnB just in
case we need extra room, I don't
think those men thought of that
though.
Me: I don't think so too. Let me
check with Kwanele
I went back to the house and
found him wrapped in blankets
and sleeping like a baby. I decided
to let him be, he needed the rest.
I went to look for Menzi and
luckily I found them all in one
room
Me: Gentlemen
They greeted back and all eyes
were on me, they were drinking
beers and vodka. If I wasn't
breastfeeding I would be drinking
with them, we all just need alcohol
to numb the pain.
Me: So Buhle suggested we book a
bnb to have more accommodation
for the people, now I wanted to
check if you hadn't done that
already before we do it?
Lwazi: No, we didn't think they'd
be a need for that.
Vusi: We didn't even think of
anything to do with accomodation
and how many people would come.
Please sort it out makoti
I raised a middle finger and they
said they're going to wake
Kwanele up, my man can't even
sleep peacefully because of these
animals. I told Buhle and she
looked for a bnb
"Makoti!!"
Hah I'm so tired of being sent
around. Buhle shouldn't have left
me on my own. It was Bab'Zondi
calling me.
Me: Yebo Baba
Zondi: Could you please fetch two
benches for me in that hut?
Me: Okay baba
Khetho: I'll go with you
She lead the way and opened the
hut.
Khetho: It's so dark in here.
She switched the lights on and
screamed!
Oh God!!
Me: Kwanele!!! Menzi!! Zinga!!
Vusi!!!
I was screaming out loud calling
on them, the hut they were
sitting at was near this one. I
kneeled down and cried.
This can't be happening
Not again and not now. They
came rushing in and went to him.
Gagashe was hanging in the air,
he had hung himself with a rope.
He also committed suicide
No!
Zinga: He's still very conscious
Thank God.
They untied him and he fell to the
ground. Kwanele was standing
there, I could see he was very
angry.
Gagashe coughed and opened his
eyes.
Gagashe: Why didn't you let me
die!
He screamed, he was crying
Guys no, this was just too sad to
watch.
Kwanele: And who will you be
leaving this mess with huh?
Menzi: You're selfish!
They were very angry, they were
spitting fire.
Menzi walked out and they
followed besides Kwanele.
Kwanele: Get out and close the
door, I need to have a word with
my father.
I didn't trust him. He's facial
expression said it all, Kwanele
wanted to beat him up.
Khetho held my hand and pulled
me out then closed the door.
Me: We should stand here,
Kwanele will harm his father.
Khetho: He won't.
We walked away, within just a
few steps away there were loud
groans from Gagashe
Me: I told you kodwa Khetho
We rushed back and Kwanele was
shouting at him, we barged in as
he was about to punch him again.
Me: Kwanele!! Stop it!
Kwanele: I said get out!!
Me: No.
Kwanele: Nosipho!
Khetho was getting really scared
as she pulled away Gagashe and
called back the guys.
Me: Calm down, this is your
father, not your punching bag.
Kwanele: He is wicked!! Who the
fuck does he think he is leaving us
with in this world if he dies?
Isn't it enough that you are the
reason Thando killed herself?
Khuluma Gagashe!!!
I've never seen him like this. I
don't know what to do, he is
spitting fire. I was in tears and
everyone was just silent.
MaMzobe was kneeling by the
door just crying. I'm sure it hurts
to see your family so messed up.
Me: Nondaba.
Kwanele: Ngiyekele Nosipho!
Phuma la ngoba
ngizokulimaza(Leave me alone
Nosipho. Get out because I'll
hurt you)
MaMzobe: Phuma ngane yami,
uzokulimaza. UKwanele usuke
sehlanya mesenje ngane yami
ngiyakucela.(Get out my child, he
will hurt you. He is crazy when he
is like this, please my child)
They were all stepping out as he
was breathing heavily. I don't
think even he could control his
breathing, he was too angry. He
couldn't control it, he was
shivering and hitting walls. And
stumbling just loosing his balance
and calculated steps. He was
holding his head and his veins
were very visible and he was
sweaty. It was as if he is in some
sort of trance and he is
transforming into some beast. I
stood by the door
Should I leave him?
This is the father of my kids, I
can't leave him at this state. I
went closer and my mother pulled
me back
Mom: What are you doing?
Me: I have to help him
MaMzobe: No one can help him
when he is like this. Let him be,
he will calm down.
I walked closer to him. He was
breathing heavily, too heavily for
my liking, it is as if he is having a
heart attack.
Me: Mbuso.
Kwanele: Step.. step back.!!
I stepped closer.
Slap!
What the hell? Did he just slap
me? Awuzwa nawe Nosipho. You
were told he will hurt you but you
didn't listen now you've earned
yourself a slap. I let the tears
flow and went closer to him and
kneeled before him. My
stubbornness couldn't let me just
leave him.
Me: Nondaba, Gagashe, Mancinza,
Nhlab'shile Luqa, Bhambatha,
Wena owancinza isoka labuyela
entombini(Clan names). Baba
wengane zam. Imina umama
wengane zakho, lalela mina baba,
bamba isandla sam, ngivumele
ngikusize, ngivumele.(Father of
my children, it is I, the mother of
your children, listen to me, hold my
hand and let me help you. Let me
He growled and stumbled.
Me: Thatha isandla sam
ngikukhombise indlela. Ngivumele
ngikusize, hlisa ulaka sthandwa
sam. Hlisa ulaka( Take my hand
and let me show you the way. Let
me help you, calm down my love.
Calm down.)
I reached for his hand and he
showed some resistance. I was
scared, trust me I was very
scared. I didn't want to receive
another hot slap or a more severe
beating. I held both his hands
and he didn't resist. I moved
closer to him and put my head on
his chest. He's heart was racing
to fast. If he doesnt calm down
he might have a heart attack or
something. We stayed in that
position for a while until he was a
bit calm.
Me: Stand up and lets go to bed.
You need some rest.
He tried to stand but he couldnt
and we fell.
Ntethe: Let me help you there.
They carried him and I followed
behind them. We got to our room
and they put him in bed.
Me: Thank you.
I took some warm water and a
towel and I wiped his sweat off
and cleaned his eyes. He was so
heavy as I picked him up a bit so
I could take off the tshirt he
was wearing.
Kwanele: Nosipho... I.. Nosipho
I'm...
I know he wanted to apologize
babe slapping me.
Me: Rest my love. All is well, just
get some rest. I'll be right next
to you when you wake up.
He closed his eyes and I cleaned
up and took a quick shower. I
looked at my swollen cheek on the
mirror and sighed.
I went to check on the twins
then went back to the main
house.
Mom: Are you okay my child?
Me: I'm fine Mama
She hugged me and I kissed her
cheek. MaMzobe was sitting on
the mattress and crying.
Me: He's getting some rest mah,
he will be okay. They'll all be okay,
you need to be strong
MaMzobe: I'm not as strong as
you are Nosipho. I cannot do this
Me: You are. You're stronger than
you think, just hold on.
I sat down next to the ladies and
joined in the church service. I
needed to pray for my family, I
needed to pray for myself and
most of all, I needed to pray for
my blind man.

Insert 61
"Jesu ulidwala
Laphakade, akekho munye soze
abikho ofana naye.
Jesu ulidwala
Laphakade, akekho munye
Soze abikho ofana naye."
The choir sang as we sat down on
the mattress.
We sang along
I was in between Khetho and
Funeka. We were all dressed in
black. It was Thando's memorial
service/ night vigil. The mood was
still as it was the past few days.
The entire family was breaking
down and it was just hard to look
at. The choir took their seats and
MaMzobe stood up.
MaMzobe: Today I stand here
feeling very sad and hurt. My
heart is broken, broken beyond
measures. A parent cannot bury
her child, she is supposed to be
burying me. My daughter was just
29years old, she still had alot to
live for and make more of her
dreams come true. When I was
pregnant with Thandolwethu, it
was an amazing journey, I had
the weirdest cravings and my
mood swings were extraordinary.
I had a great experience raising
Thando, she was indeed the most
spontaneous and second most
challenging child, we all know who
the most challenging child was.
We laughed a bit as she looked at
Kwanele.
MaMzobe: Hamba kahle Nondaba,
I will always miss you my dear
daughter and I will always love
you.
She went to sit down next to my
mom and cried on her shoulder.
She did say she won't speak much
because she will breakdown and
say things she doesn't want to
say.
"Singashonaphi? Sisuka kuye,
akekho munye soze abikho ofana
naye."
The choir sang for a while and
then their grandmother stood up
and spoke about her
granddaughter. She also didn't
have much to say and we
proceeded, the entire family spoke
about Thandolwethu and there
was singing and praying going on
for the whole night. I went to
the house around 3am, breastfed
the babies and got some sleep.
The next morning was the day of
the funeral. I only had two hours
of sleep as we had to wake up
very early and make breakfast
for everyone. I was getting
dressed when Kwanele walked me
Me: Did you get any sleep?
Kwanele: No, I'm coming to take a
nap now. You'll wake me up an
hour before the funeral.
Me: Okay
Kwanele: Baby
Me: Yebo sthandwa sam
Kwanele: I'm horny.
I laughed at him and looked at
him.
Me: Sorry
Kwanele: Sorry?
Me: Get some sleep, you'll be okay.
Or better yet, just take a cold
shower.
Kwanele: I have a fiance by the
way.
He stood behind me and held my
ass, then squeezed it.
Kwanele: You're beautiful
That still gets to me, it
sometimes makes me so
emotional. He cannot see me but
he still believes that I'm
beautiful and assures me of it all
the time.
Me: Thank you
He kissed my neck and I giggled.
Me: What if I'm an ugly duckling?
Kwanele: Then you are my ugly
duckling. I love you
Me: I love you too
Kwanele: Not every woman would
tolerate me nor be patient with
me let alone fall inlove and bare
babies for a blind man. You're a
blessing to me and I love you. I'm
sorry that I slapped you, never
did I ever imagine that I would
lay my hand on you, I'll spend the
rest of my life making it up to you
and never again will I lay my hand
on you. I'm sorry
I kissed him and it got intense.
We ended up making love with my
leg up holding onto the sink for
dear life and him penetrating
fast and deep. I was definitely in
cloud 9, it's been a while since we
got intimate and I've missed him
so much. We both reached our
destination and kissed one last
time
Kwanele: Let's shower
Me: Now I have to shower again.
I rolled my eyes and we took an
innocent shower. After finishing
up, I dressed up and he went to
bed. I went to the main house
Me: Sanibona
They greeted back, everyone
seemed tired and they were
working.
Me: Did the decorating company
finish in time?
Funeka: Yes but they are still
busy with the families tent.
I went to check up on them and
they were going to finish up soon.
Everything seemed in order
outside and I went to help with
the cooking, and today, I wasn't
peeling potatoes. I was cooking
beef stew, I had to because the
aunties always make horrible
stew with too much water you
can barely even eat it and enjoy it
so I took the ropes.
Bab'Zondi walked in and stood by
the door.
Him: It smells so good in here, can
I have a plate before we start
the funeral?
Funeka: Hawu malume, no, you will
have a plate when it's lunchtime.
I mean the food isn't even ready
yet. He laughed and proceeded to
where he was actually going.
After a few hours the singing
started
Me: The funeral is about to
start?
Khetho: Yes
Shit. I forgot to go wake this
man up. I rushed to our house
and he was fast asleep.
Me: Baby wake up!
He groaned and didn't want to.
This guy!
Me: Mbuso wake up man, the
funeral is starting already.
Kwanele: And why didnt you wake
me up an hour earlier just like I
asked you to?
Me: I forgot.
Kwanele: I'm not shocked.
Me: Whatever.
He woke up and went to the
bathroom, this guy just showered
again? He is really just wasting
time. I took out his suit for him
and laid it on the bed while he
was shaving his beard.
Me: You do know you're late right?
Kwanele: I know but I do need to
look handsome, I heard there are
alot of ladies there even Thando's
American friends are here maybe
I could score myself a American
second wife
Me: And you should just forget
about marrying me
I clicked my tongue and he
laughed at me
Kwanele: Jealousy doesnt suit you
Buttercup. I helped him get
dressed and my man was very
handsome. Now I wished I could
just keep him in closed doors and
no one should see him, these ladies
will be throwing themselves at
him. I fixed his tie and he looked
amazing.
Me: I love you
Kwanele: I love you too babe
He kissed me and held my hand.
We went out holding hands, I was
a bit shy since people were looking
at us and he didn't even care, I
told him to let go of my hand but
he held it tighter
Kwanele: Baphi oVusi?
Me: I don't know
I called Vusi and he said they are
behind the tent. I took him there
and they looked at me
Me: What?
Lwazi: Why aren't you dressed
yet?
Me: Oh, no I'm still busy in the
kitchen.
I kissed Kwanele and went back
to the kitchen
Buhle: The pots were already
burning and wena you were busy
having a quickie.
Me: What? No I wasn't.
I laughed at them and they were
just looking at me with dirty eyes
Me: Nothing happened really guys
hawu. Funeka and Ntombi went
to get dressed so they can go to
the funeral. We will go once the
food is ready
Simi: I think we should get
dressed too then put on our apron
ontop then continue
Me: Okay
On my way to my house I met my
mother and MaMzobe
Me: Bomama
Mom: Why aren't you dressed?
Me: I'm going to put my dress on
then an apron so I could go back
to the pots.
MaMZobe: Awu ngyabonga my
child, I was nervous about the
aunties cooking for the guests. I
hugged them and went to change.
Sis Zethu was dressing up the
twins.
Me: Hello my babies I've missed
you.
I carried them both and gave
them endless kisses till Lukhanyo
cried, hawu this guy doesn't want
my kisses? I put them down and
went to get dressed, I wore a
long black dress with long sleeves,
sandals and a navy doek on my
head. Put my apron back on and
went to the kitchen. The beef
stew was ready now I had to
start on the chicken and the
salads
Simi: So what can I do?
Me: Please do the potatoe salad,
and then Buhle can you peel the
beetroot
Buhle: Okay.
We were just having a small
conversation when this beautiful
tall girl walked in, she looked like a
model, surely she is.
Her: Greetings ladies
Her accent, she's not South
African at all.
Buhle: Hello
I instantly just didn't like her.
Why though? Simi also responded
her and then they looked at me.
What? Hawu I didn't want to
respond but I did
Me: Hi
I focused on marinating the
chicken and spicing it, the other
pot had chicken with no hardcore
spices.
Her: My name is Shernece. I would
like to help where I can, I'm not
really a fan of funerals so I'd
rather help here.
Me: Well there's nothing much
that's left to do.
Simi: You can do the potato salad
so I can just sit and relax.
Indeed Shernece started working
on the potato salad.
Simi: My name is Simi by the way
and thats Buhle and Nosipho
Shernece: Simi, Buhle and Nosipho,
lovely names. So you're related to
the Zondi family?
Buhle: No but we're Thando's
friends.
Shernece: So you guys know
Kwanele Zondi? I didn't see him in
the tent earlier on.
I looked at her, why does she
want to know about my man?
Simi: We're know him, he's our
friend
Shernece: Well I'm the ex
girlfriend,we dated for 4years,
I'm really excited about seeing
him.
Buhle: Well she is the fiance.
She said with such a stinky
attitude while she looked at me.
I giggled at how she was
suddenly pissed off.
Shernece: Wow
Buhle: And they have kids, twins.
Shernece: Congratulations. He
must be happy, he wasn't really
someone who seemed like he would
be keen on having babies again
after our baby boy was stillborn,
it was really sad, being pregnant
for nine months only to give birth
to a dead baby.
What?
What is she on about? Kwanele
has never told me about that
before? What is she on about?
Simi: Sorry.
Shernece: It's okay
Aunty came in and called us. We
needed to head to the tent and
she would check up on them. We
went to the tent, Menzi's eyes
opened wide when he saw us
coming, surely he was shocked to
see this Shernece. He hit Kwanele
on the shoulder and whispered in
his ears, yes, it has to be about
Shernece. I went to sit next to
him and held his hand.
Me: Shernece says hi.
I said it in a very sarcastic tone
and he didn't respond. Menzi kept
on looking back, I guess he didn't
believe that she was really here.
I focused on what was going on, a
friend of Thando's was speaking,
apparently she is her best friend
from the UK, she's also lesbain,
well judging from the males suit
she is wearing and the endless
piercings on her ears and face.
She has tattoos, she screams
I'm not straight, I saw Gagashe
and Zondi shaking their heads in
disapprovement. This lady was
crying, she couldnt even finish
what she was saying, she made
me so emotional
Her: I didn't think I'd be
standing her burying my friend so
soon. Thando saved me from alot
of things, including commuting
suicide and I wasn't there to
save her. My heart is in pain, I
feel like my entire life is over. I
know she meant alot to many
people but I don't think any of
you understand how much she
meant to me. I love you my friend
and you'll always be in my heart.
She went to sit down and the
pastor proceeded and we sang. I
would like to call upon Miss
Nosipho Bilose also speaking on
behalf of the friends. Why didn't
I know about this? I looked at
them and they smiled. Khetho is
good with this public speaking
thing, why did they pick me?
I stood up and went to stand by
the front. Me: I met Thando
about a year and a few months
ago. She confused me so much but
I looked up to her fashion sense
we all know she dressed very well,
very well. I didn't think we'd be
as close as we were now. She
brought pure joy in our midst and
she was indeed a strange but
very significant person. On behalf
of your friends, your ride or dies,
we will always have you in our
minds and hearts, Siyakuthanda
MaZondi, Lala ngoxolo sthandwa
sethu. She had love, she loved us
and it was so effortless, you could
feel her warmth of love by her
just greeting you. We all cannot
put it in words because words are
not enough to describe how much
love she had and how much we
love her. Most of us feel very
guilty, we couldn't protect her, we
couldn't save her but if she was
here she would say, it wasn't your
choice, it was mine. Therefore
there's no way you could've saved
me. To me, my heart is broken
but it is also at ease. Thank you.
I went back to sit down surely
people wondered why I said my
heart is at ease. But then I
stand on my word, my heart is at
ease.
The funeral proceeded and I
quickly went to to the kitchen. I
finished up the chicken and put
some Mrs Balls on the beetroot
with some chopped apples. Buhle
rushed in while I was busy
Buhle: I think Kwanele needs you
Me: Needs me?
I rushed out.
Me: What's happening?
Buhle: He's talking on behalf of
his siblings and I think he's
having a breakdown again.
Guess what?
When I got there, I stood for a
while and took my seat, Miss
American model Shernece was
standing there with him holding
his hand and a bottle of water.
Who the hell does she think she
is?
Menzi: Don't worry about her
Me: Fuck you
I was pissed off. I caught
MaMzobe looking at me, she
seemed confused and I shrugged.
She giggled and shook her head. I
wonder what's going on in her
mind. When he was done he came
and sat down then drank his
water from the precious Mrs.
I was really angry. He touched my
knee and I removed it. Okay just
breath dear Nosipho. The funeral
proceeded and everything went
well. We served some fruits while
people were sitting enjoying the
service, we couldnt want to
starve the people. The family
went to the burial place while we
went to the kitchen and started
preparing our serving stations.
The family cousins came to help
us and we started serving the
food, we didn't want people to be
linning up for food so we waitered
and serve them in their seats,
there was a special tent for
lunch.
Asemahle: I'm so tired
She took off her heels, I don't
know why she was still in heels
anyway. Mrs America was still
helping us as well. The family
came back and went to sit in the
family tent.
Me: Khetho, lets go set up in the
family tent please, Zodumo please
come help
Shernece: I'll help you.
I nodded and she followed us. I
dished up for everyone and put
Kwanele's plate aside.
Shernece: Don't dish up for
Kwanele, he doesn't eat in public
places.
Me: And you think I don't know
that?
Shernece: I'm sorry, I'm just used
to taking care of him.
I just rolled my eyes and clicked
my tongue. She was just so
irritating. I went to Kwanele
Me: Would you like to eat?
Kwanele: Yes I'll go to our house.
Follow me
I went to take his plate and
went to the house. I didn't even
want to talk to him and he sensed
it. He ate peacefully without even
asking about how I feel or
something. He didn't say anything
at all, I feel as if that irritated
me more.
Me: Juice, water or beer?
Kwanele: Water.
I gave him a glass of water and
took the plate then went back to
the serving stations. I didn't
want to be near this Shernece
girl. We finished up and started
cleaning up. We will be here for a
while, there's so much to do and
that is good because I need to be
away from Kwanele. I went to Sis
Zethus room and fed the babies.
I stayed with them for a while,
I was running away from the
dishes. After an hour I went back
to the cleaning. I wish I hadn't
because I dropped about 10 of
them.
Me: Shit.
Lwazi: It has to be clumsy
Nosipho
Me: Whatever.
He cleaned up my mess while I
was helping him. Once we were
done with everything we went
into the main house and chilled by
the lounge.
Buhle: What is this Shernece girl
still doing here?
Me: I don't know hey
Buhle: Well theres no space, even
the bnb is packed.
Buhle seemed like she hated her
guts just like I did.
Gagashe: Thank you very much
for making the send off a
beautiful ceremony, thank you
MaMzobe and Sis Gugu
He calls my mom Sisi? So weird
Anyways let him continue
Gagashe: Bafana bam,
Ngyabonga. Ladies, the food was
wonderful and so was the decor. I
thank you very much. We're all
exhausted and we need some
sleep, we can all go to our houses
and rooms so we can get some
rest.
Shernece: Thank you very much
for having me today and making
me feel part of the family
however I have to love and leave
you, driving to Joburg will be a
long trip. Is the gate opened?
Bab'Zondi: You can't be driving
this late
Shernece: I don't have a place to
sleep sir and I don't think I can
book at this time.
Ntethe: You can sleep here, surely
we can find space here or the
BnB
Buhle: Its full and there's no
space here.
Me: Yeah we were dealing with
accomodation so we know.
Kwanele:(Clears throat) She can
sleep here. Nosipho and I have
some spare room in our house
We do?
Gagashe: That's sorted then
Shernece: Thank you very much
that's very kind of you but I
don't want to intrude
Kwanele: No, we don't mind. We
wouldnt want you to be driving
this late, its not safe.
Yey! Hello, I do mind!
Why am I not asked if I have a
problem or not about this? These
people want to raise my temper.
Khetho looked at me, she wanted
to just laugh. I was the first to
walk out but I was stopped by
Kwanele calling my name.
Me: Kwanele
Kwanele: Can you please take
Shernece to the house, I need to
talk to my father first.
Breath
Breath Nosipho Breath
Me: Okay. Follow me Shernece.
She followed me, I was walking
really fast, I didn't want her to
say anything to be because I will
be rude. I showed her the room
she will use and I went to see my
babies. They were asleep but I
still carried them, I wanted them
to wake up but they didn't. Even
my kids are turning their backs on
me today.
Shernece: Excuse me, do you have
extra towels?
Me: In your bathroom there's
more towels in the blue cupboard
Shernece: Thank you very much.
Are these your twins?
I nodded and she came closer. She
asked to carry one and I gave her
Lukhanyo.
Me: His name is Lukhanyo
Shernece: He is handsome just like
his father. Maybe this is what
our child would've looked like
Mxm.
I looked at her, this woman is
gorgeous, maybe that's what
upset me more. She put him down
then carried Luthando.
Shernece: Thank you, let me leave
you. You need some rest.
I nodded and she left. I pushed
the babies cots to my room, I
wanted my babies to sleep near
me today. I told Sis Zethu that
I'm taking them. I changed into
pyjamas and got into bed. I was
busy just scrolling on Instagram
when I heard some laughter.
Hehe they are busy playing happy
family? Old lovers catching up I
see. After two long hours Kwanele
came to bed and I pretended to
be asleep. He held me and kissed
my neck.
Kwanele: Baby
I ignored him.
I faked a little snore and he
kissed me again, honestly I
wanted to laugh, I'm not good in
this acting thing.
He mumbled something, he
seemed to be annoyed. I turned
and my elbow hit his face
Kwanele: Fuck! What was that
for?
Me: Sorry
Argh why did I talk?
Kwanele: I knew you weren't
asleep
Me: How can I sleep when you're
busy sucking faces with your ex
and making a loud noise in my
house which I didn't even have a
say in inviting her to sleep over?
Kwanele: Really? You're going to do
this right now. Stop being petty
Me: Petty? Really!
I won't kick him out and send him
to the spare room because he will
be closer to this Shernece floozy.
I took a pillow and the blanket.
Kwanele: What are you doing?
Me: You're sleeping on the couch
Kwanele: Will you stop being crazy
and come back to bed? You'll wake
the kids up
Me: If you don't want to then I'll
sleep on the couch. Thats simple.
Kwanele: You're so jealous
Me: Jealous? Me?
I huffed and slept on the couch.
Kwanele: Just do whatever you
want to do.
Me: Hayboh you'll let me sleep on
the couch?
Kwanele: Since when are you this
dramatic? Angithi you want to
sleep on the couch then do so. I
don't have time for this.
Hawu.
This guy.
I'm so hurt.
Insert 62
I ended up sleeping on the couch,
I was disgusted by Kwanele and
I wasn't going to argue with him
or something. He would have to
realize his own mistakes. I did my
morning routine and took the
babies to Sis Zethu after feeding
them. When I got to the kitchen,
it was a mess.
Me: Good Morning
Shernece: It's a good morning
right? I made breakfast just as
a little token of appreciation for
letting me stay in your house.
Me: I didn't let you stay in my
house. Kwanele let you stay in his
house so that breakfast is for
him plus Kwanele doesn't eat
blueberries you should know about
that since you're used to taking
care of him.
She looked shocked. She didn't
think I had the guts right?
People have been walking all over
my head especially Kwanele. I
looked through my bag and took
out my gun then went to the
kitchen making sure that I sit
right next to her.
Me: Ongitshele vele Shernece
what do you want?
Shernece: What do you mean? I
don't want anything
Me: Sweetie I'm not dumb okay?
I know bitchy snobs like you, just
say it as it is.
Shernece: Well you're wrong.
I nodded and cleaned my gun. She
looked like she was going to piss
on herself. I went to the main
house while I shoved my away.
Me: Morning, where is Buhle?
Simi: She's outside with Vusi.
Me: Pack your bags we're leaving.
We'll leave Funeka behind maybe
one of you should stay with her
Simi: I can stay behind
Khetho: I'll go pack.
I nodded and looked for Buhle, she
was indeed outside by the tanks
with Vusi, this reminds me of the
time I caught them.
Me: Morning, pack up, we're
leaving
Buhle: Thought you'd never ask,
don't worry. I've packed already.
I looked for Emihle and I found
her in Menzi's room.
That's odd.
Me: I didn't think I'd find you
here
Emihle:(giggles) I was ironing his
clothes so I brought them here.
Me: Oh
She looked at me and laughed, the
look I was giving her didn't make
things easy on her. I wonder why.
Me: Well pack up baby we're
leaving.
Menzi: We are?
Me: No, you'll stay with your
selfish brother.
Emihle: No need to say it twice
babygirl, we're off.
She followed me and we went our
separate ways. I got to my
mothers room and thank God she
was with MaMzobe, they are just
newly found best friends.
Me: Sorry to disturb your lovely
giggles mommies.
Mom: No problem my child what
seems to be the matter?
Me: I'm leaving and my friends
are coming with besides Simi and
Funeka.
Mom: Why are you leaving?
MaMzobe: It's that brat
Shernece and Kwanele
Me: Yes mah
MaMzobe: Kwanele is such an
idiot... i thought he was smart
but no, he is just as dumb as
Menzi. Both my boys are just
idiots.
Mom: I saw your face last night
when Kwanele offered her a place
to sleep, my baby wanted to
strangle someone.
MaMzobe: Take a little advice
from me, leave him.
Me: Hawu mah
MaMzobe: Kwanele needs to know
what you're worth. You're always
very kind to him and he has taken
advantage of that. Show him
how his life would be without you
in it.
Me: Okay.
I hugged them and left. I
thought about what she said, It
didn't sit well with me but then
what she was saying made alot of
sense. If I'm going to marry this
man, he must know what I
tolerate and what I do not
tolerate. He must respect my
place in his life and start to
appreciate me more. If he cannot
do this, then I will not marry him.
I cannot put myself in a marriage
where I will have to
accommodate ex's. I went to the
house and thankfully Sis Zethu
had packed for the kids and
Khetho was carrying the babies.
Me: Let me get my suitcase.
Khetho: You won't tell him you're
leaving?
Me: No.
Khetho: She's in your room. Don't
do anything stupid, give me that
gun.
Me: I won't.
I put the gun in my bag and gave
her the bag. I got into the room
and the bitch was sitting on the
couch laughing her ass off while
Kwanele was in the bathroom.
Heheh yaz ngiyalingwa!( I'm
being tested)
I went to the closet, I heard
Kwanele asking if that's
"Nosipho"
Mxm.
I rolled out my suitcase and took
my toiletry bag and make up bag.
Shernece: Seems like she's leaving
Kwanele: Leaving?
I ignored them while I packed my
shoes. He came out of the
bathroom and sat down on the
edge of the bed
Kwanele: Excuse us please
Shernece
Little Mrs America left and I
stood by the door.
Kwanele: Baby why are you doing
this?
Me: Please don't make me crazy
Kwanele it's still very early.
Where's your wallet?
Kwanele: Here
I took his card, what? I need
money. I know I have money in
my card but I want his card.
What will his kids eat?
Kwanele: I'll see you tomorrow.
Who will he see? Shame he thinks
I'm going to his house.
Where will I go? The apartment
won't accommodate the twins?
Kwanele: I love you
Me: Those are just words
Kwanele.
I took my bags and left. Sis
Zethu followed me, she was
leaving with me, she needed a job
and I needed help with the kids,
plus the kids are used to her now
and I like her so she's going to be
my permanent babysitter. We said
our goodbyes as the little boys
put our bags in the taxi.
Me: I forgot we didn't bring our
cars
Zinga: Have a safe trip, I don't
trust your driver
He laughed so hard, who is our
driver? Gosh, its Emihle! She was
even wearing shades, where has
she seen a taxi driver wearing
shades? Can she even drive a
taxi?
Me: Emihle what are doing?
Emihle: Have a little faith in me.
I've done this before.
Khetho: The driver is meeting us
at the petrol station, she's just
having her five minutes of fame.
Me: Thank God
The couples said their goodbyes
and they were cosy and kissing, he
was standing there with his
father and Omega, his cousin. He
didn't even come to say goodbye,
mxm he shouldn't. I miss him.
It's always just good to be
honest with yourself, it makes you
feel better. I miss him and I love
him but I have to do this. We got
into the taxi and Emihle drove off.
She wasn't that bad.
Khetho: He's falling asleep.
You can tell that Khetho has been
a mother, she mothers the twins
so much and they are very fond of
her, she's just their second
mother. She does this mothering
thing so effortlessly. She's just
the best. I took my phone and
looked for available houses which
I can buy and get in a day
Buhle: I don't get why you're
doing that. Just call the estate
agent and buy the damn house
Me: I'm looking for a cheap house
or I should go to one of the
apartments
Buhle: From a big house to an
apartment, wentokazi yidla imali
kaKwanele.
Khetho: I feel so sorry for Vusi.
Buhle: Sometimes you need to dig
deep in that wallet, and just leave
a dent. Plus she's buying a house,
it's a long lasting asset. She's not
wasting the money on pampering
sessions and clothes...
Me: True.
We picked up the driver at the
petrol station and drove off.
Emihle: I was still enjoying being
the taxi queen.
Me" Argh!! I don't have to be
buying any house. I can always
just move back to Langelihle
Khetho: I'll gladly come with
Emihle: Ke wena you just want to
be close to Zinga.
Khetho: Maybe
Buhle: Thats also not a bad idea.
Dear driver, I don't know how
you'll do it or if you even know
where Langelihle is but that's
where we're headed now
Me: We're going there now?
Khetho: Kanti bufunan?(What did
you want)
Me: Nothing it's all just
happening very quickly, let's go.
I took a deep breath and indeed
we headed to Langelihle, luckily
the driver knew where we're
headed. After hours of travelling
to Langelihle we got there and we
were exhausted, so were the
twins. They've been crying for a
while. We got to the house and it
was clean and very welcoming.
It's been a while since we came
here so its all just overwhelming.
Sis Zethu: Let me prepare some
bath water for the twins
Me: Please do.
After I fed them we bathed
them and luckily, they fell asleep.
Sis Zethu: I'll stay with them
while I read this good book. She
loves reading books and its
something she seems really
passionate about. She reminds me
of how passionate I was about
cooking. Maybe its time I focused
on that again and don't loose
myself and what I had dreamed
about, maybe I should just go out
and expand my businesses. I went
outside and we sat by the balcony
just enjoying some coffee.
Me: The fresh air in this place is
always just so amazing and
breath taking.
Emihle: I grew up here but I can
never get over how natural this
place is. It's truly just soothing.
Khetho: Sure is. I told Zinga, he
reacted in a way that made me
feel so emotional. The way he
made love to me was like he was
assuring me that he is not that
monster and never will he ever
hurt me that way. He cried, he
cried for my child, someone he
didn't even know and never
would've got the chance to meet.
I love him guys! I just love him.
Me: This is so cute!!
Emihle: And you, where to from
here?
Me: I want to open a cooking
school, right in Langelihle.
Buhle: Trust Nosipho to just
think of something big
They laughed at me and then
they took me seriously. I have to
go meet with the King and I'm
planning on doing that later
tonight when Emihle goes to say
hi to her family. She said she's
not going to sleep over at all, she
just wants to say hi.
Khetho: You'd swear they kicked
you out of home wena mihle
Emihle: My father kept me
imprisoned for too long, thats why
he doesn't even look for me and
drags me home.
They cooked while I was working
on drawing up a business plan for
my new project and I was
pumping milk for the twins. I
stayed with my kids for an hour
then I got dressed.
Me: How do I look Sis Zethu?
Sis Zethu: You look amazing but
change the earing, they're not
allowing your afro to stand out.
She was right. I took them off
and I was satisfied with the way
I looked.
"The driver is here!! Lets go!!"-
Emihle screamed from downstairs.
I kissed my babies then we went
to the driveway.
"My princess" the driver bowed
and greeted Emihle. I sometimes
forget that she's royalty it only
kicks in when we're in Langelihle.
We got to the royal house and the
maidens welcomed us very politely.
"Dadddy!!!!! Mommy!!! I'm home!!!"
The way her mother ran all the
way from downstairs you'd swear
she was being chased by a dog or
something. She threw herself on
Emihle and they both fell. She
didn't even care, she was kissing
her face, we she kissed
everywhere she could.
Emihle: Geez mom stop
Naye: What? I missed my baby.
Look at you, all grown and glowing.
Siphosenkosi: Sisi what did you
bring for us?
Emihle: Nothing
Buhlebenkosi: Please go back to
wherever you come from. Sawbona
Sis Nosipho
Me: Sawbona Buhlebenkosi
Naye: Argh how rude of me, I
was still so caught up on this
princess here. How are you doing
my dear? So good to see you again
Me: I'm doing very well mah
thank you for asking, I hope
you're doing great too.
King: Are we ever going to see our
lovely daughters or their mother
is still just hogging them up?
This man.
He walked towards us and hugged
us. I have so much respect for
him and he is always just so scary.
We went to the lounge and Naye
offered us drinks.
King: To what do we owe the
pleasure? I know there's a
reason why only Miss Bilose is
here and the entire pack isn't.
Me: You know me well Mr Mkhize,
I do have a business proposal in
hand.
King: We shall go over it after
dinner. I'm very sorry for your
loss, I know how much the death
of a friend can be.
We just nodded. I don't think any
of us wanted to talk about it. We
just want to move on from the
pain and hurt.
Naye: Let us move to the dinner
table please.
We went to the dinning area and
as always there was a feast.
"Well well well, what do we have
here?" He looked at me and I just
smiled. I didn't know what else to
do but just smile at him. I think
we've met before, his name is
Kaitso if I can remember
correctly, they call him KJ.
KJ: Hello
Me: Hi
He smiled and sat down, he was
across me, he was just looking at
me and I was in the hot seat.
King: Behave yourself KJ
KJ: Not when I'm looking at such
a fine lady.
Jnr: You're making her feel very
uncomfortable
KJ: That all works in my favour,
because I'll comfort her
afterwards.
The way I laughed at him. I'm
sorry I just couldn't hold it in.
KJ: And she has a great laugh.
King: You're too old for her
I dished up, I found myself
moving my plate next to Jnr who
was seating next to me. I'm used
to dishing up and sharing with
Kwanele.
Argh get him off your thoughts.
KJ: Love has no age. Plus its been
a while since I got divorced so
this is me moving on, like you've
been telling me to.
Naye: Okay enough talking and
more eating.
He's divorced. I think he was
married to Sbahle, I wonder
what happened...
King: She's married
Engaged, I wanted to correct him
but I didn't want to be rude.
KJ: A wedding ring has never kept
a good man down.
Gosh he's so persistent
King: How are the babies? I'm
sure they've grown
Me: They are doing great and
growing day by day.
KJ: And I can always just be a
great stepfather.
Okay! I laughed at him and he
winked. Why are my cheeks
burning?
King: And how is Mr Zondi?
Me: He....
Kwanele: He can be easily replaced,
Nkosinathi as your wife said. Less
talking and more eating...
This guy!.
We finished up eating and
thankfully he was just silent and
we were at peace, but he kept on
staring at me all the time. I
caught him staring and I looked
straight into his eyes, I wasn't
backing down. That made him
smirk and shake his head. My
phone rang, argh it's Menzi.
Me: I'm sorry, I have to take
this. Excuse me.
I went to the lounge and
answered.
Me: Hello
"You're not home, Nosipho where
are you?"
Mxm its Kwanele.
" Just know that I'm at peace,
safe and happy so are the kids.
Now leave me alone."
"Nosipho just come back home and
we'll talk about this"-He says
"There's nothing to talk about.
Now please, I'm having dinner
you're disturbing me." I ended the
call and went back to the dinning
table. We had desert and I was
sp full! After chilling and having a
few drinks. Nkosinathi called me
to his office and I told him about
my new project which I want to
do in Langelihle. We set up an
appointment for when we will go
see the land he has in mind.
Everything seemed to be going
well so far and I was happy. The
night proceeded and we had to
leave.
Emihle: Family, it was fun while it
lasted but now we have to love
and leave you
Naye: You're not even sleeping
over
Emihle: No we have babies to
take care off.
KJ: Let me walk you out.
I said my goodbyes to the family
and we walked out. I was just
silent, I didn't even know what to
say.
KJ: I'm not as old as he makes it
seem.
Me: Okay
KJ: Tomorrow, we can meet up
for coffee if you're available.
Me: That's fine by me
KJ: Great, have yourself a good
night Nosipho. Remember, you're
beautiful.
Me: Thank you.
He kissed my cheek and left. I
held onto the car door. Gosh!
What is going on here?
This is just so... so... I don't even
know how to explain it. But
persistent is a good word to
describe him.

Insert 63
Buhle: Sipping on fine wine so
early.
Me: I needed something to cheer
me up.
She laughed and joined me in bed.
She played with the twins while
I took a shower.
Me: Have you heard from the
Mbumbulu girls?
Buhle: Ntombi called, they're on
their way to Durban. They
shouted at us for not telling
them we're not even in Durban. So
they'll come here tomorrow
because Ntombi needs the
Langelihle breeze. Its sad hey,
how she hasn't even accepted
that Thando is no more, she
doesnt even cry, she's just a
ghost, I was shocked that she
could even pick up the phone and
call me.
This hit her really hard, not only
did we lose Thando but we also
lost a huge part of Ntombi and it
will take a very long time to get
her back to how she was before
or she never will but she will
discover a new version of herself
but however it ends up, we'll be
there for her every step of the
way. My phone rang and I
answered, I didn't know this
number so I remained silent till
the person spoke, it was KJ
"So you'll go all silent on me?" He
says
"I got a call from a number I
don't know so I wasn't going to
talk first."I replied
"Makes sense. So I'm wondering
around my house trying to make
some breakfast but there's
nothing appetizing here so I put
2 and 2 together and thought
why don't I go out for breakfast
with this lovely lady instead of
coffee?"- he says
Well breakfast doesn't seem like a
bad idea
"Okay that's fine by me."- I
responded. He said he'll pick me
up. I saved his number and quickly
prepared for this breakfast.
Me: I'm not overdressed right?
Khetho: And where I going to?
Me: Breakfast with KJ
Emihle: I thought you're going
out for coffee later
Me: Change of plans, do I look
good?
Them: Yes
I sighed and sat down gulping on
my wine.
Me: What am I doing?
Buhle: You're going out for
breakfast with KJ that's what
you're doing.
Me: I feel so bad I'm going out
with some other man who isn't
my Kwanele. I feel so messed up
and I'm just feeling as if I
shouldn't be doing this. What if
this KJ really likes me and I'm
not even there. What if I'm just
being hard on Kwanele? Why am I
being emotional about this? Why
does life have to be so
complicated?
Emihle: There's nothing
complicated here. You are just
going to have breakfast with a
friend, it's just breakfast and
nothing more its not like you'll be
sucking faces and getting it down.
You're just going out to get your
head of things and have a
different scenery for a change.
Plus if he is in deep and really likes
you, you'll make things clear,
simple as that. You're not being
hard on the and honestly you're
not going anything wrong. You're
not inviting a man in your private
space like he did, you're not being
inconsiderate and selfish. He
should be thankful you're not
going for a fuck or going to get
divorce papers before you even
say I do.
Okay was the last sentence
necessary? We laughed at her and
she realized she was just being
extra, she's been spending too
much time with Simi I see. I felt
less guilty and there was a knock
on the door.
Khetho: I'll get it. I went to see
this guy. She ran downstairs and
I kissed my babies goodbye. He
looked so simple and casual just
like I was, I felt good then.
KJ: Shall we?
Me: Yes we shall.
He took my hand and then he
opened the car door for me. Cute.
He helped me put my seatbelt on
and I thanked him. All this was
just foreign to me. It was a
change, I don't know, maybe I
should be feeling good about this
sudden change and the cute
gesture but it just feels different
and weird.
KJ: You seem distracted
Me: No it's nothing I was just
thinking of my kids. I miss them
already
KJ: Very cute. I'm sure they're as
beautiful as their mother.
I just smiled. We got to the
restaurant and he wanted to
open the door for me but I beat
him to it.
Me: Sorry I'm just not us..... argh
nevermind.
I was going to say I'm just not
used to this. I open my own doors,
he pulled out the chair for me and
I sat down and thanked him.
We're out in public, in a public
restaurant.
Mmmh.
Kwanele and I barely go out to
public places, especially
restaurants because he doesnt
eat in public due to certain
reasons we all know. I've gotten
used to that and I don't think
I'd get a hang of being out in
public restaurants with a man.
It hasn't even been an hour but
I'm already not liking this change
of scenery. In a way I feel like
I'm getting anxiety. I was never
like this before but I've got used
to the life I live with Kwanele
and I've made it my comfort zone
so this is me stepping out of my
comfort zone.
"Earth to Nosipho!"
Shit.
I blacked out.
Me: I'm sorry, I just have alot on
my mind.
KJ: You miss him don't you?
Me: Who?
KJ: Your fiance.
I nodded and sighed.
KJ: Something tells me that's
there trouble in paradise and
you're trying to move on but you
cannot because no matter what
he did wrong, your life isn't
complete without him. Stop
beating yourself up for that
because its a natural feeling, it's
love.
Me: He's just taking advantage of
my kindness
KJ: Did you tell him that? Did you
confront him and make him know
how you feel? Us men just have
little minds, we never want to
admit but we're very stupid.
Surely he saw nothing wrong with
what he did and he's only going
crazy now that you're acting out.
Sbahle used to slap me then she
would scream telling me how she
feels, it actually worked especially
the slap, it wakes you up a bit.
He laughed and sipped on his beer.
He looked like he was still very
much inlove with his ex wife.
Me: What happened?
KJ: Just those love isn't enough
stories. We were always on each
others throats, it as toxic, if we
didn't leave one of us would've
made it out in a coffin if it wasn't
the both of us. Yes I love her and
I always will but her sanity and
happiness comes first, she saw it
fit that we separate so I didn't
fight her. She's happy and
engaged no
Me: I'm so sorry about that.
KJ: Don't worry, I've got it
handled, no one will marry my wife.
Hawu this guy! I found myself
laughing at him. He was just such
good company and he wasn't
there, this was just pure
friendship. Two broken hearted
souls licking each others wounds
by good laughter and good food.
KJ: He's here.
What? I looked around and I saw
him stepping in with Menzi. He
looked, he looked like a mess yet
he was handsome. He was my hot
mess. The sat down and he's body
was facing me. I just got one of
those feelings again, the ones
where I feel like he is looking at
me and I remind myself that the
man is blind.
KJ: Look at you undressing the
poor guy with your eyes. You look
like you just want to ride him
already
I wouldn't really mind but I'm
still very mad. I smacked KJs
hand and laughed. We continued
talking and not being bothered
that he was here, KJ is a good
distraction so I didn't think much
about him even though he was
just at the other table. I wonder
what is going in his mind, is he
angry? Is he jealous? Why isn't
he causing a scene but this is
Kwanele. He does things he's on
way. He's probably waiting for
Menzi to tell him when we kiss or
hug so that he can come and drag
me out of here or he can just sit
there and not do anything but I'll
hear that KJ was beaten up
somewhere or he is dead. Okay
maybe you're overthinking but you
can never know when it comes to
Kwanele, this man is
unpredictable.
KJ: We should leave now, I have a
meeting that I need to get ready
for.
He paid the bill and held my hand
as we walked out. I didn't stop
him at all because I wanted
Menzi to see so that he will tell
his brother. He opened the door
for me and I was enjoying this
mostly because it now had to do
with making Kwanele jealous. He
drove me back to the house
KJ: They're following us. How
about we drive him more insane
I'm just enjoying this so much
I laughed and said yes. He drove
off and we got to his house. Omg
why am I doing this. We got into
the house and he showed me
around. I peeped through the
window and Menzi's car was
parked outside the gate.
KJ: Let me go shower
He went to take a shower while
I watched tv and texted the
girls updating them on what was
going on. Emihle and Buhle were
enjoying this and wanted me to
come home with full details. He
came down with some clothes and
a huge smile on his face.
Me: What are you doing
KJ: Go get changed, these are
Sbahle's clothes and I think
they'll fit you
Me: I'm not wearing your wifes
clothes
KJ: Just do as I say and look at
the bigger picture here. We've
been in here for an hour, that's
enough to have a hot session and
for us to shower and we change.
In that way, he will immediately
think you've moved on and we
shagged, that will literally drive
him nuts.
Me: What if he hurts you?
KJ: I'll take a few punches for
you, I do still like you so it won't
be that bad. I'd be paying for
messing with a married woman
This man is crazy. I laughed at
him and he watched t.v. while I
went to change. I put my clothes
in my bag. We stayed in the house
just to finish off the other hour
and then we got out the house.
Menzi and Kwanele were leaning
on KJs car, Kwanele seemed very
angry.
KJ: We're in shit.
He laughed and held my hand
KJ: Gentlemen to what do I owe
the pleasure? It's not everyday
where I get a visit from the
Noble Zondi men.
Kwanele: Jwara, we meet again.
Sadly this time it isn't on good
circumstances
KJ: What seems to be the
problem?
Kwanele: I believe you have
something precious that belongs
to me
KJ: I believe my force has
nothing to do with your diamonds
Mr Zondi so I don't know if my
boys have stepped into your
territory but I hold my dogs as
long as you hold yours
Kwanele: This isn't about business
Jwara, these are personal
matters
KJ: Make me understand
Kwanele: What are you doing with
my wife? Jwara you of all people
know that you don't mess with
what I love. You don't want me
to put a bullet through your skull
KJ laughes and looks at him
KJ: There wouldn't be a need for
that. Based on what I know you
don't have a wife and she has the
right to do what she wants with
whoever. Plus when she does it,
she does it real good.
Okay! Things were getting tense.
They were pointing guns at each
other. Menzi wasn't even doing
anything about it. I tried to stop
them but it didn't work.
Kwanele: Go to my car Nosipho
KJ: Get in the car Nosipho
Okay really now?
I went to KJs car and got in. I
heard some groaning and
shuffling, I tried to get out of
the car but I was locked in. I
peep through the window and
they were punching each other. I
thought KJ said he wouldn't hit
him! All I could do was watch
through the window till KJ got
into the car and drove off.
Me: And then?
KJ just cracked up in laughter. Is
this guy crazy? Gosh I'm so
pissed off
KJ: I'm sorry okay, I'm just not
capable of watching another man
beat me up. Plus we just
exchanged small punches. Lets go,
I'm even late for my meeting. He
drove off while he was busy
telling me that Kwanele loves me
but he has just done a stupid
mistake. That Shernece isn't
worth loosing such a beautiful
relationship
Me: And when did you talk about
that?
KJ: While we were fighting. We're
communicating as men. You'll never
understand.
Mxm.
He parked and gave me a bunch
of red roses and a gift bag.
Me: And when did you get these?
Thank you very much.
We said our goodbyes, just as I
stepped into the driveway he was
there waiting on me.
Kwanele: This is how you do me
Nosipho!
Me: Sawbona Kwanele
He looked defeated, my poor man,
this wasn't even that much and
it drove him to the edge. I kissed
his cheek and that made him
more angry
Kwanele: You were busy sucking
faces with Jama now you come
and kiss me? You've cheated on
me!
Yess! He fell for the trick. I
couldnt help myself I just laughed
at him and went inside the house.
He came in banging the door.
Khetho: Wuuu, uzobuya naso.
I laughed and went upstairs to
check on my kids. If he wants to
talk to me he has to calm down
then we'll talk. I took off
Sbahle's clothes then took one
long bath. He came in while I was
just relaxing in the water.
Kwanele: Nosipho, may we please
talk?
Me: Okay we'll talk once I'm done.
Kwanele: We can start talking
now. Baby what did I do?
What did he do? Heheh this guy is
testing me.
Me: Where is Shernece?
Kwanele: I don't know she's
probably on her way to
Johannesburg. This is not about
her this is about you going out
with other men! Nosipho who are
you?
Me: Kwanele who are you?
I got out of the bathtub, dried
myself up and lotioned by body. He
was still just standing by the
bathroom door breathing heavily.
I got dressed and Sis Zethu came
in
Sis Zethu: I'm sorry sisi but
Luthando is crying non stop, I
don't know what to do know.
Me: I'm coming
Kwanele followed Sis Zethu, it's
always so fascinating when I look
at him calculating his steps, I
remember he isn't really familiar
with this house. When I get
downstairs, Luthando is peacefully
sleeping in her fathers arms.
She's daddies princess and she
always wants that to be
recognized, I don't blame her, we
all love daddies attention. I
sometimes wish he could see the
fruit of his seed. I wish he could
see how beautiful his children are
and I cannot begin to imagine
how he feels each and everytime
he longs and wishes for that.
Sis Zethu took Luthando then I
sat next to Kwanele.
Me: What did she want?
Kwanele: Money
Me: And you gave her?
Kwanele: She's in trouble and she
came to me for help and I helped
her.
Me: Its your money and I won't
say anything to that but what I
hate is how you just make
decisions without even consulting
me. Kwanele you decided to invite
your ex girlfriend into our home.
She came into our room Kwanele!
Kwanele: I understand you're
upset about that. I didn't even
know it would upset you, I'm
sorry okay I was just helping an
old friend out.
Me: She's not just an old friend,
she is your ex for damn four years.
Why didn't you tell me about her?
Kwanele: I didn't see her as
something important that you
should've known about. Yes I
loved her and we spent for years
together but she doesn't mean
anything to me. I love you and no
one else. Yes I did a stupid
mistake but then you shouldn't be
worried about her, she is nothing
and she's a no body, I don't love
her nor do I even care for her
that way.
Me: You spoke to me in a very bad
manner, you disrespected me and
let me sleep on the couch.
Kwanele: I'm sorry for
disrespecting you and saying
you're petty. But as for you
sleeping on the couch, I felt as if
you were just being very dramatic.
I don't know how to deal with you
when you're being that way, I'm
not used to you being that way
and I, myself was also just pissed
and I know an apology isn't what
you're looking for but I'll make
this right. Nosipho I know your
worth and I acknowledge how my
life would be shit if you weren't in
it. My mother spoke to me, when
she said she wishes you'd leave
me and not look back, that killed
me. That killed me more than
finding out you're with KJ it felt
as if her words were coming true,
I have no life without you and if
I have ever made you feel small
and took advantage of your kind
heart I apologize, I sincerely
apologize and I will rectify my
mistakes. I don't want to wake
up one day and not have you next
to me, knowing very well that you
and my kids have left me. I'm
going through alot and I will not
put the blame on that but on
myself but what I want to do is
say thank you for supporting me
and loving me even when I'm an
ass all the time. Nosipho we've
been through alot, more especially
you've been through alot because
of me and all I want is just to
make you happy.
Me: She told me that she was
pregnant and she gave birth to a
still born.
He stood up and faced the clear
windows.
Gosh.
I hope it has nothing to do with
what I'm thinking.
Me: Kwanele
Kwanele: I was cold hearted
Me: No Kwanele what did you do!
Kwanele: The same poison I gave
you.
Me: She drank it till she gave
birth to a still born baby Kwanele.
Kwanele you killed your own child
Kwanele: Yes.
Gosh.
I was hurt, I was hurt on her
behalf and I was more hurt that
Kwanele was this heartless. Yes
its his past mistake but still, he's
actions were just of pure cruelty
Me: She doesn't know?
Kwanele: And she will never know.
Not that I still love Shernece or
anything but I'm kind to her
because of the guilt I feel. I
know what I did to her and for
that, whenever she is in need I
try by all means to help her not
out of love but out of guilt. She
was hurt and broken when she
lost the baby, she was even
addicted to drugs, and that was
all because I killed her child. I
took her to a rehab, she was just
discharged and she's trying to
pick herself up, the money she
needed, she needed to pay her
debt, she owed the man who
supplied her with drugs. Soon
she's going to move to Zimbabwe,
thats what she wants. She just
wants to be away from her life in
America. I killed the child and I
was wrong, I'm sorry for hurting
you. I know the look you're giving
me, I can feel it all over me.
You're hurt and disappointed but
that was me before you changed
me. I'm sorry
Me: It's not me that you should
be apologizing to.
I held him from the back and
kissed his shoulder. This man.
Me: Before Shernece, did you ever
do it to anyone else?
Kwanele: No.
I nodded and we were in
comfortable silence.
Kwanele: You should go home, I'll
be going back to Mbumbulu. My
uncle's are going to your home
tomorrow morning, we're having
the lobola negotiations tomorrow.
Me: What?
Kwanele: I can make the call if
you don't want to marry me
anymore. I'll be very hurt but I'll
understand. I can't force you to
do something you do not want. All
I want is for you to be happy and
if Jwara is your happiness than
so be it
Me: There's nothing going on
between KJ and I and he was
the one who was busy telling me
to forgive you. He's just someone
I went to breakfast with and it
was just a breath of fresh air.
You know, being with him just the
little hours I spent with him
made me experience something
different. It was a change of
scenery, something I'm not used
to. When someone experiences
some change it should feel good or
it should be something they
always long for but it wasn't. It
didn't feel like home. He isn't my
home, you are. But that also
doesn't mean a home doesn't
collapse and break.
Kwanele: What do you mean
Nosipho? Please stop speaking in
riddles.
Me: What I'm saying is that if
we don't work together to keep
this house a home and keep it
standing than it will collapse and
fall.
Kwanele: Now can I proceed and
send my uncle's to your home?
Me: Yebo Nondaba
Kwanele: Ngyakthanda
Buttercup(I love you Buttercup)
Me: I love you too Pickle.

Insert 64
There are days in life which you
will never forget. Days that mark
a very significant time in your life.
Days that are the stepping stone
into another chapter of your life.
A chapter that we're always
groomed for
A chapter that we always
imagine from a young age.
Today is the day the Zondi's meet
with the Bilose's for my hand in
marriage. I don't know how I feel
about it now that it comes to
reality. By the end of this day,
Kwanele and I will be traditionally
married. Our forefathers will
recognize us as husband and wife.
He has called me his wife before
yet today it will really sink in
because it will be a reality.
Ntombi: Sheshisa wena ufuna
uncane afike lana ungakolungi bese
kuthethiswa mina?(Hurry up, you
want ncane to come in here and
you're not ready yet then she
shouts at me?)
She's been rushing me since she
was told we have to go home. It
was good to see her talking and
laughing a bit again. She's been
happy about the lobola
negotiations, she even bought me
an outfit which I am wearing
today. The negotiations will start
at 11, that's the time that was
set, well I heard from a very
valuable source which is my aunty
who cannot keep her mouth shut.
Apparently they knew about this
waay before I even knew. The
date was set before Thando's
passing yet I only found out
yesterday.
Ntombi: Now lets go have some
breakfast so when Khetho finally
decides to let go of the kids you'll
feed them. She holds my hand as
we walk to the kitchen. I swear
she's treating me as if I cannot
do anything myself.
Me: Morning family
Ncane: Uyashada kodwa usavuka
ngabo 9, ngeke ngithuke mina
abakwaMancinza mabengajika
nezinkomo zama(You're getting
married yet you're still waking up
at 9am, I wouldn't be shocked if
the Mancinza's turn back with
their cows.
I rolled my eyes at her. And who
still brings live cows for lobola
these days? Isn't it all about the
money nowdays? Anyways I don't
know what goes on, on these
things but I just hope everything
goes well. I helped mom finish up
with the baking and the girls
finished up with the cooking. They
came to support me, I'm the only
child and the only girl, I don't
really know some of my cousins
besides Ntombi who is also the
only girl, then she has brothers so
my friends will sit in and
represent "izimbali" of this
household.
Mom: Okay go to your room, all of
you just go sit in your room and
don't make any noise.
Even if we do make noise they
won't here us. My room is
upstairs and very far from the
lounge. When last did I even sleep
in this room? Khetho was still
just cuddling with the twins and
she complained when I took
Lukhanyo and Emihle took
Luthando. My room has a big
glass window so we could see the
outside and we saw the men
coming from their cars, they
seemed like very old men,
Bab'Zondi was there too. The
weather was just awful. It was
hot yet there was alot of wind
and what was strange was the
lightening. My uncle stood by the
gate, it seemed like they were
giving him money and gifts. They
opened the gate for them
Me: That was quick
Simi: It's probably because of
this forever changing weather
Emihle: There's just something
about this weather. It doesnt
feel right
Me: What do you mean?
Emihle: I just having a heavy
feeling. Something isn't right or
maybe its something else.
I was a bit worried. As much as
I've never seen it but she once
told us she has this supernatural
gift. She didn't really explain it
but she has a gift of connecting
with people and seeing things.
She doesnt pay much attenton to
it but she respects it, she
acknowledges it and she knows
she's yet to have a long journey
with it. So hearing her say such
things makes me worry.
Emihle: Don't worry everything
will be okay.
She held my hand and reacted in a
very unpleasant way. She looked
deep in my eyes then gave the
baby to Simi.
Emihle: I'm going to get water in
the other kitchen
Funeka: I'm freaked out
Simi: Me too.
We sat in silence with a little
laughter here and there. Emihle
came back and she was normal
again. The twins fell asleep and I
put them in their bed. Ncane
came in and called us. We covered
ourselves up and kneeled down.
The Zondi's had to choose from
one of us and they picked me,
thank God. I wonder what
happens if they pick the wrong
person? Maybe they pay a fine or
they're are forced to get
married? I was asked if I knew
these people and I said yes. I
went back to the room and these
girls were sipping on brutal fruit
busy dancing around. I sat down
and looked out the window while
we had our endless conversations
Simi: Look they brought live cows.
Hebanna maybe your father asked
for live cows. We looked as some
boy was herding them towards
the gate. There was 11 of them,
isn't that too much? What will
dad even do with cows?
Oh my gosh!
Me: What is going on?
Right before the gate the cows
started slowly falling down and
the thunderstorm and lightening
got stronger. All the cows were
laying dead on the floor. We heard
the hails and screams coming
from downstairs. I looked
through the window as tears
were falling. I saw Menzi and
Vusi coming out of a car that was
parked outside the gate, I didn't
know that car so there's no way
I would've figured it was them,
he came out with Lwazi leading
him to the herd boy. Surely they
were going to ask what was
happening or how this even
happened. I wished I could hear
everything that was going on but
yet, I don't even think I want to
know. The families were both
outside now they seemed like they
were talking, everyone looked
stressed.
I was just defeated. We looked at
Emihle, she was right, something
bad has happened, it wasn't just
a feeling.
Emihle: I have to go speak to the
elders, everything will be okay.
She kissed my forehead and she
left.
Me: It seems like she knows
something.
Buhle: She said everything will be
okay so let's stick to that. If she
could see that there's something
bad and it happened, then it
means if she says everything will
be okay then it really will. Just
have faith
Me: Pass me that unfinished
brutal fruit, I need some alochol.
Khetho: Only because you've
pumped some milk. I don't want
you to feed my babies alcohol.
I rolled my eyes at her and drank.
Buhle's phone rang and she gave
it to me
Buhle: Its Menzi
Me: Menzi
Menzi: Are you okay?
Me: Yes how is Kwanele?
Kwanele: He's worried about you.
He wanted me to check on you,
he's still speaking to his father.
Me: What is going on?
Menzi: If I knew, I would tell you
but for now we don't know.
He ended the call and we sat
there just waiting on I don't
know what. After an hour Emihle
came back and told us we had to
go for a family meeting
downstairs. Sis Zethu stayed
behind with the kids and we went
to the lounge. We sat down on the
grassmats. My man looked so
frustrated, I could see how he
kept on clenching his jaw. I
wonder what is happening.
Emihle's face was just red and
she seemed like she was in some
sort of trance.
I looked at Simi, she looked like
she wanted to run away. After a
while she was silent and just
staring at my parents. My uncle
started speaking
Uncle: I greet you all. We all know
we were gathered here to
negotiate lobola between the
Zondi family and the Bilose family.
Everything was running smoothly
besides the bad weather and the
great tragedy that happened
outside which some witnessed
with both thier live eyes. That
was a sign of something bad
happening, that was a sign
forbidding that these
negotiations. We cannot continue
because we know that our elders
are against this. This is a
matter that needs us all to come
down and try finding out what
seems to be the problem.
Mkhwenyana, we can see that you
are very worried as you should be
and we all are but I will ask again
that we all settle down and solve
this. Thank you
Gagashe: We have called our seer
trying to find out what the
problem is, cows cannot just day in
broad daylight especially on such
an occasion. We all ask for the
Bilose's to also contact and
consult their seer so that we can
solve this quicker.
Emihle sat up and kneeled. Her
hands were shaking a bit. A
message came through on Buhle's
phone and it was Vusi "Is Emihle
a SANGOMA?" With many
thinking faces. I couldn't help but
just laugh. Everyone looked at me
Me: I'm sorry.
Argh why does this always
happen to me. I passed Buhle her
phone and we both looked at Vusi
who mouthed "I'm just curious"
this guy is just something else.
Emihle: I have heard you all. I'm
sure you are wondering why am I
this way and who am I to step
into family matters. I am not a
Zondi neither am I a Bilose nor
am I related to any of these
surnames. Ngizalwa kaMbambo
ngokwegazi kepha ngikhuliswe
uMkhize futhi ngiyinkosazana
yasebukhosini bakwaMkhize.
Nginesipho engazalwa naso
lesipho ngasiphiwa kaMkhize(I'm
a Mbambo by blood but I was
raised by the Mkhize's and I'm a
Mkhize royal princess. I was born
with a gift, a gift I inherited
from the Mkhize clan).A gift
that allows me to see more than
what the natural eyes can see. I
see and hear more than what you
are able see and I can connect
with those whom we have laid to
rest. This requires nothing more
than the parents of Nosipho to
speak the truth and all shall be
well. After they've spoken up
than the elders shall tell me the
way forward. If you do not
believe in me than you are more
than welcomed to consult with
your trusted seers and they will
confirm. Thank you.
Gagashe: Syabonga ngane yami
and I don't think any of us have a
reason not to trust you and only
you have come with a sensible
way forward. Asbonge kuwe
Ngunezi. Bilose, khuluma baba.
Dad: Thank you Gagashe and
thank you Emihle.
My mother was crying already,
honestly I was just scared.
Dad: Nosipho sisi, it's time your
mother and I came clean. We
never thought this would ever
come out nor even backfire like
this. And I'm sorry that it has
ruined your day like this.
Can he just speak already, my
palms are sweating.
Dad: It's not easy for a man to
say this especially amongst other
men. Ngane yami, I'm infertile
and biologically I am not your
father.
My heart breaks. I feel my whole
world crashing down.
I feel numb and defeated. I
suddenly just feel so lost.
Me: Baba what do you mean?
Mama you cheated on baba? What
is going on here?
Dad: No no no my child your
mother never cheated on me.
Me: Then who is my father? This
has to be some sort of a mistake
Uncle: Let your father finish.
My mother isn't even saying
anything. She's just sitting there
crying her eyeballs out.
Dad: So when we found out that
I was infertile, we wanted a baby
but adopting and surrogacy
wasn't an option because I didn't
want my wife to miss the
opportunity of being pregnant and
giving birth naturally on her own.
So the option we had was having
a sperm donor, she was then
injected then she was pregnant
with you. That's how you came
about my child.
I couldn't do this.
Me: This has to be a lie.
I looked at Emihle, its like she
held all the answers, I needed an
approval. She nodded her head
and I was heart broken
Me: Mama
Mom: It's true my child.
How? How come? I know I'm
very dark and my parents are
light in complexion but I look like
them. I am my fathers
daughter.
I stood up and went outside. I
just needed some fresh air. The
sun was shinning brightly now and
some boys were removing the
cows and they were being put in a
truck. So many things were just
all over my head all at once. I felt
him hold me from the back and he
held me so warmly and his touch
was filled with comfort. He's dick
was busy poking my butt
Me: And you have to be horny
when things are like this?
Kwanele: What? Your butt isn't
really helping plus you know how it
turns me on.
We both laughed and he kissed my
neck.
Kwanele: Let's go back inside my
love. Hear out your parents and
we'll figure out a way to fix this
okay?
Me: Okay.
Kwanele: I love you
Me: I love you too.
Lwazi was standing not so far
from us.
Me: Why is he following you
around?
Kwanele: I'm having trouble with
my left leg so he's here just
incase something happens. I even
have my rod with me
I didn't notice. Everything is just
upside down I didn't even notice
that my man isn't well. I held his
hand and we went back to the
lounge
Me: I'm sorry for walking out. I
needed some fresh air
Dad: That's understandable my
child.
Emihle: Your father is calling for
his children. Yes you were
introduced and accepted by the
Bilose clan but your birth family
isn't at peace, you need to find
him.
Me: How do I do that?
Emihle: After he has been found
the lobola negotiations will go well
with him being present. You need
to find him and your rightful
surname in order to be accepted
by the Zondi's.
I just kept quiet. What do I even
do? Where do I even start? This
isn't how I expected my day to
be. This isn't how it's supposed to
be. We should be marry and having
a celebration as we're husband
and wife traditionally but all of
that is not happening. I wanted
to be in his arms and cry.
Dad: We will help you find him. We
do not know his name or where he
is from because he was an
anonymous donor. But we still
have a few documents from the
fertility clinic and we can get some
information there
Me: Dad that was 26years ago!
Who could've kept thing's from so
long ago?
Dad: It's worth a try
Kwanele: Calm down Nosipho. We
will find him. Bab'Bilose, please
get the documents and hand
them over to Ntethe, we'll get to
the bottom of this.
Dad: Okay son. I'm sorry for this
mess
Gagashe: It's okay Bilose, you did
what anyman in your shoes
would've done. We all understand
and thank you for cooperating. We
will leave and son, you will keep us
updated.
Me: You should eat first, we'll go
dish up.
I went to the kitchen and the
girls followed. We dished up for
them and served everyone. We
just sat at the kitchen, Vusi was
still looking at Emihle very weirdly
Me: Emihle, Vusi wants to know if
you're a Sangoma?
Emihle laughed at him and I told
them why I laughed in the
meeting. Buhle showed them the
text
Menzi: And you couldn't even wait
till the meeting was over Vusi?
Vusi: No I was freaked out and
very curious
Emihle: And no, I'm not a
sangoma.
After everyone was done eating
the helpers cleaned up and we
packed the little stuff we came
with
Mom: You're also leaving Nosipho?
She seemed really sad but I
honestly just didn't want to be
around my parents.
Me: Yes
Mom: Leave the kids atleast
please
Me: Okay, just for tonight
Mom: I love you Nosipho
Me: I love you too mama
I could see she wanted to cry but
I wasn't going to comfort her.
They were strong and they should
know. Why didn't they tell me, I'm
damn 26 years old this year I
understand when I get young and
a teen but after I turned 21,
they should've told me. I
deserved to know, if this didn't
happen then it means they were
never going to tell me. I pumped
milk for the twins and Sis Zethu
was going tp stay behind too.
After an hour we were on the
way to my house. When we got
there, there was a white G-
Wagon parked in the driveway and
it had a red ribbon with red roses.
Me: What is this?
I was looking around and Simi was
busy taking a video as Kwanele
gave me the car keys. I couldnt
believe it. I took the keys and I
was in tears. I took the roses
and there was a card "This is for
you, today you're traditionally Mrs
Kwanele Zondi"
Ncooh, that made me cry even
more. He did this before we had a
mess of a day. Atleast something
good came out of it. It hurts
that I'm not Mrs Zondi yet, still
Bilose, ah I don't even know what
my surname is. I went to my man
and hugged him as I just cried so
much. I kissed him and I was
just his baby, I didn't even want
to let go anymore.
Kwanele: I love you Buttercup
Me: I love you too Pickle.
Kwanele: Now take your baby for
a ride with your friends, come
back with some food.
Me: Oh wow, look who is allowing
me to drive
He laughed and spanked my butt.
Lwazi: Okay stop I'm still here
Oh I forgot he has a special
bodyguard today. Let me go so I
can come back and take care of my
man
Funeka: I'm taking the front
seat!!
Ntombi: Ofcause you are, we
wouldn't fit at the back with your
big belly. Let's go ladies!
We got into the car, this car was
just such a beauty and a beast at
the same time. I couldnt believe
that it was mine and I was
driving it. We went to the closest
shopping centre and brought some
goodies, meat, salads and garlic
bread at woolies then went to
get some wine and beers and at
tops. We went back home and the
guys seemed to be busy at the
office. We set up the food and
went to the office
Buhle: Food time!
We set up then dished up for
everyone. I was eating while
Kwanele was just having beer, he
said he wasn't that hungry so I
just eat first.
Me: So what have you found?
Kwanele: Nothing we were just
talking and waiting up on you
guys. I fed him but he only ate
just a bit, he did say he wasn't
hungry but I wasn't buying the
story very easily, I want my man
to be well fed at all times. We
cleaned up the place and washed
the dishes. We went back to the
office.
Vusi: So these are the documents
your father gave me. There's
really nothing much here, just the
name of the fertility clinic and the
doctors initials and surname and
your parent's details then the day
this all happened. And it says
here this Fertility clinic is here in
Durban eMhlanga. The doctor is
V.M Mthethwa
Kwanele: Isn't that Zinga's
surname? Surely he might know
this doctor
Khetho: Yes, its his surname.
Kwanele: Where is he?
Khetho: He's in a meeting in
Musgrave.
Kwanele: Can you call him? I'll
speak to him just for a few
minutes.
Khetho dialed his number and put
the number on speaker.
"Sthandwa sam,
usuyangi'khumbula yin?(My love,
are you already missing me?"- he
says I found myself smiling and
blushing then I wink at Khetho.
"Yebo Ngyakukhumbula sthandwa
sam(Yes I miss you my love)"-
Kwanele replied and we all laughed
and Zinga swore him.
"Is Khetho okay?"- Zinga asked.
He is just such a sweetheart. I
held Khetho's hands, I was just
really charmed, I'm so happy for
my friend. She's found a man who
loves her wholeheartedly and
cares about her so much. She
deserves it all.
"She's okay, she's busy blushing
here. Hey man, I need some
information from you. Do you know
Dr V.P Mthethwa who owns a
fertility clinic in Mhlanga?"-
Kwanele asked.
"Yes that's my old man but he no
longer runs the clinic he retired
my little brother runs the clinic.
Why do you ask?" Zinga replied
"We need your father. Is it
possible for you to come to my
house?"-Kwanele
"Yeah sure I'll be there in
30mins. I'll just wrap up my
meeting then I'll be there."-Zinga
"Thank you, we'll see you in a bit."-
Kwanele
He ended the call.
Me: Hawu why did you end the
call, maybe he was still going to
say something sweet to Miss
Gumede here so she can be
flushed. She giggled and continued
eating her chips. I wanted to
change the clothes I was wearing
but also, I didn't want to be
away from my man here. I
whispered in his ear telling him to
come with me and all he thought
about was getting a quickie.
Me: You can stay behind Mr
Bodyguard
I held my man's hand and we
walked to our bedroom.
Kwanele: I miss you
Me: I'm right here
Kwanele: And you've been
distracted since we came back
from your home. We laid down on
the bed and I kissed him. I
kissed him all over while I was
taking off his clothes. I took off
mine too and sucked his manhood.
It was up and twitching in a few
seconds. I rode my man like it was
the end of the world. I poured
out my emotions, the love I have
for him and how sorry I was that
our day ended up this way. I
wanted to show him how thankful
I am for the car but most of all,
I'm thankful that he loves me.
We both reached our destination
and kissed. I laid on his chest as
we were both trying to catch our
breaths.
Kwanele: How are you feeling
about this entire thing that's
going on?
Me: I feel lost and a bit mad
that my parents didn't tell me for
so long. It's like they kept my
identity a secret. I don't even
know what my surname is or who
my father is
Kwanele: Your father is Mr Bilose
and yes biologically he isn't but all
of this really doesn't change much.
This is you finding yourself, finding
where you belong,looking into your
identity and discovering your
roots.
I nodded.
Kwanele: Don't let this change
who you are and how you are
towards your parents. Yes you're
allowed to be a bit angry at them
but they are your parents and
they love you.
Me: Thank you pickle.
Kwanele: Lets take a bath.
Me: A shower, if we take a bath
we'll take too long.
We then took a shower and we
changed into matching Adidas
tracksuit.
Kwanele: You're beautiful. Thank
you for loving me.
I gave him his walking rod and
kissed his cheek. My man is a
sweetheart and there's just
something about him, something
that makes it feel so deep and
real when he says I'm beautiful.
This man right here is my
everything.
We went back to the office and
Zinga was already here sucking
faces with Khetho.
Lwazi: You took very long, that
was a long quickie
Me: Tsek wena Lwazi.
Zinga: So what do you guys need
from the old man?
Me: My parents were his patients
years ago, before I was born, well
your father might hold all the
answers about who my father is
Zinga: I'm lost.
I told him about everything that
went down today.
Zinga: Oh wow, I don't even know
what to say. I'm sorry about
today. We can drive to the clinic
surely my brother is still there,
we'll look into the documents if we
don't find anything we go
straight to the big man.
Hopefully we'll find him at home.
We left going to his brothers
workplace leaving Funeka,
Ntethe, Simi and Ntombi home.
After driving for a while we got
to Mhlanga, luckily his brother
was still there, he was about to
close, we got there in time.
Him: If you've brought me
patients you'll attend to them
yourself. I'm tired Zii. He looked
at us and smiled, he looked alot
like his brother
Buhle: Twins?
Zinga: Hell no, I'm older.
They laughed and shook hands. We
got in and sat down.
Him: Hi. I'm single
He said looking at me and offering
a handshake. I shook his hand
and smiled
Me: Hi, I'm taken and engaged
Him: The good ones are always
taken
Kwanele: Hold a leash on your
brother there Mthethwa.
We laughed and he introduced
himself as Ntandoyenkosi
Mthethwa. We told him what we
were here for
Ntando: Well unfortunately that
was too long ago. We can find
those documents from dad though
surely he has them in that
basement of his. Don't worry, he
likes keeping old things so
something from about
20something years ago is still
there.
We then proceeded and drove to
Zinga's home. It was a beautiful
simple yet so classy home. We
were welcomed by a very young
brunette. We were shocked, these
brothers decided to laugh.
Zinga: Please don't mind my
father, old age has gotten to him,
he's stuck in a middle life crisis
and being a bachelor is all over his
head. An old but very fine and tall
man come wearing shorts, vest
and a gown with a bottle of
Champaign in his hands came
forth and looked at his sons.
Him: Look boys, I appreciate the
woman you've brought me, they
look very beautiful but I don't
know what the men are for. Boys,
I don't do males behinds that
isn't me. But thank you for being
so considerate, ladies, follow me.
Oh gosh!
Ntando and Zinga were just in
stiches laughing at their father.
They didn't even care.
Ntando: Dad these aren't your
hook ups okay. You have girls all
over this house.
To say I was shocked was just an
understatement. Sihamba sibona
ngempela
Zinga: Follow me
We followed him into the lounge
and there were two woman on
the couch busy kissing each other.
Zinga cleared his throat and
looked at them. They stood up
and left. His father came back,
now he was smoking a cigar.
This man.
Ntando: Dad, we've come for a
serious issue.
He immediately become so serious
and looked at his boys. He seemed
very concerned
Him: What did you do now Ntando?
I hope you beat him up Zinga
Ntando: I didn't do anything
Zinga introduced us and then he
told him why we're here.
Him: And I guess the dark
beautiful young girl is the girl
you're talking about. Your name?
Me: It's Nosipho
Him: Nosipho, you look like your
father.
I don't know how that made me
feel.
Him: I know both your fathers.
Follow me young girl.
I followed him and we went to his
basement. He was just talking
telling me about his life as a
doctor and how he loved his job.
He looked over his files and took
what I believed was my file. We
went back to the others and he
opened the file.
Him: Your father, Moses Achebe,
is a very good friend of mine.
Unfortunately he is not in South
Africa. He is from Malawi and he
stays in England. Hes still alive
and these are his contact details.
Wow. We thanked him and he told
us to stay for dinner, he doesn't
like dinning alone and the man
doesn't take no for an answer
Him: So Zinga, which one is yours
here? You can't always be
surrounded by these beautiful
women and be single?
Zinga: Well dad, I'd like you to
meet my love, Khethokuhle
Gumede.
Him: Mfana wami ukhethokuhle
kuphela. Hello my daughter, tell
me when he worries so I can kill
him. I brought him into this
world and I can easily kill him.
Khetho: I will Mr Mthethwa
Him: Call me bigman
Okay this man is really stuck in
some middle age crisis. The news
about my father are just
overwhelming. Moses Achebe,
that so foreign. Malawi? Wow.
What a big discovery, what a day
it has been.

Insert 65
Three days ago I was holding my
phone, my hands were shaking and
I was just a nervous hot mess,
just contemplating whether to
press the dail button or not. I
looked at his number one more
time
"You can do this"- Emihle said. I
looked at all of them and nodded.
I pressed the dial button. It
rang twice and he answered
"Hello"
His voice, his voice was deep and
bold. I just didn't say anything.
"Hello"- he said again and I didn't
say anything but just ended the
call.
Argh why did I do that? I let my
nerves get the best of me.
Vusi: Try again.
I callled him again and he
answered after a few rings.
"Hello again"- he says again
sounding very annoyed. I don't
blame him, I'd be annoyed too.
"Hi. Uhm... am I speaking to
Moses Achebe?"- I asked.
"Yes you are and who am I
speaking to?"- he asked. I sighed
a sigh of relief.
"Sir, you're speaking to Nosipho
Bilose, well I don't think you know
me but did you donate your
sperms about 25 years ago at a
fertility clinic in South Africa in
Mhlanga, I believe you know Dr
V.P Mthethwa?"- I asked, I was
just crossing fingers hoping he
doesn't deny it or he hasn't
forgotten
"Yes I know Dr Mthethwa and I
did do so. Why do you ask?"- he
seems like a very inquisitive man.
"Well I believe I'm your
daughter."
He was silent for a while and I
just let the tears flow without
making any sound.
"Your mother, I think her name
was Gugu"
"Yes! Yes that's her" I was
excited that he remembered my
mothers name. That's just a
bonus. Atleast he knows what
I'm talking about.
"I remember her. I'm happy to
hear from you, my daughter."
I laughed. It seemed so unreal.
Some other strange man from
Malawi who happens to be my
father is calling me his daughter.
"You know, your timing is really
significant. I've been telling my
wife lately about how I cannot
rest anymore without knowing all
of my children." He says as he
giggles a little and sighs. His
accent is very different and you
could listen to him speak all day
long.
"My timing is really significant
because I also need your help. I
need you to come to South Africa.
I have twins, just a month old
and I cannot travel so I really
need you to come here. I know you
might be skeptical about it or
have some problems with coming
this side but I'd really appreciate
it...." he cut me off as I was busy
blabbling and talking non-stop.
"I will have my wife packing my
bags right away. Expect me in
South Africa in just three days.
He ended the call and I sighed.
And that was it.
Today is the day he arrives in
South Africa. My palms are
sweating and I've been nervous
all morning. Kwanele thinks I'm
overreacting and I should be
chilled about it.
"Chilled" I don't think I know the
meaning of that word right now.
I went downstairs while carrying
Luthando, she's just growing so
much and I can tell she'll be a
thick girl, she's very heavy and
she has very thick legs.
Me: Good morning
Emihle smiled and waved, she was
still on the phone while mixing
something in the pan. I guessed
she was making some breakfast.
Ntombi came in looking very
beautiful and all dressed up
Me: And then? Where are you
coming from or shall I say where
are you going?
Ntombi: No where, I just
thought I should just dress up
and look beautiful. Thando's
tendencies have just rubbed off on
me. MaMzobe gave me almost all
of Thando's clothes, my closet is
very full.
Me: You do have a big house so
they can fit.
Ntombi: I know.
During the will reading, it was
said that Ntombi left everything
she owned to her mother.
MaMzobe then signed everything
over to Ntombi, she said it is
what her daughter would've
wanted and indeed it is what
Thando would've wanted. I can
never stop applauding MaMzobe
for the good heart that she has.
She just does it ever so
effortlessly, she loves and you feel
it. Her relationship with Gagashe
is still very rocky but they stay
together. She is still serious
about the divorce but Gagashe
isn't making things easy for her,
I don't even think Gagashe will
even agree to that. Simi also
arrived followed by Khetho and
Funeka. We went to the kitchen
and started cooking, well they
thought it would be a good idea
to have a big family lunch to
welcome Mr Achebe, my parents
don't know yet about him coming
here or having this lunch and I
don't know why I haven't told
them but I just still feel
something towards them.
Ntombi: So Aunty is okay with
meeting this Moses guy?
Me: She doesnt know
Them: huh?
Me: Yet
Simi: Explain
Me: I haven't told them. I think
I just want to meet Moses first,
talk to him then call my parents.
Khetho: I think you should call
them and tell them everything
thats going on. Invite them for
lunch and they'll all meet each
other, you will get privacy with
Mr Achebe and you'll get your
answers from him. Keeping this
away from them isn't a good idea,
at all. They will feel some type of
way if you do this your way and
don't even tell them
Me: They have no right to feel
some type of way. They kept this
from me for very long time
Simi: And surely they had their
reasons. Stop being dramatic
Nosipho and call your parents.
I rolled my eyes and gave her
Luthando. Then I called the
parents. My mother answered on
the first ring like she was
expecting the call.
"My baby! You called? I've been
wanting to call but I was scared
you'd be cold towards me."- she
says
"Good morning to you too ma and
I wasn't going to be cold towards
you. You're my mother and I love
you. Where's dad?"
"He went to some meeting. How
are you holding up?"- she asked.
"I'm good. I got a hold of the
sperm donor which happens to be
my father and he is coming over
for lunch today. I'd like you and
dad to come too."
"Really? Okay we will be there
Nosipho. Remember that your
father loves you."
"And I love him too. See you soon."
We said our goodbyes and I ended
the call. I went back to the
kitchen and told them everything
was sorted. I then went to check
on my sleeping Lukhanyo and he
was still sleeping peacefully on his
father's chest.
Me: Pickle, should I bring you
something to eat?
Kwanele: No thank you. I just
want to sleep. I didn't really get
to sleep last night and that was
because of you.
I was so nervous last night I
couldnt even sleep. So I woke him
up so he could stay up with me.
He was very pissed but being the
loving and supportive man he is,
stayed up with me and listened to
all my stupid stories of how I
think today will turn out. So he
resorted to just fucking me all
night till I fell asleep. I must
say, it worked because I slept like
a baby afterwards. I laughed at
him and just let him be. I went
back downstairs and we finished
up with the cooking. We had
breakfast and sorted out the
garden outside, thats where we'll
have lunch today. I had hired
some people to do the garden and
set up a stretch tent. Now we
were just setting up the table
and making sure everything is in
place.
Emihle: I think he will appreciate
that you went all out for him
Me: I even invited Dr Mthethwa
so he can have someone he is
familiar with here. Just so he can
be comfortable.
Funeka: Thats very thoughtful of
you.
I got a text from him telling me
he has just landed at the airport
Me: He just landed
Ntombi: I can go fetch him, I
mean I look the part so I can go.
I'll go with Kwenzo
Me: Okay thank you very much.
I quickly went to change so I can
look decent like the others. I tied
up my braids and put on some
earings. I went back downstairs
and Kwanele was there looking
very handsome without his shirt
on just laughing so loud with his
friends. There's always just too
much noise when they are all
together. Luthando and Lukhanyo
were carried by their uncle's. They
are so attached and they have
this habit of sucking their
thumbs.
Menzi: So are you nervous?
Kwanele: She is very nervous. Can
you believe she woke me up just
to tell me she's scared Mr Achebe
will not show up.
They laughed at me and I
hugged my man and kissed him. I
love just cuddling with him and he
babies me so much, I love it. So
much.
He went upstairs to freshen up
and get ready for lunch. After a
few minutes I saw Ntombis car
parked outside. Simi came running
from outside
Simi: Yey uzalwa ichips!!! WeGirl
how does my make up look? That
man is so handsome no guys no!
Me: Behave yourself.
Okay. Now I understand why she
is behaving this way. I couldnt
even stand properly, I was just
looking at this very tall fine man,
you could tell he is old but he is
handsome, he is very dark with
very grey nicely trimmed hair and
a very beard which suited him
very well. He had a scar near his
eyebrow and he was dressed in a
black suit, it looked very
expensive, he has a white, very
white shirt on and he had rings on
his fingers. I wanted to laugh at
that but I couldn't, I was still
blown away by his looks.
Why am I looking at this man like
this?
He is my father for crying out
loud. I swallowed my own saliva
and cleared my throat. Simi was
pushing me to the lounge where
he was standing talking to Vusi,
Lwazi and Menzi.
Simi: Go talk to him, I want to
hear his voice.
Me: I'm scared.
He's looks just made me feel more
intimated. Simi pushed me till we
got to them and I stood there
looking at him and he was now
looking at me. We both just didn't
know what to say. We stood there
just looking at each other in
silence for about two minutes.
He hugged me.
I was frozen but I ended up
hugging him back. He held me for
a long time and he was crying
Is he crying?
Oh god now I'm very emotional.
He looked at me and wiped my
tears off and I wiped his off too.
Moses: Ngolinga
I looked at him
Me: What does that mean?
Moses: Cry baby
I laughed at him and he hugged
me again.
Moses: I will name you Chikondi.
It means love in chichewa
language.
I smiled and thanked him for the
name. Chikondi, mmmh.
Interesting.
Kwanele came downstairs looking
dashing, trust my man to never
disappoint and always represent
me well.
Kwanele: Mwadzuka Bwinji?(Good
morning
Moses:(smiles) Ndadzuka
bwino.(Good morning reply)
Kwanele: Zikomo, my name is
Kwanele and I'm Nosipho's fiance
Moses: The son in law, I'm
impressed you know a bit of my
chichewa
Trust Kwanele to just amaze you.
I was standing there just
blushing not knowing what to do
with myself. I was impressed and
very much charmed.
Menzi: My brother always aims to
impress.
We laughed and headed to the
lounge. I introducedd everyone and
we sat down while having some
drinks as we waited for my
parents to arrive.
Moses: I was very shocked when
you called me Chikondi, I didn't
sleep that night mostly I was
amazed that I have a daughter,
that my own seed produced a
daughter. I have lots of kids and
they are all males,even the
grandchildren are just male.
Vusi: Wow, how many kids do you
have?
Moses: That I know off?
We laughed at his question. This
man seems like such a mystery.
Moses: I have 15sons.
Hah.
Me: Wow.
He laughed and there was a knock
on the door. I went to open and it
was my parents and MaMzobe.
Me: Hey guys, come in.
They came in and followed me to
the lounge. Mr Moses stood up
and they greeted each other
MaMzobe: Hi, I'm MaMzobe, the
mother in law
Mom: Mrs Bilose, Nosipho's
mother
Dad: And I'm Mr Bilose, Nosipho's
father.
Moses: Mr Moses Achebe,
Nosipho's father.
They looked at each other in the
eye and had one of those slow and
so fake handshakes. Geez that
was awkward. Ntethe looked at
me and laughed.
Me: Okay! We can sit down.
There was a knock again and I
went to open. Okay, I'm tired of
being doorman. I opened and it
was Ntando, Zinga and Big man,
which is Dr Mthethwa. I was
very happy to see them. We went
to the lounge and Emihle was
fixing up drinks for the guests
that just arrived.
Moses: Ooh! The big man himself,
Mthethwa, you're still alive
BigM: You do know when I day I'll
die with you.
They hugged and spoke for a
while. I knew inviting Mr
Mthethwa will be a good thing.
They greeted and there were
introductions. It wasn't awkward
anymore, the gents made it more
comfortable by just talking about
what is happening recently in the
business world while we ladies just
went to set up the food.
Buhle: Seems like everything will
go well.
Me: I hope so, all of this is
making me scared. Did you see the
tension between my dad and
moses?
Khetho: Your fathers you mean
Me: Yes you know what I mean.
We continued talking and then we
were done. Ntombi called everyone
else and we sat down at the
dinning table at the garden. I
purposefully sat next to Mr
Achebe just to make him feel
special and get used to him, I
needed the guy so I had to get
along with him. The look my
mother gave me, gosh, I wish
someone could just bury me right
now. It's not like I'm choosing
him over them, he is my guest
and I'm going all out. They seem
to be just over analysing this and
overthinking everything, I think
they are being very insecure but
I don't blame them, I'd feel the
same way too. The conservation
at the table was just good and
everything was going well until my
father broke the silence.
Dad: So Moses, what do you do in
life?
Moses: I just have a few
businesses that I still run, but I
was a surgeon, but all of that
has been left to my third son.
Dad: You have other kids?
Moses: Yes, 15sons well and a
daughter now.
He smiled and held my hand.
Me: What made you donate your,
uhm, you know.
Everyone laughed. It was easier
to say without him being here
now it's hard and weird.
Moses: I have what they call
supersperms. The first time I
had sex, I impregnated my
girlfriend. I was so worried, I
was just 20 and my father sent
me to South Africa to study not
to make babies. I cheated on my
girlfriend, the side chick got
pregnant. So I had two girls
pregnant, mind you these are all
just my first experiences so I
realized something was wrong
with me. My brother told me to
go to the doctor and the doctor
said I was fine but I just have
too many sperms. Being stupid, I
thought masturbation and
constant ejaculating would help
but no, thats when I produced
more sperm.
The guys laughed at him. To
them this just seemed like a very
exciting and funny topic to discuss.
Moses: So I avoided having sex by
all means till I had my sons. After
graduating, I went to a fertility
clinic and I met with Dr
Mthethwa here, he was still
young too, he's clinic had just
opened too. I told him that I
wanted to donate my sperms for
a very special case, a couple who
cannot have babies. To me, I
didn't even take it seriously, I
just wanted to get rid of the
sperms, so I donated my sperms,
lots of them. Then I went back
to Angola, I donated my sperms
too, I went to Australia, I think
I donated sperms in about
5countries, I know it sounds crazy
but that was just my stupidity
as a young man and I earned
money for it but I secretly sent
back the money to the couple I
donated to because I didn't need
the money. I finally settled in
England.
Kwenzo: I want to know where
did you the money for all this
travelling?
Moses: My father, he was the
King of my village at that time.
Unfortunately now he has passed
away
Khetho: So you're royalty?
Moses: Yes I am
Simi: Heh mnge that means you're
also of royal blood.
I rolled my eyes at her. I hope he
won't say he is king now and I'm
some sort of princess.
Simi: So who took up his position?
Moses: My eldest brother
Thank God. Kona how would he be
king and be staying in England.
Anyways he continued and told us
that was just about it. So he's
reckless and stupid decision made
me. Wow. I laughed a little at
just how I came about. Never
would I have thought of that
MaMzobe: You're married?
Moses: Yes, two wives.
When we were all finished, the
adults left, heading to the lounge
and we stayed outside. The
helpers cleared the table and we
chilled just having drinks.
Kwenzo: I like this man, I hope I
also have supersperms
Kwanele: I hope you will have the
finances to take care of those
babies.
Kwenzo: I have my big brothers
mosc, all I'll do is fuck and shoot
sons only. Isn't that just the
good life?
Ntando: I agree with you.
Me: I'm not shocked that you
agree with him. You need special
attenton, someone needs to check
if your brains work properly
Kwenzo: That means your
fathers brains didn't work
properly too.
Me: Mxm.
Lwazi: All Simi just sees is a
handsome guy and wealth and
royalty
Simi: You got that right baby, I
wish I had met him before you
We laughed and Lwazi tickled her,
these two just have a special
relationship, they both need to go
to a mental institution. Lwazi
understands what a crazy woman
he has and he accepts her as she
is. Simi may seem like the type
that likes fancy things, nice life,
old and rich man but that's just
also the complete opposite of her,
she is a genuine lover. One would
say she would leave Lwazi for
another man but she would never
do that, she loves Lwazi in a way
I've never seen before, I love
Kwanele so much but I don't
think I can compare it to how
Simi is so inlove with Lwazi, its
crazy and very beautiful. The
adults seemed to be finished with
what they were talking about. I
grabbed the opportunity to talk
to Moses.
Me: Uhm, mo..sir. umm Mr Achebe
I just didnt know what to call
him. He looked at me and smiled
Moses: Just call me Moses, I
don't expect you to say father, I
mean we just met and it could be
just weird for you so I
understand.
Me: Would you like to meet my
kids?
Moses: Ofcause
He smiled and we went to the
kids room and sat down while
carrying the twins.
Moses: They're beautiful, this is
amazing. I never thought things
would turn out this way. I'm so
happy, this is one of the happiest
days of my life. Your brother
James and my wife wanted to
come with but I didn't want to
overwhelm you. I chose to do this
alone.
Me: You should've came with them
but I undertand your concerns.
Moses: On the phone you said you
have a problem that you need
help with.
Me: Oh yes. Kwanele and I want
to get married. During the lobola
negotiations some strange things
happened and thats how I found
out that I'm not originally a
Bilose. Apparently I had to be in
search of you, my real identity and
then the Zondi's can accept me
into their family. I cannot get
married without your presence
Moses: True, a princess, born of
Achebe royalty, the first princess
in so many years, cannot get
married without being recognized
by her people. You need to be
known by your people and your
ancestors, only then can they come
see your family and pay your bride
price and you will be handed over
to the Zondi's
Me: Wow
Moses: That means you have to
meet your family
Me: That means I have to go to
Malawi?
Moses: Yes.
Me: Wow.
I truly didn't expect this at all.
Why did this man have to have
some royal blood? Why is this so
complicated. Gosh, I feel so
frustrated already.
Me: I'll have to speak to my
fiance and my parents.
Moses: I understand. Once you've
spoken to them, tell me so I can
tell my people.
Me: So its possible that you have
more than 15 kids?
Moses: Very much possible
We laughed and continued talking
for a while. He was a good man
who loves laughing and loves his
family. He was interested in what
I do in my life and my upbringing.
He loved listening to my stories.
We spoke till we even lost track of
time. We went back to join the
others then I went to talk to my
parents
Me: Mr and Mrs Bilose.
I hugged them
Me: So I spoke to Mr Achebe
regarding the lobola negotiations
matter. He said we need to go to
Malawi, so I can be introduced to
his family and ancestors so
everything can be in order
Ma: Malawi? Baby thats too far
are you sure?
Me: Well that's what needs to
done so I can marry the love of
my life. I'll have to speak to
Kwanele first
Dad: Okay my daughter,
whatever you decide we will
support you every step.
Ma: Andile
Dad: No Gugu, she has to do this.
Me: Thank you dad, you're the
worlds best dad.
He needed to hear that. I
hugged him tightly and kissed his
cheek. I stayed with them then
I went to Kwanele. I'm doing alot
of walking around and talks. I'm
exhausted already
Me: Babydaddy
Kwanele: Babymama
I sat on his lap and rested my
head on his shoulder. He kept on
brushing my butt
Me: Stop it
He laughed but just didn't stop.
Me: So I spoke to Moses
regarding the lobola negotiations
matter and he said that, I'm the
first princess of his family and I
cannot get married without being
recognized by his ancestors and I
need to be known by the people of
Malawi
Kwanele: Okay then so be it
Me: Baby it will mean that we
have to go to Malawi
Kwanele: And that means we
should be packing right now. I
need this done as soon as possible
so we can be back to our normal
lives, get married and elope.
Me: This guy! Baby, the kids are
still just too young to be
travelling especially so far
Kwanele: The kids will be okay.
This has to be done Nosipho, I
don't know what's going on in your
mind taht wants to go against
this but whatever it is, get rid of
it. We're going to Malawi, you'll
meet your family and everything
will be done accordingly.
Me: Okay babe.
Kwanele: Good.
He can be so authoritative. I told
my parents about his decision and
they were not against it, my mom
too. After a while they left, so did
Dr Mthethwa and MaMzobe. We
were sitting at the lounge having
snacks and drinks.
Moses: My people, I have to be on
my way now. Thank you, it has
been a vert good day. Chikondi,
thank you very much.
Simi: Hawu where are you going
sir?
Moses: I booked a hotel, Protea
Hotel. I need to go get some rest
and call my family.
Me: No you're not going to sleep
at a hotel. I prepared a room for
you
Moses: No man I wouldn't want
to intrude. I will be fine at the
hotel
Kwanele: Nonsense sir, you're more
than welcome to stay. Please stay
and make my Chikondi happy.
I laughed and Moses agreed. He
wanted to rest so I then took
him to his room. I made sure he
is in a far room so he wouldn't be
disturbed by our noise.
Me: This is your room and you can
shower and get some sleep. If you
get hungry you can call me and I'll
have something prepared for you.
Moses: Thank you very much. Did
you talk to your parents and
fiance?
Me: Yes and we've decided that
we can go to Malawi as soon as
possible.
Moses: Okay, I will contact my
family and have everything sorted
out. Thank you for finding my
Chikondi
Me: I had to, dad.
We hugged and I left him to rest.
Its been a long day and all I
want to do is relax and have good
drinks and food then cuddle with
my babies and my man. To say
this is something I thought
about in the scenarios I had last
night, today turned out completely
different and I must say, it is all
still very overwhelming.

Insert 66
Self Discovery
What is self-discovery?
Google says:
A journey of self discovery refers
to a travel, pilgrimage, or series
of events whereby a person
attempts to determine how they
feel, personally about spiritual
issues or priorities rather than
following the opinions of family,
friends, neighbourhood and peer
pressure.
I looked at this and didn't know
whether to call this journey of
mine a journey of self discovery
because this definition just didn't
seem to match or go accordingly
with my situation or rather I
lacked understanding.
Kwanele: Self Discovery you say?
Well my dear Chikondi, to me, Self
Discovery is the process of
learning more about yourself and
who you are.
And that was it.
I lacked understanding, see google
wasn't wrong at all but I looked
for what I thought was right. I
looked for what self discovery is
rather than looking for what does
self discovery mean.
It's tricky isn't it? But such
things need a mind with wisdom
and understanding. Sometimes
the answer you're holding onto,
thinking is right just turns out
not be the right answer just for
that particular situation. It is
not wrong neither are you but it
is a simple situation of
misunderstanding and not looking
deeper.
I stood by the window and looked
around just taking in my
surroundings. I cannot believe
that I am in Malawi. Standing in
the palace, in my room, watching
as people are moving up and down
preparing for my welcoming
ceremony. I hear Malawi is often
called the Warm Heart of Africa
and from what I have seen so
far, it truly is. We were in the
village of the southern region
called Likoma. We got the
privilege to be see Lake Malawi, I
told Moses I will not step into
the royal grounds without seeing
Lake Malawi and my request was
taken into consideration. I don't
think I've seen something so
breathing taking and so beautiful.
Kwanele: Come sit down, you do
know that no one is allowed to see
you just yet.
Me: I know, I know. This is all
just very overwhelming I guess.
Kwanele: This is your home
Chikondi kondi
I don't think there's anyone who
loves this Chikondi name more
than Kwanele. He says it was
meant to be loved by him. The
name means love and I am his
love so he sees great significance
in it and believes he should be the
only one who gets to call me
Chikondi. Its a pity that won't
happen because Moses also just
calls the Chikondi name. As for
Moses, he is a good man. With all
the time I've spent with him he
has been a great dad and he is
very happy about this. He even
hired a private investigator to
find his children, the ones he also
donated some of his supersperms
as he calls it. We left Durban
yesterday.The flight from Durban
to Lilongwe was about 7hours and
we drove all the way to Likoma.
We arrived late and only will I
meet the family today. I came
with my parents, Menzi so he can
be with his brother supporting
him and assisting him since he is
in a place he is not familiar with
and Emihle, I chose to come with
Emihle because she is a princess
already and I felt like she would
be a great support system and
she would be neutral to such
things, and, because I need her to
sense if anything will go wrong
plus she's single so she had no
man to complain about leaving
behind and missing him. And I
came with my babies ofcause and
their nanny, I don't think I would
trust anyone else with my kids.
Kwanele told me Gagashe and
Bab'Zondi will be here too today
so they can then have a meeting
with the elders of the family, I
do think it has to do with the
lobola negotiations matter. There
was a soft knock on the door and
I told whoever it was to come in.
It was one of the royal servants.
Her: Good Morning my princess,
Prince Achebe the would like to
see you in his office please my
lady.
Me: Oh okay.
She closed the door? Mmh Prince
Achebe? Maybe that's Moses? He
does have brothers so I wouldn't
know if it is him or not.
Kwanele: Duty calls
I laughed at him and went out.
This lovely girl was still waiting
for me. She took me to the office
and it was indeed Moses
Me: You called for me father
Moses: Yes I did. I want you to
meet my wife and your brothers
before the ceremony takes place.
I nodded and a gorgeous middle
age woman came in followed by a
very large number of male species
who looked just about the same
and were a copy of this man
whom I believe is my father. The
only difference was just the
complexion between some of them,
some were fair and some were as
dark as they can be and theres
just that one, who was the male
version of me.
Me: I believe I have a long lost
twin
I giggled and he looked down, he
seemed, shy.
Him: I believe we have just been
reunited.
The other brother spoke, I
believed he was the eldest, he's
name is James
James: Had our father kept his
mbolo in one woman, you could've
possibly be really twins.
They all laughed and I didn't even
understand. That made me feel so
out of place.
MrsAchebe: Forgive my son for
being so stupid, he loves making
jokes.
I would like to know what the
joke is about instead of feeling so
lost.
Moses: Mbolo means penis.
Oh.
Now it makes sense. I giggled a
little, not wanting to be rude or
anything but I was just a little
to late to laugh and roll on the
floor about it.
Him: My name is Jonah and I'm
the almost twin.
Moses introduced me to his sons
and the names were going to be a
very big challenge. I'll stick to
just holding onto the easy names
like James Jonah, Chikhu,Azibe
and Bwereni. The rest I would
just bite my tongue if I were to
try pronounce them or even
remember them.
Moses: And this is my lovely wife,
Nora.
Me: Pleased to meet you Mrs
Achebe
Nora: Oh Chikondi, call me Nora.
Pleased to meet you my daughter,
any child of Moses is also my child.
Wuu.
Me: I'm sorry if this seems rude
of anything but I'm just curious,
did you push all of these big male
heads out?
They all laughed.
Nora: No my dear, I only pushed
4.
Hehe! This father of mine seems
to be a casanova. I looked at him
and he winked. Some woman have
big hearts and the strength. It
means she accepted 11 babied out
of wedlock,well there's me now too
and the others she's yet to
accept and say any child of Moses
is her child,never! I would never.
Maybe this is dads third or second
marriage or something this can't
be.
I just nodded and she smiled. The
other boys went out with their
mother and I was left with
Moses, Jonah and Azibe.
Azibe: It feels so good to have a
sister, being surrounded by boys
at all times can be boring.
Jonah: You've never said we're
boring before
Azibe: That was before I had a
sister, now that I do, I'm free to
say anything because she will
defend me. Anyways, I do need a
woman figure in my life, I'm the
type that likes to vent but I just
don't have that woman who
listens, I hope you'll listen
Me: I will but you do have your
mother
Azibe: Stepmother.
Oh.
Moses: Azibe doesn't really get
along with Nora.
Jonah: I don't blame him.
Okay, I wonder why. Nora seemed
to be a good woman. But they do
say don't judge a book by its
cover. Or maybe something
happened between the two of
them so that's the reason why.
We talked for a while till I was
called by a lady who was
introduced as my aunty. We went
back to my room. Sis Zethu was
sitting there with my babies. I
took them and fed them, they are
now used to the bottle, they eat
both formula and breastmilk, no
wonder they are growing so much.
Aunty: Your dress has arrived. We
need to get you ready.
There was already alot of noise
outside.
Me: Sis Zethu, do you have any
idea where Kwanele is?
Sis Zethu: He left with Menzi
I nodded.
There was music coming from the
outside, I guess people were
already coming and getting ready.
I got dressed in this beautiful
emerald green dress with people
lace and diamonds.
Me: Gloves?
Aunty: Part of the outfit.
They were black leather gloves
and I sat down and let her do my
hair.
Aunty: Make up?
Me: No thank you.
I looked at myself in the mirror,
I looked different. I looked like
someone I didn't even know. Not
even in my wildest dream did I
ever think I would look this way
"It's overwhelming huh?" I
looked back and it was Emihle, she
was wearing a royal blue dress
and she had animal skin over her
shoulders and her crown.
"Princess Mkhize, I greet you
your highness"
"My greetings to you too Princess
Chebe and thank you for having
me in your Kingdom your highness.
"
We both bowed and laughed. She
held my hand and we looked at
each other for a while.
Emihle: You're scared aren't you?
Me: Very much, I just feel as if
this is just too different, like this
isn't me. It's just overwhelming
Emihle: I understand. Look, it is
wasn't easy for me too, I wasn't
born a princess but I guess I
was called to it. Especially when I
had this gift, as a young child I
didn't really pay attention to it
but as I grew, it become more
overwhelming and I learnt more
about myself, trust me its scary,
it feels like you're discovering a
part of you that you didn't know
exists. I had a difficult time
accepting myself and adjusting
but then my father always said,
This is who you are, this is who
you were destined to be. Now I'm
passing on those words to you, You
are Nosipho, but you were also
destined to be Princess Chikondi
Achebe.
I nodded and we hugged. Kwanele
came in followed by Menzi
Menzi: Sorry to disturb this
moment but you need to leave,
your father is calling for you.
Kwanele kissed me and wished me
luck. We went our separate ways
and I went to my father and he
was with his elder brother, The
King.
Me: My King, I greet you Great
Achebe
KingA: I greet you first Princess.
I sat down and the elders came
in. I was taught and told about
the customs and history of the
Kingdom. I was told about what
was going to take place today and
what to expect and what not to
expect. The elders also wanted to
know more about me and I told
them.
Moses: It's time.
The elders stood up and started
singing and I was covered up
while dad held my hand. I could
tell we were outside due to the
noise, people screaming and
ululating. The cloth that was
covering me up was removed and
my father was walking around
with me amongst the people. He
was parading around and showing
me off, I was so shy.
Moses: The people need to see
their princess.
Me: This is scary
Moses: I know but I'm here for
you
I looked around and saw my
parents and I smiled, my mom
looked like she was crying. I
mouthed "I love you" and they
nodded. We finally went to the
podium and sat down. The king
stood up and addressed his people
about what today is about
KingA: Today I stand here with
great joy in my heart. Today the
Gods have blessed us, our prayers
have been answered.
*Ululation*
KingA: My brother, Prince Moses,
has just discovered that he has a
daughter. We shall not dwell on
how they were separated but
what matters is that they have
reunited and we have a daughter
in our midst, a princess, the first
princess of our clan in 10 decades.
As we all know our customs and
previous incidences that have
happened in our land with people
coming to claim they are of our
royal blood but I trust and
believe that this one, it is real.
But you will say I believed the
last time and it was wrong but
anyways, as per custom, we will
perform our ritual so that the
Gods will confirm that Chikondi is
really of our royal blood. Moses
please come forth and perform
the ritual.
Moses went to send next to the
King while he was carrying a
short spear with beads. They
called upon me and I stood next to
him.
Me: What happens if I'm not your
blood? Will this thing hurt me?
I whispered in his ear, I had to
know what I'm putting myself
into. I don't want to die
Moses: Don't worry, if you are not
royal you will not be able to lift
the spear. If you are, then you
will lift it
Me: Who wouldnt be able to lift a
spear Moses?
Moses: It's heavier than it looks.
I giggled and he handed over the
spear to me. I felt like I was
going to fall. Am I holding bricks?!
It was very heavy, too heavy.
Everyone was looking at me and I
just wanted to cry. What if I
can't lift this thing? What
happens then? I looked around
and I spotted his face, it was as
if he can see me and he is looking
at me. I had to do this, I had to
do this for us, I have to be
accepted here so we can get
married. He is the love of my life
and I owe this to him, to our kids,
to the both of us and this undying
love we have.
I heard people cheering and
ululating, Menzi was whispering in
Kwanele's ears, the people bowed
down. What is going on? I looked
at my hands and I had lifted the
spear. I did it! I did it without
even realizing, I was still just
daydreaming staring at my man.
I did it.
Tears were falling hysterically, I
couldnt believe it. Moses hugged
me, he was very emotional too.
Moses: My Princess
Me: Yes Father
Moses: Welcome home
I laughed and hugged him
tightly. I felt the love and bond
between us, something just
connected us right there and
everything just felt right.
Everything just seemed as if it
was falling into place.
King: Come Chikondi, speak to your
people.
I nodded and stood there, I didn't
even know what was I going to
say
Me: I greet you all, great people
of Likoma. Just a few days ago I
was just a normal girl, just
Nosipho Bilose, living a normal life
well not entirely normal but it was
just far from this. Never would I
have ever thought that one day
I'd be a princess. When I heard
about this I was in disbelief, I
asked myself how and everything
seemd surreal. Today I stand
here as Princess Chikondi Achebe
of Likoma village in Malawi, it is
just unbelievable. Not only am I
just a princess but I am the first
princess in decades. I would like to
thank my parents, Mr and Mrs
Bilose for raising me to be the
woman that I am today, I would
like to thank my father, Moses,
for accepting me and bringing me
home so I can know who I am
and where I am from. I would
also like to thank my fiance, for
being such a great support
system but most of all, I want to
thank my friend, Princess Emihle
Mkhize of Langelihle Kingdom,
without her I don't know if I
would've even be here if it wasn't
for her and her special gift.
Thank you people of my land for
welcoming me and accepting me as
one of your own. Thank you
Them: Khala moyo wamfumu!!
Khala moyo wamfumu!!!
Khala moyo wamfumu!!
They started saying and raising
thier hands. Okay, I was getting
scared.
Me: What does that mean?
King: It means Long live the
princess. They have welcomed you.
Me: Thank you.
I went back to sit down next to
Moses and Nora.
Me: I really should start learning
this language.
Moses: You should
He held my hand and the ceremony
proceeded. I was given gifts and
groceries, bed covers, linen,
jewellery boxes, money, and a car
Me: A car? Who is it from?
Moses: From me, my princess.
Wow.
Me: Thank you father.
The gifts kept coming and it was
all just too much. Finally
everything ended and people were
leaving. We went back into the
palace and I took off my shoes
Moses: My in laws, welcome please
sit down.
It was Gagashe and Bab'Zondi. I
guess they are getting straight
to business. I went to my room
and chilled with my babies, Sis
Zethu and Emihle.
SisZethu: This place has fine men
Me: Sisi!!
We laughed at her, that was just
so unexpected, especially coming
from her.
Emihle: I also saw some dark
chocolate eyeing me. I should get
his numbers.
We continued talking for a while
and then they left when Kwanele
came in.
Kwanele: Had a good day?
Me: I could say so.
Kwanele: Menzi tells me you were
stunning, I feel it in my blood, you
looked breath taking. Though I
did feel your eyes all over me most
of the time
Me: I couldnt keep them off of
you.
Kwanele: The King and your
father told me there are some
royal princes who have come forth
to ask for your hand in marriage
Me: What? And what did you say?
Kwanele: I said I'll kill them. No
one is getting my woman, royalty
or not.
Me: That's my man
Wait? I'm even entertaining his
killing nonsense.
Me: Sooooo? What happened?
Kwanele: The uncles will be coming
this side for the negotiations and
they will have a small ceremony to
send you off then you're all mine
Mrs Zondi.
Me: Soon to be Mrs Zondi
Kwanele: A little gift for Princess
Chikondi
Me: Thank you, what is this?
I opened the box and it was keys.
Me: Keys?
Kwanele: Yes keys
Me: I don't understand.
Kwanele: These my love, are the
keys to our new house. Which you
will only see after the wedding
when we're moving in.
I attacked him with a kiss. Wow!
A house?
Me: Thank you my love now what
is wrong with our house?
Kwanele: Nothing, nothing at all
but I just want us to have a
fresh start after our wedding.
This man!
Me: I love you
Kwanele: I love you too My
Chikondi.
Chikondi.
I am Chikondi. It's still hard to
process but this is who I am.
Today was a great journey.
There is no greater journey than
the one that you must take to
discover all of the mysteries that
lie within you.
Please like and comment
Suggest page to friends and
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Insert 67
Kwanele: Don't worry, everything
will be okay. By tonight, you will
be traditionally Mrs Kwanele Zondi
Me: I love the sound of that.
He stood up.
Me: Is your leg getting better?
Kwanele: Sort of
Me: When we get back home,
remind me to call your doctor so
we can have it checked out.
He nodded.
I know he will not do that so I'll
have to make a reminder on my
phone. I laid on the bed and
kissed my babies, they were
asleep but I wanted them to
wake up, I've missed them so
much. I've been spending too
much time just focusing and
getting everything in place. Which
reminds me, I needed to call my
project planner, King Nkosinathi
has given me land for my project
so I shall put everything into
place. He told me that the
construction workers have
started with the building, I need
to keep making sure that he
doesn’t run out of funds.
Everything seemed to be in place
and I decided to just go simple
and name it Nosipho's cooking
school, I'm just happy it's in my
name and there's nothing fancy
about it. I will offer lessons for
free for anyone who stays in our
shelters and other people will
have to pay, I didn't want the
fees to be too high. Kwanele
suggested that I should also
start working on publishing my
own cookbook, that I will do after
everything is up and running. I
love how he supports me and
makes sure I that I make all my
dreams come true. Azibe came and
called me telling me I am needed
downstairs. He stayed with the
kids and I was called to just
confirm that I know the Zondi's
and I am not being forced into
this marriage etc. I was glad
that the Bilose's were also part
of the negotiations, I know my
father would be very hurt if he
would be excluded, I am his
daughter after all. I am his
daughter before I am Achebes
daughter. In all honesty, I love
both my fathers but if I had to
choose, I would choose daddy
Bilose at any time with no doubts.
That man is my rock. I went back
to my room and had a chat with
Azibe
Azibe: Sooo, princess Emihle...
Me: A-ha, what about her?
Azibe: No never mind
Me: No, no, no, start talking.
Azibe: Me and my big mouth,
sister please don't tell anyone
about this. Jonah will kill me.
Sister, it seems very strange
that I have siblings and I'm
actually a big sister to someone,
not just one person but many boys.
I nodded and let him continue
Azibe: I think Jonah likes
Princess Emihle. He has been
talking a little too much about
her and he wanted me to find out
more about her. And so I
thought, my lovely sister is her
friend and she might help.
Me: What do you want to know?
Azibe: Is she married or in the
process of marriage?
Me: No, she's very single.
Azibe: She isn't promised to any
prince right? I don't know how it
works in South Africa but here it
does happen that you're promised
to some prince.
Me: I hope I'm not promised to
some prince because I will not do
that nonsense.
Azibe: Technically you're married
already so don't worry you're safe.
Now back on Emihle
Me: Well as far as I know, she's
not promised to any Prince, her
father would never do that to
her.
Azibe: Good.
He quickly left and I made a
mental note that I will speak to
Jonah. Speak of the devil, he just
came in.
Jonah: Chikondi, I hope you're
well. I came to see my niece and
nephew.
Me: You're just in time, they're
awake. I've been trying to wake
them up, I miss them.
Jonah: So much torture. I hate
being disturbed in my sleep.
He took them and luckily they
didn't cry. He's very muscular,
very dark and has bright brown
eyes. He keeps his beard and
short hair. Ever since I saw him
he has been in a suit, very well
dressed and formal. I don't know,
he's just not the type of guy you
can easily predict and it seems as
if he doesn't talk much.
Me: Are you okay?
Jonah: Yes I'm fine. I just have
alot on my mind
Me: Do you stay here or overseas
with dad?
Jonah: I stay here but in another
village close by.
Me: With? I hope you don't mind
the questions I'm just trying to
get to know my almost twin
He laughs a bit and focuses on
Luthando who is grabbing his
beard. I was now carrying
Lukhanyo who seemed like he still
wanted to sleep, my baby boy, I
disturbed his peaceful sleep.
Jonah: I'm 27 years old, I'm a
doctor and I'm based in a nearby
village and I stay alone. I'm just
a loner, I don't like people's
company that much thats why I
chose to be away from my
brothers and my father. I just
enjoy my own company
I nodded.
Me: Nora is your mother?
Jonah: No. The Queen is my
mother
Me: Hayboh uthin wena kimi!?
The Queen as in, King Achebe's
wife? Your fathers brother?
He laughed, he could see how in
shock I am. I don't believe this,
I don't believe him. Hayboh unjan
kanti uMoses? I really want to
know more about this.
Jonah: Yes thats the lady I'm
talking about. Your father and
her used to date before she was
married to the King. Apparently
she dated the King to make my
father jealous after they broke
up but things happened and they
fell inlove and got married soon
after.
Me: Wow.
Jonah: Crazy I know.
Me: So who is the special lady in
your life? You can't be this
handsome and single, who is she?
Jonah: Well I'll have to disappoint
you, I am single.
Me: Why?
Jonah: Most girls don't interest
me, I don't know, they just bore
me mostly because the girls I've
been with are just with me
because I'm from the royal
family.
I looked at him and nodded. So he
is interested in Emihle because
she is also from a Royal family so
she wouldn't really be excited
about the benefits of royalty
because she has her own, makes
sense. He looked at me and smiled
Me: What?
Jonah: Azibe cannot keep his
mouth shut. He told you didn't
he?
Me: What? No, I don't know what
you're talking about.
Jonah: You can't lie. I should've
known when I saw him rushing
out of your room. I like your
friend, there's just something
about her. Never mind that she's
royal and all but she seems
different. Its a pity she doesn't
even notice me or even just look
at me. I greeted her earlier on
trying to get to talk to her just a
brief conversation but she just
greeted back and walked away.
Me: Surely she wasn't paying
attention and she had something
to do...
Jonah: She wasn't paying
attention to me and she wont.
"Simi has been trying to call you
but you're not...." - We looked at
the door and it was Emihle
barging in and stopped talking
when she saw that I had
company
Emihle: Oh sorry to disturb, Azibe
said you're alone in here. Hi Jonah.
Nosipho, Simi has been trying to
call you.
After she said what she wanted
to say, she left. Jonah was still
looking at the door where she was
standing.
Jonah: She doesnt even give me a
chance to respond back.
Me: You're overthinking this.
Emihle is just Emihle, just talk to
her, she loves talking and has a
thousand questions so she'll talk
to you if you just calm down and
talk.
Jonah: Okay. Enough about
Emihle, tell me, how does he do it?
Me: Who?
Jonah: Kwanele, I've never seen a
blind man who does so much ever
in my life. It cannot be true, the
man can see Nosipho I refuse to
believe it.
I laughed at him, he was so
convinced that Kwanele isn't blind
at all.
Me: I don't blame you for feeling
this way. I also refused to
believe it when I first met him
but hey, the man is blind.
Jonah: Very fascinating. Everyone
is talking about him in the village,
we're all just very impressed but
tell me, what's going on with his
leg? It looks like his kneecap has
been dislocated
Me: I don't know, woah wait, yey!
You're a doctor, great! We'll kill
two birds with one stone.
Jonah: Elaborate?
Me: You'll do a check up on him
please do?
Jonah: I will do so.
Sis Zethu came in and followed by
Kwanele. I stood up and hugged
him then kissed his cheek?
Kwanele: You're with someone
Me: Yes I am
Jonah: How does he do that? I
haven't made any sound but he
could tell someone is here
Me: Never under-estimate my
mans senses, he might not be able
to use his eyes but he's other
sense work just fine.
Kwanele: Those are the words I
used on her everytime she
questioned me.
Jonah: I don't think we met
yesterday, my name is Jonah
Achebe, her big brother and
almost twin
Kwanele: Pleased to meet you, I'm
Kwanele Zondi, the husband.
Me: Everything went well
Kwanele: Yes my love.
Finally! After everything that
went down, I am happy that
everything was worth it. The
lobolo has been paid and accepted
by the our late forefathers. I can
finally say I am Mrs Zondi. I told
Kwanele that Jonah thinks he's
kneecap is a problem and they
were busy with checking it out
while I went downstairs to look
for Emihle. I bumped into my dad
Me: Daddy
Dad: Mrs Zondi
I laughed at him then we
hugged. He told me that
everything went well with the
negotiations. Apparently Moses
said he will not have any say it in
but he will just be present, he
ended over the right to my dad.
That's sweet, I need to thank
him. We then went our separate
ways. I found Emihle sitting
outside with one of my brothers,
I can't really recall his name
properly, but I do know he is the
15year old. I just don't remember
his name.
Me: Hey bro
Him: Hello Sis
He smiled and excused himself.
Me: What's his name?
Emihle: Hawu this is your brother
and you forget his name. Its Kyle
Me: Wow oh, there's too many of
them and most have really
complicated names and its all hard
to recall. Let's take a walk
Emihle: Where to? We both don't
know this village I don't want to
get lost
Me: Around the yard man or lets
just sit here it's fine.
We remained silent for a while, I
really didn't know how will I
approach this matter, why am I
suddenly nervous? She looked at
me waiting for me to say
something
Me: You know Azibe told me
something crazy I didn't know
about princesses, that here, they
are promised to some prince when
they are young and when they are
old enough, they get married.
Emihle: Yes that's true it
happens
Me: Are you promised to some
prince?
Emihle: No.
Me: So who is the guy you said you
were checking out yesterday? Has
he made any move todsy?
Emihle(giggles): No, I don't think
I'll ever see him again, he was
just part of the guests. Plus I
was just admiring his cuteness
nothing much. I don't like him in
that way.
Me: Soo who do you like in that
way?
Emihle: No one. Wait, why are you
asking me all this?
Me: I just realized you're very
single and you seem to be okay
about it. Not that it's a bad
thing or something but you also
deserve some love.
Emihle: I know do, I really know I
do and I long to have the same
love you guys experience but in life
we don't always get what we
want and not everything is meant
for you. I have a life that was
chosen for me before I was even
born, now that is what I'm
destined for.
With that said she stood up and
left. She bumped into Jonah and
he held her.
"Are you okay?"- Jonah asked
She nodded and ran off.
Jonah: What did you say to her?
Me: I don't know but I feel as if
there's just so much more to
what she just said.
I told him what we were talking
about and how I was trying to
find out more about why she is
single.
Me: She said she has a life that
was chosen for her before she
was even born, that is what she
is destined for. So that means she
isn't destined for Love? Or am I
reading too much into it?
Jonah: Strange, but maybe when
she is ready she will tell you. Just
give her time and let her own
story unfold.
I nodded and he told me that
Kwanele will be fine in just two
days. We took a walk around the
village, with bodyguards following
us. People were greeting us and
bowing down, they would say
somethings that I didn't
understand and Jonah translated
for me. We spent the rest of the
afternoon very well and I enjoyed
my stay here. After dinner, we
were all packed and ready to
leave, we were travelling back to
Durban.
KingA: It was an absolute
pleasure to have you in our land.
Your presence has made such a
huge change in our lives Princess
and we hope this isn't the last we
see of you and your family
Me: It definitely isn't the last my
king, you will be seeing more of me
very soon and thank you for the
great and warm welcome, I will
be forever grateful, I will
remember each and everyone of
you even I lay on my deathbed.
Moses: Hey don't speak about
death man.
We laughed and everyone was
hugging on another saying their
goodbyes.
Azibe: Jonah, hug Princess Emihle
and bid her farewell
He whispered to Jonah and hit
his shoulder. I just laughed
silently as I watched him push
him over to Emihle and Emihle
hugged him. He looked like he's
body was in shock
Moses: My Chikondi
Me: Father
Moses: As soon as I land in South
Africa in a few days, I will come
see you.
Me: Okay father and thank you
for letting my dad lead the
negotiations, I appreciate it.
Moses: It was the right thing to
do, he raised you and he did a good
job at it. He deserves to have a
full say in your life.
I hugged him and then we said
our goodbyes. We went into the
cars and we were driven to the
airport.
The next day we were invited for
lunch at Lwazi's place. Kwanele's
leg was getting well and he could
walk properly. He couldnt keep his
mouth shut about Jonah, he liked
him and apparently they have a
"connection"
Kwanele: Buttercup, are the
babies dressed and fed?
Me: Yes babe. And when are you
getting ready?
Kwanele: Don't worry about me, I
know you'll take hours and hours
so in the last hour of you getting
ready, I'll get ready.
We gave Sis Zethu the week off
so she can go to Mbumbulu then
come back for the white wedding
which is happening in just a weeks
time. Kwanele just chilled on the
bed with the kids while I
showered and got ready for the
lunch. I looked gorgeous, I was
wearing one of the dresses I got
from Malawi. After I was done, I
took out clothes for Kwanele then
put my gown back on, anything
can happen while carrying these
two.
Me: Sdudla skamamakhe!
She always smiles when I say
that, she's my very own sdudla, I
played with them while Kwanele
got ready. I heard him groan
while the shower. Gosh what is
going on? I put the babies in the
cot and rushed to my man who
was still groaning in pain. I found
him sitting on the floor
Me: What happened?
Kwanele: I slipped and fell in the
shower.
Me: Let me help you up, you put
too much pressure on your leg.
I helped him up and walked him
to the bed. He sat down and he
just took this as an opportunity
to hold my ass and spank me.
Me: Kwanele, stop it
Kwanele: We still have some time,
just 15mins is enough
Me: Ngiyeke baby, we need to
check if you're not hurt plus the
babies are awake.
He groaned and this time around
he was just pretending.
Kwanele: My dick hurts, please
check it out.
Me: No
Kwanele: But you just said you
need to check if I'm not hurt and
I'm telling you that my dick needs
some checking out because it
hurts.
This guy!
Me: Get dressed.
He got dressed while he was busy
telling me about this big meeting
he needs to attend. Apparently he
will finally speak out to the media
about the fake death, alot has
even happened, I had forgotten
about it all.
Me: You've never told me the full
details
Kwanele: No one will ever know
about the full details. Its just to
clarify on what happened, it's
nothing you don't know. Plus,
after that, I need to check up on
the latest diamond stash.
Me: Don't you think it's time I
signed over your assets to you?
Kwanele: Why? Everything belongs
to you and the kids. And I'm
happy with that.
Me: So you have nothing on your
name? No Kwanele, you worked
too hard to have nothing in your
name
Kwanele: I do have alot in my
name but everything belongs to
the kids.
Me: Ay these kids are too rich. You
look good, my very handsome man.
Kwanele: Thank you.
We finished up and packed the
kids bags then we left. The
driver drove off and we were the
first to arrive
Simi: Whuu Malawi gave you some
complexion nyana
Me: Tsek Simi
She took the kids and I went to
the lounge while Kwanele went to
Lwazi who was in his office.
Me: Did you cook?
Simi: Weh no, I ordered.
Me: You will be the first one I
sign up for cooking lessons in my
cooking school. The others arrived
and Funeka, wuu, thank God my
pregnancy didn't do this to me. My
friend was just so ugly.
Funeka: Please Don't judge me
We laughed at her, her face was
swollen, her neck was pitch black
and her mouth looked like it was
navy, like she has flue or
something.
Ntethe: My wife looks beautiful
He also just wanted to laugh but
he knows he will be in trouble if he
laughs. The gents went to the
office while we sat and had
drinks. Khetho was glued to her
babies as she walked in.
Ntombi: Sooo bride to be? Is
everything going well with the
wedding planner?
Me: Yes, tomorrow we just need to
go for the dress fittings and
everything on our side is okay.
Buhle: I'm pregnant.
Simi: Huh?
We screamed and attacked her
with hugs, we were disturbed by
Luthando just crying out loud.
Such a party pooper
Me: My baby loves having all the
attention. Congratulations I'm so
happy for you
Simi: Ladies, follow me.
Emihle: And the gents?
Khetho: Don't worry about them.
I don't think they are very
interested on this lunch.
She made so much emphasis on
the word lunch. When we got
outside it wasn't lunch but a big
baby shower and baby welcoming
party. There was a beautiful set
up for the twins and for Funeka.
Me: Guys!!!
Emihle: Why didn't I know about
this?
Funeka was all emotional while
Khetho and I put the twins in
their special fluffy cots.
Buhle: We just wanted to do
something special for Funeka and
the twins plus we need to just
have fun and celebrate after
everything we have all been
through we need to just relax and
have fun. So ladies sit down and
have some fun, we have alcohol
and non alcoholic beverages.
We had fun and then the gents
decided to bless us with their
presence.
Menzi: May I say something?
We nodded and he stood up.
Menzi: Our journey has been an
interesting one, we've went from
sharing moments of laughter,
tears, heartbreaks, fights and
you can name it all. But we always
come out stronger than before.
Today we're gathered here to
celebrate the lives of my niece and
nephew and the unborn niece or
nephew that Funeka is carrying.
Thank you for making us feel so
old and blessing us with the
presence of these innocent angels.
We lost one of our own Thando and
we know she is looking over us.
And I also want to congratulate
Nosipho and Kwanele, we will
surely look dapper as we celebrate
your union. And to Vusi and Buhle,
congratulations, you will be great
parents. I'm happy for you. I
hope we all find happiness in our
lives and let the us bloom and be
the best versions of ourselves. To
us
Everyone: To us.

Insert 68
Khetho: And how do I look?
She did a 360 turn and I was
more than happy. She looked
breath taking and I couldn't ask
for more. The designer outdid
herself.
Me: You look beautiful
She was the last to put her
dress on, she said save the best
for last and she got her way
because she is my maid of honour.
I looked at all of them as they
walked away to go get changed.
The designer truly just gave me
exactly what we all wanted.
Ase: I enjoyed this.
She's also part of the bridal
party, she was so excited when I
asked her, she couldn't even
believe it.
Me: Well I think you will enjoy cake
tasting more.
We were doing the final
preparations for the wedding and
everything seemed to be in place
and ready for my wedding day. I
was doing this a bit different, I
am having a breakfast wedding.
The wedding will be in the
morning, by 11am everything will
be done and dusted. Everyone
didn't understand this including my
husband but I believe it is unique
and very simple. I just invited
friends and family so it will be a
very small and intimate breakfast
wedding. Today we are spending
all day together, just us ladies
and having no disturbances from
the guys at all. The Limo, yes we
hired a limo took us to our next
venue which was at the Spa. My
wedding planner organized this
and the baker and caterer will set
up there for the cake and food
tasting. We got there and got our
massages, facials and some body
waxing
Simi: I always swear I'm not
going to do this again but this
time, I really really swear.
She was being the very dramatic
Simi as always. We sat outside
where they had set up for us. We
were having drinks and snacks as
they were setting up the
breakfast menu. It was your
normal daily breakfast, we'll have
a variety of cereals and the
greasy breakfast. From
croissants, bacon, fruit salad,
beans,sausage, pancakes etc you
name it. Everything that screams
breakfast will be available.
Funeka: How did you get Kwanele
to agree to this? Did he even
understand what it is?
Me: Nope, I just got what I
want. If I'm happy, he is happy.
He just said he wants to marry
me and that's it.
We sat in silence for a while and
then I decided to break the
silence.
Me: So Asemahle, how's life?
Ase: It's okay sis, everything is
going well at school and I'm doing
well
Funeka: And Kwenzo?
Ase: We're just cool friends
Me: Hawu you're just friends now?
Ase: The relationship didn't work
out. Kwenzo is a player who isn't
ready to change and just focus on
one girl. Yes he loves me and I
love him but he is just him. I
don't know how to explain it, one
minute he is committed no
cheating and flirting with other
girls and the next, he is confessing
that he slept with someone else.
So I decided to just break up
with him and just focus on myself.
I have alot to work hard for and
one thing I don't like about
Kwenzo is how he always wants
to do things for me. I know he is
capable of taking care of me and
all but I don't want that. I want
to provide for myself and be
independent and not depend on him
for anything. I'm too young for
that.
Simi: I understand how you feel. I
really do because that's the same
problem we have with Lwazi. He
wants us to settle down and all
but I'm not doing that with him
until he understand that I am
not his child. Until he understands
that I am my own woman. Yes he
has money and I can sit at home
and bare babies for the rest of
our lives but no. I don't want
that, yes there will be a time
where we have babies and I sit
at home and raise them but guys,
I'm still just 24 I'm not ready
for that next step in my life and
he is 36, he is ready mentally
financially and emotionally and he
is stable enough to get married
and have kids. He is getting older
and I know he longs for a family
and all but I'm just not there
yet. That's what you get for
dating a man who is 12 years
older than you
She giggles and you could see how
this was worrying her
Ntombi: Well have you told him
what you're telling us right now?
Simi: No, I don't want to hurt
him. He seems so excited about
this baby making idea of his while
I'm not. He doesn't even know
that I'm on contraceptives.
Me: Woah that's some deep stuff.
I think you should tell him. I
understand both sides and the
only thing that could fix this right
now is that you just sit down and
talk to him. Communication is
important especially about such
important things. We wouldn't
want you guys fighting and end up
breaking up because of
miscommunication, you love each
other and I'm sure he can wait
for just a year or two. Lwazi is a
good man, I know he can be
stubborn but he will understand
Simi: Let's hope so. I'll tell him.
And how's the marriage Mrs
Ntanzi?
Funeka: It's good, and a bit
different. I guess once you say I
do, you guys just step into this
different phase. I cannot explain
it but you'll see how it is. But so
far so good, we're just waiting for
the baby to come and we're
happy.
Khetho: And we're happy for you.
Buhle: And you? What's going on in
the Zinga world.
Khetho: Alot actually, it's just
overwhelming. I'm experiencing a
very different kind of love. I'm
enjoying all the love I get but
I'm also just very scared I'm
scared he might turn out like
Khethelo, that's how it began
with Khethelo, we were happy
and inlove but look how things
ended.
Simi: Zinga isn't Khethelo. It's
understandable that you will be
scared but I don't think Zinga
will end up like Khethelo I'm not
saying Zinga isn't capable of
hurting you or anything because
we don't really know someone even
when we think we do but give him
the benefit of the doubt, he isn't
going to end up like Khethelo.
Khetho: I know and wena Emihle
wathula nje kwenzekan ngawe?(
And you Emihle, you're just so
quiet, what's going on with you?)
Emihle: Nothing. I'm just listening
to you
I thought about what she said
yesterday, I wonder what is
going on with her and I will get
to the bottom of this one way or
the other.
The food set up was done and we
sat on the table then started
dishing up.
Ntombi: Each and everyday I feel
as if I'm slowly turning into
Thando, it's like I'm adopting her
character, not only am I now
always wearing clothes but I'm
behaving like her, I'm enjoying
her favorite foods, her music and
just everything that has to do
with her. Its like being her
makes me feel like she is still
alive, its making me feel like doing
things this way is my coping
mechanism. I'm slowly loosing
Ntombi and becoming
Thandolwethu. I don't know if it
it is a bad thing or not but for
now it feels good. The therapist
in me tells me that this will
escalate and end up in a bad way,
that I should stop doing this but
the Ntombi in me who was head
over hills inlove with Thando says
nothing is wrong with this, you're
holding yourself together, you're
keeping her alive in your heart
and in that way you won't be
lonely and you won't break down.
It's like I'm pulling myself
together but I'm falling apart.
Do you understand me? Do you
guys get me? What should I do?
Which voice should I listen to?
Worst thing is that she won't
stop appearing in my dreams, she
tells me I'm beautiful in her
clothes, I rearranged her room
the way I always wanted it to be
and she laughed and said I'm
getting my way now that she's
gone, that made me feel bad so
when I woke up I fixed it and she
told me she didn't mean to offend
me. She still scrubs my back when
I bath. She's with me all the
time and I don't want her to
leave. But then again, sometimes
the therapist in me overpowers
the Ntombi in me and tells me
that I'm damaging myself more
than trying to cope.
Damn.
We were all just silent and looking
at her. We were shocked and
didn't even know what to say.
Funeka was just in tears. Ntombi
was looking at us hoping for an
answer but I don't think any of
us even had an answer or words
to utter.
Ntombi: Sorry never mind what I
just said.
Silence
Silence
Silence.
I believe only Ntombi would've
been able to answer this but now
she is the one seeking for
answers.
Me: Babe, I don't know what to
say but I think the only person
who holds the answer is you but
from my perspective, as your
cousin and friend, someone who
cares about you and your well-
being, I think you need to start
listening more to the therapist in
you. Angithi in your line of work
people come to you seeking help
trying to escape from the voices
in their head looking for a
professionals advice which always
works. Now you listen to the
professional advice you always
give to your patients and heal
yourself. Do this for you and it will
also make you sane and Thando
will be happy for you too.
Khetho: Or if you feel like is too
much because at the end of the
day the therapist in you and the
Ntombi in you is the same person.
Just two different voices in one
body. Sometimes a healer cannot
heal himself right? Seek advice
from another therapist, attend
sessions. You know these people
and you were in the same classes
with them, find the one you trust
and someone who knows his or her
work and then you will start
attending their sessions. This will
be good for you and it will help
you.
Ntombi: Thanks guys, maybe it
will help.
Emihle: You should start by
burning some of the clothes. Her
spirit is all over them, you should
let go of her because you're
holding onto her. She cannot rest
at all anf that is top heavy for
me to carry. Please let her go
Buhle: What do you mean it is too
heavy for you to carry? Are you
also seeing her?
Emihle: I'd rather talk about this
in a more private place and when
the guys are with us too.
I was rather just so curious, I
wasn't the only one. Ntombi had
her big eyes all over Emihle who
suddenly just seemed like she was
not in the mood of being here
anymore.
Ase: Okay!, some wine?
Buhle: Yes
Me: Ayboh wena
Buhle: Argh ay I forgot. Juice for
me and Funeka
We laughed at her and how
frustrated she was. We had a
few drinks and finished up all
that was planned for the day and
we then headed to the mall and
did some shopping. The mood was
beginning to be back to normal
again but I couldn't get it off my
head. While we were on our way
home I got a call from Jonah.
"Dear brother, hello."
" Hello to you too sister. Sorry to
bother you but please book a
hotel for the family and we'll be
arriving tomorrow by noon."-
Jonah said.
"Okay I'll tell Buhle to do so.
She's head of accomodation." I
replied
"Soooo how's the princess...?" He
asked as he cleared his throat.
"Princess?"- I asked. I knew
exactly who he was talking about.
"Come on, you know who I'm
talking about. I'm with your
father now and he cannot find
out. He'll overthink things and I
don't want him to find out just
yet. At least till I know that she
actually does recognize that I
even exist. I cannot forget the
hug she gave me. I still smell her
scent, Its stuck on my nostrils."
He seemed so blown away even
when he was whispering you can
tell that he is very attracted to
her. We spoke for a while and
then we ended the call after I
assured him that his princess is
okay. He was looking forward to
seeing her even if he doesn't get
to talk to her. We got home and
the gents were watching tv with
the twins in their cots while
playing with three young boys. We
looked at each other feeling very
confused.
Ntombi: Good day gentlemen
They just looked at us and
greeted as if everything is
normal.
Simi: Children, close your ears one
minute.
The kids did as they were told.
Simi asked who the kids belonged
to and they are Vusi's nephew's.
Woooo.
We all let go of the breaths we
were holding in. I giggled as I
realized how tense we all were.
Me: Did they even eat?
Zinga: Yeah
Me: And what time was it?
Vusi: Maybe 11 why?
Khetho: Did you see the time
now? And the twins?
Menzi: They've been drinking their
bottles all day.
Me: Wow.
Emihle: We're never leaving the
kids with you ever again
Buhle: Come boys, aunty is going
to make you some food.
They followed Buhle to the
kitchen while I took the twins
and bathed them. They were
puking non stop, they really over
fed them. After a few minutes
they were fast asleep. I took a
quick shower and changed into
comfortable clothes then I went
back to the lounge.
Me: Did you fetch your suits?
Kwanele: No
Me: And why not?
Kwanele: We were babysitting.
Plus we're watching a very
important game here
Lwazi: Those decor people, they
came and they were making so
much noise, we had no choice but
to kick them out. They'll be back
after the game.
I just couldnt believe it. The
volume was also just very very
high today, I know they do it to
accommodate Kwanele but I don't
think he needs the volume to be
this high, I mean he isn't deaf at
all. I cleaned up the baby toys
that were all over the lounge
Kwenzo: If you could just move a
little we'd appreciate that. We
can't see.
I threw a teddybear on him.
They're just being jerks.
Me: Yaz Emihle has something
very important to discuss with us
Ntethe: If it needs our full
attention it can wait till the
game is over. Just 30minutes
left.
Me: Jerks.
And then I was kicked out of the
lounge. In my house.
Wow.
I went to the kitchen and chilled
with the ladies and the kids who
then went to play outside after
eating. We cooked while just
listening to music and having
random conversations about the
latest celebrity gossip. After
30minutes of so much noise, the
soccer game was finally over and
they took it upon themselves to
come and join us in the kitchen and
finally pay attention to us.
Kwanele: Babe,(kisses my cheek)
I missed you so much.
Me: And when did you realize this?
After the game huh?
I asked sarcastically and he just
chose to ignore me and continue
showering me with kisses.
Zinga: How was your day?
He asked as he was also now very
glued to Khetho. These men!
Lwazi: So what's the important
news you have for us Emihle? Who
do we have to take care of now?
We better get to the bottom of
the matter as soon as possible
Me: So now you care?
Vusi: Why are you all just so edgy
and moody today?
Buhle: Ayboh weVusmuzi?
He held his arms up in surrender
and we just laughed then went to
the lounge. I laid my head on my
mans chest and we cuddled
Me: I missed you too
I whispered and he had a silly
smirk on his face. I knew I was
going to get some tonight! Just
the thought of it made me wish
I could have him right here and
right now.
Emihle: I don't know how to
explain this or where to even
start
Menzi: Start from the beginning
I rolled my eyes at him and he
shrugged.
Emihle: As you know and as you
witnessed a bit of my gift with
Nosipho's situation. You all know
that I have a gift and it is
beyond what you can see or what
you know. I also am still trying to
understand it and fully discover
my capabilities and how far it can
go. I wouldn't say I am a healer,
or, a seer, or a sangoma. I don't
think I am any of those for that
matter. But what I do know is
that, whatever it is that in
carrying and whatever powers
have been invested in me are
becoming bigger than I thought.
But my gift is who I am and
what I am. It controls my entire
life and it is my entire life. A few
days ago Nosipho asked me about
my relationship status and why
am I not seeking a relationship
and not so worried about having a
partner to share the rest of my
life with but in all honesty I long
for what each and everyone of you
have. I long for a good stable and
lovely relationship which is goofy
and full of love but it isn't
destined for me. It's even more
complicated that I am a princess.
I don't know what the future
holds for me, even my parents
haven't told me the honest truth
about my life but all I know is
that I will never get married. So
I just figured that getting into a
relationship and focusing on it
would be a waste of time, not only
on my side but I would be wasting
the mans time too. I mean, why
date someone and be invested in
something that will never even
become something more. I don't
want to break anyone's heart at
all. It hurts but I've accepted
my situation and I need you to
also accept it. That goes for you
Nosipho, I know you've been
trying to hook me up with your
brother. And wena Menzi, better
tell that colleague of yours to
stop calling me. I'm not available
and I'll never be. And I need you
to respect that and don't feel
sorry for me at all. This is my
situation and it will never change.
I don't want you to pity me and
stop being romantic and
affectionate with your partner's
in front of me just because you
don't want to make me feel bad
or you want to accommodate me,
no, don't do that. It will hurt me
because I'm living my love
fantasies through you guys
We laugh for a while and get
silent again.I have no words and
I don't know how to feel about
her situation but we have to
accept it and respect it. I don't
know what I'm going to say to
Jonah but I'll just let things be.
I will not tell him about this, it
isn't my place to tell and he will
just see for himself that Emihle
isn't interested. Emihle loves love
and she's surrounded by great
relationships full of love, not only
by us but her parents and their
friends. Those are relationships
she looks up to but she cannot
have one of her own? That's just
said. But as she said, not
everything is meant for you and
we all have our own different
destinies and hers just chose to
be a unique one which means
compromising and sacrificing some
things you wanted and thought
you deserved but they are just
not yours. It hurts.
Menzi: Don't worry wena skeem,
I'll be supporting you in this world
of being single for a very long
time.
Emihle: Thank you skeem sam
Menzi: When they cuddle we'll also
cuddle, ngeke sidlale bona lana.
Menzi just had to be Menzi, I'm
just glad it put a smile on
Emihle's face and she was
laughing. She seemed content and
happy with her life. Indeed her
life is just a unique journey which
is only meant for the brave and
strong. Not for the weak and
faint hearted.
Emihle: There's more. Thando is
restless, she's with me most of
the time. Her spirit is getting
really heavy on my shoulders.
Uyangisinda and nina kumele
nimudedele. Kwanele, I know you
see her in your dreams
Kwanele: How do you know that?
I didnt tell anyone
Me: Babe you should know that
you don't really question Emihle
anymore. She just knows.
Emihle: Let your heart rest and
be at ease that her death wasn't
your fault and you need to let her
go. As I told you too Ntombi, let
her go so she can be at ease. I
will also have to speak to
Gagashe and MaMzobe. After
that all will be well.
They nodded. Kwanele didn't seem
to be at ease. I will have to talk
to him and convince him more
about taking this seriously and
actually letting her go. We spoke
for a while just about random
things and we got to meet Vusi's
brother when he came to fetch
his kids. They stayed for supper
and after all was done and
tomorrow's plans were set they
left.
Kwanele: So, It's just the two of
us now.
Me: Just the two of us( I sing)
Kwanele: So what are we going to
do about this wonderful thing of
being alone?
Me: We'll go check on the babies
because we're not alone
Bummer!
We went to check on the babies
and they were fast asleep even
after I changed their nappies. We
chilled on the couch in our room
just catching up. Our catching up
session ended up being a very hot
love making session on the couch
which ended up on the floor.
Kwanele: I love you so much.
Me: I love you too.
Kwanele: I don't think you
understand or even know how
much I love you. I don't know, I
just feel like there's a sudden
need for me to remind you and tell
you how much you mean to me.
I'm sorry for not telling you this
everyday.
Me: It doesn't have to be
everyday my love. I know you love
me and I have no doubts. I'm
happy, with you.
Kwanele: And you'll be much
happier when you see what I got
you, go check on your drawers.
The first one in the shelf.
I stood up and did as I was told.
It was a bunch of roses with
chocolates.
Me: Auw, this is so cute. How
romantic of you Mr Zondi. Thank
you babe
Kwanele: I'm glad you love them
I laid down next to him and we
ate the chocolates together
Kwanele: I love you, never forget
that.
Me: You're scaring me now and
making me emotional
Kwanele: Okay sorry buttercup.
Me: Soo, what do you think about
what Emihle said?
Kwanele: I honestly don't know. I
can't stop thinking that maybe
there was something we could've
done. I think about her alot and
I end up dreaming about her. I
know I have to let her go so
that is what I'll do just so her
soul can rest easy. I want the
best for my sister and if it is
what she wants then I'll do so.
I'm just not sure about Ntombi
I told him about what happened
today and what she was saying.
Kwanele: That's what I was
worried about. Lwazi did mention
how she know dresses like Thando
and that all just screams
professional help, the way she
was when Thando died, it showed
that she will either fall into
depression or deal with this is a
dangerous way. She needs this
and we have to make sure she
has her own therapists and
psychologist.
Me: I guess you're right babe
Kwanele: As always my dear. As
always
So arrogant.

Insert 69
I believe the most important
people in your life have to be your
family and your friends. We were
gathered at Gagashe's house,
looking dazzling as everyone was
dressed to impress. It was a
lovely family day to celebrate, well
Menzi said it is a "Pre-wedding
party" he said it is needed
especially since they're only going
to eat breakfast at the actual
wedding.
Kwanele: Baby, I don't want to
keep this tie on anymore.
Gosh, my man can be a cry baby
when he wants to. It hasn't even
been an hour since we got here
but he already wants to ruin his
outfit. I took it off and fixed his
collar, opened two buttons of the
shirt and he looked so damn sexy.
Me: There you go.
Kwanele: Thank you Buttercup.
"I don't know what it is that you
guys have but it is just soo
amazing. Anyone can tell that
you're both just soo inlove!"
We smiled at her and she hugged
us. She introduced herself as
Kamogelang. Everyone was here,
by everyone I mean everyone,
From Mpho, KJ, Thapelo, Bongani
and Zandile, Nasiphi, Nceba.
Everyone just popped when King
Nkosinathi and Naye came. They
said their friends didn't want to
remain behind
"And so we decided to gate crash
the family day without being
invited "- Athi said. It was an
absolute pleasure to meet them
all. There's just this gentlemen, I
swear this guy is the perfect
definition of "ukuzitshela", Junior.
I never even know what to say
to him. I just smiled as he
greeted and spoke to Kwanele. I
decided to go join the ladies, it
was very loud. Everyone was just
listening to Sis Zandile and Simi,
the two of them just clicked and
they're are so noisy.
Zandy: Here comes the bride!!
Hehe I heard you have no
bachelorette party?
Me: No I don't.
Zandy: Why?
Me: I don't want it. I feel like
it's unnecessary
Zandy: Oh I get you, you're the
Ntokozo type, the type that likes
to keep things simple. Well baby,
you're having a bachelorette
party, tonight. My house, it
starts at 9pm. Better be there
or I'll drag you there.
Nasi: And trust her when she
says that. She will drag you
Me: Okay I'll come.
So I've just earned myself a
bachelorette party.
Funeka: Weh nami ngiyeza, no big
stomach will stop me.
Ntombi: Hunny your man will stop
you.
Siya: Don't worry, they'll also have
their own bachelor party
Me: They will?
Siya: Yes.
I didn't know about all of that.
We just sat and had a very loud
and crazy conversation. My family
from Malawi arrived and it was
such a coincidence that Emihle
happened to be the one who
opened the door. Jonah instantly
had his eyes all over her.
Me: Hello!
I smiled and welcomed them, they
came in and joined us. It was a
full house indeed, surely we were
more than 50 here. The caterers
have alot to do.
Moses: You look beautiful my baby,
how are you feeling? Ready for
tomorow?
Me: I'm okay dad, I don't know I
just feel like its all just a dream
but I'm excited.
We spoke for a while until he saw
my dad and went to speak to him.
I hope these two really get along
because I wouldnt want any fued
between my fathers.
Azibe: My sister
Me: My brother
Azibe: There are beautiful women
here and most likely my age
Me: And you need to behave
yourself
Azibe: I will try my best. Atleast
I won't look like Jonah. Look at
him, busy staring at the lady, he
cannot even go say hi. I mean he
will get caught if he keeps on
staring that way.
I looked at Jonah, ah this guy is
so smitten. How do I stop this?
I wish I had a way to just
control all of this but I cannot. If
things were my way I'd be having
them ontop of each other sucking
faces and making babies!
Perfect.
Me: Aaaah this is cute and sad
Azibe: Let's go talk to him before
he makes a fool out of himself. As
Malawian men, we still have a
good reputation to keep up.
Me: Really now?
Azibe: I know you've seen how
handsome we look.
I laughed at him and he we went
to Jonah. Azibe literally gave him
a slap at the back of his head
Jonah: What are you doing? You do
not want us to fight in public and
embarrass our sister.
Azibe: You're already
embarrassing us with the
staring. Act normal please
With that said he left and went
to Siqalo. Honestly Azibe is just
his own unique character
Jonah: He can be too much
sometimes
Me: But he is right about the
staring. Emihle's senses work very
well and she'll be able to tell that
someone is staring at her
Jonah: She looks beautiful. But
anyways, I should forget about
her
Me: Yes, you should.
Jonah: I should? I thought you
would say I should go greet her
or something a little more
encouraging.
Me: Uhm...
Jonah: There's something you're
not telling me?
Me: Jonah
Jonah: Speak so I can know that
I should forget about her and
stop myself from falling inlove
with her.
Gosh!
What did I get myself into? Okay,
what do I say? What do I say?
Come on Nosipho, come up with a
little white lie. Mmmmmh
Me: She doesnt like you.
Damn okay I shouldn't have said
that. Okay I can't possibly tell
him the real reason why? It isn't
my place to tell plus I think those
details are very confidential to
Emihle so I have to hurt Jonah.
Jonah: She said so?
Me: Not in so many words but
that's what she meant. I was
trying to score a few points for
you and she isn't interested.
Apparently she's into some guy...
Jonah: Some guy?
Me: Uhmm, yes, some guy... I'm
sorry
Jonah: Thank you for letting me
know. I hope she will be happy
with this guy and I will have to
get rid of whatever I thought I
felt for her. I mean it's just
feelings right? They'll fade away,
they come and go.
Me: Right.
Jonah: Excuse me.
What did I do?
He looked so hurt, rather he gets
hurt now right than in the long
run when he is serious and more
invested in the relationship. Okay
stop trying to console yourself,
there's no better situation in this
plus it wasn't really a full lie,
Emihle didn't say she likes Jonah
but she didn't say she doesn't like
him either. Argh, let me leave
this, I've done enough damage
already. Everyone was now headed
to the dinning table which was
very well set out. It is only today
that I realize how big Gagashe's
house is. The fact that he can
accommodate all of us means so
much. I don't think I've seen
such a large and long dinning
table, the set up was just
beautiful and you could tell that it
was very expensive. We all sat
down, there was actually small
cards which had your name on it
where you were seated. I was
sitting in between Kwanele and
Sis Siya. There's just something
about this woman, especially the
way she carries herself, there's
just that soothing aura about
her and you can just tell by looking
deep into her eye that this
woman has been through alot yet
she still stands strong.
Siya: Staring is rude
She giggles, I didn't realize how
much I was staring at her. I
probably made her feel
uncomfortable
Me: I'm sorry, you're beautiful
and there's just something about
you that's so interesting but I
can't tell what it is.
Siya: Thank you, I get that alot.
She smiled at me and I returned
the smile. We were served the
starter meal, our dishes were
separate with Kwanele. I took
my plate and put our food in one
plate. I put his napkin on and fed
him.
Kwanele: I feel some stares
Me: For some people here, its the
first time they see this so don't
mind them.
After a few minutes everything
was normal.
Kwanele: I almost stood up and
walked away.
Me: You can be a bit dramatic at
times but I understand.
Kwanele laughed and we continued
eating. The adults were having
their own conversations about
politics and business while we had
to listen to the boring
conversation.
Danny: Am I the only one who is
bored? The conversation is really
boring
Me: I'm bored too.
I looked at Sbahle and KJ, they
were sitting separately and
Sbahle was next to some guy I
didn't know. I made a mental note
to ask KJ about it, I already
foresee myself laughing because
he'll make a joke out of it.
Nasi: Well what do you want to
talk about Mr McKenzie?
Danny: We can talk about how
much I love you Mrs McKenzie.
Mrs Nasi McKenzie was just
incredibly beautiful, her eyes are
very attractive.
Buhle: This is so cute
Athi: Yey nina, stop being all
smooshy here, some people are
single in this table
Azibe: Very single
He eyed Jonah who clenched his
jaw. I wanted to laugh and they
decided to start talking about
their days when they were single.
Bonga: Those days were the best
and the worst. I remember,
Nkosinathi, Athi, Mpho and I
would go to the club and drown
our sorrows with alcohol, cigars
and ladies. And then after a few
hours we'd be bored and drunk. We
get home and still, we were lonely.
Mpho: The most painful thing
was how we were so inlove with
women who didn't seem like they
were interested, some were not
ready and some were just
stubborn. In my case, I was
deeply inlove with my wife here,
crazy Zandile, I was head over
heels inlove with her but she
wasn't ready yet. She wasn't
ready for a relationship and she
wasn't ready for me. Everything
happened in its own pace, our
relationship just blossomed
randomly and I believe that was
the best thing ever. When I
finally got her, I promised myself
I will never ever let this woman
go. This woman is crazy, I
literally have a cut on my left arm
because little crazy missy here
cut me with a knife, in my sleep
when she suspected I was having
an affair with a pilot I was
mentoring.
Zandy(giggles): But Mpho, that
girl was sending silly texts and I
got crazy
Menzi: You would've asked
Nceba: Oh trust me, Zandy
doesn't ask, she acts, very fast.
I did say she was one crazy
woman.
Bab'Vilakazi: How I met Lwazi's
mother was just very interesting.
We were in university, she was
doing her third year and I was
only in my first year. Yes, she was
older than me but I didn't care. I
knew I loved her and age didn't
matter. When I approached her,
she was not interested at all, she
told me I was just a kid who is
lost and doesn't know what he
wants in life. I was hurt but
that encouraged me more, she
had an attitude, she didn't have
time for nonsense. So the second
time I approached her, she was
with her friend, her friend
happened to be very much in love
with me. I was irritated because
she actually hooked us up, what
happened was, I asked her out on
a date and she said yes, but
instead her friend came to the
date not her. I was very angry
but it worked as a blessing in
disguise. I used her friend, I
dated her, but the relationship
was romantic only when Lwazi's
mother was around. She started
getting very jealous and she did
crazy things like telling her friend
that I'm cheating, making her
late on our dates and she went as
far as stealing her friends dress
when we were supposed to be
going to the varsities gala dinner.
Few days later she came to me
crying and confessing her sins, I
asked her why did she do all these
things and she said she was very
much inlove with the kid who is
lost and doesn't know what he
wants in life. And that my people,
was how I got Lwazi's mother
and soon after, we had this
problem child Lwazi.
Wow. What a beautiful and funny
love story. She was busy blushing
and looking down
Lwazi: Do you have anything to
say for yourself mom?
Her: All I can say is that all I did
was for my own benefit and it
paid out, I love him.
Nkosi: I loved Naye for 4 years, 4
years of trying my luck with her
until she finally gave in. I couldnt
believe it when she told me she
loves me too. It was just a
moment that I would never ever
forget in my life.
Simi: Okay this is cool, I love how
all of this is unfolding. Give me
two minutes and I'll come back
with a great question and answer
game. Be prepared.
Me: Let us move this beautiful
gathering to the lounge.
Emihle: Hold that though Simi,
You're part of the couples so you
cannot participate, I the very
single lady will be the facilitator
of the game, I'll need help.
Azibe: Jonah can help, he is very
single too.
Emihle: Okay come Jonah.
Jonah didn't believe that Emihle
just said his name, it literally
came out of her mouth.
Jonah stood up and followed
Emihle. While we went to chill at
the lounge just having drinks.
They came back carrying thumb
cards and stood infront of us. The
kids were playing outside and the
twins didn't want to be around us
so they were in one of the rooms
having their own fun
Jnr: I'll stay even though I'm
single
KwenzoMkhize: Me too
Menzi: I have an imaginary
girlfriend
We laughed at them and the
game started
Jonah: Okay, I have a question
for Sbahle
He looked around and Sbahle
raised her hand
Jonah: What do you hate the
most about KJ?
They're divorced though. Emihle
did this on purpose.
Sbahle: He doesnt listen
KJ rolled his eyes at her and
smiled. Sbahle, she was irritated.
I believe KJ was enjoying this
Emihle: Danny, what is the most
attractive physical feature Nasi
has?
Danny: Her eyes
I said it. Her eyes are just out of
this world.
Jonah: Gagashe, describe
MaMzobe in one word
Gagashe: Sweet.
Jonah: Bonga, describe Bee in one
word?
Bonga: Strange
We laughed at him so much. He
explained that Bee is too strange.
Emihle: Mr Bilose describe Mrs
Bilose in one word?
Dad: Courageous
Good one dad.
Emihle: Dad, share a memory you'll
never forget with mom
Nkosi: The first time we had sex,
I won't go into the deep details
Athi: Sifuna ukwazi!
Jonah: Kwanele, share a memory
you'll never forget with Nosipho
Kwanele: When she shot me. I'll
never forget that.
Kamo: You shot him!! You go girl!
We drank to that and laughed.
Funny how we're laughing about
it now. It was instense when it
actually happened
Jonah: Belinda, where is the
craziest place you've had sex?
Jonah looked at the card again
and laughed looking at Emihle who
just winked.
Belinda: The basement
There were whistles and cheers
Zandy: I wish that question was
for me
Moses: I doubt we want to know.
You seem freaky
Emihle: Lyanda, describe Ntokozo
in one word?
Lyanda: Intelligent
Emihle: Same question for you
Kwanele?
Kwanele: Strong
Emihle: What is your favorite
place in Simi's body Lwazi?
Lwazi: Obvious, the cookie jar.
Jonah: Ntethe, why did you marry
Funeka?
Ntethe: I need a woman like her
in my life, she completes me and
without her, I don't think my life
would be this stable and lovely.
Emihle: Zinga, what's the most
annoying thing Khetho does?
Zinga: Tickling my feet.
Jonah: Brian, what is the worst
thing you've done to Paula?
Brian: I wanted to kill her
We gasped and Paula giggled.
What the fuck?
Jonah: Why?
Brian: She wanted to leave me.
The only way out was killing us
both.
Damn.
Wow.
Jonah: Okay, let's continue.
The game continued and indeed it
is was just so much fun. It was
everything we needed to just
have a great day. After a few
hours we decided to leave
Zandy: Remember you have just
an hour and ladies, you're in my
house.
Me: How are you going to get
things ready in just an hour?
Ntokozo: She's a superwoman.
Menzi: Where are you going?
Nceba: Bachelorette party!!
KJ: You know what that means
gentlemen, Kwanele, You're having
your very own bachelor party. And
we're going wild!
Me: Maybe theres no need for all
of this.
Bonga: Don't worry, he is in good
hands.
Jonah: And he'll be right in time
for the wedding.
They were all suddenly so excited.
Kwanele: Bye babe, have fun. I
love you
Me: I love you too babe.
We kissed until they told us to
break it off. The parents were
staying behind to have their own
fun while we headed home.
Khetho: I just got a text from
Zandy, we're supposed to carry
our swimsuits and wear lingerie.
I wonder how she'll pull this off.
We freshened up and after we
were done we went to Zandy's
house. We wearing our beautiful
lingerie. When we got into the
house it was like we were in a club
Zandy: Surprise!!!
Naye: Come in and enjoy your last
night as a free women!
I was scared but excited. I just
wonder when did they do all this.
Phelo: You ladies look lovely and
sexy. We're about to get freaky!
The music played and it was Doja
Cat_Juicy.
What a night it is going to be.

Insert 70- Final Insert.

"Yathi'izibika insizwa
Kungena ngapha kuphume ngale
Ungixolele bhuti
Inkinga ayikho kuwe ikimi
Ngithi ukhona na?
Ongavuma ukuth uthando lulula
Ngithi ukhona na?
Othi othandweni kuyashelela
Seng'phelile ukusha mina
Seng'khathele ukusha mina
Seng'phelile ukusha mina
Seng'khathele ukusha mina
Ngiyesaba ukuwela ngonyawo,
ngonyawo
Indlela yothando iyahlaba
Indlela yothando iyahlaba."
Simi: Cha cha niyayizwa lengoma
ithini?(No no, do you hear what
this song is saying)
"Ngiyesaba ukuwela ngonyawo,
ngonyawo
Indlela yothando iyahlaba
Indlela yothando iyahlaba."
We sang along as we were doing
our final touches on the make up.
The speakers all over the yard
were booming Ngiyesaba by
Simmy. I wanted it to be
featured, I needed music
throughout the wedding because
that is an essential key to our
wedding, music has been a big
part of our relationship with
Kwanele, especially in the bedroom.
I guess it has been a tool of
communication to us
I looked at myself once again in
the mirror, I looked beautiful, not
only did I look beautiful but I felt
beautiful.
Ntombi: Amazing
There was a knock on the door
and it was my parents, my mom
and both the fathers.
Me: What a pleasant surprise.
Dad: We wanted to see our
princess before she walks down
the aisle
Mom: I wanted to kiss you and
give you this.
She indeed kissed me and gave me
a bracelet. I put it on and it had
the initials "K.M&N.C" which stood
for Kwanele Mbuso and Nosipho
Chikondi"
Me: Thank you mommy
Mom: I also gave it to Kwanele. I
wish you well my babies
Moses: We should go. You my lady,
need to walk down the aisle now.
Me: And I'll be walking with both
my favourite men.
Dad: As we take you to your most
favourite
I laughed and mom rushed out
while I got a small pep talk from
these big guys. And then we went
out.
Okay. This is it.
The instruments started playing,
it was the musical instruments of
"Brandy_Have you ever"
There he was, standing right
there waiting for me with Menzi
whispering in his ears, probably
telling him how I look.
Moses: You can still run, theres
still time
Dad: You can tell us if he ain't
treating you right, we'll kill him
now.
Moses: No hesitation at all.
Me: Okay stop
I laughed at these grandpa's and
just shook my head. The twins
were with Sis Zethu and
MaMzobe. My fathers handed me
over and Kwanele held my hand.
Kwanele: I love you
Me: I love you too
The programme started and
everything went accordingly, the
preacher said a verse and
proceeded
Preacher: Is there anyone who
believes that these two shall not
marry? Speak now or forever hold
your peace.
I was literally holding in my
breath. I think I would shoot
anyone who would stop this
wedding
Preacher: Okay let us proceed.
The couple has asked to say their
own vows and we will start with
Miss Nosipho
Me: People wondered why a women
like me would love a blind man, it
has been said more than once
that I don't love you and I'm
after your money but little do
they know that what we share is
more than love. Kwanele I fall
deeper inlove with you each and
every day. You've made me feel
secured, loved and wanted. Not
only that but you've made me
grow, emotionally and mentally.
You believed in me more than I
believed in myself and for that I
thank you. I love you and I
promise to love you for the rest
of our lives, indeed only death will
do us apart.
Kwanele: Buttercup, everyone
around here would agree with me
when I say you changed me. You
changed me for the better and
made me discover a part of
myself that I didn't know. You
changed a monster into a human
and taught me how to love, most
importantly you taught me how
to love myself. You blessed me
with our twins, never in my life did
I ever think I would be the
father that I am today and
that's all thanks to you. Nosipho,
I don't know what my life would
be without you and that's why I
never want to have a life without
you. You loved a blind man, a man
who has never seen you before
yet you made it feel like I see you
each and every day. The love and
support you've given me is beyond
what any other human can give.
I believe you were made for me. I
love you Nosipho and death will
not separate us because when I
die, I want to die with you
because even in the after life, I
will not make it without you.
I was in tears and Khetho quickly
wiped my tears off. We put on the
rings.
Preacher: With that said, Nosipho
Bilose Achebe, do you take
Kwanele Zondi to your lawfully
wedded husband?
Me: I do.
Preacher: Kwanele Zondi, do you
take Nosipho Bilose Achebe to be
your lawfully wedding wife?
Kwanele: I do.
Preacher: With the anointing
invested in me by the Lord, I now
pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss your bride
Kwanele: I thought that part
would never come, my wife
Me: Well it has, my husband.
We kissed and he was holding onto
me for dear life.
Kwanele: Fuck, can't we escape for
a while just for a quickie?
Me: We do need to go change so
let's make the moment last.
Everyone was cheering and
throwing rose petals on us. It
was indeed a beautiful moment
and we went to the house to go
"change". When we got there he
pushed me to the wall and kissed
me. We stumbled until we got to
the bed and took our clothes off.
We wasted no time with foreplay,
we both neeeded each other. I
was riding on him like never
before, we were pouring out our
emotions.
Kwanele: Say you love me
Me: I love you babe
He flipped me over and I laid on
my back allowing him to take full
control over my body and indeed he
pleased me. It felt like it was
the first and last time we're
being intimate. I don't know if it
is because of the wedding
emotions but I was in tears and
so was he.
We both reached our destination
and we laid down trying to catch
our breath.
Me: Why are you crying?
Kwanele: I'm in disbelief. I also
don't know why I'm feeling this
way but I guess we're
overwhelmed and happy.
Me: I guess so
Kwanele: We should go back and
continue with the wedding. People
are waiting on us
Me: I wish we could stay like this
all day long
Kwanele: We will do so on our
honeymoon.
We changed and went back to the
reception area
Menzi: Finally the bride and groom
decide to grace us with their
presence. It is time for the bride
and groom to have their first
dance.
Everyone stood up and watched
us. I held his hands and we stood
in the middle of the reception. I
know my man cannot dance, I'm
not much of a dancer too. I laid
my head on his chest as the song
started playing and I sang along
to Simmy ft Sino Solo_Ngihamba
Nawe
"Sidlalile umacashelana mina nawe
Angazi ukuthi uyangifaka noma
uyangikhipha kodwa mina
ngihamba nawe
Oh baningi bazamile ukuzibika
Kodwa mina ngiyala ngithi
No No
They're not men enough for me.
Oh asambe sondela, mina nawe
Sibe together, mmh
Mina ngihamba nawe"
He kept on squeezing my butt and
I'd laugh and remove his hand. He
doesn't even care that our
parents are here. Kwanele is just
being himself. He sang along
"Sisiza, sondela Ntombazane
ndiyakubiza.
Xawufuna ukuth thetha nam
sondela ndimamele
Xawufuna ukuba nam
ndzokwamkela ndilindile"
Me: Asambe sondela mina nawe
sibe together.
The others joined us on the dance
floor and we were all dancing just
having fun. We swapped partners
and I was now dancing with KJ
KJ: Congratulations my future
wife
Me: Thank you very much future
husband
I laughed at him and he told me
that he caught Sbahle looking at
him
Me: And when will you just man up
and take your wife back?
KJ: I will don't worry. I'm just
waiting for that idiot to waste
his money on wedding
preparations then I stop the
wedding. I want to have a grand
entrance, make it a bit dramatic
like she is
Me: Wow.
KJ: You're happy and that makes
me happy. I'm glad he finally
woke up and saw your worth, I
had no doubt in him. What you
guys share is special, never let
him go.
I nodded and danced with my
brother Jonah
Me: You're happy?
Jonah: She danced with me
Me: She did?
Jonah: Yes and I decided that I'll
let her be. I'm just going to let it
go and move on. There are many
girls in Malawi and this world.
Me: As long as you're happy.
Jonah: I'm glad to have you in my
life. Azibe was right, it feels so
good to have a sister. I love you
sis
Me: I love you too big brother.
The dancing continued and it was
fun
Zandy: The headache I have, you
should've told me to slow down on
those shots.
I laughed at her and thought
about last night, all you have to
know is that the party animal
and freak within me was fully
awake last night. I didn't even
think we'd make it in time for the
wedding. It was just a blast. But
hey, what happens in Vegas,
Stays in Vegas.
Don't worry, we had no strippers.
Okay let me rephrase, we didn't
have any male strippers.
Menzi: Okay, we may all sit down
for a while.
He was the MC, mind you, he
appointed himself. Apparently my
wedding planner wanted to hire a
celebrity MC but no, Menzi said he
will be one and he's doing a great
job at it. He should make it his
side job.
Menzi: I'm getting very good at
this public speaking thing, so it is
time for speeches and what
better way to start then the
groom's brother speaking first? I
was with Kwanele when the
clumsy dark beauty came into the
office looking for a job, her CV was
something hey, but she said she
could cook so my brother gave it a
try. And boy did she leave the
kitchen a hot mess. But when she
left my brother laughed and said
she was very interesting. It was
the way he smiled that made me
see that this girl, did leave some
sort of impression on my brother
and from there things took off
and they have the worlds
greatest love. I am happy for
you, and you owe me because I did
once tell you you'll be a Zondi bride
weNosipho and you laughed at me.
I wish you well and I know God
will bless you and you'll always be
together. Thank you, now I'd like
to call upon Ntombi to speak on
behalf of the friends.
Ntombi: My dearest cousin and
friend and your groom who is also
my friend. I have no words but to
thank you for the beautiful love
you guys have and for making
each other the best versions of
themselves. Nosipho was clumsy
spoilt and a mess before she met
you and look at her now, wonders
never end in this world. Nosipho,
thank you for loving Kwanele
unconditionally and Kwanele thank
you for loving her unconditionally.
You are both very amazing and I
wish you well. Be the best couple
and the best parents. Thank you.
Everyone on the list of speakers
spoke and they had very lovely
words of wisdom especially the
elders.
MaMzobe: I know my son is in
good hands, I've seen Nosipho
caring for him and holding his
hands even on his worst days.
When my son was going through
so much, all he kept on calling was
Nosipho's name, I ended up saying
she bewitched my son but little
did I know that these two need
each other beyond what we all
know. She held his hand and I
knew then even in death they
shall hold hands and be one. They
are what we always call
soulmates, they are living proof
that love knows no conditions, love
sees way more than intelligence
and love see beyond disabilities.
Love is love and they are a true
display of that. I thank you my
children.
Menzi: Thank you very much for
the wonderful and heartfelt
speeches. Wow we did things in
time hey. So it is 11am, just an
hour till breakfast is over so
everyone, the part which Kwenzo
and I have been looking forward
to has come. Everyone please help
yourselves to some wonderful
breakfast.
We had many serving stations, I
wanted to avoid people standing
in long lines just to have food. Only
about 8 people would stand in one
serving station.
Me: What do you want to eat
babe?
Kwanele: Fruit salad please
I nodded and our server went to
dish up for us.
Me: Thank you.
I thanked her and we started
eating
Kwanele: Did you enjoy your day?
Me: Yes I did my love, and you?
Kwanele: Yes and I'm glad you're
happy because that makes me
happy.
We ate and the dancing continued.
It was indeed a beautiful
moment
Menzi: I almost forgot a very
important part of the day!
Nosipho, come throw the bouquet.
Me: Oh yes!
I stood up and and all the single
ladies were standing behind me. I
threw the bouquet and turned
around. Thembelihle caught the
bouquet
Kamo: Hhayi no my baby isn't
ready for marriage
We all laughed at her and
Thembelihle ran away with the
bouquet. That was fun. Kwanele
took out the thigh band and he
threw it.
Hehe Jonah caught it and quickly
threw it at Kwenzo. We all
laughed at him and we went to
the dance floor. After two hours
the wedding ended and people
started leaving. We went to our
house and chilled for a while. We
were spending time with the kids
before we had to leave
Kwanele: Its time to love and
leave you my family. Paris is
calling our names
Me: It sure is.
MaMzobe: Have fun my babies,
the twins will be in good hands.
I held them and kissed them. A
week seems like forever. I will
miss them so much
Khetho: Don't cry now, it's just
for a week.
Me: I know but I'll miss them.
Mom: And they'll miss you too.
Now call the driver so you can go
Me: No I want to drive
Kwanele: Baby we spoke about
this
Me: But babe, I just want to
drive my car. Plus I've never
drove you in it.
Emihle: Let her be, it's her
wedding day.
Me: Thank you friend.
Kwanele: Okay, bye everyone.
We went outside and we held the
kids one more time
Kwanele: Daddy will always love
you
Me: And so will mommy.
Simi: You're speaking as if you're
leaving forever. Its just a week
now go before we all start crying
like Emihle is
Me: Why are you crying?
I hugged her and she giggled
Emihle: I'm just being emotional
that's it. Goodbye
Me: It's not for good. I'll be back
Emihle: Go now, they've prepared
a place for you. Paris is heaven
Me: Thank you
She held my hand squeezed it. And
she told me she loves me. I don't
know
Emihle: You will lay in his arms
forever
Me: After a nice hot love session
in Paris
She laughed at me. She was
acting really strange, I guess she
was just really emotional. We got
into the car and I drove off
Kwanele: You're ready?
Me: Yes I am. Paris here we come!
Kwanele: And we still have alot of
travelling to do. I love you
Nosipho, thank you for today.
Me: I love you too Nondaba.
Kwanele: Nosipho!!
Clash!!!!
(Glass breaking)
I closed my eyes and held his
hand. The car was rolling over and
over and over.
It was lights out.
I opened my eyes and my entire
body was hurting. I could hear
him groan in pain. My forehead
was bleeding, I couldn't breath.
Me: Kwanele
I don't think he heard that. I
tried stepping out of the car but
it was impossible. I moved over
to his side and he was laying
there. I held his hand
Kwanele: Buttercup, hold on. Help
is coming.
I started couching, I was
coughing blood.
Kwanele: If nothing saves us
from death, may love at least
save us from life. I'll die
peacefully knowing that my most
beautiful and loving wife was in
my arms. I love you and I'll love
you even in the after life.
He took a deep breath and that
was the last of it.
"Go now, they have prepared a
place for you. Paris is heaven."
"You will lay in his arms forever"
those were Emihle's last words.
They echoed in my head as I
closed my eyes and laid on his
chest holding his hands.
"In your arms I will lay forever."
I took one last deep breath.
Even in death they shall hold
hands and be one.
My name is Nosipho Zondi and this
is my story of how I Fell Inlove
With A Blind Man.
************THE END*************