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I met Amanda ten years ago, we became a team, and have 2 awesome boys...Lander, our
little Vet who is 9yrs old, and Zachary our 6yr old piano player.
Right after our 2nd boy was born something changed. Mandala died giving birth the
midwife told me, but she came back to life right away. I was ushered out of the room
because something terrible was going wrong with the delivery.
She survived, but who she was and her attitude had changed, she was turned against
me, mean sadistic sarcastic, and outright physical abuse, she backhanded me several
times, the first time in Springfield Oregon when I turned around in my office chair
as she screamed at me. I made a mistake bought the wrong food, not organic, and was
hit by her with her hand.

Over the years she has complained that I didn’t make enough money, and made me feel
like nothing I ever do or did was enough. Accused me of affairs, sniffing me as I
woud come in from shopping for groceries. She forced affection on her terms and her
violent demands for BDSM sex, she is into hitting for pleasure, and this make me
really feel abused every time, and I tell her so. That's not my gig, don't like it,
and told her many times I don't like this type of sexual activity, but she forced by
her violent threats of calling the police.

Her mood has become so unpredictable during these last 17months, I sit in the shop
packing orders for our online business. The boys come in say morning and hang out
till she wakes. Some days I'm happy, most are sad, and depressing for me as I sit and
wait for the next eruption. I'm scared to go into the living areas of the house
fearful of her getting angry.

This latest pressure on the boys and I was about their dirty room and the toys not
picked up and clothes put away. SHe popped, started yelling and screaming at me about
everything fom landscaping to my chickens not getting anymore food, she made me sell
them, threatened me into selling my hens.
It was so bad again she lashed out hit me with a 1x2 piece of wood trim on my left
inner thigh above the knee. Pics.

She says no one will believe me because I'm a man. I've tried only to be stopped by
her promises.

I cringe every day at every raised voice feeling like anything I'll said or do would
be attacked. From Jan 2017 to Oct 2017 she would scream from wake up to falling
asleep, her drinking was out of control, it still goes on, even with my assertiveness
training at Options counseling I was able to get her to settle down using techniques
I learned from Jon Santorinni my counceler.
I though things were getting better the first 6 months then she broke down and
started the abuse once again.

Christmas 2013 we were moving to a new location in nederland, co. I was repainting
and moving the furnature inside as fast as possible. Something happened, the boys
took her keys and hid them playing like little boys.
She went into her rage, and punched me, drew blood. I ran out into the dark into the
cold wet and snow of a mini blizzard. I took refuge at our store and slept over night
the went to the old apt and stayed there for another day not answering my phone. When
the storm was over I walked back to the house to be served dv paperwork. I messed up
called her cell, and said I love you, and was arrested for no contact.

Outcome on dv paperwork was probation with mandatory DV counceling in Arizona. Where

amanda used the paperwork to force me to travel back and forth between Colorado, and
Oregon for 3years against my will and in defiance of my parents forcing them to be
party to this event in my life.
She even forced them with threats of my arrest to let het stay in the garage
apartment 2 separate times on their property in Overgard AZ 1st time spring through
fall in the year 2013, and then the summer fall of 2014 between moves to our
purchased homes

SHe has contol of the finances, has removed my name and access from all accounts,
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changed all accounts I had access to, and the business passwords

I've been living in fear of my life for the last 17 months, I came bak in Oct 26th
2016 to our home up to Dec 24th when I got seriously sick, after catching the flu
from her and the boys. I was down and out not able to function, she turned on me,
because for our entire relationship I never was sick.

she physically, spiritually, and mentally abused me every way possible with the fear
she was going to hit me.
I wanted out then but she made threats, and I stayed. I need to make sure the boys
are safe.

She used that dv paperwork from Mar 2013-Oct 24th 2016 like a crowbar to leverage me
to be under her control for all that time she had me on paper, and she threatened me
with it every time she didn't get her way.

she cursed at how foolish she was for signing me off on the CO dv paperwork, she said
many times over and over she wished she still had it on me. yet she found another way
to control me making threats of going to the police unless I signed a piece of
notarized paperwork giving her total ustody of the boys under threat of losing them
forever and never seeing them again.

Always telling me I'm not good enough or smart enough to be their father, make
decisions or justtake them withme to the store and be alone with them. SHe makes me
feel guilty for being myself.

She had me travel illegally from CO to AZ, then between OR to AZ.

She lived illegally at Mom and Dad's in AZ while I was on that dv paperwork, you
always making threats of me going to jail and getting my parents in troube if I
didn't do as you said and let you stay there, but you finally moved across town here
in Heber just to be legal after I said that my probation officer may come to visit.
Then you forced me to come over and play house your way.

everything is on record how she forced me to live that way in fear of my life, and
any caged person will do what they are told after being beat enough times. I know
exactly what happened at Club Northwest, Lander and Zachary told me as soon as I got
back before you even did, and then I had to say something about it to you during one
of your outbursts on me, when I mentioned that you went ballistic.

Then her constant excuse of being drunk when you hit me. I am scared, and I want out,
she always say there is no way out of the relationship, it's just us and the kids,
it's how god ordained this life.

I do not believe this, she tells me I'm worthless without her, nothing without her
and the boys, she threatens me with intimidation or threats to keep my doing you
will. I honestly thought she would change like she said would happen now that I am in
counceling at Options, and going through it as she forced and demanded I do. I am
doing everything to not cause conflict and make her upset or angry because I am
scared of what she is going to do after the threats of suicide with the boys.

She is expert manipulator getting me to believe that the way I'me being treated by
here is my fault.

She has many times over to me, I'm a master psychologist, and can make people do
anything I want them to do without them knowing.

I am tired of the physical abuse and the verbal abuse on both myself and Lander and
Zachary are putting up with from her. I cower in fear, I have been temporarily
diagnosed with social anxiety, panic attacks, along with depression and ptsd due to
this, which my councelor says the boys and I will need years of help in counceling.
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She consistantly uses God, the police, and jail as a threat towards me and the boys
if we do not do what she asks of us.

Bossing, yelling, always having to have the upper hand, in complete control, you make
threats of me never seeing the boys, telling me if we get a divorce I'll never get
visitation or any type of custody. You threatened me withhell in the mail if I left
and went to Az.

this is not how I was raised or taught to act towards others by my parents.

She confined me to sleeping down in the shop. Locking me in the shop at night as a
dog in a kennel. Then there is the name calling, using the boys as you allies to get
info, Lander ouroldest told me up to the end what she asked them to do, he is scared
and told me he has to do what she says so Dada won't get hurt or in trouble by her.

She has isolated me, took all finances from me, refused to let me go out and meet
people. I complied, because I wanted things quiet calm and nice. It's ok for her to
take them places but not me, she makes me carry a permission slip around Grants Pass
to be with my boys in public.

I shouldn't have to defend myself like a caged dog who his beat into submission. I
gave up so, but she consistantly says she know best because she has a bacholers
degree in psychology, and that I am not smart enough to take care of the boys. Always
putting me down as a parents making me feel less than who I am.

I sat with her and calmly begged her to get help like I was with my counseling, and
she promised she would seek help, but then came back said no she does not need help,
and told me to leave or else she would do something to me so grievous that I would
never see the boys ever again ie... threat of suicide once again(being the grievous
threat repeated over and over), she crossed the line when she added the boys saying
she would take the truck shotgun and the boys, never return or be seen again.

She has made extreme dangerous statements several times that make me wonder and worry
if she will actually hurt them or create and cause serious harm unknowingly to both
Lander and Zachary.

Her mental/physical abuse towards me, the suicidal threats over the years, the severe
mood swings, and alcohol abuse have always been the main issues. She constantly
berates me using her degree in psychology. she places unrealistic expectations on me
and makes unrealistic demands.

She agreed to get help, then then violently refused by hitting me in the lip when I
asked her to try treatment and then she even insisted I had to go through treatment
saying it was my fault she hit me.

She has forced me to sign a agreement under threat of dv paperwork and threats of
suicide to give her custody of the boys.

I am very scared of Amanda's possible actions when she get in the rage, she has
threatened my life saying I could never see the boys ever again.

they are everything in my life and they are my life.

I care about for Lander and Zachary's safety. I need to protect them. Amanda needs
help.

I love those boys with all my Heart Mind, Body, and Soul.