AFFECTIONATE BREATHING
BY KRISTIN NEFF
Estimated, Unofficial Transcript:
“This meditation is called affectionate breathing and it should take about 20 minutes to
complete. So start out by finding a comfortable position. This could be in a chair, on a
meditation cushion, or you might even try lying on the floor in what's called the corpse pose in
yoga, with your limbs spread out slightly, feeling completely relaxed. But only choose this one if
you aren't too tired.
All right. So once you're in a comfortable position we're going to start.
All right. Start by getting in touch with your body in whatever position it's in right now. Notice
how your feet feel, your legs, your seat, your trunk, your shoulders, your head. Just get in touch
with your body right here, right now.
Notice any sensations you feel: tingling, throbbing, space. Whether those sensations are
pleasant or unpleasant or neutral, it's fine. Just get in touch with what you're feeling right now.
Now take three deep breaths to let out any tension from the day.
Let your breathing return to normal, and see if you can notice where you feel the breath most
strongly. It may be as it enters and exits your nostrils or perhaps as it enters and exits your
chest or as your abdomen rises and falls. No one spot is better than another. Just notice where
you feel your breath most strongly. Again not trying to control the breath, slow it down. Your
body knows how to breathe itself. Just try to relax, and let your breathing be natural.
So now adopt a little half smile, very, very tiny, just so the corners your mouth curl up just a little
bit. It shouldn't be strained or forced. Just let your mouth adopt a position of a little bit of a smile
with your mouth closed.
Notice how that makes you feel when your face adopts a position of contentment and peace,
happiness with the present moment.
Now as you breathe in and out, noticing how each in-breath feels, how each out-breath feels, try
to let your breath be infused with affection for yourself and others, with kindness for yourself and
others. Even if you don't really feel it, just set your intention for each breath, to breathe in
kindness and affection for yourself, and each out-breath to breathe out affection and kindness
for the world, for others in the world who are suffering just like you are.
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Your mind will naturally wander as it does this. It's very normal, very human. Don't judge
yourself for your mind wandering. Everyone does it. Just notice when your mind has wandered.
This is a moment of mindfulness. You're aware that your mind has wandered. And bring your
attention gently back to your breath, focusing on the feelings of affection and kindness that
you're intending with each in-breath and each out-breath. If it helps to get in touch with these
feelings, you might try putting your hand over your heart and feeling the warmth that's there.
Coming back to the breath if your mind has wandered, feeling some appreciation for your breath
itself. Without breath, we couldn't stay alive.
Noticing each breath as it enters and exits your body, holding affection for yourself and for
others, kindness for yourself and for others, remembering your little half smile.
If your mind has wandered, bringing it gently and tenderly back to the breath.
Letting your breath soothe and comfort your body, releasing any tension there, as you notice a
gentle flow of your breath, in and out.
If your mind has wandered, just bring your awareness back to your breath without judgment,
noticing the feelings of affection generated by your half smile. Or perhaps you have your hand
over your heart, getting in touch with the feelings of warmth there, and gently return to your
breath, kindness being breathed in and out.
Returning to the breath if your mind has wandered, focusing on your intention, of kindness for
self and others, of goodwill, of affection for all human beings, including ourselves.
And the meditation will end shortly, so take this last minute or two to really focus on your breath,
gently and kindly breathing in, breathing out, resting in the feelings of kindness you're
generating.”
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ABOUT KRISTIN NEFF
www.self-compassion.org
Kristin studied communications as an undergraduate at the
University of California at Los Angeles. She did her
graduate work at University of California at Berkeley,
studying moral development with Dr. Elliot Turiel. Her
dissertation research was conducted in Mysore, India,
where she examined children’s moral reasoning. She then
spent two years of post-doctoral study with Dr. Susan
Harter at Denver University, studying issues of authenticity
and self-concept development. She is currently an
Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin.
During Kristin’s last year of graduate school she became interested in Buddhism, and has been
practicing meditation in the Insight Meditation tradition ever since. While doing her post-doctoral
work she decided to conduct research on self-compassion – a central construct in Buddhist
psychology and one that had not yet been examined empirically.
In addition to her pioneering research into self-compassion, she has developed an 8-week
program to teach self-compassion skills. The program, co-created with her colleague Chris
Germer, affiliated with Harvard Medical School, is called Mindful Self-Compassion. Her book,
Self-Compassion, was published by William Morrow in April, 2011.
Visit our website to listen to and download this exercise.
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