GHALIB KE KHAT

Written & Directed by: Dr. M. Sayeed Alam

SCENE ONE
(Koi 1867-68 ka zamanah. Ghalib ki Haveli ke nichle hisseh ka
dalaan. Dalaan mein bichi ek chauki pe Ghalib ki Begum – UMRAO
– namaz padh rahi hain. Ek taraf se Ghalib ki purani mulazimah –
WAFADAAR (jo ki totli hai) – ek seni mein Ghalib ke din ka khana
liye hue aati hai. Rukti hai aur ‘khwan’ utha kar dekhti hai ki khane ki
sabhi cheezein rakh-khi gayeen hain ki nahin)
Wafadar : --- (Khane ka ek-ek bartan dekhte hue) Bakle ka
Qolma .... teen boti haddi wali, teen bina haddi wali, ek tukla
kaleji ka... gulda sabut (ek aur piyalah dekhti hai)... ismein qolme
ka salan, na patla, na mota.... phulke ke chilke do ... alley! Dawwa
Begum ne do chilke kyon diye? ... salkal to silf ek chilka hi
khavein, ande ki zaldi... namak aul kali milch samet, namak kam
milch ziyadah ..... pao bhal dahi ..... Allah! salkaal ki khulaak
kitni kam ho gayee hai .....pal tujhe kya wafadaal...tu Milza ko
khana de ke wapis aa, aul aul dosle kaamon mein lag ... chal
badh, salkaal bhooke baithe honge... khana na mile to pee ke pet
bhal levain:
(Wafadar jaati hai. Umrao ‘Salaam’ ki liye munh pherti hain aur
peshani pe haath rakh kar 12 baar ASTAGH-FIR-ULLAH padhti
hai. Astagh-fir-ullah padh lene ke baad dua ke liye haath uthati hain)

Umrao: – Ya Allah tera lakh lakh shukr... Ya Allah sabko

salaamat rakh... ya Allah sabko apne saaya-e aafiyat mein rakh...
ya Allah jo tere nek bande hain un pe inam-o-ikraam ki baarish
kar... ya Allah jo tere gunahgaar hain unhein apne etaab se
mahfooz rakh...... (siskiyan lene lagti hai) Ya Allah main apne liye
tujh se kuch nahin mangti, jo maangti hun Mirza ke liye mangti
hun .... ai mere Khuda inke gunahon ko muaaf farma, inki
kotahiyon ko darguzar farma, inki laghzishon ko nazar-andaaz
farma, inki kamzoriyon par pardah farma ...... Ai Allah jo saza
deni hai mujh ko de, jo sitam dhane hain mujh pe dha, jo zulm
karne hain mujh par kar, ki main kyon tere ek bande ko tere
bataye hue raaste pe na daal saki.... tu mujh par zindagi sakht
kar de, tu mujh par hyaat tang kar de, par inhein darazi-e-umr
de, inhein zindagi de, inhein sehat de, ai Khuda inhein kanon se
sunai nahin deta mujh se nahin saha jaata, inhein aankhon se
sujhai nahin deta, mujh se nahi dekha jaata, in se chala-phira
nahin jaata, mujh se nahin raha jaata, inke haath kanpte hain,
mera dil kanpta hai, Inko....
(Tabhi Wafadaar khana wapas le ke aati hai)
Umrao: – (Dua rok kar,) Arrey?? ... Us pal gayee aur is pal
wapas?
Wafadaar – Salkaal khane se mana kalte hain?
Umrao – Kya kahte hain?
Wafadaar –“Allah Miyan ne ziyadah tal kaam to bechaale ek
akale dahine haath ko de diye .... Ab khat likhun ki khana khaun”
Umrao – Arrey to ise wapas kyon le aayi, wahin rakh aati.. der
saver kha hi lete.
Wafadaar – Lo main to isliye le aayi ki khana wahan pala pala
salta lahta, oopal se daljanon makhkhiyan bhun-bhunati, do ek
qolme mein gil jaatin ... woh salkaal ki aankh bali bali to zalool
hain, pal dikhta to kam hi hai na ... to salkal jab khat likh chukte
to khane baithte, makhkhiyan bhi khaate, phil salkaal ko dast pe
dast lagte aul phil dast ke qisse sunaane das khat aul likhte ...aul
phil....
Umrao – Theek hai... theek hai ise (khane ko) bawarchi khane
mein rakh kar wapis aa, aur chilamchi mein garam pani ka
intezaam kar
Wafadaal – Wo hi kalun gi, wo hi (jaati hai). Lekin ek ghali baad
khana le kar phil jaungi tab tak salkaal khat likh chuke honge.....
pulaana tajulba hai ... Milza Taftah ka khat ek ghali mein likh
lete hain, Nawwab Alai ka khat kuch oopal ek ghali mein, Meel
Mehdi Majlooh kuch kam ek ghali (rukti hai).... waise ‘Bi-bi’ ek
baat poochun?
Umrao – Hun
Wafadaar -- Yeh Milza Taftah kya sachchi muchchi Musulmaan
nahin?
Umrao – Kitni baar batlaun ki Hindu hain?
Wafadaar – Na, jooth bolti ho?
Umrao – Diwani, ja-namaaz pe baithi hun, jhooth bolungi
Wafadaar – Pal naam to Musulmaan wala lakhte hain, “Milza
Taftah”
Umrao –Tumhare “sarkaar” unhein pyaar se “Mirza” Kahte
hain, “Tafta” unka Takhallus, aur naam “Har Gopal”
Wafadaar – Pal ji phil bhi na mane
Umrao – (thoda ghusse se) Offoh! kyon na mane?
Wafadaar -- Hindu to “kale” hovain
 SCENE TWO
(Stage pe surkh-o-safed MIRZA HAR GOPAL TAFTAH ki entry.
Taftah apne baagh mein chahal-qadmi kar rahe hain. Is dauran woh
ghalib ka khat bhi padhte jaate hain. Taftah ki umr 60 saal)
Taftah - “Kyon Sahib!
Roothe hi raho ge ya kabhi mano ge bhi? Aur agar kisi tarah
nahin mante to roothne ki wajah to likho (Taftah hanste hain) ...
main is tanhai mein sirf khaton ke bharose jeeta hun, yaani jis ka
khat aaya main ne jaana ki woh shakhsh tashreef laya. Khuda ka
ehsaan hai ki koi din aisa nahin hota, jo atraaf-o-jwaanib se do
chaar khat nahin aa rahte hon. Balki aisa bhi din hota hai ki do
do baar dak ka harkaara khat laata hai... ek do subah ko, ek do
sham ko. Meri dil-lagi ho jaati hai. Din unko padhne aur jawaab
likhne mein guzar jaata hai.
Yeh kya sabab das-das barah-barah din se tumhara khat nahin
aaya, yaani tum nahin aaye.
Khat likho Sahib. Na likhne ki wajah likho. Aadh aane mein
bukhl na karo, aisa hi hai to bairang behjo (Taftah phir hanste
hain:
Somvar, 27 December, 1857
GHALIB

Taftah - (az khud) – Main Mirza Ghalib se roothun to Khuda

Mirza Taftah se roothe.

(Taftah wahin ek Munshi Mez pe baith jaate hain aur khat likhna
shuru karte hain. Taftah pe halki light pad rahi hai.)

SCENE THREE
 (Umrao aur Wafadaar jahan pahle baithe thae wahin baithe hain.
Wafaddar garam pani ki patti se Umrao ki baanh ki sikai kar rahi
hai)
Wafadaar – Allah qasam kitne gole hain yeh Milza Taftah, Hindu
ko do phansi aul Musulmaan ko udao top se, Inglez tak inke
saamne mat hain.... Bibi sach bataana yeh apne baap ki jaaez
aulaad hain.... ya kisi “inglez” ki aula....
Umrao – (baat kat te hue) chup ja... be ja bohtan lagati hai.... sikai
kar..asli kayasth hain... bap ka naam Moti Lal, khoob bachche
paida kiye, khoob jai-daad banai .... (Thoda dukhi ho kar) oopar
wala jisko chahe nawaaz de, jisko chahe mahroom rakh-khe
Wafadar – Lo ‘Bibi’ tum to ‘dukhi’ ho gayee --- Nawaze to
tumhein bhi oopal wale ne saat-saat bachche, koi zinda na laha,
yeh bhi oopal wale ki malzi .... tum hi to kahti ho ....
Umrao – Sahi kahti hai; uske faisle niraale hain.. hum se humaari
jawaani mein bachche cheene, aur Mirza Taftah se bachche
Jawaan cheene ... Manjhla beta 30 baras ki umr mein Bhagwan
ko pyaara hua aur choti ladki 19 baras ki umr mein, sab se bada
zinda hai par hai bada hi nikamma... aisa shakhsh tanha na rah
jaaye to aur kya kare

SCENE FOUR
(Stage pe MIRZA HAR GOPAL TAFTAH Tezi se khat likh rahe hain.
Taftah khat likhne ke baad. Taftah ki umr 60 saal)
Taftah - Ustaad-e- Mohtarim
Main duniya jahaan se roothun, Asadullah Khan se na
roothun...apne Bhagwan se roothun, Ghalib-e meherbaan se na
roothun, kufr-o-imaan se roothun, ustaad-e zeshaan se na
roothun.....
jab se dono jawaan bachche meri duniya se gaye hain, main hun,
mera qalam hai aur aapka tasavvur .... aap “khat” ke bharose
jeete hain, main sirf “aap ke khat” ke bharose jeeta hun....

SCENE FIVE
(Umrao akeli baithi hain)
Umrao –Chilamchi phenk di
Wafadaar – Na.. paani phenk diya
Umrao – Mera wahi matlab tha, totli ki bachchi... meri zabaan
pakadti hai ...... yehaan aa
Wafadar – (andar aati hai) pahle Milza ko khana de aaun, ek
“ghali” ho gayee .... gole Hal Gopal Taftah ko khat likh liya
hoga...
Umrao – Khak khayenge ... “Gore” Har Gopal ko khat likh liya
hoga to ab “Kale” Hira Singh ko likh rahen honge

SCENE SIX
(Munshi Hira Singh, umr 35 saal, stage pe aate hain.. ek lifafah
pharte hain aur usmein se khat nikalte hain khat padhna shuru karte
hain)
”Farzand-e dil band, Saadat mand Munshi Hira Singh ke haq
mein meri duaen qubool hon ....
“Lab-e baam”, “Lab-e farsh”, “Lab-e gaur”, “Lab-e
chah”,“Lab-e darya”, “Lab-e sahil” ke maani “kinaare” ke
hain”..... “labe-e baam” us muqaam ko kahte hain jahaan se ek
qadam aage baddhaiye to dham se aangan mein aaiye ....... “Lab-e
darya” use samajhiye, jahan se qadam badhaiye to pani mein
jaaiye..... “Lab-e sahil” woh hua jahan se aage badhiye to darya
mein girye ... ...”lab-e darya” se paon paani par rakh-kha jaata
hai ..... aur “lab-e sahil” se darya mein koodte hain, jis tarah
sultaan ji ki baoli mein tairak koodte hain
Hira Singh – Wah.... Ustaad-e aali martabat ne bhi khoob
samajhaaya .... sarasar ghalat hain woh log jo kahte hain ki “lab-e
sahil” ghalat lafz hai; “lab” mane bhi “kinaara” aur “sahil” mane
bhi “kinaara”. Lekin Mirza Sahib theek hi to kahte hain, kinaare
ka bhi to ek kinaara hota hai.
(dobaarah khat padhne lagte hain)
“Is lafz par etraaz karne ka sabab yeh hai ki in becharon ne sewai
“Gulistan, Bostan” ke koi Farsi kitaab nahin dekhi”.
Faqat
Najaat ka talib
Ghalib
SCENE SEVEN
(Umrao akeli baithi badbada rahi hain)
Umrao - Ab yeh Munshi Hira Singh na jaane kahan se inki jaan
ko paida ho gaya hai.. .. koi harf samajh main na aaye to khat, koi
lafz smajh mein na aaye to khat, koi jumla samajh mein na aaye
to khat ..... aur aisi koi majburi nahin ki “Kalkatte” ya “Bumbay”
mein baithe hon ki bina khat likhe charah na ho, yahin do furlang
door Fateh Puri masjid ke pichvade ‘Gandi Gali’ mein rahte hain
Janab, wahan se dhela phenko to mere sar lage.. par nahin khat
likhen ge aur roz roz likhenge... saara hal zahir hai ki ustaad ka
sunna dekhna, chalna phirna, uthna baithana, peshaab paikhana
sab band ho rakh-kha hai.... lekin yeh jawan mustande “Munshi
Hira Singh ‘Dard’ Dehlevi” baaz na aavenge .. yeh nahin hota
koi aur ustaad kar lein,.... bade aaye Munshi Hira Singh ‘Dard’
Dehlvi.. yeh “dard” nahin, “sar dard” hain ... Dard Dehelvi....
main bhi bhala kis ka naam leti hun, apne Khuda ka naam lun,
apne Rasool ka naam lun to kuch ajr bhi paun .... Allah Tauba...
Allah tauba ... Namaaz ke baad Quran shareef tak nahin khola
( Saamne rakhkha Quran Shreef kholti hain tabhi wahan Wafadaar
khali haath aati hai)
Umrao – Kya hua?
Wafadaar – Salkaal khana khaate hain
Umrao – kyon, khat nahin likhte?
Wafadaar – Likh to lahe thae, wahi apne Munshi Hila Singh ko ...
hun!!.... naam se “hila” , shakal se “koyla”
Umrao – Allah Mian ki banai shakl-surat ki khilli nahin udaate ..
Wafaddar – Lo kaan pakde.. nahin udaati khilli .... Allah Mian
Maafi.... lekin “Bibi” yeh Munshi Hila Singh ki amman ke ankh
nahin thi ki aqal, jo inka naam “Heela” Lakh diya
Umrao – Phir mazaaq
Wafadaar -- Achcha yeh bhi mazaaq hai? Main to sachchi kah
lahi thi ... Allah Mian phil Muaafi .. haan to main ne Milza se
kaha ki “Huzool khana”, Milza bole, “dekhti nahin! khat likhta
hun”. To main ne kaha “Huzool thanda ho jaave ga” to Milza ne
kaha, “ khat bhi to baasi ho jaave ga”: To main ne phil palat ke
waal kiya ki “Huzool....
Umrao (baat kat-te hue) – Allah ki bandi sirf yeh bata Mirza
khana khate hain ki nahin, haan ya na
Wafadaal (Naraazgi se) – Haan (wahan se naraaz ho kar chali
jhaati hai)
Umrao – Achcha achcha ... thaher, poora qissa bata, naraaz na ho
( Wafadaar fauran hi man jaati hai )
Wafaddar – To jab Milza ne kaha ki khat baasi ho jave ga to main
ne bhi kaha “theek hai, khana waapis liye jaati hun.. aaj se main
bhi aapki wafadaal nahi , wafadaali to dono talaf se nibhai jaati
hai”: .... Bole “luk, teli dal loti se bhala mujhe kab inkaal hai .....
la de” . Main ne kaha “ milza dal-loti kahan .... gosht-loti hai
gosht-loti... jis cheez mein “sheen” na aave, wo aap ko pasand
kahan” ..... khub zol se hansne lage.. itna hanse.. itna hanse ki
khansi aa gayee
Umrao - (pareshaan aur khadi ho jaati hai) Phir se khansi aa
gayee ... saath mein khoon to nahin aayaa... dekh unke saath
mazaaq vazaaq bilkul na kiya kar... jaldi se Hakeem Mahmood
wali dawa la, main ooper jaati hun....
Wafadaar – Lukiye to sahi .. aap to aise ghablaati ho jaise Milza
ko khansi na phansi hui ho .... khansi to faulan theek ho gayee thi
.... hanste hue kahne lage.... “Wafadaal begum sham ke khane
mein do “sheen” aur chahiye”: Main ne kaha, “salkaal main bhi
samajh gayee “Shalab aul Shami kabaab”
Umrao – Phir us haraam shai ka naam liya.....toot gaya na mera
wazoo.... ab phir se wazoo karo ..... nalayeq kahin ki ( whan se
jaati hain)
Wafaddar - (Umrao ko door jaate hue dekhti hai) - Ajab maajla
hai.... ek ka shalaab ka naam lene se wuzoo toot jaata hai, aul ek
shalaab mein wuzoo kalta hai .... phil bhi saath balas se saath
saath lah lahe dono
 SCENE EIGHT
(zor ki hansi ki awaaz. Awaaaz ke saath saath MUNSHI SHIV
NARAIN ARAAM, umr 35 saal, stage pe aate hain)
Shiv Narain -- Haqeer Sahib ... Main ne kaha Haqeer Sahib
Munshi Nabi Bakhsh Haqeer (sirf awaaz) – “Haqeer” bhi aur
“Sahib” bhi
Shiv Narain -- Ab aap ne Takhallus hi aisa rakhkha hai
“Haqeer”
Munshi Nabi Baksh (Stage pea aate hain)– Main aapko ‘Munshi
Shiv Narain’ kahta hun, aap mujhe ‘Munshi Nabi Baksh’ kahiye.
Munshi Shiv Narain - Na main aapko Munshi Nabi Bakhsh
‘Haqeer’ kahun, aap mujhe Munshi Shiv Narain ‘ Faqeer ‘
kahiye
Munshi Nabi Bakhsh – Woh to theek hai ... par yeh kya liye
ghumte hain
Munshi Shiv Narain -- Yeh dekhiye -- (ek khat dikhaate hue)
Mirza Ghalib apni ahliya ke bare mein kya farmaate hain
Munshi Nabi Baksh – Yeh munaasib nahin Sahib... Mirza Ghalib
ne aapko apne khutoot jama karne ki ijaazat di hai, na ki unhein
ja baja sunaane ki
Munshi Shiv Narain – Main apne dada ka khat apni dadi ke baare
mein kale chor ko sunaon, ap ka kya jaata hai
Munshi Nabi Baksh – Kala Chor zara gora hai, magar haazir hai
Shiv Narain – Suniye sahib!
(Stage pe baithe Taftah khat padhne lagte hain)
Taftah -- “Sahib! tumhara khat aaya. Main ne apne sab matalib
ka jawaab paaya
Umrao singh ke haal par uske waste mujh ko raham, aur apne
wate rashk aata hai. Allah Allah. Ek wo hain ki do baar unki
“bediyan” kat chuki hain, aur ek hum hain ki ek oopar 50 baras
se jo phansi ka phanda gale mein pada hai, to na phanda hi toot-
ta hai, na dam nikalta hai. Usko samjhao ki tere bachchon ko
main paal lun ga. Tu kyon bala mein phansta hai”.
Munshi Nabi Baksh -- Shiv Narain Sahib! Bhala ho Mirza
Ghalib ka, Biwi ko “bedi” smajhte hain, doosre to biwi ko “Bidi”
samajhte hain... phoonk daalte hain
Shiv Narain – Par Sahib khat bartaraf, aankhon dekhi bataata
hun... Begum ke saamne munh bhi nahin kholte ....
Munshi Nabi Baksh – Hum ne to yehaan tak suna hai ki Umrao
Begum ne ghar ke har us hisseh mein Mirza ka aana-jaana band
kar rakhkha hai, jaahan namaaz padhi jaati hai
Shiv Narain -- Aur Mirza ke “palang” ko chor kar unke ghar ke
har hisseh mein namaaz padhi jati hai
(Donon sahebaan zor se hanste hain)
Munshi Nabi Baksh --– Yeh bhi choriye sahib .. Mirza ke bartan
bhi alag kar diye hain
Shiv Narain -- Par Mirza ko alag nahin kartein ... baharhal
saara qissa yeh tha ki bhai Umrao Singh ki doosri biwi bhi chal
basin
Munshi Nabi Baksh – Yeh bhi dekhiye, jis bechaare ke bare mein
khat lkiha uska naam bhi “Umrao” aur jis bechaari ki khat mein
mitti paleed ki uska naam bhi “Umrao”
Shiv Narain -- Luqma na dijiye – suniye to.... Munshi Taftah
Mirza Ghalib ko iski ittela di,
(Taftah ek khat likhte hain hain)
Taftah : “Umrao Singh ki Doosri biwi bhi jaan se jaati rahi... ek
taraf marhooma ka be-panaah gham, doosri taraf chaar chote
chote bachchon ka palan poshan, teesri taraf bachchon ke liye ek
aur “maan” ki talaash”
Shiv Narain: Aur aap kya likhte hain, “Usko samjhao...kyon bala
mein phansta hai”
Munshi Nabi Baksh -- Yeh kya qissah hua sahib --- Haatim Ali
Mehr Sahib ... aap to jaante hi hain
Shiv Narain - Ji haan! Jis tawaef pe bhi marte hain, woh mar
jaati hai
Nabi Baksh – Haan Sahib .... yahi sabab hai ki shaher ki har
tawaef unse pardah kart hai .. haan to sahib Mehr sahib ki pyaari
“Chunna jaan”, Allah Mian ko pyaari huen
Shiv Narain -- Chunna Jaan, kya khoob raqs karti thi, woh bhi
sheeshe ke tukdon par...au majaal hai ki koi tukda bhi paon mein
chubh jaaye
Nabi Baksh – Ab aap kyon luqma dete hain ... chup maar ke
suniye ... to Mehr bade gham zadah... Unhone Mirza ko ittela di....
Mirza jawaab mein kya farmaate hain ki ek gayee, yaani doosri
se dil lagane ka mauqa haath aaya .... Allah Muaaf kare, yehan
tak likh gaye ki Jannat to mujhe sirf isliye manzoor nahin ki
wahan sirf “aik” hoor mile gi aur woh bhi laakhon baras ki aur
lakhon baras ke liye
Shiv Narain aur Nabi Bakhsh –
Jis mein lakhon baras ki hoorein hon
aisi jannat ka kya kare koi
(Donon yeh kahte hue wahan se chale jaate hain)
(Is dauran Mirza Hatim Ali Beg Mehr, bahut roni soorat banaye hue
stage pe a chuke hain. Unke haath mein do do khat. Ek gao takiye ka
sahaara le kar baith jaate hain)
Mehr – Taaziyat ke do do khat .. ... ise kahte hain dost, mushfiq ..
, habeeb, nadeem
(is dauran khat khol lete hain.. aur pahle khat padhna shuru karte
hain)
“Gham na khao ........ Chunna Jaan na sahi, Munna Jaan sahi ...
main jab ‘Bahisht’ ka tasav-vur karta hun aur sonchta hun ki
agar maghfirat ho gayee aur ek qasr mila aur ek hoor mili.
Aqaamat ja vidaani hai, aur usi nek bakht ke saath zindegaani
hai, is tasav-vur se ji ghabrata hai aur kaleja munh ko aata hai ...
Hai Hai!! woh Hoor ajeeran ho jaave gi ..tabiyat kyon na
ghabraave gi ...... bhai hosh mein aao, kahin aur di lagao”
Mehr – Ghalib Sahib, aap mazaq se baaz na aayenge..., (doosra
khat kholte hain) ismein bhi yahi sab likha hoga..
“Janab Mirza Sahib! “Aap ka gham afzah namah pahuncha.
Main ne padha. Yusuf Ali Khan Azeez ko padhva diya. Unhon ne
jo mere saamne us marhuma aur tera muaamla byaan kiya, yaani
uski itaaat aur tumhari us se mohabbat, sakht malal hua aur
ranj-e kamal hua. Suno Sahib! Sho’ra mein Firdausi, Fuqra mein
Hasan Basri, aur ush-shaq main Majnun. Yeh teen aadmi teen
fan mein peshwa hain. Shaayer ka kamal yeh hai ki Firdausi ho
jaave. Faqeer ki intehaa yeh hai ki Hasan Basra se takkar
khhaaye. Aashiq ki numood yeh hai ki Majnuun ki ham-tarahi
naseeb ho. Laila us ke saamne mari thi, tumhari mahbooba
tumhare saamne mari.
Balki tum us se badh kar hue ki Laila apne ghar mein aur
tumhari mashooqa tumhare ghar mein mari.
Bhai Mughalche bhi ajeeb hote hain, jis par marte hain us ko
maar rakhte hain. Main bhi mughalcha hun. Umr bhar mein ek
badi sitam pesha domni ko main ne bhi maar rakh-kha hai.
Khuda un donon ko bakhshe aur hum tum donon ko bhi, ki
zakhm-e marg-e dost khaaye hue hain........chalees biyalees baras
ka yeh waqea hai....... lekin ab bhi kabhu kabhu woh adaayen
yaad aati hain, uska marna zindagi bhar na bhoolunga........
jaanta hun tumhare dil par kya guzarti hogi, sabr karo.
(Mehr rone lagte hain)
SCENE NINE
(Munshi Har Gopal Taftah Munshi Shiv Narain ko khat likh rahe
hain)
Mian Sahib Zadeh, Munshi Shiv Narain Araam –
Lo, duaen lo : Khush raho, jug jug jiyo, chiranjeevi ho. Mujhe
fakhr hai ki ke Urdu, Farsi Hindi aur Angrezi ke Iskaalar
(scholar ), aur is se bhi badh kar Ghalib ke qadardaan, Munshi
Shiv Narain Araam, se mujhe Pranaam-o-pyaam hai:
Tumhare aur tumhare khandaan ke Mirza Ghalib par bahut
ehsanaat hain. Jaise do saheliyan apas mein gudiya badalti hain,
Tumhaare dada, Munshi Bansi Dhar, aur Mirza Ghalib ne
langotiyan badli theen... Tum ne apne chaape khane se Mirza ki
“Diary” “Dastanbu” chaap kar unki izzat aur aabroo bachai hai.
Angrez sirkaar ki nazaron mein unki begunaahi saabit ki hai.
Tum ne Mirza ka Urdu Diwan chaap kar, unhein hazaaron saal
ke liye zindah kar diya hai.
Ab ek nek kaam aur karo. Mirza ke khutoot bhi chaap do. Tum
ne mujhe bataaya tha ki Angrezi Sahitya mein unke Lekhakon
aur Kavion ke chiththi-patron ki badi ahmiyat hai, angerz unhein
‘National Treasure’ kahte hain. To phir intezaar kaahe ka. Urdu
mein Ustaad se bada kavi kaun, ustaad se bada lekhak kaun?
Unki chithtiyaan bhi “qaroon ke khazane” se kam nahin.. Main
nahin, tum unhein raazi karo. Dost ke pote ho na, “na”, na kah
saken ge. Sunte hain ki tum Devnagiri lipi mein ek ‘Risaalah’
“Swarup Karak” bhi chaapte ho. Kya hi achcha ho Mirza Ghalib
ka kalaam Devnaagri mein bhi chape. Mirza qubool nahin karte.
Apne Farsi kalaam pe fakhr karte hain.... Lekin, Farsi ke chal
chalav ka waqt hai... Farsi shayeri mirza ki mashooqa hai aur
Urdu-Hindi shayeri unki kaneez....gaanth baandh lo! Mirza ki
shohrat unki kaneez ke badaulat hogi.
SCENE TEN
(Shiv Narain Araam aur Munshi Nabi Bakhsh Haqeer jis raaste se
gaye usi raaste se wapas aate hain)
Munshi Shiv Narain – Shatranj, Shayeri, Patang, aur machiya
tawaef, ye hueen chaar cheezen aur in charon .....
Nabi Bakhsh – Cheez to in mein se sirk ek hi hai
Shiv Narain – Kaha na luqma na dijiye .. To sahib Shatranj,
Shayeri, patang aur Machiya Tawaef, ye huen chaar cheezen aur
in chaar se do logon ko ishq – Mirza Asadullah Khan, aur Munshi
Bansi Dhar
Nabi Bakhsh – Shatranj aur Shayeri Mirza ke hisse mein aaye,
aur patang aur machiya tawaef aap ke dada ke
Munshi Shiv Narain – jo bhi sujhe gi buri sujhe gi... dekhiye main
ne kya nadir cheez nikaali hai...suniye
“Barkhurdaar, noor-e chashm Munshi Shiv Narain ko maloom
ho ki main kya jaanta tha ki tum kaun ho. Jab yeh jaana ki tum
Naazir Bansi dhar ke pote ho to maloom hua ki mere farzand-e
dilband ho. Ab tumko mushfiq-o-mukar-ram likhun to
gunehgaar ..... .....
Main aur woh hum umr thae..shaayed Munshi Bansi Dhar mujh
se ek do baras bade hon ya chote hon. Unnees baras ki meri umr
aur aisi hi umr unki. Baham shatranj aur akhtelaat aur
mohabbat. Aadhi aadhi raat guzar jati thi. Chun ki ghar unka
bahut door na tha, is waste jab chhate thae chale jaate thae. Bas
humaare aur unke makaan mein Machiya randi ka ghar aur do
kade darmyaan thae...............
Nabi Bakhsh – Machiya randi ka ghar aapke dada ke ghar se
pahle padta tha
Shiv Narain – Haan! Yahi likha hai
Nabi Bakhsh – Phir aapke dada ghar nahin pahunch paate honge
Shiv Narain -- (Naraaz ho jaate hain) Theek hai nahin sunaata ...
aap batt baat mein luqma dete hain
Nabi Bakhsh – Muaafi sarkaar Muaafi .. Sunaaiye
(Munshi Shiv Narain dobaarah khat sunaana shuru karte hain)
Aik katrah ki woh Kashmeeran wala kahlata tha us katre ke ek
kothe par main patang udaata tha aur Raja Balwan Singh se
patang lada karte thae.
Roz-e sah shambah, 19 october 1858,
Asad ullah
Munshi Nabi Bakhsh --
Wafadari ba sharte ustawari asle imaan hai
Mare but khane / kashi mein to kabe mein garo barahman ko
Wah! Shiv Narayan sahib Wah! Yeh “khat” nahin hai,
“khushboo” hai.... dosti, ravadaari, mohabbat, mel-milap ki
khushboo
Shiv Narayan —(kuch sochte hain) khoob kahte hain ...
“khushboo” yaani ood ... agar main in khutoot ko chaap saka to
uska naam “Ud-e Hindi” rakhun ga – “Hindustan ki khushbu”
(Donon jaate hain)
SCENE ELEVEN
(Wafadaar khali bartan liye wapis aati hai, Uske haath mein ek
kitaab)
Wafadaar – “Bi-bi” Kahan hon (Umrao andar aati hai)... yeh lo
khali baltan ... Salkaal ne khana nosh falma liya ... silf haddi
haddi choli hai... saamne ke donon daant to hain hi nahin, haddi
kya chabaate
Umrao (Baat kat-ti hai aur kitaab ki taraf ishaara karti hai) Yeh
kyon utha laayi
Wafadaar -- Milza jhapki le lahe thae, uhnke khat ki kitaab utha
laayi ....
Umrao – Ulte pair ja... aur wapis rakh...
Wafadaar -- Lakh dun gi ... zala is mein se do chaal khat haemin
bhi palh kal suna do .... dekhun kabhi hamaale bale mein bhi kisi
ko kuch likhte hain ki nahin
Umrao – Haan Haan likhte hain.... kyon nahin likhte .... (Umrao
kitaab ke panne palt-ti hai) .... likhte hain ki “Bi wafadaar bahut
hi nek hain”
Wafadaar – Sahi hai
Umrao – Apne kaam se kaam rakhti hain
Wafadaar – Sahi hai
Umrao -- na kisi se ziyadah bolna, na ziyadah hansna
Wafadaar – sahi hai
Umrao – Agar sauda sulf lene bazaar gayeen hon to kya majaal
kahin aur chali jaayen
Wafadaar – sahi hai
Umrao – Sharmeeli itini ki chalti hain to nigaah zameen se uthti
hi nahin
Wafadaar – sahi hai
Umrao – Ghar ka har kaam itni khush-asloobi
Wafadaar – Ai bibi tum to tuklon mein khat suna lahi ho ... ek
baali mein sunao na
Umrao – tu “sahi hai” kahna band kare tab na
Wafaddar – Lo chup --- ek chup , hazaal chup
Umrao – to phir Sun
(umrao ek khat padhti hain)
“ Bi wafadaar, jin ko tum kuch, aur bhai khub jaante hain ....
Wafadaar – sahi hai .... (zabaan daant mein daba leti hai aur aage
na bolne ka ishaara karti hai)
Umrao: (baqi khat padhte hue) “ Bahar nikalti hain. Sauda to kya
laayen gi,... rasta chalton se baatein karti phirti hain. Jab woh
mahal se niklen gi, mumkin nahin ki atraaf-e nahar ki sair na
kareein gi. Mumkin nahin ki darwaze ke sipahiyon se baatein na
karengi. Mumkin nahin ki phool na toorein aur bibi ko le jaa kar
na dikhayein aur na kahein ki : “yeh phool tumhale chacha ke
bête ki kyaali ke hain”
Wafadaar – (Ruhaansi ho jaati hai) – wah salkaal wah , wafadali
ka kya inaam diya hai
Umrao – Tu to roti hai .... tu hi to kahti thi dekhein....
Wafadaal – Milansaal hona kya buli baat hai ... Allah Lasool, Isa,
Musa sab hi to kahte hain milnasaal bano .... nahal ki sail na
kalun to kya nalak ki sail kalun, ... aate jaate log salaam kalein
yeh kahun “bandal ke bachche dekhta nahin main ne munh see
lakhkha hai. Phool na tolun to kay kisi ka sal tolun..... sahi hai ...
sahi hai
Umrao – Arrey kahan kisi Ghair ko likha, apne Nawwab Alai ko
hi likhkha.
Wafadaar -- wohi to afsoos hai, Nawwab tumhaale bhateeje hain
... balabal yehaan aate jaate hain...... na jaane mele bale mein
man hi man kya sochte honge
Umrao – Han “Alai” hi rah gaye hain tere bare mein man hi man
sochne ko ... Shahzadi hai na
Wafadaar – Sahazadi na sahi, shaleef zadi to hun
(wafadaar bartan le ke wahan se jaati hai)
Umrao -- kahan jaati hai?
Wafadaar – Baltan lakhne
Umrao – dekh, dhyaan se ... teri khair nahin agar mirza ke
bartan ghar ke aur bartanon se chue... ek sharab naush ke chalte
be-wajah sabki aaqebat kharaab hogi
Wafadaar – Allah Mian Milza ko silf shalaab peene hi ki nahin,
peeth peeche bulaai kalne ki bhi saza den ge .. haan dekh lena
Umrao – (Naraaz ho kar) .... Khabardaar jo Mirza ke liye bad
dua nikali
Wafadaal -- (apne aap se) khud to Milza pe taane pe taane malein,
pal doosla koi unhein phool chali se bhi na chue
Umrao – sab sunti hun ... bad zabaan .... ab idhar ka rukh na
kriyo .. mujhe chain se Quraan Majeed padhne de
(Be khyaali mein Quran Majeed ki jagah Ghalib ke khat ki kitaab –
“Ud-e Hindi” -- khol leti hain)
Umrao – Yeh kya ‘wahiyat’ shai haath aa gayee
(Kitab rakh deti hain, Quran Shareef kholne ko hoti hain ki nazar phir
kitaab pe parti hai ... kuch der sochti hain... phir kitaab khol leti hain.
Umrao ek khat kholti hain, use man hi man padhti hai.... phir hansne
lagti hain)
Umrao (hanste hue) - Achcha kiya jo Mian Alai ko daant pilai.....
koi apne sagon se bhi unka pata puchta hai?
SCENE TWELVE
(Stage pe Nawwab Alai, umr 3, saal, apne ek mulaazim ke saath aate
hain. Mulaazim ke haath mein khaton ka ek pulandah.Nawwab Alai
khat padhte hue andar aate hain).
Alai - “Pachchas baras se Dilli mein rahta hun. Hazaraha khat
atraaf-o-jawaanib se aate hain.... bahut log aise hain ki mahallah
nahin likhte.......sirf shaher ka naam aur mera naam. Yeh sab
maraatib tum jaante ho, aur un khutoot ko tum dekh chuke ho,
aur phir mujh se puchte ho ki apna maskan bata.
Agar main tumhare nazdeek ameer nahin, na sahi, ahl-e harfah
mein se bhi nahin hun, ki jab tak mahallah aur thana na likha
jaaye harkaarah mera pata na bataye. Aap sirf “Dehli” likh kar
mera naam likh diya kijiye. Khat pahunchne ka main zaamin”
(Khat padhna chor dete hain)
Aali – (Apne Mulaazim se) Mian Mushki
Mushki – Raees-e Aali
Alai – Meri shaamat aayi thi jo main ne Mirza Ghalib ka pata
pooch liya
Mushki – Shayeron aur tawaefon ka pata nahin poochte
Alai – Lekin agar koi apna ghar badal le to?
Mushki – To bhi shayeron aur tawaefon se pata nahain
poochte, unke chahne walon se poochte hain
Alai – Khoob kaha!
Mushki – Sarkaar aaj puraane dhuraane khat le kar baith
gaye.....
Alai – Mirza Sahib apne khutoot wapis mangvate hain ... ...
Mushki – Kyon?
Alai -- Kahte hain yeh chapen ge .... ho sake to asl bhejo, warnah
unki “kopy” (copy) bhejo
Mushki – Apne khat to sirf zanaaniyan wapas mangain? ...... bhej
dijiye .. aap kaun sa badnaam hon ge
Alai – Kaise bhejun .... Mirza yeh nahin sochte ki khat chapne se
sirf unki hi jag-hansaai nahin hogi, Riyaasat-e Loharu ke damaad
ki bhi jag hansai hogi .... Riyaasat-e Loharu ki Jag hansai hogi
SCENE THIRTEEN
(Umrao aur Wafadar baithe hain)
Umrao – To Nawwab Ilahi Baksh mere walid. Nawwab Ahmad
Baksh unke bhai... yehaan tak samajh gayee?
Wafadar – Hun
Umrao – Hun nahin haan
Wafadar – Hun nahin haan
Umrao – Sirf haan
Wafadar – haan
Umrao – Nawwab ilahi Baksh ki do betiyan: Ek main, doosri
Baqar ki dadi ... beta ek bhi nahin. Nawwab Ahmad baksh ki
teen auladein.. manjhli aulaad Nawwab Ameenuddin aur
Nawwab Ameenuddin ki manjhli aulaad Nawwab Alai
Wafadar -- Wafadaal! Jadaad ghalat bat gayee”!,
Umrao – Kya bakti hai
Wafaddal – Tum hui Nawwab Ilahi Bakhsh ki lalki, lalka hoti to
tum bhi hoti Nawwab Alai ki talah “Nawwab Umlao uddin -
Khan Bahadul, Wali-e Lohalu vohalu, Filozpur jhilka vilkah,
Alwal walwal
Umrao -- Zabaan ko lagaam de... hazaron saal purane rivajon ki
tujhe kya khabar?
Wafadaal – Pal Islam to betiyon ko bhi hissah deta hai .... Main to
kahti hun “Jigla” hai to do jadaad beti ko bhi, achcha na do, uske
shauhal ko do, damaad ko do
Umrao – Khuda ke liye chup ja
Wafadaal – Pal Damaad ko ‘jadaad’ to kya... ‘daad’ bhi na mili
SCENE FOURTEEN
(Stage pe Ghulam Hasnain Qadr Bilgrami aate hain, Umr 35 saal)
Ghula Hasnain Qadr -- “Faqeer ne sher kahne se tauba ki hai.
Sher Sunna to mumkin hi nahin. Bahra hun. Sher dekhne se
nafrat hai. Pachattar baras ki umr. Pandrah baras ki umr se sher
kahta hun. Saath baras baka. Na madah ka sila mila. Na ghazal ki
dad. Baqaul Anwari:
Ai dareegha! Neest mamduh-e sazavar-e madeeh
Ai dareegha! Neest mashooq-e sazavare ghzal
SCENE FIFTEEN
(Umrao aur wafadaar)
Umrao – Batao.. koi sau, sava sau boodhon, bachchon aur
jawaanon ko sher-o-shayeri ki raah pe daal ke, khud shayeri se
taeb ho gaye... yeh bechaara Ghulam Hasnain Qadr Bilgrami... ki
jiska khat tumhe sunaaya ......, sukh chain se madarse mein
mastri karta tha, bachchon ko hisaab padhata tha ... par mat
maari gayee.... inka shaagird ho gaya ... hisab ke darje mein
shayeri padhane laga ... madarse walon ne nikaal bahar kiya ..
aur Ghareeb Bilgrami ko to choro, yeh apne “bade mian”
Wafadaar – Bale mian kaun?
Umrao – Yahi Mirza Har Gopal Taftah
 SCENE SIXTEEN
(Taftah Ek khat padh rahe hain)
Taftah - “Deebaacha wa taqreez ka likhna aisa asaan nahin hai
ki jaisa tum ko dewaan ka likh lena. kyon roopiyah kharaab
karte ho aur kyon chapwate ho.. ab yeh deewan chapwa kar aur
teesre deewan ki fikr mein paro ge... tum do chaar baras ki umr
mein ek deewan kah loge main kahan tak deebacha likhun ga”
SCENE SEVENTEEN
(Umrao aur wafadar)
Umrao -- (Wafadaar se) ... 19 baras ke thae jab inki shagirdi
mein aaye. Pahle “Rami” takhal-lus rakhte thae
Wafaddar – Haan! yeh tha “Hindu” takhallus; “Lam” se “Lami”
Umrao – Jaahil japat! buqraati na chant “Ram se Rami” ...
inhone badal ke “Taftah” rakh diya, saath hi saath “Mirza” ka
khetaab bi de dala .... dimaagh saatvein aasmaan pe pahunch
gaya ... .... achche bhale Company Bahadur ki sirkaar mein
“qanoon go” thae, rupiye paise ki charon taraf se rel pail....sab
kuch chor char ke dewaan pe dewaan likhne lage... ek do nahin
chaar-` chaar deewan... “Bostaan” ke jawaab mein 460 panne
ki “Sunblistaan” likh maara .. aur jab Taftah “Sumblistaan”
apne ustaad ko bhejte hain ki ustaad fakhr karen ge, khush honge
to Ustaad “Sunblistaan” ka muqaabla Lal Qile ki begmeaat se
kar dete hain
Wafadaal – Taleef hi to kiya
Umrao —1857 ke baad ki begmeaat:
 SCENE EIGHTEEN
(Mirza Taftah ek khat padhte hain)
Taftah - Hai, kya buri “kapi” (copy) hai. Apne ishaar aur is
“kapi” ki misaal tab tum pe khulti ki tum yahaan hote aur
begmeaat-e qila ko phirte-chalte dekhte. Soorat maah-e do haftah
ki si, aur kapde maile, paenche leer leer, juti tuti.
“Sunblistaan” ek mashooq-e khubru hai, bad libaas hai”
SCENE NINETEEN
(Umrao Aur Wafadar)
Umrao- .... Ab Mirza Tahftah ka yeh haal ki khaane peene ke
laale pad gaye hain..... chaar deewaan ne dewaalia nikal diya .. ....
Wafadaar – Salkaal ke sale shagildon ko salvatein suna lahi ho,
Nawwab Alai ko nahin, bhateeje jo thahle.
Umrao – Alai ka to Allah hi malik hai ... Ya Shayeri, ya
Shatranj.... .. baap beemar hon, unki bala se ... riyaasat jaaye
bhad mein.... unhein “Waali-e riyaasat” thode hi ban-na hai,
unhein to Mirza Asad Ullah Khan Ghalib ka “khaleefah” ban-na
hai.... achcha chor yeh sab ... mujhe ghusula khaane le chal .....
wahan khadi khadi kya marti hai ..... ghusul khane mein paani
rakh ..... Aia mere Allah alai ko nek raah pe laga
SCENE TWENTY
(Alai aur Mushki. Alai ek khat padhte hain)
“Mian main badi museebat mein hun. Mahal-sara ki deeewarein
gir gayee hain. Tumhari phoophi kahti hain: “ Hai dabi, Hai
mari”. Dewaan khane ka haal mahal-sera se bad tar hai. Main
marne se nahin darta, Fuqdaan-e rahat se ghabra gaya hun. Chat
chalni hai. Abr do ghante barsai to chat chaar ghante barasti
hai.......
Agar tum se ho sake to barsaat tak bhai se mujh ko woh haveli,
jis mein Meer Hasan rahte thae, apni phoophi ke rahne ko aur
kothi mein se woh baala khana, mae dalaan-e zeerin, jo Ilahi
Bakhsh marhoom ka maskan tha, mere rahne ko dilva do.
Ghalib
Yak-shamba, 27 July 1862
Alai – (Ek khat dikhate hue) -- Bataaiye sahib! Yeh khat jab
duniya ki nazron se guzre ga, to log kya kahen ge ....
Mushki – (baat kat-te hue) 1862 mein barsaat bade zoron ki hui
thi...
(Alai mushki ko ghoor ke dekhte hain)
Mushki -- Aur yeh bhi ki Mirza Ghalib ke ghar mein ooper se
kuch to tapka.
Alai – Aur yeh na kahen ge ki Mirza Ghalib 50 baras mein apna
ek zaati makaan na kar sake .... oopar se kiraaye ke jin makanon
mein rahe wo aise ki sardi, garmi aur barsaat na jhel sakein.
Mushki – Aur mizaaj to dekhiye, kahte hain:
Manzar ik bulandi pe aur, ham bana sakte
Arsh se idhar hota kaash ke makaan apna
Alai – Yeh khat nahin bhejta hun...
Mushki – Mat bhejiye ... par “ishq” aur “mushk” ki tarah “khat”
aur “qarz” bhi chupae na chupain ... Aap to yeh khat daba le
jaayen ge.... par Mirza Ghalib ne to dasiyon se yehi rona roya
hoga ....
 SCENE TWENTY ONE
(Meer Mehdi Majrooh, umr 30 saal, jo is darmiyaan stage pe aa
chuke thae aur ke khar padh rahe thea, buland awaaz mein khat
padhna shuru kar dete hain)
“Main bhula nahin tujhko ai meri jaan
Karun kya ki yaan gir rahe hain makaan
Barsaat ka haal na pooch. Khuda ka qahar hai.Qasim jaan ki
gali, Saadat Khan ki nahar hai. Main jis makaan mein rahta hun,
Alam Beg Khan ke kare ki taraf ka darwazah gir gaya. Masjid ki
taraf ki dalaan ko jaate hue jo darwazah tha gir gaya. Seedhiyan
gira chaheti nhain. Subah ke baithne ka hujrah jhuk raha hai.
Chatein chalni hon gayeen hain. Meenh ghadi bhar barse to chat
ghanta bhar barse. Farsh par kahin lagan rakha hua, kahin
chilamchi dhari hui. Khat kahan baith kar likhun?
(Majrooh Mirza Ghalib ne jo sher khat mein likha tha woh tanziyan
dohraate hain)
Main bhula nahin tujh-ko ai meri jaan
Karun kya ki yaan gir rahe hain makaan
Majrooh – (tanziyan) jo makaan “britishon / bartaaniyon” se
bach rahe, unhein ‘barsaat” duboti hai .... “qahar-e ingrez”
thama to “qahr-e ilahi” barsa.... jo bhi ho Mirza Sahib, shukr
kijiye, “girne” ko makaan to hai.... In Firangiyon pe Allah Mian
ki phitkaar, humaare to makan-dukaan-bazaar sab lut gaye........
Yeh Ghareeb! .. Meer Mehdi Majrooh ..... “Khuda” ne daana
paani Dilli mein likh-kha, ‘Khuda-e waqt’ ne Pani Pat mein la
patka ... thahriye ....
(Kuch dhoondte hain)
Majrooh – Kahan gaya ..... lijiye sahib .. apni hi zabaani suniye...
haan yeh raha..
(Majrooh khat padhna shuru karte hain)
Majrooh – “Oh Mian Sayyed Zadah, Dilli ke aashiq dildadah,
dhahe hue urdu bazaar ke rahne wale... hasad se Lucknow ko
bura kahne wale.... na dil mein mehr-o-azram, na aankh mein
hya-o-sharam .... Nizamuddin “Mamnoon” kahan? “Zauq”
kahan? “Momin” kahan?. Ek Azurdah, so khamosh, doosara
Ghalib woh bekhud-o madhosh, na sukhan wari rahi na sukhan
dani.. kis barte par titta pani.... hai Dilli wai Dilli bhad mein jae
Dilli
Panch-shambah 23 mai 1861
SCENE TWENTY TWO
(Mushki aur Alai. Alai ek khat padh rahe hain)
Alai – “Ai meri jaan yeh woh Dilli nahin hai, jis mein tum paida
hue ho...woh Dilli nahin hai, jis me tum ne ilm tahseel kiya
hai...woh Dilli nahin hai, jis mein tum Shobaan Beg ki haveli mein
mujh se padhne aate thae.... woh Dilli nahin hai, jis mein saat
baras ki umr se aata jaata hun.... woh Dilli nahin hai, jis mein 51
baras ki umr se muqeem hun, ek kaimp (camp) hai”
SCENE TWENETY THREE
(Taftah ek khat padh rahe hain)
Taftah -- “Gharaz ke apne makaan mein baitha hun. Darwaze se
bahar nahin nikal sakta, sawaar hona aur kahin jaana to badi
baat hai. Raha yeh ki koi mere paas aave. Shaher mein hai kaun
jo aave. Ghar ke ghar be chiraagh pade hain.
 SCENE TWENTY FIVE
(Alai aur Mushki)
Mushki – Sarkaar to halaq ke neeche neeche padhte hain, agar
halaq ke oopar oopar padhte to hum bhi sunte
Alai – Kisi ka dukhda sun kar kaya karo ge?
Mushki – Apna gham halka kar lenge, huzoor
Alai - Lo suno
(Alai khat padhna shuru karte hain)
Alai – “......Ab main aur baasath rupiye aath aane (Rs 62.50)
“kalektri” (collectry) ke. Sau rupiye Ram Pur ke...... Income tax
juda, chowkidar juda, sood juda, mol juda, bibi juda, bachche
juda, shagird pesha juda. Aamad wahi ek sau baansath. Tang aa
gaya, guzaara mushkil ho gaya. Subah ki tabreed matrook.
Chasht ka gosht aadha. Raat ki sharaab-o- gulaab mauqoof. Bees-
bais rupiya maheena bacha. Yaron ne pucha tabreed-o- sharaab
kab tak na piyo ge. Kaha gaya jab tak woh na pilyen ge. Pucha ki
jo na piyo ge to kis tarah jiyo ge. Jawaab diya jis tarah woh
jilayen ge. Maheena poora nahin guzra tha ki Ram Pur se
elaavah-e wajah-e muqarrari aur rupiya aa gaya. Khair ho.
subah ki tabreed, raat ki sharaab jaari ho gayee. Gosht pura aane
laga.
(Alai wahan se jaane ke liye uthte hain)
Alai – Kahiye kya kahte hain?
Mushki – Ameeron ki ghareebi
Alai - (Alai hanste hain) Koi aur jumla kasiye
Mushki – Hamein to sarkar ke khazane se sirf utna hi mil jaata
jitna Mirza Ghalib ko bachta tha
Alai (phir hanste hain) 20-22 rupiye
Mushki – Mujhe to 22 yaad hain
Alai - (hansan jaari hai) Diya
(Mushki kornish ada karta hai).
SCENE TWENTY SIX
(Umrao aur wafadaar)
Wafadaar – Achcha! Milza ke shagildon mein se koi aisa bhi hai
jo tumhe bhala lage
Umrao –Meer Mehdi Majrooh. Nek soorat , nek seerat, nek sifat,
nek bakht, nek go .. .... gabru jawaan .... .. par kya majaal koi
la’anat use choo kar bhi guzar jaaye: sharaab woh na piye....
SCENE TWENTY SEVEN
(Majrooh ek khat padh rahe hain)
Majrooh: Liquor ke maani tum na samjho ge. Ek Angrezi
sharaab hoti hai. Rangat ki bahut khoob aur ta’am ki aisi meethi
jaise qand ka qiwaam patla”
(Majrooh hanste hain)
SCENE TWENTY EIGHT
(Umrao aur wafadaar)
Umrao – haan to sharaab woh na piye, shatranj woh na khele, jua
use na bhaaye, teetar bater woh na pale, naach gaane woh na
dekhe, tawaefon ke chakaar woh na lagaye, bhang gaanja wo na
chadhaye .....
Wafadaar – Shadi woh na kale
Umrao –.... Jode oopar bante hain.... 35 hi ka to hai...
Wafadaar – Haan haan jise tum pasand kalo, us ko saat khoon
muaaf ... chuta sand hi kyon na ho
Umrao – Tok mat ... aur in sab se badh kar roze namaaz ka
paband
SCENE TWENTY NINE
(Majrooh Ghalib ka ek khat padh rahe hain)
Majrooh ;- Lo bhai Ab tum cha-ho baithe raho, chaho apne ghar
jao. Main to roti khane jaata hun. Andar bhahar sab rozah daar
hain. Yehaan tak ki bada ladka Baqar Ali Khan bhi. Sirf ek main
aur ek mera pyaara beta, Hussain Ali Khan, rozah khwaar hain:
Majrooh : - (Majrooh apne aap se) Main bhi apne ghar jaata hun
.. aap roti khaiye, main roza kholta hun
(Majrooh wahan se chale jaate hain)
SCENE THIRTY
(Umrao aur Wafadaar)
Umrao – Lekin yahi ‘Majruh’ Shaayeri avval darjeh ki karte hain
.... kaun kahta hai ki jab tak Mirza Ghalib ki tarah duniya ki
saari buraiyan na paal lo shaayer na kahlao ge:
Wafadaal – Ai Bi, Milza ka koi shel sunao na
Umrao – Sharaabi ka kyon sunaun? namaazi ka kyon na sunaun,
“Majrooh” ka kyon na sunaun.
Ghairon ko bhala samjhe, aur mujh ko bura jaana
Samjhe bhi to kya samjhe, jaana bhi to kya jaana
Wafaadaar—Yeh Majlooh ka hai?
Umrao – Aur kya
Wafadaar – Mujhe lage, Milza Ghalib ne aap ke liye kaha hai
Ghailon ko bhala samjhe, aul mujh ko bula jaana
Samjhe bhi to kya samjhe, jaana bhi to kya jaana
Umrao – Chup! (Sharma jaati hai)
Wafaddal – Is uml mein kitna achcha shalmaati ho... isi shalma
shalmi mein Milza ka koi shel suna do na
Umrao – Kyon suaun???? Mirza ne kabhi mere liye sher kahe ...
shaayer log “biwi” ke liye nahin, “begani”ke liye sher kahte hain
Wafadaar – Achcha kisi aul ka hi suna do
Umrao – Offoh kyon tang karti hai
Wafadaar – Sunao na
Umrao -- Le sun!
Ghar mein wahshat se nikalte hi watan bhul gaye
Woh fiza dasht ki dekhi ki chaman bhul gaye
Wafadar – Yeh bhi kisi ghail-shalaabi shayal ka hoga
Umrao – Haan hai... ek bhale aadmi ka hi hai
Wafadaar – Bibi tum bhi khoob ho, bhale logon ka bula shel suna
do gi, bule logon ka bhala shel na sunao gi
Umrao – Yeh bura sher hai?
Wafadaar -- Itna achcha bhi nahin
Umrao -- Namaazi parhez-gaar Nawwaab shafaq ka hai
Wafadaar – Namaazi hon ya be-namaazi, meli bala se, yeh batao
gole hain ki kale:
Umrao – Mujhe kya maloom, Dilli kabhi nahin aaye... Kalpi ke
Nawwab hain, gore hi honge
SCENE THIRTY ONE
(Nawwab Shafaq umr 50 saal stage pa aate hain. Shfaq khat padh
rahe hain)
Shafaq – Hai hai, kyon kar likhun Hakeem Razi uddin Khan ko
qatl-e aam mein ek khaki ne goli mar di aur Ahmad Hussain
Khan, unke chote bhai, bhi usi din mare gaye. Taale Yaar Khan
ke dono bete tonk se rukhsat le kar aaye thae, ghadar ke sabab na
ja sake, yaheen rahe. Baad-e fateh-e Dehli donon be-gunahon ko
phansi mili. Meer chotam ne bhi phansi pai.
SCENE THIRTY TWO
(Taftah ek khat yun hi dekh rahe hain)
Taftah - (Apne aap se) Yeh “Angrez” hain ki “Changez”, na kisi
ki haisiyat dekhte hain, na kisi ka rutba, na kisi ka ilm, na kisi ka
martaba .... “Top” se baandh dete hain, phansi pe latka dete hain,
jail mein dal dete hain.... Khuda ka shukr aur Maharaja Patiala
ka karam Mirza bach gaye:, Farsi aur Urdu shayeri bach gayee.
(Taftah ek khat padhne lag jaate hain)
Taftah: - Main Hakeem Mohammad Hasan Khan Marhoom ke
makaan mein nau-das baras se kiraaye pe rahta hun, aur yehaan
qareeb kya balki dewaar ba dewaar hain ghar hakeemon ke aur
woh naukar hain raja Narender Singh Bahadur, Wali-e Patiala
ke. Raja na sahebaan-e ali shaan se ahad le liya tha ki bar waqt-e
gharat-e dehli yeh log bach rahen. Chunanche baad-e fatah raja
ke sipahi yehaan aa baithe aur yeh kucha mahfooz raha, varnah
main kahan aur yeh shaher kahan:
Taftah - (Apne aap se) Aisa mahfooz bhi nahin raha woh kucha ...
Aapka deewana-pagal bhai to usi kooche mein mara gaya .... kya
khata kit hi us ne.... paagal tha ghar se bahar nikal gaya .... “shoot
at sight” ke adesh ke tehat mara gaya... kya “saait” aa gayee hain
“shoot at sight”.
SCENE THIRTY THREE
(Nawwab “Yusuf Mirza”, umr 25 saal, Ghalib ka Khat padhte hue
stage pea aate hain)
Yusuf Mirza – Haqeeqi Mera ek bhai deewana mar gaya. Us ki
beti, us ke char bachche, bachchon ki maan, yaani meri bhawaj,
Jaipur mein pade hue hain. Is teen baras mein ek rupiya unko
nahin bheja. Bhateeji kya kahti hogi, ki mera bhi koi chachca hai.
Ab khas apna dukhda rota hun...
(Nawwab Yusuf Mirza khat padhna band kar dete hain)
Yusuf Mirza --... Aapka dukhda padhunga, apna gham tazah
hoga
SCENE THIRTY FOUR
(Umrao aur Wafadar)
Wafadar – Aul yeh Nawwab Yusuf Milza kaise hain, inhein bhi
salkaal dhel saale khat likhein
Umrao – Badhaal hain, Jiske baap ko ingrez khule aam phansi de
de, woh Nawwab kya, aur uski Nawwabi kya
 SCENE THIRTY FIVE
(Nawwab Yusuf Mirza ek aur khat padh rahe hain)
Yusuf Mirza!
Kyon kar tujhko likhun ki tera baap mar gaya. Aur agar likhun
to phir aage kya likhun? Ab kya karo magar sabr? Taaziyat yun
hi kiya karte hain aur yahi kaha karte hain ki sabr karo. Hai ek
ka kaleja kat gaya aur log use kahte hain ki tun na tarap. Bhala
kyon na .......
(Nawwab Yusuf Mirza se aage nahin padha jaata. Rone lagte hain...
ansoo ponchte hain)
SCENE THIRTYSIX
(Umrao aur wafadaar)
Umrao – Inka naam Yusuf Mirza, Marhum Bhai ka naam Mirza
Yusuf..... Inhein bhai samajhte hain, in se khush rahte hain... is se
saare dukh dard baant-te hain.
SCENE THIRTY SEVEN
(Nawwab Yusuf Mirza ek aur khat padh rahe hain)
Yusuf Mirza – “Ek Bibi, do bachche, teen chaar aadmi ghar ke.
Kallu Kalyan, Ayaaz, yeh bahar. Mian Ghumman gaye gaye
maheena bhar se aa gaye ki bhuka marta hun. Achcha bahi tum
bhi raho. Ek paise ki aamad nahin.. bees aadmi roti khane wale
maujood.....aadmi hun deo nahin, bhoot nahin...... shaayed koi do
chaar ghadi baith-ta hun, varnah pada rahta hun ... na kahin
jaane ka thikana, na koi mere paas aane wala
SCENE THIRTY EIGHT
(Umrao aur wafadaar)
Umrao – “Na kahin jaane ka thikaana, na koi mere paas aane
wala”. Arey yeh khutoot kahan hain, tanhai ka marsiya hain:
Wafadaar – Kya tanhai, Mian zindah, uski Biwi zindah.. do no
chahein to ek doosle ki tanhai baant len.
Umrao -- Wo chalne phirne se majboor, main chalne phirne se
majboor. Woh neeche nahin a sakte, main oopar nahin ja sakti
Wafadaar – Zabaan to tumhali Masha Allah abhi kalak hai,
neeche se hi baat cheet kal liya kalo
Umrao – Chup rah, sabaq na padha ... Meri saas na ban ... Ja
oopar ja aur Mirza ki khabar la. Aur yeh kitaab bhi rakh kar aa
.... kitaab aas paas na mili to do tujhe sunaayen-ge aur chaar
mujhe.
Wafadaar – Lakh lakh aungi, lakh aungi, bas ek do shagildon ke
bale mein aul bata deti
Umrao – Main naaen lagi hun... ki duniya jahan ki kahbar baant-
ti phirun???
Wafadaar – Achcha un shaagild ke bale mein bata do, jinhein tum
jaal saaz kahti ho -- Dad Khan ‘Saiyyah’
Umrao – Kya ghalat klahti hun, jaali rupiya chaapta hai
Wafadaar – Bohtan hai
Umrao – Is pur ashob daur mein aur kisi ki itni himmat ho sakti
hai ki puri duniya ki sair karta phire, jiske rupiye ka ped laga ho
ya jiske paas rupiya chaapne ka aala ho... Itna ifraat paisa hai ki
Baroda aur Soorat se “aam” aur woh “haraam shai” inko bhejta
hai:
Wafadaar – Bas yahi falq hai tum donon mein, Salkaal bhi “aam”
ko “aam” kahte hain aul tum bhi “aam” ko “aam” kahti ho, lekin
salkaal jise “Khas” kahte hain use tum “hal –aam” kahti ho
Umrao – Dekh lena teri qainchi jaisi zabaan ek din qainchi se hi
na kat dun gi
Wafadaal – kat diyo, pal yaad lakhiyo ... tum aul salkaal meli
zabaan se hi ek doosle se baat kalte hain.
Umrao – Ghalat to nahin kahti
SCENE THIRTY NINE
(Is dauraan Dad khan Saiyyah umr 45 saal aur Nawaab Ghulaam
Baba khan, 30 saal, stage pea ate hain)
Dad khan -- Haazir ho sakta hun
Nawwab Ghulaam – Akhkhaah! Dad Khan Saiyaah Sahib Aaiyee
aiyee , tashreef laiyea .... kahaan khaaan ho aaye?
Dad khan – Nawaab Ghulaam Sahib .. kaha kahin aaya gaya bas
Iran, Afghanistaan aur Dilli hota hua Surat wapis
Ghulam Khan – Mirza Ghalib se mulaqaat hui?
Dad Khan -- Yeh kaisa swaal? Koi Makka Madina jaaye aur Haj
na kare
Ghulaam Khan – Kya saughatein deen unhein?
Dad Khan – Surat ke “aam” aur Bambai ki “khas”
Ghulaam khan – Aur mere liye kya saughat laaye?
Dad Khan – Iran se itr, Afghanistaan se Anaar aur yehan aaya to
Mirza ke koi paanch khat dak se aaye rakhkhe thae, phale kya
pesh karun? Itr ya Anaar?
Ghulaam khan – Ghalib ke Khat
Dad khan – Yeh lijiye ... pahle kaun sa sunaun?
Ghulaam Khan – Bhai Mirza Ghalib jis tarah aam khate hain usi
tarah unke khat sunaiye .... pahle thode thode sabhi, jo khat sab
se ziyyadah mazedaar ho ga woh pura sunen ge
Dad Khan – Nawaazish
(Dad Khan ek khat padhte hain)
Dad Khan - “Munshi sahib . Banaras ka kya kahna hai. Aisa
shaher kahan paida hota hai. Intehai jawaani mein mera wahan
jaana hua. Agar us mausam mein jawaan rahta to wahin rah
jaata aur idhar ko na aata
Ibaadat khan-e naqoosiyaan ast
Hama na kaba-e hindustaan ast
Nawwab Ghulaam – Lijiye Is sher ka Unru tarjuma karta hun ..
arz hai
Hinduon ki jaan hai, Banaras jise kahte hain,
Kaaba-e hindustaan hai, Banaras jise kahte hain
Dad Khan – Subhaan Allah!
Ghulam khan – Bhai pahla hi aam bahut meetha nikla: Pura khat
sunaiye
Dad Khan – ... to aage Mirza yun farmaate hain
SCENE FORTY
(Umrao aur wafadaar)
Umrao – Allah ki bandi... kitaab rakh .... kisi aur kaam kaaj ki
fikr kar .... Baqar Ali ki bitiya “Jania” aati hogi, “Hussain Ali”
aata hoga ... us ke khane ka intezaam kar ... woh to inse bhi bada
deewana hai .... teen teen din ho jaate hain na munh mein dana
dalta hai na paani kahta hai mota aadmi shayer hi nahin ho sakta
Wafaddar -- Lo jaati hun... lakh aati hun .... (jaati hai) (thodi der
bad ruk jaati hai) Bi bas ek baat aul bata do .... kitaab khol ke
batao ki Jab Firangiyon ko hala kal Bahadur Shah Zafal Badshah
bane to, Milza ne unka “sikka” kaha tha ya nahin
Umrao – Kaha ...
Wafadaar – Milza to mana kalte hain
Umrao – Jooth bolte hain
SCENE FORTY ONE
(Mirza Yusuf ek khat Padh rahe hain)
Mirza yusuf – “Main ne sikkah kaha nahin, aur agar kaha to apni
jaan aur hurmat bachane ko kaha. Yeh Gunah nahin aur agar
gunah bhi hai to kya aisa sangeen hai ki Malka-e Muazzama ka
ishtehaar bhi us ko mita na sake, barood banana aur topen lagani
aur bank ghar aur magazine ka lootna muaaf ho jaaye, aur
shaayer ke do misre muaaf na hon”
SCENE FORTY TWO
(Umrao aur wafadaar)
Wafadaal – Sikke na saala khel bigaal diya. Milza ne Sikka kaha,
Pension band hui, aul teen saal ke liye band ho gayee.
Umrao – Ghalat baat hai ... 62 rupiya aath aane ki pension band
hui, par 100 rupiye Ram Pur se aane bhi lage ... 100 rupiye kam
nahin hote .... aur to aur ingrez zaalim zaroor hai, be-imaan
nahin .... teen saal pension band ki, to ek ek pai lauta bhi di....
lekin wahi lat , wahi haraam shai.... (kitaab khol leti hai) padho
yeh khat, Babu Har Gobind Sahaye Nishaat ke naam yeh khat
padho
SCENE FORTY THREE
(stage pe babu Har govind Sahaye nishaat, umr 30 saal aate hain)
Babu Har Govind Sahay Nishaat: “Barkhur daar! Do qism ki
angrezi sharaab -- ek to “kas tleen” aur ek Old Tom. Yeh main
hamesha piya karta tha.... tum khareed kar bail gadi ki daak par
ravanah karo, jadon mein mujhko bahut takleef hai, aur yeh
gudchaal ki sharaab main nahin peeta ... mujhen is se nafrat hai
29 december 1858
Zaroori jawab talab
Az jaanibe Ghalibe jaan balab
SCENE FORTY FOUR
(Umrao aur wafadaar)
Umrao – Bees logon ke “khaane” ka paisa ek aadmi ke “peene”
mein jaata tha.... rupiya paani mein bahaa, aur paani ki tarah
bahaa...
(Wafadaar wahan se kitaab le kar jaati hai)
SCENE FORTY FIVE
(Nawwab Yusuf Mirza ek Khat padh rahe hain)
“Is waqt Kallu ke paas ek rupiye aur saat aane baaqi hain. Baad
uske na kahin se qarz ki ummeed hai, na koi jins rehan ke qabil
agar Rampur se kuch aaya to khair warnah Inna Lill-Lahe wa
Inna Ilaihai Rajeoon”
 SCENE FORTY SIX
(Wafadaar wapis aati hai).)
Umrao – Arrey tujhe kya ho gaya hai???.... Aaj jab bhi oopar
jaati hai, ulte pairon wapas aati hai ..... aur yeh Yeh kya?? kitaab
wapis le aayi?
Wafadaar – Salkaal ne wapis kal di .. aur yeh paighaam diya hai
(Umrao Wafadaar ke haath se kaghaz ka tukda le leti hai. Padhti
hain)
Umrao –.... Umrao Begum .... Tum ne meri kitaab chu li.... ise
paak kar diya.... wapas bhejta hun.... peeche peeche, par dheere
dheere, main bhi aata hun ...... is laayeq to hun ki tumhein in khat
ko padhte hue sunoon: Aur agar sun na sakun, ki bahra hun, to
tumhein in inhein padhte hue dekhun
Niyaaz ka Talib
Ghalib
Umrao -- (Pareshaan ho jaati hai) Arrey kahin yeh chal to nahin
diye thae.... gir gira jaayenge ..... chot aa jaaye gi... shakar ke
mareez hain .... ek ek zakham chalees chalees din mein bharta
hai..... tum wahin thahero main oopar aati hun, tumhe khat
sunaane ... .... in kapdon mein jaun?... safed kapdon mein ....
abhagan hun, par suhaagan bhi hun... Wafadaar koi lal joda
nikaal ... nahin rahne de .... yeh chal diye honge .... aise hi jaati
hun ..... Khuda tumhen salaamat rakhkhe .... jeeta rakhkhe .......
iske badle tum mujh se hazaar khat suno ... main tumhaari hisseh
daar hun, marne jeene mein tumhaari hisseh daar hun ..... agar
tumhaari shohrat aur naamvari mein hisseh daar nahin to kya
hua,.... tumhaari museebaton, pareshaniyon aur takleefon mein to
hun.
(Umrao oopar jaati hai, Wafadaar do-patte se apne aansu pochti hai)
Back ground se Ghalib ki ghazal bajti hai
Dard se mere hai tujh ko be-qaraari hai hai
Kya hui zaalim teri ghaflat sheaari hai hai
THE END