AMEN CORNER
BY James Baldwin
(David is a brilliant young jazz musician. IN the following monologue, he decides
to leave his home and reject his mother’s goal for his future. He decides to go out
into the world and become his own man.)
DAVID:
And if I listened – what would happen? What do you think would happen if I listened?
You want me to stay here, getting older, getting sicker – hating you? You think I want to
hate you, Mama? You think it don’t tear me to pieces to have to lie to you all the time.
Yes, because I been lying to you, Mama, for a long time now! I don’t want to tell no
more lies. I don’t want to keep feeling so bad inside that I have to go running down them
alleys you was talking about – the alley right outside this door! – to find something to
help me hide – to hide – from what I’m feeling, Mama, I want to be a man. It’s time you
let me be a man. You got to let me go (A pause) If I stayed here – I’d end up worse than
Daddy – because I wouldn’t be doing what I know I got to do – I got to do! I’ve seen
your life – and now I see Daddy – and I love you, I love you both! – but I’ve got my
work to do, something’s happening in the world out there, I got to go! I know you think I
don’t know what’s happening, but I’m beginning to see – something. Every time I play,
every time I listen, I see Daddy’s face and yours, and so many faces – who’s’ going to
speak for all that, Mama! Who’s going to speak for all of us! I can’t stay home. Maybe
I can say something – one day – maybe I can say something in music that’s never been
said before, Mama – you knew this day was coming.