REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

FOUNDATIONS
Why Do You Need This Stuff?
 If you were good with women in general, you would
know how to get the specific girl you want.

 To keep the girlfriend you want you cannot be needy.

 Knowing it could be a long time before you meet

another girl while she can go out and meet another guy
at any time guy often causes jealousy, insecurity, and
neediness.
Why Do You Need This Stuff?...
 The confidence and social skills you build learning to be
good with women will help you to maintain a better
relationship and make you a better role model for your
kids.

 You may not even know what kind of woman you really
want until you’ve had some experience dating.

 The confidence and social skills you build leaning to be

good with women will help you in all areas of your life.
Why Do You Need This Stuff?....
 Being a failure with women is being a failure at one of
your core purposes and can leave a dark cloud hanging
over all of your other accomplishments.

 Being good with women is fun.

 Being back with women sucks

 Become Good with women

How Most Guys Are
 Has a scarcity mentality, and thinks that the one girl he
likes is the only one he could ever have a real
connection with.

 Place women on a pedestal.

 Blames his lack of success with women on not having

money or looks.

 Weak sense of reality and fears rejection.

How Most Guys Are…….
 Makes excuses for his natural desires.

 Attaches too much meaning to his interactions with

girls.

 Tries to logically persuade women into liking hi and has

no idea how to get an emotional response.

 Tries to impress and please people.

 Radiates neediness and insecurity.

 Sells himself short and makes himself to available

Shift in Thinking: Men Don’t
Need Money or Looks
 Believe it or not money and looks are “logical” entities
 Social conditioning dictates that these things are attractive,
which gives some of the guys who have them the CONFIDENCE
to act attractively around women.
 This leads guys to wrongly deduce “it must be his money or
looks.”
 What a woman responds to are her EMOTIONS.
 To be attractive to women, they must feel an emotional
response to you.
 That comes from confidence, humor, social skills, dominance,
charisma, being different and unpredictable, etc..
Shift In Thinking: You Can Learn To Be Good
With Women Just Like Any Other Skill
(continued)

 The world is your pickup lab.

 All rejection is feedback.

 Take nothing personally. The same girl who rejected you

probably would have like you if you’d conveyed your
personality more attractively.
Shift In Thinking: You Can Learn To Be
Good With Women Just Like Any Other
Skill (continued)
 Think long term and go after the skill: be process
oriented not outcome oriented.

 Progressively desensitize yourself to being around

women and taking the lead.

 It’s just socializing. Socializing is 100% normal.

 Small chunk all learnings every night.

Shift In Thinking: Women Who Have Sex
With You Are Not All Sluts

 The best way to get the girl you want is to have sex
with her as soon as possible

 Women want a man who knows he wants and how to get

it.

 She usually won’t help you do this. She wants you to

figure it out for yourself.

 Sometimes guys will wait to have sex with the girls they
really like because they feel like they have sex too
quickly that it will wreck the future relationship.
Nerd Thinking
 “ I can learn the magic lines to get women, jump out of
the shadows, get one, and take her back to my nerd-
lair.”

 “This is too scary. I want the magic pill.”

 “I’ve never accomplished anything in my life, I don’t

like myself, and yet I can’t understand why I’m not
good at this.”
Cool Guy Thinking
 I will build confidence and social skills over a period of
time.

 I will be a naturally attractive guy.

 I will become a better person for women to be with,

inside and out.

 I will commit to stepping out of my comfort zone and

getting myself out there.

 I don’t view this as work anyway. It’s fun

 How Do you Get Good With
Women?
 Commit to going out x-nights per week.

 Commit to starting conversations with x-number of

women.

 You learn how to open conversations with anyone.

 You learn to keep the conversation going.

How Do you Get Good With
Women?

 You learn to ask for a number.

 You learn to work the phone.

 You learn to do a “day 2” (a date).

 You learn to bring a girl home.

How do you get Good with
Women..
 You learn to physically escalate.

 All the while you learn about your body language, her
body language, confidence, humor, charisma, and sexual
tension.

 When you start out pick a default way to start

conversations, hook attention, create a vibe, get
physical comfort, ask for a number, and move to
another venue.

 That way you have no excuses to sit there when you see
a girl you want to meet.
About Clubs
 Clubs have the number of girls that you need to practice

 Clubs have the number of girls that you need to hit

state.

 Clubs make daytime seem easy.

 Learn attitudes and styles of interactions of social

people.
About Clubs….

 Learn to hold court

 Learn to befriend large groups of people

 Learn to handle social pressure

 Learn to out-alpha guys

 Learn to handle funny logistical puzzles

If you can’t do clubs
 Some guys can’t do clubs because they have a lifestyle
or occupation that makes it inconvenient or impossible.

 If so, you must find any social gathering where you can
meet women easily.

 That varies from city to city, but wherever you are go

out and find where meeting large numbers of women is
realistic so that you can practice.
Confidence

 Voice

 Eye Contact

 Body Language

 Touch

 Social Skills

 Not Putting up with nonsense

Female Psychology
 Social conditioning

 Lack of accountability

 Girls as choosers (sort of)

 Change her mood not her mind

 Girls live in the emotion of the moment and backwards

rationalize (we do too, but more in other areas)

 Congruence tests
Female Psychology…..
 Secret Society (there’s a double standard for one type
of guy to another)

 Girl eye code (so as to not feel slutty and ratify

feelings)

 Why girls are drawn to clubs subconsciously

 Clubs as a revalidation venue and blow off steam

venue… On some level, girls going there wanting to
meet a cool guy.

 Dancing as sexual exhibitionism.

Female Psychology
 Some girls are screwed up (just like some guys) because
they learned from their family that fighting is a
precursor to love.

 Value matrix: they want men to fall in love with them,

they dance for hours, coquette, style themselves, read
Cosmo strategy guides, hold out sex with boyfriends,
make their boyfriends jealous to generate emotions.
Congruence Test
 Sometimes people will try to force you into a submissive
role that isn’t really who you are.

 This can happen often in environments where people

are drunk or with girls who are used to guys putting
them on a pedestal.
Congruence Test….
 Examples of that could be:

 When a guy says, “Show me how cool you are!”
 When a girl just met says, “buy me a drink.”
 When someone who wouldn’t reciprocate says, “Go to the
store and et me some food.”
 When a girl you just me says, “Is that a pickup line?” or
you’re a jerk!”
 When that happens, answering logically means that you buy
into that frame.
Congruence Test….
 Instead of responding logically, your strongest responses are:

1. To answer straightforwardly, but be visibly emotionally

unaffected by what they’re trying to do.

2. To not answer at all as if what they said was too far outside
of your reality to process.

3. To cut their thread off by not responding and asserting a

new topic of conversation

4. To answer in the way they want but make them wait.

5. To answer almost in the way they want but do something

funny that’s slightly different.
Congruence Test….
 To jokingly call them out for trying to step up.

 To joke that what they said is playing up to earlier

observations you made of them.

 To joke that they’re too strong for you to handle and

that they win

 To answer with something equally random and absurd as

the role they’re asserting.

 To answer cryptically and make them guess what you

mean.
Congruence Test….
 To answer their question or do what they ask, but make
them do something first.

 To jokingly imitate them.

 To give them a weird look

 To ignore them entirely.

Congruence Test….
 To playfully misinterpret what they said, jokingly suggesting that:

 They tried to compliment you.

 They tried to impress you

 They tried to come on to you.

 They were kidding and trying to entertain or help you.

 They said something funny and weird that they didn’t mean to say.

 They mumbled and you couldn’t hear them (making them repeat themselves).

 This kind of frame control can be one of the most severely misunderstood aspects
of social dynamics. It’s something that’s to be used sparingly otherwise it
immediately comes across as obnoxious overcompensation.


Elements of Good Pickup

 Don’t get stuck inside your memorizing a structure.

 Go with the flow

 Any solid pick up has the following elements:

Elements of Good Pickup
 Open

 Hook

 Touch

 Vibe

 Qualify

 Number

 Venue Change

 Sex
Winging
 Accomplishment intro, or Joke merge, or swap out.

 Joking around with your friends and inside jokes.

 Body language towards your wing.

 Getting your wing in with a 2set “my friend is bored”

 2-set dynamics with 2 on 2 approaches

 You and your friend tooling each other as a joke to

demonstrate value
Open
 Warm versus cold approaches

 Working the room versus sticking to one girl

 No eye contact is necessary.. “You just appeared”

 Get attention (tap on shoulder if she’s not facing you)

 Establish dominance with your eye contact and voice.

Open
 Keep talking until they open up…. “No way out”

 Structure opportunities to help them to talk.

 If girls ask you questions don’t let them take over and
tool you

 If girls are seated then preferably either stand them up

or sit down.

 Handling a rough landing with breaking rapport, pacing

and humor.
Open…
 Getting comfortable so you can work.

 Engaging late comers (don’t go backwards, but engage

them quickly)

 Reinitiating lost or interrupted approaches

 Determining the relationships within the group

 Getting alone time with the girl.

Open….
 Approaching girls facing the bar

 Approaching girls on the move

 Approaching girls at a table (Is a seat available? Is a

purse on the seat?)

 Approaching girls alone who wants to find her friends

 Approaching mixed (guy/girl) groups.

Hook
 Future Adventure Projection (FAPs)

 Roleplaying

 Conspiracies

 Busting them on their mannerisms

 Misinterpretation

 Push/Pull
Hook…
 Elastic band snapback effect

 Disqualification

 Pimp Talk

 Qualifying and Challenging

 Silly games

 Imitating them or other people.

Touch..
 Pinging  Tickling

 Teaching something  Wrestling

physical in nature (very
seductive)  Hair Pulling

 Moving her around  Neck Biting

 Poking  Slow Down Speaking

 High-fiving
Touch..
 Get closer

 Triangular gazing

 Back scratching

 Smelling hair

 Kissing
Vibing
 Be playful

 Tell funny or interesting stories

 Teach her funny things

 Ask her questions and misinterpret her answers

 Deep and wide rapport

Vibing..
 Make her want to find out more about you

 Vibing versus giving advice or having a set purpose

 Essence of nerds

 Building energy in the interaction

 Knowing when to pipe in and understanding hierarchies

Qualification
 Having a standard of what you’ll respond to so she
wants to impress

 Curiosity frame

 Commonalities

 Understanding and demonstrating authority in her

world.

 Teaching her things that make her feel closer to you.

Qualification..
 Qualification and how it makes you showing interest OK

 Psychology behind qualification

 Qualifying and then backpeddling

 Using the emotionally unexplained

Qualification
 Showing her unique value to you

 Giving your criteria and having her try to reach it

 Misdirection

 A good vibe is truly the best and most natural qualifier

Phone Number
 Let’s hang out later. Get you your phone. Here’s my
number. Call me so I have your number.”

 “You know what? You’re drunk aren’t you? I like you and
would have called you, but you’re too drunk and you’ll
forget about me. Are you drunk right now? If I call you,
will you remember me?”
Venue Changing
 Rule: OVERHYPE WHEREEVER YOU’RE GOING

 Meet your friends

 Meet new people in the club

 Take her to dance

Venue Changing..
 Take her to get a drink (water is good)

 See different parts of the club

 Checking out a different venue

 Go to after party
Venue Changing….
 Go to eat

 Go back to your house (give fun/interesting reason)

 Go back to your room (give fun/interesting/nonchalant

reason)

 Get on your bed

(give/fun/interesting/nonchalant/commanding reason)
SEX
 Slow escalation  Wash rinse repeat

 Teasing by moving forward  Not arguing with token

and pulling away resistance

 Dominance  Stopping and joking around

to make it not a big deal
 Playing hard to get
 Going for it when it’s right
Phone
 When you call a girl you  Also realize that she may
might feel apprehensive have like you in the
because you don’t want to moment but could have a
lose the validation of her million reasons not to see
like you previously. you again (boyfriend, too
inconvenient, etc..)
 Realize that regardless of
her reaction, it doesn’t  The other reason you might
devalidate that you need a feel apprehension is
great approach. because you can’t read her
body language or see what
she’s thinking like you can
face to face.
Phone..
 That goes away with  Sometimes it’s not a bad
practice. idea to just call and chat
without suggesting a meet.
 You never know which girls
will call you back.  Through trial-and-error, you
will eventually get a sense
 If you have trouble on the for when a girl is up for a
phone you can use what second meet up, and you’ll
you talked about on your know when it suggest it.
last call to get your mouth
moving.  Use the numbers of girls
who don’t like you to work
on your conversation skills.
Phone…….
 Take time out every one in a while to call all your numbers.

 It’s not a bad idea to keep your computer near by and have a brief
ledger of each girl and what you talked about.
Day 2
 Bring her somewhere you enjoy

 Draw her into your world. Make it cool.

 A day 2 should be casual, and if you can do something fun

that doesn’t involve money then all the better.

 It’s OK if she brings her friends.

 It’s OK if you bring your friends.

 It’s a great idea to bring her to your house, then leave, and
come back later.

 Have a repeatable plan that works for you

Personality
 Nice guy: Too supplicating.

 Macho Guy: Too arrogant.

 Both are coming from a place of reaction and

overcompensation.

 Good guy: A good mix between the two. You have a

strong sense of who you are.
Implementing a Habit

 Realize you’re not cut from a different cloth.

 You might not be that smart, but other people aren’t

that smart either.

 What one man can do, another man can do.

 Don’t wait for a girl to dump you. That is reactive.

 Be proactive and create the habit before the problem

occurs
Implementing a Habit
 1- Get an idea of what you want

 2- Formulate a plan of how often you need to show up

to get there.

 3- Accept that your new activity is a part of your life for

the duration of the time you’ve decided, and never
decide based on emotions if you’re going to show up or
not. Just show up.
Implementing a Habit
 4-Don’t worry if you’re getting results, just stick to the
plan with blind faith, and make your criteria for success
just to show up.

 5- Make it a hobby, look at the details critically without

taking advice dogmatically, and take the initiative to
shift the focus of your training when your intuition tells
you that it might help.