CHAPTER PROBLEM / SOLUTION 6 ESSAYS ay To write academic texts, you need to master certain skills. In this chapter, you will learn to: * Analyze a problem / solution essay * Use adverbial clauses and phrases as modifiors * Conduct research using multiple sources * Synthesize information taken from different sources * Write, edit, and revise an essay about education Bullying is a very serious problem in some schools,“= Many of your intellectual and practical activities involve attempts to solve problems, from the simplest to the most complex. You often write about these problems in college assignments, in the workplace, in discussions of politics, and in other situations outside of school. Here are a few examples ‘© why class sizes in an elementary school are so large, and how they can be lowered # why a business is losing customers, and what steps it can take to regain them + why the polar ice caps are melting, and what governments and industry can do about it A problem / solution essay first identifies and analyzes a specific problem and then offers a possible solution or solutions. While problem /solution writing applies to any topic, this chapter will focus on problems related to education. Elementary schools, high schools, colleges, and universities constantly attempt to solve problems related to a variety of issues. ‘These issues include funding, class size, curriculum, student achievement, and student conduct. Finding their solutions requires careful analysis, research, and practical advice. ANALYZING THE MODEL ‘The writing model examines the causes of @ serious problem in schools in the United States and then offers a series of solutions. Read the model. Then answer the questions. #? writing Model Buiiyine in Scuoots iW THE UniTep States fl } | 1 Schools @ relatively safe place to be. ! Considering that more than 55 million students attend school each day, vary few of them are victims of a violent act. Nevertheless, when bullying in schools occurs, it can be utterly devastating to its victims. In this case, the victims of bullying include ot only the students who are bullied, but also those who do the bullying, and ‘innocent bystanders” who see it happening and do absolutely nothing to stop it. Although bullying continues to | be a serious problem, teachers and school administrators can take @ number of steps } to prevent it or lessen its impact, | 110 CHAPTER 6Bullying, often considered just “what kids do,” has become a topic of concern Bullying takes two forms; nonphysical and physical aggression. The first is “a type. of emotional violence where individuals use relationships to harm others. Examples include exclusion from a group and rumor spreading" (Ophelia Project, 2005, p. 3). ‘The second, physical aggression, includes shoving, tripping, and taking personal items, Both forms, however, share common traits. “Bullying is a weapon of people driven by the need for power. Bullying can be a single action—verbal, physical, or emotional—but it is always done to cause fear and to exert power” (White-Hooel, 2006, p. 30). Almost everyone has been teased or called names at some point, and most people have teased others or have been guilty of name-calling. However, when teasing becomes repeated and cruel, and when its intent is to embarrass, hurt, or isolate ‘someone, it becomes bullying. When rumors are intentionally spread in class (or over the Internet) to destroy the reputation of another, gossip becomes bullying. Most teachers can identify students who are obvious bullies. Teachers can also identify those who seem to be targats of name-calling and subtle forms of nonphysical aggression. A more difficult task is identifying potential cyberbullies and their victims and determining what to do once they identify those students. What, then, can schools do? The Safe and Drug Free Schools Act includes bullying and harassment, and requires all schools receiving federal funds to not only respond, toll instances of bullying, but also to actively prevent it. Additionally, school districts have been developing and requiring anti-bullying policies and programs, Books such as Aggression and Bullying (Guerin & Hennesy, 2002) and Cyberbullying: Bullying in the Digital Age (Kowalski, Limber & Agatson, 2012) shed light on the consequences of bullying for both the aggressor and the victim. Books like these and established anti-bullying programs reveal that many bullies were either bullied themselves at some point, oF perhaps abused in some way by family members. For teachers. dealing with most bullying situations is, complex, especially because some teachers do not understand all the circumstances. They have not been trained to deal with the large amount of psychological information on bullying and its victims. Nevertheless, teachers can take some specific actions to help solve the problem of bullying in classrooms and schools, Here are some examples * Keep an eye out for bullying and take it seriously. When seeing a child harming or threatening another child either physically or verbally, the teacher should immediately stop it (continued on next page) . Problem /Solution Essays 111 www elltirBe an obvious presence. Early childhood and elementary teachers should supervise the playground. Middle and high school teachers should be highly visible and extremely attentive in the hallways, at lunchtime, at bus drop-off areas, at performances, sports events, and so on. Preventing an act of bullying is far more effective than responding to one. Bullying often comes from a lack of confidence, so do everything possible to help potential bullies develop genuine self-confidence. Likewise, strong self-esteem will also help victims of bullying to better withstand it and to get help, Maintain a strongly supportive atmosphere in the classroom that rewards students for good behavior and good work. Incorporate formal or informal lessons to help students understand that all forms of nonphysical and physical bullying are deeply harmful and absolutely unacceptable. Fully implement prescribed anti-bullying programs. Developmental psychologist Susan Limber, PhD, the associate director of the Institute on Family and Neighborhood Life at Clemson University in Ciemson, S.C., says that the most effective strategies to stop bullying involve “the entire school as a community to change the climate of the school and the norms of behavior” (Crawford, 2002, p. 64) Follow up with appropriate and fair treatment for both the bully and victim of the bullying. Ensure that witnesses of bullying may safely report what they have seen, Assure them that their identities will not be revealed and that their complaints will be taken seriously. Furthermore, once a bully has been identified, the school should take steps to prevent further instances and not embarrass the student. These actions may include involving the school ‘counselor or social worker. They may also include contacting the bully's parents and asking for their cooperation and support. Research indicates that bullying may be the last significant stage before the bully or the victim tums to physical violence against other students. School remains a relatively safe place for children to be, and every teacher, staff member, and parent must work to Maintain that atmosphere. Source: Essay adapted from Powell Sara Davis. Your Introduction to Education, 112 CHAPTER 6Questions about the Model 1. What problem is introduced in the essay's first paragraph? Who is affected by the problem? 2. What is the thesis statement af the essay? Underline it 3, What types of behavior may be classified as bullying? 4, Which sentence in the third paragraph begins a transition between the problem and its possible solutions? Circle it. 5, What general steps have schools taken to help solve the problem? 6, What actions can individual teachers take to help solve the problem? 7. What phrase or idea from the introductory paragraph is repeated in the conclusion? Why? # Noticing Vocabulary: Adverbial Intensifiers You already know that very can precede adjectives or adverbs to intensify them. Other adverbial intensifiers, however, naturally precede certain adjectives, such as utterly ‘wrong or strongly determined. They are another type of collocation. Note that these intensifiers, like almost all adverbs, end in-ly. Finding Adverbial intensifiers In addition to very, the writing model includes seven adverbial intensifiers. Find and write each along with the adjective it precedes. The beginning of each intensifier has been included to help you. 1. re_latively safe (paragraph 1) 2 ut paragraph 1) 3. hi —_____ (paragraph 5, 2) —— (paragraph 5, 2) (paragraph 5, 3) (paragraph 5, 4) 7. ab —__________ (paragraph 5, 4) Probiem / Solution Essays 113E jell iI SELNTAON ‘As noted earlier, a problem / solution essay both identifies a problem and offers a solution. The problem is stated first and the solution stated afterward. A diagram of this organizational pattern, with examples from the writing model, looks like this: Introductory Paragraph ‘The opening paragraph identifies end briefly illustrates the problem, and suggests or proposes a solution (Which is the thesis). Problem: “. . . bullying in schools can be utterly devastating to its victims.” Solution: ". .. teachers and school administrators can take a number of steps in order to prevent it or lessen its impact.” q First Group of Body Paragraphs The first body paragraphs analyze the nature and extent of the problem and provide siatistics, quotes, and other data to support the analysis. Paragraph 2: defines bullying with examples and quotations from experts Paragraph 3: expands the definition of the term by explaining what it is not and. giving more examples. y ‘Transitional Body Paragraph As its name incicates, this paragraph provides a smooth transition from the problem: to the solution. Paragraph 4: introduces the solution by asking what schools can do t Final Group of Body Paragraphs ‘Any remaining body paragraphs explain how the proposad solution responds to the problem, and provide examples, facts, and figures on why the proposed solution will (or might) work. Paragraph 5: provides a list of specific actions teachers can take to avoid or solve the problem t Concluding Paragraph ‘The final paragraph returns to the main idea of the introductory paragraph and asks: that someone carry out the suggested solution. INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH Your first paragraph not only names the problem, but also indicates why it is, important. When possible, you should note how widespread the problem is and what effect it has on people or institutions. You then propose a solution, which is the thesis of your essay. 114 CHAPTERSBODY PARAGRAPHS In the body of the essay, a paragraph (or two) should explain the problem in more detail, Then a transitional statement should lead into the paragraphs that introduce and discuss a possible solution. Explaining the Problem Your readers must understand the nature of the problem. Therefore, you should establish why the problem is troubling, frustrating, or harmful. Support your claims with definitions (if necessary), logical reasons, facts and figures, and quotations from outside sources or interviews The second paragraph of the writing model lists two types of bullying—nonphysical and physical—and explains them. The explanation includes quotations from authorities as well as examples. Nonphysical aggression is “emotional violence” such as spreading rumors. Physical aggression includes shoving and tripping. They share a common trait, "to cause fear and to exert power.” Since not all readers may agree that the issue is a problem, try to anticipate their objections, then acknowledge them, and, finally, respond to them. For example, note how Paragraph 3 of the writing model anticipates a common argument: everyone has teased others or called them names. The paragraph then explains, however, that bullying is different in degree and intent. It means to “embarrass, hurt, or isolate someone” or “destroy the reputation of another. Making a Transition After defining and illustrating the problem, you should move on to exploring a solution or solutions. This shift in focus requires @ transition, which goes beyond a single word or phrase such as “therefore” or “as a result.” Sometimes itis merely ‘a sentence, but other times the transition may be a full paragraph. Both forms occur in the writing model. The last sentence of Paragraph 3 starts the transition by stating that the issue revolves around what to do once teachers identify bullies. Paragraph 4 expands on the transition. It indicates that schools are making plans to address bullying as required by Federal law: It also cites books that help teachers understand the effects of bullying. Then Paragraph 5 introduces the six steps that form the solution, See Appendix B on page 200 for a lst of more transitional words and piurases. Explaining the Solution You should devote the remainder of the body to your solution(s) to the problem. Explain why you think they will or might work, and contrast them to other less effective or ineffective solutions. Again, if possible, back up your claims with facts and figures, results of surveys, or quotes from authorities, similar to the quotation used in the writing model from the assistant director of an institute. You may also want to emphasize your main points by setting them off in a bulleted or numbered list, as in the writing model. Probie / Solution Essays 145H |CLUDING PARAGRAPH {Your concluding paragraph should include a call to action, in which you ask your readers to become part of the solution or at least allow others to carry it out. In the writing model, this call to action appears in the last sentence of Paragraph 6 that states, ‘School remains a relatively safe place for children to be, and every teacher, staff member, and parent must work to maintain that atmosphere.” Choose a topic and write an introductory paragraph for a problem / solution essay. Make sure to establish the problem, emphasize its importance, and propose a solution. + Poor nutrition and its effects on learning © Name-calling and teasing in school © Large class sizes of 30 or more students * Lack of arts education in elementary schools GRAMMAR Correct use of adverbials is especially important when writing a problem / solution essay, You need to describe the problem and the solution in some depth, which naturally involves the frequent use of adverbs. FORMING ADVERBIAL PHRASES Not all adverbs are single words; entire clauses can also function as adverbs. To review, an independent clause can be a sentence by itself. A dependent clause cannot stand alone as a sentence; instead, it must be attached to an independent clause, One type of dependent clause takes on the role of an adverb; that is, it explains zhen, where, how, or woky the action of the independent clause happens or happened. Most of these adverbial dependent clauses indicate time relationships, as in these examples: Before the problem becomes too large, After the changes have taken place, When a child is the victim of bullying . .. Other adverbial dependent clauses establish reasons or conditions relating to the independent clause. Because bullies lack self-confidence, . If bullies are identified quickly, . Although bullying is a serious problem, 116 CHAPTERS wwweelltirAlthough adverbial dependent clauses are essential to expressing ideas, you should not overuse them. You can achieve greater sentence variety and a more mature style by changing some of these clauses into phrases—groups of two or more words. Aoverent case When a teacher sees a child harming or threatening another child either physically or verbally, he or she should immediately stop it. sovenwat parse When seeing a child harming or threatening another child either physically or verbally, the teacher should immediately stop it sovensiat euwee After'a schoo! has identified a bully, it should take steps to prevent further instances and not embarrass the student. sevens eyetse After identifying a bully, the school should take steps to prevent further instances and not embarrass the student. soversut c.ause Because bullies lack self-confidence, they often benefit from attempts to build their self-esteem. aovereint pannse Lacking in self-confidence, bullies often benefit from attempts to build their self-esteem. ‘overeat cLaise If bullies are identified quickly, they may cease their harmful behavior. sovenstal pyease If identified quickly, bullies may cease their harmful behavior. When the dependent clause changes to a phrase, notice that its subject shifts to the independent clause. If that subject is a noun, move it to the second clause. Otherwise, the sentence may not be clear. uncuran Ifidentified quicly, they may cease their harmful behavior (Who are they?) cussn (identified quickly, bullies may cease their harmful behavior. uscunn Lacking in self-confidence, they often benefit from attempts to build their self-esteem. cussa Lacking in self-confidence, bullies often benefit from attempts to build their self-esteem, Problem / Solution Essays 117118 CHAPTERS Shortening Clauses to Phrases Change each adverbial clause into an adverbial phrase. 1. When teachers are observing students in the hallways, they must be highly attentive. When observing rhudents in the hallways, teachers must be highly wattentive, 2. Unless bullying is reduced, it may cause great psychological or physical harm to some children. 3. Although bullying is frequently discussed, itis not always prevented in some schools, 4, If rules are consistent and fair, they should make most children comfortable in a school environment. 5. After it passed the Safe and Drug Free Schools Act, the government required most schools to actively prevent bullying. 6. While children are playing at recess, they may not push or shove each other. 7. When witnesses report on bullies, they need to know their identities won't be revealed. 8. Once clear policies have been established, they may reduce the frequency of bullying,ELIMINATING DANGLING MODIFIERS ‘One danger in shortening clauses to phrases is accidentally creating dangling. modifiers. Every modifier—that is, a word, phrase, or clause that functions as an adjective or adverb—must attach itself to the word or phrase it modifies or describes. A dangling modifier, however, does not attach itself to anything in the sentence. Most dangling modifiers begin a sentence, so readers expect the subject of the clause that follows to name the actor a modifier describes. If that actor is not named, the sentence is imprecise or unclear—or even humorous, as in these examples: uncisan Upon seeing an instance of bullying, it must be stopped at once. [No one sees the bullying in the sentence] exssx Upon seeing an instance of bullying, @ teacher must stop it at once. Itis important to stop an instance of bullying the moment a teacher sees it. uneteas When teased or bullied, the results can be very hurtful. [The results are not teased or bullied; people are.) cussn When teased or bullied, people can feel extremely hurt Teasing or bullying can be very hurtful to people. Correcting dangling modifiers is easy to do, but noticing them is much harder, especially in your own writing. You must edit your papers carefully, asking, “Can. this be misunderstood?” When spotting a dangling modifier, you can eliminate the problem in one of two ways: ‘# Name the actor as the subject of the sentence ‘¢ Name the actor in the modifier. Identifying and Correcting Dangling Modifiers Underline the dangling modifier in each of the following sentences. Then rewrite the sentence to eliminate the lack of clarity. 1. After spotting a bully in the playground, he must be prevented from continuing, After spotting a bully in the playground, someone must prevent him from continving. 2, Though not easily prevented, teachers can try to lessen the effects of bullying. 3. Acknowledging the seriousness of the problem, the school buildings must be supervised constantly by teachers. (continued on next page) Problem /Solution Essays 1194, Teased or pushed, the results can be devastating to the victim. 5. Driven by the need for power, the victims suffer from bullies, 6. Tohelp students develop self-confidence, they must be encouraged and praised by their teachers. EPARATION FOR WRITING Astrong essay supports its claims with explanations and examples, as well as with research material. In Chapters 4 and 5, you learned how to conduct basic research by using the library, magazines, and the Internet. You also learned how to quote and paraphrase material you find. Now you can move on to using material from several sources to back up a claim. RESEARCHING A TOPIC IN MULTIPLE SOURCES Before beginning your research, be sure to narrow your topic. With Intemet searches, for example, a topic that is too broad will lead you to far too many sources. Therefore, start by listing any words or phrases related to the topic, and then select the ones that are likely to produce specific results. For example, “elementary school” will take you to more useful Internet sources than simply “school” or “education.” “Bullying in elementary school” will produce even more specific results. You can then narrow (or expand) the list further, based on your initial findings. Finding Sources Use at least two search engines to find two or more “hits” (that is, websites) for each of the following key phrases. List the search engines you used and the titles of the websites you found. Example: non-physical bullying Google: “Bullying Harassment” www.bullyingstatistics.org./content/ bullying-harrassment:html Yahoo: Swart, Estelle and Judith Bredekamp. “Non-physical Bullying: exploring the perspective of Grade 5 girls. South Africa Journal o' Education. Web.vp.ac.2al sitefiles/file/¥7/bullying%20 article. pdf 120 CHAPTERS1. Inner-city education Search engines: Titles of websites: _ 2, Public high school completion rates Search engin ‘Titles of websites: 3. English language learner strategies Search engin Titles of websites: Consult an Internet source for information on one of these educational leaders. Then write an introductory paragraph for an essay explaining a problem or problems the person faced and solved. You will complete this essay in the Expansion activity on page 127. John Dewey Robert Maynard Hutchins Maria Montessori Mary McLeod Bethune Benjamin Bloom W.E.B. Du Bois Problem /Solution Essays 124 wwweelltirel [EXe=stl©"A good research-based essay uses material from several sources, not just one, in order to provide a stronger backing for claims. Often, however, these sources make similar points and should be synthesized, or blended together. Look for similarities (or differences) between the sources and include them in the same paragraph. ‘You must also explain the logical relationships between the sources. In your own words, and without referring to your sources, state the main point, or claim, that the sources support. Then cite the source material that agrees or disagrees with this claim, Peraphrase material whenever you can, but quote from it when the writer or speaker is a recognized authority or his or her phrasing is particularly strong. There are two main ways that you can synthesize the information from different sources: * indicate that the second source agrees with the first and perhaps expands on it in some way + indicate that the two sources disagree, wilh or without your judging which oneis right Here is an example of the first method taken from the writing model on page 111. Bullying, often considered just “what kids do,” has become a topic of concern. Bullying takes two forms: nonphysical and physical aggression. The first is “a type of emotional violence where individuals use relationships to harm others. Examples include exclusion ftom a group and rumor spreading” (Ophelia Project, 2005, p.3). The second, physical aggression, includes shoving, tripping, and taking personal items. Both forms, however, share commen traits. (This sentence establishes the agreement between the sources.) “Bullying is a weapon of people driven by the need for power. Bullying can be a single action—verbal, physical, or emotional—but it is always done to cause fear and to exert power’ (White-Hooel, 2006, p. 30). This next example, adapted from the LLS. Department of Justice Office of Community Oriented Policing Services blends several sources together to support the general claim of the opening sentence. Bullying is widespread not only in the United States, but also throughout much of the world, Exiensive studies in other countries during the 1980s and 1990s (This introduces the main areas of agreement among the sources.) generally found that between 6 and 38 percent of students are bullied with some regularity, and that between five and nine percent of students builly others with some regularity. Chronic victims of bullying, bullied once a week or more, generally make up between 8 and 20 percent of the student population (Olweus, 1992; Rigby and Slee, 1999; Ortega and Lera, 2000; Salmivalli, 1999; Farrington 1993). 122 CHAPTERSHere is an example of the second method of synthesis again from the LIS. Department of Justice Office. it begins with a general statement of possible disagreement and then contrasts several theories on the causes of bullying The reasons that people bully others are not entirely clear. Some researchers suggest that bullies have poor social skills and compensate by bullying. Others (This introduces the contrast.) suggest that bullies have keen. insight into others’ mental states and take advantage of that by picking on the emotionally less resilient (Smith and Brain, 2000). Along this line, there is some suggestion, currently being explored in research in the United States and elsewhere, that those who bully in the early grades are initially popular and considered leaders. However, by the third grade, the aggressive behavior is less ‘well-regarded by peers, and those who become popular are those who do not bully, Some research also suggests that “[bullies] direct aggressive behavior at a variety of targets. As they learn the reactions of their peers, their pool of victims becomes increasingly smaller, and their choice of victims more consistent” (Harachi, Catalano and Hawkins, 1999). Thus, bullies ultimately focus on peers who become chronic victims due to how those peers respond to aggression. Introducing Sources re tro) Keep these points in mind as you introduce the sources: ‘When you introduce different sources, Name the source. Chapters 8 and 9 and Appendix G_| try net to begin each sentence the will provide you with detailed instructions on how (BEING ry ee CPE eas ey to do so, but for now you should simply indicate the peeps ce eriaite say sek oe author’s name (if itis given) and the name of the ive, Peuaeet ree eel publication “reports,” “argues,” and so on. ‘* Decide on the order for presenting the sources. Which one should go first? « If possible, introduce sources that agree in the same sentence. For example, “Thomas Wilson and Helen Cowan both believe that bullying in the schools can be controlled.” Then you can paraphrase or quote each source. + Refer to multiple sources in one sentence (‘four people” or “several sources”), Then quote from or paraphrase one of the sources as an example. Explain or interpret a quotation from a source, showing its relationship to your claim © When sources disagree, include both sides in the same paragraph, Use transitions such as “On the other hand,” “In contrast,” “However,” to show the contrast. With a complex jonship between the ideas in one or more issue, explain the rel full sentences. For writing guides to help you introduce agreement and disagreement between sources, see Appendix A, page 192. Problem / Solution Essays 123 wwweelltir| | HEREGEME syntnesizing materials Look at the paragraph below from the writing model. Underline the sentence or phrase that synthesizes sources. [4] What, then, can schools do? The Safe and Drug Free Schools Act includes bullying and harassment, and requires all schools receiving federal funds to not only respond to all instances of bullying, but also to actively prevent it. Additionally, school districts have been developing and requiring, anti-bullying policies and programs. Books such as Aggression and Bullying (Guerin & Hennesy, 2002) and Cyberbullying: Bullying in the Digital Age (Kowalski, Limber é& Agatson, 2012) shed light on the consequences of bullying for both the aggressor and the victim. Books like these and established anti~ bullying programs reveal that many bullies were either bullied themselves at some point or perhaps abused in some way by family members. Work with a partner and find two articles on the Internet that deal with time spent on studying, Select a passage from each that agrees or disagrees. Then, ‘on your own, write a paragraph in which you synthesize the two passages in a paraphrase of both. om wal 124 CHAPTERS# Applying Vocabulary: Using Adverbial Intensifiers Adverbial intensifiers tend to fit somewhat with a particular adjective. Furthermore, they vary in their degree of intensity. For example, relatively is not as strong as highly, and highly is not as strong as absolutely. Before you begin your writing assignment, review the intensifiers you learned about on page 113. ERG Writing Intensifiers Using the list of intensifiers from Practice 1 on page 113, choose the one that is most appropriate in each sentence. Do not use the same word twice. 1. One child bullying another is _ wrong and should be stopped. 2. Walking on railroad tracks is —__ dangerous. 3. After it was so hot yesterday, the weather today is cool. 4. Itis_____unlikely that you will be struck by 5. Iwas ___ saddened to hear the bad news. 6. Living 1,000 years is ________ impossible. WRITING ASSIGNMEN Your assignment for this chapter is to write a problem / solution essay of five or more paragraphs about an issue related to education. Choose one of the topics and follow the steps in the writing process. Posstete Torics © Poor nutrition and its effects on learning Junk food sold in schoo! vending machines © Television or video games and their effect on homework * The length of the school year * Transportation to and from school Arts and music education (RB s6e> STEP 1: Explore your topic, audience, and purpose. « Begin by doing some research on your topic. + Take notes on facts, figures, quotations, and the sources of your information. With print or Internet materials, include the title of the article, the author (if one is listed), and the place where the article was found « Decide on the audience for your paper—the person or people most concerned about the problem, Problem /Solution Essays 125 wumelltirL} Bil pmo. STEP 2: Prewrite to get ideas, + Freewrite, brainstorm, or do clustering to explore your ideas. (Gees §—sTEP 3: Organize your ideas. * Drait a preliminary thesis statement © Outline your paper. * Introduce the problem, and indicate why it needs to be solved. + Explain the problem and its specific implications. « List the support for your claims, «Introduce a (possible) solution or solutions to the problem. * Include a call for action. (GRE step 4: write the first dratt. ‘+ Include an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. « Introduce the problem and the solution in the first paragraph Explore the problem specifically in the first body paragraph. # Introduce and explain the solution in the remaining body paragraphs. Include a transition that introduces the solution. * Support your claims with material that you synthesize from your research. (Diets stEP 5: Revise the draft. « Exchange papers with a partner, and give each other feedback ‘on your papers. Use the Chapter 6 Peer Review on page 235 to guide your feedback. * Carefully consider your partner's feedback. If you agree with it, revise your paper by marking the changes on your first draft. (Birreotesd> = sTEP 6: Eait and proofread. « Use the Chapter 6 Writer's Self-Check on page 236 to help you look for and correct errors in grammar, mechanics, and sentence structure, (Bee — sTEP 7: Write a new draft. « Revise the drait, incorporating all the changes you want to make. # Make sure the draft is legible and follows the format your instructor has provided. « Proofread the drait so that it is error free. * Hand in the essay to your instructor, 126 CHAPTERSRete co seas In this chapter, you learned to: Analyze a problem / solution essay ‘Use adverbial clauses and phrases as modifiers O Conduct research using muttiple sources © Synthesize information taken from different sources O Wiite, edit, and revise an essay about education Which ones can you do well? Mark them Which ones do you need to practice more? Mark them 2) EXPANSIO @ tmep waitine In this expansion, you will write a summary of the writing model, You will have 30 minutes, To complete the expansion in time, you will need to budget your time accordingly. Follow this procedure. 1. Review the writing model on pages 110-112. Make note of the claims in your own words and copy any quotations that are used to illustrate them. (10 minutes) 2. Write the paragraphs, Be sure to paraphrase the problem and solution(s) concisely in the thesis statement and end with a call to action, (10 minutes) 3. Revise your paragraphs to be sure they are clear and well organized. (5 minutes) 4, Check your paragraph for errors. Correct any mistakes. (5 minutes) 8. Give your paper to your instructor. @ COMPLETE THE ESSAY Return to the paragraph you wrote on an educational leader on page 121 and do further research. Then expand the paragraph into a full essay of at least five paragraphs. Make sure that the body paragraphs explain the nature and extent of the problem that this person encountered before introducing how he or she attempted to solve the problem. Be sure to provide supporting facts, figures, and quotes for your claims, The concluding paragraph should refer to the thesis of the ig paragraph and pethaps make a call for more action on solving the problem. Problem / Solution Essays 127