Module 14 : Attachment and
Relationship Building
Student Objectives:
To learn about the importance of a child’s early
relationships
To understand who the child has their first
relationships with
To learn about attachment theory
To understand the relationship between love and support
and security
To understand how attachment and relationship building
prepare a child for life
14.1 Introduction
Relationships are recognized as one of the
most integral parts of child development.
The way a child’s first relationship, with their parents,
plays out has been proven to impact whom the child grows up to
be, and how they participate in relationships with other
people like friends and colleagues.
In this module, you will learn about the proven importance of
a child’s early relationships with their parents and carers.
You will learn how these relationships are assessed according
to Bowlby’s attachment theory, and you will begin to
understand how the care and support children get from their
earliest days of life follows them for the rest of their
lives.
14.2 The Importance of Early
Relationships
A child’s most important relationship is
their first relationship with their parents
as well as other relationships with
siblings, immediate family members, and any
carers involved in the child’s life.
These relationships are essential for development because the
child uses these other people to help learn about the world
around them. These people serve as a role model for thinking,
understanding, communication, developing social skills, and
generally participating in life.
It is in these relationships that children can freely express
themselves. They laugh and cry. They ask questions. They begin
to develop their own answers to questions. The way the people
they relate to responding to them provides them with
information about how to eventually grow to interact with
others and with the wider world.
This system of learning is why many psychologists believe that
love and warmth are so important for building relationships
and connections with children. The support children have early
in life, and the demonstrations of positive behavior, help
them deal with problems and stress later in life in a way that
is healthy and socially acceptable.
It also helps them build further healthy relationships as
their horizons widen and their world grows. Children who
experience these kinds of strong, positive bonds with their
parents have an easier time making friends and generally
interacting with others as they grow. It makes their lives
easier and more fulfilling.
Additionally, these early relationships build bonds between
parents and their children. First steps, first words, and
first days of school are all shared experiences that result in
bonds that foster and strengthen those early relationships.
When early relationships are strong, children are more reliant
on their parents throughout their emotional and physical
development, even in the difficulties of the years of
adolescence.
Attachment Theory
Attachment theory is the prominent mode of analysis used to
describe and promote the emotional bonds, or relationship,
between parents and children.
According to Bowlby, the creator of this theory, when a
parent-child relationship is secure, a child is better able
to:
Deal with stress and keep negative emotions at bay
Explore the world around them confidently
Continue to push forward in their development (cognitive
and emotional)
Attachment transitions through four stages:
1. The infant begins by responding to anyone who offers
affection and contact.
2. The infant’s behavior becomes discriminatory and directs
certain behaviors (like crying or cooing) towards
specific people.
3. The infant develops an active attachment. Infants are
anxious when separated from primary caregivers.
4. Both the infant and their carers begin to influence one
another’s behavior.
The development of attachment is measured through the Strange
Situation Procedure. In this procedure, the infant is
separated from their caregiver, and the observer documents
their reaction upon being reunited.
The procedure is as follows:
Episode 1: Caregiver, baby, and experimenter (lasts less
than a minute)
Episode 2: Caregiver and baby are left alone while the
child plays
Episode 3: A stranger joins the caregiver and baby
Episode 4: The caregiver leaves the stranger and baby
alone
Episode 5: The caregiver returns and the stranger leaves
Episode 6: The caregiver leaves so the baby is left
alone
Episode 7: The stranger returns
Episode 8: The caregiver returns and the stranger leaves
Infants who like to be close to their parent or caregiver and
are anxious when separated and relieved when reunited, are
considered to be “attached.” Alternatively, if when a child
and caregiver are reunited, the infant is inconsolable and
cries when reunited with the caregiver, then he or she is
considered to be “insecurely attached.”
Things are not always black and white in attachment theory.
Children are not always either attached or unattached.
Disorganized styles also occur, and are presented with
behaviors that contradict their parents’ behaviors. For
example, if a child experiences distress and proximity upon
being reunited, they might be labeled with “disorganized
attachment.”
Attachment in Disabled Children
Children with disabilities, like cerebral palsy, Down
syndrome, and autism, indicate that children can demonstrate
atypical patterns of attachment.
Infants and children with severe disabilities may see delays
in their ability to demonstrate the behaviors related to
attachment, like smiling and vocalization. What is more,
parents may struggle to interpret the signals they do
demonstrate.
The combination of these delays or different behaviors with
the common feelings that many parents of children with
disabilities can have may result in adverse effects on the
attachment process.
Parents are likely to experience mixed feelings about their
child, such as trauma, grief, guilt, shame, devastation, or
anger, and these feelings may come and go in waves.
Additionally, being unable to read a child’s signals or coping
with developmental delays often makes the child a less
satisfactory partner socially, and this can result in an
atypical attachment.
Parental Roles in Attachment
The three patterns of attachment identified (secure, insecure,
disorganized) can fluctuate throughout the development
process. A child who is insecurely attached may become
securely attached later and vice versa. The process is highly
individual, particularly for children with severe
disabilities.
However, parental factors are a primary influence in the
categorization of a child.
For example, when a parent demonstrates support and acceptance
of a child and is willing to sensitively play with them, the
parent is more likely to instill a secure attachment in their
child.
On the other hand, issues like insensitivity, neglect, and
domestic violence are often strong indicators of disorganized
or insecure attachment.
FACT
Relationships with family members and other close relatives
are critical to the healthy development of a child. Children
use family members and other close relatives to learn about
the world around them and to model certain behaviors as they
grow.
Source: CPD
14.3 Carrying Childhood
Relationships Through a Lifetime
Understanding peer relationships through
childhood and into adulthood is complicated.
It is not simply a matter of being accepted by a peer group or
rejected by one. Instead, psychologists can look for personal
characteristics that are associated with acceptance or
rejection.
Friendship formation often begins between 18 and 36 months,
depending on the child. While a toddler’s concept of
friendship is limited, some psychologists believe the
friendships and play are essential during this period because
children who succeed in this period typically produce more
pro-social behaviors once they enter school age.
Additionally, the positive experiences of these years transfer
into a higher likelihood of positive, social experiences once
they reach school age.
This is incredibly important because once children reach
school age, particularly adolescence, the average child will
spend a third of their waking hours amongst their peers, which
is far greater than the time spent with other adults.
While no one theory carries childhood relationships into those
of adolescence, it is well recognized that a foundation of
secure attachment builds a strong foundation for positive
social experiences in early and middle childhood as well as
adolescence.
Take a Quick Recap Test
Conclusion
Preparing a child to enter the world and relate to others
begins in infancy. An infant’s attachment to their parents
often marks strong indicators that they have the support and
love they need at home to enter the world confidently and find
peers among the social groups they encounter. Thus, although
there are many theories governing child development, many
continue to rest upon the earliest years of development, and
the love and support the child received from the earliest days
of their life.
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