GOD OF

CARNAGE
BY
YASMINA REZA
TRANSLATED BY
CHRISTOPHER HAMPTON

DRAMAf ISTS
PTAY SERVICE
 CHANACIERS

AI,TN MI.EIGH
ANNETTEMLEIGH
MICHAELNOVAK
VERONICANOVAK

All in their fonies.

A living room.
No rcalism.
Nothing superfluous.
 GOD OF CARNAGE
The Nouahs and the Ralzighs, sining doun, facing one another.
'lYe
need n sense right awa! that the phce behngs to the
Nouaks and that the ttao coupbs haue just met In the eenter,
a cofee tabb, couered uith art bookl Two big bunches ofnlips
in uases. The preuailing mood is serious, friend! and tolaant.

VERONICA. So, chis is our smtement . .. You'll be doing your own,

of course ... At 5:30 llM. on the third of November, in Cobble Hill
Park, fbllowing a verbal altercation, Benjamin Raleigh, eleven, armed
with a srick, struck our son Henry Novak in rhe face. This acrion
resulted in, apart lrrom a swelling of rhe upper lip, the breaking of
rwo incisors, including injury to the nerve in the right incisor.
ALAN. Armed?
VERONICA. Armed? You doni like armed, whar shall we say,
Michael, furnishcd, equipped, furnished wirh a stick, is that all right?
AIAN. Furnished, yes.
MICHAEL. Furnished with a stick.
VERONICA. (Making the conection.) Furnished. The irony is,
we've always regarded Cobblc Hill Park as a haven of securiry,
unlike Vbirman Park.
MICHAEL. She's righr. We've always said, Cobble Hill Park yes,
Vhirman Park no.
VERONICA. Absolutely. Any.way, thank you for coming. The re!
norhing to be gained from getting sruck down some emotional
cul-de-sac.
ANNETI'E. Ve should be thanking you. rVe should.
VERONICA. I dont sec that any thank are necessary. Fortunately,
there is srill such a thing as the art of co-existence, isn't there?
ALAN. \?hich the children dont appear to have mastered. Ar
least, not ours!
ANNETI'E. Yes, not ours! .. . Vhatt going to happen to the

,
rooth with the affccted nerve? ,

VERONICA. Ve dont know'yet. They're being cautious about

the prognosis. Apparenrly the nerve hasn't been totally exposed'
MICH;,EL. Only a linle bit of it! been exposed'
VinONtCn. Yo. So-. of it's been exposed and some of it's still
nerve just yet'
covered. That's why they've decided not to kill the
MICHAEL. Theyie trying to give the toorh a chance '
VERONICA. Oiviously it would be best to avoid endodonttc
surgery.
ANNETTE. Vell, Yes...
nEnonrcA. So i(.r.'tl be an interim period while they give the
nerve a chance to recover.
crowns'
f..liCHagl-. In rhe meantime, they'll be giving him ceramic
VtnOXf CA. 'Whatever happen',
yo'' tLt hlve an implant before
you're eighreen.
MICFIAEL. No.
Permanent implants can't be fitted until you
finish
G[oNica.
" I pause
fffiXl1tt. of course' I hope(Sligh hope it all work out'
VERONICA. Yes, I hope so' )
ANNETTE. Those tulips are Sorgeous'- -
ilRb1\lCA. ii.vi. i'ot tfiat-litrlt Korean deli up on Smith
Str..t. Yo., kt o*, the one at the end'
ANNETTE. Oh, Yes' from Holland'
VERONICA. They come every morning direct
forw dollars for a bunch of fifrY'
nNfuPrre' oh, reallYl
VAnONfCA. You know, the one at the end'
ANNETTE. Yes' Yes'
ilRbnrcA. yoJ no* he didnt *'ant to identifr Benjamrn'
MICHAEL. No, he didnt'
face bashed in' teeth
VEib"N rcn. I-ptt"iut sight' thar child'
missing. still refusing ro talk'
ANNET'IE. I can imagtne ' ior fear oflooking
ili;HAEL.' H" J.o aii;t *"nt to idencifi him Veronica'
iti.'"';,;'i;; i; f'ont oihi' friends' we have to be honesr'
ir was nothing more then brav;do' itl
di'di'lii:;:'oiiou"'' bur bravado is a kind of courage' i'n'r
So ho* "? $7hrr I me'rn is how did
,qNNiifE. fftat's righr '-
you manage to get Bcnjamin's namc? ' '
VERONICA. Well, we explained to Henry he wasn't helping this
child by shielding him.
MICI{AEL. We said to him if this child thinks he can keep on hit-
ting people with impuniry, why should he stop?
VERONICA. Wc said to him if we werc this kid! parents, we
would definitely want to be told.
ANNETTE. Absolutely.
me .. ' (He moues away
AIAN. Yes ... (His cell phone uibrates') F'.,<cusr-
fiom the group; x he mlhs, he pulh a newspaper out of his pocket.) Yes,
-Murr.y,
ihrnk for calling baik. Right, in roday's Times' let me reed
it to you . .. According tJa paper published in the lzzrrt and teken
up yisterday in rhe Fhancial Timcs' rwo Australian researchcrs have
r.uid.d ,h. neurological side effects ofAntril, a hypertensive beta-
blocker, manufa.turid the Verenz-Pharma laboratories' These
",
side effects range from hearing loss to ataxia- ' " So who the hell is
your mcdia wa-tchdog ... Yes' its very goddamn inconvenient "'
i\o,.,rhai, most inco;venient abour it as far as I'm concerned is the
annual shareholders' meeting's in rwo weeks' Do you have .an insur-
ance contingency to cover litigation? " OK " '. Oh, and Murray'
Murray, asklo.ri PR gal to finJ out if this story shows up anywhere
.lt. ... Crll me back. (He hangs trp.,' "' Excuse me'
MICHAEL. So You re . . .
AI-AN. A lawyer.
ANNEITE. Vhat about You?
lf tCUAgl Me , I have a wholesale company, household goods; and
Veronica's a writer and work part-rime in an art history boolshop'
ANNETTE. A writer?
fnnONfCA. I contributed to a collection on the civilization of
Shebr, bar.d on the excavations that were restarted at the end
of the
Ethiopian-Eritrean war. And I have a book coming out in January on
thc Darfur tragedY.
ANNETTE. So you specialize in Africa'
VEnONtCn. I'- u.ry int.t t,.d in that part of the world'
ANNETTE. Do you have any other children?^
VgnOifCn. Henry has a nine-year-old sister' Camille' Vho's furi-
ous at her fatlter because last night her father gor rid of the
hamster'
ANNETTE. You got rid of the hamster?
UtCUAgl yes. fttit hamster makes the most goda*dn racket all
ift.n spends rhe whole day fast aslcep! Henry was in a lor ofpain
"i"f".
lai nightl he was being,Jriven crazy by the noise *rar tlte hamsrer was

7
making. And, to tell you rhe trufi, I ve been wanting to get rid
of it
for a lo"ne time, so I said ro myself, OK, t]rati it, I took ir and put ir in
,1,.r**i. I thought rhey loved &ains and guae1. an{ 4l that' bur I
cu€ss not, it iusr Jat rhere panlred on the sidewalk' Well'
they're not
3ornoa. *i-"t '
they re nor wild animals' I dont really know where
,h.i. n",utd h"bi* is. Dump them in the woo&' th{re probably just
* ""tr"ppy, so I dont know where youre supposed to put them'
ANNEffE. You left it outside?
VgnOirc,q. He left it there and tried to convince Camille it had
run away. But she wasn't having it
AIAN. Vas the hamster gone this morning?
MICHAEL. Gone, Yes.
VERONICA. And you' what field are you in?
ANNF.TTE. I'nr in wealth managcment'
"'
GnonrcA. is it at all possibli forgive me forto puaing Henry?
the

ou-..,ion ,o bluntly, that Biniamin might apologize

Af-qN. t,U be good if rheY talkcd'
aNlfiffe. H!has to apoiogize' Alan' He has to tell him he! sorry'
AIAN. Yes, Yes' Of course'
VERONICA. But is he sorry?
nil.N. H. t."f ir., *h", htt done' He iust doesn't understand rhe
imolications. Hei eleven
vdnONrcn. lf you're cleven, you're.not a.-baby any more' offered you
fr4lCHnpl-. Yo,t'r. ,,ot an aduk either! Ve haveni Ronnie? lt's
."trfrn-, -ff*, tea, is there any of that clafouti left'
an' exrra"ordinary clafout il
AI-{N. t wouldnt mind an esPresso'
ANNEI'TE. Just some water'
'(Tb wa\ alr') E'spresso for me too'
r.,riiuaeL. Veronica, on her
ia"g ;t'. clafbuci anlr'vav' (Afet a hiatus')'v/hx r
;.;;;;
;;;;;;lt' we'rJa lump of portti'"["v.'nd iit up.to us to fash-
it wont iake shape rill the very end'
il\i(/hott;.iil;;,.rit-nl'tn"it
knows?
ANNF.I'TE. Mm. is an
f"ircHefL. You have to taste this clafouti' Good clafouti
endangered sPccies.
AN NET'| E. You're righr'
AIIN. Vhat is it You sell?
soldering
ffiCHagl.- Do,,i..tit hardware' Locks' doorknobs'
frving pans
i;;;; ;i ';;,' of household goods' saucepans' "'

a
u
AIAN. Money in that, is there?
MICFIAEL. Vell, you know it's never exacdy been a bonanza, it
was pretty hard when we started. But if I'm out there every day push-
ins Lv prodr.lct, we survive. At least it's not seasonal, like textiles'
Al"th"rgit we do sell a lot of fondue pots around Christmastimel
AIAN. I'm sure ..'
ANNETTE. Vhen you saw the hamster sitting there' paralyzed'
why didnt you bring it back home ?
M|CHAEL. Because I couldnt pick it up'
ANNETTE. You put it on the sidewalk'
MICHAEL. I tooi it out in its cage and sorl of tipped it out' I
a..i fif.. to touch rodenrs. (Veronici comes back with a tray' Drinhs
and the ckfouti.)
vgnOf.l f 6e. I doni know who put the clafouti in rhe fridge'
Voti." p",t everything in the fridge' she won't be told' Vhais
Beniamin said ro You? Sugar?
nlRN.No, thank. Vhat! in the clafouti?
VERONICA. APPles and Pears'
ANNETTE. APPles and Pears?
ftRonrcA i,iy o*n liitle recipe. (She.na.the chfouti and dis'
nibrtes slices.) It's going to be too cold' it's a shame'
ANNETTE. Appl.s and pears, this is a first'
VgnoNrca. ,ippt.. ""d pears, it's pretry texrbook' but therek a
little trick ro it.
ANNETTE. There is?
VfnONrcn. Pears need to be cut thicker rhan apples Because
pears cook fa"ter tha-n aPPIes'
ANNE-ITE. Ah' of course '
lJrCrraEI-. But wait, shet not telling you the real secret'
VERONICA. Let rhem trY it'
AIAN. Very good. Iis verY good'
ANNETTE. Tasry.
VERONICA. ..' Gingerbread crumbsl
ANNETTE. Brilliant!
VERONrce. To be quite honest' I gtrt it from his.morher'
AIAN. Gingerbread' delicious " Vell' at least all this has gtven
us a new reclpe.
vlnCir.lrcAi la it if it hadnt cost my son two reeth'
have preferred
AIAN. Of course, that's what I meant'
ANNETTE. Srrange way olr expressing ir'

I
AI-AN. Not at all, I ... (His cell phone uibrates, he bohs at the
screen.)| have to take this ... Yes, Murray ... No, no, don't ask for
righr oi reply, you'll only fecd rhe controversy ... Are you insured?
. . . U-, mm . ..
\X/har are these symPtoms' what is ataxia? ...
\What about on a standard dose? ... How long have you known
about this? ... And all that rime you never recalled it? ... Vhat!
rhc grtrss? . . . Ah, gor it. I sec . . . (He hangs up and immediately dizLs
dorll,r, ,urrbrr, tcarfug tkfouti ,tll tln uthib )
ANNETTE,. Alan, do you mind ioining usl
A[AN. Yes, yes, I'm coming ..' ( to th cell') Serge? "' Theyve
known about the risk for rwo years... An internal report, but it
didnt fbrmally identify any undesirable sidc effecm "' No, they
r.rok no orccautions, they didnr insure, not a word about it in the
,Joor, ... lmpaired motor skills, stabiliry problems' in short
",rnuJl.rok' complcrclv retardcd -.. (He hughs along tuith bis col'
uo.,
'lugue.
) 1'hey g,orring on. hundred and fiftv million.dollars ' ' '
"r.
Blink r ,l.ttial '..-ldiot tia.tted to demand a right of reply' Ve ccr-
t.irrly ,lont want a right of reply, on rhe orher hand if the story
sorcads we could put out a press rcleasc, sJy lts dlslntormatton
ll"k.d r*o *."L" bcfbre rhe shareholJcrs' mccting " He's going to
call mc baek ... OK. {He hangs rp / I haven't had lunch'
MICHA,bL. Pleasc' help youiself , help yourseh-'
AIAN. Thanhs. I have no manners' \flhat were we saying?
GnONfcl'. That it would have been niccr to meet under different
circumstances.
Oft, yes, right So the clafouti' it's your mother's? . .
Af-{N.
VtCHAgl-. the te"cipe it my mothert' but Ronnie made this one'
VERONICA. Your mother doesn't mix pears and apples!
MICHAEL. No.
VERONICA. Poor thing has to have an operarion'
ANNET'|E. ReallY? Vhar fbr?
VERONICA. Hcr knee.
fCffall l'hcy'rc going to inserr a rotatable prosthesis. bemade
ftf
of
.*J p.fy*iiyt.n".. S[.t wondering what's going to left of
it when".ashe's crematcd.
VERONICA. Dont be horrible'
fr.lfdffaff-. She refuses to be buried next to my father'. She wants
own in
,o U....4",.a and put next to her mother who's all on her
i r"rial. r*" urns, looking out to sea, trying to get a word in edge-
wise. Ha' ha! . '. (Sniles all round' Pause')

l0
ANNETTE, lVe're very touched by your generosiry. \(l'e aPPrecrate
the fact you're trying to calm the situation down rather than exac-
erbate it.
VERONICA. Frankly, it's the least we can do.
MICHAEL. Yes!
ANNETTE. Not at all. How many parents standing up for their
children become infantile themselves? If Henry had broke n rwo of
Benjamin's teeth, I'm afraid Alan and I would have been a lot more
thin-skinned about it. I'm not certain wed have been so broad-
minded.
MICHAIL. Of course You would!
AI-\N. She's right' Not at all certain.
MICHAEL. O"h, yes. Because we all know it could easily have
been the other way around. (Pause')
\GRONICA. So'what does Benjamin have to say about it? How
does he view the situation?
ANNETIE. He's not saying much' I think het still slighdy in shock'
VERONICA. He ,rnd.tsti-nds thar he's disfigured his playmate?
ef,qN. No. No, he does not understand rhat hei disfigured his
playmate.
Lt iNerrr.. 'i(hy are you saying that? Benjamin understands very
well!
alAN. U. understands he's behaved like a thug' he does not
understand that he! disfigured his playmate'
vinoNiCe. You don'tiare for the word, but rhe word is unfor-
tunately accurate.
nLnN. My son has not disfigured your son'
V-grioNic,q" Your son has d"isfiguied my son' Come back at five
and have a look at his mourh and teeth'
MICHAEL. TemPorarilY disfigured'
;ilN. T[. s*.ll'ing on'hit tiiwill go down':nd.as for his tceth'
take him to the best-denrisr. I'm prepared to chip
in " . ...
\'JVhat wed like is for
itailiaal. fn"tt *h"t the insurance is for' happens again'
;h;;;;; make up so rhat this sort ofthing 'ever
ANNE fTE Let's arrange a meetrng'
'f
MlCf tAEt.. Yes. hat\ the answer'
VERONICA. Should we be the rc?
,tinN. fn.y don't necd to bc coached' Just let them do it man to
man.
ANNE fI'E. Man to man, Aian, don't bc ridiculous' Having said

ll
that, we don'r necessarily have ro be there. Itd probably be beaer if
we weren't, wouldnt it?
\T,RONICA. The question isn't whether we should be there or not'
The question is do they want to talk to one another, do they want to
have a discussion?
MICHAEL. Hcnry wants to.
VERONICA. Vhat about Beniamin?
ANNETTE. It's no use asking his opinion'
VERONICA. But it has to come from him'
ANNETTE. Benjamin has behaved like a hooligan' we're not
interested in what mood het in.
VERONICA. If Beniamin is forced to meet Henry in a punitive
context, I cant see the results would be very positive'
AL,AN. M"drt t, our son is a savage To hope for any kind of spon-
raneous r€pentance would be fanciful' fught'.I'm sorry',
I have to
;;il ri the office. You stay, A'nnette, ybu'll tell me what you've
:;;tdJ, I'm no use which.u.i *"y you cut it' Women always rhink
r"" t"..f a man, vou need a farhei' as if theyd be any help at all'
'M.r, a dcad weight' rhey're clumsy and maladiusted' oh' you
"r.
can sce the F train, thatt great!
nf.iNifrg. I'nr so embairassed, but I cant stay either "' My hus-
band has never exactly been a stroller dad! " '
walk'
Ve[ONfCn. \fhat a pity. lt! lovely, taking the baby for a ofthe
enioycd reking care
n"a-i, i-". t".ft a rhort'time' You always
strollcr'
children, didnt you, Michacl' you loucJ pushing the
MlCtlAEL. Yes' I did.
VERONICA. So what have we decided?
Ar.fNir-fE. Could you come by the house with Henry about
seven-thirrY?
VEnCINICX. Scven-thirry? . .. Vhat do you think' Michael?
MICHAL,L. Vell ... HonestlY "'
ANNETTE. Co on.
UtCU,qf,l. I think Bcniamin ought to comc hcre '
VERONtCA. Yes' I agree '
MICIIAEL. I donr t[ink iis righr for the victim ro go trarpsrng
around.
VERONICA. That! right'
ALAN. P.rr.rn"llv' I ca-n'r bc 'rnpvhcrc at scvcn-thirry'
AN N b.'n'E. Sincc vou're no usc' we won
I bc necdlnB you'
VgnONfCA. All tire sanre, it would bc bctter if his father
were

le
here. (Alani cell phone uibrates.)
Al"{N. Atl ri$t, but then it cant be this evening ." Yeah? ...
Theret no -.tttiott of this in the executive report. And no risk has
been formally established. Theret no evidence ... (He hangs up.)
VERONICA. Tomorrow?
AllN. I'm flying to The Hague tomorrow.
VERONICA. You're working in The Hague?
ALAN. I have a case at the International Criminal Court'
ANNETTE. The main thing is that the children speak to one
another. I'll bring Benjamin hire at seven-thirry.and we can leave
them to have their discussion' No? You dont look very convinccd'
VERONICA. If Beniamin is not made aware of his responsibili-
ries, they'll iust look at each other like a pair olchina dogs, iill be
a catastrophe.
AIAN. V/hat do you mean? What do you mean' made aware of
his responsibilities?
VERONICA. ['m sure your son is not a savagc'
ANNET'IE. Of course Beniamin isn't a savage'
AIAN. Yes he is.
ANNETTE. Alan, this is absurd, why say something like that?
AIAN. He! a savage.
MICHA,EL. How does he explain his behavior?
ANNETTE. Hc doesnt want to discuss it'
VERONICA. Bur he ought to discuss it'
A[AN. He oughr to do ,iny number of rhings H,e ought to come
be sorry fbr it' clearly you
-f-r"r. he ought io discuss it, he oughr to
here,
p"*",i"g tLills that put ,.,, ro1h"-t, we hope to improve' but
in thi meantime , please bear with us'
rt,4AUael All rightl This is idiotic' Lert not end up like. rhis!
VgnONAn. I'm" only thinking of him' I'm only thinking of
Burjamin.
ALAN. I got the message.
nNNgf f''g. Let! iust ,"it do*n for anothe r couple of minutes'
MICHAEL. A littlc more col{ee?
AIAN. A coffle' okav.
ANNEI'TL,. 'l'hen I'll have onc too' Thanks'
'I'hais all right, Ronnie, I'll do it' (Patse' Annette dtl'
l.'irC nnEI-.
irr*t1 titt 17t. ,orrc of thi numeroas art boohs dispersed dround tbe
colfee uble. )
ANNETTh.. I scc you'rc I grcar art lover'

t3
VERONICA. Art. Photographs. To some extent irt my job'
ANNETTE. I adore Bacon.
VERONICA. Ah, Yes, Bacon.
ANNETTE. (Turning the pages./ ... Cruelry' Majesry'
VERONlCA. Chaos. Balance '
ANNEtTE. Thati right ...
VERONICA. Is Beniamin interested in art?
ANNETTE. Not as much as he should be "' Vhat about your
children?
rVe try to fill the gaps in the education system'
VERONICA. Ve try.
ANNEI-TE. Yes...
VERONICA. Ve try to make them read' To take them to concerts
Ve're eccentric enough to believe in the soothing
"J.ttriUi,..
nowers of culture!
iNNilTE. And you r. right . . (Micbazl comes back uithquestion'the cofee )
I
iJiCHnal. So, clafouti,"is it a cake or a tart? Serious
*".1"t, *"^f.itg in the kitchen, Linzertorte' for example' is rhat a
one linle slice'
tart? Come on' come on' you can'r leave that
VEnONfCA. Clafouti is a cake' The pastry's not rolled out' it's
mixed in with the fruit.
AIAN. You reallY are a cook'
VEfiONiCA. I iot e it. The thing about cooking is. you have toa
love it. In my opinion, it's only the.classic
tart' thars to say on
oastrv base, .hrid.t.-., ro be called a tart'
tMlb'HAEi.
\(/hat about you' do you have other childre n?
AIAN. A son from mY firsr marriage' what
l{f CUnEi. i *". *ondtting, not ih"t iis at all .imponant'
word,about tt'
started thc fight. Henry won't say o1e single
hls Eang'
AN N ETTE. Henry re fused to let Ben;amtn lorn
\TRONICA. Henry has a gang?
AIAN. He also called Beniamin a snitch'
vinoNIce. Did you know Henry had a gang?
MICHAEL. No. That's terrific!
VERONICA. VhY is it terrific?
MICHAEL' Bccause I had mY ou'n gang'
AIAN. Me too.
vinoNrCn. And whar does that cntail?
rtrrliieli.- rr,cre are five or six kids that follow vou and are
ready to sacrit-ice thcmselves' Llke in Spartacus'
AIAN. Absolutelv, like in Sptrtacust'

rlf
VERONICA. Vho knows a:bow Spartacus these days?
AIAN. They use a different model. Spiderman.
VERONICA. Aty*"y, clearly you knorv more than we do.
Benjamin hasnt been as silent you implied. And-do. we know
as
why Henry called him a snirch? No, sorry, stupid, that's a stupid
quisrion. First ofall. Icouldni carc less' also, it's beside rhe point.
AUNgftE. We can't get involved in childrens quarrels.
VERONICA. And it's none of our business'
ANNEfTE. No.
VERONICA. On the other hand, what is our business is what
unfortunately happened. The violence, thatt our business'
MICHAEL. To le.ome the head of my gang, when I was rwelve'
I had to fight Bobby Kopecki, who was bigger than me' one-on-
one, single combat.
VERONIICA. 'i(/hat are you talking abour, Michael? What's rhar
sor ro do with ir?
"n
lCHAgl. No, you're right, it's got norhing ro do with it'
-fhc children
VERONICA. Vi'r. ,tot lis.,,ssittg single combat
weren't fighring.
MICHA-EL. ILow, I know. I just suddenly had a flashback'
AIAN. Theret not that big a difference'
VERONfCA. Oh, yes, the-r. is. Exc"se me, theret a very big dif-
ference.
MICFIAEI.. Theret a very big difference'
AIAN. V4rat?
Mrcfreel Vith Bobby Kopecki, wed agreed to have a fight'
AIAN. Did you beat the shit out of him?
MICFIAEL. UP to a Point.
VinONtCA. i\l.ight, cat we forget Bobby Kopecki? Would you
allow me to speak to Beniamin?
ANNETTE BY all means!
VERONICA. i wouldnt want to do it without your permisston'
\iflhat could be more natural?
nNNgfff' Speak to him.
ALAN. Good luck'
ANNETTF,. Stop it, Alan. I don't understand you'
ALAN. Mrs. Novak ...
VERONICA. Veronica. We don'r have ro be so fbrmal'
nLcN. *t"ni.a, )'ou're motivated by an educational impulse'
which is very symPathetie . ..
'lf
VfnONICi. you dont want me to speak to him' I wont speak

t6
to him.
A[AN. No, speak to him, read him the riot act, do what you like'
VERONICA.' I dont understand why you dont seem to care
about this.
A[AN. Maam ...
MICHAEL. Veronica.
ALAN. Of course I care, Veronica, enormously. My son has

injured another child '..

VERONICA. On PurPose.
nL{N. S.., thatt the kind of remark that gets my back up'
Obviouslv, on Purpose.
'Bui
VERON iCA. thar makes all the diffe rence'
what we'rc
Af.q-N. f it. difference berween what and what? That's
;dil; "4.;,. Our son picked up a stick and hit your son' Thati
why we're hcre, isnt it?
,qNNErrg. This is poinrless.
is pointless'
f,liCHall Yes, she'l right, this kind of argument \Vhat
iiaN. Vfty do y"u f.i the need to slide in on purpose?
Lind of -.r."g. is'that supposed to be sending me?
m.y husband is des-
nNNg-Iii ii.,.n, *.',t Ln a slippery slope'
ocrate ebout all kinds of other things' I'll
come back thts eventng
fi;h il;;; we'll le t rhings slort themselves out naturally'
"",1
I'm nor in the lcast bit despcrate'
ALAN.
ANNE|TE. \(ell' I am'
pircHnrl-. There's nothing to be desperate about'
Eff E. Yes. there is. (Akn's cell phone .uibrates )
.

'irA]i.
,CNil . of
... Don', make any ""tt..,tni .'' No comment "' No'
.."^. t"" a, r.kc ir off the market! lf you take ir off rhe mar-
ff;J;;; ,.rpon'ible " The minure you take Anrril offrhe
;;;ffi;;;;;;l;i;B liabiliryr rheres nothing in the a"nual
the executtve teport
If you want to be sued for falsifying
,hir."nned in rwo wcck' take it off the marker " ' .
"..or.tn,r.
lrrd
".t
ft"f;ilieA. i";, v."', on Parents' Dav' wasni it Beniamin who
was in that PlaY... ?
ANNEI'TF:. CharlEs Aunt
VER( )N lCA. Charl4\ Aunt
nr,^tr.i. vJff think about the victims later' Murray '
Iet's see

what thc shares do afrer the annual meeting " '

VERONICA. He wes extraordinarY'
ANNEI'TF.. Yes...

JO
AIAN. We are not going to take the medicine offthe market just
because rwo or three people are bumping into the fi-rrniture! ..'
Don't make any stat€me nts for rhe time being . ' ' Yes. I'll call you
6ack . . . (He cuts hin of and phones his colbague')
VERONICA. I remember him very clearly in Charlq's Amt. Do
you remembe r him, Michael?
MICHALL. Yes, yes ...
VERONICA. He was hilarious when he was in drag.
ANNETTE. Yes...
ALAN. f7} his colleague.) .. ' They're panicking, they've gor the
media up their ass, you have (o PrePare a press release, not -some-
thing defensive, not at all, on the contrary, go ou-t all.guns blazinE,
you insist that Verenz-Pharma is rhe victim of a destabilizarion
*o weeks before its annual shareholders' meeting,
.where
",,.-p,
does thir paper come from, why did it have ro fall out of the skv
right now,.t..,.r" and so on ". Dont say a1ltling about health
ptbl"-r, iusr ask one q-uestion: Who's behind this report? " '
Right. (Hr hangs uP. Brief Puse)
MICHAEL. They'.e rerrible, these pharmaceutical companies'
Profir, profit, profit.
AIAN. You're not supposed to be listening to my co-nversatlon'
MICHAEL. Yo,r't. nLi obliged to have it in front of me'
AIAN. Yes, I am. I'm absolutely obliged to have it here' Not my
choice, believe me.
MICHAEL. 'fhey dump any old crap on you withour giving ir a

second rhought.
AIAN. In e therapeutic field, every advance brings with it risk
aswell as benefit.
MICFIAEL. Yes, I understand that. Ail the same. Funny job you have'
AIAN. Meaning?
VERONICA. Mi.h""l, this has nothing to do with us'
MICHAEL. Funny job.
AIAN. And what is it You do?
MICHAEL. I have an ordinarY iob.
AIAN. \X/har is an ordinary iob?
MICHAEL. I told you, I sell frying pans'
ALAN. And doorknobs.
MICHAEL. Artd roilcr fittings. Lots of other rhings'
AIAN. Ah, toilct fitrings. Now wire talking. Thati really interesring'
ANNEI'TE. Alan

t+
 really interesting' I'm interested in toilet fittings'
AIAN. lts
MICHAEL. VhY shouldnt You be?
A[AN. How many ryPes are there?
MICFIAEL. Two different systems Graviry or Pressure-asslst'
AIAN. I see.
MICHAEL. DePending on the fecd'
ALAN. Vell, Yes'
above or up from
vTciaEI-. di.h., th" water comes down from
below.
AIAN. Yes. managers
UrCHeei. I could introduce you to-one 9f 'n{.tt::\have to leg
;h.";;.*.di*: in kind of tliing' if vou like' Youd
,-!u"
ir out to Secaucus, though'
nUql. y"u ,e.m to be1ery on top oi rheBesubiecr' way? You
It-rVjN rcn. *. yo,, int.t'di"g to punish niamin in any
more approprlate senlng'
can carry on with the plumbing in some
ANNETTE. I'm not feeling well'
VERONICA' What's the matter?
A[AN. Yes, youre very pale' sweetheart'
'A
MICHAEL. little pale, certainly'
ANNETTE. I feel nauseous'
;ER6nrcA. Nauseous? " ' I have some Pepto-Bismol " '

ANNETTE. No' no "' tt'll be all right '-

GRbnrcA. Vh"t could *t"'? iokt' Coke's very good' (She
immediately sds llf in search of it')
ANNEITE. I'll be all right "'
rtirt'fraEr-.
'rrrrr. \t;[ ;t"""; linle' Take a few steps' (She takes a few
a
V"*rno comcs brk with the Coca-Cob')
ANNETTE. ReallY? You rhink so? '
VERONICA. Yes, Yes' Small sios'
his offce )
,{'NNEffg. Thanl you ' " 6Ln has ducreetly calted
;i,{N ... Giu. -.'S.,gt' will you please? "' Oh' right "' Ask
right away "' (He
;;-,; Ji m. b"ck, aslihim to'call'me back
'i:"*"ii k ii i".a"Co.a-Cola? I thought it was iust supposed to
be lor diarrhea.
GRbniaA. Not onlv fot thar' (Tb Annette') Nright? .
to reprimand our
ANNETil. Alright " ' Veronica' if we want
to account to
ciild, *.'ll do it iriour own way and without having
anvbodv.
rraicrrntl. AbsolutelY.

r9
VERONICA. Vhat do you mean' absolutely' Michael?
MICHAEL. They can do whatever they want with their son, it's
their prerogadve.
VERONICA. I doni rhink so.
MICHAEL. Vhat do you mean 1'ou dont think so' Ronnie?
VERONICA. I dont think it is their prerogative '
AIIN. Really? Explain. (lii cell photte uibrutes ) l'm.sorry " ' (72'
'E*..li"n, But don'r forget' nothing's been proved'
bis eollzague.) ...
there's n"othing definite ... Get this straight, if anyonc fucks up'
Murray is did man in rwo wecls, and us with him'
"
ANNE ITE. That's enough, AlanlThat's e nough now with the cell
ohone! Vill vou pay atrcntion ro what! going on herc' shit!
hLc,I',l. v.r'... il"ll nl. br.k and read it ro me' (He ltangs up')
\l(/h"t's the matter with you, have you gone nuts, shouting like
that? Serge heard everYthing.
nNNff-ig. Goodl Drivei nre crazy, rhat ccll phone' e ndlessly!
AI-AN. I-it,.n, Annette, I'm alrea.ly doing you a big flvor bv being
here in the t.irst Place ...
VERONICA. Extraordinary thing to say'
ANNLT'|E. I'm going to throw uP'
AIAN. No, youi! .toi you are not going to throw up'
ANNETTF.. Yes, I am...
MTCHAEL' Vould you like to use the bathroonr?
ANNETTE (To Akn.) No one'5 forcing you to stay'
VERONICA. No, no onei forcing him ro sta.v'
ANNL.TTE. I'm feeling dizzY "' \Woot-woof'
aiiN. i.t. at a fixcd"point. Stirrc at a fixed point'
ANNETTE. Go awaY, leave me alone'
VgnONtCA. Shc would be better off in the bathroom'
nf-A.N. C" to the bathroom' Go to the bathroom if you want
to
throw up.
MICHAEL. Givc her some Pepto-Bismol'
AIAN. You don't sttpposc it could be thc clafburi?
VERONICA. It was made YesterdaY!
ANNETTE. (To Alan.)Donr rouch nre! "
At-{N. C.rim down, \Woof-woof'
H.lrcffAgf .' Plrasc' lcr'' tr'rt g'ct workcd up 'rbout nothing'
ANNimE. According to ''rtv husband' evclvthing ro do rvith
house, school or gerdeu is my dep:rrtrnent'
AI-AN. No, ir's not!

t1
ANNETTE. Yes, it is' And I understand why' Itk deathly' all of it'
It's deathlv.
ViRONI'CA. If you think itt so deathly, why have children in the
first olace?
nif c'Hal.r-. Maybe Beniamin senses your lack of interest'
ANNETTE. Vhat lack of interest?
fCHell You iust said ... (Annette uomits uiobntll' A. brutalonand
'r)r^""i;,
rti
'-*, trii"part of which goes ouer Akn' The art books rhe
ifti,tr" tiii.;,, ilugtd')eo ge t rie dishpan' go get
';::;t' '(i;;;;"
the dish-
;ru o,t nLoh fo' i pan and Mtcha.el hands her the
comes out')
i;i"' ;;"; iwt in ctse. Annette ittchei ngain' but notling
;'fiN.'V;;-tit.uiJ nru. gonc ro the-barhroom' voof-woof' this
is ridiculous!
itriEinti. like your suit ate most of itl (Very soon' Vronrca
';t';;;;*;J Looks and'a cloth' The basin is giu-en m Anne.ne')
, basirt
ffiloNiCA $.i1, itt ab,oltttely not the clafouti' couldnt possi-
blv be.
nerves'
f..lfCffAnf-. It's not the clafouti' iis nerves' This is pure
veniiliicn [o Akn.) \Would you like to clean up in the rest-
;;;;o;;';;,',i. i"ko'.hk,t oi, mv God! (Annexe uomits bilz
into tfu basin.)
v iCnnEr-. Givc hcr sonrc Pe prt.r-Bisnrol' . . down'
VERONtCA. Not now, she cani ktcp rttythtng
AIAN. \Y,/here's the rcstroom?
VEn,lf.f f CA. I'll show you (Veronit't and.Ah!
kaue')
a nlom' -/\nnett€'
MICHAEL. It's nen'cs' It! a panic anack' You rc
tWh..h"ryou*"rrrtobcornotlundcrstandwhy;outceldesPerate'
ANNET I'8. Mmm'
the things that
r"iicH,cEi. Vhat I alwavs sav is, vou cant control
control you.
ANNETI'E. N'lmm "'
lii,i "t., it's rhe ccrvical vertebrac The vertcbrae
ilIcilil
seizc uF.
bile Wronica
Oftf NdTL g. Nlmm . .. (She brings up a little.more
irrurr, *itl' auotlrr basiu' cuttt'titt ittg 't. tPt'.try(
) ,, ,
\Whar are we going t"o Jo' ttbout rht Kokoschka?
VERONICA. -lv"ll,'l
rtfitiinii. would ip"f i' *i'h. Mr' Clcan ," the prob-
it a.rd put
i.J;;;;" Jt i, or tlJt ro" could sponge down
a bir of Pcrfunr< on it'
VF.RON lCA. l'e rfumc?

?o
MICHAEL. Use my Kouros, I never wear it.
VERONIC"{. Iill warp.
MICHAEL. l,X/e couldrun the hair dryer over it and flatten it out
under a pile of other books. Or iron it, like they do with money'
W.RONICA. Oh, mvGod...
ANNETTE. I'll buy you anothei one.
VERONICA. You cant find it! It went out of print years ago!
ANNETTE. I'm so sorry .. '
MICFIAEL. Well salvage it. Let me do it, Ronnie' (She hands him
the basin of water and ttre sponge, disgu*ed' Michael gex started on
cleanine uD the booh.)
'53 London
VERO"N I'CA. lr's a reprint of the catalogue from the
cxhibirion, more than rwenry years old! " '
MICHAEL. Go get the hair dryer. And the Kouros' In rhe linen
closet.
VERONICA. Her husband's in the restroom'
MICFIAEL. Vell, hes not naked, ishe? (She goes out 4s he continues
to cban up.)... Thcre, rhatt the worst of it' The Peoplz of th.e
Tundrd
,,..J, U'i,'-o.. of a wipe ... I'll be brck' (He goes.out with the used
'i^io. "Urrouiru ord Miciael return more or bss simahaneously' She has
,il U"it" tf ptrl"me, he has the basin containingfresh water' Michael
fiui:ht clennins uP. )
'Vf.tON tCn. i fo Anutc.) Fccling betrcr?
ANNET'I'E. Yes.'.
VERONICA. Can wc sPraY now?
MICHAIL. Vhere\ thc hair rlryer?
VERONICA. He's bringing it whcn hc's finishecl with it'
ftlf i:uall. Ve'll wait" fo"r him' \(e'll put the Kouros
on last
rhinu.
ANfi E fTE.
C.rn I usc rhc bathroom as we ll?
VL,RONICA. Yes. Yes, Yes' Of course'
nNNg ff E. I can t te ll'you how sorry I tm ' ' ' (Wronica takes ber
o t nnd retunts imtnediatefi.)
VERONICA. Vhat a nightmare! Horriblel
vli:rraEr-. 'Iell vou whit, hed better not push me any firrther'
VERONICA. She's dreadful as well'
N{ICHAEL. Not as bad.
VL.RONI(lA. Shc'' a PhonY'
N4ICIHAEL. Less irritating'
V'UnCiNfCn. 'l-heyte brirh dreadful! \(hy do you kecp siding

At
 (She sPrals tbe tuliPs')
with them? -i
iJitiraeL. aiJ,'k..p ,i'ling with them' what are vou talking
about?
VinilNrc,q. You keep vacillating' trying to play both ends

acainsr rhe middle.

rritcuntt-. No, t dontl
fiib"NKrA v.r' y"" do' Going on about your triumphs as a
with
,afi.*'ri,em rhtyte fiJe to do whatever they like
'"i"ti.ra.i
:i# '-';:; ,h: .iiiJ i' 'p'sri' menace; when a childt a pub-
rn.tl.l, il. euetybody's tlnt"'n' I cani believe she puked
all
ii.
o"., -v U"oUf (Shi sprny the Kokoschha') of the Tundra "
on fhe
iiil'iLad. llr; ,',i,iil'pu' some about People -

to-hurl' vou go ro the

ftib"Nrc;.' iivtt'lr'i"rt vou're
orooer Dlacc.
'rr,rrbnAl:r-. ... And thc Foulita'
. 5praying everythirg' This is disgusttng'
VERON f C,f
,)

Mla;Ati.'i*-i, f""h'ittg ii' lirie bir with rhc shithousc

svstems'

VERONICA. You were brillianr '

VfCHnef. Good answers' dont you rhink?,. L :': brrllrant'
VERONICA' Brilliant"fhe stock manager lntng 1v.a;
illefti.'vhr,-"i And whai 'iid he eall he r?l '
""hol''
VERONICA. \0oof-woof'
rr,f f Lrf ,cf L. 1'hat's right'
\Uoof-wooll
-1;thq
#idi'{iai" V;ofj'*ootl both hugb' Ahn returns' hair
,lmer in han/.)
;fiN' lt;;i' righr' I t'-
call her voof-wooi'
I didn't mca.--to bc rude " lt's so
?EnoNiCa. oi "' 'o"y' What about us' what
.r.., ro make fun of otht' ptopie's nicknamesl
.f.,'*..4t each orher' Michael? Far worsc' tsnt trl
AU'N. Oia vou want the hair drYer?
VERONICA. Thank You'
the hdi.r. dryer).\(e call each
MICHAtsL. I'hank you' (He ukes ridicuious' if you ask mel
.,rrit oU.irttg' iittt irtt tt"' i-h"ti more dryiug the boohs vtronic't
surts
i uiJ'rJ i*;t'nZ o' 'h' ^o'lti" ''d
';;;;;,';;,; ,i, )'rnp pages ) Smooth rhcm ,ut' sm,.rh thent out'
17'-"i' i"'ouJ" o"t the pdses' rdising het uoice about
'ffit3NiU: better?
)ttl')t)ir,.l Hn*], ,h" poor thing feeling'
ALAN. Better' of myself'
l;i:rioNiin. I reacted very badly' I'm ashamed
AIAN ' Not at all'

a?-
VERONICA. I iust steam-rollered her about my caralogue, I can-t
believe I did that.
MICFIAEL. Turn the page. Stretch it out, srretch it out all the way'
AIAN. You're going to tear it.
VERONICA. Youre right ... He's right, Michael. That's enough,
Michael, iti dry. Objects can become ridiculously important, half
the dme you can't even remember why. (Miehael shuts the catahgue
and they'both couer it with a linb cairn of heauy boohs. Miehael fn-
ishes drying the Foujita, The People of the Tir ndra, etc. .. - )
-
MICHAE=L. There we are! Good as new. '\i?here does Voof-woof
come from?
ALAN. How much is thar doggie in thc window
MICHAEL. I know it! I know rhe one! (He buns )Yoof-woofl Ha'
ha! ... Ours comes from our honeymoon in India' Itt idiotic, really!
VERONICA. Shouldnt I go and see how she is?
MICHAEL. Offyou go, Darieeling.
VF-RONICA. Shell I? ... (Annette returns ) Ah, Annette! I was
worried about you '.. Are you feeling berter?
ANNETTE. I rhink so.
AIAN. lf you're not sure' stay away from.the coffec table' .
ANNETTE. I left the towel in the bathtub, I wasnt sure where to
put it.
VERONICA. Perficr.
ANNETTE. You've cleaned it all up. I'm so sorry'
MICHAEL. Everythings great. Everythingt in order'
VERONICA. Annetteif'orgi,,e me, I've hardly paid any attention
ro you. I've been obsessed wirh my Kokoschka'
ANNETTE. Don't worry about it.
VERONICA. The way I reacted, very bad of me'
ANNff.ff . Not at ali ... (Afer an embarrassed pause'l Something
occurred to me in the bathroom ...
VERONICA. Yes?
ANNETTE. Perhaps we skated too hastily over " ' I mean' what
I mean is ...
MICHAEL. Say it, Annetre, saY ir'
ANNET"TE.' A; insult is irlso a kind of assault'
MICFIAEL. Of course it is.
VERONICA. Well, thar depends, Michael'
MICHAEL. Yes, ir dePends.
ANNETTE. Benjamint never shown any signs of violence' He

2>
wouldnt have done that without a reason'
I'm sorry!
,ff-AN'. ft. *o,..tled a snitch! lHiscell phonc uibrates') '''
mahing elzboratell aPohgettc stg'ts to
. .. (He moJes to one sidz,
stateme n$ trom,vtctrms'
Annrette.) Yes... fu long as there arent any
\i;;;;;i ;;.;;;/'i.ri-'' I don't want vou beins quoted alongside
... n blanket denial and if necessa-ry acrack the newsPaP€r
"L.t-ri
..: il;ii f*;" the draft of the press release' Murray' .(Hc hangs
up.) lf inyone'calls me a snitch' I'm liable to get annoyed'
UICHAPI-. Unless iti true'
AIAN. \X4rat did You saY?
MICHAEL. I mean, suppose it's justified?
ANNETTE. MY son is a snitch?
MICHAEL. 'Course not' I was ioking' to De '
ANNETTE' Yours is as well, il rhat s how rts Botng
is as well?
itliiHarL. Vhat do you mean' ours
nf.fNgffg. Vell, he did identifr Beniamin'
MICHAEL. Because we insisted! the poinr'
VinON*rcA. Mi.h,.l, rhis is completely besidc rnsrsted or not'
ANNiffe. Vhais the difference? Vhethtr you
he gave you the name'
AIAN.Annette.
You rhink mY son is a
ANNETTE. Annette what? (Tb Michael.)
snitch?
MICHAEL. t don r think anYthing' sav anvthing'
wJi.lry.' a"'it thiik anvthing' doni
fi-niitli.
Stop making thcse. insinuations'
and I are making
W'.RONtCA. Let's stay calm' Annett€' Michael
rr, affoa to be reasonablc and moderate "
ANNETTE. Not thar moderatc'
VenOf.f fCn. Oh, really? Vhat do- you
mean?

, NNlTfE. Moderate on the surface'

,ir-rN. r ,.*tty have to go' Voof-woof ' '
nNNgffi' ell tigh,' [o on' be a coward'
fi;'l".^;;;'.i";i;;'* I'm risking mv most important client'
so this responsiblc parent routinc "
w-di;NiA. Mv'son has losr rwo teerh' Two incisors'
,a,;N. v.r, Ycr' i think we all got that'
VfH.ClNf C,q. Onc of them fbr good'
oncs! Betrer ones!
AIAN. He'll have new ot"'' *tlil give him ncw
Itt not as if he's burst an eardruml

?4
ANNETTE. tWe're making a mistake
not to take into account the
origin of the problem.
VERONICA. There's no origin. Theret just an eleven-year-old
child hitting someone. Vith a stick.
AIAN. Armed with a stick.
MICHAEL. Ve withdrew that word.
AIAN. You withdrew it because we objected to it.
MICHAEL. We withdrew it without any protest.
ALAN. A word deliberately designed to rule out error or clumsi-
ness, to rule out childhood.
VERONICA. I'm not sure I'm able to take much more of this tone
of voice.
AIAN. You and I have had trouble seeing eye-to-eye right from
the start.
VERONICA. Theret nothing more infuriating than to be
attacked for something you yourielf consider a mistake' The word
armed was inappropriite, sowe changed it. Although, if you stick
ro rhe srrict dehniti,on of the word' its use is far from inaccurate'
ANNETTE. Beniamin was insulted and he reacted' If I'm
attacked, I defend myself, especially if I find myself alone, con-
fronted by a gang.
-Pufung
MICHAEL. seems to have perkcd you up'
ANNETTE. Do yo'u haue any idea how crudc that sounds?
MICFIAEL. Ve il mean well. All four of us' I'm sure' Why let these
minor irritans, these pointless aggravations push us over rhe edge? " '
vfiONfCa. oh, Michael, thi* enough! kt!
stop beating around
the bush. Ifall we are is moderare on the surface' leis forgct it'
MICHAEL. No, no, I re{irse to allow myself to slide down that slope'
AI-AN. 'Vhat slope?
iulrcH, gU The ihitry slope those two little bastards have perched
us.on! Thcre, I've said itl
A[AN. I'm not sure Ronnie has quite the same outlook'
VERONICA. Veronica!
AI-AN. Sorry.
VenONlgn. So now Henryt a little bastard' is he? That is the last
strawl
AIAN.fught, well, I really do have to go'
ANNETTE. Me too.
VERONICA. Co on' go' I give up' (The telepltone rings'). .
MICHAEL. Hello? ... Oh, Mom ' No' no' were wlth some

7q
friends, but tell me abour ir ..- do whatever the doctor wants you
to do ... They've given you Antril?! Wait a minute, Mom, wair a
minutc, don t go away . . . (To Alzn.) I'nttilt your crap, isnt it? My
mother's taking it!
ALAN. 'fhousands of people take it.
MICHAE,L. You stop- taking rhat sruff right now' Do you hear
whar I'm saying, Mom? Imrnediately ... Don't argue, -l'll explain
later ... Tlll'Dr]l'erolo I'm fbrbidding you to rake it " ' Vhy glow-
in-the-dark? ... Thais completely ridiculous " ' AJI right, we'll talk
(He hangs up')
about it later. Lots of love, Mom. I'll call you back'
... She's rented glow-in-the-dark crutches, so she doesnt get
k.ruck.d down by"a truck. fu if someone in hcr condition would
[. strolling do*n th. BQE in rhe middle of the night' They've
qiven hcr Antril for her blood pressure'
itAN. If ,h.,"kes ir and stayi normal, I'll have hcr callcd as a wir-
ness. Didn't I have a scarP Ah' there it is'
iJibrinrr-. I dont appreciate your cynicism' If my mother dis-
olays rhc most minor symPtonr' l'll bc starting
a class actton'
fuiN. Ott, thaill haPPen anPvaY'
MICHAEL. \flell, I would hoPe so'
ANNE fTE' Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs' Novak'
Vf,nONtCA. Behaving well gets you nowhere ' Courtesy is a waste
of time, it weakens you and undermines you '
and
itr-,qiq.' rugl,i' .orn. or,, Annette, lett go' enough preaching
sermons for todaY.
met you
MICLTAEI-. Go on, go. But can I say onc rhing? Having
Bcn;amtn' there are
rwo, it's pretty clear that for whais-his-name'
mitigating circumstances.
eNfigfig. ri7hen you murdered that hamster ' '
MICHAEL. Murdered?!
ANNETTE. Yes'
MICFIAEL. I murdered thc hamster?l
Ycs. You've done your best ro make us feel guilry
but
ni.rNgl:ri decided to be a
;;;; "i;;;*.., straight out the window once vou
killer.
iJicHaEl I absolutely did not murder that hamster!
terror' in a hostile
Ai'{l.iEiii. vorr.. You left it, shivering withhave been eaten bv a
;;;;;-;;; That poor hamster is bound to
doc or a rat.
VF:R()NI(A. lt\ rruel That is truc!

TG
MICHAEL. What do you mean, that is true!
VERONICA. Ir! true. rVhat do you expect me to say? It's appalling
whar must have happened to that creature.
MICHAEL. I thought the hamster would be happy to be liberated.
I rhought it was going to run offdown the gutter, iumping fbr ioy!
VERONICA. Well, it didnt.
ANNETI'E. And you abandoned it.
MICHAEI.. I can't touch rhose, things! For fuck's sake, Ronnie,
you know very well, I'm incapable of touching rhat whole species!
VERONICA. He has a phobia about rodents'
MICHAEL. That's right, I'm frightened of rodents, I'm terrifled
ofsnakes, anyrhing close to the ground, I don't wanr them nelr me.
So that's the cnd of it!
ALAN. (/} Veronica.) And you, why didni you go out and look
tbr it?
VF-RONICA. Because I had no idea what had happencd! Michael
didnt tell us, mc and rhc children' thar thc hamster had escaped'
till the fbllowing morning. I wenr out imrnediarell', immediarell', I
walked around ihe block, I even went down to the basement'
MICHAEL. Veronica, I f-rnd it intolerable to be on trial all of a
sudden for this hamstcr saga that you'vc seen fit to reveal' ltt a pcr-
sonal matter which is nobody else! business but ours and which
has nothing rt-r do with rhe present situation! And I find it incom-
nrchcnsible- ro bc callcJ a killcr! ln my own homc!
VERON t( .A. Vhar's your hom< got tcr 'lo with it?
MICHAI'IL. Mv home, the doors of which I havc opencd, rhc
doors of which I have opened wide in a spirit of reconciliation' to
people who ought to be grateful to me fbr it!
ilAN. t,'t wJnderful ,-h. *"y you kcep patting yourself on thc
back.
ANNt.T'l'ts. l)oni you tccl any guik?
MICHAEL. I fecl no guilt whatsocver. I've alwrys fbund th'rt crca-
rurc rtpulsivc. I'm ecstltie that it's gonc'
VF.R(iNlCA. Michacl, r hat's ridiculous. -l-hcir
MICHAL,L. Vhat! ridiculous? Have vou gonc c-razy es well?
son belts up Henrv, and I get shit on because ofa hamsrer?
VEI{ONl(.{. You behavcJvcrv bedh'u'ith thar htrmsrcr' you catit
denv ir.
MICHAbIL. Fuck thc hamsterl
VEIIONICA. You wort't bc able to sav rhat to your daughter this

2+
evenlng.
itaiCirigL. Bring her on! I'm not going to let myself be told how
to behave by some nine-year-old snot-nose'
ALAN. Hundred per cenr behind you there '
VERONICA. Pathetic.
MleHAEa. Carefirl, Veronica' you be carefrrl' lve been eirrremely
line'
;;;;J;t to now bur I'm rwo inches away from crossing drar
ANNETTE' And what about Henry?
MICHAEL. Vhat about Henry?
ANNETTE. Isnt he uPset?
iliC-HAEa. if you ,.-.-btt, Henryhas ot\rer problems'
VgnOflfCA. H.nry *"t less attached to Nibbles'
MICHAEL. StuPid name as welll
,t'r.rttigirg. itf'"u f.a no guilt, why do you expcct our son to feel
any?
Let me tell you something' I'm up t, here
with rhese
iiibu,qlr-. tulips' mv wife
ih-;;;J;.. V.,.i.d to be nicelwe bought
;*r',; ;;;ff ,t Iiberal, but I cani keep this bullshit uP,env more'
i "
il';;,',-;,';;;;, 'i f'ri'" 'oci'ry' Vha' I am and alwavs have
been, is a fucking Neanderthal'
A[AN. Arent we all? Neanderthals'
vilcjNiix. No. No' I'm sorry' we are not all {ircking
AIAN. Vell, not You, obviouslY'
-
VenONfCA' No, not me' thank God'
Mlai{AEi. Nor you, Darjee' not you' you re a fully
e"olved

wonlan' vou re stain- resisrant'

VEnONiCn. \Why are you attacking. mc?
thc oPPosrte'
M ICHAEI-. I'm not attacking you' Qutte
mc'. you.know you arc'
VERON lCA. Ycs, you're attacking
I
o',g"ni'ed rhis liitlc strindig' iust lcr mvself
be
rtl]ti,tii."v""
rccruired ...
VenoNrcn. You let yourself be recruited?
MICFIAL,L. Ycs'
VERONICA'- Thais detestable
ll]3[di N"i ar all' You stand up fbr civilization' that's com-
r)lcrelv to Your credit
"e-ltt1v'
'
iri
W'ib*ta;.' r'- sranding.up lor.civ.ilizationl Andbrink
tL do rh,rl 6hei on the
l":k;;;;; p.opt. *t.,o
""f"p"'!d
',r"rr"it.iv.t ,rir"d it\ btttt"idtt ro be a fucking Neanderrhal?
"
,(LAN. t:o-. on n.w' conle on ' '

)c6
VERONICA. (As aboue.) Is it normal to criticize someone for not
being a fucking Neanderthal? ...
ANNETTE. No onet saying rhat. No one's criticizing you.
VERONICA. Yes, they arel ... (She bursts into tears.)
A[AN. No, they're not!
VERONICA. Vhat wcre we supposed to do? Sue you? Not speak
to one another and try to slaughter each other with insurance claims?
MICFIAEL. Stop it, Ronnie...
VERONICA. Stop what?! . ..
MICHAEL. Youre blowing things out of proportion ".
VERONICA. I dont give a shit! You force yourself to rise above
petry-mindedness .. . and you finish up humiliated and completely
on you, o*tt ... (Akni cell pbone has uibrarcd.)
et-tN. ... Yes ... Let them prove it! ... Prove it ..- but ifyou ask
me, don't answer at all .. .
MICHAEL. Ve're always on our own! Everywhere! 'Vho wants a
little runr?
AIAN. ... Murray, I'm in a mecting, I'll call you back from thc
ofnce .. . (He cux the line.)
VERONICA. So, you sce! I'm living with someone who's totally
negative.
ALAN. \flhot negative?
MICHAEL. I am.
VERONICA. -fhis was the worst idea! \?e should ncver have
arranged this mee ring!
MICHAEL. I told you.
VERONICA. You told me?
MICHAEL. Yes.
VERONICA. You told me you didn't want to have this meeting?!
MICIHAEI-. I didnt think it was a good idea.
ANNETTE. It was a good idea . ..
MICFIAEL. Oh, please I . .. (He raises the bottle of rutn'l Arybody?
VERONICA. You rold mc it wasn't a good idca, Michael?!
MICI-IAFIL. 'fhink so.
VERONIC{ You think so!
RLAN. \Xzouldn't mind a little drop.
ANNETI'E. Didn t you havc ro go?
AIAN. I could manage a small gliss. now that we've come rhis fir'
(Michael pours a glass litr Akn.)
VERONICA. You look me in the eye and tell nte we wcrctt't itt

t1
L(ltllDl\'t( .lgrt(lllelll .tlrtlut this'
ix il i r r E. (-.tlnt Jorr tr' \ cr.tric't. ertlm "lttr'n' rhis is poirrrlc'sthi'"'
iiirrrcjN r,;,1. Who sroppcJ ;rnr"tt< rurt..hirtg tlrc.cl'rf.'trti
,r.r,,t"itl*, \\'ho said. lctis'kttl' rhc rctr t'f thc ..l'rfbtrri
lirr thc
R.rlcighs?l \\'ho saicl ir? !

At-AN. 'l hlt u'l: tticc.

\11(lHAt.l-. \\'h.rt's rh:rt qor t() do \\'ith iti irl
Vi frijNii.f. Whlt do t-.,u ,tt.',,,' shat's th'tt got. to tlo sirh
\ll( H.\l I . ll'r,,tr irrviic l)(()l)le \('u irrlirc pe.'1'l':'
Vl.lt()\l(..\' \i,ur. .t li'tt rt'rtt< r li'rli Ile ' r Ii'rLi
i-,lS- fi,u knou. sPc.tkinla PCr\('rrJll\' nrr itc lr'rJ r.' ..lr'tq tnc
,.f .s
il. r,, .' f.i'ft." t"lirc [,rt',tlghr ttp s'itlt 't kirlJ "t.l..'hn
\'n nc-i'h iclc'r
,.riririlin. r',,u d,,ll\ ,,.,i.tt tt' t"ttl" tliis kind ol prolrlctrt litlr
tr lot

.,1-'.rkLinr,. t.\ I i tl t,ttl latllti. )

A\\l'I il.. I tlrottqht \i)rrl rrI('Jtl\\ir\ \l)'rrt't'u\'
,\1..-\\. Slnrc trrnlilr'.
\11(.l lAt:l . AI).rl()s()Lrs.
An.rlog,,ur! Arc thcrc tr. lcttgths 'o!l \\'(). t
g() I() t()
f;irifilNft:4.
htrnr ili.tte r'r.,ur'rcll' \ lich'rcl:
iN S t,'t-'t'tr. ()bvioLrslv it rva' ;"'i rr tlc" Jr'rggr rr g -hirrr hcr..' rts ir
Al.AN. \\'h:rr \\'crc \'ott lroltirrq fi'r' \\ix'l rr.'ot: lr\ tru('
1r.,,.1i.r,r,,, nicknantc V'." ir"ping litr 'r qlint;)'c ttl tttrir'..rsll
"t'u
It.rt ttrottr : flri* rrrrll ir rt r rilit '
ilil-iiil,L. lr is, isrit it: t-nglish Hrrbor' tc* r'cirrs olcl' c{ircct
ll-om ArrrigLr.l.
i';ii()Niii. An,.l rhc tttliPs, rrh.sc i''lca *as th'rti I''ri'l its a
.fr.,.r. ,ft. tttlilrs et'. iini,hctl' I diJlit srrr tttsh clorvtl t() Iht K(tIcJrr
tlcli .rr rhc .r'il!k of-dJ\\'n'
,.NX f . f f n. [)orr't rrrrrk r'ot'tlsclf' rtf irtto rltis sl'ltc'
\t'roniril' lt s
fl'lll\" .l-hc
f;i,fitlXf c-f. tLrlip' ucre his i..lc'rl F.rrrirclv his itlc'il Alcrtt rte
,tllou c.l .t,-lrirlk?
.AXXf. f fl-. \!s, \ironica 'tntl I rr't'Lrltl likc t'ttt
roo []r tltc rvrtr'
it. prcttr .ttrttt.itttl' \()lllc()llc rlc5!(ll(lcd fultll 511'ttt't'ttt 'lId ]t'ltrl
\\.,r,t. rilt,, L.tr)t \'\'LIt Pt'k ttl' t nlott'.'
liitiH rf L. \\'ill rotr Stll'l'L. l''rbt'trt tl)rt h'tttr'tctl\ltrrt trPl
,llt ,,tLi; .ltt,ttrIt ! 1l,t:' tl trrt'r'
f i,Hr r: lt ..\' Il.r' lrrri \i'ttlc rtsltt rt ' l'rrr-ll rlricl
.\\\l l.i I . \\ h,ir .rl,,,rrr lr..r:
\11('lI \1 1.. I .lorit think \i1t tre(J\ 'rn\'

3o
\ F-R()Nl(lA. (iivc nrc e drink, '\tich.rel.
\ll(lHAHL. No.
VER()NI(lA. \ I ich.rcil
\ll(-l'tAL.t-. No. (Ii'rzrri,,r tfiti to ttt,ttt/t r/'t botrh ott o.l /'is lurtds'
,\litlul roi:r. )

A;\-N til-t'E.. \\'hats rhc nrrtrrer rvirh voLr. Nlichecl?l

\ll(lH,\t t . ,\ll light' thcrc \rrrr irrc' takc it. [)rink, drink, rvhtr
!.rIcs:
.\\\l: I ll. I..ili,,lr,,l h.rJ lor rottl
Vt-.RONl(l-\. Its urrndcrtttl. (Slu' ;lutnps. )
.\I-AN. Right ... $i/cll' l ..lon'I knorr' ...
Vl-l{ONl(lA. ( !i .lhn.t... [.istct.t, i\'lr. llelcicl'] "'
.\N N t: l.'l E. Al.rn.
VL-l{ONt(1.\. AI.ttr. rvc'rc I'l()t e)iactl\.soulrttatcs' r'ou irnd nre' but'
r',rLr rcc, I livc riirh I tttatt.tho's.lccidcd, t'ttcc utttl
fbr ell' thet life
is sc.,,rrJ.r.ttc. Irt verr .'lilii.ulr litirru rvirlr I Itt'ttr rt'ltt' Lonrtiltt\
hinrsclt rvirh thllt rhougllr' u'ho Jocsnt rr'rtrt 'trrytltiug ro ehange'
\\'h() ciln t ,r.,rk ttp arlv crtrhu,iasul alrout 'tnvthittg '
\ll(lHi\ .. llc .l.rcsni givc a shit Hc docstr't givc I shit about
anv of t hlt.
itr.trtlNtc:.t. \bLr h.lc ro lrclio'c ... r'ott hl'c to belitve in thc
,r,,.,'ibilirv'l itttnr,lctttctrr. Jottt roul
\iri.Hier.. Fl.l' tlr. l.r"t p.,'.,lt "'u 'b'rLrlJ bc tclling' 'tll thi''
i'irfft.lXf C:.1. l'll r.rlk ro.th.'.t'.''l godd'rnrn rvell ltletset' (Tlr tele'
/,1'un, urt{t )

'irir.irii,r.. \\ hrr rhe tuck is rhis no*? " Yes' N{onr " He's tinc'
L",1 h., titrc, hc's lost his tccrh, but hc's fin': " \cs' hc's in pain'
if"i, in p"in bur ir'll ir.rss. Ilorn, lnr busv' l'll cell votr brck'
.\N\1.I fl . Hc' 'till in P.rini
VF.R()NI(1.\.-l'hcn
No.
,\NN tr'l"f I1. u hv srrttl yrur mothcr?
tlt.nON tC,r. H" ."n'r h"lp liimself Hc alrvavs hls to rvorrv hcr'
riic.iruf-. Right' rhat s cnough, \icronicr! \flhat is rvirh this
psvchodrlmei
Ai-AN. \'cr,rnice. irre \\'c cvcr intcrcsted in auything but ourtelves?
()f'.,,u.r. ivc,.l .rll like to bclio'c in thc possibilitv of inlprote'nent'
t)t u hich rve c,ruld bc the lrchitcct end rvhich rvor'rld bc in no wirv
,.it'-r. rrlin g,. [)ocs sttch l rhinq crt'ri lrr lilc' torrrc,pcoplc drag their-
t..", i,, ,liir rrr,ltegr'. utlterr',etilsc t() 'lLkn!'wlcdgL- tlrc passing of
,iut.. .,n.t .lri.c rltcnr',eh'cs dcntcntcd' *hat ditlircncc tl.es ir

7l
nrakc? l)coplc \rrutglc Llntil rh' r'j< dcal FlJu..'rtion' tltc nliserics
tri
,n. *.rf J l. . You'r'.:,vriting a book ebout Darfirr' fiic' I ctrn uude r-
stentl 1'ou sal itrg to t.ru.ri'lt, ()K, lin going to cltoost'.a lmssae rc'
.tirr, it. d.i., hir.ory consist ot' ancl lin going to u'ritc aborrt it
You do ivh,rr \1)u cJn to slYc rrrursclf'
iieniislca. I'm not rvriring rhc book to s^e \iru hirvc''t
'rvtclt'
rc.rd it, r'ou don't knorv u'hat ir's about'
Al.Ar.v. lt makcs no diffcrence. (.Paasr.)
'lerriblc stink of Kouros! '
VL.RONICA.
MICHAEI-. lirriblc.
AI.AN. \irtr ccrrainlt'laid it on'
AN N F.l' I 1.. l'rn sorrr'.
Vl-nljNrc:,t. Nor your tault l nas rhc on..' sptaving like rr lunatrc
rvhv dtlcs c'err'
. inr*.,r', trht .r,ii rve tlkc things mt're Iighrlv'
thi,t,r altr'.ti, hlvc t., tre s'r <xlrlttrtitrg? "
iii\. 1"" rhink roo rntrLh W()m(rr tlrirtk t'u' nrtt..h
-l'hcrc!
Ai.f NE f f E. rn orig'inrl renrark' I bet thrrt's thrt'rvn t'ou
tirr .t ltroP 'l-hink roo much, l tlon'r kuorv rthat thar ntcttns'
Vi ntlNitc,q..
il'i-il;;. .h. pnin' .icxistcucc without s"nre kind oi nroral
Lonc(nti(rn .ti rlt. tr t'rltl'
Nll(-HAFI . Scc rvltlt I hrrc t'r lii< ivith:l
ii,[iii.,fiE,r shur up! Will I'ou shttt up! I detcst this Pathetic
comolicitvl \br'r Jitgtrsr mc'
l\llLHAt.L. ( rrrrri'on, h'rre 't "tts.. ol'lrttnrrrr'
VfffiiSfC,f. l..iont hat'c 5cnsc oihurnor And I hle tto itttctt-
'r
ril.rn .ri.t..-lt tit
'N;Ciil]i. int otrc.
\ih"t [ .,1*"t' sa' is' m'rrrirge: rhc I'.st tcrriblc
ordcal C,rd cen inflict orl vou'
ANNll'l-'fE. C]re.rt'
N{lCFtAEL. Nlarrirgc' and childrcn'
lNNef lfr. Thcrc's-'no nccd for Iott to sh'rtc vour vicss sirh us'

rtif.ft".i. A, . ,t,",,., of t:rct' I tinj it sliqhtlv indcccnt'

'l'har's not goinu to $orrY him'
f,t..RtlNtC-A.
NllCHAtll . \btl trteatl rott tlort t 't3rcc?
ANNt-'l"l F.. Thcsc otrservetion' 'rrc bc'idc thc Pt'lnt
Alln' slt\'

\()ll]ctl] illu.
Al.AN. H.s ctttitlctl t" his opini.'rr''
ANNIIT'l L. \c'. btrt lre Jt'c'trt htrc lo l)r()Jd''l\l Ilrctlr'
Al.AN. Uill. r t.'' PcrhrP'

?a*
 lVe're
ANNE l"l'l'.. \t doni qive I dirmtr ,rhottt tlreir nrarriage'
hcre ro sertle,t l,roblcrtt ro do u'ith our children, u'e rlon'r give a
damn ebottt thcir mlrriagc.
Al.AN. \cs, btrr .. .
ANNI',]'TE. llur s'hrrl Whet do l'ort ntellt?
A[.AN. l-hcrc's a collrlcctiorl.
\{l(lHA[L. l'hcrc's lt c()nr]c(tiorl! ()icoursc rhcrci a couuecrionl
VFll()Nl(-A. 'l'hcrcs.t eontlcctiott bcnvectr Hetrrv hling his
reeth blttkctr ,rttd our m.trriagc?!
\ll(lt lAt-1.. ( )b''i,ruslr'.
ANNII l"l t.. \\i d,rrit gcr it-
\ll(lFl.\EL. (lhildrcn .'.,,t"u,t,. our livcs ltrd thcn \N'hen 'lc'rrov
thcrn'
(lhildlcn .lr.tg rtt tttrr.itds .lis,rsrcll it's utrlrridable vou scc
Lh,,rc lrughirig cottples c.lsting ofi into rhc sca of tltltrinron\'' tou
,", ,,, ,,tr.,r.ali rlrei helc tr,t icle'r, poor rhinqt' .tlrel ittst hl'e no
id.'.r, tlrcv lc lr:tppr" N,l otrc tcll' rott 'ltlvthinq rrllcrr t'ott -st'Irt
out'
i tt.,r. ,,,r olJ ,,'irr,,,l bucldr r"lrt''s jttsr rboLtr to hrlvc I chilJ rvirh
hi' rr.rr girltricrrJ. I..riJ tr, lrirrt. .r .ltild 'rt ()r'rr 'r!l( 'trc\(rr'r irr''Jllci
:ith.
,.n ,,, n'cl'c q,r,>.I 'cars *c h't'c lefi befbrc cilllcer ()r a strokc'
.lI](l \r'll t( -t,;rlg l,' \.1(\\ \ttrlr\(ll rllr \\ illl '']tllc br'lti
.\\\l I li. \irrr .lt,rtt rcrlh I'cli.t' \\lr'tl \('Llrc \'l\ lIr$"
YF.li( )\ 1.\. Ilc,.l,rcs.
l(
\11(.H,\llt . ()t coutsc I lrclicic ir' \\irrs'" clcn'
VLli()\il(l.'\. \is.
ANNI: I It.. \i,r-ilc dcnrtlltirtg tttr'trtclt' \ li.h.rcl.
\11(ltl.\l:1.. l, rh,ir risht: Ha. h'rl
ANNF l l L.-. StoP.rYinu, \lcr()l)ir.l. \'()tr c.rll scc it otrlv cl)c()ttritges
irinr.
liii-ff.rfrf . r lrt A!,tn. u'l'o\ r,'filLtp- /'is t'tttpr.v gl'tss )Hclpr 1'ourself'
lrclp r'trr'tll 'r\'<l'tror)Jl' i'lr'l iri
.\l \N. [.\L(ptr()n.rl.
\ll( l l.\l.t . (.,rtrl,l I ,rller vott 'r ciq'rri
Vt.li()Nl( -A. No. tro cigrrsl
,'\l.AN. lbo [ra.l.
f(:t t tf . \i,tt re ttot ittrtrtJttttl to \nt(rkc 'r 'ig'rr' \J'rrri
ri .rN. t tt .l.r rvh.tt I like' Annttic' il I licl likc 'rcecptirrg rvltrt 'r cigar'
llll .r.,-.ur.r.iuar' ll'Ittl ttot tttl"kittq' it' bct'tusc I tlt'tit t'r
,,t,,., \'1,,,,ti.". rrlr.i, rllrc.rJr \('nll)lcrcl\ l'rtt it Slrc's riqlrt' stoP
(()
.tiit.fi',.:. t*1t.,t ., rt,,,tt.,,, .t'i.""t 'ti'" i" irrl ItrcJ i'rtclr l)1.\okrJ
;ir.',;;;:; .r,.",,.'. AJ.l.d ttr which' Nlichacl's point ol'r'ie* is' lin

3Z
sorrv ro iJ\', entircli'sound. (His rcll phone brates') Yes, Scrge
. . . Go ah.ad .. . Pur New York, thc dare . ' and the
exact timc " '
ANNETI'E.. 'l'his is obscene!
ALAN. (,I'lalirrg ,tsith tnd nulfling ltis t'rtitt ru ts'''rpt l'1 ltlt) " '
Vhatcvcr tint. n)ou serrd it. [t h,it t.' l.'ok piping-hor ticsh ouroithc
ovcn ... No, ,tot *.'r. rurprired. V/c condcnrn Surpriscd is fecble '
'l
ANNI'.T1-L-. his goes on tioll Inorning ro nighr'.lionl nrornittg
'fhat cell phonc nrakcs tuitrcentcrtt
ro night hc'-s glued io thirt cell!
of our livcs!
AI-AN. Er ... Just a tlitrure .. (Ht cttutr: tlr ttltpborc') Annetre '
(hi5 i\ \(Ir irttPort.trtt! ..
ANlr-l.,'f if.. Ir's alrvlvs vcrt irttPttrt'rttt' Arlvrhing hlppeninu
'...lltt'rc
5tlntc\\'h(r( els. i', llrr.tr''
(lo
itnport'tnt
A-iAn. (Rtsurtit4.) eht''rd " \cs ' Nor Proccdure'
Mrn"ut'ar. A ,rtan".,."a, rinrcd tirr tr''o s'ccks bctbr'i the ttrlnuel
.tec()ul1ts, ctc. .. .
fNNl.f'fg. ltr thc srrcct' lr Jinncr' he docst.t'r clre rvhcrc "'
ALAN. ... A pepcr in cluotesl [)ut the ri'r-rrd papct in qtxrtes '
tl,rr,,l
iNNl-'r rg. i eit'. uP s.''r'e"dcr' I '.:tttt to thr,w u;r 'ru'ritr'
\ll(.H.\tl . \ h.rcr rh' Ji'hp'rn-:
Vt--RC)NlCA. I .lon't knou
jtrsr hilvc ro qu()tc Inc: "'l his is sinrplv a
A;N- ... \iru ''lisgr'rcctirl
.Lrrcnlnl l() ntlttlil,ul.lrc 'h.lr( Pri'(5 '
r;lntl\t,..\. ltlrcr. ir i,. Plc'rsc htll' v"'rr"ll'
l\tl(lHAt'.1-. Ronnie.
i ttttlXt,..\. lir.rvthirrs' 'rll righr' \\irc lirllt cqrripp<J'
,f lrfN.
- ... Sh.rrc pricci 'rtrd t'i undcrnrinc nr\' !liclrt"' c()rrtirms
^ff"f"igfr
firr the \/crcnz- lth'rrntir cottlltltrr ' ' - AP'
,li.tt ' h.,rd .l,.,lt"l (H"
ii.,t,.tt, .-.:*.f prcss' mcdicll prcss' tlle rvhole ninc verds "
Vl- iioi{l('.{. \hr" w.tnrr I') thrr)\\ rrp 'rg''tin'
AI-AN. VhLris thc rll.rtler uith volt?
ANNF-'fl'h.. I'nr touehcd Lrt t'trur eott(.crn'
ALAN. l t's ttpscttine
'l
nrc!
AN-Nl'f-f fr. sl,tl' I nrrtst have rrrisuntlcrstoocl
",,t
,qLiN. c)h' Anrtctte. 1'lcasel l'tt's not tl5 \tlrt norv! Jt>c"u't Jusr bccaLtse
,1l*i.. tlgta,i"S' jt'sr btcetrse rhcir rlerriagc ir fu'kcrl'
nrc'ttt

rvc lt.tvc to ..ttrlltcrcl

()ur mllrrlllqc ls
VHR()Nl('A. \X'h.rr righr J' r"rr hivc t() sil\'
(ALui; rcll pllottt ribr'un. )
ILrikctl: Vho gar'c \'(ttl pcrtllisriotti

?r(
ALAN. ... They iust rcad it to mc. Ve'rcsending it toyou, Murray
... Menipulation, manipulate share prices. lt's on i:sway. (He bangs
lrp.,) ... Vasnt mc who said it, ir was Frank.
VERONI(lA. Michael.
ALAN. Michecl, sorrr'.
VERONICA. I fbrbid you to stand in anv kind of iudgment over
our relationship.
AIAN. Then don't stan,l in iudgnrcnr ove r my son'
VtRONICA. 'l-har's got norhing to do with it! Your son injured
ours!
ALAN. 'fhe,v'rc voung, rhcv're kids' kids havc.always given each

orher a good beaiing duri"g recess. It's a law of life'

VER()NtCA. No' no, ir isn'tl
AIAN. Of coursc it is. You have to go rhrough a kind of appren-
ticeship be fbre violencc gives wal ro rvhat's right' Originallv'
let me
rcmind vou, mighr wat righr.
VERONICA. i'trsriblv in-prehistoric tinres' Not in our society'
Al.AN. ()ur :ocicn i F.xphin our soticrt'
VERONI(IA. You're exhausting tne' thcse conversations are
exh.rurting.
iinN. li" scc, \t'ro.ic.r, I helicve in rhe god of carnage' He has
,ut.J, unin,.tr"ptc.1ly,' sincc thc dawn of timc' You re interested in
Rfrt.,r, ,'oua . (To A,, te, u)lto retches') Feeling 6ad?
"r.ui
ANNETI'F.. Don't worrY abour mc'
AI-AN. I .rm rvorricd.
ANNL,TTE' Evervthing's fine'
Congo' Over
,filN. ,1. " n,rtt", of f"*ct, I just came back fiom the old'
,ftT..,'ir,,i. U.t. are taught to kill when theyie eight years wirh
nrrl"- ,it.r, .irldhooJ' ihcv nr'ry kill hunJrc'is oi peoplc' a

;;:il.?.. ;i;; , irl",h' *i'h '' 'i'un'p gun' s' vou ll. unde^tand
;h. ';i';tt ,.tt" ,,,n pl.k. up a banrboti 'od' hitt his.I'nlplal'mate
likely to
and
b.e,rks a r.ror-h' or cvcn two, in Cobblc Hill
Perk' be

lcss susccptible thirn you arc to horror and

indignation'
VERON ICA. \bu're rvrong'
ANNEITL. (,\Iocking )A thunrp sun! "' .
aLiX-. r*, th.ris o'hit thcv call 'r grenade launchcr' (Annette spirs
in the btsit. )
\ll(lHAFl. Ar. r'ou all righr:
ANNE fI'L-. ... Perfccrli"
AI-AN. What's rhe martcr rvith I'ou? Wheis rhe martcr wirh
he r?

v{
ANNE'tl'8. lt\ just bile! lt's norhingl
VERON I(lA. Dotr't lccturc mc about Alrica. I know all abor.rt
Africa'-s nlrtyrdom, I'vc bccn sttepcd in it firr rnonths ...
ALAN-. I doni doubt it. Anyriel-, rhe l(lC has alrea.lv conductcd
an inquirl' on [)arfur.
VERONICA. \bu think I dont know ebout th.rt?
NII(IHAEL. Doni gcr hcr startcd on tharl For (lod's stket (\brouita
t/trou,s lrrselJ dt her husb,tnd and hix hin su'en tinus, tui t an
unco,trolhl d inutiotul dsperation. Ahn pulls lrr alJ'him )
ALAN. \btr knorv what, Iitr starting to likc vou!
VERONICA. \i''ell, I doni like vou!
N{lCHAtll-. She's a supporter of peace ,rnd stabiliq' in the urrrld-
VERONtCA. Shut trpl Wc're living in Aneric:r. V/e're not living-
in Kinshrsa! Wcie living in Amcrica accordiug to thc principlcs of
'Wesrern society. Vhar goes on in Cobble t{ill Park ref.lects the val-
ues of Wcstern socierr'! C)f rvhich, if iis all thc sanrc to l'ou, I am
h.rppv r., bc a mcttthcr.
lfii-Hel.L.. Beating up on Iour husband is olte of those grrtncr-
plcs, is it?
Vp.Rt lt'ttcR.
Michacl. this is going ro cn,l batllr.
AI.AN. She thre*'hersclf on vou in such a f renzv' If Iwerevou Id
bc flattered.
VF.RONI(lA. I'll do ir ag.rin irt.r rninutc
ANNE fTE. Hc! making fun oivou, do vou realize rhat?
VERONICA. I don't give a shit.
A[AN. l'm not making fun. Otr the conrrarl" Moralit,v decrces rue
should conrrol our impulscs, but sometimcs it's good not to con-
trol thenr. Ytru don't want to be singing zfu'r Marit whel' you'rc
fucking. Vhcre can vou flnd rhis runr?
MICHAEL. That vinrage, I doubt you can'
ANNETI'L.. ThumP gunl Ha, hel .. '
VERONICA. (Snni -fmne ) Thtmp gun, you'rc righrl
ALAN. l'hrrt's righr. humP gun.
ANNETTE. W[y,lon\ Iou iusr :a;' grcn'rdc huneher?
AIAN. Because thump gun is correct' lt's like you say Kalesh
instead of Kalashnikov.
ANNET'| F-. Vho's this "You"?
AIAN. Thais enough, Annette. That's cnough'
ANNETTE. The warriors, likc nry husband, you have to
g-rear
give thcnrcome l.enia* rhcy have trouble working up an interesr in

36
loc,rl cvents.
AI AN. 'liue.
Vt.R()NICA. I don't see s hr'. I doni sec rvhy. We're citizens oithc
rvorld. I don'r scc wht'uc should give up the strugglc jttst because
it's in our own l,ackyard.
NltCHAEt.. ()h, Ronnie! I)o stop shoving thcsc thoughts for the
rl,l' down our rhroat,
VERON tCA. l'm going to kill him. lALuis cell pltoue ltas uibrated.)
AL.AN. ... \ts, all righr, r.rkc out regrcttablc . . Crude. A crude
attempt to ... fhar'r it '..
VL,RONI(lA. \bu'rc right, this is cxcruciating!
ALAN-. ... ()rherrvise he approvcs thc rest? ... -l-hump Fine' finc. Very
goo,J. ( Ht hangs up. ) . . . \X'het rverc we saving? . . . gun?
VgnONtt:R. I rvas saying, whcthcr nrv husband likes it or not,
thar no one placc is morc intportant than atlother whcn it comes
to cxercisit.tg vigilance.
AL{N. Viiih;ce ... wcll ... Anncrte' iis ridiculous ro drink' the
statc vou re lll.
ANNF.'fl'E. Whar starc? On the contrerv.
ALAN. Vigilance, it! an inreresting idca-.'. (Hr cell pltone) Yes,
no, no inreiviervs bcfirre the circulation of the press rclease'
'fhar's ir, I insist you break off this horrendous con-
VF.RONICA.
versationl
AI-AN. . . . Absolutely not . . . the shareholders won't give a.fuck ' ' '
renrind him, the shercholder is king ... (Annene launches herself nt
ALtn, sn'ttt'/.tes tlte czll phone anrl' ,1fier a brieJ'louk drouud to see tuhere
she atn put it, shot'es'it into the udse oftulips') Annette, what
the"'l
ANNEI'TE. So therc.
VtrR()NlCA. Ha, hal Vell donc!
MICHAEL. (Horriftd.) t)h' my (iodl
AIAN. Are you completely insine? Fuckl!! (He rushes touards the
uase, but llliiael, who'bas got in altedd of him, fshes out the driPping
objrtt. )
ttitCH,{el. The hair tlrt'e rl Wheret rhc hair dryer? (He f nds rt
,tnd rurtts it on ,tt ort,'t' lirecring it towtrds the cell phone )
ALAN. You need to be lockcd up' you Poor thing! This is incom-
prehensiblcl .. . I had everything in therel " lt's brand new it took
me hours to set uP!
MICHAEL. ('lb'Annexe: aboue'I'hat tbe infernal din oJ'tbe hair dryer')
Really, I doni utrdcrstand you. was completely irresponsible'

7T
ALAN. F-r'crvthing's in thcre' mv rvhole life ' '

AN N L.TTF.. Hir rvhole ' lifc!

N;rcHAEi. 1stitt 1;gttt;rg rhe noise )Hang on' r'r'c might be able
to t'rx ir...
ALAN.
'rnlf
ljorqet it! lr's fueke'll '
CHnl.f,."W.'[l t.rke our rhe battery and the SIN{ card
Can vou

oocn irl (Al,ttt rries to opt'u ir u'ifi uo nnui''tiou')

nUN. t dorir klrow how' I just gor rr'
MICHAEL. Givc it ro me'
,iilN.'l; f".f..a ..' And thev think it\ funnv' thc'v thi.k it's
funnv! ...
(optning it easil|') There we ,"e; (He gtes batk o'
the
iilttH^it-.
'),iii^irr)iiti,t'[ lt,,iidry", itving hid out th unrious pnrt: ) You"

fl;i.r, r."t, t'i"ra h"ut ih' mrnncrs nor to laugh rr rhisl

;;;-;,"iir"gt'i'l
i"iRijnia; n*",/1') Nlv husband rvill have spent his
entire aftcrnoon blow-drYingl lttr-
;ijl..f ;iiE. l{a, ha, hal (lize tte ntakes no bones about .helping
'))ti')")"* ,,ir,. ltlithael, inrnune to Jinding nn.v oJ rlti,s aytusirtg
'[!"ii bo"'i"o'""t' tlierz'; only thr soutd
tir*", rr,,r),'),")"g'i'*'"'tJ'
,,,t ',h" t,ii, 'i;
dmrr. Ahn has 'lunPed )
Krri'ni-"i.i". P'i it'"! ldryer')
hcre's nt'thirrg 1ou ean Jo'
it'
iUi;t,url 1,,',t17 suiihes ofl'rhe
htir
iJiCuatL. (xi.'ll h,ut it *"it a minute " (/'rrrsr') You want to
rr.-."t pi".", lAlon r"'u"' that he doesn't nnd that he nuldn't
t'are

) I have to sav "'

/rss.
to say' Michacl?
;NfiEi:'lE i;s' whar is it vou have what ro sav' -
liii H,trtr-. No .. I really can't t'"ryon..!
think -'
fi'cling, tinc' li vou ask
ii';u;:fT"E. v.ti, ittv"t' '''k "'t' trtrt'' mttch 'llnrcr'
,".. .t-.ty"".t tctling btttt' (Ptuse') ' l'ivcrl
Mcn are .'o we..lJctl ro thcir galg'cts "
k,hclirtlcs
Jonl vou rhilrki
A ni"n nttds totecp his
in."r'.1. rt',"i..",*.ry 'rll rhcir aurhorin
ililt i;; .. . ii,"t" mc' Everr an attachi casc is cnough to put
"rt I fbund realll' attractive' then I slrv
rne oft. Therc was a nlan' once'
'ilt" ttd;;;";; a m'rn's shouldcr-b'r5' bur rh'rt rvas
'rt"trtt"t-t',.g' bag' Although
t,.'ii;i;;,-lhi"g *'o"t th"'t 'houl'ier ltu::-11:
A man ought lo gl\c.thc rnlprcs-
,r,,,trinn t""rr" thi,r,t etll plrone
li ""1 n'.. l *e..''' rh'ri he!vrrilin'
" i"" eap'rble ol'
'':li'lit,,';:'i'"i;^'
t.it"'rf"". ..: I el'o h'rvt " J"hn.t'ui.,e V"rrt-i'h idc'r ..ri' An'l
fbr crcating a vacuu.r " 'A
*ili.,il'in" r'"Jj n c"rt '45' a
has IIo tcxture "'
*ft" l"* gite thc impressitln thlt he's a loner
"*t
?8
So, i\{ichacl, lrc vou heppv? It is somewhat liacrured, our lirrle ...
\(har rva*s it vou said? ... I'r'c fbrgotten the word ... but in rhe end
.. . . . ii 1,ou ask nre.
. elcrvonc s li'cling morc or less all righr
N'll(lHAEI-. I should probably wrrn t'ou, runr drives you crirzy.
ANNEl'Tt-. I'r'e ncver fclt nr.rrc nornral.
MIOHA!.t.. ltight.
ANN-F-'l-l'tr. Iin stlrting ro ti'cl r,rrher plc:rsentlv sercnc.
VER()Nl(.A. Ha, hal -l'har's rvondcrfirll ... Rarhcr pleasantly
5(-rclle.
N{l(lHAlll-. As firr vou, l)rtLiecling, I rlon't scc rvhrt\ ro bc gained
bv qctting publiclv snrashcd.
Vh.R()i'r-l(-A. Kiss rry a,s. (Mi,ltttl goes n fn'b tfu tigar box.)
\,llCHAt-l . -lrrke onc. Alan. I{clax.
VIIR()NlCA. Ciqars irrc Irot smokcd in this housel
-l
N{l(-FlAl-.1.. h,isc rrc Cuban, Cohitra, itlontc (-risro number
thrcc ,tnd number tour.
Vl:R()NlCA. \bu don\ snrokc itt a housc rvith.rn asthnuric child!
.{,N N t;l lF.. \\'h,i:.r.'thm.rtie?
\/L.l()Nl(1,{. ()u r son.
l\11(ltlAt--1.. t)idni srop vou buvinq a fircking hanrstcr.
ANN|'l l't-. lr's truc. ii st,ntcb.tdt' has lsrhltra, kccping anim s
isn r rcconr nrc ltcicd.
jUItlHAl:L. (}rrnplctelv ultrccorllnrcndcdl
AN N t;f'l'F-. Even a goldfish cirn bc riskr'.
\/L.R()NICA. l)u I havc to listctr ro this tatuous rlonsensc? (S/tr
,ttnclu's t/u'r'ietr bos utrt of'.\!iclt'rc|'s lt,rnds aud shns it sltut brunlll.)
I nr s,rrrt. trtt .lortbt ['rtt thc onlv onc of Lts not fecling rarthcr Pleas-
rnrlv scrcttc. In tlcr, I've tro'cr bcctt so unhirppr'. I rhink this is the
unhlppicst .l.l' .',i mv lif.'.
l\ I l( lt L\ill-. L)ri rr kin g alrr',tvs ttt,rkes votl tlnhlpp\'.
YF.R()Nl(lA. \lichrel, cvcr\ \\'or(l thr( Lorlrcs or.lt (ri\'()ur n)outh
is dcstror ins me. I doni drink. I ,lrank .l rnourhtirl of rhis shitry
nnn vorirc rr'.tvittq .rbottt as ii lrru rvcrc shou'itlg rhe Longrcg.ttion
rh. Sir,,,,.l of-liriirr, I dt.rn\ drink entl I tritrerlv regrct it, irH b€:r
rclicl-t,.r bc ablc to trke refirgc in I littlc Jr.,p .rt cverv nrinor serback'
ANN I l-1 [' \li hushund's unhapl.ty as ucll' I.ook et hirn'
Slurrrpctl. Hc looks rs iisomcoltc's lcfi hirrr trv the side of rhc roatl'
I thirrk ir\ thc utthappicst dav of his lile roo.
A[-AN. \ir.
ANNE I I'l:. l'nr so sorr\', \\(rotlu'oof. (,lIith,ul itdrts up tlv h.lir

71
lrver,rp,ritt, r!irtttitr,l ir ,tr tl', u,tri,'tr' lttrti uJ t/tc ttll pl'onr't
i i,nttif ,,\. \x iii 'otr rtrrrt c'll rhc hlo*-JLrcrl Th'rt thing i'
rorr'r. ( 1/', dq'ltt)u( ritt!' ) 'fhat Incrlic'rtion is
itttCU,AEI itr! B"."ui.'it could kill Ioul Poi-
it " (Ht lttrds tht tcrcit.r
;;;i .i..,n,.;;'t.l;;oi'g to cxpl:rin to rtrLt
n Altn. )'lcll hcr.
At.AN. 1.'ll hcr uhatl ..
iiii: H,lrtr . l'i'cr'thing '.tt kno* about that cr;rp r'..ru'r'c pcdtlli'q'
Al.AN. ... Horv lrc \'oll, l1l:l rr.l)' '
,lNXt-'f 'Lit. Vhat can hc tcll hcr: Hc 'locsn't ktr'lt rhe
first rhlng
lbour itl
()f'coursc tlt'll' thc opcr-
Ai.AN.' ... \ir '.. Antl tiocs it hurt? '
.r,i,," t-lfi i't rlr.rt..,,\nd rhc.rhtt lcg' I"-t
N"' no' ['trt not an
ortltotr(Ji. \urqc1)l) . . l'l'll J \lre kccI)' "tllttlrl lll\' Jtr\tr)l
fXXi.t tt . i1,,,.r,',' tlril i\ gr"r(\(ltr( h'rrtg rrpl artr'
.ii rx. tlu, r',rtt ... I tttc'ttt ti' "tt' ti"i" rl't h'ir ittg D'rn't1tr'ltlcttr., listc' rt'
;;;,i, t,,..'; i,.,i",'.., . ' ()h' n. Not 'rt 'rll Nor rr 'tll
iJcr,t" rt.p t'rk-
:r,r:',it;l;.,..'jii ,lt.,.,n,." itil pr.'h'rl'lv.b.J 'i.t1'x,'..l lt't''l I !ll'ltl\t ltt q't
irrr: ir l,,r rlr. tittte l'eittg rrril rlrrril
( r'rttr<
\is *.'ttrt'l r' il ri't'rc
ll ;'', i, ' t,.,r'it' ,i' t",'*tt "lt" Lrl)cr'rri')rr "
r .,rt
r'tl"/"uy'tir'rttl'"s rl't rct(ivtr liotrt I'itt
)

'l't.,,"-..,.;.f 'ft"r'.1... \t.rrn i' th rt

lit, ii ii: i'. .iii',i,,rt, rt.P r'rki's thc nteJi'''
'lr"tt
lt'tr''r t" 'ttgtre' \tuI t'lkills it ..1" rvir'rt
' '

t , . r r'"tl
. t,
t'.,.t ... l.t.'-.1 [r'c' Irrc li.'rrr rr" 'rll //'
, i, ,, , ft I

l:.,',i;.',i:u.'i"i..,it'r1.,,,
"tlrr'rrr
;r,,,., rr.;tn.' killinq rrrt'
()rtt ptitt irr thc tr'rll' rlt(r 'tt)(rtll(rl
..lc.'iJc'l: \lr'rll I ..t'rrr' I'rr'k
:i*li:'i rl"'Risr.' ,rL"' "l' rtNolr]'"tttlcscsccttts to ql\c 'l l.tts 'l\5 'Illr-
,hir.t.ni,t,l' sirir [3erri'rrrrinl
ri'r'
iiii:';ii ,il..'.,;''.'-t 'n""t'l p'rirtt.ttt tl''t'" *l''","'''.. lrcrc prn:
tr'tu'e'u' \'ltctcs tlrt
i;itfftlNf<:,f. N'lv l'nr stlrritrtl t'r tccl
r.\li,'1,,d t'rl;,, rJ', nrtu 'trrt ol Attttrtrt' rarttt't
l'ottl' nJ

N{l(-tiAF.l Ih,tr'scn'rush'
\\'r()'g\ (). tr.th sidcs' l'har's
i'Nirrr::lL. l,t "t' ntl,'ti' r'crc rtre
\Xir,ngt t'rt l)r'tlr 5iJ(''
it.
l(1,{. Ate yott
VF'.R()N sertorts:
ANNI:1 'l-1. Vh'rtr
Vh.R()N..l(lA. Arc t'ou lrvarc oiuhlt
votirc srtving?
.{NNt.TTl'. I inr' \cs' obligcd to gi'r: rrvtr
iliRi;N t(lf C)ur sotr Hctrrr" to wh()mtheI was
i";;;-.s,;";g,it T'le.ol lasr niglrt' is i.
*'ro.g?
ANNti f'lli. Hc's ttot tleccsslrill introccnt'

fto
VERC)NlCA. Fuck ofl I'r'c had quite enough ol tou. (Slrc grabs
Anrrttt's haulh,tg tnd hurls it tou',ucls tlte door. ) Fuck ofl
ANNEI'l't.. \{r'pursc! ... (1.ifu a linb 1irl.) Alen! ...
N'{ICHA}'.t-. \rVher's qoinrl on?'l'herrrc lost rhcir shir.
Al-Nt:1'l-H. ((itrlnringlp lrr n,11s1'v"r1 po:sr:tiort;.) Alan, hclp! ..'
VtrIi()Nl(lA. ".\lan, hcipl"
ANNEI ll:. Shur up! ... Shc'.' broktn ntv cotrrpaetl And nrv sprav
bortlcl f /i I t)cfind nrc' u'hv ltcni vttu clctc'nding urc? ' ' '
"l/,rrr.
Al.A,l-. \\t're soing. (l/r prq,dft's lo gttln'ul tlv ptts oJ his cell

VlrR()\l( .\. lt. tt,'t .ri il lin 'rr.rrrqlirrg lr.ri

.\\\F I I L. \\ lr.tr Ir.rrc I .l,rrt. t,'rott?
VIR()Nl(1.t. 'l'hcrc.irc n()t \\'rollgs ort both ti.les! Don\ nrix ttlt
rhc vietintr rttrcl rhc cxceltriollcrsl
ANNt.-l I l.-. [:.rcc Ltri,rrtcrsl
i\{l(l}lAl:l . \irLt'rc so tirll ol shir. \!'rouic't, :rll rhis sinrplistic
tr.rLrrtcr. rrc'tc Lrp ro ltcrc s ith ir!
Vi:l{(iNl(..\. I start,-l bv cvcrvthirttl l'r'c s.ti.l.
Ill(.t I,\llt-. \cr, tcs. r',tLt st.ln.l bl rlhlrt yt'tt'r'c t'tid' r-trt't stend lrl
rvlt.tt voLir',: s.titl. t',,ltr itt lrtttt,rr i,rn firr 'r lrunch tll Sttdetrcsc coolls
is blec.ling itrto *crlthirlg ttorr'
Vl-.1{()NIilA. l'nr .4rp.rllc.l. \\'hi .rrc rrrLt cltttt"itrg to shorv your-
sclt irr rhi' h,rrriblc light':
\11(.I-lAL.l . B..",,ri I tccl likc it. t li'':l likc shorving nrvscli in a
h, rriblc lislrr.
VL.l{t)Nla-.\. ()ne Jrrv \'()Ll lrl.t\ t'rtldcrtr'tttd thc cxtrcnre grlvitt
'

,rf rr6.tt s {t,itt{ trrt i,t rlt.,i p.rrt ,rf thc r"rrld a.d r'.dll Ltc as6ar'ctl
.rl tlrr. irr.llti.i .rnJ r,tttt rcPttl'irc rtihilitrn'
\11(lHAtrl-. \iru'ic iusr u'c,n.lertirl' [)aricclinq' torirc rhe besr of
u' alll
VF-lt()N l(1.\. I mr. \t-s.
ANNt-'fl'E. l-cr's gcr or:r,,iherc, '\llrr, thcse PcoPlc irc monstcrsl
(Sl,t'r!r,rirti /,r, !Ls, utul gott Io I'iik uP tl', bod,'.)
.\l .\\. r/)i'i',rrritryl'tt.t \top it' Atrtrcttc'
iNSr.- ''i 1.. N.,' I'.r,,,t, t,,.lrittk,."'tt ntttrc' I *'ir.r
f
to gct bombed
.rut oi mv rtrirtd. rhis bitch hullr m-\' Purss Jcross thc roclm alrd nrl
ottc blts,rtt cvc. I *'ant ro gel drunkl
A[-AN. \iru rlrcrdv arc.
ANNI--'l-Ttr. Whv arc vott lctting thcnr c'tll tlr sotr 'rtr .cxcc.utiotter?
\tru conre to rhcii housc to scrrt rltirrgs 'ttrJ vou get insulte'd and

,t(
bullicd and lecturcd on how to be a good cirizcn of rhe planet.
Our son rlid well to clout vours and I rvipc mv ass with l'our bill of
rights!
NilCHAi l.. A nrourhful of rum and [ram, the rcal flce appcars.
VI|RONICA. I told you! Diclnt I rell 1'ou?
At.AN. V h;rt JiJ vou rcll hinr?
Vt.R()NIClA. 'l'har she s'es a pholrl.'l'his rvonran is a phortv. lil
sorr\'.
ANi{l. l"l'E. (tlpx,t.)Ht, ha, ha! ...
Al.AN. Whcn JiJ vt-,Lr rcll hirrr:
VI:R()N lCA. V he n t'ou werc in rhc bathrootn.
Al.AN. \irutl krrorvtr hcr fbr flticcn Inirlutcs' [rut vou could tcll shc
wJ:r J l)h()ll\',
Vt,R(iNIL.\. lt s rhc kinrl ol rhinq I pi.k rr1"'n rig.lrt 'rrvl"
N{lCHAl:l[.. lt's truc.
VI)R()NlCA. I havc an instinct fbr rhet kind of rhing'
Al.AN. And phonr', rvhar clocs rhat neen?
'l
ANNI;f-l'F-. .loni u',rnt ro hcar irnl' nrorcl Whv irre 1'ou pttrrintl
rrc rhrough this, Al.rni
Al AN. (lrltr) Jorr n, \f,ixrtlrrrxrl.
Vtll{()NI(lA. Shc's someone rvho rries ro snrottrh thc rough cdgcs'
l)eriod. Shc docsrl't clrc .tnv more rhan vot't do Shc's 'rll fronr'
lr{ I(lllA[[-. Iis rruc.
ALAN. I r's truc.
\rER()NlClA. lt's rrrrcl Arc }ou saving it s truc?
'l
N4l(iHAEt.. ho'd.rni giv.ja tucki l hcv h11'31i1 siven 't titck sintc
rhc starr. it's obvious! Her ttt..r, votirc righr!
AL-{N. And vou do. I sr.rpposc? ('lit Atnt'tu')l'ct mc sav st>nrclhittll'
hono'. F.xpluin to Inc in u'hlr \\'rl\'\'ou carc' Nlichacl' \i/hat docs tlrc
.t;r;J in thc t-rrsr place: V'u'ic flr nr.rc authentic u'hcn t'.'tire
";""it
sh.ltitttl rrrrtrscll irr .r ll,rrril'lc light Ti' rcll \('tl Ih( trulll tlrr orrc itt
rlri, r,uirrr tllrcs (xLc[]( ti'r \ <rt'rrri"'r' rr ht's'" itrt'"gritr' it hlt to be
s.rid, mtrst be eckno.t lcdgcJ.
VEIIONl(lA. Dotr'r lcknc,rvlc.lsc mcl I)on'r rcktrorvlcdsc nrcl
ANNEI-]-1.. I cirre. I atrsolttrelv clrc'
Ai-,fX. Ut otrlv'( carc ,lto.tr ,,r.,, orvn tlclinr'ls' Artttctte ' wc rc 'l'\' no{
social crus.t.lers. lit lL'rt,ttit',t.) I sau' vour titend lanc tronda ort
rhc orhcr dlr', I u:ts itr"hcs.tnav tiom ioining rhc KKK : .
i'L.tttlN tc:,q,. \Wher .lo vou rnc.rn' "nl' fiicnd"? Vhar's Jane
F.rn.lr r1t,t r,r Jo riirh .rll rhis: ..

tI
ALAN. \bu'rc rhe same lrreed. You're grarr of thc same caregorv of
woman, committcd, problcm-solving, thar! not whar we like
abour women, whar we like about women is sensuality, wildness,
hormones. Vtrmen who makc a song and dance about their intu-
ition, women who arc custodians of thc world depress us, even
him, poor Michael, \'our husband, he's de pressed . . .
N4ICHAEL. Don't spcak fbr me!
VE.RON ICA. \Wtro givcs a flr'ing fuck what vou like about women?
Vhere does this lccrurc come fiom? A man like vou, u'ho could
begrn ro givc a lirck tbr your opinion?
ALAN. She's i'elling. She's 1'clling like a stuck pig.
VL,RC)NlCA. \X''hat about hcr, docstr'r she ycll?! Vhen she said
thrt lirtle basrard had donc well to clout our son?
ANNF-I'TE. Ycs, hc did do well! At least he's not a sniveling lirtle
faggot!
VERONICA. \burs is a snitch, is that irny be rter?
ANNL-TTi-I. Alan, lct's go! What are we doing, staying in this
dump? (5Ir ntlees to letue, tbeu retunts tou,ards the tuliPs, which sbe
hshes out at uiol:ntly. Flou,ers fy, disintegrate and scntter all ouer the
pl,rce. ) Thcrc, thcre, thlr's r,r'hat I think of vour pathetic flowers,
vour hi.lc<,u, rulipsl . . . Ha, ha, ha! (She hursts into tears.) . - - k's the
worst da1' of ny lifc .rs u'ell. (.5)/rzrr' A long stunned pduse. Micbdel
picks stnutlting up oJJ'the floor. )
MICHaI:1. ('lb Annttte.) This 1'ours? (An ette tllkes a sPe.tacle'
r/lse, opens it dnd tdhes out a pair of'gLtsses. )
ANNETTE. Thanks...
MICHAEI.. Not brokcn? .. .

ANNL]'TE. No ... (htuse.)

Ml(lHA[.L. What I ahvals sa;'is .'. (Ahn starts gttltering up tbe
stens atd petdls.)Lcave it.
ALAN. No .. . ('l ht tehphonc ritgs. AJier sone hesiration, l'eronita
pitks up tht rectiutr. )
VERdNI(lA. \'es, darling ... ()h, grnd ... Vill you bc able to do
vour homework at Annabclle's? . .. No, no, darling' we have n't
iir.r,r.l hc. ... \ts, t rvenr all rhe u'al' to rhe grocerv srore. Bur you
knou', m1'Iovc, Nibbles is vcrv rcsourceful, I think t'ou have to
hevc fiirh in hcr. Yotr rlrink shc rvas happv in ir cage? ... Daddy's
ven'sad, he didni mcan to uPset vou .. Ycs' r'ou rvill' ofcoursc
vou'll speak to hirn ,tgain. l-isten' derling' u'e'rc worried enough
ilrcadr" about ,r'our brothcr ... Shc'll cat... she'll eat leaves ...

41
Jcorns, horsc chestnuts .. . shc'll find things' she knou's rvhar fbod
she needs . . . worms, snails, stuff thar drops out of trash cans' she's
like ur, shc's omnivorous ... Scc you soon, swcetheart. (Pnuse.)
MICHAEL. Chanccs are that crcaturc's probabll' stufling its tacc
as we speak.
VERONICA. No. (Silcnce.)
MlCHAllt-. Vhat do we know?
End of PlaY

1^
 PROPERTY LIST

Paper, pen
Art books
Ccll phonc
Newspaper
-Ii"ay
rvirh drinks, clafbuti, plates, fbrks, crc.
Coff'ee
Coke
Basins, cloth, sponge
Perfumc bortle
Hair dr1,er
Bottle of rum, glasses
Cigar box
Purse with conrpilct, spcctacle case wirh glasses
 SOI,]ND EFFECTS

Hair dryer
Phone rings