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Copyright © 2022 by Tochukwu Chike Muonagolu

All rights reserved
The total or partial reproduction of the contents of this book is totally
forbidden without the author’s permission. For information about
permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to
publishingwithpermission@gmail.com

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 WHISTLING IN VAIN: A PLAY

TOCHUKWU CHIKE MUONAGOLU

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 INTRODUCTION
I started writing Whistling In Vain a few months after the #ENDSARS protest
of 2020 occurred. My intention was not just to capture the historical event but to
highlight issues I later realized were the afflictions of the Nigerian society at that
time, both at the individual and state levels. The painful reality, at least in my
opinion, had been that, though we all desired a positive change in governance, not
many of us were willing to look inwards, to see if perhaps, that revolution could start
from our hearts and minds, and our attitudes toward each other. Of course, by this
statement, I do not mean to throw aside the numerous issues that plague our society
or to suggest that speaking up against injustice and bad governance is a futile
mission. I am only trying to demonstrate that society is but a reflection of the people
in it.
The first thing I did while writing was to develop characters that embody the
ideas and qualities I wanted to speak to. For example, Mama Rosa represents the
type of wisdom and resilience needed to survive and succeed in the Nigerian society.
These qualities can be seen in the way she conducts her business, handles customers
and administers authority over the girls who work for her. Sam, on the other hand,
embodies folly, laziness and a reckless attitude that eventually leads to his demise.
And the Pastor embodies deception and a desperate need to break out of poverty.
Nevertheless, there is the possibility that I might have failed in my effort to convey
these qualities and ideas through these characters and that my readers may, in fact,
view them in a different light.
Another strategy I employed while writing was to choose a setting that
symbolizes the constant need for gratification, whether by music, images, food, or
sex, amongst the majority of young people today, and the blind desire that traps
many in a highly materialistic society, of which the result is a population deprived
of morality and intellectual inquisitiveness. The men who visit Mama Rosa’s Bar
and Brothel do so because they are helplessly seeking pleasures to fill up their
emptiness, and except for Harrison, who throughout the play ruthlessly examines
himself while questioning this unjust reality of which he too is a victim, the men do
not mind if they achieve their satisfaction to the detriment of the women who work
at the brothel. I give an insight to this mental framework when Sam, who is obviously
misguided says, “I tell you, there is nothing else a man came to do in this life but to

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pursue Love. And when he finds it, he devours it like he would a pot of soup.” This
statement also reveals Sam’s myopic philosophy about life, which does not make
him any different from the people and system he is protesting. Unlike Harrison, Sam
is ignorant of his flaws and is unwilling to criticize himself and take responsibility
for his condition. Yet, he is quick to blame the government, perhaps because he sees
the demonstrations as an assuring avenue to escape his problems.
It is also important not to confuse Sam’s motivation with the protagonist’s.
Harrison does not protest because he is suffering from a lack of material wealth or
of his sympathy for the people’s plight, even though these are what his rhetoric
suggest. Rather, he does so to douse the melancholy and guilt that arise from his
overindulgence in sex and alcohol. This notion surfaces in scenes where he
complains bitterly about his addiction to Mama Rosa, Diana, and the Pastor. Another
plausible motivation that drives Harrison’s acts of protest is the desire to take
revenge on his parents and a social class he believes are the primary causes of his
flaw. This idea surfaces when he tells Diana about his childhood and how his past
makes him rebellious, and later when he refers to his father as the enemy.
Furthermore, Harrison’s fate becomes entangled with Diana’s as he falls in
love with the young, beautiful sex worker. He believes his love for Diana will bring
him peace and save him from his self-destructive behaviours, but he is also
concerned that he may lose her due to his reckless nature and his inability to keep to
one woman. He tries to explain his feelings to her when he says, “I have all these
desires for you that manifest when we make love. But the truth is, I’m not sure what
lies beyond those desires, and it makes me scared …,” This statement also hints at
the idea that Harrison does not fully understand his feelings for Diana, whether what
he feels is love or just lust. Again, he tries to get Diana to reason with him when he
asks, “Is sex and money all that we have to offer each other? Don’t you feel an
emptiness after all the romping and orgasms? Don’t you feel racked with guilt and
confusion?” Diana, however, does not relate with Harrison’s views about what their
relationship ought to be, nor is she willing to change her lifestyle for him, which
raises the question of whether she actually loves him. Finally, Harrison’s love is
tested when Diana surrenders and unclothes her true self before him.
I would note here that the story in this play did not originate from any real-
life character or event other than the #ENDSARS protests of 2020 and my distant

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but meticulous observations. It is also not my intention to attack any person, group
of persons or government regime, but to simply paint a picture of an ailing society
with words, poetry and drama.
Furthermore, this introduction should not overshadow, influence or interfere
with the interpretations of my readers. It is only a guide to understanding the
background of the story and my inspiration for writing. Hence, I hope this play will
remain open and vulnerable to the individual lens of everyone who reads.

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 CHARACTERS
HARRISON – A young university student in his early twenties, from a prominent
family, a frequent visitor at the brothel.
DIANA – A young attractive woman in her late teens, a sex worker.
SAM – A factory worker in his early-forties, a frequent visitor at the brothel.
MAMA ROSA – The brothel owner, a woman in her late forties.
FATIMA – A young woman in her mid-twenties, a sex worker.
SANDRA – A young woman in her mid-twenties, a sex worker.
CINDY – A young woman in her mid-twenties, a sex worker.
PASTOR – A self-proclaimed clergyman.
SAM’S WIFE – A woman in her late-thirties.
CHILD 1 – Sam’s oldest child, a young woman in her early twenties.
CHILD 2 – Sam’s second child, a young woman in her late teens.
CHILD 3 – Sam’s third child, a young girl.
CHILD 4 – Sam’s fourth child, a young girl.
CHILD 5 – Sam’s fifth child, a young boy.
MOTHER – A diplomat, Harrison’s mother.
MAN – A wealthy man in his sixties.
MAILMAN – A mailman from the post office.
BAR VISITORS/PROTESTERS – Extras.

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 SETTING
A slum in the city of Lagos.

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 ACT ONE

Scene 1

A brothel in a noisy slum. The faint sounds of car horns and bus conductors chanting
their routes and destinations. The bar in the brothel is full of people, and everyone
looks happy. Harrison, however, is agitated. There is a newspaper in his hands.

HARRISON: Ha! Again! Armed bandits carry out deadly attack on a village. At
least ten people killed. Many more missing. Military deployed as residents
worry about reprising attacks. When will all this nonsense end! This country
is heading to the dustbin, I tell you!

SAM: It is sad what those stupid men do. Killing and abducting people as they wish.
And what do they gain from it? Nothing.

MAMA ROSA: Who told you they gain nothing from it? Have you not heard of the
new game those monkeys and baboons play? They capture a fine piece of the
people’s meat and put a price tag on it, then before you can count all your
fingers and toes, our leaders go running to them, begging and pleading, all
because their soft and comfy chairs have suddenly become too hot for their
buttocks.

SAM: Hm!

HARRISON: I wonder who laid this curse on us. It’s such a miserable life we live
in our own land. If the police doesn’t assault you for not being flush enough
to give them a suitable bribe, the economic repression will dip its greedy hands
into your pockets, leaving them empty and dry.

SAM: Ha, now hold on there, mister man. What do you know about the struggles of
the common man, eh? Does your father not head one of those government

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 ministries in Abuja. Which one is it again? The, the transportation Ministry of
…,

MAMA ROSA: The Federal Ministry of Transportation.

SAM: Yes, that one. Thank you.

HARRISON: Just because I happen to sleep in the master’s bedroom does not mean
I cannot feel the heat of the fire that burns.

MAMA ROSA: But at least, you get to sleep on a nice bed while we, the masses,
fight ourselves in the slave quarters for a free corner to make our beds.

HARRISON: Ah! There you go! This is the problem. Don’t search for a place to lay
your mat. Put out the fire!

SAM: Yes, put out the fire, you say. But with what? Our saliva, clothes and bags?
Oh no. Let them, who started the fire, put it out themselves. They know
themselves.

HARRISON: And what if these people care not since they know they’ll be gone
before the ashes turn to dust. Will you sit and watch your children inherit a
land devoid of life and hope? A world with nothing to hold on to?

SAM: Our children will take care of themselves. Life has always been so. Soldier
go, soldier come, barrack remains the same. If you keep worrying about these
things, you’ll turn old and grey before your time, and even your mates will
start to call you grandpa.

(Laughter.)

MAMA ROSA: Ahh, Harrison. Be cheerful. Take a drink. Relax. What you should
be doing now is searching for a lovely girl to make your heart taste the

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 treasures of love. Not disturbing your head with politics and those things you
read in your books. You know Mama Rosa is always there if you need her
assistance. Eh? Eh?

SAM: Mama Rosa! Linking thirsty boys with girls since this country got its
independence. But now that I think of—

MAMA ROSA: Hey! Better watch your mouth! It seems like that beer in your hand
has reached your brain. But so what? Mama Rosa may be a little bit old, but
the strength of her thighs has not waned a bit.

SAM: Ha! That I cannot confirm that until I have tried for myself.

(Mama Rosa makes a mean face at Sam.)

But Harrison, you must agree that Love has its way of driving away those
spirits of unrest that often arise in the hearts of men.

HARRISON: Ah, love is a sweet-bitter pill. Take Love away and give me pleasure.
That’ll do.

SAM: Pleasure. Love. What’s the difference? Two different beats, but they come
from the same drum. I tell you, there is nothing else a man came to do in this
life but to pursue Love. And when he finds it, he devours it like he would a
pot of soup.

(Sam seizes one of Mama Rosa’s girls and begins to feel her.)

MAMA ROSA: Yes, yes. But love is demanding, reserved for only those who can
afford what it asks!

(Mama Rosa snatches the girl away from him.)

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SAM: The world has gone sour and corrupt. That is why you speak like this, my
dear. Does the sun demand payment for the light he gives? Or the river, for
the water she provides? Why then should a man pay for the Love he finds in
the luscious body of a woman?

MAMA ROSA: Because the woman has got blood running in her veins! Not the sun,
or a river, or a pot of soup for you to lick and stick your dirty fingers in as you
wish!

HARRISON: But don’t you think women should aspire to be more like mother
nature? Eh? More celestial, yet more generous and humble.

MAMA ROSA: Ah! So that you can build bridges on our backs and run away to
your castle. No. We would start to be more humble and generous after you
men have done so. And you, why do you sound like this? Better don’t let
yourself be led astray by this useless man. He is nothing but a shell-less crab.

SAM: Me? A shell-less crab. But it is me who gives it to your girls just the way they
crave it.

(A girl walks by, and Harrison pulls her to him. They begin to flirt.)

Have they not told you how I exhaust them in bed? So much so they have to
call for assistance to avoid passing out from the weight of my thrusts.

(Mama Rosa shakes her head.)

MAMA ROSA: You deserve all the pity in the world. So you think it is the look of
meat that draws flies. Keep working on those thrusts anyhow. So long as you
have the money to purchase a place to test them, I don’t care.

SAM: You’re always talking like this, Mama. C’mon, loosen up. Okay, look, I will
pay whatever it costs for a swim in your pool. Eh? What do you say? I know
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 it’s been long since someone gave it to you really well. It’s written all over
you.

MAMA ROSA: The mad man dances in the market and wonders why the people do
not applaud.

(The girl leads Harrison up the deck.)

Pay for your drinks first, and maybe then, we shall talk.

SAM: Ah, but Mama, why bother with the children’s toys when bigger things await
us. Or would you rather lose this big fish that comes your way now because
of mere drinks?

MAMA ROSA: Big fish, indeed.

(She seizes him by the collar of his shirt.)

Look, if you know what’s right for you, better pay for your drinks now!

SAM: Ha, I said it! She wants it! But look, my dear, here is not the place for all this
teasing. Why don’t we excuse ourselves and get some—

(Mama Rosa cuts Sam off by delivering a few painful slaps to his head while
insulting him the more. But he manages to free himself from her grip and dashes off.
She runs after him, but he is so quick he escapes before she can get him. Angry that
he has gotten away without paying for his drinks, Mama Rosa bites her lips and
clenches her fists. Lights.)

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 Scene 2

(Mama Rosa comes onstage with her girls. She is angry with Diana.)

MAMA ROSA: Stupid girls! Do you think I am a fool! After everything I have done
for you girls, you go and find a way to betray me. Eh? If you are tired of
staying here, why don’t you find somewhere else to live? Or am I forcing you?
Did I drag you here by your hair? Answer me! Did I? Look at you, when you
first came here, you were so small and innocent; didn’t even know how to put
lipstick on. But now, all you do is talk to men and take selfies. And then when
I tell you to do this or do that so we can all be happy, you hang your shoulders
for me and tell me you don’t want to mess up your nails. Where do you think
I get the money to put food on your table? How do you think I pay the electric
bill? Eh? Answer me! Oh, you think you’re so smart, abi? You think because
you’ve grown wings you can now corner my customers and steal my money?

DIANA: No, Mama. I was only—

MAMA ROSA: Only what? Will you shut up your dirty mouth! Sneaking out of
here at night and returning at three in the morning dressed like the person who
gave you clothes didn’t know your size, and you tell me you were only out
with some friends. Do you know how long I have been in this business? Do
you think I carry these breasts high for nothing? Look, let me tell you, I know
all the tricks you girls play, so you better quit your nonsense, or I’ll throw you
out of my door in no time! Maybe then we’ll see if those old men you follow
around will take you in the way I have done. Or if you’ll survive on those
skinny legs of yours. Now come here. Come here, I say!

(Diana walks to Mama Rosa timidly, and she moves to search her.)

Where is the money he gave you?

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DIANA: Which money, Mama?

MAMA ROSA: One more stupid question, and I’ll show you how swift my hands
are.

(Mama Rosa continues to search Diana, who obviously isn’t pleased with all the
touching and riffling. As she searches Diana’s body, she leaves no place untouched.
Finding nothing on her however, she snatches her bag and empties its contents on
the floor. But she finds nothing there too, so she orders her to take off her shoes so
she can search them. Diana hesitates but eventually submits. Mama Rosa takes the
shoes from her and searches them, and lo and behold, she finds what she wants.
Making a show of her triumph then, she sings and waves the money in the air for
everyone to see.)

As long as you eat and live under my roof, you pay to Mama Rosa what she
deserves! Ha!

(She tucks the money into her brassiere and walks away, feeling happy and satisfied.)

DIANA: Aargh! I’m tired of all this! Who does she think she is? Just because we
live here doesn’t give her the right to treat us like slaves. Haba! Just watch.
I’ll soon find a rich man with a good heart to take me out of this hell we’re
living. And when I do, she’ll beg. She’ll say, oh Diana, please, come back.
Ever since you left, no one comes to the bar anymore. No one comes because
the pretty girl with the nice behind isn’t around to wink and blow kisses at
men. But, of course, I’ll be long gone by then, away from this filth. I’ll be too
busy shopping for gold in Dubai and having butter croissants for breakfast in
Paris. Just watch. Even the man I was with last night promised to take me on
a trip to Ghana someday. But I don’t think I’ll stick to him for long. He’s
always here and there all the time, and his demeanour does not reflect his age.

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 What I need is a rich man who’s figured things out already, someone filled to
the brim, yet with a constant yearning for the beautiful things in life. Do you
know what I mean? A man who can walk and dance at the same time, who’s
wise enough to recognize a princess when he sees one, and who’s not afraid
to catch and hold onto her—tenderly, of course—so she doesn’t fly away like
a butterfly. I know he’ll come by soon enough, and when he does, I’ll run
away with him. Yes, I will, even if it requires that I become a second or third
wife. There’s nothing wrong with sharing, after all. I even hear women who—

(Laughter interrupts.)

What? What is so funny?

FATIMA: You’re crazy, Diana. No man in his right senses will ever think of settling
down with you. You may have the looks, but you’re too used. Can’t you see?
You’ve been passed around too many times like a tobacco pipe.

(More laughter.)

DIANA: How dare you speak to me like that? Are you any better?

(Diana gets confrontational with Fatima.)

FATIMA: Maybe yes, maybe no. Who cares? The day you realize that all men want
just one thing from us and quit living in your head, the better for you! And if
you must know what we think, Mama Rosa may be harsh, but she loves us,
and there’s often truth in all that shouting and yelling she does. So back off!

(Cindy and Sandra stand behind Fatima to show their support. Seeing that they are
all against her, Diana makes a grunting sound with her throat and storms away
angrily.)

CINDY: Leave her. Let her go. She’s such a spoiled brat.
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FATIMA: Just watch…, I’ll soon find myself a man to take me out of this hell…,
Just watch, she’ll beg me when I’m gone…, Ugh, she is so annoying.

(More laughter.)

Anyways, did you guys notice there’s been a rat—

(Harrison barges into the bar, interrupting their discussion. There is a gloomy look
on his face. He asks for a bottle of beer, and one of the girls serves him. Then the
others join, acting seductively to draw his attention. When they notice he is not
responding, they become more direct in their advances. They wink and blow kisses
and caress him, but he ignores them still. Realizing then that he does not want their
attention, they abandon him and walk offstage. Left alone, Harrison gulps down a
few cups of beer quickly. Then, he reaches into his breast pocket and takes out a
folded sheet of paper. He unfolds the paper and peruses it, and the gloomy expression
hardens on his face. He folds back the paper roughly and puts it in his trousers’
pocket, then gulps down more mouthfuls of beer straight from the bottle. He does
not notice Mama Rosa when she walks in.)

MAMA ROSA: Ah, look who decided to come by early today. Harrison, my dear,
how are you?

(She hugs him.)

HARRISON: I’m okay, Mama. How’s the business?

MAMA ROSA: Business is good. I can’t complain. But you, why this long face?
Did someone offend…, Ahh of course. Diana! Fatima! Can you imagine?
Where are these girls? Diana!

HARRISON: Forget it, Mama. I don’t need that right now.

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(All the girls come onstage, and Mama Rosa dismisses them with a gesture. She
fetches herself a cold bottle of soft drink from the refrigerator and sits down next to
Harrison.)

MAMA ROSA: What’s the matter, honey? You’re not your usual self. C’mon, talk
to me. Tell me what it is. You know there’s nothing Mama Rosa cannot
handle. Eh?

HARRISON: Oh, don’t worry, Mama. It’s nothing serious.

MAMA ROSA: It’s nothing serious, yet you look like someone who’s been swindled
by one of those money doublers. Tell me. Is it your parents? Did they say
something to you?

HARRISON: No, it’s not them.

(Pause.)

Take a look at this.

(He takes out the folded sheet of paper from his pocket and hands it over to Mama
Rosa.)

I failed a pop quiz at school today all because I have a lecturer who doesn’t
give a dime about what he teaches.

MAMA ROSA: Aww, is that it? You’re sad because you failed a test? But I thought
you were part of the brilliant ones, you know, with all these grammar you
speak here at the bar. Okay, I didn’t mean it like that. But I wouldn’t have
guessed you were having a hard time in school. What’s the matter? Were you
sick?

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HARRISON: No. It’s my lecturer. The man is crazy. I mean, what kind expects his
students to understand the subject without doing any proper explanation.

(Harrison stands. He is getting angrier.)

You know what he does every time he walks into the classroom, which is like
once every week instead of the three times we’re supposed to have him?
Nothing! He just reads the textbook to us, word for word, as if we can’t do
that by ourselves and leaves! Can you imagine? He does this all the time! And
you would think that we, the students, are the ones who are always in a hurry
to leave that dirty, overcrowded lecture hall, but I tell you, that man literally
jumps paragraphs while he reads so he can beat the bell. And then what
happens in the end? We suffer because he brings us all these rubbish tests with
so much audacity, asking us to explain, for example, why methodological
individualism matters and the economical implications of the foreign
investment policies enacted during the 1980s. Like what the hell? How am I
to answer these questions when they keep rising out of the blue.

MAMA ROSA: I understand your frustration dear, but I don’t think you did so bad.
I mean, fifty-two percent…, That sounds above average to me.

HARRISON: No, it’s not good.

(He sits down.)

I’ll never make it to grad school if I—

(Sam stumbles noisily into the bar with two men behind him. He greets Mama Rosa
and Harrison excitedly, then introduces the men with him as his colleagues. It is
obvious that the three men have been smoking some hard drug. Mama Rosa

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welcomes them with an exaggerated show of excitement, and Sam continues with
his compliments.)

SAM: Mama Rosa, Mama mia! Now one of these days, you’ll have to tell me what
the secret to your beauty is so I can share it with my wife, eh? Because every
day I see you, you seem to have grown prettier and younger.

(Laughter.)

MAMA ROSA: I’ll tell you what it is when I am ready to retire. For now, Mama
Rosa needs to keep winning this game.

(More laughter. And the men nod in agreement.)

Please, have a seat. I’ll call the girls out to serve you.

SAM: Thank you.

(The men sit.)

MAMA ROSA: Diana! Fatima! Cindy! Come here! We’ve got visitors!

(The girls come onstage and begin attending to the men's needs. Their manners are
seductive as before. Mama Rosa returns to Harrison.)

Now, don’t be so moody, dear. It’s just a test, so cheer up. And I’m sure your
father can fix things if the need arises.

HARRISON: Not this time, Mama. I feel stuck and helpless.

MAMA ROSA: What do you mean you feel stuck and helpless? You with
everything a young man can desire. C'mon, don't let this useless test from a
good-for-nothing lecturer spoil your day. You’re bigger than this.

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HARRISON: It's not just the test. I feel this way all the time, so much so that
sometimes, I am inclined to believe that there is something wrong with me.
It's hard to explain. See, whenever I am alone, I feel the heavy drag of a void,
a dark and empty hole in my chest.

MAMA ROSA: Okay, you’re overthinking things again. Maybe you should have
more drinks. I know that usually helps—

SAM: Ah, what’s wrong with the boy? Has a loved one kicked the bucket?

HARRISON: No, I haven’t lost anyone. We were just—

SAM: So what is it? I’m guessing Daddy didn’t send you money for the weekend.
Eh?

(Laughter.)

HARRISON: Hey, better watch your tongue before I put my fist in your face.

(Sam laughs, and the others follow.)

SAM: Calm down, man. Look, what I am trying to say is that the solution to the
problems of the rich man does not stand too far from his pockets. Okay, why
don’t we all dance instead, eh? I’ll turn on the music myself.

(Sam staggers over to the sound system and turns it on. An old-school hit record
starts to play, and everyone, including Mama Rosa, gets excited and begins to dance.
Sam dances over to Harrison and pulls him up. He encourages him to join the fun
then dances off to meet Diana, who is twisting and swaying happily. One of the girls
dances over to the still reluctant Harrison and pulls him to CS. She dances all over
him, and for a moment, Harrison seems charmed by the way she moves. But he soon
loses interest and turns his gaze to Sam, who appears to be struggling to get Diana’s
attention. Sam gets bolder and pulls Diana towards him, but she resists and turns
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away. Angry then, because she would not return his advances, he seizes her and
forces his tongue into her mouth. Disgusted by this action, Diana pulls away and
slaps him hard on the cheek. Sam becomes more violent and pulls her back to him,
but before he can make his next move, Harrison intervenes and pushes him away.
The music stops, and everyone in the bar turns their attention to the two men. Now
filled with rage, Sam attacks Harrison: he falls him to the ground and begins to punch
him repeatedly in the face. Mama Rosa runs towards them and tries to stop the attack
by pulling Sam away, but this only gives Harrison the opportunity to retaliate. He
turns Sam over with much effort and returns the punches in a more vicious, more
emotional manner. To stop the punches from coming, Sam grabs Harrison by the
neck and begins to strangle him. When Harrison surrenders, Sam does not stop. He
keeps on strangling until Harrison is forced to save himself with an empty bottle of
beer lying close by on the floor. He reaches for the bottle, and with what seems to
be his last breath, breaks it on Sam’s head. Blackout.)

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 ACT TWO

Scene 1

(Lights fade in to reveal Sam in a heated argument with his wife, who is holding on
tightly to the hem of his shirt. There is a bandage wrapped around Sam’s forehead.
The bandage stays on him for the rest of the play.)

SAM’S WIFE: You’re not going anywhere until you tell me where my money is!
Thief! Shame on you! Where is the money I kept in my cupboard! Where is
my money, you useless man!

SAM: Woman, what is your problem! Is this how you treat your husband! Let go of
me!

SAM’S WIFE: I will not let you go until you tell me where all the money I have
been saving for the past six months is! What kind of a wicked man are you!
Eh? You steal all I have and don’t even have the heart to leave some behind
for the children and me! All you know is yourself! Selfish man! Better give
me back my money, or I’ll call all the neighbours to tell them everything that
has been going on in this house!

SAM: Woman, if I close my eyes and open it and you’re still holding unto my
shirt…!

SAM’S WIFE: Go ahead! I am here and ready for you! We are going to sort out this
nonsense here today! Do you hear! Today is for you and me!

SAM: One, two, I’m counting to five! Leave me this moment or I’ll—

SAM’S WIFE: Three, four, five! Are you done? Useless man!

SAM: Woman, I will slap you! I'm warning you for the last time!

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SAM’S WIFE: Look at my cheek! Go ahead!

SAM: You are one crazy woman! Kai! I should have listened to my cousin before
paying your bride price!

SAM’S WIFE: You are the one that is crazy! I tell you to give me some money to
buy food; you say no! I tell you to work extra hours at the factory to earn us
more money for food; you say no! You say no because you spend all your
time and money on drinks and prostitutes! And then when I hawk all day in
the scorching sun to earn a little money so I can take care of the children and
me, you sneak into the room like a cockroach and steal all the money! Shame
on you, you lazy man! Woo-woo-woo-woo! Shame on you!

SAM: Woman, I am warning you for the last time! If you love yourself, leave my
shirt alone, or I’ll teach you the biggest lesson of your life!

SAM’S WIFE: There is nothing you can do! You are just a wretched fool! A good
for nothing man!

SAM: How dare you insult me! Okay, I will show you what a wretched fool can do!

(Sam pounces on his wife, and they begin to wrestle themselves. Their children, five
of them, run onstage to separate the feuding couple. After much effort, they succeed
in separating and constraining them.)

CHILD 2: Mama! Papa! What is the meaning of all this! Can’t you two go for a
week without trying to wring each other’s necks?

SAM’S WIFE: Ask your father! He is the one who has sworn not to let peace reign
in this house!

SAM: Do you see your mother! She has finally lost her head! Look what she did to
my shirt!
24
SAM’S WIFE: And I would do much more if you don’t tell me where my money is!

SAM: Am I no longer the man of this house! Don’t I have a right to all corners and
everything in this house!

SAM’S WIFE: You are not a man but a foolish hyena with no sense of decency!

SAM: Do you hear what she says! Oh, leave me this moment! I need to put this crazy
woman back in her place!

(He makes to attack her once more, but the children constrain him.)

CHILD 2: Calm down, Papa. Don’t be like that. Look, I think Mama is angry because
the money she kept in her cupboard is missing. Did you take her money?

SAM: What sort of a question is that? Are you accusing me of stealing too?

CHILD 2: No, but someone has taken the money she’s been saving all this while.
Did you, in any way whatsoever, come across the money and decided to make
use of it without telling her?

SAM: Well, now that you put it that way, I will explain. I saw some money in the
cupboard yesterday afternoon and eh, t-took it. But it was necessary. Yes, it
was for reasons of utmost importance. You know me and how I love to keep
my word when it comes to business deals. I needed to settle some debts here
and there to avoid losing our television and furniture to greedy businessmen
and money lenders. S-s-so, I took the money to pay off these people. But the
money wasn’t even that much. It was just a little money. And look what she
did to my shirt because of it!

SAM’S WIFE: You’re lucky I only got to your shirt! If not for these children, I
would have torn you to pieces this morning!

25
SAM: You’re just a wicked woman who can’t be grateful that she found someone
like me to marry her! Go and ask other women how well they treat their
husbands in their homes!

SAM’S WIFE: Say whatever you want, but no one is leaving here until we come to
an agreement on how you’re going to repay all the money you stole from me!

SAM: Woman, I didn’t steal any money! As the man and breadwinner of this family,
everything in this house belongs to me, including you!

SAM’S WIFE: Shameless man! Look at you, wanting to climb a mountain with your
backside!

CHILD 3: But Papa, I think you should give Mama back her money. It is the right
thing to do.

SAM’S WIFE: Good, tell him so he knows!

SAM: Will you shut up! You that only knows how to carry the whole class on the
head in school. Since when did you learn to stick your mouth in the affairs of
adults! Go back inside this moment!

SAM’S WIFE: Leave her alone! She is not going anywhere!

CHILD 4: Papa, just so you know, I am on Mama’s side this time. It’s not proper to
take what doesn’t belong to you. You should return all her money to her.

SAM’S WIFE: Good, tell him!

SAM: What an abomination! Look at the way these children speak to me!

SAM’S WIFE: Oh, the truth really hurts, doesn’t it!

26
CHILD 5: But Mama, I don’t think Papa has done anything wrong. He said he took
the money to prevent people from seizing our properties. Shouldn’t we be
thankful?

SAM: Finally, someone with sense speaks!

(Just then, one of Sam’s children, the oldest of them, walks in beaming with joy. She
has a letter in her hand and is unable to control her excitement.)

CHILD 1: Papa! Mama! Look, I got the Job! I got the job!

SAM: God is faithful! Let me see! What job is it?

CHILD 1: It’s a cleaning job at the restaurant just before the motor bridge!

SAM’S WIFE: Very good! That’s my daughter! I knew you would do well at the
interview!

SAM: Good girl! You’ve made your father very happy today!

CHILD 1: Yes! And the manager, oh, she was so kind and friendly. She said I could
start as soon as next week Monday!

SAM’S WIFE: Wow, that is wonderful! Praise God!

SAM: Yes, it is good news. But err, what is your wage? How much are we talking
here?

CHILD 1: Twenty-five thousand a month! Can you believe it? That’s enough money
to pay half a year’s rent!

SAM’S WIFE: Ha! I knew my God had not abandoned me! All my enemies will be
ashamed when they hear of this!

27
SAM: It is good, my daughter. But I have a small request to make. You must give
me a certain amount of that money every month. I know this is not too much
to ask as your beloved father, eh?

SAM’S WIFE: Eh? What did I hear you say! So you have the liver to still ask for
money in this house! Look, let me tell you, you are not getting any money
from her! Do you hear! Go and work for yours like a real man!

SAM: Woman, you can shout all you want! Scream even until the roof falls! But
you will not change a thing! As the man and foremost breadwinner of this
home, I am entitled to her earnings! And I am not even asking for the whole
thing like other men do. Just a tiny percentage of it. So what is your problem?

SAM’S WIFE: My daughter’s money belongs to no one but her! She alone will
decide what to do with the money she earns! But my dear, you know how
difficult it has been for us, finding food to eat in this house. Now that you’re
earning all this money, I will suggest that you give me just a little money every
week so I can buy foodstuff from the market to cook our meals. You see, I
wouldn’t be asking you if your father hadn’t stolen all the money I had been
saving in my cupboard.

(Sam’s wife begins to cry.)

CHILD 1: Oh, Mama, did he do that. I’m so sorry. Don’t worry, that’s okay, you can
have as much as you want every week.

SAM’S WIFE: Thank you my daughter. God will bless you.

CHILD 5: Ah, what about me? My school fee is long overdue, and I’m tired of
receiving lashes as punishment for this. See my buttocks. It’s scarred all over
with marks from the headmaster’s whip.

28
(Everyone gathers around him to have a look at his buttocks; his siblings cannot stop
giggling. A knock is heard, and a man in an oversized shabby suit and a bible in his
hand walks in.)

PASTOR: Peace! Peace to this house! Do you accept my peace and the good tidings
I bring!

SAM: We accept! Come in!

PASTOR: Ah, Sam my good friend! It is so good to see you! How is the family?

SAM: We are doing just fine, Pastor! As you can see, my daughter here has finally
gotten a job! She’s such a brilliant girl! Just like her father!

PASTOR: Wow! That is good news!

SAM: Yes, it is. But her and her mother have sworn not to let me in on the blessings.
I asked for my monthly share of her salary, and they refused me the privilege.
Isn’t it heartbreaking what has become of we men in this modern but
misplaced world?

PASTOR: I understand your pain, my friend. Even to my Lord, they render the same
treatment. But, if I may ask, how much are we talking here?

SAM: Twenty-five thousand. Can you imagine? A total sum of twenty-five

thousand, and they won’t spare me a dime.

(Sam’s wife cuts in.)

SAM’S WIFE: Good day, Pastor. I’m sorry to say, but my husband here does not
deserve any money from us. Why should my daughter share her hard-earned
wage with him when he persistently refuses to work or make any financial

29
 contributions to this family? The only things he does are drink, shout and sleep
around like a stray dog!

PASTOR: Woman, how dare you speak of your husband like that? Do you not know
it is a grave sin that you commit? Sam, I shall have a word with you privately.

(The Pastor pulls Sam to a corner, where they talk in hushed tones. They converse
for a while, then return to the rest of the family.)

PASTOR: Ahem! Everyone, listen and listen well. We both have contemplated
seriously on the situation and have decided what to do with this young
woman’s monthly wage.

CHILD 1: Apology, Mr. Pastor, but I don’t think you have a right to—

PASTOR: Are you trying to question the Lord’s authority in this matter?

CHILD 1: No, but I do not agree with—

PASTOR: Then keep your mouth shut. You only have because the Lord, not minding
your wretchedness, has found you worthy of receiving. Hence, you shall
return ten percent of your monthly wage to him through my anointed hands
on the first day of each month as gratitude for his blessings. As for your father,
you know very well what the scriptures say about honouring him. Woe to that
child who does not accord their father the respect he deserves. Their days on
this earth will not see beyond the height of a banana tree! Thus, you shall give
your father only twenty percent of—

SAM: Thirty, Pastor! Thirty!

(They exchange glances.)

30
PASTOR: Sorry, a slip of the tongue. You shall give your father only thirty percent
of your monthly wage as gratitude for being your father and the man in this
house. You can do with the rest of the money whatever you wish.

SAM’S WIFE: Ah, but that leaves us with barely anything. May I suggest then that
the rest of the money be given to me? As you probably know, the prices of
foodstuff have been increasing considerably in the market lately, making it
hard for us to afford even a paint of garri.

PASTOR: As I said, you and your daughter are free to do with the balance as you
wish. Isn’t that so, Sam?

SAM: You have spoken well. It is fine with me.

CHILD 1: No Papa, it’s not fair! Why should I give my money to this con man who
parades himself as a pastor?

SAM: Be quiet! What is wrong with you?

PASTOR: Hmph! The anointed one suffereth hindrance, but the Lord’s share he
shall take by force! Young woman, you must desist from this rebellious path
you tread. It will not do you any good, especially when the time comes for a
man to take you home as his wife.

SAM’S WIFE: My daughter, there is nothing wrong with giving back to God, who
I know very well has blessed you with this job. But I still maintain my stance
against giving your father a share of your wage. The lazy grasshopper should
be left to starve when the time for harvest comes!

SAM: We should probably fetch you some water to dilute all that bitterness in your
heart, eh? It’s a pity I have to put up with you until death takes one of us.

31
 Anyway, you all heard the Pastor’s words. Thirty percent of that money
belongs to me. There’s nothing you can do about it now.

CHILD 1: I don’t mind giving you some money, Papa. But why must I give to the
Pastor all in the name of showing God my appreciation?

PASTOR: Look, young woman, you have no idea what you are doing depriving the
Lord his portion of your wage. Do you want to go to hell, that terrible place
of weeping and gnashing of teeth? Besides, has the Lord not promised to open
the windows of heaven and pour down more blessings on those who pay their
tithes obediently? I tell you, you will be doing yourself a lot of good by giving
to the Lord’s servant his master’s share.

SAM: It is true. I know quite a few people who can testify to that promise.
Remember the Adebanjos and how they won the American lottery.

PASTOR: Oh yes!

SAM’S WIFE: Or Mr. Daniel, whose confiscated containers were miraculously

released by the government.

PASTOR: Amen!

SAM: What about Mr. Ifeanyi and his wife? Twenty years of marriage and not a
single child.

PASTOR: Hmph!

SAM: But when they decided to test the Lord by sowing in his field, he rewarded
them with a set of sextuplets! It’s not a lie. Go to their house down the street
and see for yourself.

PASTOR: Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

32
SAM’S WIFE: I also know of one woman who—

CHILD 1: Okay, okay, I get your point. I’ll give the Pastor the ten percent he
requested. But look, I’m going to need some of that money to register for the
upcoming university entrance exams. I really want to go to the big University.
That was the reason I went searching for a job in the first place, remember?

SAM: You can do whatever you want with your money as long as it doesn’t affect
my share.

PASTOR: Or that which belongs to the Lord.

SAM’S WIFE: My daughter, please don’t be angry. But I think we should also
consider your poor little brother. I am not happy that he’s been receiving
lashes for not paying his school fee, all because your father has failed in his
responsibilities as a man. Perhaps you should step in and save the situation
now that you have a job. Give your brother some money to pay up his school
fees before registering for the entrance exams, eh?

(Child 1 ponders her mother’s advice. She looks unhappy.)

CHILD 1: Ohhh, I don’t want to do that, Mama. B-but that’s alright. I’ll give him
the money though it means I would have to wait another year to register for
the exams. How much do you need exactly?

CHILD 5: Err, nine thousand.

EVERYONE: Nine thousand!

CHILD 5: Yes, three for this term, three for the previous term, and another three for
the term before that one.

33
PASTOR: Good Lord! What have you two been doing all this time, not paying your
son's fees!

SAM’S WIFE: Ah, finally, you see our predicament. Ask your friend and our so-
called breadwinner where all the money he makes goes!

SAM: She says nonsense! I give her most, if not all, the money I earn. She is just an
ungrateful wife that nags all the time like a dripping faucet! Look how fat she
has grown under my roof, and yet she complains!

SAM’S WIFE: Eh! Who are you calling fat!

(Sam’s wife attacks him, and he struggles to free himself. The Pastor sneaks away,
but not before reminding them that he will be back on the first day of the coming
month to collect the Lord’s share. Eventually, Sam frees himself from his wife’s grip
and takes off. She pursues him, and the children run after them. Lights.)

34
 Scene 2

(Doorbell rings. Diana comes onstage and skips across to check the door. It’s the
mailman. She opens to let him in.)

MAILMAN: Good day, young woman. I have a mail for one Diana O-GU-NI-

DIANA: Oh, that’s me. I’m here.

MAILMAN: Ah, great! A lovely name for a beautiful woman, eh? Okay, I’m going
to need you to sign here for me.

(He gives Diana a ledger which she signs. Then he takes the ledger from her and
hands her an envelope. Diana thanks him, but he continues to wait.)

DIANA: Yes? Is there something else?

MAILMAN: Ah, nothing much! I was just wondering if, err, I could, you know, get
your number. I’m sure a stunning woman like you needs—

DIANA: Beat it, man! Now is not the time.

(Diana pushes him out and shuts the door. She rips the envelope open and scans the
document in it. She gasps.)

DIANA: I’m…positive! I’m positive! No! I must hide this. No one must ever find
out.

(She tucks the document into her brassiere and hurries away. Lights.)

35
 Scene 3

(Harrison walks in while conversing with his mother via phone. There is a bottle of
beer in his hand and a strip of bandage over his nose. The bandage stays on him for
the remainder of the play.)

HARRISON: No, mum, I told you. I can’t come back home for the Holiday.

MOTHER: But Harrison, it's been almost two years since you left for Lagos, and
your father has not seen you. He misses you badly and wants to catch up.

MOTHER: What do you mean dad wants to catch up? That’s not true. He’s always
busy with work and friends.

MOTHER: Harrison, you must stop this nonsense right now. When did you become
so obstinate? You don't even listen to your mother anymore. Is this what
Lagos has made you become? Look, you have to come back here to Abuja for
the Holiday. Do you hear me? Your entire family lives here, and considering
all the money we spend on you to go to school, you owe us, at least, the
pleasure of having you home with us during this time. Besides, I know the
university is vacating soon, and everyone will be going home. What are you
going to be doing in Lagos all alone? Eh?

HARRISON: I have lots of things to do here in Lagos. Just because we’re going on
a break does not mean I don't have unfinished school work to complete. I'm
in University, mum, not Secondary school.

MOTHER: You have school work to complete. Okay, tell me what they are, Mr.
Bookman. Tell me since you're the first one to go to school. I want to know
what is now more important than spending time with your family.

36
HARRISON: Calm down, mum. Look, I have two papers to write, a presentation to
prepare for, and a project that's due in the first week of next semester. And I
am not the only one working on this project, so it’s not like I have the leisure
of pursuing it at my own pace and time. I am part of a team, and we already
made plans to meet during the Holiday to discuss our ideas. I can’t disappoint
my teammates, mum. That will be so messed up.

MOTHER: Oh, but it’s okay to disappoint your family? Right?

HARRISON: C'mon, don't make it sound like that. You know I can’t just abandon
these plans. It’s schoolwork.

MOTHER: Harrison, listen to me. Your father and I are only concerned about your
wellbeing. Before you left for Lagos, I thought I’d have the time to visit you
frequently. But you know how busy and chaotic things can be here in Abuja
for us. And now, with this new appointment I got with the foreign ministry, I
barely even have time for myself. But it’s okay, I understand. I know you have
things to do in Lagos. You want to focus on your schoolwork. That’s fine.
Maybe I can come and visit you over—

HARRISON: No, mum. Please, no. There’s no need for you to come. I’m alright.
Why do you always have to do this? I’m not a kid anymore. I can take care of
myself.

MOTHER: Oh, Harrison. Are you sure? I won’t stay for long. I can take a morning
flight and—

HARRISON: No. I said there's no need for you to come. I’m fine.

MOTHER: Okay, okay, I get it. But do you need anything? Do you want us to send
you some money?

37
HARRISON: No. I mean, yes. Money, I need some money.

MOTHER: You’re always running out of money, Harrison. Where does all your
money go? Okay, I’ll send you some money. And I’ll tell your father to send
you more when he gets back from his trip. Is that okay?

HARRISON: Yes. But please, make it quick. I barely have anything left in my
account.

MOTHER: Okay, I’ll do that once I get to work this morning. Did you get your—

HARRISON: Uh, I have to go now, mum. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.

(Harrison hangs up, then slumps into the chair. He exhales hard. Lights.)

38
 Scene 4

(Diana leads Harrison up the platform and straight to her bed. She asks him to sit
and wait, then goes downstairs to the bar to fetch two cold bottles of beer and two
glass cups. She carries the tray back up and pours the beers into the cups, then makes
herself comfortable beside him.)

DIANA: You know, it was really nice what you did for me the other day. Not too
many guys would have stepped in to help. I’m so grateful.

HARRISON: Oh, that? No, it’s okay. It was nothing. I only did what I felt was right.
How are you now?

DIANA: I’m all right. It is you I should inquire; that was a really nasty fight.

HARRISON: It was nothing. I was just dealing with an idiot, an ignoramus with no
respect for anyone. He is lucky I was only able to lay my hands on a bottle
that day.

(Diana laughs.)

HARRISON: What is it?

DIANA: Nothing.

HARRISON: You think I’m funny?

DIANA: I think you’re funny in a cute way.

HARRISON: Hmph.

DIANA: So tell me, how’s life treating you? I hear you study at the big university
here in Lagos.

39
HARRISON: Ah, life has been fair so far. I love the energy here in Lagos; you know,
all that hustling and vibrancy that seem to possess everyone and everything.
It’s very different from home. I feel alive here even though there’s so much
pain. But that’s just life. Right? Even the prettiest flowers have their thorns.

DIANA: I understand. But your father is a very rich and powerful man. I see him on
the television all the time. Why do you have to go to school? Why do you
choose to live the way we live? It is true every flower has its thorns, but there
can't be any up there where you live.

HARRISON: That’s what you think. But you have no idea what it feels like to be
born yet forced to remain in your eggshell. You don't know what it feels like
to be denied the illuminating face of reality, so much so that you grow without
knowing who you are or where you belong in the universe. The pain is self-
destructive, and when it becomes too large to be contained, it births a rebellion
that seeks to destroy everything you ever thought was true. Believe it or not,
this is where all the fun and excitement are. Down here in the slums of the
common man, I have much more to gain. A world awaits my discovery, and
there is no one to tell me what it is. And if you must know, knowledge is the
best gift a man can give himself. A woman too, of course, for it is the only
way to liberate your soul from the damnation that comes with ignorance. Do
you go to school?

(Diana shakes her head.)

Why? That’s terrible.

(Diana shrugs.)

DIANA: I dropped out of junior secondary school after my father passed away
because no one could pay the fees anymore. I started helping my mother out
40
 at her shed in the market, but she wanted me to go live with my father's
brother..., oh, forget it anyway, I don’t like to think about those days.

HARRISON: Not after you’ve started. C'mon, please. Tell me. I want to know your
story.

(Diana inhales and exhales.)

DIANA: I didn’t like the idea of going to live with my father's brother. He was the
one who had seized everything my father owned after he passed away. But
my mother was so desperate to please him. She thought sending me away to
serve my late father’s brother at his home would prove her loyalty and love
for the family. She was probably right, but I was the one who suffered the cost
of those favours she sought, for with my body and sweat, I paid for the things
that were rightfully ours. During those six months I spent in that house, I toiled
all day like a horse, and at night, satisfied that wicked man’s deviant desires
while his wife snored upstairs like a pig. But, you know, I didn’t know at first,
that I was the sacrificial lamb meant to appease my uncle’s evil heart until I
ran back home one evening and found all the things I thought he had taken
away from us. And what made everything so sad was that my mother was in
the living room that evening, making my sister’s hair and watching television
as if everything in the world was okay. Not once since I left did she bother to
look for me, and yet she had the gut to ask me why I had come back. That’s
the painful thing about betrayal. It comes from those closest to you. Even
when I told her about the dirty things father’s brother did to me and how he
and his family made me work so hard I grew blisters on my palms, she refused
to hear me out. She swore I was a liar. But beneath those words, I thought I
heard her weeping, mourning for her dead daughter. And she was right. I had
already dead. I was only oblivious to it then.
41
HARRISON: So what happened? Did she let you stay?

DIANA: No, she took me back to my father’s brother’s house. But I was determined
not to stay there anymore, so I ran away again, but not to my mother this time.
I wasn't that stupid. When I escaped the second time, I just wanted to be as far
away as possible from my uncle’s house, so I bought a bus ticket to Lagos
with the money I stole from his wife. When I got to Lagos, I was lost and
confused. I didn’t know where to go or who to ask for help. I wandered the
streets for almost a week without any food or water until one night, just when
I began to think I was better off dead, I met this beautiful girl named Amara,
who brought me here and introduced me to Mama. Oh, Mama fell in love with
me the moment she saw me. I’m not lying. You can ask her yourself. She says
it all the time, and it makes the other girls jealous. She used to call me her
daughter. She still does, but not as much as she did back then when I first
came here. She adored me so much then she wouldn’t even let the men touch
me. I was her jewel, and she liked to show me off. I was the bait that lured
men to her bar, and she was the one who showed me my strength and taught
me how to make good use of my comeliness. But things started to change after
Amara suddenly grew sick and died. They said she had AIDS, that terrible
illness that sucks the life out of its victims until they become shrivelled like a
dead leaf. Oh, you would have wept if you saw what she became. May her
good soul rest in peace. When she died, Mama needed someone to take her
place, so she put me to work as the other girls. At first, I hated spreading my
legs open to every man willing to put some money in Mama’s cookie jar
because it made me feel like I was back in my uncle’s house again. But alcohol
and drugs helped drown the pain until I stopped feeling anything. Sometimes,
I think I am going to end up like Amara.

42
(Silence.)

Hey, don’t do that. Snap out of it!

HARRISON: What?

DIANA: That face. You don’t have to feel bad for me.

HARRISON: No, I'm not…, It’s just that, sometimes I wonder…,

DIANA: You wonder what?

HARRISON: I wonder why the world is so lopsided.

DIANA: What do you mean?

HARRISON: Here I am, rejecting everything I have, and yet there are many out
there who would do anything to be in my shoes. Look, I don't know who your
uncle is, but he needs to pay for what he put you through.

DIANA: Forget it, Harrison. That was a long time ago, and I have moved on. Don’t
try to open old wounds.

HARRISON: Sure, but if you let that monster get away with what he did to you, he
might do it someone else.

(Diana shrugs.)

DIANA: That’s none of my business. But even if I choose to fight him, it will be a
waste of time and effort. You know how things are in this country. A woman
like me can never get justice because no one will be patient enough to listen.

HARRISON: You are right. But that is not how things ought to be. Everyone,
regardless of their status, should have equal access to justice and the

43
 necessities of life. That’s how it works in other places. But don’t worry. I’ll
change things someday and make it all better.

DIANA: And how do you plan to do that? Mama says we can't change the world.
We can only adjust ourselves to flow better with it. And besides, don’t you
think you're challenging a system that feeds you, one that has been quite fair
to you?

HARRISON: We may not be able to change the world, but we can change our
lifestyle and the society we’ve constructed for ourselves. And you may not be
able to change the hearts of people, but you can change their habits. You can
regulate their behaviours and attitudes towards one another. There are only
two kinds of occurrences in the universe: those caused by man and those
which transcend him, those subject to his will and those that cannot be bent
by his will. But if you ask my opinion, I don’t believe that there is anything
that the will of man cannot bend unless it is that which gave birth to his soul.
All limitations and suffering stem from ignorance, and sometimes, the
wickedness and greed of a selected few. I will not be part of those few.

DIANA: Those words are easier said than done. It’s a tough road.

HARRISON: It is, but a road I’m willing to walk.

(Pause.)

Do you like me?

(Diana is startled by the question.)

DIANA: I don’t know. Do you?

HARRISON: I think I do. I think I like you very much. More than any girl I’ve ever
met or been with before. Forgive me for saying this, but I—
44
DIANA: No, it’s okay. There’s no need to apologize. I like you too.

HARRISON: You feel the same way? Look, it’s hard to explain it, but you have no
idea what you do to me whenever you show up at the bar. There’s something
about you that I don’t see in the other girls. It’s true you’re the most beautiful
one amongst them, but you also have this demeanour, the way you dance, the
way you talk, the way you stare into space when engrossed in your thoughts,
it’s like I’ve known—

(Diana pulls him in suddenly and gives him a long kiss. He is stunned but relaxes
quickly. They begin to smooch passionately. Lights.)

45
 Scene 5

(The bar is full and lively. Diana is sitting next to Harrison, who has a newspaper
in his hand.)

HARRISON: Reading the papers these days makes me so depressed. You find
nothing in them but bad news and very little hope.

DIANA: Then stop reading them. It's not that difficult. Look, why don’t you have
more of this. It’ll make you feel better.

(She passes him a blunt which he takes and inhales deeply.)

HARRISON: Sometimes, I just wish I could make sense of all this evil in our society.
Like, why do we have to oppress and fight each other all the time when there’s
enough space for everyone to live peacefully? Look at this: Fuel tanker
explodes on Marina Bridge, killing thirty people. Fifteen feared dead as
bandits invade a community. Journalist detained indefinitely for exposing a
commissioner’s alleged bribe video. Man has teeth removed, paraded publicly
for alleged theft and non-compliance under police custody.

(Diana takes the newspaper from him and scans it. She shakes her head.)

DIANA: I know. Things are really bad right now, but you shouldn't let that bother
you. Maybe, someday, when you become a minister like your father, you can
finally do something about all these problems. Hm?

HARRISON: I don’t want to be anything like my father. Nothing inspires me about

that man.

DIANA: Oh, don’t say that. I’m sure you still love him . You’re just upset.

46
HARRISON: He’s a criminal and a thief! He’s part of the people we should blame
for all the problems in this country!

(Sam, who has been eavesdropping on their conversation, begins to clap his hands
as he chimes in unreservedly.)

SAM: You really are one stubborn, radical piece of bud, eh? I mean, look at you.
Who would have thought that the son of a prominent minister would be here
in a brothel, complaining bitterly about the hardships of the common man?
No, I am impressed. I give you my salute.

HARRISON: Say whatever you want, but I mean my words. I am not my father. I
have my path to walk. Besides, have you even read the papers? The problems
we are facing affect everyone, whether rich or poor, northerner or southerner,
Christian or Muslim.

(Harrison stands. He is drawing the attention of everyone at the bar.)

So it’s high time we put our differences aside and come together to let these
people in power know that we will no longer tolerate their inefficiency! I'm
sick and tired of all this violence and brutality, and I'm sure you are too! Only
last week, the papers and blogs were filled with reports of a young man who
had to empty his bank account to avoid being lynched by the police. And now,
today, we hear of another man who had his teeth pulled out, three of them, all
because he refused to confess to a crime he did not commit. What sort of a
country is this? What kind of leaders do we have? Even in our own country,
we are made to live like slaves!

(Long sighs and comments.)

47
 They’ve made it clear several times—our leaders. They don’t care about us:
they don’t care about our lives, our sufferings or our future. The only thing
that bothers them is that which threatens their power! The voice and action of
the people! Our collective will! That is what scares them!

(Concurring remarks.)

Yes, they’ve made it clear by their actions that we are nothing but dogs to
them, footsteps on their climb to power and bearers of their palanquins!

(Angry remarks.)

And haven’t we had enough! Aren’t we tired of suffering under this

oppressive regime that has no value for justice and equality! Have we
completely lost sight of who we are, of our soul and dignity, that we would
rather submit to this beast of a government than fight for our rights!

(Angry remarks.)

They take away our freedom and money and leave us with nothing but poor
infrastructures and a rotten educational and health care system. They take
away everything from us then tell us to go to hell—

(Angry remarks interrupt.)

And yet, we hail them when we encounter them in the streets and our
neighbourhoods; we encourage them by stomaching our miseries and keeping
silent in the face of their crimes. But you know what this means when we
don’t voice our sufferings? We basically say, hey, look, we consent to your
misrule! We’re okay with your incompetency!

(Angry remarks.)

48
 But we shall let them know soon enough! Those bastards! And they never get
satisfied with all the money they steal from us. Today, one billion goes
missing; tomorrow it’s ten; the day after, it’s one hundred! Where all the
money goes, no one ever knows!

(Angry yells.)

Corruption! It is a disease that has eaten deep into our bones. And even though
it kills us, even though it stinks enough to wake a dead man from his grave, it
doesn’t bother us. We’ve become so desensitized to it that we merely turn our
heads at the sight of it and pretend it’s not there! So tell me, must we wait
until there’s nothing left in this country for our children to inherit before we
react! Must we wait until this venom reaches our heart before we stand up to
save ourselves!

(Angry yells.)

I say let’s show our leaders our strength! Let’s tell them we’ve had enough!

(Angry yells get louder as the visitors in the bar break into a wild frenzy. Mama Rosa
is not pleased.)

SAM: The boy is right! We’ve been stupid for way too long. Asleep and unbothered
by the atrocities committed by those we voted into power and of those sworn
to protect us! Now is the time to act, to kick them hard in the butt, to let them
know that we are no longer asleep!

(Concurring yells.)

We have nothing to lose so don’t be afraid! Don’t be scared to take back what
rightfully belongs to us! We shall fight them with everything we’ve got, and
if we die fighting, then we die for good!

49
(Concurring yells erupt and the bar visitors break into a wild frenzy once again.
Determined to make another speech, Harrison climbs on a chair.)

HARRISON: Now, listen, please! Everyone, be quiet! I have something very

important to say!

(The bar quietens.)

I don’t mean to stray from our conversation tonight, but you see, I’ve got this
thing in my heart that I really would like to share. I’ve heard that the path of
every man is to search and not to know peace until he finds. Well, I have been
searching, and I have found. I have found myself a damsel.

(Murmurings.)

Yes, it’s true. Look at her.

(He beckons Diana, and she walks shyly to him.)

I never knew I could be so willing to give my entire self to someone; or that I

could find satisfaction and rest in one woman until I met her.

(Murmurings get louder.)

I’m not pulling your legs. I mean every word I say, though no amount of words
I speak will do justice to what I feel for this woman. But if you must know
about our love, it springs like a new rose, and I would run to the ends of the
earth just to hold her hands and stroke her hair. I would—

(Mama Rosa interrupts.)

MAMA ROSA: Aww, isn’t that beautiful? We have a true romantic in the house.
Oh, reminds me of my earlier days. All those hopes and dreams that drove the
adventures of our youth. But I think we should dance now to save the night.

50
 Eh? We don’t want to wear the drinks away on talks that might invite trouble.
Music. Music, please!

(One of the girls runs over to the sound system and turns it on. A hit record starts to
play, and everyone begins to dance wildly. Diana pulls Harrison down from the chair
and brings him to CS. She dances all over him seductively to entice him, and the bar
visitors form a dance circle around the couple. Harrison dances clumsily at first but
soon adjusts his steps to the rhythm of the beats. The bar visitors cheer. Soon, Diana
and Harrison join the circle, and Sam takes the stage to show off his dance moves.
He dances excitedly until one of the girls joins him. Everyone cheers as the duo
engages in an erotic dance. Soon, they join the circle again and are replaced by
someone else, who dances until another participant comes forward to replace him.
The jamming continues until the music comes to an abrupt end. Lights.)

51
 Scene 6

(The room on the deck. A scantily clad Diana puts her makeup on, while Harrison,
who only has his briefs and an unbuttoned shirt on, sits at the edge of the bed with a
worried expression on his face.)

DIANA: You don’t look fine. Are you alright?

(Silence.)

Harrison?

HARRISON: Yes, what is it?

DIANA: Is everything okay?

(Harrison shrugs.)

HARRISON: How am I to know? Does everything look okay? You tell me.

DIANA: Look, Harrison, if there’s something bothering you about me, then let me
know. I’ve noticed there’s always a drastic change in your mood after we
make love. You become so cold and irritable you seem like a completely
different person.

HARRISON: It’s not you, Diana. It’s me. Well, I don't know. Maybe it’s the two of
us. Maybe it's this. Tell me. Is it normal, this thing we're doing? Is this really
what our relationship is all about? Us deriving pleasure as we indulge in our
animalistic desires? Is sex and money all that we have to offer each other?
Don’t you feel an emptiness after all the romping and orgasms? Don’t you
feel racked with guilt and confusion? I mean, relationships are built on love,
not lust and—

DIANA: I don’t understand. I thought you said you love me.

52
HARRISON: Yes, I do. I really do. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t be concerned
enough to tell you how I feel. I would have just walked away because it’s so
much easier that way. Look, I just feel like there has to be more to our
relationship. I have all these desires for you that manifest when we make love.
But the truth is, I’m not sure what lies beyond those desires, and it makes me
scared; scared that I may not be able to commit myself to you even though my
heart wants to.

DIANA: But I love you the way you are. You don’t have to change yourself. Nature
has—

HARRISON: No, it’s wrong. This is wrong for you and me. Look at it, Diana. You
say I am rich and intelligent, you say I am handsome and courageous, but the
truth is you have no idea what it’s like on the inside. I’m always hurting, and
I always feel alone.

DIANA: But everyone feels that way, Harrison. It’s not just you.

HARRISON: You’re probably right. But there is a gaping void in me that drives my
tireless pursuit for pleasure, a defect you may not understand because it is a
cross borne by only a few men. And this is what the torture feels like: the more
pleasure I get, the wider the void grows, and the more frustrated and needy I
become. It is an animal that refuses to be satisfied. And though I seek solace
in books and contemplation, the irrational will not bow to the rational. See, I
am sick with a disease that eats away my heart, and it terrifies me that I may
soon become that which I despise; a man without a conscience, a destructive
force backed by a corrupt patriarchal system.

53
DIANA: To be honest, Harrison, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you.
You’re just like every other man I’ve met. And trust me, I’ve been with a lot
of men.

HARRISON: A man must be ruled by logic, not the cravings and passions of his
body. Just because the majority of men partake in evil does not make their
behaviour right.

DIANA: Okay, you know what? You don’t have to pay me for what we just did.

HARRISON: No, don’t do that, please.

DIANA: It’s okay if it will make you feel better. If it will make it apparent to you
that we do have something real going on between us.

(She kisses him on the cheek and leaves, and he sits on the bed for a while, thinking
to himself.)

HARRISON: She doesn’t understand…, no one does.

(His mobile phone starts to ring, and he is startled by it. He gets up and begins to
search for the phone. When he finds it, he answers hurriedly. It’s his mother.)

MOTHER: Hello, Harrison, where have you been? Oh, your father and I have been
so worried. Did you hear about the riots? People are protesting all over the
country. I heard it’s even happening at the university there in Lagos. Are you
okay? Please, make sure you don’t join that madness. I know you’re a good
child and will keep your distance. But your father, he is so worried. He wants
you to keep a low profile. He says if things continue this way, we’ll have to
send you to America to complete your studies. I think it’s a good—

HARRIOSN: I’m not going anywhere, mum.

54
MOTHER: What?

HARRISON: I’m not going to America. I’m not leaving here.

MOTHER: Oh, Harrison, don’t talk like that. You know your father and I both love
you and want nothing but the best for you. These people are angry. If they
know who your father is, they could harm you. Look, your father plans to see
you soon. He’s already chartered a flight to Lagos. I think he’ll be there—

HARRISON: He already did what? Why didn’t he tell me before arranging to come
for a visit? I’m not going to see him, mum. I’m not! And look, I have to talk
to someone now. So bye!

(He hangs up, paces around the room for a bit, then sits back down on the bed.
Lights.)

55
 Scene 7

(Mama Rosa comes onstage with a document in her hand. She is upset.)

MAMA ROSA: Diana! Diana!

DIANA: Yes, Mama!

MAMA ROSA: Come here this moment!

Diana: Yes, Mama, I’m coming!

(A moment and Diana appears onstage.)

DIANA: Yes, Mama, is there a problem?

MAMA ROSA: You tell me! What is this nonsense I found in your room!

(Diana takes the document from Mama. She starts to panic when she recognizes it.)

MAMA ROSA: Diana, what is that paper? Is it true?

(Diana doesn’t respond.)

Oh, so you want to play deaf and dumb with me, eh? Okay, just wait here. I’ll
be right back.

(Mama Rosa makes to leave so she can get a cane to whip Diana. But Diana begins
to weep; she pulls Mama Rosa back.)

DIANA: No, Mama! Please don’t! It was that man who drives the yellow jeep. He
called me a few months ago to tell me he had tested positive for HIV. We hadn’t
used a condom, so he told me to go check myself. I was so worried, but I knew that
wouldn’t help. I knew the only way to be sure was to take a test. So I went over to
the clinic across the river for a blood test and, and it came back positive.

MAMA ROSA: Oh, Diana, but why didn’t you tell me?
56
(Mama Rosa is weeping too.)

DIANA: I was ashamed of myself, Mama! I felt dirty and useless! I thought if you
knew about it, you wouldn’t need me here anymore. I thought if I hid my status from
everyone, everything would be just fine. Please, Mama, don’t make me go! I have
nowhere else to go!

MAMA ROSA: Oh, stop that, Diana. How can I send you away? Aren’t you my
little jewel? Come here. Wipe away those tears. You know what crying too much
can do to a pretty face like yours, hmm? Stop crying. It’s okay. It’s not the end of
the world, as long as we get you on a treatment plan quickly. But one else must know
about this document, okay? It’ll be just between the two of us, hmm? Now, come,
let’s talk somewhere private.

(Mama Rosa leads Diana away.)

Does he know about this?

DIANA: No, Mama, I didn’t tell him.

MAMA ROSA: Good. He must never know. I don’t want any trouble.

(Lights.)

57
 Scene 8

(The pastor walks into the bar, wearing the appearance of one who has lost his way.
But the truth is that he is quite curious and interested in the setting. When Harrison
notices him, he runs down from the platform to meet him.)

HARRISON: Pastor! Pastor! One moment, please! Pastor!

PASTOR: Young man, what is it? Have you gone mad?

HARRISON: Forgive me pastor, I have a confession to make.

PASTOR: Who told you I am a pastor? Have we met before?

HARRISON: No, but I’ve seen you with a loudspeaker, preaching the word in the
streets a few times. I’m sure you are the one.

PASTOR: Well, today is not Sunday. Your senses should tell you I am not on duty.
Go away.

HARRISON: But pastor, you have to help me. My soul is in jeopardy, and I’m in
desperate need of salvation. I’m sure it was God who brought you here so you
can assist me.

(The pastor looks over his shoulder.)

PASTOR: Ahh, you are the one the Lord told me about. Hmph! I see it clearly now.
The answers to all your problems were shown to me in a vision a few nights
ago. Oh yes. Do not be afraid. I was only testing your faith by feigning
ignorance. Yes, but you see, you must, err, give me a little gift before I reveal
the solution to your predicament. Hmph! And you better do so quickly for this
pit you are in is a very, very deep one! In fact, if you do not act now, the
enemy will bury you in less than a week!

58
HARRISON: I forbid it!

(Harrison digs into his pockets and takes out all the money he has.)

Here, manage this, please. It is all I have at the moment.

(The pastor takes the money and puts it in his pocket.)

PASTOR: It is nothing, but I accept it. You said you have a confession to make.
Why don’t we start from there? Tell me what it is.

HARRISON: Pastor, look, it is a terrible sin I wish to confess. One that troubles me
all the time, even to the extent that I find it hard to sleep at night.

PASTOR: What is it, young man? Feel free. Pour out your heart to me.

HARRISON: I have a problem with sex and alcohol.

PASTOR: Hmph! Go on.

HARRISON: And I can’t stop. I think I might be addicted.

PASTOR: Go on. Let it all out.

HARRISON: It’s been going on for some time, about two and a half years now. But
I didn’t realize it was a problem until I tried to pull out. I didn’t know I was
trapped until I felt a terrible itch, a need to scratch. Pastor, I am lost and in
need of help. See, everything really began a long time ago when my childhood
was stolen from me. I was reprogrammed with the seed of rebellion, then left
alone to seek in a world astray. And the thought of it makes me weak pastor,
a coward before my demons. The harder I try to flee from my chains, the
harder I fail, and there is never another soul to blame but my miserable self.
I’m angry at the world, and I’m angry at myself. I’m furious because I have
been cheated by God. I mask my weaknesses and bitterness, all my filth and

59
 vices, with demonstrations of courage and strength. I lick my wounds to
soothe the pains in my heart, to pacify the restless storm that ravages my
peace. I puke at the feet of my parents to take my revenge, to make them feel
my desolation and fear. And yet, I cannot overcome the thought that I am
wayward and that my life is meaningless. For, no matter how much I try, my
dreams will not reconcile with what life truly is, or the things I was taught to
believe with the path that lies ahead of me. Several times have I cried to the
heavens, sought light in this darkness that confines me, tried to break away
from this cycle of pleasure and pain, yet my efforts have come to naught. Tell
me, pastor, do I embrace the devil and become that which I detest? Would it
not be an abomination that I allow what is divine succumb to the animal in
me? Oh, and my spirit, he pities my plight. He says I am not different from
anyone else, only self-conscious, for I have partaken of the forbidden fruit,
and my eyes have beheld my nakedness. See, I am a babe with the mind of a
man and a man at the table of gods. I am an impatient youth whose head aches
from too many books. I long to be a liberator, like Nkrumah and Lumumba,
like Kenyatta, Mandela and Sankara, yet I cannot unbind myself from the
inner shackles that suppress me. So, I remain a kettle that whistles in vain, a
travelling vessel with no destination. And though my heart finds shelter in the
gentle, accepting embrace of a young woman, I am ever worried I will break
her heart. And forgive me pastor, for the woman I speak of is a prostitute. Like
me, she too carries the seed of rebellion, but hers is a fire that dances proudly
in her eyes. Yes, she is the unapologetic type, but I am in love. You may think
I am a fool to love such a woman, but her beauty will bring any man to his
knees. And the sins she teaches me in bed, I will rather not say pastor, or you
would conclude without doubt that I am condemned. Yes, she takes

60
 lovemaking to a whole new height, but the aftertaste is as bitter as gall. So
here I am, desperate still for salvation.

(Just as Harrison finishes his confession, chaos breaks out in the form of a noisy
altercation: the blaring of car horns, the shouts of people protesting and the cling-
clangs of clashing metals can be heard amid other indistinct sounds. The amplitude
of the noise gradually increases until it peaks at an almost deafening intensity. Then
a group of angry protesters, about six or seven of them, run onstage and swoop the
Pastor and Harrison away. The lights fade out, and the noise continues for a while
before fading out as well. Then the ecstatic beats of drums float in and pick up
gradually as the lights slowly fade back in to reveal Diana dancing wildly and
seductively, as if possessed by an unseen force, to the rhythm of the drums. She
dances until she is exhausted, then collapses on a chair, and the lights fade out once
again with the drums. When the lights fade back in, Diana is sitting at the bar in the
company of the other girls. The mood is light and friendly as they chat.)

61
 Scene 9

FATIMA: You won’t believe what happened a few days ago. You know that tall
man with an afro, the one who’s usually here in the afternoon? He came over
as usual and decided to spend his time with me. I told him I was not in the
mood, but he kept on insisting. Then he dragged me into the inner room and
began taking off his clothes hurriedly. When I finally told him, look, I can’t
do anything with you today because I’m on my period, do you know what the
idiot said?

DIANA: No, tell us please.

FATIMA: He told me, eh, you better do that your period another day because
nothing is going to stop me from collecting you today. I was lost for words
when I heard that. I think that man is the dumbest of all the men who come
here.

(Laughter.)

It sounds funny now, but it wasn’t funny then. I had to throw out the sheet
after that. And Mama was so angry, she made me replace it with my
allowance.

DIANA: Oh, I remember that now. I’m so sorry.

FATIMA: No, it’s okay.

CINDY: Hey, what about that grandpa that comes here on the weekends? The one
who likes to wear the orange cardigan. Sandra says he’s just a blowhard
talkative. By her account, he lacks strength in bed.

(Laughter.)

62
SANDRA: It’s true. Go with him, and he’ll expect you to do all the work.

FATIMA: I always avoid that one whenever he’s here. I’ll never see him no matter
how much he pays me.

DIANA: Aww, but that’s just because he reminds you of your father. I mean, to be
honest, I don’t mind. He’s not bad-looking for his age.

FATIMA: Yuck! Not to me.

DIANA: Whatever. At least he’s not like that good-for-nothing Sam. Have you guys
noticed how bad that guy stinks?

(Laughter.)

SANDRA: Yes, but he’s well experienced. He knows his way around a woman’s
body.

DIANA: Well experienced, but with an empty pocket.

(Laughter.)

CINDY: True, Sam will never give you a tip even when he has the money.

DIANA: I don’t think he ever has any money with him. Mama says he owes her two
full crates of beer. Can you imagine? And with the way he keeps coming back
here and begging Mama to let him in, it’s obvious he’s lost his sense of shame
and dignity.

SANDRA: I don’t know. I feel sorry for Sam sometimes.

DIANA: What’s wrong with you? You feel sorry for all the men who come here.

SANDRA: Yes, because they all seem lonely. Or haven't you noticed?

63
DIANA: Ta! Is it because of those pleas they make with their eyes? Don’t be
deceived, my dear. Those men are getting more from us than you can ever
imagine.

FATIMA: You're right. I have no feelings for them. They are nothing but dogs who'll
do anything to get their cocks wet.

DIANA: Mama knows just exactly how to deal with them. Take their money and let
them have all the pleasure they want, then kick them out and shut your door
before they can collect their thoughts.

(Laughter.)

But sometimes, I can’t help but wonder what it feels like to be a guy. To walk
around with that dangling piece of meat in-between your legs and act tough at
the slightest opportunity you get. I don’t know. It doesn’t sound like fun to
me.

CINDY: Yes, but men are so lucky. They get treated better all the time. My mother
used to spoil my little brother with all the love and attention she could afford
just because he was the only boy. Sometimes, I think she forgot she had other
children to take care of.

FATIMA: I understand. My cousin kicked his wife out of his house with the full
support of his entire family just because she kept giving him girls. I used to
feel so sorry for the poor woman even though I was only a child then. She was
so lost and helpless.

SANDRA: That is so sad. But I hear it’s the opposite in America. The women there
get better treatment than the men. In fact, a man in America can go to jail just
for slapping his wife.

64
DIANA: If only that were the case here in Nigeria, half of our men would be in jail
by now!

(Laughter.)

Anyways, Harrison claims it’s not easy being a man. He says it comes with
burdens we women would never understand.

FATIMA: Sure, that’s what they all say. But speaking of Harrison, tell us what’s
been going on between the two of you lately.

CINDY: Ah, yes, he doesn’t see anyone anymore unless it’s you.

SANDRA: And he always brings you flowers and gifts which, to be honest, makes
me quite jealous.

DIANA: No! Go away! I’m not telling you anything.

FATIMA: You will! Fast! Don’t let her get away!

(Diana attempts to run, and the girls give her a playful but determined chase around
the bar. After much effort, they succeed in cornering and bringing her back to her
seat.)

FATIMA: There’s nowhere to run now, Diana. So tell us, do you love him?

SANDRA: She does. Look at her eyes.

(Fatima starts to sing a nursery rhyme, and the other girls join.)

FATIMA: Diana and Harrison sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love,
then comes marriage, then comes a baby—

DIANA: Stop! Okay, I’ll tell you. I promise.

FATIMA: We’re waiting. Out with it.

65
DIANA: I don’t know. He’s a good guy.

FATIMA: What do you mean he’s a good guy?

DIANA: I think he’s better than most, if not all, the men who come here. Like, have
you noticed how easy it is to predict him because he doesn’t hide his feelings?
And it’s true he can be quite emotional a times, but he also exudes so much
confidence and insight, you can’t help but, but …,

SANDRA: But what?

DIANA: I don’t know.

FATIMA: Oh, c’mon, Diana.

DIANA: Look, that’s not the point. Sometimes I like him. Sometimes I just feel
sorry for him.

SANDRA: So, you’re saying you don’t feel anything different for him?

DIANA: No, don’t get me wrong. He’s different to me. But, but, he’s not the one I
need.

(The girls gasp in astonishment. They shake their heads, rub their hands and shrug
their shoulders in disappointment, then walk away, leaving Diana all alone with her
thoughts. The noise of protests, blaring car horns, and clashing metals returns and
Diana is startled by it. She gathers a few things: cups, bottles, plates, etcetera and
hurries offstage. Like before, the amplitude of the noise increases gradually, then
peaks at an almost deafening intensity before fading out. When the noise dies,
Harrison and Sam barge into the bar with about six or seven people behind them, the
Pastor now included, and each of them carrying placards in their hands. Together,
they stomp around the bar chanting a protest song led by Harrison. After a while,
Harrison raises his hand to silence them.)
66
HARRISON: Listen up. We must all be strong and fearless. Don’t let them get the
notion that this is just one of our usual noisemaking. No! We mean business
this time. We are not interested in their cajoling words and dirty bribes. We
are not scared of their threats and their barbaric police force. No! Today is the
day we take back our country from this wicked cabal that has sworn not to
allow social justice and freedom to reign! Today is the day we show them our
strength!

PROTESTERS: Yee!

HARRISON: Yes, we must let them know that we’ve had enough of their lies and
evil schemes. They keep telling us they’re doing this and that for us; they keep
promising us that things will get better each year, but we are not stupid, at
least, not anymore. We know that the only thing that keeps them busy is
finding new ways to oppress and milk us dry. And for how long must we
endure? How many times have we looked the other way as they feasted and
enriched themselves on the money generated from our wealth and resources,
leaving the masses poor and impoverished? How many times have we looked
the other way while they make decisions and cook up policies that only favour
them? How many times have we watched cluelessly, like a herd of sheep, as
they smothered our civil rights and liberties? No! We’ve had enough! Every
time you open the papers, all you see is bloodshed and police brutality, the
results of an outdated system and a frustrated population. So, today we fight
them tit for tat! But don’t be misguided! We do not fight with planks and guns!
We fight with our voice and will! We fight with purpose and unity! And we
fight still because we have been pushed to the wall!

PROTESTERS: Yee!

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HARRISON: Yes, we fight now because for more than fifty years we’ve allowed
ourselves to be ruled by people without our interest at heart: Wicked men in
uniforms and greedy bureaucrats who do nothing but parade themselves in
expensive garbs and cars. We fight now because we are sick and tired of the
incessant killings happening all over the country—a situation that has gotten
so bad you can’t even tell the wolves from the dogs anymore. We fight now
because we want a country we can all call home, a place where our children
can grow with the firm conviction in mind that anything is indeed possible;
that there is no mountain too high for them to climb and no river too wide for
them to cross; that it is a great blessing to be born a Nigerian because our land
is beautiful and there is nothing wrong with the colour green!

PROTESTERS: Yee!

HARRISON: So, let us march down the streets of Lagos with voices raised to the
sky until our leaders are forced to wake up from their slumber! Let us shake
the grounds until they fall from their high offices! Let us remind them that
true power belongs to the people whom they were elected to serve! Let us be
fearless! Let us fight!

PROTESTERS: Yee!

SAM: Yes, I am angry and ready to fight too! Look at me, why shouldn’t I? I am
always working but have nothing to show for it! Like an elephant, I labour,
yet like an ant, I eat! Even as I stand here with you, I am not sure where my
next meal will come from! Every year, things get tough, and all our leaders
ever do is tell us to buckle our belts and sit tight! All they ever do is invent
ways to make us bear the consequences of their mistakes and misdeeds! But
we are tired! We can no longer go on like this! We’ve been in this tunnel for

68
 too long, so they better show us the light now or step aside! Yes, we will not
suffer anymore! We will not let our country rot before our eyes! They say a
hungry man is an angry man, and today, our leaders shall bear witness to that!

PROTESTERS: Yee!

SAM: Today, they shall know that we too are strong! That we can do to them what
they’ve been doing to us!

PROTESTERS: Yee!

SAM: Now let us go out there and fight them with everything we have!

(The protesters become wild as they break into another song of protest. Like before,
Harrison leads the song. They are about to leave the bar to begin their planned march
when Diana and the girls bump into them.)

DIANA: Harrison, what is it with all these yellings? Are you really going to join the
demonstration?

HARRISON: Yes my love, I must participate in the cause, for you see, we’re
standing at a turning point in our history right now, and our success in this
demand for change depends on how determined we are in this fight for
freedom and justice. Look, why don’t you come with me? It’ll be great to have
you by my side while I make my speech at the Independence Square.

DIANA: Oh, no, Harrison. I have to stay back and help Mama. She’ll kill me if I
leave the bar.

HARRISON: Okay, I’ll come and see you as soon as I get back so I can tell you how
it went. Besides, there’s something I need to say to you. It’ll be the perfect
time.

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DIANA: Okay, go. I’ll be waiting here.

(Harrison kisses Diana on the cheek, then joins his fellow protesters, who sing as
they march away. Their voices fade into the distance and are replaced by the chaotic
noise of protests and confrontations. However, the noise is soon followed by the
deafening sound of gunshots. Terrified by the shots, Diana and the girls hurry
offstage in the opposite direction. The noise of protests dies, but the gunshots
continue for a while. When the sounds of gunshots finally stop, a grave silence is
left behind, and the lights dim low, making it quite impossible to see the stage. A
few seconds, maybe minutes, pass and the unsteady sound of footsteps are heard
onstage. A couple can be heard giggling and kissing, and soon, the flirtatious noise
is followed by the sounds of clothes coming off, the creaking of furniture, and the
grunts, moans and gasps of pleasure. Then, a male voice sighs in relief, and
everything stops. Silence. Lights fade in to reveal Diana in the arms of a wealthy-
looking man who seems to be in his sixties.)

MAN: You are a very sweet girl. Ha! Look at you. Good things are indeed found in
places you least expect.

DIANA: Thank you. I’m glad you’re happy. Do you want me to get you anything
else? There’s cold water in the fridge.

MAN: Ah, no. Not at all, my dear. See, you have already given me everything. I am
satisfied! Very satisfied! The only problem now is that, eh, I must be on my
way. I don’t want rumours to start flying all over the place. You know how
people are.

DIANA: Yes. I can take you out through the back door if you don’t mind.

MAN: That will be nice. Good girl. Very good. Let me just put on my—

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(Harrison walks in in ripped clothes.)

HARRISON: Diana? Dad?

DIANA: Harrison…,

MAN: My God! Harrison!

HARRISON: What’s going on here?

MAN: Ah, my son. It’s been so long. Look at you. See, don’t worry about all this,
eh. It’s nonsense! Rubbish! I only came to this place because the students I
met at the university said you would be here. Now come. How have you been?
I hope—

HARRISON: Get away from me, you rogue!

(The man retreats with mouth agape.)

DIANA: No, Harrison. Don’t …,

HARRISON: I can’t believe you came all the way here! Don’t you get it? I don’t
want you anywhere around me! You always make me so embarrassed I want
to sink into the ground and cover myself! And look what you’ve done now!
Taken the woman I love for yourself!

MAN: Ah! Ah! This one?

HARRISON: Yes! Her! Even with all the mistresses and concubines you keep in
your harem, you still had to come for mine!

MAN: But she didn’t say—

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 HARRISON: Oh, to hell with you dad! To hell with you! You’re just a wicked,
greedy, big old balloon that only knows how to wreck everything in its way!
I hate you so much!

MAN: C’mon, stop all this shouting, Harrison. Do you want to wake up everyone?
What is wrong with you? Okay, come, let us talk about this in the car. I’ll
make it up to you. I promise.

HARRISON: Fuck you! I don’t want anything from you! I don’t want your money
or stupid gifts! Just get away from me! Go away, you selfish scoundrel!

DIANA: Calm down, Harrison. What’s wrong with you?

HARRISON: Calm down? Is that all you have to say? You cheat on me with my
father, and you tell me to calm down! Seriously!

DIANA: Oh, for Christ's sake, shut up! You know you’re not the only man I see!
You know there are other men who pass the night in my room! Why all this
drama!

HARRISON: How can you be so cold, Diana? He’s my father! He’s the enemy!

MAN: Me! Enemy? My God!

DIANA: But, at least, he’s more of a man than you! All you ever do is complain and
cry after sex. How do you think that makes me feel being around you all the
time!

HARRISON: I pour out my heart to you, and you pay me back with spittle in my face! I
love you, Diana! I love you! You alone gave me hope because, in your eyes, I found
the peace I sought in this lewdness and disorder that ravages me. And yes, I’m weak,
but don’t you see, you were the one meant to give me strength! You were the one
meant to walk me through this dark corridor! But it’s all falling apart now thanks to
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the man I call father! And do you even know how the protest went? Of course no! It
is obvious now that you never cared a dime about it! But I’ll tell you anyway! It was
a complete disaster! Everything had been going on well until the military came and
began shooting at us! Sam and some other guys became violent and were shot dead!
Right before my eyes, they shot them down like a pack of wild animals! They didn’t
even leave their bodies behind for us to carry back! And now I come here, drained
and downcast, only to find you in the lustful embrace of my father!

(In a fit of rage, Harrison attacks the man. Diana begins to scream, and Mama Rosa
and the girls rush onstage. They try to separate the two men from each other but
somehow end up making the situation worse. Diana marches over to them and begins
to pull Harrison.)

DIANA: Stop, Harrison! Stop it, please! I have something to say!

(Harrison stops grappling with the man. He notices Diana is weeping and tries to
take her into his arms. But she resists.)

I’m sorry, Harrison! I’m sorry, Mama! But I just can’t do this anymore! I am
stained! I am HIV positive! Now you can have me all you want!

(Diana breaks down at Harrison’s feet. The man faints. Blackout.)

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 END

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